#i feel like that kid in whiplash who dies 4 his art

[hawksmoor17]

Physically Impossible Scenes in S4: Flashbacks + POV Changes

Guess who’s ascended to a whole new layer of confusion? It’s me.

At first I was absolutely convinced of EMP due to the fact that most of season four appears to be partially/wholly constructed. However, some scenes are impossible. Which makes me wonder if we are witnessing a collaborative retelling of events the perspectives of Sherlock, John, and Mycroft. An alibi. Or perhaps a version of John’s blog. Also, maybe there are drugs involved. It’s all very strange.

NOTE: I try to provide explanations for these scenes, however, the main thing is having them all laid out in a list. Whenever I’m coming up with theories these are always the moments I end up coming back to.

Additionally, an incredible amount of of dialogue, settings, characters, and plot lines within season four are all recycled from previous series. To keep track, downloadable PDF flowcharts with these interconnected memories can be found here along with an editable file to add relevant missing parallels.

1) Sherlock has a flashback in TST ...

... to John throwing the AGRA data stick in the fire at Christmas — an event he was never present for because he wasn’t even in the room; he was outside eating mince pies with Wiggins (or something.)

(Left: HLV. Right: Sherlock’s TST flashback).

Explanation 1: Sherlock constructed the Holmes family Christmas scene where John forgives Mary in his mind palace as an alternate reality/test scenario. Explanation 2: John and Sherlock have constructed this memory together as part of an alibi. Explanation 3: Although The Six Thatchers seems deeply rooted in Sherlock’s POV, it’s actually filtered through John’s. Explanation 4: Mary plants this scene in Sherlock’s memory through use of HOUND/TD-12. Explanation 5: ???

Considering the other weird POV scenes in S4/HLV I’m still not sure where I stand on this. But within TST when Sherlock has this flashback the lighting flickers exactly like it does when Mary is in Sherlock’s hospital room and says:

“You don’t tell John. Look at me and tell me you’re not going to tell him.”

Which leads me to believe that Explanation 4 may be correct and Mary has convinced Sherlock that John forgives her through drugging him with "TD-12″/a derivative of HOUND that renders the recipient extremely suggestible.

2) Sherlock has a flashback in TLD ...

... after seeing Faith!Eurus, to John walking off into the night with his cane — an event he was never present for because he was off dumpster diving for the pink suitcase. This scene is odd because John is seen from behind, from an outsider’s POV. In the next shot John gets the phone-booth call from Mycroft, who has been watching him through security cameras.

(Left: Mycroft watching John in ASiP. Right: Sherlock’s TLD flashback)

Explanation 1: This scene is from John’s POV and he’s imagining how he used to be before Sherlock from an outside perspective. In a flashback from Sherlock’s perspective. (?) Explanation 2: TLD has been filtered through Mycroft’s perspective as well and he’s working collaboratively to devise an alibi for John and Sherlock. Explanation 3: Sherlock had a flashback to something he didn’t see because it represent’s John in ASiP generally and it isn’t supposed to matter about where the shot is from itself. Explanation 4: Sherlock was secretly watching John leave somehow, hiding in an alleyway. Explanation 5: Season 4 is John’s blog/Sherlock collaborating with John in writing the blog. Explanation 6: ???

At the moment I’m quite interested in Explanation 2, just because it has relevant metaphorical implications considering how Mycroft represents the writers/writers of Holmes adaptations in general.

But to be honest, at this point I’m not sure how lenient this show is with it’s logic/suspension of belief. Explanation 3 does seem possible. It could be that the more simple answer is correct and that this really is Sherlock’s flashback.

Especially considering the fact that there aren’t that many good shots of John walking alone with the cane in ASiP that would fit the tone of this scene. This is a moment in which John feels isolated/alone, so it could just be representational.

Explanation 5 is also pretty interesting, considering how we haven’t seen the blog updating this season while it’s had a lot of attention drawn to it. It could be that the show has become the blog or some other variation of this.

3) “He’s better than a great man ...”

In one of the final scenes of TFP Lestrade says that Sherlock isn’t merely a great man, “he’s a good one”, which references what Lestrade told John in ASiP when they first met. A conversation Sherlock wasn’t present for. He was in the cab with Jefferson Hope.

(Left: ASiP scene with only John present. Right: TFP scene)

Explanation 1: TFP is Sherlock’s recurring dream from TST and/or he is unconscious/in a coma after overdosing. Lestrade/John says this at his bedside, the real-world dialogue bleeding into his dream. Explanation 2: Sherlock and John are collaborating by formulating an alibi which involves explaining Sherlock’s dream and they add this line in. (?) Explanation 3: TFP is from John’s perspective and Sherlock explained to him that Moriarty’s “final problem” was to kill him. Also the TAB waterfall scene was beamed into his brain somehow. (?) Explanation 4: It’s in-universe fanfiction/a movie/a TV series about Sherlock and John’s lives. Explanation 5: Sherlock’s dream is being recounted on the blog for whatever reason. Explanation 6: Sherlock and John are coming up with a ridiculous explanation of events on the blog as part of an alibi, because they think the mainstream audience will think it’s the truth. Explanation 7: ???

4) “That wasn’t the final problem.”

In TFP Moriarty introduces the episode with: “Hi! I’m Jim Moriarty. Welcome to the Final Problem!” John has never heard Moriarty say the phrase “the final problem” before. Only Sherlock hears this multiple times during Reichenbach — once at 221B over tea, again in the story of Sir Boast-A-Lot, and again on the rooftop of St Bart’s.

Considering TFP as primarily existing rooted within Sherlock’s POV, the whole episode seems very much like a lead in to the “Inmost Cave” portion of Archplot Story Structure in which the protagonist goes through the most emotional growth/has revelations about who they and how their flaws are influencing their choices.

(Left: TRF with only Sherlock present. Right: TFP)

“Deep water, Sherlock, all your life, in your dreams. Deep waters ...”

While Sherlock has flashbacks to his “past” we get a shot of the waterfall scene from TAB. If TFP were John’s dream, he would be unable to form a perfect visual recreation of a scene that occurred within Sherlock’s mind palace.

