#i genuinely think if i get institutionalised over the summer no one would notice until september
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#i genuinely think if i get institutionalised over the summer no one would notice until september#and even then im moving to a new school so they might not notice#no one talks to me outside of when they see me in person#its like i dont exist#and i know they care about me but sometimes it really feels like im a second thought#im no ones best friend. im no ones top priority#and that sounds so selfish so i cant say it to them#it would be cruel to put that on someone#but i cant stop thinking that if i died or disappeared everyone would be upset for a few weeks at most and then forget#and so i cant talk to my friends about it#and i cant talk to my parents about it because theyre. my parents. as far as they know the worst my mental health has ever been#was when i was stressed about my exams#and i dont even have a therapist any more! and when i did i didnt bring any of this up!!!#at this point it literally feels like the only way anyone would take this seriously is if i try to kill myself#its just the fucking worst. christ
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