#i gave up in the middle of it cna u tell

[mishantics]

he should give me cpr

Taglist:

@chichikoi, @tiredsleep , @karmawonders , @color-puff-ball , @laireste , @haliyamori , @venusflwers , @aimynx , @mocha-bunbun , @cynoifyy , @kkomaism

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[i-am-parsec]

                                                                                                              10/30/2020

Nine hundred days.

I’ve existed in a world without you for nine hundred days. Our daughter is almost as tall as me. Our son now uses words that seem too big for his small mouth. They’ve grown so much and...

This is pointless. This is fucking stupid. I don’t want to do this. I know I have to and there’s this tiny voice in the back of my head that whispers I should be grateful that I get to see Esperanza and Samuel again, that I get to sleep in my own bed again, that I should simply do as I’m told and enjoy whatever few freedoms I’ve been granted and I know that’s the smart thing to do, ok? But I’m so sick and tired of this, of all the repetition, the exercises, the meetings, all for nothing! Nothing! I’m broken, that’s it! They can not fix me and every pill they push down my throat and every appointment with a new therapist they write on that stupid white board and every damn piece of paper they make me fill up, incessantly, like a child in detention is just a fucking waste of...time…

Now that I’ve written it down, I have to admit it is quite ridiculous that I’d be complaining about wasting time since that seems to be the only thing I have plenty of. The only thing I have, period. So, no, I don't want to do this, but given that I have absolutely nothing else to do and that the new nurse they assigned me appears to be bitchier that the rest and I am in no mood to argue with a very young, recently graduated, awfully entitled CNA, I guess...we are doing this.

I guess I’m writing you one more letter.

I do appreciate the fact that I get to write whatever I want and keep it to myself instead of filling up one more “How are feeling today?” form, full of disgusting stickers and smiley faces, that I have to hand in but...I honestly don’t even know where to start - the world kept moving alright, just not in a direction most of us could’ve seen coming.

I guess I'll simply say it: we are in the middle of a pandemic, Chase. It’s been around for about 8 months now and it’s partly the reason why I’m back home, other than good behavior. Oh, there’s also that, the fact that I was “away”. See, I was first hospitalized for a couple days and then locked up in a mental institution since, after our little “meeting” of sorts, I had a rather predictable existential crisis and went a bit, what in the medical field is referred to as, apeshit crazy. Now that it’s been over a year since said incident, I have to admit I’m slightly proud of having gone so insane that seven grown men were required to hold me down. I guess crossing planes of existence is, as you’d say, a hell of a drug. Worst trip of my life, no doubts about it, but quite memorable.

In other news, Ana is now the only legal guardian of our children. Trust me, this displeases me as much as I can imagine it displeases you, but it does make sense. I’ll be the first to admit I’m absolutely incapable of taking care of them. Whatever happened that night, it changed me. I love them as much as I did the day I walked into that forest, I don’t believe there’s a force in this or any other universe that can take that away from me...but pretty much everything else I once was...it’s gone. My sister tries her hardest to get a meaningful reaction out of me, a chuckle, an insult, a knowing look, even a sigh, something familiar, something that tells her that the little girl that she once adored is still here, that I’m still here.

But I’m not. I suppose I don't have to tell you that.

Nonetheless, she works hard to maintain the husk of a woman I am these days in decent shape. Once I was found after spending an undetermined amount of days in the wilderness, famished and horribly dehydrated - which only makes the fact that, even in those conditions, I gave a 6 feet tall men a black eye so much more impressive -, she had me admitted at the best hospital she could afford, never asking our accountant for a cent. When I finally started engaging with my caregivers, she surrounded me with all sorts of doctors to help my obviously fractured mind navigate reality. I am certainly not easy to handle so many have thrown the towel and walked away from me but Ana quickly replaces them with someone new, who she claims has even better qualifications and is more fitted to my needs. My needs. I would like know what she thinks my needs are. I would like to know what I need. I would like to need something at all. To want something. To feel the things I logically know I used to feel but I simply forgot how to.

The way even breathing felt off at the beginning...the unnatural taste behind every small human action, it fades, slowly but not fully. I eat, but there’s no flavor, there’s no way of filling up my stomach. I smile, but I literally had to retrain my facial muscles in order to do it again so I wouldn’t scare my own kids. I have emotions, I do, but it is almost as if I went from having a massive range to only four: love for my children, rage for the world, apathy for my sister and her battalion of therapists and...something for Sean and Henrik. Something almost like hunger or lust...it’s a pull, warm, sticky and elastic that drives most of my thoughts in their direction. A normal, sensible mind would claim it is a need for some well deserved answers, some closure, but my insensible self knows better than that. This wanting isn’t normal, or mine. It doesn’t belong to me, but it lives within me.

I guess it’s a good thing for Henrik I am not allowed to leave my home without a chaperone and even better for Sean that travelling abroad is straight up banned. I guess it’s a good thing for me that this silent plague has slowed down the world for a while, giving me time to catch my breath after the shit show that went down last year. But the gears of Life are trying to speed up, everyone is eager to leave the quietness behind and sooner than later, the pull in my soul will find a chance to drag me where it wants to go. I don’t know what will happen then. I wish I could say that I’m afraid to find out, but I’m not. I suppose I don't have to tell you that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Link to all the chapters in chronological order, here. Link to the last chapter, if you can even call it that, here.