However, within TFP we also get these:

(Left: MHR, only John and Lestrade present. Right: TFP)

(Left: ASiP, only Sherlock. Right: ASiP, only John) (Both are shown during Mary’s final TFP speech)

(See #3) and additionally: Explanation 1: TFP is from Sherlock’s perspective and the ending references to ASiP and MHR are metaphorical/parallels. Explanation 2: TFP is from Sherlock’s perspective and he is telling it to John / it is being retold by John somewhere like the blog. Explanation 3: TFP is a fan-theory. Like Anderson’s in TEH or a movie/tv series/book/fanfic.

5) TAB is definitely from Sherlock’s POV ...

... because, again, narratively it wouldn’t make much sense any other way. A concrete link is that Moriarty tells Sherlock “Because it's not the fall that kills you, Sherlock. Of all people, you should know that. It's not the fall. It's never the fall. It's the landing” in reference to "I want to solve problems... our problem. The Final Problem. It's gonna start very soon, Sherlock... the Fall. But don't worry: falling's just like flying, except there's a more permanent destination” from TRF as well as “I-O-U a fall” — conversations John was not present for.

(Left: TRF. Right: TAB)

6) Gunshot flashbacks.

Within TLD both Sherlock and John have flashbacks to gunshots that look exactly the same. Which makes me wonder what the exact logic of this show is. Can two characters have the same memory of a gun going off? We already know that within this episode Sherlock has a flashback to something it’s likely that only Mycroft has seen — so perhaps these gunshots are also metaphorical, or part of a retelling of events by Mycroft/John/Sherlock?

Gun #1: Norbury’s gun. (Or Mary’s. They’re the same model.) Gun #2: Likely John’s gun. Appears after “Taking your own life” speech to Faith!Eurus.

The fact that when Sherlock is on the bridge with hallucination!Faith!Eurus, the shot of the smoking gun is superimposed over him means that Sherlock is the one who got shot at in this memory.

This matches up with the flashback. Ungloved, right handed, with a Walther PPK without a silencer. (As opposed to gloved, left handed, with a silenced Walther PPK like Mary in CAM tower.)

But TST is presented so it seems like John did not see Norbury’s gun go off at the aquarium.

Therefore, either: a) John was there to see the gun go off and he, Mycroft, and possibly Sherlock are crafting an alibi. b) The whole of TLD is from Sherlock’s perspective, including John thinking about the smoking gun, and he subconsciously knows that John was present to see it be fired in TST but his memory manipulated through drugs. c) The whole of TLD is from Sherlock’s perspective, and he imagines John dreaming about the gun going off metaphorically. d) John’s dreaming of the smoking gun is from his POV and the shot is completely metaphorical.

Summary of Main Points:

- Sherlock has a flashback in TST to Christmas HLV. Therefore the burning AGRA data stick scene is fabricated, the flashback is metaphorical, or TST has been filtered through John’s POV.

- The lighting in Sherock’s TST flashback matches the lighting when Mary snuck into Sherlock’s hospital room in HLV. (Possibly indicating that Mary has drugged Sherlock with HOUND/TD-12 at least once to manipulate his memories.)

- Sherlock has a flashback in TLD to John with his cane. This could be metaphorical, an indicator that TLD is filtered through Mycroft’s POV as part of an alibi, or an indicator that TLD is filtered through John’s POV.

- John and Sherlock both have the same flashbacks to gunshots. This could be metaphorical, or an indicator that TLD is filtered through multiple POVs. - TAB is definitely from Sherlock’s POV. (Thank God for this one concrete episode.)

- TFP has reference to TAB, meaning it has to be primarily based in Sherlock’s POV. There are dialogue references back to ASiP, meaning that either Sherlock is unconscious and in a coma with Lestrade’s words filtering in, or that TFP is breaking the fourth wall and is an in-universe fanfic/book/movie that Sherlock has somehow influenced along with John — or TFP is a collaboration between Sherlock and John on the blog.

@worriesconstantly @jenna221b @my-relaxation @drugsbust @the-7-percent-solution @inevitably-johnlocked  @ti-ori-se @toxicsemicolon @teapotsubtext @misanthropic-acedia 

[lunar-girl-fic]

Perfect Girl~ Wonho Oneshot

Warning: Suggestive, mention of dying?

Y/N POV

Word Count: 1591

Wonho x female reader

Disclaimer: The picture used is NOT MINE. I found it on instagram from the artist @bre.lexis. You guys should totally check out her art. It’s my favorite ambw art :).

A/N: I based this one shot based off a dream I had the other day. It felt so freaking real like I even felt the kiss and for some reason that only happens when I dream about him and I. Some scenes were added but this pretty much how my dream went. I wasn’t able to find a photo that matched how I imagined Wonho and a brown girl. In the dream he was literally the same size as he is now and he was wearing that orange shirt from is live the other day... Anyways I hope you all enjoy!

It was a rainy Friday night. You had just left your coworkers at the restaurant you guys went to to celebrate the assistant principals birthday. You called an Uber to get home. Normally you would walk but you weren't in the mood to be catching a cold. The ride home wasn't too long since you obviously lived close by.

When you arrived you thanked the driver and exited the vehicle quickly. However, no matter how fast you ran to the building you still ended up getting soaked. As if it couldn’t get any worse, the elevator in your complex wasn't working so you had to prolong your torture by taking the stairs. 

You finally reached your apartment and immediately took your shoes off and headed for your bathroom. You put your clothes on a drying rack over your toilet. You turned the water on to the hottest setting and got in. The warmth of the water was welcomed and washed away most of the stress you've been feeling with work. But stress from the absence of your boyfriend of 4 years didn't go away. It wasn't as if he was in some far away place where you couldn't see or contact him. No, the problem was he was so busy with his comeback that he did not have much time to call you much less visit you due to conflicting scheduling.

At first, you didn't have much of a problem with it since you knew how important his career was to him. But it has been two months and the separation was starting to get to you. Even though you knew you shouldn't complain being lucky enough to even have a man as sweet as him, you were only a human in need of the touch of her boyfriend.

After you got out the shower you put on some mango butter to attempt to smell good while moisturizing and let your curls fall freely. You grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants and put on the smallest sized hoodie Wonho owned. Being thankful he left this one behind since his others would've had you swimming in it.

You left your room and went to the kitchen to make a cup of calming jasmine tea (can you tell I've been watching atla alot hehehe). As the tea was boiling you gathered your students papers from your work bag and placed them on your coffee table. You turned the TV on and scrolled through the options. Finally settling on the 90s batman animated series as background noise.

