#i did buy a desk chair and some tableware

[snapefiction]

Antidote - #1

A/N: Chapter 1 of idk how many but I have so many ideas in mind for this! I hope you're as excited as I am and enjoy this short first chapter!💕 all the love!!

❤️ Please remember that English isn’t my native language and that my Writings will include Mistakes and maybe weird formed sentences. ❤️

TW: Death, Swearing, Mention of Bullying, Breakup

Word count: 1092

*#1 Tableware and Tears*

Opening his suitcase he already knew that he didn't had a lot to pack anyways. As his money was still running low and he wouldn't know what to buy from it anyways he just grabbed his Shirts, the Cape his Mother got him and a few Books he relied his knowledge on. It's not much but it's enough, he mumbled and placed the suitcase next to his cabin. He still had a few days off before he'd start his career as a Potions Professor in Hogwarts and to be honest he wasn't too excited about it.

,,I'm sure you'll have fun." He recalled Lily's Voice from the back of his head. She ensured him to accept Dumbledores offer as Severus didn't knew what to do anyways. Shortly after his Mother died he finally graduated and the House that now belonged to the dark haired man seemed way too big for him anyways. So why not moving somewhere else?

His time as a teenager were finally up. The acne that stuck with him for years cleaned up, his voice became hoarse and deep, even deeper than the voice of his much hated and despising Father and over all he felt different. Looking over into the mirror he wiped over his face just to arrange his hair to the sides of his face. His dark eyes seemed to have no end and his pale skin was just underlining this. He now was a young adult and it was visible. He never cared much about his appearance but when he was about to meet her- when it was about her he even used some of the last drips of aftershave that he found in the back of his bathroom shelves.

Severus could never deny that he always had that thing for Lily. Growing up she was his first, only and best friend. She took care of him when firstly his father died, even though the fourteen year old version of himself didn't even cared about his male parent, and later when his mother died in his arms, which hurt him even more. The difference between his parents were that his so called father was the pure disappointment of an aggressive human being and his mother was just a poor woman who fell in love with the wrong man. Feeling some pity in his stomach he felt the same for Lily.Lily, the most beautiful girl he ever laid his eyes on, loving the walking form of idiocy - James Asshole Potter.

Lost in his thoughts he almost forgot the time. He promised Lily to show up around 3 pm by now it was almost past 3:15pm . Without further actions he stepped into the cabin, threw some floo powder and landed at the Evans Residence.

,,Severus." Stepping out of the Cabin he had to take a deep breath to look at her. She always did this to him. Taking his breath away by just calling his name. Spotting he instantly he gave her a small shy smile.

,,I'm sorry that I'm late." Her red hair almost whipped as she walked over him to pat some dirt of his black suit.

,,You're not late at all. Right on time, as always." Now that she stood this close to him he firstly noticed how swollen and puffy her eyes were. How her lips still slightly shook and she kept her gaze down.

,,What happened?" The picture of her in front of him with her broken statue set his body on fire. ,,Did he hurt you?" Instead of answering she just walked over to the kitchen to get the kettle of the desk and carried it over to the living room. Severus took care not to get too close to her but still followed every movement she made.

,,That's why I wrote you." Sniffling she placed a cup next to the seat Severus always used to place and spilled some tea. Out of the habit Severus sat down. Patiently waiting for an answer. If there's one thing Lily couldn't stand then it must be impatience and being forced to something. But he wished for nothing more than that she'd finally spit it out.

Almost falling onto the chair she let out a a small noise as she tried to gasp for some air. ,,We fought. Again." Biting his lower lip he tried not to apparate away in the next second only to beat Potter down. Instead of following his deep desire he clenched his wide hand around the way to small tableware. ,,He wants everything. A Marriage, a child, an own house and I- I can't. I feel like I'm-"

,,Suffocating?" For the first time today her  red eyes met his. Feeling relief she closed her mouth and nodded. Giving her a weak smile he felt sorry.

,,And what happened exactly?" Hating himself for asking about her pain he knew it would make her feel better even if he'd probably suffer even more. Shrugging her shoulders Lily placed her Teacup in front of her.

,,I don't really know anymore. He started with the usual. Why I wouldn't want to marry him yet and how much he hates the idea of wasting time. It was just too much. I told him to leave." Her expression changed from being overwhelmed and confused to shocked. ,,I told him to get lost." Covering her mouth with one hand she was near tears again.

,,You broke up with him?" Severus almost choked on his few drops of tea. Lily just nodded and for a second there was only silence. She really broke up with James Potter? She finally spoke her mind and stood up for herself. A great trait she had lost inside herself over the years. Proud of her he couldn't help it but just stare at her.

,,What am I supposed to do now?" Not wasting a second Severus got up on his feet only to hug her the second he reached her. The same relief that Lily somehow felt got shared by him knowing he she was finally being able to become happy and also he wouldn't have to deal with his long term bully anymore.

,,We'll figure things out." He spoke with confidence. ,,I will always help you out, you know that, right?" Wrapping her arms around his neck she nodded gratefully not being able to hold back her tears anymore. At first she was just feeling lost but now she knew that Severus would be there for him the way she was for him. He truly is her best friend.

to be continued. jan.15

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[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

10 and 13 please please please 😌

@poppy27 and all who requested 10 and 12 here they are! I combined them since they are related. And a bonus slightly creepy but sweet Simon one.

and yes I’m still working on #13. That’s been the most challenging one so far!

10: What sorts of things would they give each other “just because”?

12: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

1.

Baz

One of the particulars I noticed about Snow, that first night in our room, after the Crucible had encumbered me with him (burdened me with his mole-dotted skin, ordinary blue eyes, bronze dusted hair) was how few possessions he had brought to Watford with him.

Worn trainers on his feet. A scant number of ratty t-shirts. A few threadbare trackie bottoms. That fucking red ball.

That was it. Not another bloody thing.

It’s not like I brought much with me. Uniforms, text books, notepads, writing utensils—all were provided to us.

I’d packed some clothes. Pajamas, of course. A few favorite books. A tiny, contraband iPod Fiona had lent me the summer before (discreetly hidden in the depths of my closet, thanks to the Mage’s ludicrous ban on electronics.)

Over the years more items traveled to Watford with me. More books, naturally. Some family photographs (Mordelia was an exceptionally ugly baby) (She’s marginally better now) (it would be devilish hard to look any worse.)

By fifth year there were posters, meticulously confined to my side of the room. Some abysmal drawing Mordelia had made for me that I kept spelled to the wall. A whole shelf of books.

And Fiona’s old lava lamp, for the sheer ridiculousness of it (it was mesmerizing) (and retro) (and I liked to spell it different colours.)

Snow never added anything. Other than larger sizes of the items he’d brought with him initially. And a winter coat. A few nice jumpers, after he started spending Christmases with the Wellbeloves.

No personal effects. No books. No photographs.

At least he got rid of that fucking ball.

It took me years to understand. To realize he went into care every summer, wasn’t with the Mage as I thought. To recognize that he couldn’t afford or even really risk owning anything of value.

It was much the same when I helped him move into the flat with Bunce earlier this year (I did help, no matter what Snow says) (I supervised) (Someone had to.)

Most of their furnishings were tatty cast offs from Bunce’s family home.  Some mystical wall art that she had found in Camden. A mismatched selection of mugs and tableware. Typical uni apartment.

But Snow’s bedroom was so sparse. Just like his side of the room had been at Watford. A bed. A desk. A lamp on a rickety nightstand. A dresser with virtually empty drawers.

Blank walls.

It’s not like that now, no thanks to Snow.

It’s not like he doesn’t have money. Bunce finally convinced him to do something with that sack of leprechaun gold. I took him to a Normal bank, helped him open an account and the bank helpfully converted the gold to legal tender.

It’s a tidy sum. Enough for him to indulge himself a bit.

He doesn’t.

So, I do.

It started before he moved to London. Those weekends second term, when I would visit him at the Bunces.

When he was all long silences and thousand-yard stares.

I held his hand and tried to distract him. Dinner dates. Film nights. Clothes shopping.

I bloody adore taking Simon clothes shopping. He has no idea how fucking attractive he is. Buying him fitted shirts and tailored jeans is as much a gift to myself as it is to him.

I can’t help it.

I think of him when he’s not with me.

I’ll walk by a shop and see a shirt that reminds me of the color of his eyes.

Strolling through a bookshop I’ll find a title I actually think he might like.

A peculiar trinket will catch my eye at a street market and I know he’ll be captivated by it.

I buy them all for him.

Even my old lava lamp has taken up residence on his dresser.

Bunce says Simon’s room looks like a tatty shop stall from Spitalfields Market. It looks nothing of the sort. She’s prone to slanderous hyperbole.

