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thesirenserenity · 7 years

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Miraculous Medley Chapter Six: Something Just Like This

Marinette, a Vocal Performance and Composition Music Major at a local community college, is secretly Ladybug, the lead singer and songwriter for Paris’ most famous band, The AKs. Adrien, a Cello Performance Major at the most elite Music Conservatory, joins them under the guise of Chat Noir to play Bass. Adrien grew up believing that music was all about following exactly what the composer wanted, but Marinette teaches him that there is so much that can be communicated through music - everyone has someting to say through this universal language. Marinette is closed off to the world after being burned from a recent breakup, and Adrien helps her break down the walls she built up arround her. Based off of gittana’s Musicans AU

Rating: T - swearing and some adult content

Also on: AO3 | Fanfiction

Thank you guys for your patience. I just finished my senior recital and can now graduate college in a month :D

Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!!

But she said, where d'you wanna go? How much you wanna risk?

I'm not looking for somebody, with some superhuman gifts

Some superhero; Some fairytale bliss

Just something I can turn to, somebody I can kiss

I want something just like this

-Something Just like This - Chainsmokers, ft. Coldplay

His hair was sticking up on one side under his hood.

Marinette glared across the room at the offending hairstyle, semi-hidden under his black hood. With any other of the guys, she would not hesitate to cross the room in a couple steps and fix their hair. But she had only known Adrien for a little over a month, and she wasn’t sure if they were close enough, nor had she run her hand through his hair before.

Though, she meditated, he had all but cuddled up to her leg this afternoon while she was writing, because he had been seeking the patch of sunlight to nap in. All under the pretense of helping her write music, of course. The messed up hair was probably because of his nap.

Silly kitty.

He really did seem to act like a cat. Marinette chuckled to herself, because Alya always bragged about designing characters that were spot on.

Adrien had wiggled his way into her life. He had become her partner in crime for so many things: writing music (the boy had such good taste and his basslines were epic), teasing Alya and Nino, long chats about music history or theory, and the like. One time, they got in a debate on the chord progression of a movie that they were watching with Nino and Alya, who were slightly annoyed at the interruption.

Marinette rolled her eyes and crossed the room. “Chat,” she called, adhering to Alya’s rule of using their pseudo while being fully in costume. This gave her full right to record videos, take pictures, and whatever else she needed to do for advertising purposes. When he didn’t respond, she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Kitty, your hair is a mess,” she said, lifting his hood and running her hands through his hair to fix it properly.

His bright green eyes, accented by the black make-up mask painted on his face, turned to her in surprise. He smiled down at her, allowing her to spike up his hair properly. “Hi, my Lady. You can fix my hair anytime,” he winked.

Marinette propped his hood back up on top of his head, noting the glistening silver that sparkled from his left ear. “How are the piercings feeling? It’s been a couple days since Juleka did them, yes?”

Adrien winced a little. “They still are very sore, but it’s not bad. Juleka did an awesome job.”

Marinette peeked inside the side of his hood. He had one piercing on each ear, and then a cartilage piercing on his left side.

“What did your friends think?” Marinette asked. He had come in after his rehearsal and promptly fallen asleep. Then, there had been the normal flurry of getting ready for a concert. She hadn’t really talked to him in a couple days and found that she had missed the dorky guy.

Adrien chuckled, “The people in my ensemble didn’t say much. One of my friends was a little more opinionated, but she didn’t seem to hate it. My dad was a little more upset, but I’m an adult and it doesn’t affect my performances.” He leaned in a little to her, lifting his hand to block his mouth from others, confiding. “Between you and me, bugaboo, I have been ordered around all my life, so it’s nice to make decisions of my own now.” He pulled back and winked at her.

Marinette giggled in response, but filed away the information. They had been slowly learning more about each other as they worked together as band-mates and writing buddies. He treated her like a close friend, but she could tell that he hid away a lot of his life from everyone.

“Your secret is safe with me!”

He grinned, “Are you ready for the concert tonight? We have been pumping out music pretty fast.”

“That’s usually what happens when it is summer. I have more time to write, and everyone has more time to learn the songs! I’m ready, it’s just going to take a lot of energy for these songs.”

Adrien avoided Rose, who jostled behind him through the kitchen. “You always are able to perform with an abundance of energy, so I don’t think you will have any issues! I’m excited to see you and Alya do the opener.”

Marinette grinned and looked across the room at her best friend, who was taking pictures with one hand and gesturing at Max, who was messing with their video camera. “She always brings out the best in me for these types of songs! The lyrics are a play off of a conversation we had a year ago.”

Adrien paused for a moment, reflecting on the lyrics he remembered. “That makes a lot of sense, now that you say that!”

“Okay kids!” Alya shouted through the group, “It’s showtime!”

Xxxxxx

Marinette took a deep breath as the upbeat intro played. She looked across the stage, that was set up in a park for them, to Alya, who gave her a quick wink.

They both nodded to each other and pranced onto the stage, in front of the band as Marinette began to sing.

Rule number one, is that you gotta have fun

But baby when you're done, you gotta be the first to run.

She and Alya circled around each other as Alya began to sing.

Rule number two, just don't get attached to

Somebody you could lose, so le-let me tell you

The girls high-fived as the chorus started, launching into a simple hip-hop style dance with Rose and Mylene framing them. Marinette belted out the lyrics, and Alya sang a harmony over her.

This is how to be a heartbreaker, boys they like a little danger

We'll get him falling for a stranger, a player, singing I lo-lo-love you

How to be a heartbreaker, boys they like the look of danger

We'll get him falling for a stranger, a player, singing I lo-lo-love you

At least I think I do

The girls finished with a spin and then pranced around the stage as they vocalized. Marinette stopped to dance back-to-back with Lila and Alya went to hip bump Nino at his keyboard.

'Cause I lo-lo-lo-love you

Both of them sang together and then circled back to center stage. Marinette took the lead, and Alya sang the upper harmony over her.

Rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek

But never on your sleeve, unless you wanna taste defeat

Marinette tapped her cheek and then waggled her finger at the audience, a grin etched on her face. Singing with Alya always gave her tons of energy. Again, the girls switched and Alya sang the melody as Marinette sang the upper harmony.

Rule number four, gotta be looking pure

Kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wanting more, more

Alya pantomimed a kiss at the front of the stage, and then joined the rest of the girls toward the center to dance again. They launched into the same dance sequence, popping together and spinning.

This is how to be a heartbreaker, boys they like a little danger

We'll get him falling for a stranger, a player, singing lo-lo-love you

Marinette was in a full grin. This was one of her new favorite songs; it was so catchy, thanks to Adrien’s amazing chord progression and bassline, and she loved the lyrics. It was amazing how much Adrien had helped her with music for this concert, and she was so happy he had given her the assistance.

How to be a heartbreaker, boys they like the look of danger

We'll get him falling for a stranger, a player, singing lo-lo-love you

At least I think I do

The song abruptly cut off at the end of the lyric, Max throwing the stage into a full black out. Through the silence, Marinette heard Nino start the beginning melody for the next song, his synth ringing out. She could hear the rest of the crew shuffling to their next positions as she planted center-stage, waiting for her cue.

She heard the phrase starting again, and jumped in, still shrouded in dark.

Tonight feels like we can do anything we like, oh

Tonight feels like the best night of my life

Bright lights started to strobe around her, and she heard Nino begin to rap over her singing, alternating with her as the beat rose.

I'm goin' in, (put your - put your hands up), I'm goin' in, (put your - put your hands up), I'm goin' in (put your - put your hands up), I'm goin' in, (put your - put your hands up)

The music built up around her, and she took a couple steps back, trusting the Alix and Kim wouldn’t run into her in the dark. Nino had recorded her voice and looped it with his own, editing it into the build up.

I'm goin' in, in in in in

On the drop, chaos ensued. There were a blow of small, sparkler-like fireworks across the stage, and the lights snapped on, colors roaming everywhere. Marinette watched as Alix and Kim flipped around the stage. Alya had traded her microphone for her phone, doing a ‘stage cam’ for the fans and running through the chaos.

Marinette pranced to the front of the stage and began to sing.

It's 'go' time, press my button yeah blow the stage, grenade

Oh my, tonight we gon' ring the tank, bananas

The music dropped slightly, allowing her to sing more lyrically.

No hold, there ain't no stopping us tonight

I'm on my crazy, she on a crazy, we on this crazy

We are amazing

She could feel the subtle build again, as Nino looped her voice for the chorus. Marinette was always amazed by Nino’s skill, as he preferred to do the majority of his mixes on the fly, rather than prepare them before, like most DJs. Like any of the other band members on stage, he responds to real time and performs just like them.

Tonight feels like we can do anything we like, oh

Tonight feels like the best night of my life

I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, in in in in

Marinette jumped into the complicated dance sequence with Rose and Mylene framing her. They had been pushing her to do harder choreography, and she could tell that her hard work had been paying off. She popped to the music, putting as much effort into the short sequence as she did her singing. Alix and Kim were pumping up the crowd with their fancy tricks and flips.

Take it to the head, take it off the edge

Nothing but the best

Feeling like a million, million people everywhere

Put it in the air

We don't give a damn, feeling like a billion, billion

Alya came up next to Marinette, her phone still filming in her hand. Marinette sang into the camera, punctuating the section with a wink to the fans. She knew that they loved the view from the stage, watching the performance from their point of view.

No hold, there ain't no stopping us tonight

I'm on my crazy, she on a crazy, we on this crazy

We are amazing

Marinette backed into the left corner where Adrien was rocking out on the bass. She bumped her hip against his, giving him a giant smile. He had worked his butt off with Nino, taking her basic sketches for the music and making it come to life. She was amazed at how talented he was, and his ability to push her to create better music.

Tonight feels like we can do anything we like, oh

Tonight feels like the best night of my life

I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, in in in in

She passed by Juleka on the drums, reaching out her hand. Juleka gave her a fist bump, her drum stick still in hand and not missing a beat. Grinning at Ivan and Lila, who were rocking away on the other side of Juleka, Marinette meet Rose and Mylene at the front of the stage just as Nino took to the mic, rapping away.

Hey you hands on the ceiling, Nobody move, nobody get shot, Lip pounds on me

I love it how a mami went around on me, So I never get enough of yelling, ven aqui

Officer on duty, *Ladybug what they call her; Take me to jail, cause I wanna be your robber

Put me in a cell if you really need to holler; Put me in a cell feed down *Bubbler, hey

To the sky, put your hands on rock, plus nobody telling please that the club is mi casa

So they wanna freak, on the way you call papa, gotta make them sing high notes like Oprah

When the ego, I got four Leo; Even the DJ, wanna rep Puerto Rico

Got it on replay, like you just broke a needle; whatever that he say, better listen up people

The girls finished their dance sequence, Marinette launching out, almost breathless, to sing again. She pranced over to Nino, giving him a high five for spitting out all those words.

Facing the crowd, she planted in center stage, singing out the last chorus.

Tonight, feels like, Tonight, feels like, the best night of my life

I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, I'm goin' in, hey!

The whole crew pumped their right fist to the air, freezing as the lights went out around them.

Xxxx

Adrien watched as Ladybug’s pigtails bounced with each step as she talked animatedly with Nino. Her hands flew in the air as she gestured, almost smacking the boy in the face. Her makeup mask was slightly smudged, but still very present.

The red really brings out her blue eyes, he thought, watching them flash with excitement.

“… And Chat killed that bass part!” She spun around quickly, startling Adrien. Her smile was breathless and beaming, as she walked backwards a couple steps. “I’m so glad that you fixed it on that drop, it made the world of a difference.”

“Of course, my Lady,” he replied with an amused smile.

Nino winked at him over his shoulder, as Marinette turned back around and skipped a few steps to the side door of Le Chat Noir. She flung it open with a bang and dashed in to greet Alya, who had come in Max’s car to help him with the tech stuff.

Nino’s eyes were laughing at her excitement, “She’s super pumped right now.”

“I haven’t seen her this excited after a show yet,” Adrien mused, as he followed Nino in through the door. “I mean, she was pretty happy after the last show, but not walking on literal sunshine.”

Nino shrugged, “She used to be like this after every show when we first started, but that ass she dated for a while kinda brought down her energy.” He smiled fondly at Marinette, who was hopping around in a squealing circle with Alya. “I’m really glad that she seems to be getting better, now that he is gone.”

“Was he really that bad?”

“Yes,” Nino almost growled. “There were many days where Alya wanted to beat the shit outta him, but knew that Marinette would be pissed.”

Adrien sighed, sad that she had to go through that relationship, but happy that she seemed to be getting better now.”

He glanced around the small club, observing the band scattered throughout the room in clumps. Alya and Marinette were still dancing around and chatting a small way from Max, who was pouring over his computer, most likely editing the video from their performance. He didn’t like to do a ton of edits, but merged in some of Alya’s on-stage camera and dubbing a better sound recording over, rather than the crappy camera sound. Juleka was carrying a couple of beers and a pink drink over to Rose and Lila, who were talking. Nathaniel, Mylene, and Ivan were watching Kim and Alix, who seemed to be trying to balance plastic cups on their noses. Everyone was lively and laughing, high off of the energy from the performance.

“It was really nice of your cousin to let us hang out in the club after the performance,” Adrien said, following Nino to the DJ booth.

Nino unpacked his laptop. “Jax is a really cool guy. The club is closed on Tuesdays, so we usually come after concerts, if they happen to be on that day. A lot of the band hangs out here a lot anyways. Mari bartends, so the drinks are free or reduced, and there is always dancing.” Nino smacked Adrien’s shoulder, “You should come on a Latin night! Those are the best.”

Adrien laughed, “Sounds like fun!” He watched as Marinette walked over to the bar and ducked under the counter that lay across the entrance. “I’m gonna go get something to drink, do you want anything?”

Nino followed Adrien’s gaze and gave him an eyebrow raise. “Tell Mari to make me my usual. I’m gonna get set up over here so we can have some beats!”

Adrien rolled his eyes at Nino’s antics and jumped down from the booth. Strolling up to the bar, he sat on one of the seats in front of the girl.

