#i cant design a costume to save my life rip

[bleekay]

i started this waaaaay back when i first binged miraculous ladybug. couldn't get over the dynamic of superhero duo who don't know each other's secret identities but do also know each other in their normal lives, and they're in love but they aren't but they are they just don't know it.

you know, i originally was spending so much time trying to think of sokka's alter ego, and i put grey wolf in as a filler but then i realized how Sokka it was. like this other dude in a costume introduces himself like "hey, I'm the Blue Spirit" and sokka who hasn't had time to process yet that he's a superhero and is indeed the worst at naming things, goes, "oh, Blue Spirit? Hi. I'm..... Grey.... Wolf." and then zuko would be like "You just used my name as a template! You just changed the color and the creature!!!" and sokka's like "Whaaaaat! Nooooo. No. I actually had this idea before you even said anything, which means actually you are the one copying me!" and zuko demands he change his name, think of something better, but the news is there so it's already circulating and people are saying what a nice pair they make

[id: digital fanart of Sokka and Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender, split into two sections. The top section is a 4-panel comic, from an interview-style perspective asking questions individually of Sokka and Zuko, both wearing modern clothes. Panel 1 asks Sokka, “What do you think about Zuko?” He shrugs and looks away thoughtfully, answering, “Zuko? Hm. I don’t know him too well. I guess he’s pretty cool.” Panel 2 asks Zuko, “What do you think about Sokka?” He scratches at the back of his neck and looks away, blushing with a sheepish grin, and answers, ”Ah… He’s… he’s nice.” A little heart indicates his true feelings. Panel 3 asks Sokka, “What about the Blue Spirit?” Sokka clasps his face between his hands, eyes shiny and half-lidded, cheeks red, a squiggly smile on his face and hearts all around, and answers, “… LOML.” Panel 4 asks Zuko, “What about Grey Wolf?” Zuko’s face is stern, his hand balled in a fist, and he answers, “Annoying.” There’s two small captions on the bottom that read (he’s kidding) (… maybe). The bottom section is a depiction of Sokka and Zuko together as their alter egos, Grey Wolf and the Blue Spirit respectively. Grey Wolf has a wolf mask that covers the top half of his face, a skintight blue, grey, and white suit, with leather straps to hold weapons and white fur on his shoulders and wrists, as well as a fluffy tail. The Blue Spirit is in the canon mask, plus a skintight blue and black suit, with a sword strapped to his back. Grey Wolf has one arm around Blue Spirit’s back grabbing his shoulder, and his other hand is gently poking at the Blue Spirit’s cheek. Grey Wolf is grinning and has a little heart indicating he’s enjoying this. The Blue Spirit is standing with his arms crossed and a scribble indicating he’s annoyed. The background is a vague cityscape at sunset. end id]

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.5

"I don't think fire's all that bad, you know"

3rd person pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the sun hung high in the sky the h/t haired girl stumbled around the train station in search of a restroom. Y/n had never experienced the mundane tasks a commoner would usually persue on a daily. Things like public transit, or any transit for that matter, were an enigma to her.

So while elder men stared a little too long and young children pointed at her in recognition, she spun in circles like a lost puppy.

"Its just a fucking bathroom, should there be someone here to direct people or something! Ugh and whats with the school girl fetish, these old guy are creeps..." she mumbled to herself continuing to get more and more lost on the platform.

Meanwhile, the rest of 1-A were making their way to internships as well, Midoriya scrolled into some old guys house, Kirishima bumped into his metal replica, and Bakugou held his grump posture and nonchilauntly entered the top 3 heros agency. He was expecting to at least learn something from this guy, or gain real life experience with villains. He never anticipated being scrutinized for his personality. No shit I'm scary, Im trying to kill shitty villains not make teenage girls put a picture of me on their wall.

For the first day of this new challenged everbody seemed to be having a ridiculously mundane time. Not y/n, though. No our main character was going through it, once she made it to the restroom, she got confused by how easily the toilet paper ripped in her hand and spent 20 minutes trying to get at least one whole time out of the stubborn roll. Then, when she opened up her bag to view the new hero-suot her mother helped design...she found strings¿

She ended up having to look at an example picture and read a guide on how to put what where. It took an additional hour considering the tightness of everpiece of fabric and when she stepped out of the stall to look in the mirror, she deadpanned. How could her mother hate her this much? It was already a burden being so sexy, but this? This was crazy.