What it looks like is home.

2.

Simon

I’m not sure what I love best about living in London. Rooming with Penny. Getting to see Baz every day (and most nights) (almost like when we were roommates) (but better.) Going to uni. Exploring the city. All the food.

The variety of food is astonishing. There’s posh restaurants and so many curry take-out shops. Neighbourhood pubs. All the street markets.

I don’t know if I like Borough Market or Camden Market best. Or Maltby Street. Or Brockley.

I love them all.

I’m only taking two classes per term this year. My therapist thought that would be plenty, with all that I’m trying to sort through right now. Uni’s been very understanding and accommodating about it all. My therapist sent a letter and spoke with the dean.

Professor Bunce mentioned Metropolitan first, when I was still living with them. Said she knew they had some pathway that wasn’t full-time to start.

But I think Baz’s father had something to do with it too. Baz had dragged me along, to their family lodge near Oxford, for a weekend visit soon after he’d left Watford.

I hadn’t really seen the Grimms much since I’d run away from them, the night the Humdrum had attacked Baz. The night I’d extinguished all the magic for miles around their home.

Well, I’d seen Mr. Grimm, at the Coven meetings investigating the death of the Mage. He’d not said much to me, just gripped my shoulder a few times and said “Simon” and nodded at me.

It wasn’t much. But it helped. Helped to know he didn’t hate me for the hole in Hampshire. For driving them all out of their home. For being with his son.

It was just a quiet encouragement, something I’d never expected from him.

But when Baz took me to Oxford with him, to tell his father he would rather be staked than go to uni there, to tell his father he was moving to London with me, I was anxious.

I was going bloody mental.

So of course, being me, I started babbling on at dinner about moving to London, living with Penny, our fourth floor flat, what my therapist had said about uni. Just nattering on, face turning red, hands shaking but unable to stop the fumbling words coming out of my mouth.

Baz, the prat, just looked at me with one eyebrow raised and a half-smile. Bloody twat. He could have cut in and stopped me any time.

Mr. Grimm looked a little glassy-eyed and Daphne had a fixed smile on her face. I finally took a large swig from my water glass and stopped talking.

“That’s … that’s very interesting to hear, Simon.” Mr. Grimm’s face was impassive. “Have you thought about where you might like to study?”

“London’s got so many options,” Daphne added helpfully.

“Uh, Professor Bunce mentioned Metropolitan. Said it’s got some flexibility, with part-time programs and such.” My face was flaming. Baz’s hand slipped into mine and I could breathe a little easier.

“I’m familiar with it. Sebastian is there, Baz. You remember him?”

And then they’d moved the conversation on and I’d slumped back in my chair and taken another helping of pudding.

But a few weeks after I applied to Metropolitan I received a letter from a Mr. Sebastian Palmer-Lloyd, informing me that I was approved for a part-time pathway and providing information on a scholarship he felt I was qualified for, if I filled out the appropriate paperwork.

I think Mr. Grimm arranged it all.

I haven’t dared ask him or attempted to thank him directly.

Baz said not to worry about it, when I asked him what to do. Said his father wouldn’t want me to mention it. He had an odd expression, when I told him about the letter. A distant, fond look.

I don’t think it was for me, though. I think he was thinking of his father.

So that’s how I ended up at London Metropolitan. With only two classes per term. I got that scholarship. I’ve got tutors and a foundation year advisor who stays in touch with my therapist and is surprisingly helpful to me.

Which means I’ve got a fair bit more free time than Baz and Penny.

Which is why I’m wandering through the market on this blustery Thursday. I’ve had a kebab and an ice cream so far. There’s a stand with baked goods that look wonderfully appetizing. Might take some home for later.

I’m strolling along, eyes darting from the food stalls to the art displays when I see the table across the way. The wind’s picked up and my ears are getting a bit cold. It’s not even the end of October. It’s shouldn’t be this blustery yet.

The table is covered with woolen hats and mittens and scarves. Bright colors, soft jewel tones, dark greys and browns. They’re soft and thick and look so very warm.

I don’t wear gloves much. Or hats. Get too hot still, even without the magic. I’m like a personal space heater, Baz says.

Baz gets cold. He’ll whinge about it tonight, how the temperature’s dropped today. But he still doesn’t do a bloody thing about it. Still wears his posh tailored wool coats, his thin leather gloves. He wears scarves but only because he thinks they make him look mysterious and aristocratic. He looks bloody gorgeous in them but I’ll not tell him that.

I will. I have. I can’t help myself.

Baz won’t wear a hat. He wore the boater at Watford because it was required (he loathed it) but once we didn’t have to wear them anymore he wouldn’t wear any type at all. Not even in the frigid depths of winter. Thinks they make his hair look bad, the tosser.

He’ll wear gloves but the ones he has now are useless. Thin leather ones, no good at keeping his fingers warm at all.  I should know. I hold his hand constantly.

I thought he had lined ones, when we were at Watford. I’m sure of it. I remember seeing him putting them on before he’d go to his violin practice. Cashmere lined, I’m sure.

They must be at his place. I’ll have to see if I can dig them up when I’m over there next. It’s only going to get colder.

I run my finger over a pair of mittens. They’re so many—simple knit ones, ones with a flap you can flip over to free up your fingers, ones made from cozy old jumpers and lined with fleece.

Mittens would surely keep Baz’s hands warm.

I find a simple charcoal grey pair with a thick, warm lining. They’re trim and neat, subdued and sedate.

He’ll still find something to complain about but at least his hands will be warm while he does.

3. Bonus Simon slightly creepy ficlet

Simon

Taking only two classes means I’ve a lot more free time than Baz and Penny.

I don’t have class today but I’m up early, as always.

Baz spent the night at his place. Had a paper due today so he didn’t make it over. Probably for the best. He doesn’t have class ‘til noon today. We usually just stay in bed all morning when he sleeps over on Wednesday nights.

But I’ve got plans for the day and an early start is what I need.

London is the best place I’ve lived, other than Watford. There’s so much to do, to see, to explore.

It’s not great for hunting though. At least not for the kind of hunting Baz does. The non-human hunting.

London’s probably more like an all-you-can-eat buffet for the regular vampire types.

But Baz isn’t a regular vampire. He argues with me about it but he’s more human than vampire. Always has been. All that rubbish about being half-dead. It’s all rot.

He’s basically a human with a taste for blood.

But it’s a bit sparse here in the city for him. There’re rats, yeah, but not as concentrated in one place, like they were at Watford.

Places where they do congregate aren’t places I want Baz going to alone. I know he’s got super strength and super speed and whatnot but I still don’t fancy him lurking in Hackney in the middle of the night.

London’s not even in the top twenty rat-infested areas of Britain (yes, I looked it up) (Research.) There are some right big ones in Hackney but it doesn’t even make the list.

There’s a fair amount of birds but they’re a bit dodgy to catch and Baz isn’t too fond of them. There’s deer in Richmond and Greenwich but it’s not that easy to drop a deer in the middle of London, even at night. There’re people around all the time.

You can find badgers in some of the parks but Baz says they’re an endangered species so they’re off limits. That’s taking it a bit far if you ask me. What’s one badger, here and there?

Baz draws the line at bats too. I tease him about that. He’s just too fastidious. Drives me mental. He’s got to feed somehow.

Odd thing is he’s not needing to feed near as often. He used to feed almost every night, he would, at Watford. But since last term he can go two days or sometimes even three and not be worse for the wear. I’m not complaining, mind you, but it’s odd.

Maybe the whole Numpty incident reset his vampiric metabolism? I don’t know. I’m no expert on vampires.

Probably more of an expert than most. On one particular vampire.

So anyway, feedings have been a bit chancy for Baz now that he’s in the city. He’s made do with rats and pigeons, the occasional deer if he can manage it.

He lets me go with him, mostly, now. At least when he hunts for deer. I’m good at lookout, making sure no one’s about, distracting people if I need. Gives him a few moments undisturbed it does.

Even with his altered metabolism it’s still not ideal. He needs a more consistent supply. He’s got a heavy class load. He can’t be out all night trying to feed.

Tried dried blood. I found it on Amazon, of all places. It’s mainly for making blood pudding. Thought it would work all right.

Baz hates it. Made him gag, it did. Says it smells funny and has a chemical aftertaste. Probably all the preservatives. Used it in emergencies a few times, like when it snowed for three days straight in February.

I found some in an Asian market. In the freezer section. I swear to Merlin I had no idea you could get frozen blood in a grocery store.

I’d actually found the place on some Reddit forum on blood pudding. I keep having to clear my browser history. Don’t know what my classmates would think if they saw the searches for blood products on my laptop. Think I’m mental or part of some cult, I’m sure.

