#i genuinely hope so because twt is freaking out LOL

[quackle]

*stares at this with an intensity like no other*

[mickmundy]

hiii (again lol) just wanted to elaborate a little, but there is so much in the way you write particularly Sniper and his struggles with shame, loneliness, that hunger (in all its forms) and complex parental relationships that just resonates so deeply. Reading (and rereading) through the series and the evocative way you describe everything and break down/talk through it within and in bonus posts has really helped me put words to some of own feelings and motivated me to work towards improvement!

(i hope its okay that i combined both of your asks, i didn’t want to risk mixing up my thoughts or leaving anything about either one unanswered! ;-; <3) FIRST OF ALL…… i’m ltierally so speechless ;;; thank you SO much for sending me this, it really means the entire universe to me… like i genuinely adore that something that i wrote from such a personal part of me is emotionally impacting people who read it… like it fills me with so much love knowing that there are people out there who can relate to….. sniper’s…….. yes… of course…. sniper’s……… journey with falling in love, internalized homophobia, sexual repression, rental trauma etc… sometimes being a human feels So Much and i really don’t know how else to describe it LOL but it’s… A Lot. in good and bad ways. and sometimes i’m just overwhelmed with emotion and i don’t know how to feel or what to feel or what i’m even feeling, i just know i’m feeling a LOT! and i’ve always felt like a total freak for how i process emotions and how i see love and so it just brings me so much comfort and joy to know that not only do people understand and appreciate sniper’s journey, but they also relate to it too ;;; i am holding all of our delicate hearts so close to my chest!! ;u; <3333

and YESSS ;;;; i love both of these things too, they were Big Deals to me to write. i cried when i wrote the first two chapters of fever over a year ago and back then i didn’t have anywhere near the amount of engagement (on here, twt, ao3, anywhere really) and so i was so scared that when i Would post this fic, i’d get laughed at or misunderstood (couldn’t decide which was worse lol) and so it’s really… like.. idk how to describe it… but it feels like a heavy hand on my shoulder in a really good way.. like the reception it’s gotten, i’m genuinely blown away… ;___; and i really appreciate people being comfortable enough to be Vulnerable with me like i feel like i’m being Vulnerable with you by posting my fics.., ;; i’ve cried a lot of tears as i’ve been writing these fics and they really are a massive part of Me (and my gf + our relationship heh) and i’m just so happy that people enjoy them…

the tenderness hurting more than pain..,., like idk how else to describe it lsdkfjsdjf. being told your whole life that you can’t let your emotions dominate you, you can’t let your feelings get in the way of What Really Matters (which as it turns out.. is… nothing really at all lol. or nothing that can’t be Enhanced With Feelings…!) and realizing later in life like oh my god. i’ve wasted so much time being This Person and now it’s not working anymore… and you cling to That Person because they’re all you’ve known how to be… and the idea of putting yourself out there as Who You Are and not Who You Were Told To Be… god it’s horrific. and so scary. and it sucks. but for the sake of love… you want to try… but how do you even try… well… with a lot of attempts! and after a while it starts to get a little more natural.. and a little more natural…. <3 hehe.. and the feeling of rejection from your parents (who you are desperate to please) for things that you can’t help or don’t even understand yourself… it feels really bleak. and sniper’s only been taught to just “power through it” but it’s like… that can’t work forever.. sometimes you need to turn around and Face what you feel… and shoving through it only works for so long…!

i’m so happy to hear that you’ve been inspired to improve yourself too, i’m right there with you!! being in a place emotionally where you find the ability to like. Look Within Yourself and at least Try to improve,, it’s really hard!! and sniper and medic doing it in their own unique ways (and the slow crawl that they do it at!) and seeing them be… not so great at it but they’re getting better! i think that’s a really human trait… like it’s okay that things don’t magically fall into place all at once Conveniently, you know what i mean? and i think with tf2 characters especially it’s like… they’re all immature, they’re far from perfect, but they’re also so capable of love… in their own ways hehe!! but i think that’s fun. i like that we can all have a little emotional vulnerability… together! :’)

thank you SO much again for this wonderful message, i sincerely adore talking with you about my writing and i am always so glad to hear that you enjoy it!! ;_; <333 ILYYYYYY MY DEAR FRIEND ;_____; <3333333

