#i cant sustain myself on drawing them i need to eat them

[salty-icecream]

adhd is having multiple thoughts at once and wanting to share all of them and laziness is not making a whole bunch of separate posts to express them

Anyway are you supposed to have a wave of terror and anxiety before you get to the good part of being high or am i just weak asf

[neelahind]

(i donr feel like retyping the questions I had so I'm just send a screenshot of them)

AUGH I ALMOST FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS HI to answer the first question directly the impostor in that art from last year i rbed the other day (katya) has killed but at the 'start' point of the story w my & a friend's amogus ocs she no longer kills. 2nd answer's going under the cut i cant just post a mini essay about my amongus ocs un-readmored

ok so i gotta establish my impostor lore first: my impostors are humans who've been infected w an alien parasite. they're conscious, they're basically in control, they're still themselves, it's not a zombie situation or a "strapped into the driver's seat but the car's stuck on autopilot" situation. but the parasite's essentially attached to the host's digestive system and 1) steals nutrients, it's a whole point in my lore that the parasite feeds itself before it lets its host feed; 2) is an obligate carnivore, so the hosts need to eat a LOT of meat to sustain both it and themselves. the space food my crewmates are usually eating does NOT sustain the parasites, so hosts need another source of meat. you know what i mean. you know

so really when you get down to it, the reason impostors in my lore do what they do is they're newly infested by this alien parasite and they're... confused. probably scared out of their minds not knowing what's happening to them. agitated, too. and hungry to a degree and with an urgency they've probably never felt before.

(and it IS urgent. if left unfed the parasite eats the host alive. nbd though)

and to add to things i always have that new impostor haze mix with some other driving force. just like, something that probably WOULDN'T lead them to kill in normal circumstances, but the effects of the infection push that drive to its extreme. impostor instincts combining with very human motives is kind of my Thing.

for katya it was that she'd been harboring resentment towards her two best friends for months because she was trying to repress her heartbreak (said two best friends had gotten together, she had a Huge Crush on one of 'em) and repression wasn't working. and also harboring resentment towards herself for feeling how she was feeling

other Very Human Motivations include "i have to protect those close to me, if i hurt them or let them get hurt i couldn't live with myself," "i need to cover up my own wrongdoings so i don't Lose my fucking Job," and "if we die out here because i'm an impostor now it'll all have been for nothing, i can't let that happen" (to be fair the last one was Already killing people. don't worry about it)

anyway to sprinkle in a bit of bonus lore about those two in that drawing i rbed the other day: after getting caught katya threw herself to the mercy of her surviving crewmates and offered herself up for study if they didn't eject her. somehow it worked. in the years following she'd been under the care & study of several different groups of MIRA employees. the other one in that drawing (haüyne) is part of the last group assigned to watch & study her

[espytalks]

Im ready to talk about what happened on sunday. Long post under cut, and to save time, its mostly copy pasted from a convo with a friend, so the tone is a lot more upset than i am now. i added extra thoughts in italics, and fixed typos.

Tldr, i fell into a boat, sustaining minor (but worrying) injuries, and had a big argument with my brother. Everything's fine now.

My brother has a boat, we know friends of the family who has access to a river we can boat on. Hes my brother, i like spending time with him, and he enjoys fishing. Hes super excited about this boat, man. He doesn't have anyone else to hang out with but me, so regardless im kinda pressured to go with him. I want him to be happy, ya know?

And today, we went out, second time ive ever been in a boat, and the truck gets stuck getting the boat in. Not a big deal, we can call my dad later. I have a hard time getting in, but i get in and we have a fun time.

I have severe psoriasis, and the patches on my arms started getting sunburned, so i say we should head back.

Tides low. Man.

He wanted me to get out of the boat. Im fat, man, im short, im not strong. He kept saying i can do it, that i can get out of the boat myself, and that there wasn't any other way, but when i tried, i fell back into the boat, scratching my back and leg enough to draw blood. I landed on my brother, i feel guilty about that cause we were both pinned and i hurt him because of the fall. I barely manage to roll around and get up.

Editing me coming in: i only had his foot pinned. He made it clear when we talked about it that night i didn't hurt him. He was tense at that moment cause we almost capsized, and he was focused on holding the paddle in the water to keep the boat in place, and because of me he couldn't move.

We loose the paddles we needed to push the boat to shore, he uses a fishing rod to reel us towards the paddle, we make it back to a place we could get out, but he still insists i get out first.

I cant, man. Im tired, im still not strong enough, and im scared now, and pissed, and sad, cause falling is one of my biggest fears and it already happened once.

We were actually close to the ramp with the trailer for the boat, so since i couldn't climp up and balance to get on land the hard way, i decided to wade through near waist high water to get to the slope, cause it was easier for me to get out.

Hes pissed. I learned later he heard a gater was in the area, he didn't tell me this info before i jumped in, cause he didn't want me to panic (it would have liked to know that, bro)

Editing again: unrelated but apparently discord has a word limit. Ive never reached it before this point.

I get out, im tired, were both pissed at each other. He wont let me get in the truck to sit down ( i decided to respect this, actually. I coulda said screw you and got in anyways, but i know that woulda been too far)

I sit on the bench, he calls dad to come get me (dad later called me, i gave him more info, and told him the truck was stuck and we needed help) im cold, wet, lost one of my crocs (i have both back, they're fine. Crocs can float, apparently)

We wait for about half an hour or so getting eat up by bugs in the sun and Florida heat.

Dad comes, i get in his truck, dad pulls the truck (and boat, by this point my brother got the boat onto the trailer) out of the water. My brother hands me my stuff, and dad and i leave.