The frozen blood wasn’t much good either. Something about the freezing process and coagulation and whatnot. Baz and Penny went on and on about it. I couldn’t follow it all. Just crossed frozen blood off the list of options.

This one Asian market in Catford had fresh blood. Thank you, Reddit. I got a tub of it and brought it home on the tube. Lid must have loosened up at some point. Ended up with the front of my shirt all soaked in it. Looked a nightmare I did.

Walked into the flat and Penny took one look at me and started shrieking about Goblins.

I haven’t seen Baz look that frightened since … since the whole Weeping Tower incident.

He looked terrified. Face shades paler than usual, nostrils flaring, pupils blown, eyes wide and fixed on the bloodstain on my shirt. His fangs popped (I can tell) (His cheeks puff up.)

And then he was right there, running his hands over me, searching for a wound or injury or some such. Got blood all over his hands, patting me down like that.

It took some time for everyone to settle. I hadn’t realized what I looked like, big blood stain in the middle of my chest and splatters of blood on my hands where I’d snapped the lid back on.

Thought I’d been attacked, is what they thought. The Goblins still think I’m fair game so I suppose Penny and Baz had a point.

I put the tub of blood in the refrigerator and went to take a shower. I think Baz burned my shirt. I don’t know why they didn’t “out, out damn spot”it. That should get blood out.

I kind of liked that shirt. But I don’t think Baz or Penny were quite rational at that moment. It’s their biggest fear for me, played out, now that I don’t have magic anymore.

Took me half the night to get Baz settled down enough to try the blood.

Better than the dried blood for certain. Better than the frozen too. Not sure how I was going to manage transporting it back and forth from Catford without another disaster like this one.

Got a big thermos is what I did. Went back a week later but they didn’t have any in stock. Finally got some a few weeks later and transported it home without incident. Thermos did the trick.

Their supply isn’t that reliable. I’m on their list to call when they have it now. The owner thinks I’m some private chef who specializes in blood sausage. The language barrier helps keep them from asking too many questions.

So that’s what I’m up to today. I’ve got a list of butcher shops I called Monday that said they get fresh blood every so often. I’m going round to see if they look reputable and clean. Won’t be getting dodgy supplies for Baz.

I’m hoping if I find enough suppliers I put them in a rotation of sorts. You know something like Catford first Friday of the month, Ealing every other Thursday, Camden on alternate Tuesdays. Something like that. So I’ve always got a supply on hand for Baz.

Keep him from having to prowl around as much at night, especially once it gets cold again. Keeps him out of the dodgier neighborhoods too.

It’s almost six by the time I get home. I’ve got a list and dates and I’m going to put it on a spreadsheet to keep it all organized.

I’ve got two thermoses in my backpack so that’s all right then. I tuck them into the small refrigerator under my desk and head to the shower.

It’s almost eight by the time Baz texts me that he’s on his way over. I’ve got the spreadsheet all done and put the pick-up reminders in my phone.

He’s going to fuss about it all. Baz doesn’t deny it, like he used to, but he still hates talking about it. So I won’t say much. Just tell him I’ve found a steady supply and leave it at that. He doesn’t need to know the details.

That I went all over London today to find reputable distributors. That half of London thinks I’m a blood sausage specialist. That I set up a schedule for myself of when to get the blood. That the frig under my desk isn’t just there because I get hungry all the time.

Baz does so much for me.

I just want to do something for him.

Baz

My heart is pounding in my chest and I can't catch my breath. Simon is staring at me and I can't speak.

I've completely lost the ability to form coherent sentences and I can sense the anxiety rising in him at my continued silence.

This boy. This absolutely fucking gorgeous nightmare of a boy.

He's been fussing with different ways for me to feed for weeks now but I thought he'd finally given it a rest.

But no. I should know by now that Simon Snow perseveres and digs his heels in when faced with a conundrum.

I'm the conundrum.

I know the enormity of what he's done for me. He's minimizing it all, not telling me what I know is true.

That he's traipsed the length of London, personally scrutinizing these butcher shops. That despite his utter loathing of Excel he's put the effort in to make spread sheets--spread sheets, for Merlin's sake--to keep track of dates and times and locations. That he's volunteered himself to pick up the blood, so no one becomes suspicious of me.

Simon’s done all this for me and I'm speechless.

He’s said he loves me. I know he thinks he means it. I want to believe that Simon Snow loves me as desperately, as passionately, as absolutely as I love him.

But I've never really let myself believe it. Not until now.

And it makes me love him even more than I already did, if that's even possible.

I can feel the tears coming on so I grab Simon's shoulders and pull him towards me, burying my face in his neck, my arms tight around him.

"I love you, Simon Snow."He relaxes in my arms and pulls me closer.

"I love you, Baz."

And I know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, just how much he truly does.

[s-nebul0sa]

Do you know what it’s like Part 1

Read on AO3

When she closes her eyes, she can still feel it sometimes. Like her skin is being ripped away from muscle. Ligaments torn and fire burning on her exposed tissue. It feels like every inch of her is simultaneously on fire as well as freezing, burning in loud complaint and trying valiantly to make her do something to stop it.

She snaps her eyes open and the feeling immediately disappears. A small ache in her muscles and her memory the only way to tell she’s felt it again. She blinks, slowly because somehow her body doesn’t do rapidly again with anything.

Over and over her minds plays back the questions Supergirl dared to ask her.

“Do you know what it’s like, to walk into a room and your skin feel like it’s going to be seared off your bones?”

“Like nails are running through your blood.”

She does. She does and she won’t ever be able to forget it. She blinks again and the feeling is back. Igniting deep in her bones and superficially just beneath her skin. It makes its way from the tips of her toes all the way to her crown leaving aching muscles and damaged nerves in its wake.

Her left hand hasn’t stopped trembling since. She’s perfectly capable of hiding it, keeping her arm behind her body, her hand in her pocket or clasped in the other. She’s glad it’s not her dominant hand because she’s sure it would show in a shaky signature.

James is the only one who knows. He’s never brought it up. Never asked her. But she knows he’s seen her hand shake uncontrollably. It’s a lot harder to hide it when they’re alone; trying to relax, trying to sleep. She’s told him about her visit to her doctor too, about the meds she now has to take after the cyanide poisoning. About how little research and knowledge there is because usually people die or are exposed over a long time to lower levels. Not to a spike like she has. There’re really only several cases known like her, surviving a high single dose. Most of them attempted suicides.

Her body betraying her is a good representation of her experiences in life. No one stays, no one is trustworthy and in the end everyone betrays her in their own way. Even if it’s not on purpose. Even if they don’t mean it. And if they don’t directly betray her, they all leave. Her birth mother being the first to do so - death is also leaving. Lex. Jack. Kara. Sam.

She hopes James is different. Really wants to give him a chance but it’s hard when she’s ready for the other shoe drop at any given moment.

It is only a matter of time, though, before others start catching on. Alex, Eve, Brainy. They’ve all been spending time with Lena in the lab and Lena usually is rather hands-on but because she no longer has full control over her left she’s been subtly trying to get out of practical work.

She’s relinquished all responsibilities over CatCo back to James. He’s shown perfectly capable to run the magazine and she is all but. She’s more useful at L-Corp and it’s the perfect way to keep business and pleasure separate.

“Miss Luthor?” Jess’s voice drifts through the intercom.

“Yes, Jess,” Lena replies, leaning away from the never-ending stack of papers on her desk.

“Mr. Olsen is here to pick you up.”

James, here? It’s hardly past noon. She never finishes work before six, and even that early is usually an exception.

“He’ll be there in a minute,” Jess adds. Lena thanks her and tries to rake her mind what James might be doing at L-Corp in the middle of the day to pick her up. She didn’t forget about a lunch date, did she? Quickly she opens up her itinerary and notices her afternoon completely devoid of appointments, as is the rest of the week. All the days are greyed out and a small note saying ‘trip to Sun City’ at the top of each day. Did she just forget a vacation trip with James?

Before she can answer herself, James enters her office with a wide smile.

“Are you ready?” he asks as he walks over to her for a kiss.

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” Lena replies with a smile when he releases her lips and straightens his back.

“No, you don’t.” James jokes back. Lena raises an eyebrow at him but from the way he smiles she can tell that if she really did not want to go, he wouldn’t force her. She does want to go though so she starts cleaning the clutter on the desk.

Lena closes off her computer and puts away the paperwork on her desk. She trusts there’s no pressing matters in their, Jess would have made sure she finished that before leaving.

Suddenly she remembers the discussion they had about the trip. She was — still is, actually — hesitant about leaving L-Corp behind for a week, especially now that Sam has left too. However, James convinced her, with Jess’s help, L-Corp would be fine without her and they’d know where to reach her in case of an emergency.