Heeeey, did u read all of that? You did? Do u wanna know what the Fuck is going on, if there’s gonna be more of this bullshit coming soon? Well, for starters, there’s another new chapter here, that I’m gonna be posting like right after this one, and secondly, If go and read that one and hit the keep reading thingy there’s a bit of rantin’ with some info, so u can go there! see u tomorrow <3

❤️Tag list❤️: @amyxmiaplay​ @beckofthewoods​ @closedworldofmathiel​ @darktrash-drash @fanfictionrecommendations-com @flyingfishflopsthings @fruitycasket @hiimizzyxoxo @hishex @scarlet-mangata @mcomegalletas @mijako98 @mysterious-cupcake-ninja @mysticalanimallover @novasingalaxies @plutoandpolaris @probablyghosting @randomartdudette @saltyweirdbi @scarlet--raven @septicuniverse @skyewardlight @thevampireauthoress @youllnevertaketheskyfromme​ @rats-this-username-is-taken

[squishymochisoo]

more than a voice || hwang hyunjin

bulleted scenario 

genre: fluff, teeny weeny angst, college au

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

sypnosis: you, a mute piano major, would have never thought that hwang hyunjin, a dance major, would even look your way

~            ~           ~

• you’re a piano major — bUT the one thing that differentiated you and the others in your school was that

• you’re mute

•basicALLY one day after school hyunjin — dance major —was walking down the down the halls

•and just heard this BEAUTIFUL melody of the piano and was like freaking inspired by it

•it was like perfect for an dance assignment he had

• “uh hey” hyunjin voiced behind you as you were deep into playing,, he didn’t know youre name and has never seen you around

• i mean of course you didn’t turn around (cuz you didn’t hear him )

•he tapped your shoulder and you instantly turned

•your eyes widened

•i mEAN THAT PERFECT POPULAR STUDENT is right in FRONT OF YOU???

• “uh...h”

• honestly hyunjin forgot what he wanted to say when he saw your eyes

•he was like lost in them

• (CUTE THIS IS CUTE)

• and silence followed right after

•you stood up bowing as if to apologize

• basically you thought that he wanted the piano in the practice room (you are an AWKWARD BEAN!!)

• ,,, grabbing your bag and the hastily clumped the music scores (u were in the middle of writing a piece) together and like walked out the door briskly

• hyunjin stared after you before realizing you left one music sheet behind

• ‘fuck i forgot to get their name??? good going hyunjin??’

• THE NEXT DAY,,, he’d ask his group of friends if they knew you

•of course everyone was like ????

•partly because of hyunjin’s shit description of you

• “of you know that student that plays the piano in practice room 3”

• his friends are liKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE ARE LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHO PLaYED THE PIANO

• hyunjin would roll his eyes he knew his friends was gonna be rEALLY unhelpful

• he took out the music sheet you left behind,,, scribbles of notes surrounded the paper

• “oh? isn’t that y/n’s???”

•seungmin recognized your handwriting anywhere

• seungmin and you were friends

• one day you were playing the piano and seungmin complimented you and suddenly

•y’all friends

•he couldn’t speak sign but you could communicate just fine with him

•he always helped you when you were in need of a second opinion when you’re writing a piece

• “wHERE CNA I FIND THEM”

• desperation dripping from hyunjin’s voice

• “uhh they’re always at practice room 3 after class”

• “okAY BYE”

•seungmin didn’t even have time to tell him that youre mute

•this time hyunjin was already waiting in the practice room before you came in

•you’re like wtf??? when you saw him sitting in front of the piano

•hyunjin giggled at your look of shock and waved the music sheet you left behind in front of you

•you took back the sheet of paper and smiling lightly ask if to say thank you

• hyunjin njij thought you were just shy ( and was not comfortable with talking to strangers)

• you put your thing down and sat infront of the piano

•in your head you were still “what IS HE DOING HERE,,, like it was THE HYUNJIN ya know

• hyunjin took a chair and gestured as if asking permission to sit next to you

•you nodded ( just a little freaking shocked but okay)

• (ngl your eyes travelled down to his cute nose and his pouty lips for a little while)

• hyunjin stared at you as you started playing jotting down new notes

•liTERAL HEART EYES HONESTLY uwuuwu

• he smiled as you would tilt your head when you were stuck not knowing how to write the next bar

• after 15 minutes he fINALLY tapped your shoulders

•uhhhhh hi i’m hyunjin”

• kay you were like ??? cause it was been almost 20 minutes and he’s just introducing himself

• unbeknownst to you hyunjin’s mind was like a MESS during the past 20mins

• he wanted to talk to you but like hoW?

•plus he didn’t want to interrupt your bEAUTIFUL PLAYING

• you smiled before picking up your pencil and writing your name on the side of music sheet

• y/n

• hyunjin stared at you a little

• “o-oh.. you’re mute?”

• you gave him a tight smile and nodded

• ofc he was just reacting like everyone else uGH

• hyunjin saw yr reaction and was like nO NO NO

• he didn’t mean it that way he was like shocked ya know

• (cause he thought you were just shy)

• silence followed again

• hyunjin was mentaly encouraging himself to continue the conversation

• ‘c’MON HYUNJIN YOU CAN DO THIs’

• “uh...u..h would you like to perform with me?”

•your eyes went WIDE like whATT???

• is this kid srs right now?? you??