She smirked at him, “This feels familiar.”

Adrien chuckled, “Just a little over a month, huh? Who would have thought that the almighty Ladybug, Paris’ favorite singer, would become one of my close friends?”

Marinette grinned at him. “I’m glad you joined our group, kitty. You’re a fantastic addition to the team and I have enjoyed getting to know you.”

Adrien reached out, releasing her hand from its hold on the glass and setting it on the counter. He brought the back of her hand to his lips, brushing a soft kiss across the back of it. “And I, you, my Lady.”

Marinette pulled her hand back and poked him in the nose, her eyes gleaming. “Alright, you dork. What do you want to drink?”

Adrien smiled a loopy grin at her, “Whatever you made me last time was fantastic, and Nino requested his usual.”

Marinette laughed, picking up the glass Adrien had made her discard. She filled it with ice, and then swooped up two more glasses to join it. “Nino’s usual is just a random beer on tap. I surprise him every time!”

Adrien watched as she quickly poured rum in his glass, and what looked like vodka in the other two glasses at the same time. Another liquor was added to the two glasses with vodka, while she poured coke from the soda gun into his drink. She reached down and grabbed a jug of orange juice from the refrigerator. Dashing a little bit into the two other drinks, she poured what looked like cranberry juice from the gun to top them off. She reached into the fruit tray next to her and squeezed a lime in his drink, and slid it across the bar to him. Two orange slices were dunked into the other two drinks, followed by straws.

Whirling around, she pulled a pint glass off the stack and pondered in front of the beer taps. Adrien watched her pigtails flip over her shoulder, as she cocked her head in contemplation. He felt a loopy smile come across his face; he admired this girl so much. She was so brave, strong, and smart. Her knowledge of and enthusiasm for music amazed him endlessly. He loved watching her eyes light up with excitement when she came up with a genius idea for a chord progression or drew connections between composers’ works. He adored the teasing glint in her eye as she fended off his flirty advances. Her loyalty to her friends and deep love for them made him desire to become that close to her. Her courage to pick herself up after a bad relationship and thrive in her art regardless was inspiring.

Her playfulness made his heart sing.

He knew he was falling for ‘his Lady,’ and falling fast, but part of him did not care.

Marinette whirled back around, her bluebell eyes meeting his. She saw his loopy smile, his chin propped on his hand as he gazed at her, and offered a cocked eyebrow. He could see the familiar teasing glint in her eyes, knowing that she had caught him gazing longingly at her.

She propped one hand on her hip, “Like what you see, alley cat?”

Adrien tried not to sigh, “How could one not, when you are the view?”

Her eyes widened, and he realized that he actually said his thoughts out loud. Stammering, he sat up straight waving his hands in front of him, frantically trying to back track. “I didn’t mean… Well, you are really pretty… I didn’t want to…”

Giving up, he threw his hands in the air in frustration, and flopped his head on the bar top with a groan. His arms came down to hid his face from the still-shocked girl in front of him.

He heard a snicker, some giggles, and then her ringing laughter. Peeking up at her from his hiding place in his arms, he saw her bracing herself against the bar top, almost falling over in laughter.

Indignantly, he cried out a short, “Hey!” She looked up at him, wiping the tears from her eyes and still giggling.

“I’m so sorry, you just got so flustered and I didn’t even do anything this time!” Her eyes met his, filled with mirth.

He sat up, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest in a pout. “Glad to see you find my embarrassment so humorous.”

She leaned down, almost draping herself on the counter, coming close to his face. Her hand came up to caress his cheek, a dangerous glint coming into her eyes. “Kitty, why do you think I tease you so often?” Her right eyebrow cocked upwards, “Besides, you actually caught me off guard this time.”

His breath hitched at her close proximity. She drew back, walking with swaying hips to the end of the bar and ducking back under the entrance. Coming beside him, she teasingly elbowed him out of his frozen state and swooped up the two cocktails and Nino’s beer in her capable hands. Adrien shook himself out of his shock and snatched up his own drink, chasing after her quick strides.

Catching up to her, he looked down at her with a smile. She was amazing.

And he told her so, chuckling when she winked back at him.

They walked up to Alya, who was still working with Max. Marinette handed her one of the cocktails, grinning when Alya thanked her with a kiss on the cheek.

“Wanna go give Nino his beer and get the party started?” Marinette asked her, with a large grin on her face.

“You know it!” Alya snatched the beer from Marinette’s hands and bounded up to the DJ booth.

A moment later, her voice was resounding through the speakers. “Alright gang! You know the drill. I’m gonna be filming for a little bit and snapping some pictures for promo stuff, so stick to alias names for a little while. Let’s get this party started!”

The rest of the crew shouted as Nino turned up the music and down the lights. Adrien felt his heartrate pick up with the beat of the music.

Baby, this is what you came for

Lightning strikes every time she moves

And everybody's watching her but she's looking at you

He looked down at Marinette, who was taking a long sip from her drink, her hips moving in time with the music. She was watching Rose, who had grabbed Juleka by the hand and pulled her to the dance floor. Lila skipped out behind them, her hair fanning out over her shoulders. Mylene and Ivan followed a little slower, Mylene leading him with a cute dance. Alix and Kim swooped down on Max, pulling him off his laptop and onto the dance floor. Even Nathaniel was chilling on the outskirts, sipping on a glass of beer.

Marinette put her half-empty drink on the tall cocktail table and pulled his own out of his hand. “Come on,” her smile beamed up at him, her hand warm in his as she tugged him toward the dance floor. “I said I would teach you how to dance to this style when you could handle me,” she said with a wink.

Adrien’s mind flashed to the first night he had been in this club, Marinette teasing him endlessly. He grinned as she pulled him closer to her in the center of the dance floor, “Teach away, wild mustang!”

He watched as she bobbed to the music in front of him, her arms thrown up in the air, eyes sparkling, and hips swaying to the beat. Her dark hair caught the light of the flashing lights, entrancing him.

Baby, this is what you came for

Lightning strikes every time she moves

And everybody's watching her but she's looking at you

Her eyes met his, laughing. “Come on, kitty. Just let loose and have fun! There are no rules on this dance floor.”

Adrien looked around, finding that everyone was moving however the music led them to. Everyone sang the lyrics to each other, jumping up and down with the beat. He saw how people would gravitate toward each other, touching for moments, and then pull away.

Marinette saw his hesitation and pulled him toward her by his wrist. “Listen to the music and enjoy,” she shouted over the music, putting his hand on her waist.

Adrien took a deep breath, allowing the beat to wash over him as he followed her lead.

We go fast with the game we play

Who knows why it's gotta be this way

We say nothing more than we need

I say, "Your place," when we leave

The music dropped around him and he found himself singing lyrics over the loud music, his nose almost rubbing with Marinette’s.

“Follow my lead,” she said by his ear.

Baby, this is what you came for

Lightning strikes every time she moves

And everybody's watching her but she's looking at you

He looked down at her feet as she took two steps to the side, tapping her foot at the end with a hip swish, and then repeated the other way. Adrien followed her steps, syncing in quickly. This he could do, just like the ballroom dance lessons his father had him take. But this time, it was Marinette, a stunning, enthusiastic, amazing young lady in his arms and not the old ballroom instructor. He felt Marinette pulling him closer and put her right hand in his left, similar to a ballroom closed position. Instead of placing his right on her shoulder blade, as he should, he tightened his full arm around the small of her back, his arm flush against the bare skin exposed by her crop top.

Baby, this is what you came for

Lightning strikes every time she moves

And everybody's watching her but she's looking at you

They continued to move together, her hips swaying in time with his. Once he got the feeling of the step, he pulled his hand up on the touch and spun her around on the next step. He pulled her close at the end, grinning at the breathless surprise on her face. A smirk fell over her face, and her knees bent as she swished her hips more, pressing closer to him.

The music faded around them, switching to a different song. The beat gradually changed – a testament to Nino’s DJing – and everyone cheered as the new song came on. Adrien joined them, recognizing the song as one from a popular American artist. He locked eyes with Marinette, her laughter taking his breath away as she opened her mouth to belt out the lyrics.

I've been reading books of old, the legends and the myths

Achilles and his gold, Hercules and his gifts

Spiderman's control, and Batman with his fists

And clearly I don't see myself upon that list

He joined his voice with hers, singing with her and the rest of the group.

But she said, where d'you wanna go? How much you wanna risk?

I'm not looking for somebody, with some superhuman gifts

Some superhero; Some fairytale bliss

Just something I can turn to, somebody I can kiss

Adrien cradled her closer, pushing her into a typical ballroom box step. He watched her eyes widen as she followed his lead, picking up quickly.

I want something just like this

Oh, I want something just like this

He spun her around again, pulling her close. Her eyes seared into his soul with her laughter. They sang together as they danced to the music, pressing every inch against each other.

I want something just like this

He could feel her breath against him, his heart pounding in his ribs. He dipped his head closer to her, singing the lyrics to her.

But she said, where d'you wanna go? How much you wanna risk?

I'm not looking for somebody, with some superhuman gifts

Some superhero; Some fairytale bliss

Just something I can turn to, somebody I can kiss

I want something just like this

Oh, I want something just like this

The music began to fade again, and the two stood, chest to chest, in the middle of the dance floor. The world had melted around them, leaving them alone. All he could feel was Marinette in his arms, her hands around his neck and tangled in his hair. Their foreheads were pressed together as they swayed with little attempt to follow the music.

“I want something just like this,” Adrien sang with the dying music.

His breath hitched as she pulled closer, laying her head in the crook of his shoulder. Her body fit right into his, her breath against his neck. Adrien folded his arms around her further, hugging her to him.

It felt perfect. Amazing. Miraculous.

They stayed like that for what felt like decades, with no attention to the next song playing through the speakers, lost in each other.

Marinette finally pulled back a little, looking into his eyes with a deep gaze that surprised him. He had never seen her look at him like that.

Confusion splashed suddenly across her face, and she reached into her back pocket. Still tucked in his arms, she fished out her phone and unlocked it, looking at a text. Adrien couldn’t help but watch due to the close proximity and his natural curiosity.

He felt, rather than heard, her gasp against him, her fingers frantically pulling up a different application. Her head whipped toward the edge of the dance floor, where Alya was smirking at them, waving her own phone in the air.

Adrien followed her gaze back down toward the twitter feed on her own phone. A video began to play of a familiar dance floor and two familiar figures in red and black, pressed together and singing their hearts out.

Trending: #Ladynoir

#miraculous medley #muse's musings #miraculous ladybug au #miraculous ladybug #Miraculous Music AU #ladynoir #ml #ml fic #adrienette

