#i ended up putting her on a leash (she was deaf & senile & had zero recall so couldn’t be unleashed even on the driveway)
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Had a dream last night that two of my best friends came to stay with me and also Mabel was alive 🥹
#we were all tucked up in my bed with me in the middle#every time i opened my eyes one of them was like ‘omg do you need anything??’#she tried to bring me an energy drink and a glass of water. and then turned on a tv i don’t have & put on a movie with the sound down#i ‘woke up’ still in the dream and one of them was gone so i went downstairs to make the other one a hot chocolate#it was a ridiculously complicated hot chocolate. it was like the luxury hot chocolates i used to make at work#and i look round and i see mabel standing at the kitchen door patiently waiting for her lunch and i’m like ‘MABEL. BABYYY’#so i tried to let her out the patio door but the key wasn’t in the patio door and also the garden gate was open#i couldn’t find the key and i was like ‘mabel must need to pee. like. she must’#i ended up putting her on a leash (she was deaf & senile & had zero recall so couldn’t be unleashed even on the driveway)#and we were about to walk down the driveway into the garden so she could pee there and then i was going to close the gate & try to find the#patio door key. i woke up before i could do any of this or finish making the hot chocolate#i was happy but also sad that i woke up. i miss my little mabel. i miss her face#at some other point in the dream i remember seeing her half asleep in her basket and i was just like 🥺🥺🥺#i just wanted to stand there and look at her because i knew she wasn’t supposed to be there and i wanted to enjoy however long i had#with her. and that’s something i don’t think i always did when she was alive. and the guilt eats me up#she was so loved. i loved her so much. but i wish i’d given her more. i wish i’d been less annoyed by her quirks#like how she could never be let off a lead and how she used to stare at me for hours even though she didn’t want anything (had been fed#recently; wouldn’t go for a walk or play with me if i tried; wasn’t receptive to attention)#if she came back for the day and all she wanted to do was stare into my soul i would be so happy. i feel so awful for ever being annoyed#by her habits. she just wanted to know where i was 😭#personal
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