She gets up and grabs her coat, finding her packed suitcase behind the rack. She grabs it and rolls it behind her as James holds the door open for her.

“You have everything?” He asks, still holding the door open in case she doesn’t.

“I think so.” She can’t really remember packing her suitcase but she must’ve thought of the most important things.

“ID?” James asks and Lena checks her purse to be certain she has it. She can buy new clothes in Sun City if she forgot them, or a toothbrush or shampoo but without her ID she wouldn’t even get there. When she finds it she waves it at James and puts it back in it’s designated spot.

“Meds?” Lena rummages through her bag again and, without much trouble, finds the ample amount of pill bottles she’s been prescribed after going to her own doctor. Apparently cyanide poisoning damages the brain and, though not a lot is known, certain meds can keep the damage from getting worse.

“Yes,” Lena concludes, also finding her phone charger and a book she’d been planning to read for a while. At least she has the essentials.

The flight isn’t as bad as she had anticipated. With James by her side, reassuring her every time she feels overwhelmed or scared, it’s less imposing to get on an aircraft again. Even thousands of feet in the air, James can keep her grounded. All he really has to do is keep talking to her, keep her engaged in conversation. The topic doesn’t even matter.

A few hours later they land in Sun City and Lena feels like she can finally really breath again when she sets foot on solid ground. She lugs her own suitcase through the airport to the cabs because she’s too stubborn to take James up on his offer to help her. She’s perfectly capable of carrying her own stuff. If she isn’t, she should’ve packed less.

By the time they reach the cabs Lena’s arms feel like jelly and she’s glad the cab driver insists on lifting the suitcases into the trunk. The cab ride is swift and at the hotel there’s a bell boy ready to unload the cab and take their luggage up to their room.

The room looks a lot like Lena’s suite in National City; like any other expensive hotel suite. Lena’s body feels spent, having spent the morning working and the afternoon travelling. She’s really not the 25-year old she was anymore. Her body feels more like it’s approaching sixty. The suitcases are in front of the closet and usually she’d unpack hers and organise her stuff but she doesn’t have the energy to even think about it.

With a little more effort than would be normal, she manages to pry off her coat and sinks down on the side of the bed. Her exhaustion makes her tremor worse, her limbs stiff and her eyelids heavy which causes them to droop and the searing pain to reappear.

Silently, James rummages a little through the room, opening and closing the mini-fridge, the closet, a zipper. He sits down beside her and hands her a clear plastic container with pills and a water bottle. Lena opens the ‘evening’ cap of the container and shakes them out on her other hand, sending James a thankful smile for thinking of her meds because she’d completely forgotten. It’s not yet a habit.

“How about we stay in tonight?” James suggests after she’s downed all of the meds she’s supposed to take on an empty stomach. “Order roomservice, maybe watch a movie or make some plans for tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Lena agrees. She’s grateful James offered, she’d probably be too proud to admit she’s too tired to go explore the city tonight and end up ruining the remainder of their first vacation day together.

“You should rest a little and I’ll unpack,” James says, making clear he doesn’t accept any discussion on Lena’s part. With a relieved sigh she toes her shoes off, untucks her blouse and lifts it off over her head. Buttons don’t agree with her now, she knows it. She takes a deep breath, commands her fingers to cooperate and, after a little fidgeting, manages to unbutton her trousers. In nothing but her underwear she slides up the bed and under the soft covers.

When she closes her eyes this time, there’s still the burning biting at her bones but the edge has been taken off. She listens to James putting away his clothes as she rests, the sound of cupboards and the closet opening and closing somehow comforting.

She must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing she hears is a cart rolling and tableware clinking. She blinks away the sleep in her eyes and folds away the covers from her body. By the time she’s gotten up from the bed, James has made his way back into the room and, upon noticing her, moves to the closet and holds out a robe.

“I’ve ordered roomservice,” he tells her. “I didn’t know what you wanted so I ordered some things I know you like and you can pick.”

“Thank you, James,” Lena says as she sits down on the chair he’s pulled out for her, “you didn’t have to.”

“I did. I wanted to,” James rebuttals as he removes the covers from the dishes and waits for her to decide which one she wants.

“Which one do you want?” Lena asks. She’s not used to this and doesn’t want to disappoint James by choosing the meal he actually wanted himself.

“I don’t care, they all look delicious,” James replies smoothly, leaving Lena no other option than to pick something.

While they eat, James talks a little about everything they can do during their vacation. They’d made plans before but, as James explains, maybe it’d be best if they alter them a little. Make a list of priorities and see how much they can do. She tries to argue they don’t need to alter their plans on account of her but before she can even get a single word in he cuts her short.

“I know you don’t want to,” he says, “but it’s a vacation. We’re supposed to return well-rested and with renewed energy, not run ragged. I don’t want you to get worse because you wanted to see another cathedral. We can always come back if we haven’t done everything we wanted to but your body can’t be replaced once it’s wrecked. Please, Lena.”

He makes a compelling argument and maybe he’s right. A trip can be repeated, a body can’t be replaced and she has no reason to believe she’ll die anytime soon. Only live her life a little different than planned — or expected. That is, if the next assassination attempt doesn’t succeed.

She nods, “okay, we can start with the boat trip tomorrow and see from there.”

They make a list of priorities for their trip, planning to work their way from top to bottom so they’ll at least have seen the most important things if they can’t manage them all. They won’t manage them all, Lena already knows this. They probably wouldn’t have managed them all before she got poisoned either but there’s no way to know for sure.

Lena barely manages to eat half the food on her plate — pain really quenches ones appetite — and James finishes it for her. Not once does he mention she should eat more, he knows she can’t and the best he can do is remind her it’s mealtime so she at least eats something.

After dinner they curl up on the bed with a movie, Lena wrapped up in James’s arms and her head resting on his shoulder. One of her arms is tucked in between them, the other tracing meaningless patterns on his chest and stomach. She can’t really follow the plot, her mind going everywhere and nowhere as guilt eats at her and the emptiness of having all her friends leave feels a lot bigger.

“I forgot our trip,” she confesses in a whisper after a while.

James looks down at her and frowns, “you had everything packed and ready, what do you mean?”

“I didn’t forget this morning, I think. I forgot before you picked me up. I didn’t know why you were coming. I didn’t know I’d even packed. I completely forgot the entire thing.”

“That’s why we needed it so much. Everything’s been so hectic lately, everyone could use a break.” James tugs her a little closer and presses a kiss to her crown.

“What if it wasn’t the stress,” Lena ponders.

“You think, the cyanide?”

Lena shrugs. She doesn’t know but it’s a possibility. A worrying one.

“We’ll see,” James says, “maybe it was just stress and worry and it’s a one time thing. If not, we’ll find a way to cope, okay?”

“Okay,” Lena agrees though not entirely convinced. She’ll try to have hope, even if only for James’s sake.

They go back to the movie and Lena starts reminiscing about the past year. How much has changed. She and James started dating, Sam moved to National City and moved away again after going on a killing spree because there was a dormant Kryptonian residing in her body, Kara left for some assignment. Lena’s started building a friendship with Alex, Winn, J’onn but also lost her friendship with Supergirl. No longer anything but colleagues now. Colleagues that can’t stand each other but need to cooperate.

God, she misses Kara in moments like these. She knows James works with Supergirl so she doesn’t yet feel comfortable sharing everything she feels and thinks in that regard with him. Kara, though doesn’t have work at the DEO interfering. Yes, she’s friends with Supergirl but she’s Lena’s best friendand Lena feels like she can tell her anything and Kara won’t judge. Even if it is about another friend of hers.

“Do you know when Kara’s coming back from her assignment?” she asks James. He’s her boss, if anyone knows it’s him.

“Hmm,” he hums as he thinks for a moment, “not sure. She hasn’t told you?”

“No,” Lena replies, “it’s been radio silence since she left and then she didn’t know for how long it would be.”

“Sorry, I’m afraid I don’t know either.”

“That’s okay. It’s just that I miss her,” Lena admits.

“You miss her?” He sounds surprised.

“Don’t you ever miss the people you love if you haven’t spoken to them in a while?”

“You love Kara?” James asks as he pulls back from her.

“Yes I- wait,” Lena backtracks, realising what she said and what James probably made of it, “not like that. I’m not in love with her, darling. She’s my best friend so I love her but it’s a different love from the one I feel for you.”

She looks up at him, hoping to portray her message more strongly with her eyes. James takes a moment to process but then leans down to capture her lips in his.

“I’m sorry everyone’s leaving,” James tells her, “but I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

It’s the same thing Kara told her, so Lena isn’t sure whether to believe it. On the other hand, Kara didn’t really abandon her, did she? She just left for a while, the promise was more a mental thing than physical. With James, she likes to believe it’s both and he’s more invested in this promise.