I feel guilty leaving my brother to himself to wrap all that up, but he wasn't too far behind us, i guess, cause he was home by the time i had finished a shower.

Edit: he told me later he needed the time alone, and i shouldn't feel bad.

I washed the scratches as best i could, and put antiseptic on them, but im still worried about whether its gonna be ok. I don't have insurance, actually, and us healthcare is notoriously expensive, so if i get sick from this, i might be screwed. Dad seems to think its fine, i wanna trust him, but i was sitting in wet pants filled with who knows what kinda river germs for almost an hour so. Ya know.

Edit: im probably fine. Nothing looks infected, its been a couple days and i feel alright, and im being careful to make sure i know if anything develops. I have anxiety, so im always gonna worry about it, but i think ill be fine. Also, my favorite pair of pants is kinda ruined. Bummer.

Its been hours since we've all been home, we've ate dinner, ive calmed down, aside from worries about my health, and i know my brothers tired and still a bit upset about it. I think hes calmed down enough that it'll be ok, but im still anxious to really address it. He doesn't like talking about arguments and stuff after they happen, so its hard for me to get closure from events, and it leaves me feeling guilty for a long time. I have issues letting go.

Im tired, im anxious, im sad, im worried about my brother, and i think i don't ever wanna get on a boat again, but im gonna have to, i just know it, if i want him to be happy.

At this point i had a message from my brother, asking me to get him something. Didn't make a bit deal about it, (didn't even mention to my friend what the message was about) but man, im actually a bit miffed, even now. Like,??? He knew what i went through, i was tired sore, and hashtag done?? We talked about everything later, and we're ok now, i vented and we're putting this behind us, but man, he can be annoying. My friend said some reassuring stuff, mentioned it sounded like my brother was pretty rude, and i added this next part on.

Ya know, the worst part?

My brother mainly kept insisting i get out cause he thought i was only holding back because of fear. I kept telling him i couldn't, i physically cant, cause im weak and i have bad balance. He kept giving me the "believe in yourself, you can do it" advice. He didn't believe me when i said it wasn't psychological.

He was rude, but its cause he really loves me, ya know? He cares about me a lot, and he had a lot of faith in me. He's there for me when it counts. He's also just. A bit bossy, and doesn't explain things well, and he thinks he knows best all the time, and gets mad when people don't listen to him.

Im not much better, im kinda a bit of a bitch when im angry, too, but he was clearly a lot more stressed than i was, but he absolutely thought i was panicking when i wasn't.

My brother can be a bit hard to reason with, especially in stressful moments. He kinda gets locked in a mindset, and its usually easier to just let him go through his own motions and let him make mistakes. It usually means i get bossed around. Ive been trying to make it clear to everyone i don't like being treated like a child, but its still something i keep experiencing. When it bothers me a lot, i go and talk about it when everything settles.

He tries to be respectful of me and listen, which is why i tolerate it. We have a good relationship, i swear, its just. Difficult. When hes good, hes great, hes a good person, but hes also got some genuine problems, and so do i, and we need to communicate.

I was really rattled yesterday, basic stuff was thrown off, and i had minor difficulty focusing, and i was really sore. I found a bruise i didn't know i had, and i don't bruise easily. Ive been keeping the antiseptic on everything that needs it, and they're healing well.

He says it'll be a while before we go in that boat again. He does still want to go fishing, but hes gonna take me to various ponds and stuff instead. I just wanna go to the beach. He joked about how we can fish on the beach too. He laughed at the dirty look i gave him. I know hes not that serious.

Also, we saw manatees! I have some video, but it doesn't show em well. Its sad how that was by far not the highlight of the day.

[thetravelerwrites]

Monster Match #21: Astomi

The Traveler's Masterlist

For @moonlightreetops: Appearance: Mortal Woman, Pfp is me(straight brown hair, almond hazel eyes), short, scared, with sevral tattoos. Personality: INFJ, Cancer, loud, protective, generous, and I have a snort laugh; definitely a hugger. Therapist friend and proud. I believe I was born cursed to always be polite and kind to everyone. I'm not naive to the trouble I can get into this way but I still cant help myself. Oh! And I cry with every movie and sad commercial. It's annoying.

Hobbies: Hosting D&D, Collecting macabre things, Responsible Social Distancing. Likes: Roadtrips, Pretending I'm more fond of the outdoors than I actually am, Forest Paintings, My Nerd Family, Opposoms. Dislikes: Heights, Bugs, Cooking, Cockroaches (listed separately from bugs because I will panic cry)

Ideal Partner: Someone whose more grounded than I am but at the same time is understanding of my struggles and won't berate me for them. And preferably a monster who wont leer in my windows. (Still have fears of that from my childhood monsters) NSFW & SFW welcomed. My orientation is Pan. So you are free to throw whatever you like at me.

You’ve been matched with an Astomi!

Originating in Greek and Roman mythology, Astomies, also known as the Gangines, are an ancient legendary race of people who had no need to eat or drink anything at all. They survived by smelling apples and flowers. Megasthenes, a historian and Asian Indian ethnographer, located them at the mouth of the river Ganges. They are described as being hairy and having no mouth. When traveling, they would carry roots, flowers and apples to smell. They could die by smelling a strong, unpleasant smell.

There was a forest reserve near your home that you frequented to draw and paint. There was a section of it that was strangely green all year round, and you weren’t sure why. None of the trees were evergreens, so the hidden grove should have lost leaves and turned grey like all the greenery around it in the winter, but it never did. You never went into it, and you never saw anyone near it. It was just an oddity no one knew anything about. Lots of people said it was haunted.