• “yesterday when i came in — the piece yoh were playing was amazing and i’d be so happy if you’d let me dance to it while you play”

•hyunJIN WAS SO SHY BUT LIKE HE WANTED TO PERFORM YOU

•ESPECIALLY AFT SEEING YOU WRITE YOUR PIECES WITH SUCH PASSION FOR MUSIC AND LIKE WOW

•wOW JUST WOW

•and well you agreed

• that’s how your friendship started

•it was hard to communicate at first bUT

•you didn’t know that hyunjin was learning sign languGe

•he wanted to mKe sure that you’re comfortable when talking to him

•( since you had to write everythign down,,)

•one day he invited you to eat with his griup of friends

•”well GUESS YOU DONT NEED ME ANYMORE HMPH”

•seungmin pouted 😤😤

•”y/n wont need you anymore when she has me!” hyunjin declared

•your heart sped up a little JUST A LITTLE

•the other laughed and teased hyunjin

• “oooOOOOHHH HYUNJIN”

•the two of you practiced really hard everyday after school

• you finishing up the last details of the piece and hyunjin choreograhping a dance

• yall spent so much time tgt that he knew your habits

•you’d bit your nails when you’re nervous or anxious

•the hyunjin’s assignment dateline was two weeks away and well yall were prepared and READY

•so instead of practicing everyday

•yall just hanging out tgt in prac room 3

• let’s be real hyunjin wasn’t discreet with his feelings for you but he wasn’t SO open abt it either

•it’s usually a “you look so beautiful today” or “i can’t stop staring at you”

•i mean like HOW BLIND ARE YOU

• you’re not so experienced in the relationship area

• so you’re like is he flirting with me???

• one day hyunjin found you crying in prac rm 3 aft school

•you weren’t bawling just sobbing — as if not to let anybody hear you cry

•it was because of your previous class!

• you were critized that your playing was emotionless almost robotic and that another piece you wrote for an assignment was shIT

•not to mention someone also said as you passed by

• “they’re just a mute,,, why are they here,,, tch not even talented”

• you felt untalented you felt like you didn’t belong here

• but you couldn’t explain it to hyunjin

• were you supposed to stop crying to write it down????

• hyunjin hugged you

• and comforted you “it’s okay you can cry on me”

• “you dont need to tell me “

• you glanced at him as the both of you sat close to each other — tights touching

• you sniffled

• he gave you an encouraging smile before signing

• tell me

• waIT SIGNED

• he SIGNED TO YOU

•wtf??!!? were you dreaming?? how?? when???

• your stAte of shock subsided and you signed to him — telling him everything that was bothering you

• hyunjin’s smile dropped — his eyes glassy,,, from seeing you almost tear up again

•he NEVER wanted to see you cry ever again!!!

•you are so talented please don’t—

• he stopped

• you could see the gears in his brain working not knowing the word ‘listen’ in sign

• you giggled as your arms went around him

• “you’re so talented. don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not. the nxt time somebody says that i’ll beat them up i promise” 👊👊

•you sniffled in his shirt

• “i also promise to study sign even harder “

• you didn’t manage to tell him but you were fucking TOUCHED

•never has anyone picked up sign for you

•you felt special

• you felt loved

• “and before i forget” hyunjin muttered,, his face pressed on the top of your head as he pecked it

• he let go of you

• and signed

• i love you

|||

my first try @ bulleted scenarios???? i wanted to write then i got lazy but i love and am invested in this plot line so i did a bullet scenario lmaoooo

but let me know if you like it and want more of this kind of writing??? also not beta’d cause i lazy 

[sleepyskjolle]

PHARMA (Michael Myers x OC) // Chapter 01

A/N: So, I'm VERY new to writing fanfiction (although I've done a decent amount of RP-ing), so please be gentle with me - u -

I also wanted to make a point to not add any specific physical descriptors to our protagonist, June, so that she can be whatever you want her to be! So I suppose the story is kind of a mix between self-insert, original character, and x reader! Please feel free to tell me what you think! o u o

Summary: For June, any job was better than fast food. That of course included being hired as the specialized aide for Haddonfield's most prolific serial killer.

Set Pre-Halloween (2018)

November 21, 2017 Smith's Grove Sanitarium. Warren County, IL.

The walls of the office June sat in were just as stained and grungy as they were the first time she entered almost two weeks prior. She waited once again to see the head psychiatrist of this institution. The same institution that had loomed on the edges of her suburban hometown since the early 20th century.

Her fingers rubbed against each other in a simple pattern as she tried to calm the nervousness that was lapping at the edges of her consciousness. The ticking of the clock served as a melody for her fidgeting and it was starting to feel like she'd been waiting there an hour, although she knew that wasn't the case.

When the door finally did open, June turned to greet the doctor, a smile only crafted by years of customer service flashing.

"Good morning, Dr. Sartain, I'm sorry I'm a little early. I hope it's not a problem or anything." Apologizing for literally anything was another trait that had been beaten into the girl during her early years of employment.

The doctor just smiled back and physically waved her apology away. "There is no need for that, Ms. Jones. Promptness is a sign of a dedicated worker, and you are going to need dedication for the position you've been hired for." The small man makes his way around the desk and lowers into the well-used chair, immediately leaning onto his elbows to look at her more closely. His eyes are still kind, but his demeanor turns very serious very quickly. "You read the entire packet I gave you, correct? And the files?"

"Yes sir. I read over both pretty thoroughly, but I don't think I have any serious questions." Her fingers itched to fiddle again so she decided to clutch at the seam of her straight-out-of-the-package scrub top to quell the urge.

Dr. Sartain gave her a slightly incredulous look, pausing for a tense moment before speaking again. "And you are absolutely positive, Ms. Jones, that you want to take this job?"

June understood why he felt the need to ask. In retrospect, this was a dangerous thing, what she had signed up for. She didn't quite realize that when she signed the contracts that make it so the institute isn't liable if you get hurt. It became pretty clear though, when she had to go through a week of training and was told enough stories and shown enough scars to scare most anybody away. She learned a lot of ways to be safe though, and multiple ways to get away, as nobody was allowed to even detain the residents except for the guards, who usually sat half a compound away in their station. You weren't allowed to hurt a resident, even to protect yourself.