She wasnt sure weather she should take a million photos, or never leave the bathroom and cry all day. However when her phone rang, a call from Mr.Woods agency, she realized how late she already must be.

In her rush, y/n also forgot about the creeps men and was recieving many stares, that went unnoticed. Until somebody had the audacity to touch her. It was just a ghost of his finger tips on the underneath of her ass that was no doubt on full display. That would not go accepted, as a girl who had turned her past trauma into nothing but a small personality traits, she wasnt scared. Still, as a woman who absolutely idolizes herself, or so she says, no one in this train station deserved the touch of her perfect, shiny, s/c skin.

The last error that secured her terrible first day was how y/n spun around and grabbed the mans fingertips. When she took a glance at him, he was smiling as if he had acomplished something. Boy was he wrong, only coming to realized so when the y/h girl suddenly had sprouted a vine from his finger.

He watched in fear as it began to grow and wrap around him, all the while the young girl he'd never met before let out a sickening aura that couldve suffocate him then and there. The vine continued to curl up around his middle and ring finger, slowly meeting the flash of his palm.

Once the growing stopped, y/n had almost decided to let him go. A part of her new that her plan wasn't well thought through, and he could be an innocent guy that accidentally touched her.

However, aggression outwayed logic and she looked him deep in the eye.

"You like using these fingers to touch things your not supposed to?"

"N-n-"

"Shhh, dont worry, im just gonna make sure you dont go touching things that arnt yours, okay?" She made an aggresive fist with the hand not touching him and the vine squeezed in. Anyone a foot away would be able to tell, but the both of them could hear how his two fingers snapped and bent under the pressure.

With a satisfied grin at the whispering man, y/n decided he had learned his lesson. Wow look at that, and I didnt even need some manly hero to come save me. Atta girl y/n.

Little did she know that not only did her pro-hero boss come to look for her, but je also saw the whole disaster. He was not pleased to say the least.

Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the tree like man sat down in his office chair across from me, all I could do was look to my feet. I didnt feel particularily had about my actions, however, I did feel bad about being late.

While it is fun to be spontanious and act like theres nothing to lose, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to control the earth aspect of my quirk. Ill never admit it if someone asks, but sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is knowing how strong my quirk is. Knowing that they cant hurt me if I stay strong.

Still, it just seems that as I grow older, the people trying to get to be get bolder and more powerful. Some might even say...they get smarter, too. Thats a scary thought; that if I want to stay alive at all I need to be constantly improving. I am not sure if I want to stay alive or not, but Ill be damned if dying or living isnt my choice.

Feeling the need to break the silence, I began my rant on all the reasons I had come up with that justify my actions. I was planning it on the way out here.

"Look, im sorry mr.woods. I know im not very heroic and shit, but when perverts to pervert things somebody has to do something, and its not like anybody else there would have scared a glance if I didnt save myself-"

"Your wrong."

"Huh- I wasnt done. Anyways i-"

"L/n you are wrong."

"Dude im trying to-"

"There was heroes on patrol, how else did you think i found you? There were real heroes ready to protect you, if you had simply shouted people would have been alarmed of such. I dont understand kids and their need to do everything alone." He rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued to stare at me.

"Excuse me but I dont think your in a place to comment on how I react to myself being touched. He was gonna get my skin dirty and for what, two seconds of his school girl fantasy. Ew."

"Your skin....dirty?"

"Yes, he is nowhere near my standards on someone who should be allowed to touch me...not even a brush of the fingers..ugh!"

"Alright well, I cant get you in trouble because then I get in trouble...so, tell me about your quirk while we go on patrol."

His chair sqeaked against the floor as he stood up and it slid back. Then he motioned for me to follow by painting out the door.

Relieved that I didn't have to talk about all the fake reasons people aren't allowed to touch me, and that I could finally get outside so my quirk would stop suffocating me, I was quick to exit the building.

I'm not sure if its the fact that ive only been using a forth of her, but my quirks side effects have been so shitty recently. To the point that our school nurse estimsted my new rate for being inside for an extended period of time was about three hours.

I havent actually combusted in years, but I've been close and god does it hurt. My chest starts to squeeze and I can feel all the energy drain from my body, then pieces of me start to get hold and cold at the same time.

"So what really is your quirk?"

I looked up at the hero next to me as we continued on down the street of the inner City.

"How much did Aizawa tell you?"

"I-he said...she has all the right elements? And told me I'd figure it out.." He scratched the back of his head.