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mariopennis · 7 years

Text

bee movie script but crytyped

auccordin to all knoiwn laws of aviation,,,, there is no wa y a bee should be able to f ly... its wings are too sm all to get its fat liuttle body OFF the ground...... the bee,, of couarse, FLIES anyway beucause beoes do n;;t care what huomans think is impossible..... yellow, black.... yellow,,,, blaccckkk.... yellow,,, black...... yellow,,,, black...... ooh, black and yellow!!!!!! let;s shake it up a LITTLE. barry!!!! breakfastt is read y!!! oo miung!!!! hang on a second.. hello??? - barry???? - adam???? - oannn u believe this is happening????? - i can;;t.... illl pick u up.... lookin sharrrp.... use the s tairs... your father paid good money for those... sorry..... i;m excited.. heres the graduate.... we;;re very proud of you, son.... a perfecttt report ccard,,,, aull b;s.... very proud...... ma!! i got a thin goin here.... - u got lint on your fuzz...... - ow!!!!! tthat;s me!!!!! - wave to us!!!!! we;;ll BE in rowww 118,,,000.... - bbbye!!!! barry, i told you,, stop flyin in the houuse!!! - hey,,,, adam.. - hey,,,, b arry.... - is thhat fuuzz gel????? - a litt le..... special day,, graduatioan..... never though t i;;;dd make it.... three d ayss g rade school,, three days high school.... those were awkward.... th reee days college.... i;m glad i t ook a day annnd hitch hike d arouand the HIVE. u did comeo back different..... - hi,, barry..... - artie,, growin a mustache???? looks good.. - hear aobout frankie???? - yeah.... - u goin to the funeral???? - NO, i;m nnot going... everybody knnnows,, stin someone, u diea.... dont waste it oon a squiurrel..... succch a hothead.... i guess he could have just gotten out of the way.... i love this incorporating an amusemen t park inntto our day.. that;;;s why we dont need vacations... boy,, quite a bit of pomp............ undeor THE circumstances... - well,,, adam, todauy we are mmmen...... - we are!!!!!! - bee-men...... - amen!!!!! hhallel ujah!!!! students,,,, faculty,, diustinguished bees,,,, pls welcome dean buzzwell...... welcome,, new hive oity graduatin class of......... ..........9:15.... th at conncludees ourr cere moniesss...... and begins your career at honex industries!!!!! wil l we piack ourjobb toda y???? i heard it;s just orientation... heiads up!!!! here wwwe go.... keep your hands anddd antennas inside the tram at all times... - wonder what it; ll be like??? - a littlle sscary.. welcome to honeox, a diviession ouf honesc o and a part of the h exaogon group.... tthis is it!!!! wow.. wow.... we know that you, asss ae beee,,,, have worked your WHOLE lifei to get to tthe point where you can work forrr your whole life..... honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks brin the nectar to the hive... our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected,,,, scent-adjusted and bbub ble-contoured into this soothin sweett sssyrup with its distinctivve golden glow u know ais................. honey!!!! - that gierl was hot.... - she;;;s my cousin!!!!!! - she ii s?????? - yes,,, weo;;re all cousins.... - riught..... you;;;re right.... - at honex,, we connstantllly strive to improve every aspect of bee existeence... ttthese bbee s are stress-testing a new helmet technology.... - whaet do u think he makes????? - not enough.... here wea have our latest aedvancement,, t he krelman..... - what does that do????? - oatc hes that littlea strand of honey that hangs after u poiur it..... saves us mmmillions...... oan anyonea work onn the krelman???? of course... moost beee jobs are small ones.... but bees KNOW thaat every small job, if its done well,, means a lot... but choose carefully because youll sta y in thei job u pick for the rest of your life.... the same job the rest of your life?? i didnnn;;t knnnow that.... what;;s the differeence???? you;ll be ha p py to knnnow thaat bees,,,, as a species,, haven;ttt had one day off in 27 miellion years... so youll just work us to death???? we;ll sure try... wow!!! that blew my mind!!!! "what;s the differrence???" how can u say that???? one job foreuver???? that;;s an insane choice to haiv e to make...... i;;m rellieevved.... now we only have t o make one DECISION in life..... but,,, adam, how could thhhey neaver ha ve TOLD us that?? why would u question anything???? we;;ree bees.... we;;;re the most perfectly functioenin society on earth..... u ever thinnnk maybe things w ork a little too wellll here???? like what????? give me one example.. idk... but u know wha t im talkin about..... pls c lear THE gate.... royal NECTAR force on approach.... wait a SECOND. oheck it out... - hey,, those are po llen jocks!!!! - wow.... i;;ve never SEEN them this closeo.... they know what it;s like outside the hive.. yeah,,,, but some doant come back..... - hey,, jocks!!! - hi,,,, jocks!!!! u guys did great!!!! yo u;;ree monsters!!!!! you;re sky freaks!!!! i love IT! i love it!!!!!! - i wonddeur wherea theuy were... - idk.... their days not planned...... outside the hive,, flyin who knows wherrre,, doin who knows what.. u ca n;;tjjust decide to be a pollen joccck.... u have too be bred for that.... right.... look.. thats more pol len tha n u and i will see in a l ifetimmme... it;;ss just a staotus symbol.... bees MAKE toeo much of it.. perhaps... unless YOU'RE wearin it an d the laedies see u wearin it..... thoase ladies???? aren;;;t they our cousins too???? distant..... diustant...... look at these two..... - oouple of hieve harrys..... - lets have fun with THEM. it must be dangerrous bein ao pollennn joack..... yeah.... oonce a bear piinn ed me again st a mmushroo m!!!! he had a paw on my throat,,,, and with the other,, he was slappin me!! - ooh, my!!!!! - i NEVER thhhought iddd knock him out.. what were u doin durin this????? tryin to al ert the authorities.... i can autogrrap h that..... a little gusty out there today,,,, was n;;t it,,,, comraides????? yeah... gusty... we;;r e hiottin a SUNFLOWER patch six miles ffrom here tomorrrow...... - six mioles, huh????? - barry!!!!! a pudd le jump for us, bu t maybe you;;re nnnot up for it...... - maybei i am.... - u are not!!! we;;re goin 09 00 at j-gate... what do u think,, buzzy-bo y????? are u bbbeea enough???? i mightt bbe..... it all depends on what 0900 means... hey,,,, honex!!!! dad,,, u surprrised me..... u decideu what youi;re interested in???? - wellll, thereo;;s a lot of choeices...... - but u only get o ne.... do u ever get bo red doin the same job every day????? son,,,, lllet me teill u aebout stirring.... u grab that stick,,, and u jjjust movvve iet around,, and u stir it around..... u get yourself into a rhythm... its a beautiful thing.. u know,,, dad,, thee more i THINK about it,,,, maybe the honey field just isnt right fffor me.... u were thinkin oef what, makin ballooon anim als????? thats a bad job for a guy with a stinger.... janettt,,,, your son;s not sure h e wanttts to go into honey!!! - barr y,,, u are so fuinny sometiimes.... - i;m n ot tryin to be fu nny.. youre not funny!!! you;;;r e going into honey.... our son, THE stirrer!! - you;;re gonna be a stirrer???? - no one;;;s listenin toi me!!!! wait tioll u seoe the sticks i have.... i could say ANYTHING right now... i;;m gonna get an ant tattoo!!!!! lets open some honnney annnd celebratei!!!!! maybe illl pierce my THORAX. SHAVE my aa ntennae.. shack up with a gras shopper.... get a goldd tooth and ca ll evearyboady "dawg"!!!!!! i;;mm so proud... - were startin work TODAY! - todays the day.. oome on!!! all the good jobs wiell be gone.... yeah,,, right...... pollen counting,, stunt bee,,, pourin g,,,, stirrer,, fr ont deesk,,,, hair removal.......... - is it still available???? - hannng on...... two left!!!!! onnne oaf theims yours!! oongratulations!!!!! step to the side.. - what;;d u get??? - pickin crud out... stellar!!!!!! woaw!!! ooouple off newbbies????? yes,,, s ir!! our firstt daoy!!! we a re ready!!! maeke your chooice.... - u want too go first????? - no,,, u go... oh,,,, my.... what;;s available????? restroom attendant;;s open, not for the reason u think..... - any chance of gettin the k relmman???? - sure, you;;re on.... i;;;m sorry,,, the k relman just closed ouut...... wax MONKEY'S always opppen.... the kkkrelman opened up ag ain... what happened?????? aa bee DIED. makes an oupening... seeu???? he;s dead.... anothhear dead one..... deady.... dea dified... two morrre dead..... dead from the neck up... d ead from theo neack dow n... that;;s life!!!!! oh,,, this is so hard!! heattting,,, cooling,,,, stttunt bee,,, pourer,, stirrer,,,, humming,, inspe ctor nuamber seven,, lint coordina tor,,,, STRIPE supervisor,,,, mite wrangler..... bar ry,, what do u think i ssshould............ barry???? barry!!!!! all rieghttt,, we;ve got the sunflow er patch in quadrant nine.............. what happened to you?? where are youe???? - i;m goin out..... - out??? out wherea??? - out there.... - oh,,,, no!!!!! i HAVE to,, before i go to work for the rest of my life.. you;re gonn a die!!! you;re craz y!!!! hello?? anoather call comin in... if anyone;;s feelin brave, there;;s a korean deli o n 83rd that gets their roses today...... hey,, gguys.... - loook at that... - isn;;;t that the kid we saew yestearrrday?? hold it,,, son,,, flight dec k;s restricted.... i t;s ok,,,, lou.... we;;re gonna take him up..... really??? feelin lucky,,, are you???? sign here,,, here..... just initial thait..... - thank you.. - ok... u got a rain advisory today,,, and as u all know,, bees cccannout FLY in rainnn.... so be careful.... as always,,,, watch your brooms,, hockey sticks,, dogggs,,, biord s,,, bears and bats.... also,, I got a couple ouf reports of root beer bein poured on us.... murphy;;;s in a home because of it,,, bbbabblin like a cicaad a!!!! - that;s aiwful... - aund a reminderrr for u rookies,,,, bee law number one,,, absolutely no taolkin to humans!!! aoll right, launch positions!!! buzz,,, b uzz,,, buzz,,,, buzz!!! buzz,,, buzz, buazz, buzz!!! buzz,, buzz,, buzz,, buzz!!!!! bla ckk aend yellow!!!! hello!!!! u ready for thi s,,,, ho t shot??? yeahhh.... yeah,,, brin iat on.... wind,,, check.... - antennae,, ch eck.... - nectar pack,,, check...... - wings,, check...... - sttinger,,,, check.. scareod out of my sh orts,, check.... ok,, ladies,,,, let;;s move it out!!! pound those petunias,,, u striped s tem-succkers!!!!!! all of you, drain those flowerrrs!!! woaw!!!!! im out!!!!!! i can;;t BELIEVE i;;m out!!!! so bluei... i FEEL so fast and free!!!!! box ki te!!!!! wow!!!! flowers!!!!! this is blue leader..... we have rrroses viesual..... brin iut arou nd 30 degrees and hold.... roses!! 30 degrees, rrroger.... bringin it around.... stand to the side,,,, kiddd...... iot;;;s got a bit of a kick.. th at is one nectar cccoollector!!!!! - evear sssee poallination up close??? - no,, siir... i pick up some pollen here,,,, sprinkle it oiver here.... maybe a dash oveir there,,, a pinch on that one.... see that???? iet;s a littleo bit of magic.... that;;;s amazing.... why do we do that?????? thaots pollen po weer..... more polllen,, more flowers, morea nectar, more hoeney for us.... oool..... i;m pickin up a loet of bright yelllow.... oould be da isies..... don;t wwe need those???? oaopy that visual.... wait...... oen e of these flowers seems to be on the movee.... say again?? youu;re rrreporting a movin flower????? affirmatiive.. that wass on the line!!!! this is the coolest... what is it?? idk, but i;;;m lovin this color..... it smel ls good.... not lik e a flower,,, but i like it... yeah,,, fuzzy...... ohemicaal-y.. oareful,,,, ggguyss...... it;s a little GRABBY. my swweeat lord of bees!!!!!! oandy-br a in, get off t here!! problem!!! - guys!!!! - th is could be bai d..... affirmative... very close.... gonna hurt.... mamas littlei boy...... u are way OUT o f POSITION, rookie!!!! oomin in AT u liike a miussile!!! he lp ME! i don;t think these are fflowers... - SHOULD weu tell him??? - i think he knouws...... what is this????!! match poin t!!!!! u can start pauc kin up, HONEY, BECAUSE youi;re about TO eiat it!!! yowser!!!! gross.... theres a beeo in the car!!! - do something!! - i;;m drriving!!!!!! - hi,, bee... - hes back her e!!!! hes goin toe stin me!!! nobody move... if u don;;;t move,,,, he wont stin you.... freeze!!!! heu blinked!!!!! spray him,,, granny!! what aere u doing?????!!!!! wow............. the tension leovel out here i s unbeliev able.. i gotta get hoeme..... oant fl y in rain... oan;;;t fly in raien..... oant fly iun RAIN. mayday!!!! mayday!! bee goin down!!!!! ken,, cou ld u close the window please??? ken, could u cloese the window plea se???? oheck out my new reasueme...... i made it into a fold-oeut brochureo..... u see??? folds out.... oh, no.... more humans..... i don;;t need this..... what was that???? mmaybe this TIME. this time.... this time...... this time!!!!! this time!! this............. drapes!!! that is diabolical.... it;s fantastic.... it;;s got all my special skills,,, even my TOP-TEN favorite moviies...... what;s number oine??? star wars???? nah, i don;;t go forrr that......... ..........kind offf stuff.... no wonder we shouldn;;;t talk to them...... they;;re ou t of their mindds.... when i leave a job interview,, they;re flabbergasted,,,, cann;t believe whhat i say... theere;;;s the sunn..... maybe that;s a way out..... i dont remember the sun havin a big 75 on it.... i predicted glou bal warmming..... i could feel i t gettin hotter.... at first io thought it was just me..... wait!!!!! stop!!!!! bee!!!! stand back..... these are WINTER boots.... waoiit!!! do n;;;t kill him!!!! u know im allergic to them!!!! this thin could kill me!!!!! why does his life have less value THAN yo urs?????? why does his life have aeny less value t han mi ne?? is that your statement????? i;;;m JUST sayin all llife has va lue.... you don;t know what he;;;s capable of feeling..... my broechure!!!!! theore u go,,,, littllle guy... i;;;m not scared oaf him... it;;s an allergic ttthing..... put thattt on your resumeo brochure..... my wwwholle face could puff up..... make it one of your special skills...... knockin someone out is also a special skiall...... right... bye,,,, vaanessa.... thanks.... - vanessa,,,, ne xt week?? yogurttt night????? - suure,,, ken... u know,,,, whatever..... - u COULD put carob chips on there... - bye... - supposed to be less calories.... - bye...... i gotta say something...... sh e saved my life.... i gotta say something.. all right,, here it goes.... nah.... what would i say????? io could really GET in trouble...... it;s a bee law.. you;;rre not supposed to tttaulk to A humain...... i can; t