In lieu of an answer, Lena captures his lips again and lifts herself up and on top of his lap. She drapes her arms over his shoulders as she deepens their kiss, movie playing forgotten in the background as they lose themselves in each other.

The next several days they enjoy visiting the highlights of Sun City. Lena’s never actually explored a city. Not like this. She’s visited plenty for business but she’s never taken the time to get to know a city. Hand in hand, they walk the streets and ride the subway.

James ends up going to a museum and some landmarks alone because he’d rather have Lena be with him — both physically as well as mentally — during dinner or other highlights. The only reason this museum and the landmarks made it high up their priorities list was because James wanted to visit them and so Lena did too by extension because they’re on a vacation together.

Slowly, they tick of places from the list and by the time the last night arrives, they haven’t even made it halfway. But they’ve enjoyed themselves immensely and it was totally worth not scrambling to visit every single place recommended by the booklets.

They’re back on the bed, Lena’s head resting on James’s chest again, her fingers tracing patterns beneath it on his slightly damp skin. Their bare legs are intertwined and she wishes she could pause the world, stay in this moment a little while longer.

She loves her work at L-Corp but a seemingly eternal battle with the image of her last name, conflicts with the board and old white men trying to undermine her. The latests research into the Harun-El a painful reminder of her days in the lab with Jack, of how she can’t manage to open tubes anymore, of how much she doesn’t belong there now. She still tries to enjoy it though, doing research is what she loves and if she has Eve and her team do the practical stuff that doesn’t mean she isn’t a researcher anymore.

James starts playing with her hair, brushing his fingers through and untangling the mess it’s inevitably become. He pulls her closer, flush to his body, and captures her lips in a languid kiss. She lifts her hand from his chest to his cheek and brushes his skin with her thumb.

With her eyes closed but his lips on hers, his tongue battling with hers, she can barely feel the pain in her body. He’s almost like a drug, placing a gently blanket over the fire in her tissues. She breaks their kiss before it can become more intense and sighs a little. She really can’t go another round, even if she wants to. He seems to understand, stretching slightly for the remote and handing it to her so she can pick something to watch if she wants to.

She puts the device on their legs, atop the covers and relaxes back into James’s embrace. She rather enjoy this quiet moment a little longer before putting on a movie. His head comes down to the top of hers, his cheek resting on her crown as they both stare in the distance lost in thought.

“Move in with me,” he suddenly suggests. Lena’s head snaps up, jostling his slightly in the abrupt movement.

“What?”

“Move in with me,” he repeats. “I don’t like you living in a hotel and if you move in with my you don’t have to look for a place. Two birds, one stone. And I don’t think I even want you to go away, ever. I’ve become much too attached to having you in my bed every night during this vacation. I don’t think I can sleep without you in my arms.”

“You’re such a sap,” Lena jokes, playfully hitting his side.

“Hey!” James exclaims with a laugh. “I’m your sap so you better appreciate it.”

Lena rolls her eyes before placing her head back in its familiar and comfortable spot.

“I mean it, Lena,” James says, voice back to serious. She lifts her head once more to look him in the eyes, his dark chestnut coloured ones lovingly looking at her forest green ones.

“You’re serious?” she asks. She’s never lived with someone before, except for her family. Even Jack never asked and she never dared to, afraid of ruining what they had in the old garage box. She’s sure she can’t be easy to live with. Too high maintenance, too demanding, too clingy or too indifferent, she’s just never good enough. Lillian has made that plenty clear.

“Yes, please move in with me,” James pleads. “You can even keep that ridiculous stuffed teddy.”

“Hey! Kara won that one for me,” Lena quips, reminded of the trip she and Kara made a long time ago to a carnival because Lena had slipped she’d never been and Kara was determined to change that. With surprisingly little effort Kara had then concurred a stuffed animal by throwing a dozen cans off a wooden board with only two balls. That day had a lot of firsts for Lena and will always be a fond memory.

“In that case, he can stay but not in the bedroom,” James jokes, earning a laugh from Lena.

She doesn’t answer for another minute, contemplating what it would be like to live with James. His apartment is nice, spacious yet still cozy. It’s beautifully decorated with his own pictures, a painting Kara made him for his first birthday in National City and some other pieces of art. She knows for a fact there’s plenty of room for her stuff, he doesn’t need half his closet space and the bathroom is nearly empty as well, save for his razor, shaving cream and one-in-all shampoo and body wash. He’s once told her his apartment feels rather empty, even though there’s enough clutter to fill the space.

She’d probably fit right in the imaginary hole. It’s not belongings James longs for in his apartment. It’s someone. Her.

“Okay,” she acquiesces when she’s made her mind up.

“Really?” he asks, his eyes starting to twinkle with excitement.

“Really,” Lena assents, “I’ll move in with you.”

James’s entire face lights up with pure joy. He excitedly lifts her off, placing her gently on her back on the bed and leaning over her as he places nimble kisses first all over her face and then slowly tracing down and peppering her entire body with them.

“James,” she laughs, trying weakly to fight him off. Her hands pressing against his shoulders and arms as she squirms beneath him. Her skin feels like it’s back on fire, the good kind, like a while ago, but with traces of the bad kind trying to worm their way through.

“James,” she pleads, “James, please.” The fire edging more and more towards painful.

“James!” she nearly shouts when the precarious balance is about to tip over. The message seems to hit home and James suddenly pulls his head away as if struck by lightning.

“Shit, Lena,” he blurts, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He recoils back further, increasing the distance between them.

She shakes her head a little, her hair twisting itself in knots between her head and the pillow. It’s not his fault. He couldn’t have known. Tears prick in her eyes, forming without her consent. Fighting their way out of her, not only from the pain, also from guilt. How can James like her like this, when at any moment she can kill the mood because of some stupid pain that’s not even real.

She really hates herself sometimes. If only she wasn’t herself. Someone else would probably be much better for James. She’s only a downer, a disappointed, a mood-killer.

“Are you okay?” James asks worried, hovering over her from beside the bed but never touching.

Lena can’t fight the tears any more and they escape from her eyes, working their way steadily down and wetting the pillow beneath her. She tries to nod, let James know he didn’t do anything wrong.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers hoarsely, beginning a low chant of the phrase. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Lena,” James cuts her off, carefully brushing away her tears with his thumbs only to make room for more. He tries to get her attention, gently tilting her head slightly so she’s facing him. “Hey, hey, honey, look at me please,” he pleads and she tries to blink away the tears and focus on his slightly blurry face.

“Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?” he asks then, “please be honest.”

“No,” Lena mumbles, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise, I should’ve stopped when you asked,” James says, cupping her cheek. Her hand comes up to catch his between her face and hand.

“It’s not your fault either,” she tells him. “You couldn’t have known. I didn’t know.”

Fresh tears appear as Lena thinks of what she isn’t saying. You deserve better. You shouldn’t have to worry about stupid things like this. You shouldn’t have to take care of your girlfriend like some old person.

“Stop that,” he requests, “please stop blaming yourself or thinking you’re not good enough. You are exactly enough. You don’t have to change a single thing and if this is our new reality, then so be it. You can’t change it and neither can I so we’ll work with what we get, okay? Please don’t beat yourself up over something out of your control.”

Lena tries to pull James closer, tugging on his arm until he complies and climbs on the bed with her again. She burrows her face in James’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around her to hold her while she cries. Tears of frustration, guilt, fear and pain all make their way out of her body and when she’s done crying she’s left feeling blissfully empty but with a pounding headache. James whispers sweet nothings to her, stroking her back, her head, her arms until she calms down.

He places her back on the bed then and with a kiss to her temple he leaves, telling her, “I’ll be right back.”

He returns with a glass of water and some painkillers for her to take, sliding right back in next to her when she’s taken them and drank the water. He pulls her close again and tucks the covers in around them, wrapping them up in a little cocoon. The world outside doesn’t exist for tonight. One more night without responsibilities weighing them down. Without the burden of their jobs, their other activities, their names, skin colour or gender. One more night in blissful heaven.

“You’ll still move in with me?” he asks when her eyes begin to droop and he body has started to relax again.

She replies sleepily, “of course,” before letting the drag of sleep take her under. James’s warmth and familiar skin against hers keeping the burning pain away for another night.

Part 2

[mikebrackett]

Things Your Parents Didn’t Tell You About Living on Your Own

“Why did no one ever teach us this?” is a common question among young people experiencing the grown-up world for the first time.

Being out on your own for the first time can be tough. It comes with a whole suite of new responsibilities, and they all fall on you.