I smirked at that. Who knew aizawa actually listened to the words I said. I was pretty sure after the whole sulking chrollos dick thing, he would have permanently tuned me out.

"Heh, that raggedy ann bastard" I smile smugly.

"So, what does it mean?"

"Ahh, okay so, did you go to U.A?"

"Um yes kid, why?"

Then im certain je knows of my family, explaining my quirk will be easier. God, this really is my favorite part.

I reached my left hand out, knowing he was right handedly and would respond well to it and then spoke.

"Hi, nice to meet you, im y/n l/n of the elementus royal quirk family."

Once he shook my hand I did a polite curtsey, as I learned in ballet to do that instead of bowing. Its much more fun to do this at family event, where I get to wear big dresses and pretend im important...but this'll have to do.

"The-i-oh shit..." He mumbled the last part in defeat, likely just figuring out what he'd gotten himself in to.

"So, im guessing you've got ...."

"Total control, yup" I confirmed.

"And you wanna focus on earth elements, like what flowers?"

I smirk up at him allowing my aura to put an intimidating facade.

"Actually I was thing more like venus fly traps" as I said traps I let my hands clap together mimicking the plant and bit at the air with my teeth.

He stopped walking and just glanced from side to side, waiting for me to start making sense again.

Until we heard some crying in the distance.

The two of our heads shot over and were met with a strange sight. There were three young boys, looked about 8¿ and a man, hero maybe? Crouched in front of them not looking all that nice. He had spike blonde hair, red eyes, gauntlets on his wris-

"Oh my god its bakugou, look sir! Thats the hot guy I switched schools for!"

"Wha-"

"BAKUGOUUUU!! HEYYY!"

his head slowly shifted from the kids to me and it seemed to only make him more angry. Then, once again I couldn't help but bask in the pure aggression...in his eyes.

They were red, fitting for the anger thry held, but it was beautiful. It was passionate, the way he could yell for hours about god knows what because he cares. He may care about petty things, or silly things, but he always cares so much. So passionately. That I can see it in his eyes.

"Oh my, whAt is this costume deary?"best jeanist spoke from ahead of us as we approach.

"Hi sir, sorry about the skin showing, my quirk is heavily enhanced the more my pours are exposed to the natural elements, especially oxygen. If I was more covered parts of my body would begin to go completely numb. Also doesnt my body look amazing! Im a lot more in shape since you saved me last"

I blamed happily at jeanist. Though we arent neceserilly close, he is definitely a great hero and has always been someone who easily sees through my façaude. Plus his fashion sense is wonderful and I often send him pictures of my outfits. Although he doesnt respond I know he sees them and if they were bad he would be mean about it instead of ignoring it.

"Well. It definitely gives your body..access to that. And the sword?"

Ahh...the sword that I liked to carry. It was now stored in its place on my back.

"Call it a good luck charm, plus, we cant rely only on our quirks, then we are just weak people with strong powers. Rather than strong people."

I was always one to put on a show for him, as I do for lost of pro heroes. Its a lot more fun to say things like your all serious and fancy and smart sometimes. Its my little inside joke with myself, like to laugh at how easily people are awed by it.

Like how even though children were still crying bakgou was staring at me face void of emotion, completely struck at my words.

Definitely not..staring at my body that was exposed. Not eyeing the tight strap that wraps my left leg, that he doesnt know is a funcional lasso.

Noticing him, im quick to avert my attention.

"Hey bakugou~"

"Tch you really went from shitty princess to slutty princess huh?"

"You really went from telling deku you'd be number one hero, to making kids cry on the street, huh?" I challenged

I heard the crying boys laugh a little, just the age reminded me of my brother, Im sure they have nothing in common, but I havent seen any of my brothers in quite some time so I suppose a small part of me was just projecting.

I hated that they were crying, though. Ussually I dont like kids, they are stinky and gross and the main reason people have been ruining my life up til now. However, noticing these three reacting to bakugou in a way I wish emotionally available enough for, it made me feel obligated to help them. Wierd, huh.

"Hey, did that guy use his fire all scary?"

"Yeah, he was gonna kill us"

"Fires scary."

I giggled a bit, I knew fire like the back of my hand. It was the first thing I mastered as a child and the way I see bakugou use it doesnt to the element justice.

"Hm, well, I dont think so...can I show you something?"

The kid in the middle, apparently the braver of them, lifted his gaze from the concrete to meet my eyes. Just as I crouched down to my knees in front of them he nodded up at me.