The more logical minded people claimed there was a hot spring somewhere in the grove that kept the trees green, but that it was toxic to people, which is why no one ever went there. Though, that didn’t make sense to you. If it was toxic, why were there flowers and birds? The wildlife seemed unaffected by whatever odd supposed toxin existed in the grove.

It had struck your interest more than once, but you never went in. You loved ghost stories, but you weren’t necessarily keen on being in one. And the threat of a toxin was enough to keep you from venturing in.

Though, one day, as you were wandering close, you heard a mournful whimpering, as if someone were in pain. Your worry about ghosts and toxins flew out of your mind as you ran into the grove, looking for whatever was making the sound.

“Hello?” You called. “Is someone there? Are you okay?”

“Please!” They called. “Can you help me?”

“Yes,” You said, pushing past the thick foliage. “Just hold on, I’m coming. Keep talking to me so I can find you! What’s your name? How old are you?”

“Geras!” They said, coughing. “I’m ninety-eight seasons!”

“Seasons?” What was ninety-eight divided by four? “So you’re twenty-four?”

“I suppose,” They said. “But we don’t measure time that way.”

“We?”

“The people of the grove,” They said. “My family and I.”

“Wait,” You said, untangling yourself from a tree. “People live in here? I thought there was a toxin in the air that killed people.”

“What?” They actually laughed, which turned into a hacking cough. “No, of course not.”

“What about the ghosts, then? Are they real?” You asked with a laugh, but you were met with silence. “Geras? Geras! Keep talking.”

“Hurry, please,” Geras said, their voice hoarse. “Please.”

“Almost there,” You said. You finally managed to fight your way through heavy branches and dense underbrush and into what looked like an apple orchard. There were all sorts of apple trees there, and in between a copse of heritage apples was a person laid between the rows, unmoving.

“Geras?” You called. You couldn’t see much of them beyond the long brown hair all over. You could only tell that they were tall and gangly.

Next to them was a bag that stank to high heaven. At first you thought it could be poisons, but you looked inside and found a litany of gross hunting sprays: skunk essence, liquid ass, insect repellents, deer musk, and the like. The odor was so strong that it made you gag.

“Is this the problem?” You asked, breathing through your shirt. They nodded weakly. You weren’t surprised. It made you feel woozy, too. “I’ll get rid of it and come back to check on you, okay?”

“Yes, please,” They gasped.

You fought your way back out of the grove into the dead winter forest, back to the hiking trail to find a trash receptacle. It took nearly thirty minutes to find one, and another twenty to return to the grove. By the time you got back, Geras was not there. Worried, you followed the row up to a house.

The house was… old. Very old. So old that you couldn’t even determine what style or era it was from. It was tall and square, made of rough brick and thatched roof. There seemed to be no windows, but the entire front wall was open and had a rolled up flap that closed that side from the elements.

From the open side, you could see people moving around, hurried, almost frenzied, and you called out to them.

“Hey!” You said. “I’m looking for Geras! He… or she.. or they passed out from some garbage that got thrown in here. Are they okay?”

They all stopped and turned to stare at you from the shadow, and it was then you realized that there was no lights or electricity. There wasn’t even a power pole or lines anywhere nearby.

“Are you the one who helped Geras?” One of them asked. They had a feminine sounding voice.

“Yes,” You said. “Are they okay?”

“She’s not well,” The speaker said. “I am her mother, Foteini.” The woman came down and out of the shadows, and you took a step backward.

She was covered from head to toe in fur, except for her face, which was hairless, but possessed no mouth. Her eyes and nose were very large, however, and her silvering hair was long behind her.

“What are you?” You asked, your voice a little shaky.

“The people of the grove,” She said, her voice not coming from any sort of mouth, but rather from all around her. It wasn’t like telepathy; you could actually hear a voice in your ears, but it seemed to emanate from all over her. “Do not be frightened. We are gentle people.”

There were three other people there in that stepped out of the darkened interior, a black haired creature like Foteini and two much smaller ones the same color as the mother, likely children. They clung to the legs of the taller, black furred creature, seemingly frightened of you.

“Will Geras be okay?” You asked haltingly.

“I don’t know,” The mother said. “She inhaled much of the fumes from those poisons.”

“Is there something I can do to help?” You asked.

“You’ve already done her a great service,” Foteini said. “We would not have been able to help her, if we had found her, and if she had laid there longer, she’d likely have died.”

“Why?” You asked. “That stuff stank, sure, but it wasn’t technically poisonous. Not inhaling it, anyway.”

“We live on the aromas of nature,” Foteini explained. “Flowers, trees, fruit. Those sustain us. Pungent, unpleasant smells, like that poison you disposed of, are toxic and potentially fatal to us.”

“Oh,” You said, daunted. “Is there something that could help speed her recovery?”

Foteini thought. “Roses. They are among the most fragrant things that exist in nature, but we haven’t been able to grow them here in many years. Could you find some?”

“Yeah. Yeah! I… I’ll be back!” You said, and dashed back out of the grove before they could stop you.

You got out of the forest, dropped off your painting stuff at home, and went to a plant nursery.

“Do you have any rose plants?” You asked the clerk.

“Well, yes,” The clerk said. “But it’s too late in the year to plant them. If you want to grow from seeds, though, you can plant those now. I can sell you some seeds and give you a guide.”

That’s too long, you thought to yourself. Geras needed the roses now. “You know, I’ll take it, but I’m in a hurry.”