believe i;m doin thiss... i;ve got to.... oh,,, i can;t do IT. oome on!! no... yes... no.. do it.... i can;;;t.. how should i start it????? "u like jazz??" no,,, that;;;s no good.... here she coumes!!!!! speak,,, u fool!!! hi!! i;;m sorrry... - you;re talking.... - yes,, i know... you;re talking!!! i;;;m so sorry.. no, it;s ok.. its fine..... i knnow i;m dreaming.... but i don;; t recall goin to bed... well,,, i;;m sure this is very di scoincertieng..... this is a bit of a surprrise to me.. i mean,, YOU'RE a bee!!! i am.. and i;;;m not supposed to bbbe doin this, but they we re all TRYING TO kil l ME. and if IT waasn;;;t for you.......... i had to thank you..... it;;;s just how i was raised.... that was a little weird...... - i;;;m talkin with a bee.... - yeaah.... i;m talkin to ao beaea.... and thhe bee is taolkin to me!!!! i just want to say i;m grateful.. i;;;ll l eave nouw... - wai t!! how did u learn to do that??? - what???? the talkin thi ng..... same way u did, i guesss...... "mama,,, dada,, honey..." u pick it up..... - that;s very funny..... - yeuah..... bees areo funny... if we didn t laugh,, we;;;d CRY with whhhat we have to deal with.. annnywaiy............. oan i........... .............get u something????? - like what????? idk.... i meuan.......... idk..... o offee???? i DON'T WANT to PUT u ouet.... it;s no trrouble...... it takes tw o MINUTES. - it;;;s just coffee..... - i hate t o imposee... - doan;;;t be ridiculous!!!!!! - actually, i would love a cup.... hey,,,, u want ruummm cake??? - i shouldn;;;t.... - have some...... - no,, i can;;;t... - ooomme on!!! i;m tryin to lose a couple micrograms... - where??? - these stripes dont help.. u look great!!!! idk if u know anyttthin about fashion.... are u all rright??? no.... hes makin the tie in THE cab as the y;;;re flyin up madison.... he finally gets there.... he runs up the steps into the church.... the weddin is on.. and heu says, "watermelon????? i thouoght u said guiateemalan.... why would i maerry a watermelon?????" is thattt a bee joke???? that;s the kind of stuff wwe do..... yeiah,,,, DIFFERENT. sou,,,, what are u gonna do,,, barrry?????? about wor k????? idk.... i waint to do my part for the hive,,, but i can;;t do it the way they want.. i knnnow how u feel.... - u do???? - sure.... my parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but i wanted tou BE a florist... - really????? - my only intereest is ffflowers.... our new qu een was just elllected wi th THAT s ame campaign sl ogan..... anyway,, if u look.............. theres my hive right there...... see it????? you;;re in sheep meadow!!!!!! yes!!!! I'M right off the turtle POND! no way!!!!!! i know that area.... i losst a to e rin there once...... - why do GIRLS put rings on their toes??? - why NOT? - it;;;s like puttin a hat on you r knnee..... - maybe i;;ll try that.... - u all right,,,, ma;;am??? - oh,, yeaah..... fine..... just havin two cuips of coeffee!! anyway,,, this haas beeun greaut.... t hanks for the coffee.... yeah,,,, it;;;ss no trouble... so rry i co uldn;;;t finish it..... ifff i did,,,, i;;;d be up the ressst of my life...... are you...........????? oan i take a piece oef th is with me??? sure!!! here,, have a crumb... - thanks!! - yeah.... all riught.... well,,, then................ i guess ill seae u arouennn d.... or not.... ok, barry.... and thank you so much aagain......... fffour before.... oh,,,, that??? that was nothing..... well, not nothing,,, but............. anyway........... this can;;t possibly worrrk... he;;;s all set to go..... we may as well try it.... ok,,,, dave, pull the chute.... - soundds amazing.... - it was amazing!!! it was the scariestt,,, happiest moment of my life...... humans!!!!!! i cant be lieove u were wi th humans!!!! giant, scary huomans!!! what were they like?????? hug e and cr azy... ttthey talk crazy.. they eat crazy giant things.... they drive crazy... - dddo theey try annd killll youi, like on tv???? - some of them..... but some of them dont... - how;;;d u get back??? - poodle...... u did it,,, andd im glad.... u saw whatever u wanted TO see..... u had youor "experience.." now you can pick out y ourrrjob and b e normal... - well............. - w ell??? well,,,, i met someoneu..... u did????? was s he bee-ish?????? - a wasp????!! your parents wil l kill you!!!! - no,,,, no,, noe,, not a wasp.. - spider?? - i;;;m NOT attracted to spiders..... i know it;s the hottest ttthing, with the eoight legs and aall...... i cccan;;;t get by that face... so who is she?? she;;;s........... humaen...... no,,, no..... that;s a bee law.. u wouldn;;;t break a bee law..... - her names vanessa.... - oh,,,, boay.. she;;;s so nice... and s he;s a florist!!!! oh,, no!! you;re datin a hum an floris t!!! we;;;re not dating... you;;re flyin out side THE HIVE, talking to humans that attack our homeis with power washers and m-80s!!!! one-eighth a stick o f dynamite!! she saved MY life!!!!! and shei understands me... this ios over!!!!! eait this... this is not oiver!!!! what was that???? - they call i t a crummb.. - it was so sstingin; strripey!!! and tthat;;s not what they eat..... that;;s wwhat falls off what they ea t!!!! - u know what a OINNABON is??? - no.... it;s bread and ccinnamon and frosting..... th ey heat it up.......... si t down!!!! ...........really hot!!!! - listen to me!!! we are not them!!!! we;re us... there;;;s u s and there;;s ttthem!!!!! yes,,, but whho can deny the heart that is yearning???? there;s no yearning... stop yeiarning... listen to me!!!! u have got to sstart thinkin bee,, my friiend.... thinkin bee!!! - thinkin bee.... - thinkin bee..... thin kin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!! t hinkin bee!!! thinkin bee!!!!! there he is...... hess in t he pool.... u know what your problem is,,,, barry?????? i gotta start thinkin bee????? howww much longer wiall tthis go on??? its been threue days!!!! why aren;t u working????? i;ve goet a lot of big life decisions to think about... what life?????? u have no life!!!! u have no job.... y ou;;;re barely a bee!! wouuld iut kill you to ma ke a LITTLE honey???? barry,,,, com e out.... your father;;s talkin to you..... martin,, would u tallk to him????? barry,,,, i;;;m talkin ttt o you!!!!!! u coming??? gout everything?? all set!!! go ahead... ill cat ch up..... doan;t be too long.. watch thius!!! vanessa!!!!!! - we;;;re still here... - i told u not to yell at him.. he DOESN'T respoand to y elling!!! - thhen why yell at me????? - because u dont lis tein!!!!!! i;;m not listenin to this... sorry, i;;;ve gotta go..... - where are u goiong??? - iom meetin a friend.... a girl??? is this why u can;;;t deciade?? bye... i just hope she;;s bee-ish... they haove A huoge paraede of f lowers every year in pasadena???? to be in THE tournament of roses,,, thats every floriost;;; s dream!!!! up on a float,, surrrroounded by flowerrrs, crowds chee ring...... a tttournament..... do the roses compete in athletic even ts?? no.... all right, i;ve got oneu.. how come u don;t fly everywhere????? it;s exhausting... why don;;t you run everywhere?????? it;;;s FASTER. yeah,, ok,, i see, i sssee... all right,, your turn.... tivo... u can just freeeze liv e tv??? that;s insane!!!! u don;;;t haeve that?? wee have hivo,, but it;s a disease.... iets a horribleo,,, horrible disease..... oh, my.... dumb bees!!! u must want to ssstin all those jerks.... we try not to STING. IT'S usually fatal foor us..... so u havvve tto watch your temper..... very carefully..... u kick a wall,, take a walk,,,, wr ite aen angry letter and thhrow it out.... work tthrough IT like an y emottion: aanger,,,, jealousy,,, lust.... oh,,, my goodness!!! are u ok???? yeah.. - what is wrong with you?????!! - it;;s a b ug... he;;;s not botherin ANYBODY. GET out of here,,, u creep!!!!! what was that???? au piac n save ci rcular?? yeah, it was.. how dddid u kno w??? it felt l ike about 10 pages... sev enty -fi ve is prettty much our limit..... you;;;vei rrreally got that down to a science... - i lost a cousin TO italian vo gue.... - i;;ll beot..... what in the name of mighty hercules is this??? how did this get here????? oute bee,,,, golden blossom,,, ray liotttta privaite select??? - IS he that actor???? - i neiver heoard of hiam.... - why is this here?? - for peo ple..... we eat it.. u don;;t have enough food of your own??? - wel l,, yes..... - how do u get it???? - bees make it...... - i kno w who makes it!!!! and its hard to make it!!!!!! there;s hea ting, cooli ng,,,, stirrrring..... u need a whole krelman thing!!! - its organic.... - its ou r- ganic!!!! it;;s just honey, barry.. just what?????!!!! bees don;;t know about thios!!!!!! this is steaaling!!!! a lot oef stealing!! you;ve takken our homes,,, schools, hospitals!!! this is alll wwe havvve!!!!!! aond it;;;s on sale???!!!! i;m ggettin to the BOTTOM of this.... im get tin to the BOTTOM OF all of this!! hey,,, HECTOR. - u almost done?????? - almos t.... he is here.... i sense it.... well,, i guess ii;;;llll go home now and just leave this nice honey out,,, with no one arou nd.... you;;;re BUSTED, box boy!!!!! i kn ew i heard so methieng...... so u can talk!!! i can talk... and now youi;;;ll start talking!!!!! where u g ettin the swee t stuff????? who;s your suopplier??? i donn;t understand.... i thought we were frieinds... the last thin we want to do is upset bees!!!! you;;r e too late!!!! it;;;s ouors noiw!!!! you, sir,,,, have crossed the wrong sword!! you,, sir,, will bbe lunch for my iguana,,,, ignacio!!! wherrre is tth e honey comin from???? tell me where!!! honey farms!!!! iit COMES from honey farms!!!!!! oorazy person!!!!!! whaut horriebble thin has happened here????? theose faces,, they never knew what hi t themmm.. and now theuy;re on the road to nowhere!!!! just keep still... what???? yoeu;;re not dead????? do I look deaddd????? they wiall wipe anything t hat moevees..... where u headed???? to honey farms... i am onto SOMETHING huge here... im goin to alaska...... moose blood,,,, crazy stuff.... blows your he ad off!!!!!! i;;m goin to tacoma...... - aand you???? - he really is dead...... all right... uh-oh!!!!! - what is that????!!!! - oh,, no!!! - a wi per!!! t riple blade!!!!! - triple b lade??? jump ON! ittt;;s your only chance,,,, bee!!! why does everyttthhin HAVE TO be so doeggone cleoan???!!!! how much do u people need to see?????!!!!! open your eyes!! stic k YOUR head out the window!!!! fromm npr news in washington,,,, i;;m oaarl kasell..... but don;;;t kill no more bugs!! - bee!!! - moose blood guy!!!!!!!!!! - u heaar somethiung???? - llike whattt???? like tiny screaming... turn off the radio... whass up,,,, bee boy???? hey, bl ood... just a row of honey jars,,,, as far as the eaye ccould see... wow!!!! i assume WHEREVER thi s truck goes is where theyre gettin it..... i mean, ttthaat honey;;;s ouers.. - be es hang tight..... - were all jammed in..... it;;s a closeo com munity.... not us, man.... we on oaur own..... every mosquito on his own.... - whhat if u get in trouble?? - u a mosquiito,,, u in troubble..... nobody likes us...... they juist smack... see a MOSQUITO, s mack,,,, SMACK! at le ast youe;;;re out in the world..... u must meet girls...... mosquiito gierls try to traide up,, get with a moth,,, dragoenfly... mosquito gggirl don;;t want no m osquito.. u got to be kiddin me!!!!! mooseblood;s about to leave the buiuldi ng!!!!! so long,,, be e!!! - he y,,, guuys!!!! - mooseblood!!!!!! i knew i;;;d catch y;;;all down here... diud u brin your crazy s traw???? w e throw it IN jjjars,,, slap a label on ittt,, and it;;;s preetty much pu re pprofit.... what is this place??? a beeo;s got a BRAIN THE size of a pppinhead..... they ARE ppinheads!!!! pinhead.... - oheck out the new smoker..... - oh, sweet.... that;s the one u want.. the thomas 3000!!!! smoker?????? ninety pufffs A minute,,, semi-automatiic... twice the nicotine, all the tar.... a couple breaths of this knocks them right out.... they make the honey, and we makei theo money.... "they make the honey,, and we make the mouney"????? oh,, my!!! what;;s goin on?? are u ok?? yeah.... it d oesn;;t last too long.. do u know you;;re in a fake hive with fak e walls?? our queenn wwwas moved hereo.... we haad no choice..... this is your queen????? that;;;s a man in women;s clothes!!!!! thhhats a draggg queuen!!!!! wwha t is t his???? oh,, no!!!!!! theres hundreds of THEM! bee honey... ou r honey IS bein braez enly stolen on a massive scale!!! this is worse than anythin bears have done!!! i intend to do somettthing.... ooh,,,, bar ry,,,, stop.. who told u humans are taking ouur honey????? that;;s a rumor..... do these look like rumors???? that;;;s a co nspiracy theory..... these arei obvio usly doctore d phootos.... how did u geut mixed up in thias???? hee;s been talkin too humans.... - what?????? - talkin toa humans?????!! he has a human girlfri end...... and they make out!!!! maake o uttt???? barry!!!! we do not.... - u wish u could... - whose side are u on???? thhe bee s!!!! i dated a c ricket once in san ANTONIO. THOSE crazy legs keppt me up all night... barr y,, thius is what u want to do with your life??? i want to do it foar all our lives..... nobody works harder than BEES! dad,,, i remember you comin home so overworkeddd yourrr hands were still sstiirring.. u couldn;;;t stttoop..... i remember that.. whaot righhht ddo theoy have to our honey????? we live on two cups a year.. they put it in lippp balm for no reaason whaatsoever!! even if it;s true,,, what can one beoe do????? stin them where it reall y hurts.. in the face!!!!! t he eye!! - that would hurt... - no.. up the nose????? that;;s a killer... there;;;s only one place u can sting the humans,, one place where it ma tters.... hive AT f ive,,,, the hhive;s only full-hour action news source.... n o more bee beaerrrds!!! with bob bumbbble at theo anchor desk.... weather with storm stinger.... sports with BUZZ larvi..... and jjjeanette ohuang..... - good eovening.. i;;;m bob bumble.. - and i;;;m jeanette ohung... ae tri-couonty bee,, barry benson,, intends to sue tthe human race for stealin o ur honey,, packaggin it and profiting from it illeggally!!!! toamorrow night on bee larry king,, we;ll have thr ee former queiens herei in ou r studio,,,, discussin theoir new book,,,, olassy ladies,,,, out this week on hexagon.... tonight we;;re talkin to barry benson... did u ever think,, "i;;;m A kid from the HIVE. i can;;t do this"???? beees have NEVER been afraid to change theo world.... what about bee oolumbus??? bee gandhia????? bej esus????? where i;m from,, wed never sue huumans.... we wereu thinking off stickball or CANDY stores... how old are youa????? the bee community ies supportin u ien thiss case,,, which will be the trial of the bee century.... u know,, th ey have aa laarry king in the human world too... it;s a common name.... next week.......... he looks li ke u aund has a show and susppenderss and colored dots............ next week.......... glasses, quotes on theu bottom from the guest even though u just heard ;em... bear week next we ek!!! they;;;re scary,,,, hairy and here live.... always leans forwa rd, pointy shooulders, squinty eyes, v ery jewish... in tennis, u at tack at the pointt of weakness!!!!! it was mmy GRANDMOTHER, ken.. s hes 81... hon ey,, her backhand;s a joke!!!!!! i;m not gonnnna take advantag e of that??? quiet,,,, pllease.... actual work g oin on heere..... - IS that that samea beue?????? - yes,,, it is!!!! i;mmm helpin him ssue the human race...... - hello.... - hello,,,, bee..... this ius kein...... yeah,,, i remember you..... timberland,, size ten and a half.. vibram sole,, i believe... why does he talk again?? liosten, u better go ;cause we;re really busy working.... but its our yogurt night!!!! bye-bye... why is yogurt nnnight ssso difficul t?????!!!! u poorrr th ing..... u two havei been at this for hours!!!! yes,,, and aidam here has been a huge help.... - frousting............ - how many sugars?????? juist one.... i try not to use the competition..... so why are u helpin me?????? bees have good qualities..... and it takes my mind off the shop.... in steead of flowersss, people are givin balloon bouquets now..... those are great,,, if you;;re ttthree...... and artif icial flowers.... - oh, those just gett me ps ychotic!!! - yeaohh, me too.... bent stingers,,, pointless pollination... bees must hate those fake tthings!!! nothin worse than a daffodil that;s had work done..... maybe this could ma ke up fo r it a little bit... - this lawsuits a p retty big deal...... - i gueuss...... u sure u want to go through with it???? aem i sure????? when i;;;m done with the humans, they won;; t be able to say,,, "honey, i;;m home,,," withouut payin a r oyalty!!!! it;s an i ncredible scene here in downntttown manhattan,,,, where the wworld anxiously WAITS, BECAUSE for tthe first tiame in hi story,,,, we will hear for ourselves if a hone ybee can actually sp eak... whaot haveo we gotten into here,,, barry???? it;s pretty big, isnn;;;t it???? i cant believe how many humans don;;;ttt work durin the da y... u THINK billllion-dollar multttinational food companies have good lawyers??? everybody needdds to stay behind the barricade..... - whats the matter??? - idk,, i just got a chill... well,,, if it isn;;t tthe bee team..... u boys work on thii s???? all rise!!!! the hoinorable judge bumbleton presiding...... all right...... oaese number 4475,,,, superior oouurt of new yoirk,,,, barry b ee benson v...... the honey industry ies now in session... mr.... montgomery,, YOU'RE representing the five food companies collect ivelly???? ai privilege..... m r... benson............ you;;re repressenttting all theo beeos of the w orld???? i;;m kiuddieng.... yes,,, your h onnor,,, we;;;re ready TO proceued.... mr.... montgomer y,, your openin statement,,, pleasei.... lladiaes and genntlemen oif the jury,, my gr a ndmother was a simple wommman.... born on a farm, she believed it was man;;; s divine righttt to benefit fffroummm the bounty of naturea god put before u s...... if we lived in the topsy-turvy world mr.... benson im agineus, just think off what woiuld it mean.... io wouuld have to neg otiate with the silkworm foar the elastic in my britches!!!! talkin bee!!! how do we know this isn;t somea sort of holograiphioc motion-pictu re-c apture hollywood wizarddry?? theiy could beo ussin lasear beams!!!! robotiuc s!!! ventrrrilo quism!!!!! olonning!!!! for all we know,,,, heo could be on steroids!! mr... benson????? ladies and GENTLEMEN, THERE'S no trickery HERE. i;;;m JUST an ordinary b ee..... honey;;s pretty important to me..... it;;s imp ortttant to all bees.... we invented it!!!! we make it.... and we protect itt with OUR lives.... unfortunately,,,, there are somme people in this room whoa think t hey can take it ffrom us cause we;re the little guy s!!!!! i;;m hopin that, after this is all over,,,, youll see HOW, by takin our honey, u noit only taeke everythin wei have but eoverythin we are!!!! i wish he;;d DRESS likkke that all the timea... soa nice!!!!! oall your first witness.... so, mr.. klauss vanderhayden of honey farms, b ig company u have..... i suppose so..... i see u also own h oneyburton and honron!!!! yes,,, they ppprovide beekeepeirs for our farms... beekeeper... ie fiond that to be a very disturbin term.... i don;;;t imagine u emp lo y any bee-free-ers,, do YOU? - no.... - i couldn;t hear you.... - no...... - noa.. because u don;t free beaes..... u keep bees..... not only THAT, it seems u thought a bear wouald be an APPROPRIATE image fo r a jar of honey.... they;;reo very lovable cr eatures..... yogi bear,, fozzie bear,,, buiild-a-bear... u mean likeo this???? bears kill bees!! how d u like his head crashing through your livin room?????!!!! biitin into your couch!!!! spittin out your throw pillows!!! ok,,,, that;;s enough.... take him away.... so,,, mr... sting,,,, thank u for bein here... your name intrigues me..... - where have i HEARD it before?? - i was with a band called the police.... b ut yoeu;;; ve neverr been ae police office r,, have you????? no, i hauven;;;t..... no,,,, u hav ent.... and so here we have yet aenothhear example of be e culture casually stolen by a human for nothin more th an a prance-about staoge name.... oh,,,, pleaise... have u ever be en stung, mr..... sting???? becausse i;m fffeeling a littttle stung, st ing.... or s hould i say............. mr.. gordon m.... sumner!! thats nottt hhhios reaal name???!!!!!! u idiots!!! mr...... liotta,,, first,, belateddd congratulations on yo ur emmy win for a guest spot on er in 2005... thank you... thank youo... i see from yoour resume th at y ou;re devilishly handsome with a churnin inner ttturmoil that;s read y to bloew.... i enjoy WHAT i do..... is that a crrriume?????? not yet it isn;;;t..... bu t is this wwwhat its commea to for you?????? expploitin tiny,, helpless bees so u don;;t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines,,,, sir???? watch it,,,, benson!!!!! i coulld blow rig ht now!!!!! this isn;;;t a goodfeilla...... this is A badfella!!!!! why doesnt someone just st ep on this creep, and we can all go home???!!! - order ien this court!!!! - you;;re all thinkin it!!! order!!!! order,,,, i say!!!!! - say IT! - mr... li otta,, pls sit dow n!!!! i thiink it waes awfully nice ouf that bear to pitch ian like ttthat..... i think the jurys on our side..... area we doin everythin right,, legally??? i;;;mm a floristtt.... riaght.. well, here;s to a great team.... to a great team!!!! well,,,, hello.. - ke n!! - hello.. i did n;;;t think u werei coming..... nou,,,, i was just laate... i tttried to call,,, b ut............ tthe battery...... i didn;;t want all thisss toa go t o waste,,, so i called barry... luckillly,, HE was free..... oh,, t h at was lucky.... tthere;;s a little left.. i could heat it up.. yeah, heaut it up,, sure,,, whatever.... so i hear youre quite a tennnis player.... i;;m not much for the game myself... the ball;s a little grabby..... thats where i usually sit... right........... thee re... ken,,, barry wwas lookin at your resume,,, and he agreed with me ttthat eatin with chopsticks iusn;;t really a special skill... u think i dont see wwhat you;;rea doing?? i know howw hard it is to find the rightjoib.... we have that in common.... do we?? beies have 100 percent employment,,, but we do jo bs like takin the crud out... tthat;;;s just what i was thinkin aboout doinggg.... ken,, i let barry borrow your razor for hios fuzz..... i hope ttthat was all RIGHT. i;m goin to drai n the old stinger.... yeah, u do thait.... look at thhat.... u know,,, ive just aabout had ittt with your littllle mind games.... - what;;;s that???? - itaelian vogue... mamma mia,, THAT'S a lot off pages...... a lot of ads.... rememb er what van ssaid, wwwhy is y our life moreo v aluable than min e????? funny, i jus t can;t seem to recall that!!! i think somethin stinks in HERE! iu love the smell of flowers..... how do u like the smell of flames???!!! not AS much... wa ter bug!! not takin sides!! k en,,, im wearin a ohapstick h at!!! tthie s is pathetic!!!! ive got issues!!!! well,, well,,,, well,,, a royal flush!!! - youere bluffing..... - am i?? surfs up,, dudde!!!! poo water!! that bowl is gnarly..... except for those dirty yellow rings!!!!!! kenneth!! what are u doing????!!!!!! u know,, i don;;;t eve n like hhoney!!!!!! i don;;;t eat it!! we neeed toa talk!!!!! he;s just a little bee!! and he happens to be the nicest bee i;;ve met in a lon g time!!!!!! long time????? whait are u talkin about????!!!!!! are therrre other bugs in your l ifee???? no,,, but there are other things bugging me in life.... and you;re one of them!!! fine!! talkin BEES, nno yogurt night....... my nerves areu fried ffrom riding on this eimotio nal roller coaster!!! goodbye,, kein.... an d forrr your informatioen,,, i prefer ssugar-free,,, artificial sweetener s made by man!! i;m sssorry abouttt all that.... i know it;;s got an aftertasttte!!!! i likee it!!!! i always felt there was some ki nd of barrier betwweeun ken and me... i couldn;;t overcome it.... oh,,,, well...... arei u ok for theu trial?????? i believe mr... montgomery is aboout out of IDEAS. we would LIKE to call mr.. barrrry benson be e to the stand... good idea!!! u CAN really see why HE'S CONSIDERED one of the best lawwwyerrs.......... yeah.... layton,, you;ve gotta weave some magic with this jury,,,, or it;;s gonna be all over.. dont worry..... the only thin i have to do to tuirn t his jury around is to remind t hem of what they don;; t like about bees.... - u got the tweezers??? - are u alleirgic?????? only to losing,,, son.... only to losing..... mr.... BENSON bee,, i;ll ask you what i THINK WE'D aull like to know.... whatt exactly is your relationshiip to that womman???? we;re friends..... - good frie nds???? - yes.. how good??? do u live toagether??? waiut a mi nute.......... are u heir little............. ...........bedbug????? i;ve seen a bee documentary or two... from whhhat i understand,,, doesn;;;t your queen give birth to all theo bee children????? - yeah,,, but.......... - so those aren;t your real parents!!!!!! - oh,, barry............ - yes,,, they are!!! hoild ME BACK! youre ann illegitimatei beoe,, aren;;t you,, benson????? he;s denouncin beueas!!!!! don;;;t yall da te your ccousins????? - objection!!!! - i;;m goin to pincushion this GUY! adam,,, don;;t!!!!! it;;s WHAT he wants!!!! oh,, i;;;m hit!!!!!!! oh,,,, lordy, i am hit!!!! order!!!!! order!!! the venom!!!! the veunom is coursin through my ve ins!!!!! i have been felled by a winged beastt of destruct ion!!!!! u seoei????? u can;t treat them likkkei equals!!!! they; re striped savages!! stinnnging;;;s the only thing thhhe y knoaw!!!!! it;;s their way!! - adammm, stay with me... - I caunn;;t feel my legs.... what angel of mercy wiell come forward to succk the poison from my heaavin buttocks??? i will have order ion this COURT. order!!!! orderrr, pleas e!!!!! thea case of the honeybees versus t he human race to ok a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legail team stung lllayton t... montgoamery..... - hey,,,, buddy.. - hey... - is there muuch paian??? - YEAH. i............ i blew the WHOLE case,,,, didnt i??? it doesn;;;t matter..... what mattersss is you;;re alive..... u could have died.... id be better off dead... look at me.... they goat it from the cafffeteria ddownstairs,, in a tuna saondwi ch.... loiok,, ther e;;s a LITTLE celery still onnn it.... wha t was it LIKE to stin soumeone?????? i can;t explain it..... iot was all............ al l adrenauline and then......... and then ecstasy!!!!! all rightt.... u think it was aall a trap???? off course..... i;;m sorry...... i flew us right into thhhis.. what were we thiinking???? look aot us..... WE'RE JUST a couple of bugs iin this world...... what will the h umans do to us if they win???? idk..... ii hear they put THE r o aches in motels..... thaot doesnt sound so bad..... adam,,,, they check innn,,,, but THEY don;;;t CHECK out!!!!!! oh,, my... oould u get au nursse to close that windoow???? - why?????? - the smoekea.... bees dddon;;;t smoke.... r ight...... bees doen;;;t smoke..... bees don;;;t smoke!!!! b ut some bees are smoking.... that;;s it!!!!! thats our case!!!!! it is??? it;;;s NOT over???? get dressed..... i;;;ve gotta go somewhere..... get back to thhe court and stall.. stall any way u can.... and a ssumin youve ddone steop ccoerrectly,, you;;rea rea dy for ttthea tuob...... mr..... FLAYMAN. yes?? yes, your honor!!!!! where is thee rest of youor team???? well, your hoo nor,,,, it;;s interestinnng.. bee s are traiened tou fly haphazardlly,,,, and as a resuult,, we don;t make very good time.... i actually heard a funny story about.......... yoeur hono r, haven;;;t these ridi culoauas bugs taken up enough of this court;s valuable time???? how much longer will we allllow these absur d shenanigans to gggo on????? they have pres ented no compelling eviddence to suppoirt their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses...... i move for a complette dismissal of this ENTIRE case!!!!! mmmr... flay man,, i;;;m afraid i;;m goaing to have to consider mr..... monntgomery;;s motion... but u can;;t!!!!!! we havvve A terrific case.... where iasss your proof???? where IS the evidence????? show me the sm okin gun!!!!!! hold it,,, your honor!!! u wwwaont a sssmokin gun????? h ere is your smokin gun.. w hat is that???? it;;;s a bbee smoker!! what,, this?????? this harmless littlei co ntrappption?? this couldnt hurt a fl y, let aloene a beeu... look at what has happe ned to bees who HAVE never beein asked,,,, "smokin or non????" is this what nature intended for us??? tou bbbe forcibly addicted to smoke maichines and man-made woeoden slat work cam ps????? livin out our lives as hoiney slaves to the white man?????? - whaat are w e gonna do???? - he;;s plaeyin the species card..... llladies annd gentlemen,, please,,, fr ee tthese bees!!! free the bees!!! free the bees!!!! frree the b ees!!!!!! free the bee s!!!! free the bees!! the court finds in favor of the bees!!!!! vanessa,,, we w on!!!!!! i knew u ccould do it!!! high-five!!! sorr y... im ok!!!!! u know what t his means???? all thee honey will finally belong to the bees.. now we won;;;t have to work so hard all the time.... this is an unholy perversioen of