#i dont know if this appeals to anyone but Me and My specific hcs. whatever. my blog my bullshit

[kamuikunt]

he doesnt.

[eledritch]

*slides into your inbox* demisexual Keith you say?? He is in my mafs fic too! I'm not sure I'm doing him justice though... Do you have any advice on how to write him?

right so this just turned into a long long post about being demi….

aw it’s v sweet of you to ask…honestly I just self-project onto Keith so hard; I identify as demi (demiromantic or demisexual we just don’t know, maybe both) and it just made a lot of sense for me the more i thought in (too much) depth about Keith’s characterization. Keep in mind that demi-ness is a spectrum and this is just my experience with it.

I guess one of the things is that Keith has this very defined sense of like, setting aside his own personal wants/needs/feelings/safety/etc for others, specifically uhh those who are very important to him (ahem SHIRO, but also applies to his BoM adventures rip Regris). And not to say that that’s a characteristic of everyone demi at all, but for me personally that really resonated in the context of feeling that my own wants/needs were unimportant/secondary/silly. 

I never knew how to talk about it, explain it, so I just kinda kept quiet. It’s weird being demi bc it’s such a ~mysterious~ gray area, and it’s hard to explain to people, especially paired with me being bi (I hc Keith as bi and demi as well). Because bisexuality has a (stupid) reputation for being synonymous with promiscuous while demisexuality is like, “i dont get what you mean are you just super picky??” and im over here like I DONT KNOW MY DUDE IT’S JUST WHAT I FEEL and i think keith would relate to that. 

bc I didn’t even know about the concept of demisexuality until I was, man, like 16 or 17 at least?? So it’s very weird growing up and knowing that your libido/sexual awakening or whatever is distinctly different from your peers and what you’re being taught. I found myself lying constantly about crushes and things like that when I was in elementary/middle school especially - all my friends would cycle through crushes with frequency that was kind of alarming and very confusing to me hahaha I was always a lot more focused on…aesthetic beauty if that makes sense? Yet I was quite aware of my own libido/changing body/kinks/whatever, they just weren’t aimed at anyone else, ya know? All that stuff was very…contained and internalized.

Like, before I really came to terms with the fact that I’m bisexual, I was struggling to explain to my best friend (who had just come out to me as bi, LMAO WE FLOCK TOGETHER) how I rarely find people sexually attractive, even if I may toy with the idea/fantasy of doing sexual or romantic things with people, usually people already close to me, those aren’t things I would ever act on or ever want to act on. I just have a very active imagination, if you haven’t already guessed. Anyway, yes, I find many people aesthetically attractive, as in I would love to draw them or take photos of them bc I just admire how they look and how they’re, uhh…put together? Sounds weird but that’s all I got haha. 

Demi Keith also makes a lot of sense to me in the context of Sheith specifically because, okay, again with the self-projecting - in all my 19 years, I’ve only had crushes on 2 people (…possibly comin up on a third rn…..), one of which was bc of an unhealthy af friendship/defensive coping mechanisms, but the other of which lasted throughout ALL of middle school and was just, REALLY INTENSE FEELING. I was (middle-school version of in love) in love with this kid, but we were friends first, and he actually found out I was smitten with him, and guess what? We actually became closer friends, and I was really content with that. And my friends all thought that was weird that I wasn’t gunning to date him and flirting/constantly all up in his business. 

But I was like, why would I do that?? He knows how I feel, we’re comfy as friends, we trust each other and talk about deep stuff, we hug and hang out and he invited me to his bar mitzvah so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bc I felt fulfilled in that friendship with everything just being entirely platonic. Dating doesn’t hold the same appeal to me as it does for my friends and sister and the people around me. 

Additionally, I’ve never understood when people i.e. my roommates make goals that are like OK THIS QUARTER, NO BOYS, GOTTA FOCUS ON SCHOOL. bc im like um. that’s. what??? Like, I get it hahah but attraction and crushes and flings have never been that important to me and factor very little into my plans for the future. If I wanna focus on academics, I’m gonna focus on academics. And I think Keith has that same mindset, whether with academics or piloting or Voltron or BoM or whatnot. 

If a Shiro walked into my life, I would still be focusing on academics. With significantly more pining, yes, but ya know. Books before dicks (im so sorry). However, if that Shiro suddenly disappeared, damn right I would feel like my world’s axis had just shifted. Because with being demi, for me at least, we may not feel attraction very often but when we do it’s like, WHOA, BAM. Which I think is uhh also very Keith :’D

I hope that MAYBE helped??? there’s so many possible interpretations of demisexuality tbh!