"Yes sir. I... I'm not afraid."

The doctor's intense demeanor switched off like a light and suddenly he was smiling warmly at her again and leaning back in his seat. "Good. You came at a good time too... He's been without an aide for a few weeks now at this point. Not that he necessarily NEEDS an aid, but most everyone that works here refuses to give him even decent care. At least in my professional opinion...” The doctor’s face betrays a slight bit of disdain for a split second “And, as I've explained to you previously, your position is sort of a last ditch effort to rehabilitate Michael."

Sartain coughs into his hand then begins to rise back up, using the desk for assistance.

"Come. It's time to introduce you to the nurses. Afterwards, we will let you meet your charge."

June follows the doctor without a word, nervous and a little bit excited, which always comes with a new job. She hoped the other orderlies liked her, naturally, but she was more worried about Michael. The doctor, and even the ones in charge of training, explained extensively just how many aides Michael had already gone through. Many either quitting suddenly and unexpectedly and the others being fired after a month or more of Mr. Myers showing no significant change. Apparently, Sartain had realized that he wouldn't be able to get through to Michael due to his distrust in doctors, or at least he assumed that was why. He petitioned to have this position made in an effort to find someone Michael could trust. So far, no luck.

Would she be any different?

The trek to the nurse's station was mostly uneventful, other than the intense security check they had to go through just past the doctor's office, at the entrance to the ward. Sartain assured her it would be swifter once she was given her clearance card but June knew that it was important that the residents weren't given access to anything that they could use to harm themselves or others. At Smith's Grove, careful was an understatement.

Most of the nurses were older and gave the girl just a side glance before returning to their work. The ones closer to her age, and a male guard that was chatting and flirting with a younger employee, greeted her with big smiles. There were too many names to remember immediately but the nametags would help.

One CNA, a younger guy named Nate, shook her hand and wished her luck. After that, it was like everyone remembered just why she was there. She mumbled a quick "thank you" as Sartain began to lead her further down the hall, watching the concerned eyes follow her until she was out of sight.

Dr. Sartain pulled her back from the distraction with his thick accent, "Michael should be in the cafeteria by this point, eating breakfast. This will be a good time to introduce you, while there are guards watching. Just in case, you see."

The ward was sort of maze-like, but there were signs indicating the cafeteria was close. The rusty looking red doors came into view and Sartain asked if she had the itinerary on hand. June's fingers slipped into her pocket in search of the folded paper, just to make sure.

"Yeah. Yeah, I've got it." They pause just outside the doors and he points through the rectangular window at an old man sitting alone in the middle of the large room. There were plenty of other residents already up and scarfing down their breakfasts but there was a wide berth around the one they were watching. The man, who had to be Michael, was staring out the nearest window. His breakfast sandwich sat half-eaten in his grip.

June's gaze breaks to look for some bit of affirmation on the doctor's face, her arms crossed to prevent her fingers from worrying her scrubs into oblivion. "Do you think he'll like me?"

"Hm... Well, judging by past trials, it's likely he won't take to anyone. But... it's possible, Ms. Jones. No one really knows what's going on in that grey head of his. No one ever has." His eyes turn back to Michael before hers. "Look. He knows."

Her attention snaps back to the old man in the cafeteria and he is glaring at her. From this angle, she can see the dead eye and the scars around it, just like she read in the file. The look he is giving her is curious and intense and it takes a moment before June comes to her senses and flashes a smile, raising a hand to wave at him. His head cocks to the side slightly before he turns back to his sandwich.

"That's a good sign, Ms. Jones. You haven't sparked his ire yet, at least. Let's test the waters..."

The door doesn't make much noise but as soon as they step in the room, all eyes are on the two of them. All except for Michael, who is suddenly engrossed in the last few bites of sandwich he's holding.

They have to skirt around a few of the guys that are sitting in the aisle but there is barely any movement going on in the room so it was easy enough. The two finally halt just in front of the table Michael is sitting at. Moments pass and he still isn't giving any sign that he even knows they are there. And she knows he does.

There is no change, even as Dr. Sartain begins to address him. "Good morning, Michael. There is someone I would very much like to introduce you to. Do you think perhaps you could take a break to meet her?"

Silence. The scrape of a plastic spork against cheap foam and a bite of apple makes its way to the old man's mouth. Soon it feels a little bit like his chewing is the only sound in the room.

June glances around and catches the guards looking their way. They must be used to this.. The silence swiftly becomes deafening and she feels like she needs to break it.

"My name's Juniper."

The strong jaw that was making easy work of that apple stops in place. She can see the muscles and tendons tense beneath the skin. Even Sartain is watching her now. "I usually go by June, though..."

She throws her foot over the bench and slides into the seat in front of him. There was no going back now. June is a foot away from the deadliest serial killer to ever grace the beautiful state of Illinois and her biggest worry is if he'll like her. Probably another product of employment in the fast food industry.

"I'm your new aide and I would really appreciate if you could maybe write down the things that you do and don't want me to do. I have ADHD and sometimes its really hard for me to remember things if I don't have a list. My uh… my little brother has autism too and sometimes he doesn't like being touched and sometimes he does. So if there is anything like that for you, I want to know. It's really nice to finally meet you, y'know!"

His head doesn't move even a millimeter but slowly his eyes rove over to the girl, although only one of them displayed any awareness. She's having problems deciphering how he feels about her just through his gaze, but June continues to smile at him, awaiting a response. Or anything really.