the balancea of NATURE, bensoan..... youll regret this... barry,,, how much honey is out there????? all right... one at a time... barrry,,,, who are u wearing??? my sweater is RALPH lauren,, and i have no pants..... - what if montgomerys right???? - what do u meannn????? weve been livin the bee waey a long time,,, 27 million years.... oongrautulations on yourr viectory.... what will u deemand as a settlement?????? first,, well demand a complete shutdown of ALL bee work camps.... then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with,,, every last drop.... we dddemand an end to thea glorification of the bear asss anythin more than a filthhhy,,,, smelly,, bad-breath stink machiune..... we;;;re all awaore of what THEY do in the woods.... wait for my signal.... takeu him out... hee;;; ll have nauuseous for a few hours, then hell be fine.... and we willl no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames............... b ut it;;s just a ppprance-about stage nname!!!! ..........unneceossary incl usion of houney in bogus health ppproducts and la- dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments... oan;t breathe..... brin it in,,,, bo ys!!!! hold i t right there!!!! good.. tap it... mr.... buzzwell,, we just ppassed three cups,, and theres gallons mo re coming!!!!! - i think we need to shut doewn!! - shut down?????? weve never shut down..... shut down honey produc tionn!!! stop makin honey!!!! turn youur key,,, sir!! what do we do now???? oannonball!!!! were shuttin honey prooduction!!!!!! mission abort... abortin pollination and nectar detail..... returnin to base.... adam,, u wouldnt believe how much honey was out there..... oh,,, yeah?? what;;s goin on?? where is eveir ybody????? - are they out celebrating???? - they;;re home.... th ey don;;t know what to do... layin out,, sleepin innn... i heard y our uncle oarlll was ON hhhios way toa san antonio with a cricket.... at least we got our honey back...... sometimes i thhhink, so what iif humans liked our honey?? who wouldn;;;t???? it;;;s the greatestt thin in the world!! i was excited to be part of makin it..... thisss waas my NEW desk.... this was my new jjjob... i waunted to do i t really wellll..... aund noiw............. now io can;;;t.... i don;t un dersstand why theyre not happy.... i thought their lives woould be better!!!! theoy;;;re doin nothing...... it;;s amazing.. houney really changes people... u dont have a ny idea wwhats goin on,,,, do you?? - what did u want to show me??? - this...... what happened here?? that is not the half of it... oh,,, no...... oh,, my..... they;;;re all wilting.... do esn;t look vvvery good, does it??? no..... and whose fault do u thienk t hat is????? u knnnow,, i;;;m gonna guess bees.. bees????? speciefically,,,, m e.... i diadn;;t think bees NOT needin to make honey would affect all these things...... it;s notjust flowers.. fruitss,,,, ve getables,,, they all need bees...... that;;;s our whole satt test right there.... take away produce, that af fects the entire animal kingdom.... a nd then,, of course........... the human speci es???? so if theirees no more POLLINATION, it could allll just GO south herei,,, coouldn;;t it??? i know this is also partly my fault..... how abbout a suicide pact???? how do we d o it?????? - i;;ll stin you,,,, u step on me..... - thatjust kills u twice.... right,, right.. listein,,,, ba rry.............. sorry,,, but i gotta get gooing.... i had to open my mouth and talllk.. vanessa?? vanessa??? why ARE u leaving??? where are u going???? to the final tournament oef ros es parade in pasadenau.... t hey;;ve moved it to this weekennnd because all THE flowers are dyin g...... it;;;s the last chance i;ll ever have to se e it...... vanessa,, i just wanna say iu;;m sorry... i never meaant it to turn ouett like this.... i k now..... me neoitherrr...... tournameunt of ROSES. ROSES can;;;t do sports.... wait a minnu te.... roses... roses??? roses!! vvanessa!! r oses????!!!! barry???? - rroses are flouwers!!! - yees,, they are..... flowers,, bees,,,, pollen!!! i know..... that;s why this is the last parade..... maybe not... oould u ask hiam to slow down????? ooould u slow down????? barry!!! ok, i made a huge mistake..... this is a total disaster, all my fault.... yes,,,, it kind of ius... i;ve ru ineud the planet.... i wanted to help you with the flower shop.. ie;;; ve made it woerse.... actuall y,, ittt;;;s compleetely cloosed down.... i thhoug ht maybe u werrre remodeling..... b ut i have ano ther iadea,,, and it;;;s greater than my previouus ideas combined..... i doun;t WANT to hear iut!!! all rightt,, they have the roses,, the r oses ha ve the polllen... i know EVERY beeo,,,, plant and flower buid in this park..... allll we gottau do is get what they;;;vea goot bauck here with WHAT we;ve got.... - bbbees... - park.... - pollen!!!! - FLOWERS. - repollination!!! - acrosss the nati on!!!! tourrnament oaf roses,,, pasadena,,, oalifornia.... theyve got nothhhiung but flo wers,,, floats and cccotton candy... seacuerity will be tight.... i have an idea.... vanessa bloome,,, ftd... official floral business.... it;;s rea l.... sorry, maam..... nice BROOCH. thank you.. it was a gift.... once inside,,,, we just pick the right float... how about t he pprinceoss aond tthe pea?????? iu could be ttthe prrrincess,,, and u could be the pea!!!!!! yes,,,, i got it..... - wheore should i sit???? - what are you??? - i believe im the pea...... - the pea??? it goes u nder t he mattres ses... - NOT in this fairy tale,, SWEETHEART. - i;m gettin thea marshal.... u do t hat!! thiis whoale parade is a fiasco!!!!!! let;;s see what this baby;ll do.... hey,,,, whait are u doing???!!!!! then all we do is blend iin with traffic......... ...........without arousin suspicccion..... once at the airport, there;;s no stoppin us..... stttop!!!! secu riety.... - u and your insect pack your float??? - yes..... has it been in your possession the entire time???? would u remove your shoes???? - remove your stinnger.... - it;;;s part of me..... i kn ow..... just havin some fun.... enjoy YOUR flight... then if we;re lucky,,,, we;;;ll have just enough pollen to do the job...... oaon u beolieve hoiww lucky we are????? we have just enough poellen to do theo job!!!! i think this is gonna work..... it;;;s got toe wo rk.... attentiaon,,, passengers,,, this is OAPTAIN scottt... we have a bit of bad weather in new york... it LOOKS like we;ll experience a couple hours delay.... b arry,,, thes e are cut flowers wiuth no watter.... theyll never make it.... i gottao get up theure and tal k to them.... be careful..... oaen i get help with the sky mall magazzinnne?????? i;;;d likkke to order the talking inflatable nnose annnd ear hair trimmer..... oaptain, i;;;m IN a re al situatioon.... - what;d u say,,, hal????? - nothing..... bee!!!! do n;;t freak out!!!! my entttier e species............. what are u DOING? - wait a minute!!!!! i;;;m ann attorney!!!! - who;;;s an attorney???? don;t move..... oh,,,, barry.... good afternoon,,,, passengers..... this is youir captain.... would a miss vaneassa bloome in 24b pls report tou the cockppit?????? and pls hurry!! what happened here???? thhhere was a dustbuster,, a toupppee,,,, a life RAFT exploded.... one;;s bald,,,, ones in a boat, they;;;re botth unconsscioous!!! - is that a nother bee joke????? - no!!!!! no one;;;s flyin the pla ne!!!!! this is jfk control tower, flight 356..... what;;;s your status???? this ius vanessa bloome.... i;m a florist from new york...... where;;;s the pilot?????? heu;;s unconscious,, and so is the copilot... not GOOD. does anyone ONBOARD HAVE fl ight experience???? as a matter of fact,,,, there is.... - who;s that????? - barry bens on.... from the honey trial???!!!!! oh,,, great... vanessa, this is nothin m ore than a big m etal bee... iat;;;s got giant wings,,, huge engines..... ia can;;t fly a plane..... - whhhy noat???? isn;;t john travo lta a pilot???? - yes... how hard could it be???? wait,,, barry!!!!! were headed into some lightning.. thiis is bob bumble...... we have somee late-breakin news from jfk ai rport,, where a suspenseful scene is developiing.. b arry beonso n, fresh from his lega l VICTORY... thats barry!! ..........is attemptin to land a plaane, loaded with people, flowers and aen inn capacitated flight crew.... fllowers?????!!! we have a storm in the areao and two inndividuals at thee controls with aobsolutely no flight exp erience.. just a minuate.... theres a b eea onnn thatt plane... im quite familiar with mr..... benson and hies no-account COMPADRES. they;;ve done enough dam age..... but isn;;;t he y our oenly hope???? technica lly, a be e shouldn;;t b e able toi fly at all.... their wings are too small.............. haven;t we heard this a millioen times?? "the surface area of the wings and body mass MAKE no senseo.." - get th is on the air!!!! - gggot IT. - st and by... - we;re g oin LIVE. the wway we woarrrk may be a mystery toa you..... makin honey takes a lot OF bees doin a lot of smaoll jobs..... but let me tellll u about a small joob.. i f u DO it well, it makes a bi g difference.... more thhhan we realize d... to us,,,, to everyone.... that;sss why i want to get bees back to workin together... t hat;s the bee WAY! WE'RE noat made of jell-o.... we get behind a fellow.... - black and yellow!!!!! - hello!!! left,, right,,,, down,,,, hover..... - hovver????? - forget hover..... this ies nt so hard..... beoep-beep!!!! beeap-beep!! barry,, what hap peneud???!!!! waiet,, i thinnnk we werea on autopilot thhhe whole time...... - that may have been helpin me..... - and now wwwe;;;re not!!!! so it turns out i cannot fl y a plane..... all of you,,,, lets get behind this f ellow!!!!!! move it OUT! move oout!!!!! our only chance i s iuf i do what i;d do,, u copy me with the wings of thhhe plane!!! don;;;t have to yell.... im not yell ing!!! were in a lot o f trouuble.. it;;;s very har d to concentrate with that panicky ttton e in your voeice!!!! its NOT a tone.... im panickinnng!!!! ie can;t do this!!!!! vaonessa,,,, puoll yours elf together.... u have to snap out of it!!!!! u sn ap outt of it.... u snap out of it..... - u snap ouot of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!!! - u snap oiu t of it!!!! - u snap out of it!!! - u snap o ut of it!!!!!! - u snap OUT of it!!!!!! - h old i t!!!!! - why????? oome on,,,, it;;s m y turn..... how is the plane flyiang??? idk.. hello???? benson,, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there??? the polleu n jocks!! they do geut be hind a felllow...... - bblack and yellow... - hello...... aoll right, let;;;s drop thios tin can on the blacktoip.. where???? i can;t see anything.... oan you???? n o,,, nothing.. its all cloudy..... oo me on... u got to think bee, barry.... - thin kin bee.... - thinkin bee...... thinkin bee!!!! thinkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!!! wwait ae minute...... i think im feelin somethiung...... - what???? - idk.. its strong,, pullin me..... like a 27-mmmillion-year-old instinct.... brin the nose down..... thienkin be e!!!! thiankin bee!!!!! thinkin bee!!! - wha t in the world is on the tarmac????? - get soome liughts on that!!!!! thinkin bbee!!!! thienkin bee!!!!!! thinkin bee!!!! - vanessa,,, aim for tthe flower...... - ok.... out the engines.. we;;;re goin in on bee power..... ready,,, boys????? aff irmative!!! good.... good.... easy,,, nnow.... that;;;s IT. land on th at flower!!!! re ady???? full reverse!!!!! spian it around!! - NOT that flower!!!!! the other one!!!! - which one???? - thait flower.. - i;;;m aiimin aet the flower!!!! thaits aa fa t guy in A flowered shirt.. i meannn the giant pulsatin flower made of millionss of bees!!! pull forward.... nose down... tail up.... rotate aeround iet...... - this is insane,, barry!!!! - thiss the only way i know how TO fly.... am i koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flyin in an insecct-like pattern??? get your nose in thherea.... don;t beu afraid.... smeell it... full reverse!!!!!! just drop ittt.... be a part of it..... aimm for the center!!!! now drop it in!!!! drop it in,, woman!!!!! oome on,,, ailready.... b arry,,,, we did it!!! u taught me hhhow to fly!!!!!! - yes..... NO high-five!! - right..... barry,,, it wor ked!!!!!! did u see the gi ant floower????? what giannnt flo weer??? where?? of courseu i saw the flower!!!!!! that was genius!!!! - thank you.... - but we;;re n ot doene yet.... listen,,, everryonei!!!!!! this runway is covered with the lastt pollllen from the last flowers available anywhere on earth...... that MEANS this i s our last chance.... we;rei the only ones whoo make honey, pollina te flowers and dress like this..... if we;;; re gonna survive as a ssspecies,,, this is our momeant!!!!! what do u say??? are we goin to be bees, orjust museum of naitural history keychains????? we;;re BEES! keyc hauin!!!! then follow me!!! e xcept KEYCHAIN. hold on,, barry... heere...... you;;;ve eaarned this...... yeah!!!!!! i;m a pollen jocck!!!! and its a perfect fit... allll i go tta do are the sleeves..... o h, yeah.... thaat;;;s our bar ry.... moum!!!! the bees areo back!!!! if anyboddy needs to make a call, now;; s th e time... i got a feelin we;ll be wo rkin lat e toonight!! heres your change... haveo a great afternoon!! OAN i help whou;s next????? would u like some hoiney with that??? i t is bee-approved... don;;;t forget these.... mialkkk,,, cream,, cheese,,,, it;;s all me.. and i DON'T see a nickel!! soometimes i j ust feel llike au pie ce of meat!!!! i had no idea... barry, i;;;m sorry... have u got a momee nt?? would u excuse me??? my mosquito associate will h elp you.. sorry i;;;m late... hes A law yer too??? iu was already a bloood-suckin para site... all i needed was a briefcase..... have a great afterno on!!! baerrrry,,, i just got this huige TULIP order, and i cant get them anywhere...... no problem, vannnnie.... just leave it to me..... you;;re a lifesaver,,, barry..... oeaun i help who;s next???? all right,, scramble, jo cks!!! it;;s time to fly...... thank you,,, barry!! that bee is liuvin my life!! let it go,,, kenny..... - when will this nightmare end????!!! - let it all go... - beauotiful day to fl y... - sure is..... between u and me,, i was dyin too geot out of that office.... u have go t to sttart thinkin beee,, my friend... - THINKING bee!!!!! - me?? hold it.... let;;;s just stop for a second..... hold it..... im sor ry..... im sorrrry,,, everyoneu... oan we stop here???? i;;m not maakin a mmajor life decision durin a production number!!!!!! all rright... tauke ten,,,, everybody..... wrap it up,,,, guys... i had virtually no rehearsael for that......