Once you move out of your childhood home and into your own place, there’s no one to pick up your slack. Even if you live with a roommate, you’re still responsible for keeping your space, your finances and yourself healthy and in order. Taking this all on at once can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re not quite sure how to handle a lot of this stuff.

If you’re living alone for the first time and aren’t sure how to cut a potato properly let alone create a budget that allows you to save for your 401(k), fear not. Everyone figures it out eventually, and we’ve got some tips that will help ease the transition.

What to Stock

First things first: there are some items you’ll need to keep on hand if you want to have a successfully-run home or apartment. You know the basics – chairs, tables, a place to sleep – but there are some odds and ends you might not realize are essential.

Because most people who are just starting out on their own usually don’t have a ton of money to furnish a perfectly-stocked apartment, we’ve broken down what you’ll need, organized by the room. Supplement this list with any items you know you can’t live without.

Kitchen

Pots and pans: Get at least two of each, one large and one small

Cooking tools: Some basics to get you started include a chef’s knife, a paring knife, spatulas (both a metal and rubber one), measuring utensils, a mixing bowl, a colander and a can opener.

Spices: Start with salt and pepper. Add others to your collection as recipes call for them.

Tableware and eating utensils: No paper plates and plastic cutlery! Get a dinnerware set that includes plates, bowls and cups. Or you can save money mixing and matching individual pieces from the thrift store. Just make sure they’re in good condition. You don’t need a huge set unless you plan on hosting large dinner parties. But get a few of each so you have some wiggle room when it comes to doing the dishes. Make sure you have a set of forks, knives and spoons as well.

Cookware can be expensive, and if you’re having trouble pulling together the cash for these items, let the people in your life know you’re moving into a new place and see if they’d be willing to donate any stuff they don’t use anymore.

Bedroom

Two sets of sheets: One to go on your bed, one clean and ready to go for when the other set needs to be laundered.

A bed: Not just a mattress on the floor. Not only can placing a mattress directly on the floor be bad for the mattress, it can expose you to dust and other allergens.

Bathroom

Toilet paper: Buy it in bulk. It doesn’t expire and there’s no chance you’re not going to use all of it. In fact, pack it with your belongings and bring it with you on move-in day. You’ll probably need it before you get a chance to run to the store.

Non-slip bath rug: Not only is a colorful bath rug a cheap and easy way to brighten up your bathroom, but if you get one with non-skid treads on the bottom you’ll give yourself a safe place to dry off your feet after a shower. You’ll prevent a slippery and potentially dangerous floor.

Miscellaneous

Multipurpose cleaner: A spray bottle of cleaning product that works on almost any surface is a must-have for lazy and budget-conscious cleaners alike. Just don’t use it on any surfaces that need special treatment, like wood floors.

Cleaning cloths: You can also use paper towels, but for an eco-friendlier route, buy a pack of reusable microfiber cloths to do your cleaning with.

Basic tools: Having a few commonly-used tools on hand will be helpful for hanging pictures, fixing leaky faucets and the like. For basic projects, get yourself a few different sizes of both slotted and Phillips-head screwdrivers, a hammer, a tape measure, pliers, a utility knife and an adjustable wrench.

Scissors: Easy to forget, but you’ll really feel it when you need a pair and don’t own one.

A step ladder: Don’t climb on kitchen chairs (or worse, rolling desk chairs) and risk hurting yourself when you need to reach something that’s high up.

How to Budget

When you move out on your own for the first time, you’ll likely have to take on a lot of new costs that you aren’t used to having. Between rent, bills, groceries and all the annoying unexpected costs that inevitably come up, you’re going to need to have a plan for how you spend your money.

Thanks to the plethora of budgeting apps available, managing your money is easier than ever. However, you can download as many apps as you want or spend hours painstakingly crafting a personalized budget that accounts for all your expenses, but it won’t help if you don’t actually stick to the plan. That’s why it’s so important to find a budgeting method that works for you.

One popular method is the 50/20/30 rule, where you allocate 50% of your income to living expenses, 20% to savings and debt and 30% for the things you want but don’t necessarily need. You could also craft a budget that prioritizes paying off debt, or one that puts all your extra money toward investing.

If you’re new to budgeting and doubt your organization abilities, start small. Start tracking your spending and evaluate what types of things your income goes to. Learn about what it means to live within your means. Utilize money-saving tricks, like setting up a direct deposit into your savings account or cutting back on your electricity use. Avoid racking up credit card debt.

The most important thing is that you find a budget that fits your specific needs and goals and is realistic. Budgets are like diets: the best one is the one you can stick to.

Whatever your budget, the two most vital things you should prioritize (if you’re not deeply in high interest debt) are building an emergency savings fund and saving for retirement. For your emergency fund, the goal is to have three to six months of living expenses saved up, so if you run into a big life change such as losing your job, you have time to get yourself back on track without being in immediate financial danger. Retirement, though it may seem far off, is equally important. The earlier you start saving, the longer your money has to grow.

How to Keep Clean

When you live alone, there’s no one else to blame when things get messy. There’s also no one else to blame you, which is why so many people who are out on their own for the first time fall into the habit of letting their place get a little – or a lot – messy.

You shouldn’t let stuff build up just because you or your roommates don’t mind living in a messy space. It’s not super difficult to keep your place tidy if you stay on top of it. Plus, some of the things that come along with a poorly-cleaned house like mold and pests are health hazards that can be a serious pain to get rid of.

The best and easiest way to keep your space neat is to clean as you go. Don’t let stuff pile up for “later” (which we all know really means until I have guests coming over and it’s embarrassing). Wipe down the counter as soon as you’re done cooking. Break down pizza boxes for the recycling as soon as you’ve put away your leftovers. Do your dishes as soon as you finish dinner. Re-hang clothes you try on right away. When you let piles of mess build up, cleaning becomes an even more daunting task, making you want to do it even less.

You don’t have to be perfect. People have busy lives. Sometimes, your place will be messy. If you have trouble keeping tidy, here are our basic cleaning tips for the days (or weeks) where you can only do the bare minimum:

Regularly wipe down the items and surfaces you use every day, disinfecting where necessary (this is where a good multipurpose cleaning spray will come in handy).

Food products need to be stored properly or thrown out. Cooked food shouldn’t be left sitting out for more than two hours, as room temperature is the ideal temperature for bacterial growth (the USDA refers to a temperature range between 40 – 140 degrees as the danger zone for food). Leaving food out can also attract pests. Clean up spills and crumbs right away.

Don’t allow dust to collect for too long, especially if you have a respiratory condition.

At least once a week, set aside some time to put things away. Tackle the pile of outfit rejects in your room, sort the mail and return your shoes to their rack. Get rid of any clutter.

If you don’t have time to do the dishes right away, rinse them off as soon as you go to put them in the sink. If you made something that has a tendency to crust, pour some dish soap on the dish and submerge it in water to soak. This will make doing the dishes a million times easier when you get to them.

While you don’t have to do all the dishes right away, any utensils that were used to prep raw food such as meat should be cleaned as soon as you’re done with them.

How to Stay Safe

If you’re out on your own the first time, you’re likely renting your place, meaning that a lot of your security is left up to the rental community you live in. When you’re first searching for places to live, make sure to inquire about a place’s security features before you sign a lease. Are the areas surrounding the building well-lit? Can anyone enter buildings, or do doors require a key? Do they change the locks when a new renter moves in?

While it’s good to live in a place that provides security for its residents, there are ways you can secure your individual unit against intruders.

If your door has a peephole, use it. If it doesn’t, see about getting one installed. If your lease allows for it, install a deadbolt and chain lock if you don’t already have one. Make sure the locks on the windows are in good condition. Consider investing in renter’s insurance, and get to know your neighbors.

One great way to ensure your safety when you’re living on your own is to cultivate a local support system, especially if you don’t have a roommate and are living away from your family and friends. Making friends with a trustworthy neighbor can be invaluable. They can keep an extra set of your keys in case of an emergency and keep an eye out for any suspicious activity while you’re out of town.

When you live alone, it’s important that you keep the people in your life updated on what you’re up to so they know to check in when they haven’t heard from you. If you don’t have anyone in your life you care to share those details with, make friends with a local and make a deal to check in on each other regularly or to let each other know when you’re going somewhere outside of your usual routine.

Be sure you’re staying safe inside your home as well and watch out for common household hazards. Check regularly that your fire and carbon monoxide alarms are working, keep a first aid kit on hand and avoid creating tripping hazards.

Make sure you’re observing basic kitchen safety rules when cooking. Never leave cooking food unattended and know how to use a fire extinguisher. Also, use oven mitts and wash your hands frequently, especially after handling raw meat. Finally, double check that you turned off the burners or stove after you’ve finished cooking.

