#i do however happily have zero thoughts about rewatching the last video and seeing it when i go to his channel still makes me feel like— | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transphilza · 2 years

Note

ive been missing him too, today. i rewatched the tournament video with calvin and nestor this morning, one of my favorite videos of his, and i cried through all of it. we're all in this together, its okay. take care of yourself :)

❤️❤️ that video is sooo good the vod of it is one of my favorites!! sendin love your way nonnie, we push on together :)

#i’m surprisingly stable (not in tears) today so far to be honest. just sad #cw grief #talking #anon #side note i keep getting borderline intrusive thoughts telling me to rewatch the video where he told us he was sick and i simply don’t know-#-why my brain would want me to do that. i had those thoughts even Before he passed away #i do however happily have zero thoughts about rewatching the last video and seeing it when i go to his channel still makes me feel like—#—my soul dropped out of my body and the world had ended but well that’s an ongoing issue we cope with

9 notes · View notes