I smiled at this, proud that I earned his trust for...some odd reason.

My hands formed a cup shape in front of him and I focused my ears so I could hear the blood rushing through my own brain, like waves. This was how I learned to use elements singularly: by using my internally noise to block out everything else.

I first allowed a small line of fire to dance around, now bigger than a candle wick. Then through another, and another as the boy watched carefully. Not yet impressed his face was still caustious. However I continued focusing my energy, feeling my body, the air around me, the heat of the sun, even remember the passion from bakugous crimson eyes.

I as I did so the many small flames twirled and twisted within eachother forming into a beautiful blue and orange fluctuating flower.

The boy looked into my hands mouth now agape, tears dried, fear gone. Then, again, for some reasons unbeknownst to me... I felt a sense of pride.

He tapped his friends so they would look up and I continued making my fire into different things, birds, planes, people. The kids were entranced.

I looked back to see the two pros staring at me with a certain level of pride mixer with shock. While bakugou seemed at a loss for words. God knows why this time?

"I don't think fire is all that bad you know..."

"Pft, yeah, I know kid," with that I threw my little flames above their heads and let the sparks fall down of them like shiny glitter. Then, overwhelmed with this horrible feeling in my chest. I retreatdd to my boss for the weak. Was that..happiness? Ew.

[greenlandhollerpets]

