#i do bet that for the first couple of hours right after waking up Freya is low-key a psychotic serial killer mentally

[6blackfilin9]

i realised that either i publish this already or i’m just forever stuck with this thing

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part VI

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1567.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

________

You spent the rest of your evening like a somnambulist, barely able to concentrate on your projects before you went to bed, barely finishing half of the things you planned for today. Even the change of locks didn't make you as happy as you thought it would. It felt like something between a dream and a nightmare.

Lying in the dark, you stared at the ceiling, thinking of what happened just a couple of hours ago. Why did he do it? Was it just out of habit and didn’t mean anything? Naturally, with his appearance and easy-going attitude, he probably dated many girls and didn’t think much before kissing someone he liked.

Remembering the way he talked to you in the morning, you thought he must have pretended to be shy around you. Thor certainly wasn’t sheepish.

Was it all a sham? Was Loki right about all of them, playing their roles to get close to you? You couldn’t forget the way Thor looked the moment he told you about being smart. It was like something switched inside him, and for a second you saw the real Thor who was far from being your simple, good-natured athlete.

Why did you keep thinking about that stupid kiss even after seeing the man could be dangerous?

Aroused and angry, you tossed and turned until you fell asleep.

____________

Waking up was especially tough, despite the fact you didn't really do much yesterday, meaning you were going to spend your weekend studying. Shoot, and that's when you planned to visit that new chocolate boutique in the city. Maybe you could still make it if you spent more time studying today?

But then again, going to the city alone might be a bad idea. Even if the guys who stole your things were beaten, it didn't mean it had always been the same people following you. The school was full of weirdos, in the end. What if somebody went after you? Steve would definitely say you had to bring one of your guards with you.

Damn. It was better staying in the dorm then.

"Good morning! Are you ready?" Peter's voice broke through the silence, and you flinched, hurriedly applying some lipstick because you didn't have enough time to put your makeup properly.

Well, at least you were fully dressed.

"Just give me a second!" Picking up your bag, you put your shoes on and opened the door, looking at a young guy who's face was lit up like a Christmas tree. "Hi!"

He definitely liked what he saw, and you felt your cheeks growing hot from embarrassment. From the very start of the semester Peter acted very sweet around you, and you thought you could be friends with him. He wouldn't do something as ugly as blackmailing, would he? Thor said it too. Clearly, Steve was exaggerating.

"Did you sleep well? I've heard you changed your lock, so now it'll be better."

"Ugh, I hope so. But I still sleep with my dresser blocking the door." Sighing, started walking, afraid to look in the faces of other students, hurrying off to school.

They must have been disgusted, watching you being friendly with one guy after being all lovey-dovey with the other just yesterday. Although you didn't see anyone in particular, you were sure somebody saw Thor kissing you. And now you were walking the corridors with Peter.

"By the way, what's your Insta?"

What? Your Instagram? Whatever for? Although you had no idea why he needed it, you let him add you, by the time leaving the dorm and walking towards the main building.

Suddenly, Peter got pretty close, his arm on your waist as he lifted up his phone and hummed, "Look here and smile!"

Before you realized what he was doing, the boy kissed your temple, and you heard the sound of a photo being taken by his front-facing camera. What the Hell?!

"Peter!" Pissed at him, you quickly break free and stepped back, but he was already looking at his phone, editing the photo and posting it almost immediately.

You heard your phone buzz when he marked you on the photo.

"That's a good one. You look very cute here."

"What are you doing?!"

"Making a proof we're dating, of course?"

You were taken aback by the sincerity in his voice, and Peter smiled from ear to ear like an excited teenager, showing you the picture: it wasn't that bad, and you looked as if you were slightly embarrassed by Peter's closeness. Oh, of course. He had to convince his friends he was dating you, but he didn't kiss you on the lips that could make other people too suspicious. Instead, friends of Barnes or, say, Thor, would still think it was all for show, and it was their friend who dated you for real.

Shit, Steve's plan was incredibly complicated, and you didn't like it at all.

"Oh, alright." You mumbled, lowering your eyes to the ground, and Peter laughed.

"We'll make a TikTok dance later. If you wanna make people talk, just use your social media." He winked at you and put the phone in the pocket of his pants, resuming walking, and you moved along, your face still hot.

