#i am rydel tbh

[sparkythehappygiraffe]

Yoooo before I read y’alls thoughts on part 3, I’m just gonna dump all of mine here, y'all have probably already talked about some of this, but here’s my initial reaction (it’s kinda a lot lol)

Beware spoilers

WHEN I SAID MRS. MADO WAS SUS RIGHT AFTER PART 1 I SOOOOO CALLED IT BAHAHAHAHAHAH

Suzu really did kidnap Emily, but THEN Mado ALSO kidnapped Emily, poor Emily geez

Forest Mountain!!! (Okay but also how in the world did they get all the way to Forest Mountain?? We know for sure it’s AT LEAST a 19 minute drive from Odyssey, probably more like 30 or 40 and you’re telling me Suzu and Emily walked all the way there? Sureeeeeee)

The shack AAHHHHHHHHHH, I miss Novacom

Suzu claims to have installed the trapdoor, but like we know it was there because that’s where the Imagination Station was right...? Maybe it’s not the same shack? Maybe Suzu just never found the hidden room? Still doesn’t make any sense tbh

The score still slaps bros

Emily really just sacrificed herself for someone again didn’t she? What a gal, who knew I would come to admire a middle schooler

“Same old Whit’s End, same old Whit’s office” AH you know she’s thinking of that whole stand down from Name, Not a Number (and all the times she and Jason went up there to talk 😢)

Whit explaining Remembrance Day had me DYING, like you know it was just because kids have no idea what they’re talking about, but it was so funny to me

The figurine reminds me SO MUCH of the statue of liberty debacle from Sounds Like a Mystery

“Are there more agents here in Odyssey?” “I’m not allowed to say” THE IMPLICATIONS AASASAFASFHGDFHADH Is Jason still in the game after all? If not then who the hek is it? Is this a clue for something later? Or yet another casual Easter egg that will lead to nothing? We may never know and that drives me nutssssssss

“To conduct espionage on US soil” “And has she?” “I can’t say that either” “Awww” Same Morrie, same. Also big Search for Whit vibes lol, Morrie is actually Jason 😂

“First things first, do you have the maple leaf-” “That’s not the first thing, Suzu do you know where Emily and Mrs. Mado are??” LOLLLLL Tasha always thinking about the job first, people later 😂 And Whit’s just like Tasha nO. Also hOW did Suzu get all the way back to Whit’s End I dont understanddddd

Emily sending a lil secret message just like Tasha did in Name, Not a Number ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what a queen

This whole exchange situation is JUST like Name, Not a Number and I LOVE it

But also none of this makes the entire first part of the Rydell saga make any frickin sense smh. Like, the locker mystery still DOES NOT add up at allllllllllll. I’m so annoyed.

“You look different somehow” “it’s what happens when someone you trust betrays you” Now that we know that was actually Tasha, that comment makes me feel 🥺 she knows that feeling too well rip

Im a little confused about how that whole Imagination Station trick worked tho, but also I love it lol. There would be no drama in Odyssey without the Imagination Station would there 😂

Is this the same water works plant where Charles Edward Thompson saved Odyssey? Because idk why, but I find that funny

“Why not? He already locked me in a room and sucked out all the air, why not drown me this time?” Emily nooooooooooo, she deserves better

Was Mado actually hurting Tasha? How did that even work, I feel like Tasha and Suzu are pretty different in stature...? Imagination Station magic

GO TASHA YOU KICK BUTT LADY I LOVE YOU

Whit said the modification that could make someone seem like someone else came from a “different program I developed recently” THE IMPLICATIONS AGAIN Whit what are you up to??? It also reminded me of Blackgaard in Blackgaard’s Revenge tho which is a little scary

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Blackgaard really did manage to put his mind in Mr. Whittaker and that’s why he’s been acting sooooo off lately

Tasha just slips off into the night... SADNESS

We still have no idea what her job at the agency is at this point tho and that’s annoying

CONFIRMED Tasha knows Jason isn’t dead I flippin KNEW it, I’ve been saying it this whole time, I’m proud of myself 😂

What do you MEAN don’t tell Jason????? WHY??? IM SO UPSETTTTTTTTTTT

But when Whit says he won’t, he sounds low key sad and I’d love to understand why or what we somehow missed here, like what is HAPPENING?

Emily sounds so hurt and I HATE it

We all joke about the Whittakers endangering half the kids in Odyssey but WHAT THE HEK WHIT?? “Maybe I should have stepped in sooner” YA THINK?? WHERE HAS ALL OF HIS GOOD JUDGEMENT GONE? I DONT SEE IT ANYWHERE

Whit they’re 12, they aren’t supposed to be in life threatening situations, what is WRONG with you?