You went back into the kitchen and poured the tea in your favorite mug. On the way to the living room you grabbed your phone just in case he called you. He may not have called you in the past week but who knows maybe today would be your lucky day.

Time went by smoothly. Surprisingly grading he papers wasn't too difficult since your students actually followed directions. Since it was easy to grade you decided to raise the volume of the TV and pay more attention to the plot of the episode. You were just about to finish grading the last paper when your phone started to ring. Had it not been on vibrate mode you would have never known it was ringing. When you looked at the caller ID your heart went pitter patter. It was Wonho. You obviously picked up the phone immediately with a joyful tone.

"Hey babe! How have you been? How's comeback? How does your shoulder feel? Are you eating properly"

"Well hello to you too baby, and to answer your questions good, good, good and of course!"

"Well that's good. It's been awhile and I was beginning to worry you forgot I existed."

"How can I forget about the shining light of my life."

"I mean with all those beautiful girls around you everyday it's not hard to think you might forget about an average girl like me."

"You're right."

"Wha- WONHO!"

You heard him laughing and knew that he did that just to get a reaction out of you.

"You know I would never. You're the only girl I have my eyes on."

"Hmph could've fooled me. Don't worry I already got my eyes set on another man." You said jokingly.

"Ya! I was joking."

"I know you dork."

There was a comfortable silence after you guys finished laughing.

"When do you think we'll be able to hang out?"

"Soon, I'm hoping. Everything is just so crazy that I barely have time to focus on taking care of myself. I'm honestly so sorry for not being able to call you. You must think I don't love you anymore."

"Wonho, I know I signed up for this when I first started dating you. You don't have to feel guilty for something you can't really control." You said trying to lighten the mood.

" I know it's just that I- I... I just want you to know that. (In Korean) I am the luckiest man in the world. I know you probably think I take you for granted but the truth is I could never love another girl like I love you. You said that you think I can forget about you easily an quite possibly leave you for another girl? When in reality everyday I worry you might just give up waiting for me an find another guy to replace me. You're my driving force in life. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you so much baby girl that I can't even find the right words to describe how much."

"...You know I hate you. I'm pretty sure you probably said the most beautiful words I will ever hear but I guess I will never know considering you just said it ALL IN KOREAN. Babe you know I'm not hat fluent. Now can you please tell me what you said again." You whined.

He chuckled, "I said, I am the luckiest man in the world. I know you probably think- ah forget it. You're making it so hard to surprise you."

"What? How? And what surprise are you talking about?"

"Turn around."

You quickly turned around almost giving yourself whiplash and that's when you saw your man standing there with a smile on his face and his arms opened wide.

"IT'S YOU!! YOU'RE HERE!!!" You said as you ran to him and jumped on him instantly grabbing his head to pull him in for a kiss. You almost cried tears of joys feeling his lips on yours after not being able to even touch in in 2 months.

You pulled away having the need to catch your breath. But you were still cupping his face with your hands, staring lovingly into his eyes. Eventually you went back in for another kiss but jumped at the sound of an explosion that happened in the show you were watching almost falling out of his grip. Wonho laughed at you while he gently placed you down so he wouldn't accidentally drop you.

"Heeeyyyy, why are you laughing? I could've died." You said while pouting.

"Sorry jagiya, you're just so cute I couldn't help it."

"Hmph. Nice to know you think me almost dying is cute."

"Dying? I'm pretty sure falling from that height wouldn't have killed you." He said amused.

"You don't know that. What if when I fell, I could have broken a bone and punctured an important organ and potentially bleed out."

"That sounds highly unlikely."

"Since when dud you become a medical doctor."

"Since the moment I started dating you. With the amount of times I've had to take care of you because of how clumsy you are, I'm pretty sure I can get a medical degree easily."

"YA! I'M NOT THAT CLUMSY."

"If you say sooo."

You and Wonho couldn't help but laugh at the silliness of your conversation. However while you were still laughing, Wonho stopped to stare at you. The love he felt for you overwhelmed him in this moment. He wasn't sure if it it was because he hasn't seen you in awhile or if it was something else but all knew was he just realized how perfect you are. You noticed the look and asked what was wrong.

"Why are you so perfect?"

"I mean perfect isn't the word I would use to describe myself..."

"I mean it baby, what did I do to deserve you?"

"Hmmm believe it or not all you did was be yourself. I tired of guys who were fake and trying to be something they thought I wanted. You are the only guy I met who was himself and that's all I can ask for. Plus your really good looking."

"I do look good, don’t I?"

"You're supposed to say thank you, you ungrateful little-"

"Just kidding." He said as he put his hands up defensively.

"I'm still waiting."

Instead of answering you, he grabbed your face and pulled you in for a passionate kiss, burying his fingers in your curls.

.After 2 minutes you both pulled apart to catch your breath.

"How was that for a thank you?"

"Hmmm I think you have to do that again to make it a proper thanks."

"I can think of a better way that involves a bed and less clothes." He said as he picked you up and carried a flustered you to your bedroom. And lets just say that by the end of the night you he was able to show you just how thankful he is.

[chimchimsauce]

Recrudescence (4)

It’s nearly easy as breathing (for six of them, at least) for BTS to pretend to be just like everyone else - humans with big dreams and aspirations. But one person brings the façade crashing to the ground and for some reason, they just can’t let her go.

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Comment if you want to be added to the tag list!

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

The park is much warmer and drier than YN remembers. The prickly grass and hard bark of the tree seem to have melted and turned into some sort of soft cotton. It feels like a dream, really.

YN sighs, burying her face in the warm blankets before launching up with a start.

 She certainly shouldn’t be in warm sheets at the moment.

Had she been kidnapped? Would she ever make it back to her country? Will she be enslaved for the rest of her life?

Panicking, the girl tries to shrug herself out of the tangled bedsheets, rubbing her eyes and planning her escape . . . for the second time.

It’s really not her day today.

“Woah there, tiger. You’ll give yourself whiplash,” a voice says fondly, not unlike the tone a parent has with his or her child.

In all of her short-circuiting, YN failed to notice the seven males sitting near her in this dim room.

A light is switched on and YN recoils before getting used to the sight, blinking.

