#i didnt mean I'd date and fuck men bc hell no

[butchcharliee]

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[17gz]

do you mind me asking what just happened w you guys’ roommate? of course lmk if youd rather not talk about it, i just didnt wanna ask about the situation through replies and thought itd be better to ask here in case youd wanna answer privately 🙁 regardless i hope you two are okay

tldr:

a friend i've known for 6 years + the two of us moved into this apartment last summer

i'd lived w this friend a few years before this and i thought they'd grown and worked on shit (boy was i wrong)

things were okay in the first half of our lease, minor problems but it seemed like we had a good foundation laid out for living together and we had plans to renew when this current lease ended

abt 4 months ago, my roommate met this person off a dating app and they basically immediately got together and their partner showed up one day and never left

even after trying to put boundaries down abt this, they didnt listen to any of it

i also don't trust their partner bc everyone thats met them has caught some of their lies. their entire story doesnt check out

the partner (on the day our friend found recent texts on their phone to their ex) got evicted from their old place bc they couldnt pay rent and they kinda cornered us and "asked" if their partner could live with us (not paying any rent btw) and we had rly no choice but to say yes

on top of that, their partner has been fatphobic and shitty and disrespectful to us on a near daily basis. nobody in my friends life likes this partner, not their parents or any of their friends, and especially us. i tried talking to my friend about this and they acted like they took it seriously but clearly didn't...

shit kept building after they were making us feel uncomfortable and intrusive in our own apartment for 4 months, and initially i said we could renew the lease since $875 rent per person sounded tempting + i found this unit + i like this unit + i hate moving, but it just really wasnt a good idea

the final straw was my friends partner being extremely rude and disrespectful to my high school friend during pride (my hs friend is a trans woman) and when we talked to them about it, they denied everything and deflected so fucking hard, we were completely fed up with it and realized that 4 months of this has been hell and i can't do another 12 months of this

last tuesday, we told them that we would not be renewing our lease, which ends july 30. we apologized about the late notice, and explained our side and tried to be as sympathetic and helpful as possible abt them renewing the lease with other roommates, but they were upset and i get being upset, so i was giving them some space etc

we made our conversation as mature and non aggressive as possible, ive been trying to stay as collected and polite as physically possible, especially since we are the only two men in this unit

they started being extremely passive aggressive and rude and awful to us throughout the past week, and even when i was helping them figure shit out with our landlord etc, they were still so rude to us... i mean slamming doors and stomping their feet and rolling their eyes when we walk past and deadbolting the door when we leave the apartment etc

after so much hostility etc in this unit, we stayed with mutual friends for the weekend and we told them abt everything and they were all extremely supportive and said we were not at all in the wrong for this, and that we have been extremely patient with them for so long. even a friend i didnt expect to side with us was 100% on our side and wants to talk to them one on one

we're in the process of applying for a new unit and fingers crossed we can move out asap. we started properly packing today, and during that, our friend asked to talk to us

they asked what we left out of our convo and what personal issues we had, i said i'm not comfortable talking about that until we're in our separate apartments and things have cooled down more. they were really mad that i was firm on that, they accused us of creating the tension and hostility in the apartment, despite the fact that we have actively been avoiding causing shit because our stress levels are through the roof and they're already demonizing us to others bc we put down a boundary, i can't be petty etc and give them an actual reason to demonize us.

as we kept talking, they were like. shaking with rage with a smile on their face and saying passive aggressive shit to us and saying we need to move out sooner than our planned move out date...

important context: my dad is the guarantor, i found this unit, and 99% of the furniture etc we have here is ours.