Whit that is NOT a satisfactory answer

Low key hype to still have the Rydells around tho

Dad Whit comin out full force tho, which I am very much here for

Finally gettin his foster kids (after all that jazz with Clara and Tony and Brianna, he’s been wanting this FOREVER)

But I just want to point out, we know two GENIUS foster parents that would know what to do with two GENIUS foster kids, I’m just saying, idk why this wasn’t more obvious here (it would probably be quite the chaotic time with Buck and everything, buuuuuuuut it could work)

I guess that’s all I have to say for now, but Imma go read what you guys thought, I’m VERY excited

[clumsyclifford]

psa i am so fucking sorry that every time i talk about my love for ross lynch i can’t shut the fuck up without writing a whole essay omfg

ok so this is very very off topic. but the driver era dropped a single tonight (it’s called leave me feeling confident. i am giving it a first listen as i type this). and like seeing the tracklisting for the album that’s coming out in october really has me like ???. they’ve already released 10 of the 15 songs on the album. why are they still releasing singles. and one of the 5 songs left to be released is an interlude?? like. it’s just weird tbh. like a kiss and forever always are both on it and those songs were released on like a mini ep as singles nearly TWO YEARS AGO. omg plz don’t come around (my fav fav fav song by them) and flashdrive are also both on it, which both came out like a year and a half ago. it just seems like such a weird way to release an album.

but anyways ! leave me feeling confident doesn’t seem awful. definitely will have to grow on me. i adore #1 fan, the last single they released, and no it isn’t because ross looked hot in the video. not at all. um yeah that’s all. i love ross and rocky with my entire heart but sometimes with their music i am simply confused. it just leaves me like ??? wyd. um ross did one of those going undercover on social media interviews a few weeks ago and i was just reminded of how in love with him i am. his lack of personality <33 my himbo <33 did you know he knows how to fly a plane. because their dad is a pilot. not only can i offer bella lore. i also have endless lynch family lore.

what’s some useless r5 lore. let me think. before sometime last night came out they had planned on releasing an album in like august-september of 2014?? but it kept getting delayed. not much of an explanation for why. anyways then sln didn’t come out until july of 2015 and i just remember being pissed about it. my mom took me to see them live (love her for that <33) onnnn july 25(?) that same year. i memorized the entire album in like two weeks. you know that meme that was popular for a second. the this can’t be the same brain meme. well this can’t be the same brain i used to memorize the entirety of sometime last night in 2 weeks. i wish i was her. OH more not really r5 but tde lore: omg plz don’t come around was written about a toxic relationship their youngest brother, ryland, was in where his gf kept cheating on him. ryland was their only sibling who wasn’t a member of r5.

the name of the band being r5 was a flat out LIE. yeah there were 5 of them. but the drummer’s name was ellington ratliff. ellington does not in fact start with R. he’s the only one who wasn’t related. him and rydel dated for several years?? FUN RANDOM FACT I JUST REMEMBERED. he was on the first episode of victorious??? lmfao this is one of my fav r5 crumbs. the very first episode of victorious. at the very beginning. tori is working on like this project for school at their kitchen table with this random boy who gets like 2 mins total of screen time. That Was Ellington. anyways ! then rydel & ellington broke up. i don’t think my heart has ever been crushed as much as it was the day rydel announced they had broken up. wait that’s a lie my heart was more broken when r5 rebranded without any prior announcement before doing it. but now he’s a pos so who cares ! I Am Sorry That Every Ask I Send About R5 Is An Essay. - bella !!!!!! (is it even necessary to sign off on asks like this. who else is coming to your ask box and sending essays about ross lynch)

((ok im gonna listen to the new single while i answer this bc i was just not aware of that happening))

uhhh........................what ??? the fuck ????????? i agree with all of that first of all god damn it why are they rereleasing these songs thats going to fuck up my spotify so fucking much second of all if theyve already released 2/3rds of their album why the fuck are they still releasing songs!!!! is it too late to pray the tracklist is a fake one meant to throw people off the scent. that would be nice. i'm legitimately kind of annoyed about this what the fuck is the point of this move boys i do not understand the logic

ok im really liking leave me feeling confident the vibes are interesting but the bass is soooooo sexy and when a song has a sexy bassline it always kicks up like at least three notches for me this song would probably be like a 6 without it but it's fully a 9 with it. SAX???? TLL ME THAT WAS A SAXOPHONE????? ok well i will say this, tde know how to arrange a song bro. they know how to throw cool sounds onto a track bro. also i am really liking the half steps in this song. like the flats in the melody. im not REALLY a music person im just talking.