Namjoon stands near her beside, Yoongi and Hoseok glued to his side and staring at her with wide, happy eyes. They look very much like a trio of puppies in an excited mood. Jimin is sprawled all over the other half of the bed, hand lain on his crossed arms, smiling fondly at her. Jin stands across the room, a book held loosely in his hand, eyes trained on her like he’s trying to figure something out. Jungkook is chewing on his lip, eyes innocent and sweet but hands clenched tightly at his side, as if he’s restraining himself from doing something.

 But Taehyung grins at her, his teeth normal and shiny white. 

Regardless, she shrieks when she sees him, fumbling and landing on the floor harshly. 

All the boys move at once, hands outstretched and voices raised in concern.

“Don’t touch me! Any of you!” She shouts, scrambling into a standing position and backing herself up against one of the walls, sliding across the smooth plaster.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks.

He feels hurt at the way she’s behaving, almost as if she’s afraid of him.

“You! Don’t come anywhere near me, you monster!” She screams, hands shakily holding onto the sheet like a lifeline.

Taehyung comes up short, as if he hit a wall.“I - what?” He asks, confusion lacing his tone.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Why are you scared?” Jin asks, pushing away from his wall.

“Calm down, YN. Nothing’s going to hurt you. We would never hurt you,” Yoongi says, taking a step towards her.

Hoseok grips the other man’s shirt.

“Give her space, Yoongz,”

“What are you talking about, baby girl?” Jimin asks, “You have to be clearer so we can understand you. What monsters?”

“Like you don’t know what I mean,” She says, accusing glare pinned on all of them.

“Explain then,” Tae says, venom lacing his tone.

He can’t help but want to hurt her, since his own feelings are injured at the moment. But instead, she looks even more terrified than before, guilt flaring up in his chest.

“Don’t be so mean,” Jungkook says, his natural voice soothing the girl a bit.

It’s melodic.

“If you wouldn’t mind elaborating further, it would be a great help, okay?” Kookie continues.

The unpleasant buzzing sound fills the others’ heads, but YN is eased.

“I - he bit me. With . . . fangs. Like a vampire. He shoved me into some closet and - “ She begins, tears gathering in her eyes.

“How -”

Namjoon, fast as lightning, has his hands around Taehyung’s throat.“How dare you treat her that way?!” he snarls out.

A frightened whimper escapes YN. 

Namjoon drops Tae just as quickly as he grabbed him, cringing at the girl’s horrified expression.

“All of you quit it!” Seokjin yells. “I’m mediating this from now on. No more nonsense, we’re going to sort this out,”

The boys mellow out at that, not wanting to scare her again. 

YN, still terrified, stays near the wall, wary of them all.

“So, Taehyung bit you, YN? Is that right?” Jin asks.

She nods.

“Did he suck your blood?”

She nods again.

“Is that why you left in such a fright?”

Another nod.

“And now you’re afraid of him?”

More nodding.

“Do you think we’re all vampires?”

“Y - yes. Aren’t you?”

Jimin makes a noise of disgust. 

“There’s only one leech in this room,” He says.

YN’s gaze shifts over to Jimin.

“How are you speaking so fluently? None of you can speak English but Namjoon - ”

“Let’s just settle this first, okay, sweetheart? You can ask us whatever else you want afterwards, okay?”

Surrounded and seeing no other choice, YN nods.

“I - this doesn’t usually happen. You weren’t supposed to remember anything. I was just supposed to drink from you and send you back, you weren’t supposed to run off or be afraid,”

“How could I not be afraid? You stole me away like some . . . like a blood rapist!”

Jimin actually chuckles before quieting at the glare everyone else sends him.

“I’m sorry. Everyone else is victim to my persuasion so no one gets hurt. I never expected it to go this way. You just smelled so delicious, I couldn’t help myself,”

Even now, he feels his teeth pushing against his gums

“You don’t kill people?” She asks, suspicion lacing her tone.

“No. I haven’t killed anyone in . . .” His eyes flash with some hidden pain, “A very, very long time. I promise,”

“And you won’t be biting her anymore,” Yoongi says, eyes nearly black, “Ever,”

Taehyung swallows, looking away.

“I won’t,” he says lightly ignoring the burn in his throat.

“As for the rest of us, I think we shouldn’t overwhelm you today. Let’s explain everything for you tomorrow, okay? We have a busy day at the studio,” Seokjin says.

He just wants her to go back to sleep, to not try and leave again. An icky feeling settles upon him at the simple thought of her not being with him.

“Are you kidding me? I get mauled by a vampire and kidnapped by BTS and you expect me to just stay here are la di da? Like whatever, he said he was sorry so everything’s peachy keen now. Hell no! I’m leaving and don’t any of you dare try to get in my way, understand?”

“YN, please. We promise that we won’t hurt you. Nothing will hurt you while we watch over you, okay?” Hoseok says.

“Why would I believe you at all? I don’t know you and you’re all some sort of something. Running was the right choice and I’d like to finish it, alright,”

“Please stay,” Jungkook whispers, a tingling feeling dusting over her.

“No,” she says.

The rest of the boys share a loaded look.

“Please, YN. Don’t leave me,” Jimin says, unable to stop myself from reaching for her.

The horrible image of her slipping away paints his mind, causing him to shudder.

“I’m sure you can find a replacement for the contest. I’ll even sign a nondisclosure agreement if I need to. I just want to leave,”

“Who cares about the contest. Just stay with us, please,”

“Why?” She asks, on the verge of hysteria.

“Because . . .” Seokjin starts, “you’re my mate,”

“My mate,” Jimin chimes.

“My mate,” Jungkook whispers.

“My . . . mate” Taehyung says.

“My mate” Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi say.

Everyone stares at her with sincerity.

“Our unity,”

Chapter Five

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball GT Retrospective (4/7)

[Note: This was originally written on January 13,2013.  I embedded YouTube videos on each part, including several Evanescence AMVs, but Tumblr won’t cooperate with that for some reason.   Just look them up yourself.]

Today I'd like to talk about the Super 17 Saga.  It sucks, but it's short.   Man, there's an Evanescence AMV for this too?  I'm starting to see why that Daredevil movie was so poorly received.  Starring Ben Affleck!   Soundtrack by Every Fifteen-Year-Old on YouTube!