God, what did these guys got you into? You felt like you were lost in the middle of a play, not even having a script to read what was your role in all this.

Before you parted your ways, going to a different classrooms, Peter talked about videogames, the upcoming Resident Evil - apparently, his favorite franchise - and some Dota tournament, but you didn't know much about it, and Peter offered to show you his favorite games "because you can't spend all your time studying!"

He was as careless and sweet as always, but you couldn't get Steve's words out of your mind. Damn, if only you could know for sure that Peter didn't blackmail anyone. Who could you talk to about it? Obviously, not Peter himself, but every time he spoke you had that nagging feeling you needed to talk to him. You barely kept your mouth shut before he went to a different room.

Ugh, why didn't you transfer anywhere else when you still had a chance? Obviously, now you could only drop out of school, and it definitely wasn't something you were going to do.

Luckily, the next couple of hours you were busy with your classes, trying your best to prepare for the upcoming exams. The academy held high standards, and even though you were a good student, it still took lots of efforts to keep up the good work. How Thor even managed to get enrolled, judging by the fact he hated studying and often skipped classes?

Ah yes, he mentioned something about getting a scholarship from the academy for his success in the sport.

By the lunch time you were drained, listening to Peter chatting with an absent-mindedly epxression on your face. Funny enough, Peter's grades were better than yours, even though he spent much less time studying. What, was he some genius like Loki? You felt a little envy.

"I gotta go take my tracksuit, I have PE next," the boy said, and you nodded, throwing away the leftovers of your lunch.

As you stood close while he grabbed his sportclothes, you heard two guys talking behind the lockers to your right.

"Have you seen her today? She's with Parker!"

You tensed immediately. Of course, they were talking about you.

"Yeah, so what?"

"She was with Thor yesterday!"

Watching you froze on the spot, Peter stilled too, listening carefully. Oh shit, you hoped no one cared about who you went with - why should they, in the end - but, apparently, you were drawing too much attention simply because you were a girl among hundreds of male students.

"So what?" The other guy asked impatiently, growing tired of this conversation.

"Are you stupid? She's going out with them! I bet she's looking for a guy." The first student said with excitement, and you cringed. No, you weren't going out with anyone, you wanted to stop the weirdos from following you and steeling your things. Was it too much to ask?

"Yeah, who cares?"

"We have three fucking girls in the whole school, and you don't care if one of them could be going out with you? Besides, this one's pretty. I'd fuck her!"

You felt like you were going to puke any moment. Why on Earth did you decide to transfer to an all-boys school? It was like the whole school were a men’s room filled with stupid-ass guys, and you were locked inside, forced to listen them talk junk.

"You'd fuck a sheep, weirdo. Go get yourself a girlfriend if you can’t stop thinking with your dick.”

Laughing, the guy left, and his friend followed him, shouting something stupid while you breathed out a sigh of relief. Of course, you knew there would be some talk, but you didn’t expect it to be so... gross. Were you really gonna spend the two remaining years here?

Watching you getting frustrated, Peter gently touched you by the arm and said softly, “Don’t worry. They won’t talk rubbish about you.”

“What do you mean?” Suddenly thinking of Steve’s words, you blurted out exactly what you were thinking of the whole day, “Are you going to blackmail them with something?”

“I... what?”

Part VII

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Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi

[mybumpbirthandbeyond]

Born in a Blaze of Glory

After my physio consult, I finished up that day for maternity leave. The next couple of days were actually quite busy though, as it was my husband’s birthday and my mum’s 60th. As my mum provides childcare for Cailean once a week, she is part of our extended household so we had plans over that weekend. My husband finished up for annual leave that weekend so it meant it would lead nicely into paternity. 

I probably didn’t relax much until during the following week, but even then not nearly as much as I would have liked. Cailean became ill and started teething again really badly. There were a couple of days where he tested the boundaries on top of that and it led to a stressful few days. I was convinced I was going to catch it and wouldn’t be able to breathe properly if I went into labour. I kept saying out loud - “I will never go myself at this rate because I’m too stressed and not relaxed at all.” Alex was very good at trying to talk me round. He knew my first birth had gone so well because of hypnobirthing, and a positive mindset is key. 

