#i dont want to be mean also bc i think jesters new look is cute and fun but shes also got that league of legends splash art anatomy going o

[c-kiddo]

looking at all the comparisons of the oldest to newest tmn arts again and honestly so sad that fjords nose got so straightened out like 😐 who gave him a nose job ! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wolftheidioticfan]

Me: I  should probably write something other than the boys huh.

My brain: ok but sequel to the other fic.

Me: ^sigh^ yeah...you’re right.

In which I just die and feel very embarrassed about writing oh god oh man oh god oh no. I’m sorry this is- ohgh. 

I really did just write this uh oh...😳 I almost dont want to post it bc im so shy about...writing soft things. Sorry I’m a sucker for soft and sweet things uh oh....I’m a big sucker...ok. here we go.

Branches swayed softly in the slowly rising wind, rustling the leaves of the forest noisily. It was getting quite cold in the past few days, but not enough to warrant or deter him from taking these nightly walks. Adjusting the golden colored scarf wrapped firmly around his neck, the jester spoke softly to his companion.

“It’s so unfortunate we can’t do this during the day,” He half murmured, eyes half focused up towards the sky, “There are so many things I’d like to show you back in the village.”

“Hmm, well! Perhaps we can go eventually, yes?”

Patronio chuckled at the optimism of the taller man, shuddering as a particularly cold gust of wind passed by, chilling his lungs as he breathed. He felt lucky it was only autumn, or else this would be much worse.

“I’m not sure the residents would quite appreciate your erm...current form,” The jester motioned towards the Camerlengo softly, “They may not be quite as understanding as I.”

He chuckled at the exasperated yet understanding sigh from the other, picking up their walking pace just slightly. Patronio always enjoyed getting out into the fresh air, finding it very calming, especially once they exited the tall oaks and pines that made up the dense woods.

“Isn’t it great to be out of Tenebre?” He grinned, purposefully crushing a few leaves under his boots, “So many sights and much fresher air!”

“...He supposes so!” The Camerlengo half shrugged, “It’s not really like he remembers much different than the castle anyways. It really doesn’t matter either way. Here or there.”

The jester rolled his eyes softly, biting his tongue to argue for a moment. His friend had always been like this, never all that interested in the outside world, even before Tenebre’s awful curse. He’d learned to just deal with it, and understand that even if he seemed a little disinterested, he was at least enjoying the company.

“Oh!”

His head tilted at the exclamation from the tall man, chuckling when he looked back at the grassy hill they had found themselves upon. The village was in view, though distant, and there was quite a perfect view of the night sky. The jester mentally patted himself on the back for picking the location. He perked visibly, motioning out to the entire area in a wide sweeping motion.

“See? Isn’t it wonderful?” He chuckled, “And imagine, just below, a whole village of people. All with their own hopes, dreams, jobs- All this! Was just right outside the whole time...”

“...Very fascinating, yes.”

Patronio immediately flopped down into the tall blades of grass, rapidly patting the spot next to him. Once the Camerlengo had seated himself, the jester began once again mindlessly babbling about the excitement this world had given him.

“In the mornings, they let the sheep out into the field,” he began, pointing just across from a rather large barn-like building, “and later on, the markets open! They have all sorts of things I never even got to see all those years ago!”

He remembered it very fondly, a few weeks ago when he had moved in, the market had just opened and he had begun to visit to see all the people and get acquainted with his new neighbors. The smell of fresh bread and other goods of all shapes and sizes...Oh he would just have to bring some next time he visited Tenebre! It was definitely one of his best memories in recent times.

“I just- I wish I could show it all to you!” He snickered, “It’s really something.”

The jester frowned slightly at the silence, glancing over to see the taller man with his eyes closed, seeming lost in thought. Had he bored him?

“...Cam? Are you listening?”

“Hm? Oh! Yes, he was. You seem very happy out there.”

“Yeah, it’s...it’s really great. I never thought I’d--- actually get back out into the world.”

“It is quite nice, yes.”

This time, a much more comfortable silence fell upon the two. He glanced up at the stars a few times, enjoying the pristine, calming sight. Typically in Tenebre, the view had always been clouded, or not as wonderful as right here. It nearly made the man want to wish for night to never end, just to keep the view forever.

“Do you remember a few weeks ago?” The Camerlengo suddenly snickered, eyes glinting playfully.

“...Ugh how could I forget? You embarrassed me for a joke!” Patronio groaned in response, feeling his face go a light shade of red, “It wasn’t funny.”

“Oh no, no. He was very sincere in his gift!” The other laughed at the jester as his face went several shades darker, “It was just the joke was also too good to pass up.”

What? … He coughed slightly, unable to exactly come up with a real response. Fidgeting slightly with his cloak and scarf, he slowly lowered the lower half of his face into the fabric, eyes darting away back towards the village.

What was he supposed to say to that?

That could mean any number of things! Why did this simple minded fool think that would help the awkward situation at all? Patronio furrowed his eye brows a bit, tucking his arms into the red fabric of his cloak, staring a hole into the ground. He couldn’t fathom this nonsense.

