#i genuinely cannot tell if im considered low support needs or not and I'm at the point where I wish somebody else could know for me

[chronicallyill-butterfly]

I hate being autistic and receiving no support. I have no idea what my support level/needs are because I have never received real support. I look “high functioning” but so much falls through the cracks 

I go to college and live in a single dorm because of my medical equipment. And it is so hard

I lose speech so frequently that 70%% of the time now, im unable to speak. when I can speak, it’s awkward and I can tell it isn’t ‘correct’ but I don’t know how to fix it. when I can’t speech, I also lose the ability to text/email/type. All communication gets lost.

I can’t do my dishes- it’s been four weeks at school and I’ve resorted to paper plates/plastic utensils for when I do eat. I am mostly tube fed and I struggle to set up my feeds daily. Im supposed to do it 3 times a day and on a good day, I’ll manage to do it twice. Half the time, I can’t remember to take my meds, and when I do, the task is sometimes so overwhelming I cant do it until night time instead of when I wake up, like I’m supposed to. 

I can’t do my laundry or take out the trash- my parents have to do it for me when they see me on the weekends. I can’t handle going to doctors appointments on my own or places that aren’t within a few blocks of my dorm. And even then, if it’s something that isn’t one of the three places im used to I Just Cant. So I don’t go anywhere except those places. 

I shut down so often and have had to leave class to try and prevent meltdowns. Any change in plans/routines just sends me over the edge. 

And there’s more- there’s so much more. Sensory issues and stupid routines/rituals I *have* to follow that don’t make sense to anyone else. 

I keep seeing people say if you live alone you’re automatically low support needs. But it doesn’t feel right. Idk what I am but I don’t relate to the low support needs experiences my friends have or people online talk about. I just didn’t have a choice in living alone. 

Everything is falling through the cracks because of my autism- my hygiene, my self care, my general ability to function. But I show up for class most days so I’m “fine”