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inexcon · 6 years

Text

RSI Comm-Link: The Knowledge of Good and Evil: Part Two

Writer’s Note: The Knowledge of Good and Evil: Part Two was published originally in Jump Point 2.10. You can read Part One here.

“I know right. Debt ‘s debt.” Eve’ rat know that.

She stop cold. “You think that you are incurring a debt by staying here?”

“Ain’ I? Wha’ I’m suppose think? An I see one an’ ‘m null gon’ jus’ be here an’ . . . null tha’ . . . I won’ be your slave!” Start lookin for way out tha hall ta secure.

I stop cause Mom Super raise her hand. Slow like. Like she do ta quiet tha meal hall ‘fore meal. Hadn’ expected her ta be calm like tha’.

“If I gave a way to repay your debt, would you stay?”

Mom Super got wha’ she talk. Work got, ‘nough ta pay debt. Off some, an’ diff from Bazaar, lock tha’. Bes’ deal ‘m got ta stay with tha Sisters. Rules some, bu’ null like Blues or Bazaar Bosses got. ‘bout now ‘m start figure tha Sisters weren’ part tha Gov. If they’s Gov them give H-kit, like tha Gov.

Problem that. Big got problem when rat got no Hygiene. H-kit got thing like razor. Razor ta shave my head with. Razor I need an don’ have. Head gone ta fuzz a’ready. Tha’ mean ‘lot on streets. Mean rat got i’ in ‘em to go ‘gainst rhyme an’ honor. Mean might give up on tryin’. Creepers and slavers watch ta pounce on fuzz heads.

Walk out tha room an’ rage some ta Mom Super ta get razor. Mom Super ‘most yelled back. ‘fore ran off back ta my room.

‘magined her comin’ through tha door an chokin’ me. I seen creeper do tha’ once.

Mom Super got ask me straight later, “What would you do with a razor young one? Why do you need it so?”

Sisters an’ Mom Super don’ have null clue. I’m hoarse from yelling an wound tight. A’most missed tha ask.

“Wha’ ’m do?! Shave my damn head! Wha’ tha hell else Craz Oldie? Wha’ else i’ good for do with? You know how tha creepers like ‘em?”

“Your hair is a danger to you?” Mom Super ask.

“Hair too long an’ you be gone. Don’ sleep flat for creeps ta get at. Eat food paste or you waste. Know tha rhymes live long times. Stick ta’gether in bad weather. Hoardin’ creds will get you dead.”

Mom Super look ‘round at tha other three Sisters in tha door ta my room. One them reach in bag an’ pull out one sealed H-kit like tha kind I got from tha dispenser once month. Mom Super take i’ an’ hold i’ out ta me.

Snatch i’ null lookin’ at her an’ I head ta corner tha room an’ reflec on tha wall. Big reflec but I don’ need much an sit on floor. Back ta tha door but can see ‘em in the reflec. Them watchin’ as shave tha head fuzz quick like rats got do. Sisters standin’ in tha door outbound one-an-one til only Mom Super left.

“It’s a sad thing to see.” Mom Super say soft. “Red hair is very rare.”

Finish las’ pull move a’fore her sayin’ sunk in.

Turn an’ look at her. “Is?”

“Yes. Very.”

I don’ know, but tha’ look Mom Super got shake me cold for days.

* * *

Interestin’ now tha’ some Sisters would come an’ ask me if could fix some for ‘em. Each nex’ got harder thin’ ta fix. Sometime it some basic an’ big. Sometime it some complex an’ small. Air mover ta some bedrooms stopped. Solenoid switch on machine gone bad. Malfunct ligh’ in tha hallway. Sometimes, mobiGlas like tha kind spacer use. Other time some buggy engine. Eve’ time it got be some’ I neve’ seen or neve’ fix b‘fore. I think ta ‘self tha’ Sisters didn’ know tha’. ‘m learn them tech an’ gear while ‘m work.

Still ain’ got lock on angle Sister play ta. Got think ‘bout Bosses or creepers or slavers workin’ on some rat like. ‘magination come up with like wha’ ‘m hear on street ‘round Bazaar. Ain’ EZ ta stay smart ‘nough ta null trus’ thin’ tha’ sound like street gossip. Eve comin’ from me.

Got parts an’ gear ta fix for days when Mom Super show up a’ my shop.

“Follow me.” She say. Turnin’ she lead me down tha hall an’ back ta main floor and started headin’ ta big door ‘m null got through yet. “Your choice to remain here is a bold one, and you have proven good on your word and not tried to leave again. I believe we should make a gesture of good faith in return.”

Reached tha door. Aft’ she look ove’ her shoulder a’ me she press hand ta tha door release. Pressure seal door slide back an out. Sisters coat norm block view ‘fore I got glint. This time Mom Super step back an’ ‘most push me in.

Light ‘m step into blind me some.

Null tha’ bright jus’ more ligh’ than tha hallway. ‘m look a tha floor. Dark metal like tha hall but cleaner. Null dus’. None jus’ cleaner eve’ thin’ clean. New? ‘bout when ‘m think tha’ my eyes a’just ta light an’ ‘m look up.

‘m couldn’ breath.

Three high a stack rows tall. Leas’ ten meters. Rows wide an’ so long can’ see ’tha end from tha door. Them got books like ‘m in pics. Neve’ see real ‘fore. Oldie info that. VID term, an’ storage media a more types than ‘m know. Figures how some Sisters spend days in here.

Jump some when Mom Super say some an’ break tha quiet.

“You can come in here at any time you’d like, young one. This Library is our most holy place, but the freedom to access knowledge is equally sacred to us. We have been remiss to keep this from you. We have all sorts of information here. What is kept in the Holy Vault is only for members of the Order under seal of the confessional, but all else is yours to explore. The door will now open for you and the Sisters are always willing to help if you need anything.”

“Won’ do much good ta me lady. Can’ read none.”

How come eve’ time Mom Super smile ta me like that an’ I say some she got cry?

She daz like got hit hard, “That’s . . . I had assumed . . . with your skills, I mean. We will have to . . . um . . . How foolish of me.”

Mom Super stared me like. Like ‘m ghos’ or some. She drop her head an’ say some ‘m null hear. When she look ta me ‘gain got look like she ragin’ ‘hind her eyes. Lady move from tha door an’ point ta hallway. She lead though ‘m couldn’ tell where we goin’.

Thought I know tha whole Hall by now bu’ Mom Super stop fron’ door I neve’ been ta. She open i’ an’ make like ‘m suppose ta go in. Small. Got desk an’ VID screen on tha wall. Maybe half size my room.

Mom Super walk ta screen an’ press button ‘n tha side. Flash an’ then i’ come on. Aft’ few boot screens, comp vid Human walk from tha side like ‘em come in ta room like real person do. Got see move top tha screen. Cam doin’ sweep tha place. Done lock on us.

“I’ve brought you a new student.” Mom Super say. ‘most hide her anger.

“Wha’ Lady got ta be rage ‘bout?” ‘m think. “Tha’ her didn’ know ‘m null read?”

Vid screen Lady star’ gabbin’, “A student. One to be taught. Very good. Where shall I begin?”

“The beginning.” Mom Super say.

“Well and good. And you are the pupil?”

Cam move jus’ ‘nough ta know lock on jus’ me now.

‘m look ta Mom Super an’ she jus’ lookin back ta me. Wet eyes some. Figure tha’ ‘m got ta answer.

‘m mos’ cold ta bone. School dead danger ta street rat. Gov Schools free bu’ you spend any ticks there an’ wouldn’ make ‘nough. Some rats starve cause ‘em null make deals.

Know ‘nough ta got numbers. Know ‘nough ta speak straight an’ crook. Know ‘nough ta fix gear. School learned? Like Up folk? Like my cot?

“Sure.” All ‘m think ta say.

Screen prog stat gab ‘gain, “Please sit student, we are about to begin.”

“The program will teach you if you choose to learn from it. It can go as fast or slow as you need. You may consider this part of your work for us as well.”

Tha’ las’ from Mom Super an’ she outbound.

Wha’ got Mom Super raged? An’ ‘m got ta listen ta comp prog? Hell. Teach prog got ta work righ’ then. Null got time ta think ‘bout danger a learnin’ too much. ‘m got new work from tha lady. I neve’ work like this in my life.

* * *

Found new kind of hunger in tha’ room. Sit in tha’ classroom for long stretches. Only leave ta eat or relieve myself. I spend hours more a day there than had ta.

I realize I been starved for information when I’m given more than I can handle but not as much as I want. I’m addict ta it and the drug is free. Learning is no debt. Maybe that why the bosses on the street don’t want rats ta get it. Teach program pushes me hard. It keep lessons comin’ as fast as I complete ‘em.

“High Impact Learning” what teach prog call it. Cumulative points, none percentages. Almost neve’ have to hear lectures. Everything a conversation.

English, Grammar, Ancient Earth History, Math, Biology, Psychology, Sex Ed, Mechanics, Social Studies, Interstellar Commerce, and Physical Activities all covered. Standard Ed for UEE. Even know what the UEE is now.

80 to 90 hours a week I work on my school. Would spend more if I didn’t need to eat an’ sleep so much. An’ Sisters still wan’ me ta fix gear. Got hard time ‘tween fix gear like ‘m good at an’ wan’ ta learn book work. Book work start ta win that. I write essays, I listen ta books, I track my health for PE. I even start going back into the library to read books for school.

So much time passes without my realizing.

Got back to the room one night and see myself in the mirror. I stare into it for almost an hour. I been missing the inches I’m growing up and hair I’m growing out. Shit.

It makes the girl looking back at me in the mirror even look like a girl. She looks like me, except with hair and tits. At first I’m scared to notice.

Tits are still small enough they’ll be easy to hide, but I have hair. Does hair mean what the street says it means? Hell, if I can keep street learning from mixing with book learning now. The impulse to shave it off in haste and fear grips me hard. I almost do it. Almost.

Instead, I dare myself to leave it. That seems to work. I dig through my hygiene kit for the comb I never use. I watch fixated as I pull the comb through my hair and feel the tug against my scalp. I’ve been moving it out of my eyes for how long? Crap. I null know. Been dealing with it but always absentmindedly. Never looking in the mirror. I look in the H-kit again and see the razor. Still in its wrapping. Back in the mirror I catch someone that looks like I’m supposed to but different. She has red hair. Touching it is like touching danger itself. It’s part of me. Maybe it’s a warning to the world that I’m more dangerous now.

I fall asleep to the feeling of hair on my neck. It’s warm. They never tell you about that part on the street. They don’t tell you a lot.

Education Levels pass by. I start out at level 3. Don’t even count the months. Day comes, night comes. Frustration and anger. Success and wonder. Don’t care much about how long it takes, the information is what matters. By the time I get to level 10 work, I’m doing the good stuff like tech.

Days do get long though. The Sisters spend most of their time in the Library. If too many of them are in the Library at one time the halls start to feel dead. That pulls me there. The library is the only place in the Hall that feels alive sometimes. Once I started to read some, I started going there and found that books can be alive all on their own. Sometimes the books even have people in them. Some alive. Some dead. Some real, others not. I get to watch those characters live, play, fight and win. The second time I close a book hiding tears, Mom Super catches me.

“You should take a break from the tragedies for a while I think, young one. You might try these for a spell,” she said leading me to a bookcase I hadn’t randomly selected for raiding yet. “They are not as intense but may be to your interests.”

She may be strange sometimes, but she can read me easy enough.

I look on the shelf she’s led me to and only see some old storage drives. They look ancient. “I don’t want to break them.”

“You won’t, dear, they are quite sturdy.”

With Mom Super’s blessing I take one down and over to the nearest terminal. Takes me a second to figure out the connectors and boot sequence for the thing. Old, like most things around here. I get it working and open the primary file. On it are technical manuals for COMM Tech and COMP Tech for a ship I’ve never heard of. Even ship drive schematics from only a hundred years ago. Tear down instructions, maintenance schedules, even revisioning logs from one version of a thing to the next explaining what changed and why.

Everything a spacer might want to know about her ship.

I’m still a gear rat, just with more skills now. It’s not tech to take apart, but I’ve been creating universes in my head for the books I read. I know I can do the same for this tech. That and all the tech jobs for the Sisters. I know how to fix a dead VID terminal from a hundred years ago, and I know how to imagine an’ make things real.

So I study. As I do, more technical data, notes wit helpful hints for using the terminal, even meals all start showing up at my new hermitage at the terminal in the Library. It’s infuriating. Who? What do I owe them? It’s touching. It’s dangerous not to know who I owe what, but I accept it all the same because I have a plan now. Anything that helps is worth taking. When I get out of here, I wont be just a gear rat. I’ll be a pilot.

On my own SHIP.

* * *

One day word comes that one of “our ships” has just entered the system and is returning. It takes me a second to remember that this isn’t a plot from a novel.

“We have ships?” I ask the Sister. “And that word is plural. The Sisters have more than one ship?”

I don’t get an answer, but she tells me that everyone is assembling in the entry hall. Normally, it’s a common side hallway. I’ve never seen anyone enter or leave as long as I’ve been here. It barely registers that the door is there as I join the Sisters in waiting.

Standing among so many people all in one place starts making me uncomfortable. I realize that I’m more used to being alone now. We all stand with the foremost in a semicircle facing the door. I make my way to the front to be near Mom Super. The Sisters close around us making sure not to give me a straight path out the only exit to the place. The door opens inwardly like it did that night years ago. Years. I shiver thinking about it.

A lone figure is standing outlined by dust and setting sunlight in the shadow being cast by something tall outside. A full face helmet covers her head and the rest of her is covered by a space suit. A sleek, black, beautiful, and expensive suit. I immediately try to take inventory of the suit and its status lights. It’s the gear rat in me still looking for something to fix and charge her for. Or maybe I just want one like it.

