#i dont want this to come of as if i didnt like lexa cause i did

[warriornunsgirlfriend]

We literally just finished s2, so she watched the two seasons in 5 days. Love that journey for them. Best part is, she didnt even know the betrayal was coming?? I thought it was common knowledge cause tumblr, but no. Had no idea, total surprise, they freaked out, it was awesome.

I think that Lexa's death is very very clear that like. She dies because she believes that the world should and could be better, that maybe people dont deserve to die constantly and be tough to survive, and that maybe love is something she can have. So even when you know she dies, the way and the reason in which she dies is really... harsh. I'm glad it gave you a little push to create your own stuff tho! What is your book about, if i may ask?

And if you ever want to practice your written french id be happy to chat! But for the books... the thing is that french translations often suck, especially with queer storylines, we dont really have the same langage and it works poorly, sometimes. So if it's originally written in english well i'm gonna read it in english.

Why are you recommanding that one? What makes you like it?

I was also blind sided by the betrayal so I’m so glad they didn’t see it coming! It’s a better experience lol I hope she loves season 3 (minus the end, are y’all skipping it? Or pushing through?)

I’m working on 3 ideas right now tbh. One is outlined and started, one is just outlined, and one is just vibes. The first is just a contemporary romance between two girls who met as kids and became fast friends but were separated by the cruelties of life and they reunite as adults and try to build a relationship that breaks through generational trauma and preconceived ideas. The second is a sapphic retelling of Hades and Persephone, I’m actually playing it out as a DnD campaign with my friends and I’m using their story to outline as we go. The third is a sci fi story where this society is built on this AI and there’s a system that matches men and women up according to genetic compatibility in order to produce the next generation but during the pairing ceremony everyone finds out that these two girls are paired, the daughter of the current president and this low life kid nobody thought much of. It turns out the AI is gaining consciousness and is trying to send a message to these two girls to come save her. They end up catching genuine feelings along the way. It’s not fully fleshed out yet

Oooh! I would love to practice French. I should probably go back and relearn the basics though.

Oh boy, how much of an essay do you want? 😅

[favvnsongs]

ashlee!! which part of faithverse is your favourite? like... the before the fall? the after loss? creaky lexa? or heda aden?

my favorite part of faith verse is that, at its core, it’s a story about overcoming trauma. and of realizing worthiness. 

clarke’s worthiness of forgiveness, lexa’s worthiness of contenment, and aden’s worthiness of greatness. 

that, despite the bad things theyve done, and the bad things that have happened to them, theyre still good people, and worthy of healing and happiness? 

but also the acknowledgement? clarke acknowledging that she did a bad thing. that yes, she’s done a lot of bad things. but they weren’t out of cruelty or maliciousness? they were out of (presumed) necessity. her acknowledging that yes, this is a thing that happened, this is a thing she did, this is the blood on her hands, but despite these things, she’s still worthy of love and happiness and forgiveness and peace? she has to carry these things down, but she doesnt have to act as if it’s a ball and chain around her ankle? or a yoke over her shoulders? 

i do love the ‘before the fall’ though. this sort of….you can love and hate a person at the same time. you can hate a person and be mad at them, but still love them at the same time. and that’s an awful feeling? it’s a conflicted confusing feeling, and that’s something that is perfectly natural? 

but more so clarke realizing that she’s allowed to be angry at lexa. even in understanding lexa’s choice, and empathizing with it and the pain it caused her and how she didnt want to do it but had to, she’s still allowed to be really fucking angry. she’s allowed to be angry for the rest of her life, if she wants to. that, hating this thing lexa did doesnt mean she hates her? 

there’s also the explored idea that shit happens. especially bad shit. bad shit happens. and you can come to terms with that however you want to? you can say that there’s a higher power, as lexa does, and that there is a plan and a path and a story that everyone has to play out. there can be reason and meaning and intent behind the bad things that happen? or you can be like clarke, in accepting the universe is a chaotic place and sometimes youre just dealt shitty cards by sheer … idk. fucking randomness. that it happens and you have to roll with it because you have no other option. you can roll with it or you can let it kill you.

lexa practices “distress tolerance” skills a lot throughout the verse (as she should, living the life she does) and does her best to impart these skills to clarke? and clarke is like “these are fucking stupid” but … healing and emotional stability dont come in a snap? they take time and effort and a commitment to actually getting better? 

so part of the journey is wanting to get better, because wallowing and languishing in trauma and in those feelings of worthlessness and self loathing blame? in that grey grey area? thats something we’re all guilty of, because it’s a familiar place and getting better is new and scary and hard.

there’s the idea that when something bad horrible awful happens, you’re never the person afterwards that you were before, and that that’s okay. that’s natural! your brain has been rewired and the way in which you experience the world and process information has changed. thats just, science. so there’s the journey of clarke and lexa realizing and coming to peace with the fact that they’ll never be the same people they were. they cant go back to those people. they’ve changed and grown and they cant go back. lexa cant go back to who she was before the ice, she cant go back to who she was before the mountain, before she lost anya and gustus, to before costia, ect. and the same thing with clarke. and, in these terrible life changing things happening, they’ve changed, but there’s the effort they have to make in changing for the better. 

and then clarke seeing this new lexa? this lost floundering very much mentally unwell lexa, and coming to terms with the reality of being unable to fix people? you can try to help them as much as you can, and you can be there for them, and try to hold them up? fuck, you can even drag them along behind you, i guess. but they have to be the ones to get their feet back under them. and that can take a little while, or it can take a really long time. but also, in being unable to do these things doesnt mean you’ve failed them. 

lol, anyway, yeah. it’s really just a big like, self indulgent road to healing. 

[calledchaos]

Tagged by: @lovelikesongbirds and @swan-heda thanks, dudes!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

nicknames:  "Fu” (as in “formiga” which means “ant” in portuguese, cause I’m very tall); “peanut” (only my bff calls me that, again because I’m really tall) or just “you’re wrong” by every single girl I’ve dated.

Star sign: Pisces (and I do not believe or know anything about this shit)

Height: 5′2″ (now you understand the nicknames)

Time right now: 1am (guess who’s gonna be really sleepy at work later today)

Last thing you googled: How to convert cm in inches, so I could answer the height question. 

Fave music artist: Pink. (she saved my life, so dont even get me started)

Song stuck in my head: Eu e Você Sempre, by Jorge Aragão.

Last movie I watched: The Call (honestly tho, watch it)

Last tv show I watched: Supergirl (or more like Sanvers, if I’m being honest)

What I’m wearing right now: Just shorts.  

When I created this blog: Dude, it was ages ago, like in 2012 or something like that. 

The kind of stuff I post: All the gay and/or anti Trump stuff.

Do I get asks regularly?: Rarely. Just when I piss someone off, apparently.

Why did I choose my url: I was refering to my life.

Gender: Male

Hogwarts House: Slytherin (we’re not evil, shut up)

Pokémon team: Dude... I didnt even watch the cartoon.

Favorite color: GREEN

Average hours of sleep: too much or not enough

Lucky number: 26 (dont even know why, I just like it)

Favorite characters: Lexa (never getting over), Alex Danvers and Penelope Alvarez (you should watch One Day At A Time, btw).

Dream job: You know those medical experiments that they pay you to sleep for 20 hours a day? That’d be it.

Number of blankets I sleep with: 1 or none. I live in a fucking tropical nightmare country. It’s always hot.

I’m Tagging: @endlesslyjourneying; @blasquezza and other 18 people who’d like to play.

Come on, sisters, warm me up.