Part 1 of 3. “Things Change in A Moment!” Greatest News of my life in the morning/ and a bomb on my soul at 3:33 p.m. (August 2, 2018) Last Thursday, one week ago today, with great dreams being realized, I was given devastating news. Okay first of all on Wednesday, August 1, 2018, MIchael and I met with the head of marketing for Dos Lagos to review and finalize details to pursue our idea of having one day a month, preferably the first Sunday, be a PET SOCIAL at their beautiful location. And, get all the paperwork finished, i.e. contracts. Insurance secured, and details of the planned itinerary for each show from time to activities. Swirling in my head has been to create a day not about us, but about bringing together our community of dog, and pet lovers, to share their animals, enjoy some quality speakers from vets, to trainers, to people with books or TV shows sharing new ideas on pet care, and even have some neighborhood kids singing to entertain all. And have raffles, a bake shop, and other fun little entities. The entire event is about bringing our community together, and also let people know about our dogs in need of new homes, plus the animals waiting to be saved in our shelters. So, upon leaving there, I was in the clouds. Now, however, on Tuesday, when we had our first appointment, I was unable to walk that morning, and had to postpone the meeting a day, however it was all working out. The marketing professional has bigger ideas than me! That says a lot about this creative man. He plans in a few months, because he’s sure we will be packed to close off streets. YES YES YES. This man gets it! Completely, and greater than we do ! Im designing dog Costumes for our young people volunteers. We can be just like Disney. I began working on the itinerary the moment we got back to the Sanctuary. Then the next morning, Michael and I had to get up really early as I had a long awaited appointment with the top spinal neurologist surgeon at USC. I had seen him before; he did not think he could redo my four botched back and sacrum surgeries; suggested I get a spinal NEURO transmitter, kind of like a pacemaker for the spine. I cant walk, my left leg is nearly all dead, and each day the pain is excruciating. His EMG test showed my L4, L 5, and S 1 in my spine were severed. But I felt in my heart the NEURO deal was just a bandaid. I don’t need a bandaid. I need a solution. Everyday I cant walk, and the pain is excruciating. Well, this man had been working trying to figure out what was the real problem. And he found out the issue, My sacrum is not straight. He sent all my records, and tests, to John Hopkins and other outside resources too. Well, 12 years ago, I broke my sacrum ice skating in northern Minnesota on Christmas Eve day, Dressed up in a winter wonderland dress, new skates, and rolling along with my cousins on an area all the boys had cleared for us girls. Hot toddies were at our pit stops, Im with my cousins that have been in my life since born, its Christmas and just like all our Christmas Holidays as children, we were together, and skating . . . . . Oh let the Minnesota wind blow! Plus I looked so cute. Well, the rink was a little bumpy. Hey the guys are older now too, but who cared; not me! But thirty minutes out I went down on my ribs, yes I broke a couple of those too, but I did not care. I got up and flew off to skate more. Im nearly flying. Happy? I was in heaven! However THEN I fell on my back. Oh brother! I could not get up! OOPS. And dear Michael comes over to me, my pretty dress ripped at the bottom, I can’t get up at all, and he says, “I thought you were a really great skater?.” Yeah, yeah, well guess Ive lost some of my flight with age. Us kids skated hour after hour as children. But those years had long passed, and I knew I was in trouble. The boys, now men, had to carry me back to the house. Good grief! And pain, I think I drank an entire bottle of Minnesota Brandy! It was interesting though, I was still having the time of my life. I was with my dear dear cousins, we played Bingo for Christmas Eve, nearly killing each other over getting the extraordinary gifts, of ducks carved by one of the guys, blankets hand made, and just precious gifts. You toss dice, and when the gifts are all opened, you toss the dice among you, and when you get doubles, you can take a gift from another person. That’s when the fun begins. As kids we were dangerous over the gifts mostly hand made. No wonder I have such a diligent drive to WIN! And never give up. So all my childhood memories I was reliving. Little did I know I had SHATTERED my SACRUM. Shattered! I had destroyed my sacrum. But with cocktails, laughter and a MInnesota old-fashioned blizzard, just like when I was a child, I was on a cloud. Michael and I had driven to Minnesota to fix up my aunt’s home. She was found murdered, oh thats another story, she was MURDERED. I was her executor and niece. She and my mom were very close, and Nancy spent all her summers with her children, same age as me, at our supper club. Now she was dead, and it was and still is a horror. Another day I will tell all, but not right now. But we are in a truck, 400 miles north of the cities, and thousands of miles north of our home in California. The day after Christmas, we still had celebrating to do, the usual meal, And just sharing all our tales. But the following day MIchael and I headed down to Minneapolis, in a a severe snowstorm which for me made the trip bearable, and memorable, and fun! Im easy to please! We decided we would go to the hospital in the cities, as if I had to go into a hospital MIchael could be working on the my aunts house that had been stripped and nearly destroyed by a stranger she had befriended. A lonely woman in need of love! Well Edina hospital informed me my tail bone was broken, and just needed to heal. And gave me I think 250 20 mg. Of Percocet. Yikes. And my many other relatives made sure we had liquor. I love being in Minnesota! We had a balloon bed on the floor. I hurt so bad, and could not lift my legs at all; couldn’t really walk, but I supervised! We were thinking of moving back there at this point. My aunts home was beautiful, it had just been harmed, but it was coming together so elegant, and I thought I would finally get to go back home. A dream in my heart for years. But it did not happen. I was too sick, and we did what was critical, well Michael did, and headed home to California. We set up pillows and tried to make me comfortable, it was a horrible ride though. We met Michaels mom, dad, sister and family in Arizona. They were celebrating a family anniversary. I tried to attend the dinner, but we had to get up and leave. We got on the highway. I needed to be in a hospital, and we needed to get home. At the dinner table, I asked everyone for their drinks . . . .told them not to worry they should order a couple more. The pain had become excruciating. And then we were home, we did not even go home, Michael drove us to our Corona hospital, where they told me to study yoga, and within minutes Michael took me to UCI. Immediately I was given Morphine. I had never had morphine, that I knew about, and I made them flush it out, I hated the feeling, but other drugs were acceptable. Then I was told my sacrum was shattered. However by now, it had started to heal. I was placed in the hospital for a few days, but made a decision to just let it heal. I COULD NOT GO THRU the PAIN again! For eight months I could not walk. But I exercised faithfully and hard core daily, and finally I was at least able to walk. I thought I was going to be okay. I didn’t realize my sacrum made the structure of my body unstable and unbalanced. Well, that fall and the damage is my entire problem today. UCI with my four surgeries never fixed the sacrum. My back sticks out which is not acceptable. My doctor at USC says you can’t walk for long with the position of my spine. You lose all stability. I only have a few months to get things fixed, or I can become paralyzed. This doctor was haunted by what he had seen in my tests. He told me on this morning, August 2, 2018, that he could fix me or at least give it all he has, as I DONT HAVE A CHOICE. I was beyond happy, I now had hope and a real solution. I can be fixed. Then I had a CT Angiogram with contrast. Remember I had a heart attack and have congestive heart. failure, with a definite constricted heart. The new back surgery is dangerous, so all has to be cleared. I have the test done, and found out my veins are just not working at this time.. They had to use my hand for the IV for the contrast. What else can go wrong. But moving right along, test all done, Michael and I are almost home after another long journey now from LA USC to home in Corona; it’s about 3:30. My cardiologist phones: “You need to turn your car around and come back here. We need to put you in the hospital immediately. You have clot in you lung. You have a critical pulmonary embolism!” “WHAT?” No. Michael turned the car around, but the traffic was absolute grid-lock. He said we needed to go to Corona.....NO NO NO! Anyway, no choice I could die taking the ride. So We went to Corona. First thing I am told is this hospital no longer has a cardiac department, oh goodness. But they did have lung doctors. Get me to USC. “You can’t travel!” I am told. Visit us at www.greenlandhollerpets.org

[hammerofthezods]

Movie Review - THE Karate Kid - PART 2!

