#i feel like ive only been 16 for 3 weeks 😭😭😭

[theprestigegirly]

my birthday is in a month my ass is NOT prepared to drive

[causenessus]

HELLO!! okay lowkey i feel like we talk more through your inbox than we do in dms so im just gonna start ALWAYS talking here 🙂‍↕️ idk tumblr dms just don't work or something so GOOD AFTERNOON!! I HOPE YOURE GETTING A TON OF REST NESS bc tomorrow... we have to go back... sigh. and i have picture day tomorrow so i probably need to make myself look presentable ykwim?? 😞

but like about that friend i yapped about HIGHKEY SHE IS NOT IT YOURE RIGHT!!!! i think what makes it worse is whenever she thinks theres an issue between her and me and she goes to literally everyone but me about it to try to get other people to validate her?? FUNNIEST THING EVER because usually people side w me too pls 💔 like they'll defend me, and the people usually tell me when she starts yapping about it to them so like... just wondering why she feels the need to tell everyone in the world about what i apparently did wrong ⁉️ live laugh love i suppose... AND IF YOU EVER WANNA HEAR ABOUT STUFF THAT SHES DONE TO ME I LITERALLY HAVE STORIES FOR DAYS

ALSO!!!! IM SO EXCITED IM FINALLY GONNA GET MY DRIVER'S PERMIT AND START DRIVERS ED AAAA like ive been waiting for ages!!!! i had to like save up and stuff so it took a bit CAUSE WHY IS IT LIKE 400 DOLLARS IF YOU DONT TAKE IT THROUGH THE SCHOOL LIKE PLEASE 💔

its been days and the try again playlist is literally the only thing pulling me through... ness im forever grateful for the existence of this playlist‼️try again isnt even finished but like NESS i would marry it if i could i think i think about it even more than love notes omf 😭 i need yn as my therapist NOWWW!!! AND ADDING ONTO THAT, TONICS LOOKS SO AMAZING SO FAR OH MY GOD?? LIKE ALL THE DETAILS AND THE GRAPHIC DESIGN FOR ARTIST PROFILES AND EVERYTHING UGHH IM SO EXCITED

okay another thing, i think i told you about a phone vault before cause like my school was really talking it up... it was the stupid pocket thing on the wall. they're out there calling it a phone vault GOODBYE 😭 anyway ive given up on paying full attention in class and have reverted back to wearing and airpod in class so i can listen to music (the SOLE reason why i have airpods is bc they were a christmas gift i dont have enough money to buy those on my own 🫡)

ANYWAY I HOPE YOURE HAVING AN AMAZING DAY LOVE!! MAKE SURE YOU EAT, DRINK WATER, AND TAKE YOUR MEDS LATER!! <33 ILY

HELLO SAV!! AND PLEASE TALK WHEREVER U WANT!! I WILL RESPOND WHEREVER <3 and omg good luck with picture day!! 😭 literally those pics never turn out good like they PURPOSELY WANT ME TO LOOK BAD they're always like "no no!! push your hair out of your face behind your shoulder so we can really see how much of an egg you look like!!" but i'm wishing you the best of luck and that your picture turns out well 😔

and also HELLO??? I'M SO GLAD EVERYONE TAKES YOUR SIDE BC LIKE,, THAT'S JUST EMBARASSING FOR HER 😭 I HOPE SHE TAKES IT AS A SIGN AND REALIZES LIKE...maybe she's in the wrong...or maybe she should go to you and sort it out with you!! instead of just complaining about it to others!!

AND AA YAY GOOD FOR YOU!! it's def expensive but so so worth it in the end 😭😭 i remember for me (idk if every state does this!!) but i actually did my lessons when i was like 16 1/2 (for many reasons we won't get into 😔) but anyway!! in my state or at least at the drivers ed school i went to if you were that age they'd allow you to do this thing where basically they just threw all the information you'd learn over the course of the week (or however long all the drivers ed courses are) in one night crash course style!! and then u take the permit test at the end of it and then u get ur permit!! and although i felt a little behind everyone else bc i didn't start drivers ed immediately yk i was kind of glad i got it all done in one night!! and like you learn all the info and then IMMEDIATELY take a test on it so it was kind of easy!! but best of luck to u!! i hope it all goes well <3

AND AA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVE THE TRY AGAIN PLAYLIST!! i always listen to it in the morning when i'm still waking up and then will switch to the tonics playlist when i'm more awake LMAOO BUT YES!! DW i think now that i've gotten tonics intros out of the way i'm gonna work on try again while trying to outline tonics!!