The Sunday before, Cailean seemed to have turned a corner and we had a lovely walk with the dogs. Monday we again felt he had improved even more and we had another nice family dog walk. It was still manageable for me but I’d bet I was sporting a pretty good pregnancy waddle at that point 😂 

Monday night I didn’t feel great at all. I felt like my tummy was sore - more digestion than anything else, but my plan to do prehab that night went out the window and I ended up in the bath instead. Waking up on the Tuesday, my tummy felt slightly better but I still didn’t feel 100%. I felt quite a bit of pressure at the bump a few times in the morning but it just felt uncomfortable. It’s that feeling you get when the baby presses outwards and the bump goes rock solid before they move again - that was the feeling I had. 

We took the dogs on the walk and I said to Alex I wonder if these are Braxton Hicks contractions? I hadn’t ever had them with Cailean so didn’t have a clue, but they weren’t regular or painful so I assumed that was it. We dropped Cailean at my mum’s so we could do a few things that afternoon - we were going to the supermarket then I was going to do the ironing while Alex did the hoovering. Exciting I know!!! But hard to do when you have a toddler and I was heavily pregnant. 

We stopped by a friend’s house to drop a gift off for her and her new baby. She asked how long I had to go and I said I was 39 weeks that day. I was due to see my midwife following the consultant review that afternoon. 

We stopped in at Asda on the way home and the pressure feeling came back. It happened a few times and my husband joked, “wouldn’t it be funny if we’re walking round Asda and you’re in labour?!” Little did I know how right he was!! 

We got to the checkout and I felt decidedly more uncomfortable. I told Alex I didn’t think this was Braxton Hicks after all and we had to get home sooner rather later. When we got in the car we saw a police van and Alex joked we might need a blue light escort if this is it. That was the last time I was able to laugh or crack jokes. 

When we got home I had planned to have lunch but the baby had other ideas. When I got into the kitchen the realisation that I was in active labour hit and I had to continuously breathe in and out to cope with the intensity. This felt entirely different to the build up I had with Cailean - there seemed to be no let up between contractions and I was starting to think I wouldn’t be able to cope nearly as long if this was how it was going to go. I didn’t really need it to tell me, but within the space of 5 minutes, the Freya app told me I was in established labour and to call the hospital. 

Alex very soon realised this was the real deal and started packing the car. I don’t know how, but I somehow managed to climb/crawl upstairs and grab the last few things that I hadn’t been able to pack in the hospital bag last minute. When I got downstairs and we were ready, I tried calling the hospital but after three tries there was still no answer. The hospital is 20 minutes down the motorway so Alex said we’ll call from the car. 

I don’t know how I managed to get in the car, and I don’t know how I survived that journey. I was hugely uncomfortable in the seat and had the Freya app playing through the car the whole way to try and relax. Every contraction Alex was trying his best to get to me relax my shoulders but it was so intense and there was no respite. I felt that if this was how it would be for hours on end, I wasn’t sure if I’d cope. 

I eventually got hold of the midwife led unit on our way. With Cailean, I had a few contractions during the call but the midwives had no clue. This time, I could barely gasp out my answers. Thankfully, the midwife seemed to realise this was the real deal, and asked me very few questions. I said if there was any way I could have the room with the pool I would appreciate it. 

For the most part I had to keep my eyes shut for the entire journey and focus on my breathing. I’m not lying when I say with each contraction, it felt like I was on fire down below. I knew the traffic was quite heavy - it was after 2pm on a Tuesday and I didn’t want to know how far we had to go. I was aware at roundabouts and traffic lights when we stopped, but eventually I felt the familiar hard right turn a few minutes from the hospital and then could see the entrance to the maternity unit. 

Unhelpfully, the maternity side of the hospital is on a hill up from the car park. I joked last time it felt like the green mile trying to get up there while in labour. I can’t even describe what it felt like this time. 

We got parked straight away and tried to steel myself for the climb up but things changed instantly when I got out the car. I leaned against it and told Alex the pressure was unbearable and then I felt it - I was pushing. This was probably the point that I started to worry - the hospital was so close but it felt a million miles away and I wasn’t sure I’d make it. I started to walk at a snails pace uphill. Alex had the bags but I barely made it halfway when a couple stopped to ask if we needed help. I couldn’t speak at this point so Alex thanked them and said we were fine. 