How to Stay Healthy

This may be one of the more difficult aspects of living alone for the first time, because the only person you’re accountable to on this is yourself. But just because you can get away with neglecting your health doesn’t mean you should.

Visit your doctor at least once a year for a physical. Visit the dentist twice a year. See the eye doctor every one or two years. If you’re at risk for any specific conditions, make sure you’re getting screened as often as is recommended.

At the very least, don’t put off calling and making an appointment when something is wrong. Waiting for an ailment to get better on its own can end badly. By being proactive, you could be saving yourself lengthy and costly treatment, or you could very well be saving your own life.

Educate yourself on how to eat a balanced diet – cooking healthy and affordable meals for one isn’t easy. While conventional wisdom states that it’s generally cheaper to cook your meals than get them at a restaurant, that truth is a little more complicated for single diners who face challenges shopping and cooking for one person when very little food is sold in single-servings. Making unique and healthy meals each day can actually become quite expensive.

To work around these challenges and save money, try cooking one big meal once a week and portioning it out into individual containers for a daily meal. If you need more variety, plan out your weekly meals using recipes with similar requirements. For example, one week you could plan to make mostly chicken-based dishes, using different spices, sauces and sides to have a different dish each night.

Another way to keep your food costs down while eating healthy is to stock your freezer with some basic meal components, like chicken and bagged vegetables, and thaw individual servings as needed. Always keep staples like pasta, beans and rice on hand.

Who to Call

Being the boss of your own household can be a great feeling, but it also means you’re the one who has to step up when everything hits the fan.

From pest infestations to burst pipes and life-threatening emergencies, adult life offers all kinds of unexpected and stressful situations that will pop up when you’re least expecting it. The key is to be prepared and know how to deal with it ahead of time. This is often a matter of having the right phone number.

If you live in an apartment, you already have a great resource when it comes to many of these situations: your landlord or management office. If you’re ever dealing with a non-emergency apartment issue, give them a call and they’ll likely send out their handyman to fix it. If it requires a service not provided for in your lease, they can still let you know who can help you with your issue, and might even be able to provide recommendations.

If you own your home or have a less-than-helpful landlord, you may be stuck dealing with problems on your own. If it’s a simple repair or issue, try using the internet to educate yourself on how to fix it. Or, get some recommendations for a repair professional who can help you (yet another reason to build a local support system – they can give you the lowdown on the best repairmen and mechanics in your area).

Keep any phone numbers you need close by. This includes any numbers you received upon move-in, which will likely tell you who to call if you have repair issues. Get a number for someone you can call for after-hour issues. You probably know to call 911 in an emergency, but find out your locality’s number for reporting non-emergencies, such as a burglary that has already happened, as well.

What to Do When You’re Scared/Lonely/Overwhelmed

When you move out on your own, you become responsible not just for your logistics of living, but for making yourself feel better when you’re not doing well emotionally.

Living on your own, especially if you don’t have a roommate, can feel really great and freeing, but it can also be overwhelming and lonely, particularly when you first move in.

Know that it’s OK to feel overwhelmed or even scared. You will adjust, even if it takes a little while. Eventually, you’ll get into a routine that works for you. You’ll get used to the strange noises your home occasionally makes. You’ll feel confident in caring for yourself.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Don’t let geographical distance get to you. Your friends and family, even those who live far away, are really never more than a phone call or video chat away.

Consider talking to a therapist. Moving out on your own is a big transition, and dealing with the emotions that come with that – both positive and negative – can be overwhelming. A mental health professional can help you sort out your feelings of fear, anxiety or loneliness.

Make sure you’re getting out of the house regularly. Even the most introverted homebodies can start to feel isolated if they only ever leave to go to work or the grocery store. Make sure you’re inviting others over every so often as well. It will feel good to host friends in your space, whether it’s for an elaborate dinner party or a chill movie night.

Most importantly, remember to relish in the freedom of living on your own. If you want to eat dessert for dinner occasionally, no one is there to judge you. If you want to throw a one-person dance party, dance away. Celebrate your independence.

What are your tips for living on your own? Share them in the comments!

The post Things Your Parents Didn’t Tell You About Living on Your Own appeared first on ZING Blog by Quicken Loans.

from Updates About Loans https://www.quickenloans.com/blog/things-parents-didnt-tell-living

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Things Your Parents Didn’t Tell You About Living on Your Own

“Why did no one ever teach us this?” is a common question among young people experiencing the grown-up world for the first time.

Being out on your own for the first time can be tough. It comes with a whole suite of new responsibilities, and they all fall on you.

Once you move out of your childhood home and into your own place, there’s no one to pick up your slack. Even if you live with a roommate, you’re still responsible for keeping your space, your finances and yourself healthy and in order. Taking this all on at once can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re not quite sure how to handle a lot of this stuff.

If you’re living alone for the first time and aren’t sure how to cut a potato properly let alone create a budget that allows you to save for your 401(k), fear not. Everyone figures it out eventually, and we’ve got some tips that will help ease the transition.

What to Stock

First things first: there are some items you’ll need to keep on hand if you want to have a successfully-run home or apartment. You know the basics – chairs, tables, a place to sleep – but there are some odds and ends you might not realize are essential.

Because most people who are just starting out on their own usually don’t have a ton of money to furnish a perfectly-stocked apartment, we’ve broken down what you’ll need, organized by the room. Supplement this list with any items you know you can’t live without.

Kitchen

Pots and pans: Get at least two of each, one large and one small

Cooking tools: Some basics to get you started include a chef’s knife, a paring knife, spatulas (both a metal and rubber one), measuring utensils, a mixing bowl, a colander and a can opener.

Spices: Start with salt and pepper. Add others to your collection as recipes call for them.

Tableware and eating utensils: No paper plates and plastic cutlery! Get a dinnerware set that includes plates, bowls and cups. Or you can save money mixing and matching individual pieces from the thrift store. Just make sure they’re in good condition. You don’t need a huge set unless you plan on hosting large dinner parties. But get a few of each so you have some wiggle room when it comes to doing the dishes. Make sure you have a set of forks, knives and spoons as well.

Cookware can be expensive, and if you’re having trouble pulling together the cash for these items, let the people in your life know you’re moving into a new place and see if they’d be willing to donate any stuff they don’t use anymore.

Bedroom

Two sets of sheets: One to go on your bed, one clean and ready to go for when the other set needs to be laundered.

A bed: Not just a mattress on the floor. Not only can placing a mattress directly on the floor be bad for the mattress, it can expose you to dust and other allergens.

Bathroom

Toilet paper: Buy it in bulk. It doesn’t expire and there’s no chance you’re not going to use all of it. In fact, pack it with your belongings and bring it with you on move-in day. You’ll probably need it before you get a chance to run to the store.

Non-slip bath rug: Not only is a colorful bath rug a cheap and easy way to brighten up your bathroom, but if you get one with non-skid treads on the bottom you’ll give yourself a safe place to dry off your feet after a shower. You’ll prevent a slippery and potentially dangerous floor.

Miscellaneous

Multipurpose cleaner: A spray bottle of cleaning product that works on almost any surface is a must-have for lazy and budget-conscious cleaners alike. Just don’t use it on any surfaces that need special treatment, like wood floors.

Cleaning cloths: You can also use paper towels, but for an eco-friendlier route, buy a pack of reusable microfiber cloths to do your cleaning with.

Basic tools: Having a few commonly-used tools on hand will be helpful for hanging pictures, fixing leaky faucets and the like. For basic projects, get yourself a few different sizes of both slotted and Phillips-head screwdrivers, a hammer, a tape measure, pliers, a utility knife and an adjustable wrench.

Scissors: Easy to forget, but you’ll really feel it when you need a pair and don’t own one.

A step ladder: Don’t climb on kitchen chairs (or worse, rolling desk chairs) and risk hurting yourself when you need to reach something that’s high up.

How to Budget

When you move out on your own for the first time, you’ll likely have to take on a lot of new costs that you aren’t used to having. Between rent, bills, groceries and all the annoying unexpected costs that inevitably come up, you’re going to need to have a plan for how you spend your money.

Thanks to the plethora of budgeting apps available, managing your money is easier than ever. However, you can download as many apps as you want or spend hours painstakingly crafting a personalized budget that accounts for all your expenses, but it won’t help if you don’t actually stick to the plan. That’s why it’s so important to find a budgeting method that works for you.

One popular method is the 50/20/30 rule, where you allocate 50% of your income to living expenses, 20% to savings and debt and 30% for the things you want but don’t necessarily need. You could also craft a budget that prioritizes paying off debt, or one that puts all your extra money toward investing.

If you’re new to budgeting and doubt your organization abilities, start small. Start tracking your spending and evaluate what types of things your income goes to. Learn about what it means to live within your means. Utilize money-saving tricks, like setting up a direct deposit into your savings account or cutting back on your electricity use. Avoid racking up credit card debt.