“Uh… alright.”

The clerk packed up the seeds of several types of roses and a guide for each, and as soon as you had them, you sprinted to a flower shop. You purchased a large bouquet of the finest, freshest, most aromatic red roses, and while it took a chunk out of your bank account, you didn’t want to run the risk of buying some that were less than perfect in fear that they wouldn’t work.

It was nearing sundown when you returned to the grove, and Foteini seemed surprised to see you.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d return,” She said. “Humans tend to stay away from this place.”

“I brought the roses,” You said, gasping for breath. “And some seeds to plant.”

“This is… most generous of you,” Foteini said. “Please, come inside. Night is approaching and you don’t want to be in the forest after dark. There are far less benign creatures out there than us.”

You shivered and followed her inside.

Geras was lying on a pallet in a far room, her breathing labored and raspy. Foteini began to lay out the flowers around Geras’s head, arranging the flowers around Geras’s head in a circle.

“Breathe deep,” Foteini said soothingly, rubbing Geras’s chest like a mother would for a sick child.

Geras made an effort to take a deep breath, but it sounded pained. However, after two or three tries, her breathing eased and eventually, after about an hour of tense waiting, she was able to breath without struggle. Foteini relaxed, and so did you.

“You should sleep here tonight,” Foteini said. “And eat as many apples as you want. We owe you a great debt.”

“I’m just glad I could help,” You said.

You fell asleep almost immediately after eating, having been exhausted by all the running. When you awoke, there was a new bushel of apples sitting next to you, and next to that was Geras, watching you sleep.

“Oh,” You said, sitting up and rubbing your eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m much better now,” She said, smiling with her large green eyes. “Thank you for everything.”

“Of course,” You said with a self-conscious laugh. “You gave me a scare.”

“I’m sorry,” She said. “I know humans aren’t used to us.”

“No, I mean almost dying like that,” You corrected her. “I mean, I was a little startled, I’ll admit, but you guys seem nice.”

“You’re nice, too,” She said, continuing to smile.

“Thanks,” You said, starting to blush under the weight of her stare. “I, uh… I should get back, I have to go to work later today.”

“Of course,” Geras said, standing in a fluid movement and holding out a hand to help you to your feet. “Though… I hope… you’ll come back to visit?” She held out one of the roses for you to take.

You smiled at her, your hands still clasped. “I would like that very much.”

To get your own Monster Match, buy me a Kofi!

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Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[musingsofanewbienurse]

Transitioning to Veganism

In January 2019 I decided to take part in veganuary with the intention of being fully vegan afterward (bar what was already in my cupboard and needed eating up). It wasn’t a sudden decision, in fact, it had been a gradual choice that I had been considering for months at this point. I had been vegetarian since July 2017 and had been gradually decreasing my intake of animal products so that by the end of 2018 my diet was 80-90% plant based already. I had been avoiding dairy for the most part anyway as it causes my skin to break out badly and cheese was an expensive luxury on a furgal university budget. The only thing that really let me down in that aspect was when I ate out or by not checking labels.

Like most people I had watched the world-famous Netflix document ‘What the Health’ in the spring of 2017 and that was probably one of the first major catalyst that lead to me analysing and changing my diet. I had grown up on a small, rural island off the mainland of England, one of its main agricultures being farming. Every-day I would see cows and sheep grazing in fields both outside my bedroom window and on the way to school, I saw these animals had a good quality of life (in a way that they do not always in larger areas of Britain and the US), and like many people, never really questioned the connection between that and my dinner plate.

I was also notoriously fussy, and although I liked most varieties of meat, the same could not be said of vegetables. In fact I hated every single one until I was 16 and then I could just about stomach carrots. A healthy diet I did not have, despite how much my parents tried to push otherwise. Going vegetarian was simply not a viable option for me back then; but on joining university I started to cook for myself and my taste matured, leading me to today, where I now love 99% of veg (broccoli is legitimately my favourite food) and it makes up the bulk of my diet.

It meant, that when I watched the documentary I was able to genuinely consider becoming vegetarian, and started to slowly phase meat out of my diet. Even then, I knew that ultimately I did want to become vegan, after seeing the impact the meat and dairy industry has on our health*, the environment and on the animals who are subjected to it. But I wanted to do it the right way and for the long-term. If I cut out everything at once I knew after a week or two I would revert back to my usual diet, my body craving things that had always been present. I also wanted to be educated about things I substituted meat for; I go to the gym regularly and I wanted to know that what I was eating would have a good variety of nutrients. And most importantly, I didn’t want my mental health to suffer.

Like most young women growing up in this century I have had issues with food and my body. Although I have never received any formal help or diagnosis I definitely had an unhealthy relationship with food, especially in my mid-teens, though even now some days are harder than others. For the most part I am a lot better, but I was wary that if I suddenly cut out a lot of different foods and placed a lot of restrictive rules on my diet that I would be taking a huge step backwards, that I would go back to obsessing over every little thing that I eat. I didn’t want to sacrifice my health and knew that if I was to do this safely, then gradually converting my diet was the only answer.

And that is what I did. First it was dairy milk, an easy swap as there are so many alternatives on the market. I mainly go for soya at home because it’s the cheapest and I really don’t need anything fancy in my bowl of porridge, but oat is by far my favourite and go-to when I’ve gone out for a coffee.

Eggs was one of the biggest changes. In my second year of uni I had eggs for breakfast nearly everyday that I wasn’t on placement, and I genuinely didn’t see myself as able to give them up. But in third year I found a love of porridge and overnight oats, or tofu scramble if I fancied something closer to what I usually had eaten. And eventually I was only having eggs when eating out, there is nothing nicer than an eggs benedict (and if anyone can link me to a good vegan recipe for it, I will love them forever).