From what I've read, Episode 41 was supposed to have been the finale of Dragon Ball GT, but the show got renewed and so it chugged along for another 23 installments.  I don't know if the post-Baby storylines were rushed, per se, but it does sort of feel like Toei was caught flat-footed.   For one thing, the opening credits still kept using the same animations of Goku, Pan, and Trunks flying around in space, looking for Black Star Dragon Balls, and fighting Baby.  Well, the outer space adventures are over, the Black Star Dragon Balls are gone, and Baby's friggin' dead.  Hell, Trunks even gets kicked out of the main cast.   From here on out It's all Goku and Pan with a little Vegeta now and then.   Also, I think the Super 17 Saga feels like a kneejerk reaction.  "They ordered more shows, what do we do?   Shit... uh, let's just bring back all the bad guys from the old series!"   For a Dragon Ball Z fan, watching GT for the first time is like getting whiplash because they kept switching the premise around.   The whole point of the first two dozen episodes was that they were abandoning the DBZ formula and trying to do old school Kid Goku stories in outer space.  Then they spend another dozen episodes setting up a Goku vs. Vegeta fight with new power-ups.   By Episode 42, the series has given up any ambition of offering a distinct flavor or vision.   It's settled into a rut of doing lame comedy and watered-down superhero fights.   So first off, Episode 41 is about the latest World Martial Arts Tournament.   Goku used to compete in these things, but after he won the tournament he let everything that happened in DBZ distract him from the event, and during that time Mr. Satan became the multi-time World Champion.   The gag with Mr. Satan is that he has no super powers whatsoever, and while he's a brilliant martial artist, he only dominates the competition because all the super-fighters lost interest in the event.  By the end of DBZ, Goku and Mr. Satan's kids got married, so now they rig the tournament like some kind of kung fu mafia: Whoever wins the tournament has to fight Mr. Satan to actually claim the championship, and that person always agrees to take a dive.  By the end of DBZ, the Z-fighters are comfortable letting Mr. Satan serve as a figurehead hero to the people of Earth, while they do all the actual daysaving.  By the GT-era, Satan is now in his mid-fifties, and feels comfortable retiring and passing the torch to someone new.   He tries to rig the event so his grandaughter Pan can win, but she withdraws for fear that she'll be required to wear his ring gear and mustache if she wins.   Goku wanted to compete, but Mr. Satan convinces him to fight in the junior division because he's too short.   Ultimately, it's Uub who wins the tournament, but at the last moment he freezes and Mr. Satan actually eliminates him cleanly.  The reasons for this are complicated, and so I gotta explain Majin Buu.   The final bad guy of Dragon Ball Z was Majin Buu, a genie who could absorb the personalities and traits of his enemies.   This ability eventually caused him to split into two Buus, a good fat Buu and an evil version who went on to be the main villain.  The good Buu made friends with Mr. Satan, and was instrumental in preserving his stranglehold on the World Championship.   The evil Buu was killed by Goku, who wished that he could be reincarnated as a good guy so they could fight again.   Goku's wish came true, and the evil Buu was indeed reincarnated as a young human boy named "Uub" (get it?).   Goku quickly took the boy as his student so he could train him for a rematch and groom him as his successor.   You'd expect that Uub would have been a major player in Dragon Ball GT, but instead he barely ever shows up, and when he did finally make his big move to stop Baby he got his ass kicked.   Fortunately for him, the good Majin Buu stepped in and recombined with Uub, transforming him into "Majuub".   Majuub still got his ass kicked by Baby, but at least he made him work for it.   The point of all this is that Majuub consciously wanted to beat Mr. Satan for the World title, but unconsciously, the part of him that was once Mr. Satan's BFF wanted to let his old pal have the glory one last time.   This is sort of a problem with DBGT.  I meant the show has tons and tons of problems, but this is one that I think deserves more attention.   There's a certain fatalism to the series, because even if it isn't the final act for these characters, they're all older and half of them got 9-to-5 jobs and so forth, so it's clear that things are winding down.   To that end, it makes sense that GT would see the deaths of some of the major characters, but they're all kind of cheap death scenes.  Majin Buu doesn't die so much as he just merges with another iteration of himself.   Mr. Satan misses him, but only because he doesn't understand what's happened.   Piccolo dies, but it was a stupid and pointless sacrifice as I explained last time.   In any event, he shows up later on in the afterlife, so it's not like he's actually gone.   Then there's Krillin, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.   Mr. Satan retaining his title is a variation on the theme.    He talks about retiring, but when the moment arrives, he can't bring himself to step out of the limelight.   In a similar vein, one could argue that Dragon Ball GT should have been mainly about Uub and Pan as the successors to Goku and Gohan, but Goku just couldn't walk away from the action.   Anyway, with that business resolved, the Super 17 Saga can get started.   Basically, it's like the Batman stories where a bunch of villains break out of Arkham Asylum, except all the worst offenders in Dragon Ball are dead, so they have to literally escape from hell.  The plan begins when Dr. Myuu is recruited by Dr. Gero.  Again, it really feels like Toei was just trying to come up with something on the fly, and they decided Gero and Myuu's resemblance was a feature instead of a bug.    Myuu designed the Machine Mutants in the early episodes of GT, and Dr. Gero created the android villains in DBZ.   They're both doctors and they both wear silly hats and long, bushy mustaches.  Also, both of them were betrayed.   Gero was killed when Android 17 turned on him, while Myuu was killed by his creator Baby.   Gero's plan is to work together with Myuu to correct that whole "betrayal" thing that made Android 17 backfire.   Android 17 is still alive on Earth, but if the two doctors build another Android 17 in hell, they can.... harmonize their subspace... tachyons.... resonance.   Something.   All I know is they somehow managed to build an exact duplicate of 17 in hell, so apparently they have hardware stores in hell.   Dragon Ball has never been very consistent about how hell works.   In theory, a dead bad guy is stripped of his corporeal form and he languishes in hell as a disembodied spirit until he's finally allowed to be reincarnated in a new identity.    That's why Frieza can't just beat everyone up and conquer the afterlife.   But Toei always liked the idea of dead bad guys stirring up trouble, so they kept depicting them with their bodies in hell, complete with their full powers.  Dr. Gero was a cyborg, and I think they let him keep his robot body in hell, even though Frieza didn't get to keep his own cyborg implants.   Go figure.   For that matter, I'm pretty sure Dr. Myuu is purely mechanical, so I'm not convinced he'd even be in hell to begin with.    But somehow he and General Rildo are there.    So if Machine Mutants have souls, why isn't Baby there with the other villains?   He's the strongest one, so wouldn't it make more sense to rebuild a stronger version of Baby and use him in the big revenge plan?  Realistically, Toei probably left Baby out deliberately because they just killed him off, but that's why you don't do a story like this right after killing off a major villain. The point of all of this is that "Hell Fighter 17" and "Not Dead Yet 17" are mentally linked because they're basically the same unit in two bodies.   They both fire some sort of energy beam in unison, and this allows them to open a portal connecting Hell and Earth.   It's just sort of implied that the original Android 17 was mind-controlled for all of this, because he's the guy who sent Dr. Gero to hell in the first place, so I doubt he'd willingly endorse a plan to help him get out.   