#i didnt wsnt to get judged

[sunspill]

after I can like move around and sit up better aka after this surgery I've decided a new goal is to try to game collaboratively aka gaem w friends.

[perillaleafs]

For the ask game: literally i'd find it super interesting if you answered all of them?? haha sorry if that's too much

aaa im yelling im on it! im love doin them ilysm!

1. describe your idea of a perfect dateuhh dinner date? or just walkin around w snacks, maybe a picnic?

2. whats your “type”fuck i have No idea like. people sre nice and if youre good at hugs and you can ground me abd give me support abd have my back… hell yeah.

3. do you want kids?no. i have a lot of grief cause i have a lot of pride in knowing languages and im just not like. able to pass that on and i really dont want them to feel alienated with having an identity as a poc, depending on who/what/how whatever happens w kids. also i just dont like babies and i dont wsnt to raise a child. hmu with puppies or kittens tho

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?^^

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been onwent to starbucks in october last school year and we shared a hoy choc and she held my hand.

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)im still 16 im not gna answer this one. also irl people follow me

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?night! time! if u see me awake at like 5 am, its cause i havent gone to bed

8. opinion on nap dates?yes love it?? nevr done one before but im want one

9. opinion on brown eyes?yes?? uhm??? underrated. also brown eyes are so nice esp when theyre like dark and they look really black and they reflect like everything

10. dog gay or cat gay?both? im an indecisive asshole

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?yes?? i want a reptile when im an adult or st. i think geckos are cute n so are snakes.. rodents are good i love rats and i love lil mice and buns and god i Love animals

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someoneat least somewhat similar in political/social thoughts like. idk i tend to not get along w people when theyre all “communism sucks and im 200% a liberal!”

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?shit idk ive been gay since i was 11 and i have no memory

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger selffuck it youre not cis. also everything isnt supposed to be that bad. looking back everything suckd and it still does! but things will gradually get better and you will feel a little better and you will mess up and there will be bad days/weeks/months. but things will turn out alright. be patient.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?yessssss for sure!! idk how to go in depth cause i am basically a child

16. who is an ex you regret?i literally have not been jn a legit relationship, i had a secret one that i tried to keep on the dl in 7-8th grade, my parents still dont know about it :0anyways i wish i didnt do that and that i uh. avoided that. i was a gay kiddo in middle school tho. hm. mixed feelins bout this one

17. night club gay or cafe gay?cafe!! went to a gay kids night at a local night club and my anxiety was uh. comment dit on “very bad”

18. who is one person you would “go straight” forfuck everythings gay when youre not a binary person. but this boy named rowan at my school i guess. hes like high all the time but hes rlly hot. bad rep with dating though so idk.

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?olive the above assholes

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)hm. dont judge me on this one but klance from voltron is cute. also korrasami

21. favourite gay youtuberi dont watch youtubers specifically!! i stick to animal vids and music lyric videos and shit. idk.

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?no i have anxiety

23. have you ever been in love?i dont think so?, like i have nt seriously done anything™ so how would i know.. u know? but i just dony think so.. not yet at least..

24. have you ever been heartbroken?tbh? yeah recently i was mega crushing on a boy i was friends w and i was ready to go but i found out he had a girlfriend so :/ its ok. in hindsight if i did ask him out, i doubt anythhing good wouldve happened

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someonemake lists. also talkin it out and thinkin bout it for a long time and seeing how you feel about similat people that you have Definite feeling about ie. i figured out i wanted 2 be the boy i mentioned above cause basically i was jealous his voice dropped and mine cant rn cause im not doin hrt stuff yet :/

26. favourite lgb musician/bandjanelle monae is my wife

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gaysbe patient. like theeres this feeling of euphoria when u figure out like “o thats me! i am (whatever u identify as)” and its great! but know thats not forever and know yhat things change a lot and things will just kinda.. sink in. just be patient and go with whatever happens yknow. like chill. relax. have a nice time

28. are you out? if so how did you come outyeah! i uhhh have been out 2 school people thru social media and whatnot and just.. having a gay aura in general. but i gave my parents a letter to read

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have my art teacher was like.. “……. so u use they/them pronouns right………..” and all i said was “ya” and that was it

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexualityfuck. tbh i dont know cause i got really lucky with parents/school/having support. but know its temporary. things will be better. just hold on

[tofixityouendedit-blog]

things have been going alright.  theres not a lot to talk about i guess.  been spending more time at norahs than i probably should b e.  she was sick though and wanted me there so who was i to be like nah i wont come over.  but i just get worried she’ll get sick of me around too much and push me away.  or when i do tour itll be too hard on her, ill feel guilty, and it’ll be the whole thing with chloe all over again where she hates me for leaving her and picking the band over her.  its not gunna be awhile though.  these festivals are our last rounds of the chemical miracle before we start launching the new shit. im pretty nervous about that.  each album is a step in a new direction, its different from our first.  which, lets be real, our first wasn’t our best- but people judge it like that. that whole “they dont sound the same” shit well yeah cause we care more and aren’t rushed and we’re better musicians now than when we were 19 you know. 

but norah and me? we’re good. the sort of good where you know its gunna be good for awhile. where i dunno what could fuck us up. ive told her shit about my mom and dad, drugs and money, and she doesnt care.  i didnt tell her i steal shit to keep the money coming in, but she doesn’t look down on me for not having a lot or even having a place.  she doesnt think im a shitty guy cause i wsnt htere while my mum had cancer or how i can never see my dad as a father. she just gets me in that way i know its good for a long time.  time and distance are my only enemy, like always.