Eventually it comes. Although it arrives in the form of Michael standing and picking up his trash before turning on his heel and walking to the exit, throwing away the garbage, and leaving without a word.

When he's out the door, every bated breath in the cafeteria releases at once and suddenly it's as if nothing ever happened. She takes a moment to scan the room in awe before turning to face the doctor again. He's looking at her in a similar manner to how she was purveying the room, like something out of the ordinary just happened. June wonders if that was the wrong thing to do and she fucked up her chances at keeping this job but her worries melt away when his visage of confusion shifts to one of approval.

"Very good, Ms. Jones. You know, you may just be the right person for the job. Let's go fetch your clearance card and nametag and then we'll throw you back into the ring after lunch.”

“C-cool!” She knew how unprofessional the word was even as it slipped past her lips and the girl mentally berated herself for it as she unwove her legs from the bench. This wasn’t fast food anymore. This was the big leagues. Like, the “$20,000 more a year” leagues.

Her new employer simply gave a small chuckle, setting her at ease again.

“Yes, Ms. Jones. VERY cool.”

_________________________

June was allowed to watch the hustle and bustle of the residents during the period between breakfast and lunch from the nurse’s station. Nate, when not checking on his assigned residents, sat close to her and made small talk.

They were near the same age and she had remembered seeing him in passing during her junior and senior years. They bonded over making fun of old classmates and teachers. Even as they chatted, her eyes were always on the lookout for HER resident. She hadn’t caught sight of him since their meeting in the cafeteria and she wondered if he was avoiding her on purpose. Nate seemed to pick up on this and their talk shifted.

“He’s always like this at first, so don’t worry too much about it.” It was nice that he was trying to reassure her, at least.

She notices that her fingers are fidgety again and wonders just how long they’d been doing that. It takes a few seconds for her to debate whether she should voice what she’s really thinking.

“Is he really all that bad? I mean… I know about the babysitter murders. Trick-or-treating has been basically illegal in Haddonfield until just a few years ago. We ALL heard the stories about the boogeyman growing up. But since then?”

Another pause while Nate parses out his response. “Well… I haven’t ever seen him like that. But some of his previous aides got really freaked out and quit all of a sudden. And Nettie,” he nods his head towards an older nurse doing paperwork in the small office across the hall, “she’s told us all some pretty crazy stories from back in the day. Said he used to be really dangerous. But I’ve never even seen a resident give him a mean look. They simply don’t mess with him. It’s kind of crazy, really…”

June isn’t sure how to respond. Dr. Sartain had assured her that Michael hadn’t hurt anyone in “quite a while”. He said they had even brought in cats to spend the night with him a few times and every single kitty came out of the room in the morning just as it had been the evening before. Before she musters up another query, Nate stands up from his chair and scoots it back under the desk.

“Hey, I gotta go real quick. It’s lunchtime and they’ll get rowdy if we don’t start rounding em up.” He turns to another employee that had been reading on the other side of the station. “Cass. Hey Cass. It’s time for lunch.”

The other girl, Cass, rolls her eyes as she slides her bookmark back into the tacky romance novel she was halfway through. She grumbles an audible, “this’ll be fun,” before picking up a clipboard and pen and pushing past June on her way out of the nurse’s station. Nate shoots her an apologetic look before grabbing his clipboard and leaving her there alone.

She can hear them shouting “LUNCHTIME” down the halls and all of a sudden, doors are slammed open and then the passageways are stampeded with the footfalls of eager, hungry men. Many of them take the time to ogle the new blood a bit on their way but it’s obvious that most of them are more focused on their bellies because none of them bother for too long.

June herself is pulling out the package of tuna and crackers she had brought for her own lunch as the last stragglers file through. Her thumb gets caught on the lip of the plastic as she tries to open it and the ensuing cut is little, but a drop of blood begins to form from the slit. Out of instinct, she mumbles “shit” and brings it to her mouth. Her tongue is putting pressure on the little wound and the sharp pain is starting to fade when something tall looms just in her peripheral.

Her eyes jolt upwards to see him standing still as death in the hallway, still facing towards the route to the dining hall. His head is ever so slightly tilted in her direction, his good eye flickering between her own eyes and the finger still suckled in her mouth.

Within a millisecond June’s thumb is retracted and she gives Michael a smile and a nervous wave with her other hand.

“H-hey! I hope you have a good lunch!” She begins to explain herself, “I just, uh… I cut my finger on accident and I…”

He doesn’t let the girl finish her rambling, turning his head back and continuing on his trek towards his lunch like she wasn’t talking at all.

He gets to the end of the hall and turns the corner before her mind finds itself again. “Uh, okay… rude…” Maybe he just needed time to warm up to her, just like Nate said.

June’s eye catches the offending tuna package once more and then her attention is turned back to how hungry she is. And Lord knows with her new “friend”, she may need the strength in the coming hours.

_________________________

After lunch, Dr. Sartain fetches her again, to ferry her to Michael for the last time. After this, she would be on her own. June doesn’t bring up what happened at the nurse’s station.

She waits just beside the doctor as they walk up to him in the common room. He’s standing and looking out one of the many large windows that line one wall of the decently large room.

“Michael, June is here to see you again. She’ll be with you the rest of the afternoon, so you must be on your best behavior so you don’t scare her off.” The old man continues to stare out the window and gives no indication that he’s even heard the doctor speak. Sartain turns to her and whispers “good luck” before making his exit.