Gero and Myuu send a bunch of dead villains to invade Earth, and they issue a challenge to Goku: Come fight Cell and Frieza in Hell, or we'll send them to Earth too to make the situation even worse.   Goku is eager for a rematch with his old archenemies, even though he's gotten far, far stronger while they've been puttering around the afterlife all this time.   He stupidly flies through the portal, only for Gero and Myuu to close it from the outside.   So now Goku's trapped in Hell and most of his enemies are  causing trouble on Earth.   One of the first episodes of GT I ever saw was #43, because it came on a bonus DVD packaged with a strategy guide for a DBZ videogame.  This was the episode where Goku fights Cell and Frieza in Hell, and I guess they put it on the DVD because it seemed like the best possible choice to promote the new show to DBZ fans.  Cell's my favorite character in the show, so this has gotta be good, right?   Well I watched the episode and quickly realized that GT sucks ass.   First of all, it's been 43 episodes and Goku's still stuck as a child.   He can turn into a Super Saiyan 4 and blow Cell and Frieza away in one hit, but he never does this.   Hell, he could annihilate them in one of the lower Super Saiyan forms.    But this is GT, and GT-logic demands that any preliminary fight be fought in base-form.   Never mind that Goku had to go Super Saiyan the first time he fought these guys.   Now he's fighting them at the same time, with a smaller body, and he wants to do it in normal form.   Frieza and Cell act like they're gonna curbstomp Goku because they have scary new ghost powers, and they can't be killed themselves because they're already dead.   But the reality is that Goku makes them look like idiots because he won't even bother powering up to fight them.  Up your ass, Dragon Ball GT.   At one point, Cell tries to absorb Goku with his scorpion tail, which doesn't even make sense because Cell only absorbs Androids whole, and he doesn't need to absorb anything anymore because he's in his final form.   Goku simply forces his way out of Cell's ass.   Later, Goku defeats Cell and Frieza using a snowblower.   I wish I was kidding.  It's some kind of magic snow blower, designed to freeze dead people, but it's still stupid.  Cell deserved better.   Meanwhile on Earth, the other bad guys get their asses destroyed because they're all incredibly outclassed by the good guys.  Seriously, most of the villains from Dragon Ball were just mercenaries in helicopters and shit.   They were fine at the time, but now all the good guys can throw mountains and shoot lasers from their hands.  They're treated like cannon fodder, and rightfully so, but it kind of makes you wonder what the point of all this was.   I always appreciated the fact that DBZ villains have to die because they're obsolete after their first loss.  The good guys always train and get stronger, so if they were to come back for revenge they'd just be at an even bigger disadvantage.   It's kind of neat to see Nappa come back and confront Vegeta for killing him, except Vegeta's like a thousand times stronger than he was the first time he killed him.   The lame thing is that a handful of the villains might have had a chance, but Toei screwed them over.   Trunks and Goten shoot down Android 19 with hand energy.   Well, fine, they're probably strong enough to do that, except #19 was built with the power to absorb energy blasts.  If a good guy kicked his head off or something I'd be fine with it, but they went for the one quick-kill scenario that made the least amount of sense.  Captain Ginyu can switch bodies, so if he played his cards right he could trade up and be a contender again.   I don't think they even used him in the story, though.  A lot of these guys would have been better off running away from the battle and hiding out somewhere.   I mean, if you're a human bad guy, you could just slip away in the confusion and if you can stay out of trouble for a few days, you're home free.  You'd think most of these rank and file guys would rather have a new lease on life than revenge on some goofy kid they only met once.   Once the villain army is wrapped up, Gero and Myuu sic Hell Fighter 17 on Vegeta, while the original #17 wanders off and tries to seduce his twin sister, Android #18.   I'm not really sure what his motives are exactly, but he does some sort of hypnotic thing to her, but when Krillin snaps her out of it, he kills him, then attacks 18 when she objects.  Maybe Gero wanted to use 18 in his plan, or this was 17's personality trying to fight his programming, but whatever.   Guess how Vegeta fights Hell Fighter 17.   If you said "base form", congratulations, you understand GT-Logic.   Gero and Myuu summon the other Android 17 to the battle, and they combine them together to make "Super Android 17", a taller, more eyebrow-deficient version.   Super 17 basically no-sells everything, and his secret weapon is that he can absorb energy from his opponents, just like #19 could do, except it actually works.   Vegeta, Trunks, Goten, Gohan, and Majuub all take turns getting their asses kicked, then they finally power up and do it all over again.   I should point out that the original, non-super, one-at-a-time 17 was more than a match for a Super Saiyan back in the day, and yet they all had to try fighting him in base form, just in case it suddenly works this time.  The whole thing is a pointless debacle, because we all know Super 17 is too strong for anyone but Goku to fight, so we're just marking time until he can show up to save the day.   Fortunately, Piccolo has an idea to free Goku, but he's stuck in heaven because he's a good guy.   The guy in charge of that sort of thing refuses to send Piccolo to hell, so Piccolo starts blowing shit up to deserve the punishment.  Once he arrives in hell, Piccolo starts duplicating the Android 17 thing.   He and Dende time their energy beams just right, and that creates a polaron inversion that realigns the warp field coils, allowing Goku to jump back to Earth.  Piccolo is unfortunately stuck in Hell now, but he gets to spend all his free time beating up bad guys, so he's probably happier that way.   Goku finally comes to the rescue and shockingly transforms to fight Super 17.   The only beef here is that he starts out in Super Saiyan.........1, the same form Vegeta used when he got his ass kicked.  After a short warmup, he finally gets down to business and whips out SSJ4.   The weird thing is that Super Saiyan 4 was GT's signature thing, and yet they barely ever let Goku use it.   It's like they were embarrassed or something.  It doesn't really matter anyway, because Super 17 can just absorb Goku's energy no matter how strong he is, so Goku gets beaten just as easily as his weaker allies.   I should point out that, along the way, Super 17 turned on both Dr. Gero and Dr. Myuu.   In Gero's case, Myuu secretly programmed Super 17 to only follow his own orders, but then he later blows up Dr. Myuu in an act of defiance, so it probably would have come to that no matter what.   The only thing that stops Super 17 is his sister. 18 shows up at the critical moment and demands revenge in spite of the odds.  Her rejection of what 17 has become stirs his original personality, and he manages to sabotage himself just enough that Goku can use 18's attack as a diversion and defeat him with a Super Dragon Fist.   For no obvious reason, 18 tears her blouse during this scene.   GT.  Logic.   So the saga ends as it began, with a character taking a dive to let a weaker character win.  Not that I was rooting for Super 17 or anything, but it doesn't really make Goku look special when he can't even fight his own battles.   On the other hand, Android 17 is finally, definitively killed, after years of being in a sort of limbo where no one really knew what had happened to him.  It's really the only death scene they let stick, so I guess I have to give some credit there.   The interface of hell and Earth causes environmental problems, so Goku resolves to find the Dragon Balls and use them to restore the Earth and resurrect Krillin.  Unfortunately, all seven Dragon Balls are cracked.   These are the good old Red Star Dragon Balls, by the way, the ones that don't blow up the Earth when you use them.   At least, they used to be reliable... NEXT: Breakin' my balls