BUT HELLO THE "PHONE VAULT" BUT BEING THE SHOE HANGER THING?? MAN THAT IS NOT A VAULT 😭 THE WAY SCHOOLS ARE OUT HERE COMING OUT WITH THE CRAZIEST NAMES EVER JUST SO THAT IT LIKE FITS THE AESTHETIC OF THEIR SCHOOL OR WHATEVER IS CRAZY but yes!! i think my wireless earbuds were also a christmas gift or something and then during this one play during high school that was literally the bane of my existence (and also simultaneously the best play i ever did) i NOT ONLY lost my earbuds but i ALSO bit my phone on accident and then broke the screen so like...i sacrificed blood sweat and tears for that play frfr (i also bled all over the set after cutting my finger on accident so i mean it...) so i had to buy myself another pair after that bc my mom was sick of me 😭😭 but they were like an off brand pair and tbh they're better than like samsung buds!! (what i have to use bc i'm not an apple user </3) so honestly it worked out in the end!!

BUT I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY AS WELL!! THANK YOU SO MUCH SAV <3 HAVE A LOVELY DAY AND REST LOTS AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

[streetscountbackward]

doing this challenge cz im bored (long post)

ignore the crap censoring i dont wanna get twordedddddd

day 1: your stats

5’5 and around 50kg right now :( lw was 49

day 2: how tall are you, do you like your height

my height is okay, could be worse but i wish i was 170cm+ instead of being a total manlet

day 3: a picture of your th1️⃣n$🅿️🅾️, what features do you like about this person

i saved these two on 📌terest the other day. theyve got muscle tone but are still noticeably pretty skinny which i like

day 4: your greatest fears about weight loss

my brain eating itself, having to quit running, refeeding syndrome/being hospitalised

day 5: why do you want to lose weight, are you doing it for you

i want to lose weight bcs im tired of being mad ugly and dont feel like i can be myself when im so fat. im doing it for me and for other people to like me 💯💯

day 6: do you binge, if so explain why you think you do

i binge because i get depressed and used to b/p but now i just try exercise it off. i dont binge super badly

day 7: do your parents know youre trying to lose weight? do they care?

they used to know i skipped meals but they got too suspicious so now i only skip lunch at school. theyre pretty oblivious to calories/what counts as restriction but my sister is on my ass about it sometimes

day 8: your workout routine

i run 25-30mins or do 30-35min interval runs three times a week. i go on a short walk every night. the other days it depends, most of the time i do flexibility stuff and those darebee workouts. usually only for 10-25 minutes. id like to workout way more but my family would definitely be able to hear me if i was doing like hour long hiit workouts in my room + the only ‘equipment’ i own is a set of dumbells

day 9: did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way

nothing to my face that i remember but i know theyre thinking it/people have said things behind my back

day 10: whats the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss

idk not having an 34t1ng Đ1$0rd3r was pretty neat

day 11: your favourite th1️⃣n$🅿️🅾️ blog

not blogs but @/emothlnspo and @/dailymalespo_ on twt!!

day 12: what do you normally eat

ive been eating like shit atm so nvm that but; ideally my limit is 1270 and i prefer to stay under 950. i try eat high protein but im vegan so its hard😭😭. breakfast is usually <100kcal, then lunch is usually 20-200, then i eat dinner with my family (why my limit is a little high cause i have no say in what we eat).

day 13: are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way

im in a b/r cycle so im not losing weight or being healthy NEXT🚨🚨

day 14: whats your ugw, when do you expect to reach it

realistically: 35-38kgs, bmi 13s-14s ish?

unrealistically/if worse comes to worst: 26.8kg, bmi 9.9

i want to reach bmi 14 by this time next year atleast

day 15: are you vegan or vegetarian, if so has this helped you to lose weight

ive been vegetarian most of my life and only went vegan like 6 months ago. it definitely helps at times but theres a ton of vegan food around today so its not as useful as youd think necessarily 😭

day 16: when did you first decide to lose weight

i cant remember ever not wanting to lose weight

day 17: do you have an 3d

dont think i need to answer this one

day 18: what food is your weakness

sourdough + dried fruit + nuts 😭😭 theyre so gooooooood😭😭😭

day 19: when was the last time you ate fast food

YESTERDAY😭😭 it was only a salad from a fast food place tho

day 20: fav diet

high protein low everything else

day 21: what are your clothing sizes

i honestly dont know for jeans cause i always buy them bigger and just wear a belt but around w24 i think

otherwise xxs in fitted shirts usually and i think i fit a womens 6-8 (which is a USA 2-4 i think?). id probably fit a womens uk4 but ive never tried lolllllllll

day 22: what was your lowest weight, how and why did you gain

lw was 49kg and gained back to 50.8 cause someone was praying on my downfall idk

day 23: did the media play a role in you wanting to lose weight

duh

day 24: how do you feel about the terms pro-@n@ + pro-m1@

i think people dont know what they actually mean/where they came from. i say im not pr0 so i dont get sussed but really any 3d space is a pr0 space. i dont agree with promoting 3ds at all but i DO agree with having safe “pro-@|\|@“ spaces for people who have them

day 25: have you ever pvrg3d, if so describe your first experience

the first time i pvrg3d successfully was after my family got pizza. i stuck my fingers down my throat jumped up and down tried handsfree the whole shebang and eventually puked up most of it. had to scoop some of the lumps out of the shower drain and into the toilet. would not reccomend.

day 26: what excites you most about reaching your ugw

being skinny finally 🤤🤤

day 27: how do you deal with being around food

I DONT THATS WHY IM FAT

day 28: do you want a thigh gap, why

duh!!! i already have a tiiiinyyy one but i would love a big one. itd make me feel thin

day 29: your definition of beauty

i think everyone is beautiful especially if they are on the inside. for me though id like to be crazy skinny and toned (i would rather dieee than keep being skinnyfat i swear). clear skin, no stupid fat on my face and i wish my smile was different but i cant change that by losing weight so i guess im stuck. i kind of hate my eyebrows and my mouth. i think if my mouth was a little bigger and my eyebrows were a little lower id look okayish. is it weird to say i wish my teeth were smaller?? i have total bunny teeth. i wish my shoulders were wider and my eyes were less sunken in. etcetcetc

day 30: ten facts about you

1. im a natural blond even though i dye my hair darker

2. my dream job is to do music but that wont work out so either way i really want to make something of myself. i think id probably try go to medical school if i had the money.

3. ive never broken a bone except one or two toes

4. i want to travel the world some day but im scared of flying super far overseas and its expensive

5. i play guitar because i wanted to play drums but they were too loud and triple the price. im glad i couldnt play drums cause i like playing guitar now

6. my letterboxd top 4 are good will hunting, beautiful boy, ferris buellers day off, koyaanisqatsi

7. speaking of good will hunting, i love elliott smith

8. my favourite videogames are tony hawk pro skater and skyrim

9. i love lord of the rings and have done for like 8 years

10. im literally dogshit at both but i speak english and im learning two languages. ive been learning spanish for three years and polish for around three months

[astxrwar]

Ive been obsessively reloading your blog every now and then hoping to see a new fic update. Its so rare to find a fanfiction that feels like its written by someone over the age of 16 whose actually had real experiences and empathy. With such care for writing and building characters. Big big love.

When update ?? 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

eeee thank you!!! 😭😭 i’m rly glad you like my silly little brain words <33

Last week i posted drops of blood 2 n I hope to have chapter 6 of blunt force trauma out soon-ish? i only have up to chap 3 on tumblr but I have 4+ 5 up on ao3. 6 is almost done i am simply struggling with the closing scene :/ and then i’m still working on ttb 7 (honestly no idea when that’ll be done) and then i have a few other Ideas that are in varying stages of Completeness

i’ve been on a crazy bucky kick for some reason so he’s dominating the Content rn; unfortunatey because my lab work picked up again I have had less time to write but i’m definitely still working on stuff!

[sluttyminghao]

about you: results!

here are the long awaited results from the form i posted about a week ago! it is based on 148 responses (so many omg)  but it was really interesting to read what you guys had to say!

who are your bias/biases? i think it’s pretty clear that wonwoo biases swarm to my blog like a plague of locusts, and this definitely proved that! wonwoo claimed the top spot, followed by mingyu and then seungcheol!

who are your bias wrecker/s? this made me laugh because a lot of people ticked all of the members (valid tho) but it seems like there was a more even playing field! seungcheol took the top spot, with mingyu coming in a very close second and wonwoo trailing just behind!

who do you fantasize about the most? there were Many comments about this saying it was unfair (jokingly) to only pick one, but as you can see there was quite a tight competition!! with 20.3%, wonwoo took the top spot once again! mingyu came in second with 19.6%, and seungcheol in third with 13.5%

your age group? this was more for my sake, but i wasn’t sure i felt comfortable knowing that there is people under the age of 18 lurking on my blog. 3 people ticked the below 16 box, and i would really like to get into contact with you all so that i can talk to you about the guidelines of my blog, which specifically state you have to be 18 and above. 

some comments from the last question:

Mingyu comes for me in my dreams. You know who I am. Go away mingyu give me vernon or shua.

Your work is absolutely amazing never fails to make me feel 💯 one of my fav tumblr pages ever! Keep doing you! Sending love! 🥰

ur stories got me thinking about this shit during lectures i’ve never been this thirsty in my LIFE 😭 thank u

you hotter than july in california

hiiii i've been following your account for a while and i always want to send in anons but ive never done it before and im nervous to idk why SKFJSKFN but i LOVE your writings and you seem like such a fun nice person!! also i hope your new job goes well!! 🥰🥰🥰 (also how dare u only let us pick only one member on that one question when i ult 3 members)

Love you my fav author! Keep up the good work ❤️‍🔥

WHO DO I THINK OF MOST!? OMG THAT WAS HARD BUT IT ENDED UP BEING BETWEEN WONWOO, GYU, SEOKMIN AND JUNHUI…… also love your writing so darn much it always makes me horny YOU LORD OF BEING AMAZING WITH WORDS <3<3<3 - 🐯

I COULDNT CHOOSE BETWEEN MINGYU AND CHAN TBH I THINK IM HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS ABOUT MY BIASES ASJKS anyways love u bestie 💙

You are the best, please stay with us for a long long time! Horanghae ❤️

in conclusion: yall are horny for the hiphop unit and specifically wonwoo but im not even mad about it

[nyangjjunie]

I remember confessing to my grade 12 crush (it was kind of rushed and more of a heat in the moment kinda of a thing- I was like 16, and obvs dumb) the dude wasn’t even good looking or had a spectacular personality lol after I confessed I had to rush to class. I remember thinking it’ll be good if he rejects me Lolol and he did after a whole 3 days of thinking about- I WAS SO RELIEVED IT WAS LIKE A WEIGHT LIFTED OFF ME (I think the other classmates (not friends) around me were kinda confused id done something like these cuz I was relatively quiet, introverted and studious). But honestly, as embarrassing as that was, and and as embarrassing as some ppl made me feel it made me realize how confident I could be…and my confidence sky rocketed from a 5 to an 80 haha. The guy I confessed to was in the same school club and we were all part of a bigger friend group (he ended up dating someone else and always acted awkward around me, which I didn’t get cuz I wasn’t awkward at all. ( and I heard later on he kinda abused them so that relationship didn’t workout thankfully for the girl ) haven’t heard or seen him since uni). I don’t regret the confessing part, I do regret the time I wasted thinking about home which was like 3 weeks haha. I think I had 2 more casual crushes after- no confessions or anything- they faded within weeks. I don’t think I’ve had crushes after that…maybe one more but that only lasted 2 days before I found it the dude was married haha! I’m so sorry this was so long (but I hope it was entertaining😊😂❄️

my response is quite long so ill just add a break here lol

omg we're kind of the same! ive never thought that id have the guts to actually confess but i did go for it (after a few moments of impulsive thinking) and the first guy i confessed to was actually just a crush that lasted for less than a month bc he was really good looking, but thats it lol xd he was overall a noisy and quite rowdy person and i was 15 that time so yes, obvs dumb (1). it fed my ego though when i learned that he began to grew much more quiet the following days after i confessed because we really werent on the same level 😭 it was crazy too because i heard from his friends that he got a hangover the next day, and idk if it was because of the confession because 100%, i was sure that he did not like me back but i didnt really mind since it was also a heat in the moment crush xd.

but your first time confessing as an introvert can really feed your confidence, like wow who knew that i could do something as brave as confessing to someone LOL. and yes, you'll really feel lighter after you've done it. what happens next is a diff story BJHBASJD

2 years after, we were still batchmates at school! he also ended up having someone else, but they never got past the first date because he got upset that the girl (who is my friend) had to cancel on him days before because she had an emergency. then he threw a tantrum LMFAOOO like what the hell was that. so yeah, my friend got turned off and they didnt work out. i like to think that my friends should always deserve the best, so its kind of a good thing that they didnt.

within those two years i had casual crushes too, but id normally just admire from afar since i didnt know them well enough to confess about how i feel xdd and now its been 2 years since i stopped having crushes. i dont mind though, my standards have skyrocketed so ive been getting very choosy LOL 😭😭😭😭

thanks for telling me this ! <33

[acupofcoffeepart2]

sooooo i wrote all this out to post on my main blog and got too embarrassed to post it since its pretty much almost all kpop but this is me talking about every song in my top 25 of spotify wrapped 

for some context on certain things i talk about in this, i somehow get away with listening to music for 8 hrs straight while im at work and alot of time ill put songs i like on repeat for... probably longer than i normally would just bc im at work and i just dont notice. also very common for me to put energetic/dance songs on repeat. anyway wrapped said i had 76,324 mins of listening time soooo i was like yeah that checks out

25. Diamonds + and pearls - dpr live

This song made me listen to this entire album and the reason I checked out shang chi the other day even tho I don't fuck w marvel and this and the other song on this list wasn't even in the movie! Sad! ..any way good hype song!