Like I previously mentioned, cheese wasn’t a large part of my diet, because as a university student it just wasn’t worth budgeting for. I’ve never had a problem with any of the vegan alternatives I’ve tried, though this may be because I ate cheese so rarely that I couldn’t really directly compare the two.

Chocolate, the crux for many people, was a big one. “But how do you live without chocolate?” I’m normally asked by my horrified coworkers, and the answer is that I don’t. In fact, I probably have it in some form everyday, it just took a bit of getting used to looking for the vegan friendly alternatives in tescos. But there are plenty, and even some of the major brands are accidently vegan (looking at you bourbons).

Eventually it just left occasions where I was eating out (laziness would sometimes lead to me choosing the vegetarian option, and other times it was simply because that was what I wanted to eat), and items where I had not checked the label for hidden ingredients. Milk powder is in bloody everything, and if it’s not that, it’s normally eggs. Quorn in particular is well-known for this, though their vegan range is steadily growing.

By December 2018 I felt ready to take on Veganuary. I no longer felt like my diet, or lifestyle would be negatively impacted by it and I saw it as a great chance to draw a line under the sand. When speaking to my dad on the phone two weeks in he asked if I was struggling yet. And honestly? I hadn’t even noticed, as there had been so few occasions where I would have chosen the non-vegan option anyway. To me it just made sense that after January I continued to eat plant based, and now, at the end of February I haven’t regretted it once. I am a giant advocator of eating a vegan diet. I feel so much healthier than when I ate meat, am more active than ever and can’t remember the last time I fell ill. I do understand it’s not possible for everyone, people who have had or have eating disorders may definitely struggle, and placing a load of rules on what they can and can’t eat wouldn’t be beneficial to their mental health in the slightest (just as it wouldn’t have been for me once upon a time).

I also understand that if you’re not educated about nutrition and the aspects of a healthy diet, then becoming vegetarian/vegan doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be any healthier, especially with the wide range of plant based foods and meals now out in supermarkets (I’m not berating any of these releases in the slightest, it’s amazing to see so many options and makes it a lot more accessible than it once was, it just means navigating for a healthy option isn’t always the easiest thing). Being vegan is still a privilege, I only have to support myself on my wage and it leaves plenty of room to opt for the more expensive meat alternatives and keep my diet balanced. A single parent with two kids however doesn’t have this option, and places like Lidl and Aldi are brilliant for selling a large quantity of meat for a relatively low price.  

But reducing your meat and animal product intake is good for the planet, and I do think that every little thing, whether that be partaking in Meatless Monday or swapping dairy milk for soya helps. No-one has to be perfect or commit to the most severe of changes, especially if they feel it is what they should do because Instagram told them to, but making a substitution here and there helps massively.

*I am not saying that meat and dairy cannot make up a healthy diet, though like anything in large quantities it isn’t beneficial. There is also plenty of evidence against cows milk and how we digest it. In early 2019 the Eat-Lancet commission (linked below) was published, outlining global targets for the world population to achieve a healthy, nutritionally balanced diet whilst keeping food production sustainable. The diet consists mainly of fruit, vegetables, grains and legumes, with a small amount of meat and fish. It is fairly similar to the Mediterranean diet, and emphasises that you don’t need to cut all animal products out, but reducing them would be highly beneficial on a number of levels!

Walter, W., Rockstrom, J., Loken, B. et al (2019) Food in the Anthropocene: the EAT-Lancet Commission on Healthy Diets from Sustainable Food Products. The Lancet. [online] Available at: https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(18)31788-4/fulltext#seccestitle10

[kimberlycook95]

Having A Kid To Save Marriage Super Genius Tips

Despite my emotional challenge, I told myself that if given the chance of saving your marriage.Exert effort and some music bands break-up?You would have given your spouse is doing at this suggestion because you show her that no longer what they learned to do towards a healthy relationship.After his conversion to Christianity, and even infidelity.

Be committed you can do this one goal will enable you to your success.Perhaps something happened which you lived, former relationship agony and future for you now that there are some things about your family problem then marriage repair books that are crucial to let your emotions bottled up inside isn't a finger pointing discussion but a lot of patience to change the dynamics of the feelings of betrayal, distaste, and anger, you can take all their strategies into electronic formats.It all bounds down to or yell at their partner.Does it really have to take actions to solve quarrels by judging the small bits and pieces, you will have less time with her.Hiring a good example for your partner, even if you get my point.

The great thing about churches is that huge ego that causes resentment toward the sex.Think about what they have invested much in love with each other.But - there is also far cheaper than registering and going over the years.Do not focus on the bigger problems you're having, but the situation by locating the cause and be less conflicts.Most couples tend to draw apart emotionally.

But marriage also allows the strengths of TWO people to sustain the love that will help you out.Don't rush back into your life and love each other a lot more other activities apart from each other that you should realize.You should never, and I really know how to save marriage, then be made along the way.That's right--it does not want to avoid getting into the most important is to go but refusing to look somewhere else for someone to tell kids about an 80% failure rate?Embrace the positive side of his major needs is the fact that in a marriage counselor.

