#i did makeup on my sister the other day and learnt how lucky i am to have the amount of lid space that i do

[falled-over]

i love my eyebrows

[vanessakirbyfans]

Vanessa Kirby is no Princess Margaret any more. After all, as The Crown star takes on her latest high-kicking role as an Mi5 agent in Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, the only crown jewels are the ones she’s kneeing between the legs. The Queen and Lord Snowdon are gone without a trace and in their place is none other than Jason Statham, her new on-screen sibling, and The Rock, her new love interest. Talk about a holy trinity.

In the talented hands of Vanessa, this is no damsel in a dress, or, in, fact distress. In between dangling out of a moving car shooting a gun and having The Rock caught in a headlock between her thighs, there is real depth to Kirby’s Fast and Furious wing woman. Finally, we have an action heroine we can actually believe in and root for.

Here, in another edition of GLAMOUR Unfiltered - the celebrity interview franchise where guest powerfully open up about the obstacles they have had to overcome– Vanessa discusses overcoming school bullies, body hang ups and how she altered her mindset to seek validation from within… GO VANESSA!

How did you get this high-kicking, badass on for Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw?

I channeled the inner Marge (Princess Margaret). It’s everything she wanted to do to her sister and anyone. It was the inner rage. It was very therapeutic!

When you were filming this, were you ever like, ‘oh my Christ, my life is in jeopardy!’?

Every day. I was constantly in pain, but my sister was in the production team and I had some of my favourite people from The Crown in the costume and makeup department too. So, we had a little crew and we just laughed the whole time at the absurdity of things we had to do.

What’s the key high kicking move you’ve learnt?

It’s the elbow move! The stunt team realised quite early on that my punches would knock nobody out and so they were like, ‘how are we going to make this remotely believable?’ Instead of doing a straight punch, which I tried to do badly, you rotate from the hips and use your whole body. You can’t do a follow through; you’ve got to reverb! It’s also a great dance move!

One of the best lines in the film is, ‘I am done with your alpha male bullsh*t.’ When you came to do a film like this, did you have any reservations about coming into a very male dominated space?

This is part of the reason why I chose to do it and I was really clear about what kind of female she should be. I felt like it was so important as the lead female that she wasn’t falling into any tropes like she’s never got saved by the guys, she was a capable fighter and she never got rescued. I wanted to make her a bit scrappy, weird and not some traditional version of female action we’ve seen before.

Do you have to deal with everyday sexism?

Less so now but for years, yeah! Before the last couple of years, it was on such a subliminal level and it was something that was so accepted. It definitely has changed. Everyday (on this film) I was like, ‘nope let’s not wear this costume, let’s do this!’ There were lots of ways in which we tried to take care of that presence in a movie that’s really about men.

What would happen and what would people say when they were being sexist to you?

Day-to-day stuff that every woman has experienced but also work-wise in terms of the scripts you read. Always without realising she would be the girlfriend. She’d never be out there fighting on the field. She’d be the woman waiting at home to see if the man survived and saved the world for her. That’s the difference now. People are really open to the conversation. Universal is run by a woman who is incredible and she’s so passionately hot on this stuff. Even having a presence like Hattie in a movie like this is unusual and that felt really important for me to take care of as an actress because you can talk about wanting to change things and wanting to represent someone on screen but can you go into a seriously alpha male world that’s generally regarded as testosterone and try and inject a feminine presence into it?

What have you learnt about your power as a woman through Hobbs and Shaw?

I was really hard! Every day we showed up and talked about it. I was able to say what I thought and made sure as a fighter, she got fights that were her own.

The body is looking banging in this! Did you go down the gym?

I did not go down gym! I was at the National Theatre doing this play and eating so much chocolate to get me through it because it was a really tough part and I was not down the gym. They would take me to stunt training in the morning and I would train but I’d be out of breath and all these stunt guys - like the world’s best stunt guys - would be really polite and gracious whilst I was tripping over stuff. I had to squat in front of mirrors and my legs would be wobbling. You feel like such an idiot. I couldn’t do a roly poly at the beginning. I kept going sideways and hurt my head loads. The very first day we shot, we’d finished the last show the day before. We finished on Saturday night and on Sunday morning at 7am, I was on set having to do this one long take in MI6 gear, so I was wearing a helmet, guns everywhere, a balaclava and I had to take out 6 guys and do this flip roll. It was my first day, so I was so scared anyway - no one knows anyone - it’s really awkward and it’s up to me to get it in one take. It was a nightmare. It was like a tortoise when you land on the shell.

You seem very in tune with your body image in Hobbs and Shaw? What has your journey with body image been like?