(disclaimer before i say this, i know various people with BPD. people that will take accountability for their actions and take steps to work on their coping mechanisms and behavior etc.) but this "friend" has BPD that they use as an excuse for every single one of their shitty actions and does not take any responsibility for their behavior. their partner, as far as i know, is not diagnosed with anything and while i'm no psychiatrist, i've had 3 diff people (including my actual psychiatrist) say this is telltale NPD. again not to say that makes you a terrible person, but when you don't take any steps to work on yourself etc and harm others around you, thats what i take issue with. its the definition of a volatile BPD + NPD relationship...

ive also been there for this friend more times than i can count. i've wiped so much snot and tears from their face, i've put aside my own shit to help them and i've done so much for them. thats rarely been reciprocated... they do not give a shit about us and it completely showed today when they talked to us and it became clear they were trying to financially trap us here and they're furious that we put a boundary down. they treat us like their parents, their therapists, and their savings account, and if we EVER did something like that to them, the fallout would be nuclear.

i'm literally shaking typing this and hearing them come out of their room slamming doors and shit. i don't know what they're capable of, and i don't know if they're planning on doing anything, but im afraid because i don't know. i've been having nonstop panic attacks recently and the living situation here is adding immense stress on top of the apt hunting process and moving process. i feel fucking sick genuinely

i'm sure i've left a LOT out, but its been nightmarish here

[checkers-dance]

hello tumblr user checkers-dance. i had a very interesting night on kpop twt tonight. it all started bc ppl were sharing a picture of eunwoo wearing a shirt that said "would you be my boyfriend? girlfriend? queerfriend?" and usually ppl could say it was just something his stylists made him wear but he was wearing it in his free time. im not super familiar with how fluent eunwoo's english is, but i saw someone say he can speak it pretty decently so he MIGHT know what the shirt says. i didnt think too much of this, i just thought it was a sweet gesture of him. so im reading the comments and they're talking about other cool supportive things some astro members have done like when MJ played a gay person in a play he was in (hes such a legend, i love him) and i find out moonbin ALSO played a gay chara in like 2019? didnt know about that but iconic, astro loves gay people, whats new. i keep reading what ppl are saying and then i see someone say "didn't he literally say he was open to dating men and women one time?" this obviously gets my attention so i go on a journey to find what this person is talking about. while im at it i find a clip of eunwoo and moonbin kissing that i hadn't seen before. love is winning, but i can't be distracted, so i keep going. FINALLY i find the clip but it's only a few seconds long and i have no idea what the rest of the conversation was about. anyway, in the video he says a word that gets translated as PMN and after that he says something about "both men and women." i google the word. all the results are about blood cells??? clearly not what he was talking about... so i need to know what that word means but i also want the full context, so i keep searching until i find a longer version of the video. FINALLY i do and he's initially talking about a girl he used to have a crush on which is KEY to me, because it means the conversation was specifically about romance. but i need to keep looking for what that fucking word means. i find the way it's written in korean and i google it and most of the results i'm getting are discussing the word in a romantic context. BASICALLY the simplest way i can describe it is that it means you're not interested in "artificial" meetings like blind dates and instead would rather meet a partner naturally. MOST of the results i get for the term seem to imply the term is romantic in nature. at this point i'm losing my mind.

there IS a possibility he meant it in a platonic sense??? idk how much the term is used outside of romantic encounters bc literally every definition i could find was about dating, but maybe he just worded it strangely? i'd find it bizarre for a kpop idol and actor to casually mention he's into men in national tv and for no one to bat eye.

ON THE OTHER HAND. he WAS talking about dating throughout the conversation. and he used a term that as far as i can find is heavily associated with romance. i also find it odd for him to be having a conversation about crushes and dating and then just suddenly bring up men UNLESS that was what he meant. i wouldn't be surprised if the people in the show didn't catch the implication, that happens.

SO BASICALLY. it's hard to say what he meant LOL, any guess is as good as any. i'm SKEPTICAL, but it sure as hell is interesting lore that will keep me up. idk, gayer things have happened in kpop history that people wrote off as straight even though that's clearly Not what was going on so yknow, i would not be surprised. i didn't expect a shirt to send me into this rabbithole but here i am 💀 MY personal conspiracy theory is that he did mean it that way but he let it slip accidentally and somehow no one thought twice about it. like that would be funny to me. good for him if true.

HELP THE "love is winning but I can't get distracted" PART... But ghskfkskfks I love how u went on an entire hunt for this. Yeah, good for him if true, and if not u've gained more knowledge of astro lore