[sanderstalker]

Speech

I am writing a speech for a completion and I normally ask my parents for help but this year is going to be a surprise can I get some peoples opinion on what I have. Be honest I want it to be good.

@theincediblesulk, @whatwashernameagain, @a-dot-ham-art, @kaioanxiety I am curious what you guys think of this.

Hi, my name is Molly Wilson I am 17 years old and this year I am going to be Senior in High school, and that is honestly a terrifying thing to think about. It means I am growing up and with that comes a whole slew of new responsibilities. I need to get a job, figure out what college I want to go to. I don’t even know what I want to go to college for.

Not to mention with becoming an adult a lot of things are going to change. I will have to pay adult prices for things like swimming and fair admission. I won’t be considered a junior in activities anymore, such as dog handling, baking, and speech competitions. I am going to age out of girl scouts, and I will be leaving high school. This isn’t even including the changes at holidays. I won’t sit at the kids' table during thanksgiving. Trick- or-treating, well I still can, but that usually ends with weird looks. Also, I am too old to get visited by any holiday icons anymore, because they are busy enough with the next group of kids.

Everything is changing so fast I feel as though I have whiplash from it all. I like my life. I like the way it is and I am terrified of the changes that are guaranteed to happen.

However, if there is any saving grace to all this chaos of “growing up” it would be my family. They are the people I have spent my entire life with. They have been with me from birth.  

I was born not breathing properly so I had to stay alone in the hospital by myself for several days. My brother who is 4 years older than me bought me a stuffed dog to keep me company. A stuffie I still have to this day. He has been the best big brother I could have possibly asked for. He has always tried to include me in his things and he tries to take an interest in the things I enjoy. We may bicker as most siblings do, but we are always there for each other.

My father has also been a very important part of my life growing up, he is goofy, weird, and most importantly a dork. He makes the weirdest comments and can be quite the bear if he skips out on lunch. Despite his eccentric behaviors I love him dearly, he will do just about anything I ask of him. I have shared many secrets with him out of trust. He can be strict but he always tries his best for me. My favorite thing about my dad though his doing daddy-daughter dancing with him at my dance studio. Despite his protest every year without fail he has done it with me and it is an experience that I will always treasure.

And last but definitely not least is my mother. She is my best friend. She has helped me so much throughout my life. She is always there for me. Volunteering to go on field trips with my class in elementary school, signing me up for dance classes, helping me with my dog training, coaching my soccer team to win three championships in a row. We spend so much time together it is unreal. She has helped me through a time when I was bullied by my best friend. She held and comforted me when my pet gecko died, and bought me a hamster to help me feel better. She has done so many things for me that I can’t even put into words. I really, really appreciate her. She works really hard to keep everyone around her happy and I will always admire her for that.

So, yes I am growing up and that still scares me to no end, but I know I have a family I can turn to when things get to be too much. And I am so incredibly grateful to have that support.

Thank You.

[intothespideyverses]

a modest reinterpretation of “andi’s choice” in c-minor (inspired by a post by @ambimack)

in which bowie ghostwrites a song, andi tries to go ghost on walker, and [insert third awful ghost pun here]: 

so bowie is actually ringing up customers for once at the music store that I figured rarely got business because helloo it’s always damn near empty but I guess today there was a surge of customers seeking out guitar picks and vinyls to show how Cultured and Unique they were for listening to the beatles or whomever. anyway jonah is on his guitar, doing as jonahs are wont to do, and bowie drops the bomb on him with “so yeah remember that music coach I told you about? she hates you. she quite frankly and literally wants you dead. she told me this herself. why didn’t you show up???” and jonah’s like “andi don’t fw me anymore :(” which isn’t rly an answer bc lbr here homeboy was ALREADY running late. you mean to tell me him staring at that painting took 4 whole minutes? nah. 

so anyway bowie’s like “hm let’s change that” bc manipulating your daughter’s emotions behind her back is cool I guess. bowie, totally not projecting in any way whatsoever, suggests that jonah write andi a song. jonah’s not about it tho. “I can’t talk about my feelings!” he says, which is true considering he only just started exhibiting negative emotions for the first time ever last week. bowie goes, “sure u can! what rhymes with back?” and jonah almost says “crack!” bc thats clearly what bowie’s been on for the past 2 episodes but lemme not.

anyway jump to andi @ the spoon and her boo thang who’s not rly her boo thang yet bc terri hates us is facetiming her again. “so andi, my wife whom I would die for, what’s up?” and andi replies “my best friend is moving away :(” so walker, the understanding king he is, goes “aw pick your head up queen, your crown’s falling :’)” and tells her to go be with her friends and something about a bubble machine idk but w/e we still stan.