It takes a couple of minutes for June to make her way up to the window, near Michael, but far enough away as to not make him uncomfortable. She sneaks a few glances at the tall man and also tries to pinpoint just what it is he’s watching. They are on the third floor and the view spans a pretty wide area, even overlooking the parking lot. A few people are coming and going, mostly what looks like employees and the others most likely visitors. His eye follows one and then moves on to the next person. And then the next. ‘Ah. So he’s peoplewatching,’ June thinks to herself.

A few minutes of watching with him and she notices just how quiet the man is. Barely exuding a sound besides the rhythmic breaths that accompanies most humans. He really is a mystery.

Not really knowing what to say, she lets almost half an hour pass in silence before her legs begin to ache from standing still for so long. June moves to sit in the chair just on the other side of Michael and she grabs a magazine from a nearby side table to flip through. She doesn’t want to push Michael too much and is sure just letting him get used to her presence is the correct way to go about it, at least for the first day or so. Some of the other men in the room begin to whisper to each other. After awhile, she peeks over the top of the Good Housekeeping in her hands to see a few younger looking guys watching her and talking amongst themselves. Within ten minutes, they are standing close enough to speak to her but still not incredibly close. She sees them nervously eyeing Michael, who hasn’t moved a centimeter.

Maybe she should say hi? That’s polite, right?

“Hey, what’s up? You guys need something? I can go get a CNA...”

One of the boys, the one that seems to be the leader, steps just a tiny bit closer, eyes moving from her to Michael. Then from Michael to her.

“Nah, we’re good, miss. We just wanted to meet you. My name’s Russ. We just don’t get many new people around h-here.”

One of the other two men, who looks to be a bit older, is flashing her a weird smile. He nudges his way up so he’s standing beside Russ instead of behind. “We definitely don’t get many pretty girls like you.”

Russ jabs his elbow into the other man’s side and June isn’t really sure how to respond. “Oh, um… Thank you?”

Russ opens his mouth to say something else but the younger guy cowering behind him gets his attention and points behind her. June turns to look as well and it seems Michael has turned his head in their direction and is glaring at the boys. The flirty guy curses under his breath and Russ, who looks absolutely terrified, starts backing up. “S-sorry for bothering you… sorry…”

They abscond without another word and huddle around a small table in the opposite corner of the room, looking back at her direction every now and then. She moves to glance back at her charge and their eyes meet.

Silence. Then he’s looking out the window again, ignoring that she’s even there.

So she goes back to reading the interview with Jaime Lee Curtis she was engrossed in when they were approached. She couldn’t help but to sing that digestive yogurt jingle in her head.

A couple of hours pass by uneventfully and by 3 o’clock she’s read every article in every magazine in a five foot radius. June’s eyes are a little sore from the reading and she wonders just how Michael can stand in the same spot like that for that long. When she stands, one of her hands moves to settle against his shoulder. Just a small gesture to get his attention. The muscles beneath her hand tense just slightly at the touch.

“The doc told me to leave at 3 today, so I guess I’ll be on my way. It was nice meeting you though. I hope I didn’t annoy you too much...” Her hand falls back to her side. “Have a good rest of your day, okay?” She waits for a response but it never comes, so June makes her way back to the nurse’s station to gather her things, yawning along the way. Sitting around doing nothing had really taken a toll on her today.

Nate is packing up when she gets there so they head out together, chatting about what they are going to eat for supper that night all the way up until they have to split up to get to their cars.

June opens the driver side door but gets a shiver down her spine before she can climb in. Realization dawns and then her eyes are looking back up at the massive, decrepit building, searching the windows. It doesn’t take long to find him and when she does, he’s looking back at her. It’s the same spot he was in when she left him but this time his gaze stays on her, instead of flickering to and fro. There are more than a few people leaving right now but he’s just watching her.

‘Maybe that’s a good sign…’

She waves once more but as she suspected, he doesn’t return it. The wind is chilly though, and she doesn’t wait for long.

‘It wasn’t a BAD day,’ June reminds herself on the drive home.

“Beats McDonald’s ANY day…”

[elevatedarchive-blog]

“Thank you, Obama.”

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President Barack Obama delivered his farewell speech to the nation on Tuesday from his familiar stomping grounds of Chicago. The packed crowd eagerly held on to the President’s words, wondering if he would directly mention the current conflicts and controversies that have followed his successor, Donald Trump. While President Obama didn’t directly call out Trump, he did deliver a passionate call to arms directed at young people, advising them to get involved in their communities and continue working towards justice and equality. At the end of his farewell address, he made sure to reiterate his campaign slogan of, “Yes we can!” The speech was certainly a bittersweet moment, further emphasizing the tremendous impact of President Obama’s leadership, grace, and intelligence that were often tested but never broken during his two terms. This all in mind, our friends over at Fresh U took the liberty of gathering responses from young black girls and women from colleges across the country and asked them them to reflect on Barack Obama’s presidency and what it means to them. Check out their powerful thoughts below.

Kiara Nelson, Freshman Howard University

I’d never really understood how much I’d taken advantage of having a black president in office, until his Farewell Address. There was so much sorrow in my dorm, nobody wanted to watch Obama leave.

Growing up with a black President in office was something so incredible for little black boys and girls everywhere. For me, it helped me be proud of who I was, no matter what anybody had to say about my skin color. Because my President was black, I could do anything possible. I could be the top student in my graduating class. I could go to college and show the world my abilities. I could be successful. Now, I could do that prior to Obama being in office, but because he was, there was stronger sense of confirmation and confidence in my mind. I would never doubt myself—all because my President was black.