oh bro back when i got into a&a/tde/r5 a bit i went on a tde interview binge so don't worry i have seen All the content, although a lot of it only once. but i distinctly remember one where they were going through their camera rolls and ross had a picture of nature or whatever and rocky asked him why and ross was like "bro you know i love nature" and that's the description of my tde complete works playlist because it makes me laugh. omg i was looking through my dms with iba for the video and i FOUND IT it's this one and it was actually his first instagram post not his camera roll but anyway the nature moment is at 2:30 and it makes me laugh. that video is actually so funny ross being like ?! i never got that shirt! or that trophy! im tryna call disney up............. bella if you just sent into a tde tailspin i will be very upset with you. while im at it though the other ross lynch quote that sends me off a fucking cliff is when shawn mendes/camila cabello's relationship gets brought up i don't remember how and ross lynch goes "we all know that relationship is fabricated!" can you imagine just being ross lynch im literally in love with him. im going to try and hunt down this interview one sec OKAY iba found it for me it's here anyway you've probably seen these already but they make me laugh

to be FAIR to ratliff though they never promised all first names would start with R and since one of his names started with R i think he can pass. i did actually know that i have a basic grasp of r5 lore although i did not know he was in victorious that's really funny good for him. not sure what a pos is but im happy for him i guess ? anyway thank you for the essay you got me rewatching tde interviews which are a nice way to spend an afternoon so thank you

[thecloserkin]

Wasteland by Francesca Lia Block (2003)

Genre: YA

Is it the main pairing: Yes

Is it canon: Yes

Is it explicit: No

Is it endgame: Ahahaha no he’s dead from the get-go the book is about her processing her grief

Is it shippable: Depends on your tolerance for angst — mine is high so yes

Yes the story is far from ideal but I am of the opinion that it is a must-read for incest shippers. Y’all can safely ignore the publisher’s summary which makes it sounds like this is a book about her falling in love with some other guy, how he helps her “put the pieces back together” and “face the past that is haunting her.” Lol like >70% of the scenes are in the “past,” her brother is not her past he is her everything.

A couple of stylistic disclaimers before we get into it: The dust jacket describes the novel as “darkly opalescent” and “poetic and lush.” If that’s not your cup of tea then you know who you are. It’s not exactly Second Person POV but it might as well be: the pronoun “you” is the siblings’ special name for each other, so the chapters are told in alternating POVs and there is a lot of “you” this “you” that. Nonlinear narrative too but you probably surmised that from the “poetic” bit. Francesca Lia Block’s prose is spare and sharp but the plot is nonexistent and the character development is scarcely less so. It’s a slim volume, 150 not-very-densely-spaced pages with generous margins, and we already know what’s going to happen. Spoiler alert they were iN lOvE!!!!! What this book does have in spades, however, is alllllllll the best brosis incest tropes; checks every damn box. Spoilers ahead:

When you were a baby I sat very still to hold you. I could see the veins through your skin like a map to inside you. How could skin be that thin? I was afraid you might drop and break. I stopped breathing so you wouldn’t …. Then you reached out and curled your fingers around mine … That was the first time I knew I had a heart inside my body.

I cannot get enough of this - the instant, bone-deep, lifelong connection. I look forward to seeing it develop into romantic love of course but you cannot skimp on establishing the depth of their relationship prior to that. Let the record reflect that I am 132% here for the older sibling gravitating to the crib to calm the crying baby. You know what I’m also here for? Teenagers walking in on each other masturbating:

You jerked up and looked at me. You were in bed with the sheet over you and the room smelled close. I smelled your pot and beer and your smell — salty, warm, baked. I read in a magazine that women aren’t supposed to be attracted to the smells of their father and brothers.

She’s clearly aware of her burgeoning attraction to him but she’s also confused by it, and even more confused about whether he reciprocates. She’s barged into his room before going on a date specifically so he’ll see her outfit and her makeup and I don’t think it’s even to make him jealous — jealousy is, if anything, a secondary objective. She wants him to tell her she’s beautiful. She needs his praise and validation in order to feel real; she needs it like a plant needs sunlight. One of my favorite things about incest ships is how they know each other inside out:

We’d stop for rocky road ice cream in Westwood on the way home and I picked out the nuts and gave them to you, you plucked marshmallows out for me.