I stopped at the pedestrian crossing and Alex told me he was going to go and get me a chair. The idea of sitting knowing I was pushing terrified me and I told him no. He told me this isn’t about pride but I could barely explain my reason - I let my pride get in the way some times and I’m extremely stubborn, but this was nothing to do with it I just couldn’t speak at that point. 

He ran into the hospital where the antenatal clinic was - the delivery unit is the second floor and is locked, so you have to be buzzed in. I stayed where I was and this kind lady came up and offered to take the bags to the doors for us. I could barely speak to thank her. Thankfully I could see Alex come out and three midwives were running towards me with a chair. They started to support me onto the chair when more midwives came running out with a bed across the road. 

I don’t know how I managed to get on the bed. It took every piece of strength and willpower to get me there but they immediately started pushing me towards the hospital. The door opened and I was wheeled into the lift. The midwives (I have no idea how many) were doing what they do best: reassuring me and trying to keep me calm and telling me to breathe through it. When we got out of the lift I heard them say “we’re almost there, we’ve got the room ready for you.” I was vaguely aware of Alex stopping at the desk to see if they needed anything from him as I was wheeled into the room where I gave birth to Cailean. I was so relieved to get the pool room, only to realise I would not be using the pool that day. 

Two midwives introduced themselves and helped me get onto the bed in the room from the gurney. I don’t think I even saw their faces. That took momentous effort at that point. I managed to gasp in between contractions - “if I’m going to tear I want an episiotomy.” The midwife told me she would only be doing one if she felt the need to, but by that point I probably wasn’t paying attention. She said we will try to help avoid that. At this point I still had my jeans on. I genuinely felt it required superhuman strength to get them off. I had been on all fours since getting on the gurney in the car park and this was how I stayed on the delivery bed. I couldn’t comprehend moving even if I wanted to. One of the midwives asked if I wanted the back of the bed up to lean against which I did. The problem was my hair was down and is ridiculously thick so I was roasting leaning against it. 

The minute I got my jeans off, the midwives said the head was coming and the baby wasn’t far away. If I had any awareness of what was going on, I may have marvelled at the speed at which this was happening, but I was too busy breathing to listen to what was going on around me. 

There are two types of breathing from the hypnobirthing course I did in both pregnancies  from the Positive Birth Company - ‘Up breathing’ for when the cervix is dilating in the first stage of labour, and ‘Down breathing’ for the pushing stage. The idea with down breathing is that you send your breath down towards the uterus to give the muscles as much oxygen as possible so they are working efficiently and effectively. Because there really was no break between contractions, I was constantly trying to send my breath downward. 

I suddenly became acutely aware that I hadn’t had gas and air and I had planned to use that as pain relief just as I had with Cailean. Almost instantly I knew I was doing this without pain relief and that wasn’t going change - this baby was coming and I didn’t think there was time. I was just going to do it myself. 

The ring of fire is something I experienced last time, but not to the same extent. I was in the pool when the midwife told me “I’ll give you one more push but otherwise I need to do an episiotomy to avoid you going to theatre.” I didn’t get one more push - I told her to do it and somehow got out of the pool, crossed the room and managed to get on the bed with Cailean’s head crowning. 

This time I knew we were at the point that if I needed an episiotomy it would have to happen soon. I asked once more - do I need one? The midwife told me the position I was in it would be hard to control what happened and I would have to go with my body. It would be easier lying on my side or or sitting. As much strength as I had had to get on the gurney, get on the delivery bed and get my jeans off, I knew the last of my strength would not be used to changed position - it would be to push this baby out. 

With each contraction I was bracing my arms against the bed and taking the weight of my upper body. I have no doubt that staying active and strong in this pregnancy allowed me to do that for what seemed like hours (reality was somewhat different). The tricep dips, the bicep curls, the shoulder presses, the tricep extensions - all of those exercises kept my arms strong enough to take the weight when I needed to. 

I vaguely remember a third midwife coming into the room. I just knew immediately she was very experienced by her tone and the way she spoke to me. She commented on the baby’s head of hair and asking if we knew the sex. Alex told her we didn’t. I was aware someone was supporting my perineum - I found out afterwards it was a student midwife and what an incredible job she did! The experienced midwife moved to my side and gave me encouragement. “We’re going to breathe this baby’s head out Claire.” On each contraction she was encouraging me and telling me to “breathe, breathe breathe.”