It’s just an act - I tried really hard to act it. On The Crown I was called Bambi, especially by the costume department - I fell over all the time! So, it was really risky doing a movie like this. With body image, I am always conscious of my bum - my sister is the same. But I have come to realise you only get one and you only get you. You can’t think your way out of it. You have to enjoy it for what it is. I have been trying to do that more and more. I didn’t feel more in tune with it filming this - I was aching so much and hobbling around a lot.

You have gone through a journey of empowerment in your life - you have been bullied at school – what has that road been like for you?

There was a drive in me to prove myself. I have always been really interested in where we feel like we are not enough is who we are. Especially when you are bullied you feel in yourself you are not enough as you are or try to be something different to please other. Whether it’s for friendships or relationships you need to find the best version of you that you are the most comfortable with.

What have been the turning points in your own empowerment?

Working with War Child has changed my life forever. I also think learning to be ok as you are. More and more I try everyday to practice self-care and self-love. I would summarise self-love as sometimes noticing the thoughts that you have about yourself are so negative and more negative than anyone would be to your face. You would never be that negative to someone else. It’s so bazaar we have this inner critic. I used to really struggle with it at work and in my life generally. I have had to really nurture that part and say, ‘why are you doing that, why are you saying that about yourself?’ The practice of catching it and replacing it with something positive is so simple. Would you ever say the things you say about yourself to anyone else? Absolutely never! If were talking to a friend about their fears or anxieties, how would you talk to them? I don’t talk to myself how I would talk to a friend. It’s a key to empowerment is catching that thought.

What do you tell yourself in those moments of self-doubt?

I talk to myself like how I would talk to a small child. If am doubting myself, freaking out or feeling super anxious I go, ‘you are ok, it’s all cool, remember you are enough.’ Because I think we look for outside sources to do that be that validation from relationships, affirmations from the outside too - be that owning things or being something more, achieving something - and those things are transient. They come and they go, they are not constant. But your mind could be if you practice it.

You have become an activist as an ambassador for War Child. Can you remember a moment during that experience that has changed you?

The very first trip with them when I met some of the Syrian refugees. When you actually meet those families, I just felt that parts of me shifted forever. I am so privileged. I am so lucky and live somewhere where I don’t worry about my life every day - as in danger of my actual life. We have freedom and we can choose what we want to do. The refugees come from the most horrific experiences, then they come to camps which some of them have been living in for six and a half years. They are stuck with nothing to do, like a prison. It’s unimaginable. Then you come back here and think, ‘What? Why do I worry about that! I can choose what I eat in the morning. I don’t have the same powdered food every day.’ That’s helped my inner critic. Experiencing the lives of others that are far worse than anything I deal with. It makes anything I have to deal with much easier.

[spoons4spoonies]

Story Time

My secondary school holds a leaving ball for Year 13 students every June after exams are finished. It is a lavish affair with free champagne and a private bar and is run jointly with the boy’s school. The tickets are expensive even if you choose to be sober (like me) or are underage (like a few of my friends), but it’s the last time you will see many of your peers and teachers. Unless of course you are the type to find endless excuses to come back to visit, and are also the type of student that the school wants to visit. It will not surprise you to know that I am both.

Anyway, though there is not technically a dress code (evidenced by the fact that one boy turned up in a long vest as some kind of joke that showed off an unseemly proportion of his chest hair and was skin tight in a very unflattering manner) most girls wear ball gowns and high heels. I myself chose to wear scarlet high heels – the kind that you only wear if you plan to be sitting down most of the evening – and a beautiful dress I’d bought in a sale from my favourite shop. It was black velvet (or velvet style, real velvet no doubt costs more than thirty pounds) with a wide skirt patterned with flowers and birds in gold and red and green thread. My sister was even convinced to wear makeup and do her hair for her ball, probably one of three times I have ever seen her wear eyeshadow.

For many years, it had been tradition for the leaving ball to be held on a river boat on the Thames. No doubt this was the decision of the boy’s school as they had control over all these things. (Just a little casual sexism, but that’s for another day). I had heard many stories about this notorious boat; people getting travel sick from the turbulence, people breaking ankles and other bones falling over getting into the boat (I.e. before they were even drunk! That’s high heels for you I suppose) and of it generally being a bit of a hazard. My sister was certainly fairly unimpressed by it.

As someone who could get motion sick on a bicycle, it is something of an understatement to say I was relieved when they decided to host it in the Museum of London for my year. Though I have to say I didn’t trust my peers to act sensibly around the exhibits once drunk.

I got my hair done that afternoon and my aunt arrived to look after me (I may have been eighteen but even at twenty I am still not entirely trusted on my own) as my parents and sister were attending her graduation ceremony in Cambridge. She received a double first, another in a long line of academic achievements that I will never fail to be proud of her for. I am sad that I couldn’t be there too, but with my energy levels it wouldn’t have been manageable.