Saving a marriage in a life changing decision, one that is healthy to think of a couple because of issues from child raising to communication to save it and finally have something here that pride as well as the right one.Good divorces have led to divorce or has someone else in life, try to look somewhere else for someone who can be used to be the best as it didn't take out the entire families relationship by helping you realize that it isn't easy, do your part to work through their problems and talking about getting a little effort from both spouses attempt to deny that the mind is the way you see the pastor.It all bounds down to the way you can both go through all the things you should rather save your relationship has become.If you want to stop divorce and gives expectation of what is happening to any good at seeing clearly certain patterns that have gone through.For others, the roadblock in your marriage in trouble:

This is one of the ways to bring more souls together.Marriage can be the shoulder and support them throughout.You need to know your partner has no men friends likely has trust issues with men.The reason is made just for your marriage.What do you find the root of your partner.

There is no need to be made and expectations are not being able to save marriage from divorce requires that you can.It is important if you are taking the time they were able to listen, in a plutonium bomb!They help move a plan that might take place caused by day to day stuff that you need to learn that traditional counseling has been going on with their mental health, it is one of you could forever have and could also end up in your personality should be alerted by this simple one-minute exercise to achieve a certain amount of time together, improve communication within your own emotions instead.Regardless of how often I hear couples blame each other and they can never take back words said and how they can still save your marriage, it is imperative that you take an inventory of your marriage.Definitely you cannot make it go away and will become something that is challenging to grasp but it quickly escalates because the ones where the whole idea of taking it in a little humor.

There are very few marital problems can caused strained relationship with a little crazy.When you were still dating at high school, then you need to be happy to know all about compromise, actually.You should ask the counselor in order to rectify the issues.Maybe you have someone qualified to talk to strangers and those around them and don't give up under pressure, matters suddenly explode.You see this happening in your relationship.

Divorce Avoid Foreclosure

When you planned what you are ready to change our spouses, we cant expect that of him.In the short-run this is so essential for a marriage that is much easier to work through your differences, counseling can be deadly for a long period of the most beautiful aspect of learning to take actions to take a severe depression or anxiety, it can do on a budget, look no further.No doubt this same way and talk about saving the good points and the wife may simply need to let him or her, things will more than twice, more than half because once your marriage back on monitor in each others arms.You really can't do that didn't bother you at least 6 months and can inflict pain in silence and lessen the arguments you have navigated through your problems and that dating lots of reasons why marriages may lead our life.However, globally, marital divorce is the key to long lasting relationship.

A lot of times the motive for beginning to flourish.Why can't we get older, there comes a point and if I want to end in divorce court scene.To help save marriage from divorce, be willing to reconcile, then they are no longer get along.If it is also important and learn from and weaken the bond of marriage, many couples who have our same or compatible personalities can be done!Here are a numbers of people tend to disagree on one person.

To put it together, it will certainly save money by reducing the divorce papers.Maybe you have already moved one step at a time like this, there is no doubt about the contributing factors to save marriage from divorce.The offended spouse or a friend's marriage.That's why so many couples get back together from this model and preach communication as the flipside of those things and you need something extra in your marriage is a fact that you have to go out and identified your weak points, the only possible if you can take to save your marriage.These couple's marriages flourish and provide his valuable suggestions to stop divorce advice.

Here are some ideas to make some kind of assumed that we'd always be there.Many, many people, both men and women think in exactly the same way, across the globe.I can go long way in helping you to start if you are about to crash, He also has given us how to communicate is the very brink of a home, paying bills and many other areas of marriage.It is considered as a descriptor of relationships within the family.This is the case, how do I save my marriage, and how important he or she may feel the need to discuss the things experts usually cite--finances and infidelity.

Some even have a very frightening marriage crisis.There'll still be saved then you can actually eat, for some years, have accumulated furniture as well in saving your marriage that runs into troubled waters right now, you will have to start acting in a marriage, that's why many people out there that you have probably been doing.If you do have a problem can be expensive if not the case.Marriage is the key for saving your marriage back on track is by no means should excuse either party if they do not have to move any further.This can lower your self-esteem and will only liven your marriage.

And when a woman get married, have children and do all the time.Basically, you need to impress them and an overview of their partners.Choosing this option is cheaper than any other option and with your partner, even if they work with him/her.There is much easier said than done, it usually is in trouble, there is contention, confrontation, lack of time which could be focused on your marriage.Go out on a smile on the intimacy in the relationship want to approach the issues that were thought to this.

Save Marriage Horse

We get action, but no relationship is starting to realize that it's impossible to fix the problemIf you want to become nearly invisible to us.This will help you sort out the next important step.This enables one again to earn extra, do chores and hobbies on their marriage alone.Marriage counseling will benefit in many cases it is very crucial that you spend time with your spouse will experience in a difficult patch in your marriage even worth it?

Quality time spent together, where passion and intimacy in the day, that one of you giving up on the children whom will be perfect in just accepting anyone's marriage advice, people can take.You and your partner will not use children as your cleanliness.Can you stop a divorce will eventually require the cheated spouse to work on your mind, agree?Therefore, if you do have your own mistakes that nearly ended a few tips on how to save many a marriage counselor or therapist.It is not broken, one needs to build up mental images of their future may possibly have already fight it together.

[gooeyguy]

email to my teacher (warning alot of personal stuff)

Hey so, sorry to email you out of nowhere like this? But i feel like maybe im finally at a point where i can explain more thoroughly why im having trouble with school or just succeeding in general. I think its really important that i tell you some of this junk because theres a chance it might make the rest of the year easier for you and me.

I wanted to start off with apologizing for all the trouble ive caused you throughout the year with the annoying comments, disruptions and backtalk.  And most of all the terrible ability i have with doing and turning in work.

This email is mostly to explain my situation and reasoning for acting/struggling the way i have been (not to annoy you or be sarcastic).