Just the use of the customary we would stop instead of the one-off we stopped says volumes about this bonding ritual. Then she goes on to describe how she got sunburnt at the beach and he was the one to apply aloe/ointment to the blisters. The blisters on her CHIN and her CHEST. After that they have a convo about reincarnation, which ends thusly:

If you were a mermaid, you said, If you were a mermaid, I was the sea.

Later on he gets a mermaid tattoo. Adkjkdfjkdfdjk. At this point I should probably mention that the main characters’ names are Lex and Marina and Marina means “from the sea.” It is unclear what Lex is short for but probably Alexander? Which means something like “defender.” Check it out though this is what happens when Marina gets her first period:

I asked Michelle to go and get you. I could have told her, I guess, but I didn’t. I wanted you. I was scared and you were always who I went to when I was scared. I was practically stuck to my seat. The wetness pooling underneath me. I looked up at you. You had come running. There was sweat on you face, your eyes all pupil. Hey, you, you said, down on your knees looking at me. Hey you what is it you scared me you okay?

She doesn’t even say anything just casts her eyes downward into her lap and he knows right away what it is. He takes off his sweatshirt, ties it around her hips, pulls her upright, holds her against him for a second, then goes on to walk behind her down the hall, shielding her body with his. When will you fave ever.

I never looked at other boys. I tried, as I got older, to like them. I tried to like my square-jawed dance partner in sixth grade graduation … I tried teen idols with their skinny bodies and whiny voices … I tried to like Robby Rydell because he was a good skateboarder but he caught me with a jump-rope lasso and tried to stick his tongue in my mouth on the playground before he ever said hi. I really tried hard to like Brent Fisher because it seemed important that I find somebody at that point. Not somebody to fill a space. There was never a space.

TRIED TO STICK HIS TONGUE IN MY MOUTH BEFORE HE EVER SAID HI. Why would she ever go for any of these jerkwads when Lex is right there.

So in addition to the Lex and Marina POVs there are also sections narrated by a kid named West, a friend of Marina’s. He is lowkey interested in her, but I’m okay with that since it’s not like he’s bitter or whinging about being friendzoned. I’m actually partial to Outsider POVs when they serve the important narrative function of confirming the untouchability of the main relationship, which West absolutely does. He literally thought Lex was her boyfriend the first time he saw Marina in seventh grade:

They were walking together and laughing and he thought that must be her boyfriend.

Imagine how many people must have thought the same thing though. And West is very matter-of-fact when he describes Lex as “the person you love more than anyone,” and when he sees Marina completely dry-eyed at Lex’s funeral he is super concerned because how the hell do you hold all of that in girl — “to hold your brother’s life and his death inside of her,” is the way he puts it.

One time Lex goes to a fortune teller. She tells him “There’s someone who loves you too much,” which is exactly the sort of vague but broadly applicable prognostication that con artists are known for tendering. For fifty dollars she promises to tell him more, but Lex thinks What more could she tell me? I already knew. He fights it but he can’t help it because him and Marina? It’s like fighting gravity. Tbh most of the tension in their relationship is a result of them trying to fight the gravitational pull of their attraction. Lex goes to a prostitute because, well:

She was the farthest I could get from you. That’s what I wanted.

The next logical thing to do, of course, is to date Marina’s bff, thereby damaging Marina’s own relationship with the girl but Lex explains he’s desperate to do something, anything to “sever” himself from Marina definitively. Needless to say I am 200% here for siblings engaging in unsatisfactory sex with other partners in order to cope with their forbidden feelings … as long as they hook up in the end. Which they do. While housesitting for Lex’s English teacher. It’s this grand old house with a sunken garden, filled with old books and plenty of wine, and outside the jasmine is in full bloom. I mention this because the scene is carefully framed as a romantic one, not some sordid sweaty physical encounter. I’m pretty sure there was fumbling — it was Marina’s first time after all — but it’s in keeping with the genre that Marina draws herself a bubble bath and throws the window open and calls for Lex to bring her a refill of wine … and that’s when we fade to black. Guys their story is TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD.

They go to a club:

One of the guys from out there came over … He said hey, asked you who I was. You asked him why he wanted to know. He flashed his sharp teeth at you. He said why’d you think? because I was a babe. You said I was your sister and you looked like a statue.

Lex is torn between being overprotective because Marina is his sister or jealous because Marina is the love of his life and I am dyyyyying. Lex, later:

He may have a basement full of artillery but if he ever comes near you I am going to kill him.

Straight up threatening to end anyone who even looks crosswise at his (objectively drop-dead gorgeous) sister? YES.