[soupofmd]

ofmd friends appreciation time!!

i thrive in long form media bc i like to ramble so im doing this here rather than on twt

ive met some of the nicest people ive ever come across since being in the ofmd fandom and they regularly make a point to tell me im great (silly gay people) so here is that for them all:

- eli: WELL where to begin, you are basically just the most iconic person ive ever met, youre so easy to talk to, youre always there to chat or for emotional support, feels like ive known you forever. You are so caring and attentative to everyone you interact with and im honoured to be in your inner circle so i get to speak to you everyday :)

- fia + av: i gotta group you two because i realised i have the same things to say to you both lol. i dont speak to you guys as much (i appreciate having a life outside the internet that is very good for u guys lmao) but i hear the best things about you both, and every interaction ive had with either of you is always easy, friendly and funny. i hope you both know that even if you dont hang around online as much, that we all love you just as much and appreciate hearing from you :)

- idunn: the loml, my silly little norwegian, (my scrumptious starfish) you have the best sleep schedule ive ever seen (which is bad for me bc u always go to sleep when i come online to speak to u hehe). im so glad we met, im so glad we get each other, and i hope you never stop being a goofy flirt, også, du er veldig pen og jeg liker deg hehehehehehe :))

- des: destynee, desody, desus, you liked me enough to invite me into the group and im so glad you did bc now i get to speak to all my fav people everyday so firstly thank you for that. secondly, YOU are so funny, youre so insane, it makes me so happy every time you bully me bc i can feel the affection through the screen and i hope i send that same vibe back to you because you really do bring everyone together and we all love you so much for it! you’re hilarious, and me stealing your memes is genuinely bc i adore you and want to entertain you like you do for me :)

- moony: honestly idek, everytime we speak i wonder if it was even real or some sort of weird hallucination. im so happy i know you because you will happily entertain anyones silly discourse and make every conversation so much funnier just by being there. i will be coming to visit you in spain so we can kiss x :)

- ella: my fellow brit! (it freaks me out everytime i remember how close we live i wont lie). when idunn asked if you could join the chaos and gave you a sparkling recommendation it was very accurate bc you are so nice and easy going and fit in effortlessly. its so easy to talk to you and im glad we can talk about british things without me doing it alone and getting ridiculed lmao. one day i will convince you to meet me irl so we can make one of the weird norwegian foods idunn has mentioned :)

- may: you make me laugh so much because you are so kind and easy to talk to and then you have the evil mayo side of you that is so insane and scares me a little (jokes please never retire evil mayo). never stop being you please provide me with interesting bird content forever and ever :)

- ratte: you are so entertaining, you always manage to make us all laugh, when youre online ik its going to be a good time, and youre so interesting when you talk about your interests in discord (ik i said interest twice lol) :)

- yuriy: you are one of the coolest people ive ever spoken to, you seem so laid back, youre hilarious, you motivate me to get stuff done in focus vcs lol and i love seeing you around :)

-mel: menace mel, you are so crazy and entertaining, you never cease to make me and everyone else giggle. im glad you are a part of the group and i hope to have you around in my life for a long time :)

i could go on forever about these specific goons i adore them all so much i am forever amazed at their kindness, how easy to get along with everyone is, how we can all joke without anyone ever going too far, its such a safe happy place, we all support each other so much and im so so happy it was such an inclusive progressive sexy show that bought us all together

(and everyone else im mutuals with or speak with idc if weve spoken one time i love you and smile when i see you all on my tl and being giddy in gcs, i hope i can put out the vibes that u guys provide me with bc you all deserve it)

no more sappy soup i will now return to being mysterious and cool (/lie)