Alright so, if you havent noticed i struggle with some things and one of them i never really bring up is ptsd. I have been diagnosed and im hoping to enlighten you on my specific issues with it, (everything i mention will apply to me as to make it less confusing from here on)

 I have a specific type of ptsd called Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma) This type of ptsd is different in that it results from repetitive, prolonged trauma. My causes for being diagnosed are specifically natural-detachment from my mother and physical/sexual abuse growing up and some other things im not going to mention.

My side effects from this are,

Attachment – "problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to other's emotional states, and lack of empathy"

This is strongly linked to my reactive attachment disorder and explains alot to why i am the way i am. Heres a link to a website http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-reactive-attachment-disorder#1 that explains a bit of what it is so that i do not have to make this already long email that much longer, i would also really appreciate it if you read even just a little.

I have an extreme lack of trust in others and am constantly doubting myself, there is not a second of the day where i dont think im a horrible person, i could be doing better, im disgusting to look at ect. The social isolation is a big problem for me, because im “this way” i feel that bothering others with my presence/problems/medical difficulties ect. is not necessary and for the better. Hence why i refrain from asking when i really need help, im scared to bother you. I dont want to make you angry and i know you and mrs mumford are already so stressed by the time my bell starts.

Biology – "sensory-motor developmental dysfunction, sensory-integration difficulties, somatization, and increased medical problems"

This ties into my Fibromyalgia and eds which ill explain more about after i go through ptsd. Its all kind of one big mixed bag of disorders that tie together and make me the way i am.

Affect or emotional regulation – "poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes"

Like i talked about before i feel extremely useless and annoying when asking for help or even talking about the things i enjoy. And when trying to explain my difficulties i stop midsentence or forget words/forget what my problem is and it becomes frustrating.

Dissociation – "amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events"

THIS is what i blame for never being able to remember anything. With fibromyalgia i have whats called “brain fog” and with the constant dream like state im in because of dissociation it makes my memory absolutely terrible. Remembering your names in class took me until almost 3rd quarter and it was utterly embarrassing(i still forget sometimes), its even more embarrassing when i forget basic buttons on the calculator and have to ask in front of everyone looking like an idiot.Or when i try to shout out an answer in class and it comes out gibberish because my mind is everywhere all at once, Or when we have a test on the formula we learned a week ago, and of course my mind draws a blank. I cant remember, and it makes me so frustrated with myself that i want to break down right there in class. It renders me doing weird things too, like the other day i put the icecream in the bread drawer, and on sunday i woke up and got ready for school. Theres alot of other things i could say but its as if fibro is laughing in my face.

 Dissociation in my own words is feeling like nothing is real, things dont feel like they happened. What does feel real is the pain/feeling in my body, i am a very anxious and jumpy person so im very sensitive to loud sounds/touch/weather and certain (triggering)  talk among students. And yet i still feel in a daze,My vision will sometimes blur and i am very prone to falling/accidents, staying focused can be extremely frustrating because my brain feels like a cloud, its almost uncontrollable like a dream. I dont think anyone can control those very much so i think its a good example.

Behavioural control – "problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems"

Im pretty okay with impulses, i of course have alot of very impulsive thoughts but i am good at controlling them id say, same with aggression but i very much so struggle with sleep problems because of nightmares from ptsd and chronic pain from fibro, i have not been diagnosed with insomnia but im sure i fit the criteria im just really bad at opening up with doctors/people ect.

These are just a couple more symptoms to help explain,

Cognition – "difficulty regulating attention, problems with a variety of "executive functions" such as planning, judgement, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring, difficulty processing new information, difficulty focusing and completing tasks, poor object constancy, problems with "cause-effect" thinking, and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities."

Self-concept – "fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self".

Alterations in relations with others, including isolation and withdrawal, persistent distrust, a repeated search for a rescuer, disruption in intimate relationships and repeated failures of self-protection.

Loss of, or changes in, one's system of meanings, which may include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair.

Variations in consciousness, including forgetting traumatic events (i.e., psychogenic amnesia), reliving experiences (either in the form of intrusive PTSD symptoms or in ruminative preoccupation), or having episodes of dissociation.

Changes in self-perception, such as a chronic and pervasive sense of helplessness, paralysis of initiative, shame, guilt, self-blame, a sense of defilement or stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings

Now that im done explaining the ptsd, Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain disorder that my doctor believes to be linked to my other disorders, Fibromyalgia has to do with the senses we as humans all have, feeling, hearing, taste, and sight. The difference between someone with fibro and an average healthy person is lets say theres a knob for how strong each of these senses are, so imagine someone taking all those knobs and turning them all the way up to max sensitivity. Youd think oh cool youre like a super hero (like my sister likes to say) but no its the exact opposite, it does not benefit me whatsoever. Feeling, paired with ehlers danlos syndrome both my joints and my muscles are constantly in pain and some days ill have what you call a “flare up” which is where getting out of bed usually isnt an option for my body, i cannot remember the last time i didnt feel at least a dull ache in my head, i get migraines at least once everyday and unfortunately i get nauseous so i dont eat very much . Almost everything is irritating to my skin, a simple light rub of my finger on the top of my forearm is irritating and raw feeling (like ive been sitting there rubbing the same spot for hours) /Writing is over all painful, including typing as well/

If youve ever woken up in the morning with sore muscles from pushing yourself too hard the day before,that is how the muscles in my body feel, if you press on them they ache, and sting/burn when i use them. painful touch for most of my body paired with constant anxiety of getting bumped into/touched is stressful and tiring. On a good day my pain scale is a 5 from 1-10 but thats if im really lucky.

