#i couldnt hate someone this hard til you told me i get hurt on purpose
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i can say , that whole experience did make me think a little different
#didnt think it was possible but i broke outta at least sum of it.#saying i wanna get hurt saying this was my fault because i want to get hurt it made me snap out of it a bit#and i know youll never see this so i can say whatever the eff i want#i wanted you to feel guilt and i got it . and as a bonus i also got to break free of this idolization night mare iv been living in 4 years#its bad that i wanted this but it was also bad all of the countless ways it all came together to fuck me up permanently#i dont care tht youv already forgiven yourself and so did everyone else who knew i dont care#i couldnt hate someone this hard til you told me i get hurt on purpose#so like .... thank u! for that at least. u rlly let me kno tht everyone who i had to convince not to hold u responsible was onto smthin.
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