The third midwife had obviously left the room and come back as I heard her say “I thought we might have a baby by now.” I knew it was at the point I had to do it on the next contraction. I didn’t want coaching and I didn’t want to be told how long they were going to give me - this was happening now. Somehow I mustered every remaining ounce of strength and my baby’s head was born. Alex told me the baby had chubby cheeks and I knew I had done it, and without an episiotomy. 

On the next contraction the baby was born and Alex told me it was a girl. It came as a complete surprise to both of us. I had never had a feeling one way or the other but there had been a few different symptoms this time. Alex switched day to day on what he thought, but by the end he was convinced it was a boy. 

I managed to turn around and she was immediately put on my chest. Her cord was quite short and had apparently been wrapped around her stomach when she was born so they decided  to cut it slightly quicker than the 5 mins, which Alex did. 

The experienced midwife examined me and told me the news - no tears. Two grazes - one labial and one perineal but that was it. “You breathed that baby out like a superstar. You can come again!” 

It was only at the moment that the realisation hit me: I didn’t get my water birth, but there were no tears, no episiotomy and no pain relief. I almost gave birth in the hospital car park and this was the quickest and most intense labour I ever could have imagined. I felt superhuman and in complete disbelief. My first birth was almost perfect, and somehow I had topped it. 

There were a few ironies on that day that I was able to reflect on afterwards. Emily was born 4 minutes after I was due to see my community midwife at my 39 week appointment. I had previously said to Alex that if there was any question on Emily’s position, I would request a scan in labour. I didn’t even think of that until after I had given birth and she came out occipito anterior, NOT breech. And that information that a woman with diastasis as bad as mine couldn’t give birth vaginally???? How’s that working out??? Twice. I have now given birth vaginally twice - both times I had a significant diastasis, I just didn’t know it the first time. 

I had lost less than half of the blood I lost last time and my blood pressure was not anywhere near as low as last time. I was in complete shock. This had all happened so fast. I told the midwives I was meant to have a community midwife appointment and had she been told. They told me they didn’t have time to put anything in my notes so they had to do it after. I later discovered they couldn’t get my blood pressure because it was so fast and didn’t get the baby’s heartbeat as often as they would normally. 

Emily Lynsey Black was born in a bit of a blaze of glory as it turned out. My kind of girl 🤩 I discovered after the birth that in total, all three stages of labour were recorded as under 3 hours. 2 hours 52 minutes to be precise. The pushing stage was recorded as just 13 minutes. No wonder she was almost born in the car park! 

If my husband was bricking it when I didn’t make it out the car park, he didn’t show it. I have flashbacks still of him sprinting into the hospital. His job requires him to keep a cool head, but when we had read other similar birth stories the last time, he was pretty adamant he wouldn’t be comfortable with those scenarios. He did an incredible job for the second time as my birth partner and I don’t think I could have done it without him. 

Not everyone is lucky enough to have the birth they want once, let alone twice. I may never had the water birth I wanted, but both of my births couldn’t have gone better and this one taught me how powerful the body is. Some thought it was impossible for me to have a vaginal birth. That my body was broken and couldn’t do it’s job. Well my body and my girl proved them wrong. My ‘weak’ body had strength that surpassed anything I could have thought possible. Just when I thought I couldn’t cope, I did and just when I thought it wasn’t possible to do it on my own, I did. My diastasis pre-pregnancy meant I wasn’t in the same place in this pregnancy as a starting point, and yet I still managed to cope with an incredibly intense labour. 

This was a lesson to me. Last time I had no idea what was to come in the shape of my diastasis. I felt my body was broken and I had no idea how or why. It would be immensely disrespectful to what my body has accomplished to think like that this time. Despite everything, once again, my body safely carried my baby and carried out what felt like a miracle. I have a new found respect that goes far beyond aesthetics and progress pictures. Knowing what my body can accomplish under the intensity of labour, I now know there is no limit to what my body can do on this next stage of the journey if I respect it and the process. That will carry me through as I embark on the next stage and beyond.