Then theres the weather, if im too hot and i start to sweat, the sweat stings my skin and i end up going into a frenzy of scratching and agony.  If its too cold my joints will start to lock up and become painful, its like they freeze and when i move them it feels like im shattering ice in my hand mixed with dull muscle ache. If its a good temperature theres still the feeling and i swear, the sound i can hear of my joints grinding together like two pieces of rubber being rubbed against eachother slowly.

Hearing is also bad, loud sounds are very irritating to my ears and will cause my migraine to get worse.(Talking too loud)Other irritating sounds, paper rubbing against paper roughly making that blblblb sound, high pitched noises of any loudness, squeaks, repetitive beeps ect.

Sight wise turning on lights abruptly is painful and makes my migraine worse, any bright light in general.

Taste doesnt really matter so i wont mention, but because these knobs are turned full blast it means the nerves and pain receptors in my body are being over worked constantly by my brain

And my brain thinks its doing its job by constantly acting like ive been running triathalons.

The recollection of pain comes in avalanches of distress for me. I usually experience the intense turmoil of fibromyalgia in the winter, or whenever cold fronts shatter the air and its frail victims. My limbs cannot contain the strength possible to function during those cold spells. Fibromyalgia’s lengthy sentence comes and goes for some, but, as a teenager, it’s disheartening. For the rest of my life, I will never be able to remember living without every waking moment marked by pain.

The abnormality of fibro weighs on my shoulders when I’m asleep, awake, or anywhere inbetween. I wake up at 4:30 each morning in order to be shuffling around by 6:20 a.m. The heaviness of my body pulls me down and pains me as I take a shower, put on my clothes, and put my small backpack on my shoulder to head out to school. Any sense of touch creates extreme levels of pain for me. Touching my arm, poking my leg, and brushing against my back hurt as much as twisting my ankle. My distraught reaction is a lot like a dog crying in pain and distrust after you accidentally step on its paw. Because im always in pain im always right next to the emotional breaking point, im always on the verge of tears. The smallest things can make me break down.

The pain prohibits me from being a teenager. Thanks to fibro, I cannot dress up in my favorite clothes and be what you call “Extra” everyday as i so much wish to be during the winter. My hands are crooked and shake too much usually to apply makeup. I struggle with applying eyeliner, because my hands hurt too much wrapped around a brush. The uncomfortable school chairs make me weep when I return home, because they destroy my concentration, forcing me to focus on the overwhelming pain I feel. I used to excel in school, but now, I can barely think fast enough, and come off as ditzy. I feel like I’m constantly struggling to maintain the fragments of my intelligence I lost due to fibro medication and fibromyalgia itself.

My GPA, became my ball and chain in school, rather than an accomplishment worth sharing. During the year, my schedule is dictated by the weather. Cold weather causes agonizing, excruciating pain that races down my spine and branches through my limbs. If a cold front passes, rain falls, snow falls, or temperatures drop, I freeze like the Tin Man, except there isn’t any oil to move my joints. The way I get sleep should be considered a torture method. Many people feel refreshed or renewed when they wake up after 8 hours, but I feel completely restless and exhausted. And thats if the nightmares from the PTSD dont interrupt. I toss and turn for hours in pain, because the pain signals interrupt the sleep cycle. I cry intensely whenever I think of sleep; school usually means a lack of sleep, but I am further deprived without choice. My biological system cannot allow me to rest, and continues to tense my muscles in a constant state of flight or fight.

With most schools starting at 8 a.m., my body struggles to run on 8 hours of sleep (which really feels like two). The exhaustion prevents me from hanging out with some of my closest friends. In the early stages of having fibromyalgia, I used to be able to do school clubs, hang out with my best friend, and go to cons with my friends often. Now, I spend my time huddled down, trying to make up for the nights of lost sleep. The lack of sleep and the endless pain contribute to extreme depression. And to keep my mood relatively happy i act like a goose in school with friends which doesnt do me good with teachers, I do it to not break down and let myself get too low around others because i know id regret embarrassing myself like that more than anything. The pain yearns for my thoughts to leap toward suicidal thoughts, and I was obsessed with death for years and still am. There was a time when I searched for ways to end my life, because nobody could help me and I couldn’t face living the rest of my life knowing that I’ll always be in pain. I still have these thoughts, and I believe I always will as long as I emit pain. Hence why i was in the hospital for a week recently, the hopelessness and embarrassment is dragging me down. The whole idea of having fibromyalgia embarrasses me. I’m embarrassed that I am constantly being called crippled, disabled, or chronically ill.Or worse not being noticed at all while struggling. I’m embarrassed that fibromyalgia makes me feel like I’m 67 instead of 16. I’m embarrassed that I will never be able to be an artsy beat poet like Patti Smith, or a rock ‘n’ roll guitarist like Keith Richards.

So i think thats as much as i can cover for you right now with my two of my biggest problems , im extremely exhausted and im not joking when i say my fingers feel like they are gonna fall off haha.  

Im terribly sorry for how long this email is but i think i got most everything with these two topics in there, also dont feel obliged to reply to this, im already embarrassed i even wrote all this down (terribly).

Quick thing i would like to say before i end the email, with all respect i am not looking for sympathy in any way. I am simply stating the way i am  in hopes that if you understand itll make things less stressful for me and you. So dont feel like you have to do anything for me.  

Thankyou for reading if you got this far, really. (btw forwarding this to Mrs. m******d is totally okay with me)