#i feel lonely using this tag hahaaa...

[boozye]

Ask me again.

Satan x Asexual reader (pronouns you/yours, no gender specified)

Comfort? IDEK

Established relationship

Word count: 971

Cover art by me (recycled)

Someone needs reassurance from societal pressure and expectations! (you, you fucking do ((me actually)))

Guess who spent 2 hours writing nonstop instead of sleeping? Here, have the fruits of my insomnia. Not proofread, didn't bother checking punctuation, good luck soldier.

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Oh it was one of those days, wasn't it? When your confidence wavered. You've been through this before. You knew what you needed. But would this be the last straw for him?

In vain you attempted to carry on as if nothing was amiss within you. But he noticed. Of course he noticed. He's arguably the most observant person there's ever been, of you at least. Yet so tactful about it.

You tried to hold his hand as usual. Let him touch you affectionately without tensing up. Be close to his face and his body without hesitation. But you couldn't really help it. And who knows how many other signs you weren't even aware of he had picked up already.

Was this more aggravating to him than if you just asked for what you needed? The thoughts swarmed your mind. Again. Again their buzz overtook reason. You had been doing so well too... So you just started preparing, mentally, for what you had to say.

Meanwhile, Satan was figuring things out at his own pace. Were you growing scared? Of him? Well he could see why. His temper still got the best of him sometimes. And he knew that what to him and other demons was just a mild grumpy spell, to a regular human could be rather violent or scary.

Yet whenever he talked about it, you reassured him that no, you weren't afraid of him. You held him so lovingly and told him. Told him that you knew he'd never hurt you or try to again.

His thoughts were interrupted by you, in the flesh, of all things. You sat by him in the library and looked him in the eyes. Your expression wasn't upset but he could see you were going to say something important.

"Can we walk back home? Whenever is okay. I'll just hang around here until you are done."

A calculated request, he deduced. But you were asking for him in a way. It was a relief. He sighed with a soft smile and answered:

"Sure, I couldn't focus on what I was reading much today anyways. Let's just go."

With that, you calmly picked up your bags and left the building.

Your walk started out casual enough. Barely anyone on the streets at this hour, something you both prefer. But Satan saw you were bracing yourself to say something.

"Satan," you sighed "do you remember what I said when we started dating?"

He blushed very faintly. "You said you were really happy and you hugged me so hard... And then you grabbed my face and kissed m-"

You gaped for a second in surprise before interrupting him. "Nooo, not that."

He looked back at you, expecting to hear what you meant. You cleared your throat and elaborated.

"When I asked if you were really okay with me being asexual?"

He looked back at you a little puzzled "I believe I said that I was perfectly fine with that?"

You nodded, "yes, well, right after that."

He aimed his gaze down trying to remember. The bliss of the moment might have made him dismiss anything he didn't immediately figure out.

In the meantime, outside his head, the words itched in your throat, you planned to just remind him, but this conversation was turning excruciating for you. Just as he remembered, your voice next to him echoed his memory:

"Can I ask again in the future?"

He looked at you with a mixture of realization and curiosity. You continued.

"You told me that I could, Satan. So..."

You took a few seconds to still your resolve.

"Are you okay with it?"

There it was, the prickle in his expression. You didn't want to see it. You knew this question could be bothersome. But you needed this.

"Y/N, of course I am! Did I overstep your boundaries in any way? Please tell me so I don't repeat it again. I apologize, I truly didn't mean to..."

He trails off. But you are already raising your hand and trying to wave his concern away. Ashamed, you reply.

"No, no Satan. Listen. I just needed to ask again. You didn't overstep or anything. I like touching you, and being touched by you as well."

He nods, but stays silent for you to continue.

"But, well... I just didn't want to raise your expectations with that sort of contact. It's happened before with other people and it hasn't ended well."

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "Humans are so fickle."

You look at him wideyed, clearly hurt.

"Wait, not you, I didn't mean you!" He drags his hand down his face "Sorry, sorry" before continuing, he gathers his thoughts, "what I mean is that that is not something you have to worry about with me."

"Was it wrong of me to ask?"

He looks forward, wideyed with full realization. Then he stops walking and faces you with his entire posture as you stop a couple steps after him. He puts a hand on your shoulder and solemnly says " Y/N, never feel bad for needing reassurance. It is not wrong. How many times have you reassured me? That you aren't afraid of me? I didn't realize at the time that was what your question meant. But yes, you can ask me again. As many times as you want. It won't only not bother me, I will tell you that I love you every time and mean it. I love you."

You put your hand on his, getting misty eyed. Before your tears take over, you lean forward and kiss him briefly. Then you part from his lips and hug him, squeezing as hard as you can. He hugs back, pats your head, then chuckles and leans back, lifting your feet from the floor briefly, making you chuckle as well.