#i briefly got sick w covid after going to paramore
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uh oh. feelings again
#at this point Im just emotionally numb#and at the same time#TOO emotional yknow#it has been two months since things went to shit#and one of my dogs died#had to be reminded a week after when picking up his ashes#in what was really a huge blur of a week of grief#im still fucked up from that#i briefly got sick w covid after going to paramore#i say briefly bc symptoms are practically gone now atp#only one has still considered me a friend despite everything#i think it's finally just. over#and no one wants to admit it#one's probably cut me off for good#i honestly wouldnt be surprised if he did#p sure he's hated me for a while#and honestly? maybe i deserve it#but also what the fuck#i wanna feel hateful I really do#but i just dont have it in me#i just wanna let myself blackout or smth#never wake up yknow#... i dont know what to do anymore.#vent
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