#i feel dumb and drained for opening up about smth really hard and i still dont feel like she listened !!!!!!!

[florida3exclamationpoints]

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[klxudykai]

the ugly part of reality shifting

as great as shifting is, its really fucking draining. like REALLY draining. its nice that people want to show the fun and positive side of shifting and all, but once new shifters (specifically) hit the stage where they're drained and extremely demotivated, they aren't going to know how to deal with these new overwhelming emotions. reality shifting takes a toll on our mental health even if we don't like to admit it. this may not apply to everything, but I know it applies to the majority.

ive been shifting since 2021 (if you saw my post Abt me starting shifting in 2019 that was wrong lmfao mb yall-). and I still haven't shifted. I used to think I'd shift within 4 years but surprise surprise. I haven't. I'm drained and demotivated. I don't completely believe I wont ever shift, but I don't think I can get what I want by manifesting or affirming or doing any of that. I think the universe will just randomly hand it to me. it sounds dumb but that's the weird luck I have. when I don't expect it, I get what I want. but when I try hard and I expect it, nothing happens or I get smth worse. i don't think that even when I put blood,sweat, and tears into this that I'll shift. I've discovered so much shit about myself yet I am still here with no experience of what its like in another reality let alone my dr. never saw my dr once. only in my dreams and my imagination.

im going to be completely honest when I say that shifting is not for the weak. I'm not saying this to get you to quit because shifting is one of the best things that I found. I just want you to know that its not always going to be perfect. you might feel desperate, you might feel homesick, you might feel exhausted mentally. and sometimes you'll make progress but then find another obstacle. quite frankly, fuck the obstacles because that's not the issue. its how you deal with them that really determine how your growth goes. and no I'm not saying it controls if you'll shift or not because it doesn't. but if you're a person that gives up easily, its going to be hard to overcome those blockages. I say that because I myself give up easily. which is ironic because I don't give up when it comes to certain goals I want to accomplish (one of those goals being shifting), but I refuse to get rid of those so called "blockages" and avoid them even though I know what's the problem. I avoid them because I don't know how to fix them and I just have this fear that's telling me I'll fail.

this post probably doesn't make a lot of sense but that's because I'm writing this in the heat of the moment so I'm not doing a lot of thinking, I'm just typing. what I'm saying is don't be that person that avoids the problems. be transparent with yourself because I'm telling you, the more you avoid it, the more drained youre going to become. it might turn into an endless loop where you think about your Dr daily but you have zero energy to shift. and it fucking sucks.

overall, please take breaks whether they're mental or shifting breaks, if you feel like there is an issue with yourself, fix it. this is a hard journey but it will be a lot easier once you're honest and overcome problems that need to be solved.

(disclaimer that this may not apply to everyone, just the people who are going through a rough patch in their journey. this is mainly just my perspective and what I've heard from a friend of mine since our issues seemed pretty similar. and if anyone needs someone to talk to, my DMS are open. I want my blog to be a safe space and that this is a place where not everything is perfect. I love y'all and please take care and don't stress yourselves <33)

also, fuck that toxic positivity shit that just makes mfs more drained. if you feel demotivated address it don't push it away

[cat-tastr0phe]

hello new ppl, today sucks so imma talk about the two shows i binged last night to try and not break down for a 4th time today. 

talking about Jujutsu Kaisen and Onyx Equinox, will probably have spoilers so don’t read if you don’t want them!

Jujutsu Kaisen:

so for starters, i usually love mappa animes so i had high hopes for this one, especially with how much others seem to like it but i gotta be real guys, it wasn’t a fav

i plan to keep watching it bc i DO like the characters and animation but the story isn’t rly hitting it for me. perhaps i’ve grown out of the need for torture porn anime but god i could do without all the death/violence/needless depressing shit

also the pacing in this anime is whiplash inducing. its not that its hard to follow, bc most of the story is linear thus far, but it just. feels so off??? like one second he’s being told ‘we’re gonna execute u’ and the next he’s having idle conversation while picking up his grandpa’s ashes like WHAT LMAO

fushigoro’s hair will forever irritate me, also

gorou is a zaddy tho, hello sir, pls remove ur blindfold more mmm yes

ok but the story- so i get that this whole show/story is centered on the idea of negativity and curses and basically exorcising demons, so ofc its gonna go into the ‘life or death, humanity judgement day’ point of conversation but when i tell u i’m so tired of this philosophical bs being put on a pedestal in anime BOI

when junpei shows up and u show me copious amounts of scenes of him being abused and tortured relentlessly, OVER MULTIPLE EPISODES, alongside all this death bullshit throughout the show, ONLY TO KILL THE POOR KID AFTER THEY KILL HIS MOM- i’m out man, i cANNOT

i didn’t even have time to develop some form of attachment to the character, i just felt bad for him. why are you going to introduce this tortured person who is lost just to kill him? its so blegh story-telling it kills me

and for what, to just??? motivate the protag?? make him question his already questionable humanity??????? what is the point, pls explain

in general by the time i caught up to the most recent eps i was already fairly drained mentally. i don’t think its a good thing for a show to drain u LOL

i THINK i’ll keep up with it for a bit just to see if it goes in any sort of a better direction, but idk

love the opening tho. would also love some explanation on the panda

Onyx Equinox:

so also another violent anime but this one at least feels idk purposeful???? bc its portraying creatures that are blood thirsty and idk it just made more sense in my brain

i didn’t think i’d be a fan of the animation, but its actually p good! the style is comfortable, and the gore is like- while still gross/icky, its cartoonish enough that i don’t feel icked out

the voice acting is okay, tho Izel’s has got me uh,,, oof. not a fav, is all. 

also i curse like a sailor but the cursing in this show forever felt random and out of place, like i could do without like 80% of it

ALSO i kno the point is that Izel is like, the worst humanity’s got but CAN SOMEONE CUT THE KID SOME SLACK. half this show was nonstop bullying this 13 yr old, liKE CAN WE PLS,, HE LOST HIS SISTER, TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF, NOW IS A PUPPET FOR THE GODS PLS SOMEONE JUST HUG HIM OR SMTH

which i kno, Yun does eventually, don’t think i didn’t see the hints show, i think i’m picking up what ur putting down

gotta say for a split second i was like ‘well idk if anything like that will be in this show tho, doesn’t totally fit and its a first of its kind kinda show-’ and then there was the orgy scene and im like ‘o nvm’

K’in annoys me a bit, sorry not sorry, he’s like too much of a shit-head bro for me

regardless of all the suffering and struggle porn that this show does have (sorry guys, there’s a lot of struggle porn and u have to admit it) i did genuinely find myself rooting for these kids and that’s a good sign to me

if u can make me care and make me wanna see them prevail, good job. s’not like its that hard to do but i don’t usually watch animes with this much violence that don’t completely make me not care whats happening

i REALLY hope this gets a s2 bc i wanna see where its going!!!! also mad i never realized that fucking heron is probably nelli, how dumb am i

i’d love to hear what others think about these shows, cus currently no one in my friend group has watched both or is far along in them to be able to chat so!!!!