Watching Obama tell the nation goodbye was saddening and inspirational at the same time. I felt like an uncle I’d grown up with was leaving me forever, yet he gave me hope. By telling us that there are more to solving problems that tweeting about them and reassuring us that there is still hope for our country, I can still live day-to-day with a positive mindset. The man with so much swag, so much professionalism, and so much grace in his words and actions….he just can’t be replaced.

Natalie Evans, Freshman, Hofstra University

In a word, President Barack Obama’s farewell address was emotional. When he was elected I was only about 10 years old, in the 5th grade, and impressionable. Now, I am 19 years old, a college Freshman, and what an impression he has made. As an African-American and a woman, I am one of the most disrespected, left out, and oppressed peoples in society. It is why I am not a fan of history, because it seems like in any instance women like me were at a disadvantage. At any given period in American history, I am last in line, patiently waiting for my turn.

Even growing up, the way black women we’re depicted in society was you were either a ghetto girl, not intelligent, or someone’s “baby mama”, and myself being from a small town thought that that was it for me. Nobody thought I would be more than a CNA (Certified Nurses Assistant), and neither did I until Obama was elected. He spoke about change, ability, perseverance, and the black community raising themselves up to a higher standard. And we did, because he told us that we can. People in my community went back to college to get degrees, our community pulled together, and there was a sense of renewed unity. When he quoted the constitution last night it did not sound impossible, or ironic like when I usually here it from the back of the line, peeking over shoulders, wondering if it even applied to me.

This time, I knew it did apply to me. When Obama spoke those words I felt a sort of passion ignite in me, a passion that over the past few months had come from a place of anger, sadness, and outrage, but that now comes from a place of hope and purpose. Last night I felt like I was 10 years old again, watching him speak for the first time. Proud, inspired, and content. President Obama inspired and helped this country to the best of his ability. But for me, he has instilled in me the courage to exceed expectation and has made me less negative and cynical about our future.

“It’s not that our nation has been flawless from the start, but we have shown the capacity to change.” I believe that, and I will work for that change because of Barack Obama’s example.

Manna Zelealem, Freshman, Loyola Marymount University

I watched President Obama’s farewell address on the floor of my dorm room, in the middle of unpacking my suitcase from winter break. Tears welled in my eyes and the moment was reminiscent of January 20, 2009 when I watched President Obama’s first inauguration in my fifth grade math class. In 2009, tears came to my eyes when I saw the soon-to-be President and First Lady step out of their limo and wave to the cheering crowds. I knew how monumental it would be to finally have a black president… to have someone in office who looked like me.

When I watched the farewell address, I had the finalized version of that same feeling. It was no longer a matter of wondering how life-changing it would be to have President Obama in office, rather it was a reflection of how significant his presidency was and the legacy he is leaving behind.

Words cannot describe how grateful I am to have grown up during this presidency. The Obama’s legacy will continue to inspire me for the rest of my life. President Obama’s farewell address reminded me of how far we have come as a country- and how far we have yet to go. He and First Lady Michelle Obama have inspired a generation of young black men and women to do better and be better… to surpass the expectations set by society, to dismantle the stereotypes that have been placed upon us, and to put forth the effort to excel in everything we do.

Jasmine Naomi Jones, Freshman, Xavier University of Louisiana

I was feeling so many emotions as I watched President Obama give his final speech. I’m struggling to find the words to describe my admiration and respect for President Obama. I can’t believe these eight years have flown by so quickly! I remember watching the inauguration in class when I was in the fifth grade and now I’m a college freshman. As I look back, President Obama made a huge impact.

Time and time again, he’s reminded the American people of what he was able to accomplish. He saved our economy, brought back the auto industry, and eliminated the threat of bin Laden. Not to mention, he brought black culture to the White House. We’ll probably never see swag surfing in the White House ever again. I felt a sense of nostalgia as I watched his speech. He cared about all Americans, no matter the party affiliation, race, or gender. What Obama was able to accomplish in office inspired tons of young Americans, including myself. Needless to say that representation matters. No matter how you felt about his policies, just having a black family in the White House was awesome. As African Americans, we’ve come a long way and we’ve got so much farther to go. We came from the fields to the White House. Growing up with Obama as president has inspired me to do great things and I know that only great things are to come! So I’ll end with this: Thank you, Obama.

Re’Nyqua Farrington, Freshman, Nova Southeastern University

“This is the most hopeful, political message I’ve heard since 2017 started,” I tweeted that amidst Obama’s Farewell and that’s the best way I can sum up his speech. After the political partisanship and negative media floating through the news, it was great to hear a leader speak of an improved America. He did not shy away from controversial topics like marriage equality and race relations and spoke to the social evolution that has taken place since he has assumed office. The same Obama inaugurated in 2009 who thought that marriage should be between a man and woman is the same man celebrating marriage equality as he gives his farewell in 2017. His willingness to make social progress during his presidency is truly commendable and makes me proud to experience an Obama presidency throughout my childhood and adolescence. Even more inspiring was Obama’s ability to shut down claims of a “post-racial America” and recognize that society has room for improvement. He really emphasized the we from his campaign slogan, “Yes We Can” and called on Americans to enact social change. However, Obama’s speech was much more than a call for social justice and he spoke on the economic improvements that have occurred since the Great Recession like job creation and rising incomes. Still, the true spotlight of Obama’s Farewell Address was the beautiful tribute (Michelle LaVaughn Robinson from the Southside, cue the relationship goals hashtag) to his wife and daughters.