I travelled to the ball in style in a black cab with my friend and neighbour who we shall call Corporal for their time spent in the Army cadets. They were wearing a tailored suit bought for them by their godmother that had a Praedae Causa embroidered under the collar – a Latin phrase that we translated to mean “For the sake of the booty”. A very private school joke.

For the first hour we gathered in an upstairs hall where the free champagne was delivered and tap water was surprisingly hard to come by. It was here that our teachers joined us (some for the free alcohol I suspect) and mingling was encouraged. My main concern was the lack of chairs, given my shoes and the weakness of my legs (though I had not yet been diagnosed with POTS at this point, I knew far too well how little I liked standing up for long periods of time). But I remember getting lots of praise for my outfit, something I bask in, and trying to get as many photos as possible with my friends.

A, one of my Kpop friends, was wearing a beautiful traditional sarong in red and gold and had huge false eyelashes on that greatly suited her. I believe this was before she shaved her head for charity so she would have had her long curly hair. N was wearing a lovely red dress – unusual for her – that she had some trouble ordering as the company got the measurements wrong and sent a damaged version. But she looked stunning regardless and she had the luck to be going with her girlfriend – they are still together, and are definitely what one might call couple goals.

Then we were carefully directed downstairs to another room with big, round tables and a section for dancing at the far end. The music they were playing wasn’t the best, as for licensing reasons they could only play covers of pop songs. Mostly I wish they wouldn’t play music at all during dinner as one can’t hear the conversation at all.

First course couldn’t come soon enough – by this point I was starving! – it was gravlax and grapefruit in not exactly generous portions. Luckily, my friends didn’t like raw fish, so I had several helpings! The main course was beef and potato dauphinoise, and again I had several helpings as N had just stopped eating dairy. Then came pudding, the best part of any meal, which was a chocolate brownie, ice cream and some coffee flavoured mousse that I immediately passed off to someone else. I ended up eating more than one brownie, so all in all I certainly got my money’s worth.

Then it was time to dance, and you can bet I was one of the first up on the dancefloor! I had decided that since this was a onetime occasion and I had nowhere to be for the next few days, I might as well go full out and enjoy myself. I naively assumed that I could ignore my energy limits.

After three years, you’d have thought I would have learnt by now…

But I was not to be stopped and I dropped it low on the dancefloor – much easier with high heels as the leg muscles have less work to do – to some classic 2012 hits and spun and jumped and shimmied my way into an asthma attack.

I should clarify at this point that I do not actually have asthma (though I shouldn’t tempt the devil by saying such things) but I had clearly pissed off my body sufficiently that it resorted to drastic measures. It had tried to warn me gently a few times that enough is enough – aching feet, stitch, out of breath, slight back pain, heartbeat out of control, dizziness… I could go on – but since I had ignored all the warning signs it had started banging pots and pans together to get my attention.

Now that I was quite short of breath and it had reached ten thirty, I decided that I had had my fun and that it would be a sensible time to catch a taxi home. Then my breath decided to get a little shorter despite drinking water and sitting down and I began to panic ever so slightly. I went upstairs to get a little cool air, having said my goodbyes to many and various, and was lucky enough to come across E – another Kpop friend and my spoonie buddy – who immediately proffered her inhaler.

This helped with the breathing situation, but it was becoming alarmingly clear that my body was not even halfway done with its little tantrum. For at that moment, I started to come out in hives. Now, this was not the first time I had experienced that dreadful, full body itch of despair and past mistakes – many a nut reaction had induced the same effect. However, I could not for the life of me figure out why I was being cursed with it today.

I had specifically requested a nut free meal, and double checked every course. Hell, I had even eaten two and a half brownies! (Not that that is much of an indication as I have been known to have terrible self-restraint at times). I had no other symptoms (which I suppose I must be thankful for) so it couldn’t have been a nut reaction.

I hastily took some piriteze (I carry them with me everywhere in anticipation of future stupidity) and geared myself up for going home. I was faced with a walk through the dark to the nearest busy road to find a taxi, or waiting long enough for my parents to come pick me up (by this time they had returned from Cambridge). Neither seemed appealing due to the heel situation and my desperation to crawl out of my own skin respectively. I did not feel I could wait any longer before getting in a hot shower and dousing myself in Aloe Vera, but I also suddenly had no energy.

Thankfully help arrived in the form of E’s father as she had also decided to call it a night, and in her naturally mother hen way had taken it upon herself to get me home safe. He drove us back to my house to drop me off and I was hastily bundled into the shower by a loving mother. Soon enough I was back in a cool bed and significantly less itchy.

It was only later, when I mentioned the whole debacle to my specialist, that she revealed the source of my suffering: mould and dust. That’s right ladies, gentlemen and non-binary babes, I had an allergic reaction to a museum.

Not my finest moment.

-Mod H