This is the second movie in the Karate Kid action series.  I'm starting with part two because that's what was on last night after I had finished drinking my one-hundreth beer of the day.

So, there's this kid (man?) named Daniel Larusso who used to be really bad at karate until he got pretty good at it and beat Johnny Lawrence and the way cool Cobra Kai team in the All-Valley Karate tournament.  Johnny only makes a brief appearance in this movie when he gets killed by his old karate coach at the beginning.  Daniel is played by Ralph Machio who you probably remember from your collection of Tiger Beat magazine covers.  While Ralph is a total heartthrob, his character Daniel is LAME. AS. SHIT.  Seriously, Daniel Larusso is probably the worst kid ever.  He whines constantly and acts like a little bitch, but somehow still manages to date questionably attractive girls and win karate fights on the reg.  Another super lame thing about Daniel is his mom who is literally the worst.  His mom is really terrible and I just cant even...   

The movie starts just after Daniel defeats Johnny in the big fight.  Daniel walks out to the parking lot where his teacher, Mr. Miyagi, is bitching about being hungry.  Before they can go celebrate at Bennigans (because you just know that's where they're going), Miyagi has to fight the leader of the Cobra Kai because he just broke Johnny Lawrence's neck as retribution for losing to lame ass Daniel.  So then, I guess they go to Bennigans to eat.   

The next scene starts when Mr. Miyagi is at his house trying to catch a fly with chopsticks.  By the way, is this not the dumbest activity ever? So, Miyagi actually catches a fly and is super proud of himself when Daniel rolls up in his car that is on fire.  Daniel has just come from his school prom and his wearing the same tuxedo that Jeff Daniels wore in Dumb and Dumber.  This movie was made in 1986 and I'm pretty sure that nobody was still wearing these terrible tuxedos, but I guess the costume designer decided not to give a shit about historical accuracy that day.  Anyway, Daniel is all pissed because his girlfriend, Elizabeth Shue (sometimes hot), dumped him for some other guy who probably wasn’t nearly as insufferable as Daniel.  I guess she left Daniel on prom night which is a total player move.  So, Daniel is pissed and Miyagi is all like "You always come over here and bitch about shit.  The only way to feel better is to help me build stuff in my backyard."  So Daniel learns how to hold a hammer and then he feels better.         

Daniel is getting ready to go to college when Miyagi finds out that he has to go to Okinawa, Japan because his dad died.  Daniel says "I'm going with you because I just know that I'm going to get bullied in college".  So now they go to Japan and on the plane Daniel reads a book about Okinawa because that's just how damn awful he is.  When they get there, they get picked up at the airport and driven to meet Miyagi's best friend in a  warehouse.  Miyagi's friend's name is Sato and he actually hates Miyagi because they used to try to date the same girl.  Sato is way rich and pretty much owns Okinawa. Sato tells Miyagi that while he's in town they are going to fight to the death because I guess that's a thing there.  After Miyagi says no to the death match, he and Daniel go to Miyagi's dad's house and there we get to meet some Japanese people.  I forgot to mention earlier that Sato has a nephew named Chozen which is a totally dumb name.  It's obvious that Chozen is going to be a main villain in this movie because he acts pretty tough and intimidates Daniel greatly.         

So, Daniel wakes up the next day and finds Miyagi sitting in the family dojo.  There's a bunch of spears and shit on the walls and Daniel probably wishes that he had some weapons like that.  Now Daniel and Miyagi walk around the village and Miyagi tells him that the secret to karate is learning how to play with this weird looking hand drum.  Just in case you weren't clear on how dumb Daniel is, when Miyagi tells him about the drum, Daniel's all like "Oh yeah, I totally get how that would make me good at fighting".  Terrible.  Anyway, Daniel is now walking down the street when he sees Chozen selling carrots to the villagers.  They are paying for the carrots with what look like ancient caveman money, which Jesus, they had actual money in 1986 so stop making us think that this is some feudal village.  Daniel thinks that Chozen is ripping people off with the caveman money, which is such a boss move, and he totally calls him out.  Chozen is super pissed about this and calls Daniel an asshole.  Now the rivalry is on and I cannot wait to watch Daniel get beat up so hard.          