“Patronio? Are you alright? You seem embarrassed...again.”

He squinted at the laughter that had followed the question. The taller man was doing it on purpose!

“You! I-,” The jester stumbled slightly, “Stop messing with me!”

The boisterous laughter and pinch to his cheek caused him to grumble, listening as the Camerlengo spoke again.

“Ahaha, He is sorry, you are just very funny.”

“Shut up!” Patronio balled his fists softly, pushing the larger man over into the grass, continuing when the laughter continued, “Stop it! Embarrassing me isn’t funny! What do you even mean you were ‘sincere’? You just admitting to finding this funny!”

“Heheh...No, no! He was, he was,” The Camerlengo wiped a tear from his eye, sitting back up slowly, “Your responses are just...cute! That is all.”

CUTE?

He quickly fidgeted, spinning to face away with arms crossed, fingers digging into his arms. This was-- UTTERLY embarrassing.

“Aww, are you alright?”

The jester tensed a little at the feeling of being hugged from behind. He could feel the smugness of his companion, hiding a hiss as the other’s chin rested upon his shoulder.

“Okay, sorry~ He will stop teasing now.”

That was definitely NOT a cease to the teasing speech. He just wanted to wipe the smug look off the other’s face--- Embarrass him just as much for this ridiculous display!

...Though kissing his cheek wasn’t exactly his first thought. It was just on impulse.

...Why did he do that?

Patronio’s eyes widened, quickly spinning around when he was let go, immediately beginning to sputter out a thousand apologies, pulling the scarf back over his face in shock. Why’d he do that why’d he do that??

He coughed a little, gauging the reaction of the other. The Camerlengo gaped, face flushing slightly to match his own deeply reddened cheeks. Oh god was he going to be mad? He shouldn’t have done this. This was an awful impulse response.

“O-Oh!” The taller man exclaimed, pitch slightly higher than normal, “...He surely was not expecting that!”

“I-I’m-- I’m so sorry I just-” What kind of excuse was he supposed to come up with? “You were embarrassing me and---  y’know-”

“Hahah...No, no need to apologize!”

With a slight yelp, the jester found himself tugged forwards by his hands, eyes darting in confusion and utter embarrassment. What was going on?

“...But I-i..I uh-”

“He knows what you did,” The other snickered, “That would be very hard to forget.”

“W...What are you doing?”

“Hmm..returning the gesture!”

A hand tugged gently at his scarf, causing him to furrow his brow in confusion, “Huh? Wh-”

Patronio was unable to finish his sentence, as a pair of lips quickly met his own. It was a very gentle, nervous kiss that only lasted about a second, but he was still utterly speechless and shocked by the action. He blinked once, then twice. What was-...what was that? He shook his head slightly, glancing up at the Camerlengo with confusion. The other seemed much more nervous now, as if gauging his reaction this time as he fidgeted with the cuff of his coat.

“...Cam?”

“Mhm?” His eyes darted away from the jester when he spoke, causing Patronio to half chuckle from the situation.

“...Was that sincere?”

“Ah- ahah….W...would you like it to have been?”

He tensed momentarily before slowly relaxing, offering a shy smile.

“Uh...Well...” the jester rubbed the back of his neck slightly, “...Yes. I think I would...”

“Oh! Oh great- he was-...worried--- it would have been too bold!”

Patronio snickered, sighing in exasperation as he slowly lowered his head against the other’s chest, “...Just stop embarrassing me already.”

[blookmallow]

and finally, the conclusion of the dark brotherhood questline 

i have been through so much and lost so much but i gained the one thing that matters most of all.....  cicero’s heart 

-----

well

these aren’t the real emperor’s clothes but i have this still,

i put it on the dawnstar sanctuary mannequin with the jester hat lmao

:( my favorite guard friend who hangs out around the shops in the mornings with me is onto me 

hes not hostile or reporting me to the jarl or anything at least tho 

Dont woRRY About It

i did have guards after me for a while (i had. several just go ‘ok ill let you off this time :)’ bc. i. asked nicely. after attempting to assassinate the emperor of skyrim) but eventually just paid my bounty and they were like ok you’re good and now apparently everyone has completely forgotten That Time I Tried To Murder The Fucking Emperor 

anyway after the fucking massacre that happened at the sanctuary i was absolutely Out For Blood

i mean like....... i realize maro is completely justified here. we are in fact a league of assassins guilty of murdering A Lot of people, we very much did make a real attempt on the emperor’s life (and killed his double, who was less important but still like, an innocent guy, presumably)(or even if it was like that death note thing where its actually a criminal on death row anyway, like, we clearly didnt know that) and i did personally murder maro’s son and ruin his reputation, so. like. we are the bad guys in this situation no matter how you look at it lmao but STILL THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS, FUCKER