buffy comes in w/ all the junk the ghc left at her house including a knockoff tamagotchi which seems kinda before andi’s time?? like she was supposedly 7 when she got it which would have been around 2010? but once again w/e we still stan. and buffy reads the recommendation letter cyrus’ mom wrote for him which seemed a tad incomplete. “I can’t believe my mom forgot to add three references, what a waste...” he sighs.

but walker comes in and andi’s like “tf didn’t u just tell me to drink bubble soap and be w/ my friends? what r u doing here?” and walker, the modern day da vinci, says “im here to draw ur friends as a going away present for your fellow queen, buffy” and buffy looks shooketh like hey if andi don’t want him go get him sis! 

so walker draws a louvre level artist rendering of the ghc and instead of appreciating the fact that walker could probably make an exact recreation of the mona lisa, andi’s like “*rolls eyes emoji* *sucks teeth emoji* now i got TWO of these little boys after me what the fuck -_-” but that doesn’t matter bc buffy and cyrus are LIVING for it. 

“im gay so clearly im the better sassy best friend, step tf back bitch”

“the sassy best friend stereotype was made for my black ass cyrus so if you think for even a second I won’t claim my rightful spot you are sadly mistaken”

“let me have this one thing buffy I can’t even say the word gay out loud on this damn show can I at least have this?? can I?”

buffy takes a sip of her virgin margarita and goes...

anyway back at the music shop, jonah has just finished practicing the song bowie ghostwrote for him. jonah’s like “great this is perfect for me to sing outside andi’s window” and bowie quite litcherally flips a table and goes “you rly thought u were gonna pull that corny shit??? what year is it?? 1985 called they want their courtship technique back lol what a loser” and jonah’s like hm perhaps he really is on crack but doesn’t say it out loud bc that would hurt bowie’s feelings :/. bowie says that he already booked jonah to perform at the open mic being held THAT NIGHT lmao and jonah just about has another panic attack bc what??

“what??” he asks bowie who is too busy thinking about him performing “you girl” to bex when they were younger to even remember who jonah even is. jonah’s quite honestly shitting himself and wondering what tf he’s going to do. “being around you” is cute and all but it doesn’t go nearly as hard as andi deserves, especially if he now has to compete with artsy fartsy walker who could probably redo the sistine chapel all by himself if he rly wanted to. “hm..........how can one convey how truly deep in their feelings they are for the one they love?” jonah asks the universe, bc hey it seems to always work for bowie. 

the universe responds by sending a speeding car full of college kids blasting aubrey graham’s newest hit single right into the storefront window. 

“that’s it!” 

jonah’s handing out flyers at the spoon and cyrus literally melts into a puddle and I’m pretty sure this is the first nod to his crush on jonah since he came out to andi wow. andi’s like “since when do u do anything aside from throwing a plastic disc?” and jonah’s like “last week 🤗"

they go to the open mic and some girlie is throwing it DOWN w/ her accordion but bowie being the uncultured swine he is, pulls her off the stage. “anywayyyy here’s our final performance and the only reason we held this show tonight, give a big round of applause to jonah beck!”

jonah walks out with his guitar and an amazon copyrighted product shaped like a portable speaker. bowie’s like 🤨 bc this was supposed to be an acoustic performance tf does he need a backing track for? jonah sits down on his lil stool and clears his throat. “alexa play ‘in my feelings, jonah beck cover’”. the device plays a track consisting of jonah’s angelic backing vocals, and our boy begins to strum his guitar. he opens his mouth to croon...

“trap...trap bowie bowie”

bowie’s chiseled jaw drops to dirty ass music shop floor. “this is...not what I planned.”

“this stuff’s got me in my feelings...gotta be real w/ it...”

the entire audience has a collective heart attack. 

“an-di, do u luv me? r u riding? say you’ll never ever leave from beside me, cause I want ya and I need ya, and I’m down for u always...”

buffy and cyrus catch whiplash from turning so fast to face andi. “the song’s about YOU bitch!”

andi shakes her lil head. “puh-lease, no it’s not”

cyrus, doing his best not to cry, says “he literally just said ur name but go off”

andi’s in denial bc eww j*n*h b*ck? singing a song? for her? disgusting. but jonah keeps singing his little heart out and the lyrics are more and more damning as they go on. 

“trap, trap bowie bowie...I buy you rice on a string cause you not that showy”

“art 101 cause u just like zoey”

“fuck he is singing about me...”

“fudge that netflix and chill what’s ur net-net-net worth?” jonah sings, hitting an impossible high note. queen of vocals. 

“you’re the only one I luv~~~” he serenades, serving us mariah carey level whisper notes. ariana is cancelled! our boy finishes the song, basking in the thought of how many careers he singlehandedly ended by performing at this small hole-in-the-wall music shop in bumfuck, utah. drake your days are numbered sis. 

everyone immediately deserts the shop en masse like did y’all see how fast they all left last episode?? damn. buffy and cyrus stay behind while andi is frozen sitting in her chair bc what the hell does one say to that. 

bowie goes up to jonah and is like “so um...that was...different.” and jonah responds “ikr! see, ‘being around you’ felt too old school, too...2002. idk why that year specifically, but idk it just sounds like it was written in 2002 for a completely different person, maybe even bex, but what do I know? im just your friendly neighborhood jonah beck.” bowie is shook. “anyway, do u think andi liked it?” bowie looks up to see his dorder who he’s more or less forgot about in favor of m*randa and demon child for the past couple of days walking in slow motion to the stage. how she was doing that was beyond him. “well, she looks like she’s about to cry so that’s either a very good thing or a very bad thing. ur on ur own now bud.” and he skidaddles to where bex is waiting. oh yeah bex was in this episode too I forgot. 

andi approaches jonah and he’s like “...so...song....you like?” and andi’s internally screaming bc everyone for the past several weeks has been pushing this relationship on her including jonah himself and now he just sung this song in front of all these ppl and now she pretty much HAS to kiss him so anyway ya she does. 

when she pulls away jonah blinks. “oh...dosche”

THE END. 

will andi finally break up with jonah for good? will jonah avoid copyright infringement for covering a drake song on disney channel? will bowie seek help for his crack addiction? find out next time on dragonball z!