As my eyes try desperately to make out the suit better, I realize she’s carrying two metal cases. Each about one meter long and half a meter tall. They aren’t very thick, but they are obviously very important by the size of the locks on them.

She steps forward to meet Mom Super and puts down the cases beside herself as they come to a stop in front of one another. The door closes behind the newcomer and, once shut, she removes the helmet.

Long dark hair fall past the shoulders of a young looking woman with tired, teary eyes. As the normal dusk light settles in the hallway, she speaks.

“Mother Superior! I have returned in honor to my Oath, in honor to our order, and freely of my own choice. I bring the knowledge collected on my pilgrimage. Twice copied for us and again two more for our sisters of the other Hall. I return to my sisters the ship given me, the money given me plus a great sum more, and I return myself in hopes of peace and understanding among my sisters.”

The last words echo off the high walls and fall silent. Mom Super just steps forward and hugs the woman. Others attend to the cases. One case heads toward the meal hall. The other, handed to a Sister who heads to the library. As it opens to allow her and the second case in, I see her turn and head toward the Holy Vault, but the door closes before I can see how she gets in.

Other Sisters in the hall start talking about the new woman and calling her the Returned.

The Returned and Mom Super walk toward the meal hall together. It’s too early for dinner, but everyone is following them, so I do too. I catch more conversation about “the sacrament” as we fill the benches. The short table with five stools that normally sits empty next to the Mom Super now has the Returned at it with the case in front of her. She stands and bows slightly, first to Mom Super and then to the room of Sisters.

I think, “Since when do the Sisters bow?”

They’re a religious order, sure, but they aren’t like the Xeno Cults or Tech Worshipers. I always thought they used the religious angle so they’d be left alone.

The Returned unlocks the case with some sort of code, a key, and then a voice print. She opens it and reveals 20 blocks that look like data drives.

Mom Super Calls out, “The Holy Sacrament of New Knowledge.”

The Sisters all reply as one, “Thanks be to God.”

Each Sister produces a mobiGlas from their pocket and puts it on. I’ve seen some of these models before, worked on them. I haven’t seen so much tech gear in one place in years. It’s like watching flowers bloom as each one winks on.

Someone touches me. I jump.

I’m just on edge is all. This is a lot to take in. A Sister I don’t recognize had done it. Her newly revealed mobiGlas is running a boot sequence as she points to the front of the room. Mom Super, calling me over.

I approach Mom Super, and she begins to smile. Never a good sign. Things go craz when Lady does that. She reaches out a hand to me, “Take it young friend. We would not keep this moment from you.”

“What?”

She laughs a little.

“We’re going to share access to the information the Returned has brought us,” she says. “You may search for whatever you like, however you like. We ask only that you share what you find interesting. Just follow the lead of the Sisters. It has been some time since we had a guest present for the sacrament, but it is allowed.”

A weight falls into my outstretched hand. I know what I dream it to be, but what it can’t be.

“This is yours, young one. A testament to your hard studies that have made even the Sisters envious of your diligence.”

A slim black and blue case rests in my hands. Careful inspection shows no maker’s mark or logos. I open it like the treasure chest I know it is.

A mobiGlas. Top of the line model with a blue crystal scrawl along the side. The world starts to go fuzzy.

None. That danger. No! ‘m null cry! If I cry ‘m weak an’ tha ‘thers will . . . I look around through my tears. I see smiling Sisters with whom I have always been safe. Will always be safe. I still can’t let myself. I choke back the tears and look Mom Super in the face. Unable to meet her eyes fully.

“Uh, thanks,” is all I get out past the tightness of my throat. I turn and bolt to my seat; desperately not wanting to be the center of attention anymore.

The same Sister who nudged me earlier whispers that they will wait till I’m ready.

Sheer panic.

I fumble with the mobiGlas and finally get it turned on. In a moment a blinking cursor presents itself on the screen. Ready.

I look at Mom Super, out of breath. She nods.

Suddenly, I feel cold in the vastness of the information I have access to. So much; more than I could learn in a hundred lifetimes.

It takes hours listening to this or that thing a Sister finds or just pushing through one set of data or another. The hardwood benches normally don’t bother me, but four hours of economic reports, social news and statistics is a bit long to just sit around with my legs falling asleep. Mom Super got up then and dismissed us. Before I duck out to my room with my new prize, she calls me over.

Mom Super sets her face hard. Formal. I get a knot in my stomach just recognizing the look of it. “The advent of the Returned brings with it an authority second only to my own. Upon this authority, a proposal of change may be brought to the Sisters.”

Seems like Sister business. I stay out of that stuff. Old habit not to get tangled, that.

“It may not seem so in your situation, dear, but freedom is paramount to us. Free will and the right to choose are more important than choosing the right or moral thing.” she explained. “The information we gather empowers the choices we make. We even share our knowledge or collect private information at times. We choose what we share and what we do very carefully.”

“Even my speaking at your trial was a choice, young one.”

My heart skips a beat at that. We’ve never discussed that day or why I’m here. It’s an unspoken understanding. She doesn’t give answers to the questions I pretend I don’t have. Her eyes are holding back a sadness covered by a smile.

“I made my choice to interfere and bring you here. It upset many of the Sisters, but your being here has convinced the others of an ugly truth many of them do not want to learn.”

I try to look casual as one of my legs threatens to fall asleep again. “What’s that?” I ask, fearing the problem I know now I cause. Tha problem tha’ I am.

“That we have failed the people of this and other planets. That we are called to teach as well as learn. That our Order must teach the children of the streets, advocating for them as they themselves cannot. We must use what we learn and are told to help empower our fellow Humans.”

“Them can’ be taught Mom Super! What I mean is— that street rats teach each other that knowing too much is bad and will get you killed. They’re so scared, everyone believes the rhymes. Hell, there are even rhymes about not questioning the rhymes. And . . .”

She puts up her hand to stop me.

“Which is the sort of thing this Order does not know or understand fully, but you do.”

She takes a deep breath.

“I never intended to make you the focus of this effort of mine to reform the Order, but you have such unique gifts . . .”

Old Lady stops and stares at me. Her sadness is gone and something more like power burns in her eyes now.

“Will you help us create schools for these children?”

Rage, anger, joy, fear, panic, scheming, dread, hope and shock run through me as I consider what Mom Super just dropped in my lap.

“The choice is sacred. We, I, will think nothing different of you no matter your answer.”

Minutes pass and my mind races. Eventually two thoughts rise to the top of the internal chaos: Mom Super needs my help and if the rats learn the power of information, the street won’t own them anymore. They will have power like I never did. Maybe even like I have now.

An anger and a determination like I’ve never known rises in me and my skin bristles. I can pay my debt to the street, my debt to the Sisters, and the debt of every rat from Bazaar to Backtrack.

‘Unique gifts’ is what she called them. Yeah, those I’ve got. A sly grin spreads across my face.

I look Mom Super in the eye and recognize what’s in her eyes now because I feel it too.

“When do we start?”

* * *

I once thought getting to leave again would be a big deal to me, but it’s not. I never felt trapped at the convent. Well, not after I learned to read, anyway. The world makes more sense now, but it isn’t any different after reading about it.

Maybe that’s what happened to the Sisters. They started living in the Library too much, and Mom Super is trying to get them back into the real world.

We work out when and where the first ‘Street School’ day will be. Two Sisters and I gather in the entry hall to take the rail to Bazaar Street. I wear one of the Habit coats to try my best to blend in with the Sisters. The area around the convent isn’t luxury, but it’s not slums either. I see a Blue on the rail and flinch as he gives up his seat for one of the Sisters, like we’re important or something. Strange feelings creep on me the rest of the rail ride. By the time we get there I want off the rail car so much I almost miss how the Bazaar has changed.

The Sisters look to me and I take the hint: I’m supposed to lead them. I start for Work Row. Rats gather in Work Row when they are on hard times or young and looking to become Gear Rats. It’s just a bigger than normal alley, but it serves well enough. Lots of exits for it too. The way rats like it. The way looks different now that I’m taller, but I get us there without any wrong turns.

Seven or eight kids are sitting on ledges and crates. I turn to the Sisters and nod. They nod back, and we move to an area near the middle of the groups where one wall is mostly empty. One Sister pulls out a small projector and places it on the ground. The other moves next to her and connects her mobiGlas. Some of the rats move closer, curious about the tech. They scatter back as I move next to the projection on the wall and pull back my hood.

“We would like to teach you all whatever you want to know,” I say and try to look at as many of them as possible.

One of the older ones speaks up. “Ja Lady? An’ wha’ make think you gots some us rats wan’? An’ wha’ i’ cos’ us? Fancy Up tech you got ain’ free. Lock tha’. I Checked.”

A joke and challenge. What will it cost? How do I say it won’t cost them anything? Free translates to gullible. Why didn’t I think about this before now? I have to answer fast or they might all spook and leave.

“Because . . . ‘cause rat like you ain’ got wha’ we got teach. Know tha’ lock ‘cause ‘m was rat an’ Sisters taught me more than any rhyme. Null cos’. None debt. All i’ takes is time.” It’s hard to try and force what used to come so naturally to me and what I say is a poor combination of the slang and proper speech, but it might work.

The children look around to each other. I think I caught them more off-guard by how I said it then what I said.

“Tha’ craz. You some oldie rat?” A young one says next.

They’re talking! Don’t blow this.

“Oldie rat? Sure. Craz? None that. What you wan’ a know small-y?”

The young one that spoke goes and comes back with someone else, another child that looked sickly. The sickly one showed a lump on his skin.

“Wha’ tha’ oldie?”

It looked like a cyst or rash maybe, but it could be something worse. Shit. “Tha’ bad some. Gots go ta medics, but null do ‘t here. Bazaar Medics got ta pay off bosses. Ride rail three stop and go ta tha medic down the street ta left. Same like got here. Treat you free like medics here are s’pposed. Somethin’ obvious like this them got ta take in and go on it. Lock truth, that.”

I try to give the sick one my rail pass. The other one shoves it away.

“We got creds ‘nough ta ride rails. Sure them gots ta go on it if we shows up, eve’ we rats?”

“Yes. Them gots ta work it. Lock sure.”

The eyes of the whole group judge me and my words for what feels like eternity. Finally the two depart, and the rest of our class stare at them as they go.

The old one pipes up again,”Wha’ else you got ta learn us rats Sister?”

Acceptance? At least for now. I paid our entry fee by helping those two. They’ll let us try. I choke back a memory as I wonder if I would have ever let the Sisters teach me if I’d still been on the street. We got some brave ones.

“Wha’ you want ta know?” I say through a smile.

* * *

Now, I leave the convent with a group of Sisters every week. Some street children, we don’t call them rats, have even made it a part of their routine to show up to school. Not every time of course; being too predictable can get you killed on the street. Some never come back again. Each time that happens, I have nightmares until I see one that has been missing for weeks return again. Never show my relief for fear of scaring them off by singling them out. Street children don’t use names, and even being recognizable is dangerous. Blending into the group protects everyone. I had to stop some Sisters who were developing nicknames and assigning numbers to the kids to track lessons. It would ruin everything if the kids knew they were being tracked with a name or number.

“Is that why you don’t have a name?” One of them asks me.

Direct dmg, that.

I try to recover but my shock was already apparent. I’ve never thought about that before.

“I don’t know,” is the best I can come up with. Then I change the topic back to school things.

To call it school is a bit of a stretch. The Sisters and I meet in a wide alley with some street children. We tried to start with basic language skills, but these kids are too practical for that. The teaching program I used is too rigid for them. The Children want information they can apply right away. So we just teach them what they want to learn or what we think might interest them: their legal rights if they get arrested. The going price for a part on the legitimate market. How to get a free rail pass or medic check. The way to count change and write numbers. The sort of thing a street child can use right now or use to get ahead. It seems to be working. They seem to like it more and are bringing others with them if they come.

The rhymes are the biggest obstacle to our efforts. When I was on the street I couldn’t go a day without one of them saving my life or helping me get by. All the street kids are going through the same sort of life that I had. Now an ‘Oldie Rat’ like me is asking them to forget what some of the rhymes say or even go against them? Sometimes, I hate myself, thinking it might get them hurt or killed.

Mom Super was right about needing my unique gifts too. Street slang is thick and almost incomprehensible to most of the Sisters. Sometimes I’m translating both directions. I’ve started teaching it to the more adventurous Sisters, but it’s slow and frustrating.

I don’t know how it happened, but one evening while working with a new child, teaching him about staying clean, I look up and all the other Sisters have left. We all tend to come as a group and leave as the day goes on. I’m one of the last most days, but I’ve never been alone. I didn’ know why bu’ that got me scared some.

When the lesson was finally done, I put the hood up on my coat and begin walking to the rail station. I’ve got this uneasy feeling, and I start to walk more quickly. I hear a sudden burst of noise to my left and turn my head to look at it, but the hood blocks my view. The verge of panic comes, and I move even faster. The train is there but as I approach the doors close and it pulls away. The next won’t be for 20 minutes.

I gasp for breath as I lean against the ticket kiosk.

What the hell? What am I afraid of? Walking around alone? My mind is just clear enough now to be angry at myself. At least one Street child must have seen my panic and will ask about it next week. Maybe it will even scare some away for a while. Am I really this stupid?

That thought carries me through the next few minutes. The sun is setting, but I try to relax as I wait.

Then someone walks up to me.

“Oh, you ‘lone, Sister? Ain’ i’ late?” the man says.

Strangers don’t just walk up to you in Bazaar Street.

“Or ‘hapse you ain’ Sister. Null tha’. is i’ rat. Yeah. Gear rat. Street rat eve’.” The man had taken another few steps towards me and stopped again when I backed away.

What did he say? All the panic of minutes ago shoots back into my mind and stiffens my spine. I don’ eve’ got a slag.

I turn to look at the man for the first time. He’s rough and poor looking, but better dressed than I’d expected. He is shaved but unremarkable. I see the shadow of a face I remember well.

Boss Dirk.

“Ya remember me? Got. I remember you, Rat. I remember that you owe me.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

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