so i decided to murder him out of pure spite, but. uh

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO CAUSE THIS BUT I ACTUALLY GOT THE SOLITUDE GUARDS TO MURDER HIM FOR ME LMAO I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

im trying to remember what the fuck even happened here im clearly. underwater, i think maybe i like. confronted him and he got hostile but i jumped off the pier and the guards were like “woah that guy’s losing it” and intervened but he fought them too or something ??? ??  I DONT KNOW BUT THE GUARDS KILLED HIM FOR ME :’) thanks guys 

then after everything we still kept the contract, and... the new plan.... was for me to sneak onto the emperor’s ship before he leaves skyrim and kill him there.... WHICH I COULD HAVE FUCKING. DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN... KILLING SOME OFFICIAL’S SON AND PLANTING FALSE EVIDENCE AND TRACKING DOWN THE GOURMET AND MURDERING HIM AND IMPERSONATING HIM TO TRY TO POISON THE EMPEROR AND IMPLICATING A RANDOM CHEF WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND

EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!!! WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS. WAS ASTRID GETTING ME ALL MIXED UP IN THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE ON PURPOSE FROM THE BEGINNING ?? ? ? SORRY!!! IM ANGRY

i got all the way here without anyone even seeing me (i used a couple invisibility potions for the really tricky spots, but still) i could absolutely have just done this and avoided the entire everything. god 

anyway i again dont really understand the politics of skyrim but. the real emperor was expecting me to find him one way or another. he had already accepted his death and made peace with it. it was. actually kind of sad. i dont know enough to say whether he was actually a decent guy or not but he seemed like he was. i couldnt bring myself to steal his clothes so i still just have the duplicate emperor’s clothes but it looks the same anyway

i took a war axe from one of his displays though. i dont remember if i already mentioned my ongoing tradition of always taking something from my victims and enchanting them later to mark who it belonged to, but thats a thing ive been doing. little murder scrapbook

im not really sure how murdering the emperor counts as “serving the empire” but sure ok 

i also killed this guy lmao the emperor’s last wish was for me to kill whoever it was that betrayed him and i dont like this dude in the first place so i was like yea you got it 

i built a memorial with the weapons rack in my room in the dawnstar sanctuary

enchanted special weapons for each of our fallen members (left to right it’s astrid, arnbjorn, festus, gabriella, and veezara) (i also later added another dagger for lis bc i had one space left) 

theres also gemstones on the floor beneath each weapon but they keep sliding out of place :’ | 

ANGEL DARLING SONG OF MY HEART LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU’RE ALIVE

you can see the game autosaving in the corner bc i had Just come out of the sanctuary lmao thats how lightning fast i reacted to this 

[sobbing] baby boy.... baby.... i was SO WORRIED

i murdered the fucking emperor of skyrim bc i was so desperate to continue this questline to see if cicero would come back I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU.....

(he pranked me and pretended he was gonna kill me at first. i almost lost it thinking he STILL wouldnt forgive me but it was ok :’) u got me, ) 

sniffs...... best friends forever........ this is the best possible outcome this is all ive ever wanted it was all worth it for this 

we got our window back!!!!! also ft cicero subtitle photobombing me with his boundless enthusiasm for murder but i forgive him 

oof we also have... a bunch of torture victims hanging around now too :’ ) oh

i kinda feel bad about them but there doesnt seem to be an option to let them go, 

i mean i could just kill them all i guess. i killed one guy to see if i could. you Can. his body is still there. nobody seemed to care that i killed him

I TURNED AROUND AFTER NAZIR SAID THAT AND CICERO’S JUST. LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS,

i fuckign love this cute little shit. what the fuck. this is such justice too everyone was so rude to him, everyone made fun of him and talked down to him, everyone wanted him dead after he went after astrid, but she sold us out and got everyone killed, he was RIGHT, and now hes the right-hand-man to the Listener who is now ALSO the leader of the brotherhood. he’s basically second in command to the entire organization now and nobody can do a goddamn thing about it bc they all KNOW not to fuck with me now 

i also realized hes taller than me and i dont like it, :’)

im still deciding medea’s taller than him anyway i dont care. she would be taller than the character model is allowing for

he likes to randomly start singing/humming really off key/dancing around its SO cute.... im lov him...............

darling..... calm down, :’) 

hes so completely devoted to me now im in pain

i realized i could tell him to go to sleep and he actually did it the absolute madman 

he gets up if you try to sleep beside him though

i mean. not that i tried that or anything

he stands SO close to me all the time.... i turn around and hes right there beaming adoringly at me. i cant do this 

he kept saying mother needed some flowers so i took him out to collect some nightshade for her n dropped them around her feet 

“whats the point of thievery lol like..... just kill them?????? stupid” 

having cicero constantly two feet behind me jus making cute comments and/or half singing The Weirdest Shit I Have Ever Heard is absolutely delightful 

ur so cute when you’re threatening people

he also hates the forsworn see we’re in sync

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN

me, the leader of the brotherhood, in full brotherhood armor, with cicero following right behind me giggling to himself about murder: