#i feel like real cis ppl wouldnt ask this question to begin with so

[weirdmageddon]

(dont rb) so i might be thinking im nonbinary

i was talking with my mom yesterday about the rate of nb and trans people in individuals with autism and she sees a LOT of it where she works, she read a lot about it the night before actually and sent me a few studies

on twitter i wrote:

even though im cis ive had an uncanny ability to just understand gender as well as nonbinary and trans individuals do, as if i wasnt cis..like obviously, being cis, i dont experience stigma of being non-cis but i understand gender conceptually the same as they do because i feel super in tune with how they describe it and i think this is because im autistic. and gender/gender roles are societal and social constructs.

and i then asked on twitter how do i tell if i’m nonbinary and the truth is there’s no clear-cut answer but i still want to know....where does the fine distinction lie between nonbinary and cisness...where does it change?

if i am nonbinary, i dont have any dysphoria (and i know you dont need dysphoria to be nb or trans). im fine with she/her pronouns and my name being sara. i dont care for dressing feminine but i dont despise it either, it its more of a sensory problem so i just wear t-shirts and pants all the time. but i dont think i’d wear feminine clothing even if i didnt have sensory problems (which is kinda hard to imagine since autism is such a big part of my life that this stuff is sorta ingrained) just because i like the tshirt pants vibe better.

i just always felt a “whatever” about my gender. i never felt the need to present like a girl, i just sort of am..but its not super important that i be a textbook girl. i dont want to be refered to as a boy tho because i feel more in line with my womanhood, but just not society’s idea of it. btw ive always seen my body parts/gametes as being completely separate from my identity. ive never been dysphoric about them but i just always felt that they were insignificant in terms of my identity. my identity is more “me (girl)” than “girl (society expectations and everything that comes with womanhood from hormones to caring for children and having certain attitudes and “girlfriends” that arent romantic)

so basicaly im girl (my idea of it for myself).. and my question is is all of this nonbinary or just a variation of cis experience?

thing is i would feel weird coming into a place with marginalized people when ive identified as cis my whole life it would feel like im only standing in shallow water of a 14 foot pool. because i could easily pass for cis still if im comfortable with my body and my name and pronouns are still “female” aligned. when im in group of people i feel like i can speak for them but in this case if i started to identify with the nonbinary label i still would feel like im talking over other nb people who are further from the binary than i am. i dont even know what label i would have. demigirl? idk