Later on, Daniel is cruising around downtown looking dumb as usual and he walks into a bar where a bunch of guys are punching sheets of ice for bets.  Daniel, in his terrible whiny way, tells everyone that he can break all the ice because he knows karate.  Just as he's about to totally embarrass himself, Chozen shows up and is like "I got six hundo on the ice".  Daniel, complains that he doesn’t have that much money, but then Miyagi walks in and says he'll cover the bet.  Then Daniel breaks all the ice because he prays and asks Jesus to make him not lame for just this one time.  Now Chozen is way pissed off because he lost.  Later on, Daniel is getting ready to hit the town with this girl he met and Miyagi tells him that if he gets into a fight (because Miyagi knows that Daniel gets the shit beat out of him everywhere he goes), hit the other guy in the balls.  Solid advice.  So, Daniel is 50's dancing with the Japanese girl, which, why is everything in this place about 3 decades behind the rest of the world?  When they get done dancing, Chozen rolls in to take his money back from Daniel.  Daniel, hits him in the balls and keeps his money.  Later that night, Chozen shows up at the Miyagi house with his gang and they vandalize the dojo with spears.  They also break a bunch of potted plants for some reason.  Daniel walks outside and then gets beat up a bunch before Miyagi comes over and rescues him as usual.  Overall this fight scene was pretty terrible.         

The next day, Daniel and his new Japanese girlfriend get married by doing some stupid tea drinking ceremony.  When they get finished, Daniel puts on a Peter Cetera song and gets ready to make it with his new wife.  Just as they start to get naked, they hear a gong go off which means that a tornado has touched down.  They run back to the village and go into a bomb shelter with everyone else.  Chozen comes to the shelter too and says that is uncle Sato is dead because he got hit by the tornado.  Miyagi goes to look for Sato and finds him, alive, trapped underneath a log.  Miyagi rares back to chop the log in two when Sato, in possibly the best line of the movie, yells out "I knew you were a bitch-faced coward. I'm trapped and you're going to chop my face off!".  Miyagi, of course, just chops the log and then drags Sato to the shelter.  Then, Daniel sees that a little girl is on top of a telephone pole for some reason and is about to get tornado-crushed.  He runs out to save her and all the villagers think he's so awesome for this, but we all know that he's still just lame-ass Daniel.  Now Sato is way thankful that Miyagi saved his life using karate on that tree so he says that the village can have a dance at this castle that he owns.   

At the castle dance, everyone is smiling way too much and drinking alcohol out of the same jug that just gets passed around.  Then, Daniel's new Japanese wife says she wants to do a solo dance.  So, she's dancing for everybody when Chozen shows up and does some serious butterfly knife tricks right before he threatens to stab her.  Daniel wants to do something but he is so scared.  Finally, Chozen tells Daniel that they will have to fight to the death because of that time he cheated the villagers on those carrots and also because Daniel punched him in the balls that other time.  Daniel knows that he's about to get karate-killed.  You may be asking why Miyagi is going to let Daniel go get his face kicked off.  The answer is that Miyagi hates Daniel just as much as everyone else does.  So, Daniel and Chozen start to battle.  At first, Daniel thinks he's going to win by doing this incredibly stupid kick that worked on Johnny in part one.  Chozen is all like "You are fucking terrible at karate and that is the dumbest kick move I've ever seen".  Then he beats the shit out of Daniel for like five minutes.  Just as Daniel is about to die, Myiagi and all the villagers pull out those stupid drums that make people good at karate.  Now Daniel starts to win the fight.  Eventually, and much to our dismay, Daniel has Chozen on the ground.  Daniel asks him if he wants to live or die and Chozen chooses die because he'd otherwise have to go through life knowing that he got totally owned by the worst person ever.  Instead of putting him out of his misery, Daniel honks his nose and then leaves.  I'll say that again, HE. HONKS. HIS. DAMN. NOSE.  This is literally the dumbest finishing move ever.         

So that's it.  Somehow Daniel beat up a far superior man again.  There is no doubt that Daniel will continue to be terrible forever.