The most important thing is that you find a budget that fits your specific needs and goals and is realistic. Budgets are like diets: the best one is the one you can stick to.

Whatever your budget, the two most vital things you should prioritize (if you’re not deeply in high interest debt) are building an emergency savings fund and saving for retirement. For your emergency fund, the goal is to have three to six months of living expenses saved up, so if you run into a big life change such as losing your job, you have time to get yourself back on track without being in immediate financial danger. Retirement, though it may seem far off, is equally important. The earlier you start saving, the longer your money has to grow.

How to Keep Clean

When you live alone, there’s no one else to blame when things get messy. There’s also no one else to blame you, which is why so many people who are out on their own for the first time fall into the habit of letting their place get a little – or a lot – messy.

You shouldn’t let stuff build up just because you or your roommates don’t mind living in a messy space. It’s not super difficult to keep your place tidy if you stay on top of it. Plus, some of the things that come along with a poorly-cleaned house like mold and pests are health hazards that can be a serious pain to get rid of.

The best and easiest way to keep your space neat is to clean as you go. Don’t let stuff pile up for “later” (which we all know really means until I have guests coming over and it’s embarrassing). Wipe down the counter as soon as you’re done cooking. Break down pizza boxes for the recycling as soon as you’ve put away your leftovers. Do your dishes as soon as you finish dinner. Re-hang clothes you try on right away. When you let piles of mess build up, cleaning becomes an even more daunting task, making you want to do it even less.

You don’t have to be perfect. People have busy lives. Sometimes, your place will be messy. If you have trouble keeping tidy, here are our basic cleaning tips for the days (or weeks) where you can only do the bare minimum:

Regularly wipe down the items and surfaces you use every day, disinfecting where necessary (this is where a good multipurpose cleaning spray will come in handy).

Food products need to be stored properly or thrown out. Cooked food shouldn’t be left sitting out for more than two hours, as room temperature is the ideal temperature for bacterial growth (the USDA refers to a temperature range between 40 – 140 degrees as the danger zone for food). Leaving food out can also attract pests. Clean up spills and crumbs right away.

Don’t allow dust to collect for too long, especially if you have a respiratory condition.

At least once a week, set aside some time to put things away. Tackle the pile of outfit rejects in your room, sort the mail and return your shoes to their rack. Get rid of any clutter.

If you don’t have time to do the dishes right away, rinse them off as soon as you go to put them in the sink. If you made something that has a tendency to crust, pour some dish soap on the dish and submerge it in water to soak. This will make doing the dishes a million times easier when you get to them.

While you don’t have to do all the dishes right away, any utensils that were used to prep raw food such as meat should be cleaned as soon as you’re done with them.

How to Stay Safe

If you’re out on your own the first time, you’re likely renting your place, meaning that a lot of your security is left up to the rental community you live in. When you’re first searching for places to live, make sure to inquire about a place’s security features before you sign a lease. Are the areas surrounding the building well-lit? Can anyone enter buildings, or do doors require a key? Do they change the locks when a new renter moves in?

While it’s good to live in a place that provides security for its residents, there are ways you can secure your individual unit against intruders.

If your door has a peephole, use it. If it doesn’t, see about getting one installed. If your lease allows for it, install a deadbolt and chain lock if you don’t already have one. Make sure the locks on the windows are in good condition. Consider investing in renter’s insurance, and get to know your neighbors.

One great way to ensure your safety when you’re living on your own is to cultivate a local support system, especially if you don’t have a roommate and are living away from your family and friends. Making friends with a trustworthy neighbor can be invaluable. They can keep an extra set of your keys in case of an emergency and keep an eye out for any suspicious activity while you’re out of town.

When you live alone, it’s important that you keep the people in your life updated on what you’re up to so they know to check in when they haven’t heard from you. If you don’t have anyone in your life you care to share those details with, make friends with a local and make a deal to check in on each other regularly or to let each other know when you’re going somewhere outside of your usual routine.

Be sure you’re staying safe inside your home as well and watch out for common household hazards. Check regularly that your fire and carbon monoxide alarms are working, keep a first aid kit on hand and avoid creating tripping hazards.

Make sure you’re observing basic kitchen safety rules when cooking. Never leave cooking food unattended and know how to use a fire extinguisher. Also, use oven mitts and wash your hands frequently, especially after handling raw meat. Finally, double check that you turned off the burners or stove after you’ve finished cooking.

How to Stay Healthy

This may be one of the more difficult aspects of living alone for the first time, because the only person you’re accountable to on this is yourself. But just because you can get away with neglecting your health doesn’t mean you should.

Visit your doctor at least once a year for a physical. Visit the dentist twice a year. See the eye doctor every one or two years. If you’re at risk for any specific conditions, make sure you’re getting screened as often as is recommended.

At the very least, don’t put off calling and making an appointment when something is wrong. Waiting for an ailment to get better on its own can end badly. By being proactive, you could be saving yourself lengthy and costly treatment, or you could very well be saving your own life.

Educate yourself on how to eat a balanced diet – cooking healthy and affordable meals for one isn’t easy. While conventional wisdom states that it’s generally cheaper to cook your meals than get them at a restaurant, that truth is a little more complicated for single diners who face challenges shopping and cooking for one person when very little food is sold in single-servings. Making unique and healthy meals each day can actually become quite expensive.

To work around these challenges and save money, try cooking one big meal once a week and portioning it out into individual containers for a daily meal. If you need more variety, plan out your weekly meals using recipes with similar requirements. For example, one week you could plan to make mostly chicken-based dishes, using different spices, sauces and sides to have a different dish each night.

Another way to keep your food costs down while eating healthy is to stock your freezer with some basic meal components, like chicken and bagged vegetables, and thaw individual servings as needed. Always keep staples like pasta, beans and rice on hand.

Who to Call

Being the boss of your own household can be a great feeling, but it also means you’re the one who has to step up when everything hits the fan.

From pest infestations to burst pipes and life-threatening emergencies, adult life offers all kinds of unexpected and stressful situations that will pop up when you’re least expecting it. The key is to be prepared and know how to deal with it ahead of time. This is often a matter of having the right phone number.

If you live in an apartment, you already have a great resource when it comes to many of these situations: your landlord or management office. If you’re ever dealing with a non-emergency apartment issue, give them a call and they’ll likely send out their handyman to fix it. If it requires a service not provided for in your lease, they can still let you know who can help you with your issue, and might even be able to provide recommendations.

If you own your home or have a less-than-helpful landlord, you may be stuck dealing with problems on your own. If it’s a simple repair or issue, try using the internet to educate yourself on how to fix it. Or, get some recommendations for a repair professional who can help you (yet another reason to build a local support system – they can give you the lowdown on the best repairmen and mechanics in your area).

Keep any phone numbers you need close by. This includes any numbers you received upon move-in, which will likely tell you who to call if you have repair issues. Get a number for someone you can call for after-hour issues. You probably know to call 911 in an emergency, but find out your locality’s number for reporting non-emergencies, such as a burglary that has already happened, as well.

What to Do When You’re Scared/Lonely/Overwhelmed

When you move out on your own, you become responsible not just for your logistics of living, but for making yourself feel better when you’re not doing well emotionally.

Living on your own, especially if you don’t have a roommate, can feel really great and freeing, but it can also be overwhelming and lonely, particularly when you first move in.

Know that it’s OK to feel overwhelmed or even scared. You will adjust, even if it takes a little while. Eventually, you’ll get into a routine that works for you. You’ll get used to the strange noises your home occasionally makes. You’ll feel confident in caring for yourself.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Don’t let geographical distance get to you. Your friends and family, even those who live far away, are really never more than a phone call or video chat away.

Consider talking to a therapist. Moving out on your own is a big transition, and dealing with the emotions that come with that – both positive and negative – can be overwhelming. A mental health professional can help you sort out your feelings of fear, anxiety or loneliness.

Make sure you’re getting out of the house regularly. Even the most introverted homebodies can start to feel isolated if they only ever leave to go to work or the grocery store. Make sure you’re inviting others over every so often as well. It will feel good to host friends in your space, whether it’s for an elaborate dinner party or a chill movie night.

Most importantly, remember to relish in the freedom of living on your own. If you want to eat dessert for dinner occasionally, no one is there to judge you. If you want to throw a one-person dance party, dance away. Celebrate your independence.

What are your tips for living on your own? Share them in the comments!

The post Things Your Parents Didn’t Tell You About Living on Your Own appeared first on ZING Blog by Quicken Loans.

from Updates About Loans https://www.quickenloans.com/blog/things-parents-didnt-tell-living