24. D.d.d - the boyz

D.d.d still slaps in 2021! This is the song that made me start paying attention to Jacob bc I thought he was so cute when I watched the dance practice at the beginning of the year after learning the members and now he is best boy 💛

23. paranoia - kang daniel

Good song, I watch the mv a lot too

22. Nomad - zion.t , gen hoshino

I thought for sure this was going to be in my top ten. Obligatory, "I love this song!"

21. Nerves - dpr ian

Have listened to this album a lot but found it through this song

20. Back 2 u - the boyz

One of their best b sides! Became very apparent when I binged through their entire discography early this yr

19. nothing on me - kai

😳😳😳🥴🥴🥴🥴 anyway I adore this hoe anthem album

18. Summer tights - dpr live

So surprised this isn't in my top ten but I guess I've only been listening to it since this summer I love this song

17. Asap - stayc

This and another song coming up I consider to be the best kpop songs to come out this yr and can't explain what makes them so special bc idk anything about music but I get so damn excited when asap comes on shuffle. Ive been really enjoying their music since they debuted. ASAP!!

16. The stealer - the boyz

I don't know where the stealer ranks on my list of tbz title tracks but I think a reason I love it so much is bc I can bullshit my way through a lot of the lyrics lol

15. Magic - Tomorrow x together

Everybody! clap your hands if you've got a broken heart just take a chance

14. antidote - kang daniel

I apparently need to check out more of him since I got 2 of the 3 songs I know of him here

13. Ugly dance - Onf

This is the other song I was referring to as one of the best from this year. I don't know why! It just is :) I adore their music so much. And their newest album slaps btw! Please stan onf 😭

12. Thrill ride - the boyz

I had no idea I was going to love this song as much as I do now. It is so catchy and i just get so happy when i listen to it and I watched every single music stage they did for this and I'm a fuking loser

11. Revolving - yung bae, marc e. Bassy

When this showed up I was like "what...who?" I don't remember listening to this much. Must have had a day at work where I listened to this for an abnormally long time

10. Wannabe - golden child

Still listening to this...Its so funny I only know like 5 other golcha songs. Even funnier thing,! The rtk ver of wannabe is also in my top 100 lmao I think its bc when that kakao m drama happened the original song got taken off but not that one and thus got replaced for the like week...until it came back..

9. Get it out - apoki

Yeah little bunny girl! The song slaps thats it

8. Don't fight the feeling - Exo

Suprising... this is probably a case of me putting it on repeat at work until I'm like "hmm..tired of this song" but 3 hrs have passed. It's a good song but I like runaway off this album more.

7. Levitating - Dua Lipa

Classic energetic repeat work song!

6. Save - nct 127

They may have been replaced by the boyz this yr but I still love nct 😤 came out in the 1st half of the yr as a single and is very repeatable

5. Blue hour - Tomorrow x together

Me catching up w txt this summer bc I havnt kept up w them since their debut but seeing this yeonjun in his black cowboy outfit and pink mullet everywhere finally made me take the plunge to do it. I can't tell u how many times I've watched the mv and as far as im aware there's no track that includes the dance break and how fucked up is that? This songs amazing what the fuck

4. All good - Astro

My happy happy happy time song, much needed at work. Have I ever heard a happier song in my life? Of course astro suits this song so much theyre crazy. Every time it comes on shuffle like no question its going on repeat for at least half an hr. If your going to listen to one song on this list pls let it be this one

3. Fight! - aests

Classic energetic repeat work song!

I imagine dance battles in my head when I listen to it. Any song that can help me day dream a little while I work will be on for a while. also, I was mainly listening to this at the being of the yr

2. rain on me - gaga and ariana

CERWS( classic energetic repeat work song)! Was also another song I was listening nonstop at work at the beginning of the yr. Idk what to say... It's a good song!

1. Summer time - the boyz

A lot to unpack with this one! Ok so I happened to learn maybe half way through the yr that this is my most played song on spoitfy of all time...WIG! So theyve really became my favorite bg this year and when i listened to the dreamlike album back in feb? Summertime immediately stood out. I havnt in the slightest gotten tired of this song. I am a shy person but you could probably catch me humming or maybe even singing this at work. Happy dreamy song this might be my favorite album from them too. Also would like to say here 24 of their songs made it into my top 100 but ya know that just makes sense given I exposed myself to their entire discography back in jan-feb. I l🤡ve them.