Ivannia A. Morton, Freshman, Marymount Manhattan College

The day after Donald Trump was elected, I woke up to students and teachers marching across 3rd avenue with tambourines and neon posters. Upon going outside, I noticed there was a look of emptiness on the faces of many. I received a text from my mother begging me to not go near Trump Towers in fear of me being harmed because of my skin color and my gender. Turning back the clock to 4 years ago when Obama was re-elected, most people were ecstatic. There was an affirmation of peace and a feeling of safety knowing that Obama was back in the house, and the change he would ensue.  As I listened to his farewell speech he mentioned something that struck a chord with me: “For every two steps forward, it often feels like we take one step back.” This is exactly how I felt when Trump was elected. It seemed as if our progress hit rewind. Then he said this: “Democracy can buckle when we give in to fear.” Giving into fear of what Trump can do is only going to strengthen his power. It is important for minorities to stand up and speak up for our beliefs, and most importantly, vote. Like a sling shot, we need to be pulled back in order to shoot further.  Obama has passed the baton of change onto us, it is now our turn to run with it.

Shaun Borne, Freshman, Xavier University of Louisiana

Originally, I didn’t want to watch President Obama’s Farewell Address because I knew that I would be watching a piece of my childhood leave, but I knew that I had to watch him speak eloquently and passionately one last time.  His speech was incredible because he held nothing back; he truly spoke about the issues that are still plaguing America. As I was trying to keep my eyes dry, he spoke about the supposed way that race relations changed after he was elected, but he knew that there is so much more work to be done. President Obama has given the Black community an even stronger desire to seek equality in all aspects of our lives, and his work will forever be imbedded in my life. I thought that, his daughter, Malia’s tears were from a child whose father has had the hardest job, but she saw his resiliency and strength and it was inspiring. I literally felt the love that President Obama and Mrs. Michelle have towards each other through the TV, and I realized that President Obama is more than a politician; he is a husband, a father, and a cultural icon.  Even though his presidency is ending, his legacy has left an imprint of hope on the hearts of people around the world. I was that fifth grader that watched him be elected the first time in 2008, and now I am the college freshman that wishes he could stay a little longer.

Mia-Simone Green, Freshman, University of South Carolina

For the entirety of my teenage years, Barack Obama’s presidency has played in the background. My family sat me down to watch his inauguration while I was in fifth grade. His re-election was my freshman year of high school. As his daughters grew up, I grew up with them. Watching his Farewell Address gave me exactly two feelings: pride and fear. Pride because, well, he did it. I had watched the parents of my white classmates and eventually my classmates themselves tear this man down because of his blackness. They did not objectively and fairly critique his actions and policies but attacked the most obvious thing to target: his race. Despite this unfairness, he still triumphed and championed not one, but two terms as president. I am proud of him, because he did what they did not want him to do, and that is to run a country being the first black person to do so. I felt fear, because in my gut, I knew this articulation and class would not be found again in a president for a while. No matter what I disagreed on within his presidency, he did his job incredibly professionally. He is arguably one of the best orators this generation has ever seen and ever will see. I felt fear because I am wary of the next 4 years without him. Through his powerful words, his beautiful family, and his actions holding the highest office in the United State of America, I have learned one thing that will allow us to persevere no matter what: Yes We Can.

Niye Asemota, Freshman, Alabama A&M University

Watching Obama’s farewell speech and the tears stream down him newly wrinkled, cocoa colored cheeks, a mustard seed of faith jumped out at me, that maybe, just maybe, we would be okay. Or that I would open my eyes and wake up from this horrid nightmare, and that with the snap of a finger America would be “great” again. Black women are at our breaking points in America, and President Obama leaving office has pushed us to the edge. At this point we’re flailing our arms and praying that God holds the wind so we don’t fall figurative deaths.

As his speech was ending, I realized that I have learned so much from this man and his family. I am a strong independent black woman, who can do ALL things God has designed for me. Black woman are capable of so much and we deserve the world; the way President Obama speaks about the First Lady solidifies this fact. He’s taught me to be proud of where I come from, and that the only person who can stop you, is you. As a Nigerian woman born and raised in America, I AM TERRIFIED, but with the hope I have in my heart stemming from a great man who cared so much for his people, I think we might be okay. President Obama leaving gives us a chance to put every lesson he has taught us into action, and make him proud.

Daja Henry, Junior, Howard University

Anticipating President Obama’s farewell address, there was a mixture of feelings in my stomach—nostalgia, grief, pride. To 11-year-old me, President Obama represented hope. I didn’t fully understand, but I knew the excitement of watching history in the making. If you ask me, he is the greatest US president. In his address, he had the receipts to prove it: “…reverse a great recession, reboot our auto industry, and unleash the longest stretch of job creation in our history…,” and the list went on. A sense of pride filled me. As always, he managed to check the non-believers in the most gracious way possible.

The pride manifested into straight up tears the moment he said, “Michelle LaVaughn Robinson, girl of the South Side.” All the sappiness I’ve suppressed (because as a Black woman, I’m taught that I do not have time for being sad and must always be superhumanly strong) pushed its way to the surface. The Obamas are a prime representation of Black love on display for the whole world to see. If President Obama did nothing else, his family served to show African-American boys and girls that yes, we can and yes, we matter. I know he isn’t perfect, nor could he fix the problems created by over 400 years of oppression. He cannot remedy the systems of overt racism set in place long before he took office and kept by 400 plus years of red tape, outdated documents and hatred. But he will forever be my President.

Related: A Tearful President Obama Thanked Michelle in His Farewell Address and We’re All Losing It

  #News – 10 Black College Women Respond to Obama’s Farewell Address “Thank you, Obama.” President Barack Obama delivered his farewell speech to the nation on Tuesday from his familiar stomping grounds of Chicago.