After Lex dies a random girl whom Marina has never laid eyes on before comes to their door and demands a memento so she can make an honest-to-god altar to Lex. This is creepy af and I don’t at all blame Marina for telling her to get lost. Well, it turns out this girl was in love with Lex probably. And you know how sometimes when you’re in love even if it’s one-sided you notice things about the object of your affection that other people don’t? This girl feels like she was entitled to Lex’s affection as much as his leather jacket. Lol bitch no he belongs to Marina heart and soul.

She said that Marina would regret this. She said it’s one thing to keep someone to yourself when they’re alive, but when they’re dead it’s really sick.

Don’t worry, Marina handles her fine. But it’s strongly implied that this girl, or someone else in her posse, or someone else entirely, guessed or suspected about the incest and threatened Lex with the knowledge and that’s how he winds up committing suicide.

I love this book so much. At the same time it is just.so.painful. to read. It unequivocally frames Lex and Marina’s story as a love story rather than as deviant behavior, which is all to the good. And it’s like Trope City here. But Lex essentially commits suicide out of guilt for the intensity of his feelings for Marina, which — last time I checked the world was not suffering any shortage of incest stories where it ends badly for the protagonists. And then …. plot twist! (I know I said there was no plot but somehow there is a plot twist.) Turns out Lex was adopted. Cue the Alanis Morissette song “Ironic.” Marina is livid when she confronts her mother about it:

I said I had a right to know, why didn’t she tell me?

Do you think I didn’t see what was between you? Do you think I could tell you he wasn’t really your brother ad have my children …

She couldn’t finish it and I couldn’t tell her that it had happened anyway.

Welp. So that happened. And when she recounts the conversation to West, he says:

Isn’t it harder now, that you know you could have?

It’s the same thing. He was my brother anyway. When someone is something to you, it’s always that.

Which about sums up how I feel about it too. The first time I read this book I was pissed about the deus ex machina reveal but I have since softened in my censure. The fact that Marina finds out about it too late makes it more tragic, not less, and it’s not like Francesca Lia Block was ever going to give us a happy ending. She’s also written another book with incest but that one is about a very damaged girl whose father molested her :(

[clumsyclifford]

WHAT THE FUCK i just tried to send an ask and it didn’t go through i actually hate tumblr. going to summarize what i had written because i am Annoyed by it not going through

1. congrats on meeting rian and zack!! and seeing atl!! it seems like you had the absolute most fun and i am vv happy for you!! also yes i am glad that u did Not ask rian what time alex was born because while the answer would have been interesting to know. it would have seemed vv weird </3 overall very funny story tho

2. i don’t know as much weird info about atl but i feel u on that when it comes to r5. like the other day rydel was posting pics of her at tour rehearsal for tde then posted a video where she was like “some of you have been what i’m at rehearsal for so in case u don’t know my brothers ross and rocky are in a band called the driver era and i tour with them playing keyboard!” and it really had me like. oh. we’re to the point where people don’t know her from r5. ok. I Wish I Was Them. only knowing rydel as a social media influencer who’s married to a youtuber. to live in ignorant bliss.

3. do it again fic??????? INTERESTING. 100% would read because it would be amazing. side note i am pretty sure i wrote a do it again fic when i was like 12. and after checking my old wattpad can confirm that i did. on september 14 2015. why does it have 998 reads and 42 votes. i was 12. so just be aware any do it again fic you write has a very low high bar to meet that has been set by the do it again fic i wrote at 12. for legal purposes this is a joke your writing is lovely and you could write a single sentence and it would be superior to literally anything i wrote at 12.

alright have a great sleep have a lovely night good luck with classes starting they started for me last week and i already want to commit die and now i will go read 44 pages of this book that i need to read by tomorrow (technically today yikes) - other bella

1. thank you!! and yes everyone has agreed that would have been a very invasive and stalkery thing to ask so it was definitely smart not to.

2. fgdmnjshfgdslkdj no but literally i feel you on this lmao if i was rydel tbh i would just assume people knew me

3. DID YOU REALLYYYYYYYYYYYY OMG SAME FUCKING BRAIN BELLAAA THATS SO FUNNY good for you. good for US. well it's on my playlist of songs to write fics about but i don't know that i'll be getting to it anytime soon ill let you know if i do

ugh thank you my classes started today they were okay tbh nothing horrible YET but there's still tomorrow so i don't wanna speak too soon. good luck with your work i should probably maybe look into whatever work i may have but i think im gonna watch bones instead