#i had the concepts that were so rich and interesting but i didnt execute them super well

[hopefulqueer]

rewriting early Distant Melody may never come to anything--i doubt i'm going to rewrite all ~100k plus the Part 3 i've been thinking about adding for a year, certainly not quickly, and i can't even begin to think of how i might publish it, not to mention the fact that it's 6 seasons out of date so it's not going to have any audience even if anyone is still in that fandom--but if nothing else, it's serving as an extremely good way for me to convince myself that i'm an astronomically better writer now than i was in 2016-2018

[vaugarde]

Don’t get me started on Team Flare

AH i almost didnt see this fuck sorry

team flare is like proof the pokemon world isnt a socialist etopia like people on here say sometimes- its literally a group of rich people that bought their way to success and hated the poor so much that they wanted to eliminate them all. like i didnt get them as a kid i just thought they were tacky but looking at them now is like. wow. on paper theyre actually some of the more damaging high stakes pokemon villains.

bc i dont really care for gen 6 i honestly dont think about them too much but i will say that lysandre at least is an interesting antagonist in concept and is well implemented in the anime (not sure abt the manga yet but ill say something when i read it) BUT hes still an awful person. like at his core he is a man about control. he literally decided that because people ask for too many things that they should either buy their way into his group or die like thats not a redeemable man no matter how much the game tries to woobify him or how many lysandre/sycamore fics try to say otherwise. he can be well written and a bad person. this is a concept i wish people would consider more.

overall though i really wish they had actually had more done with them or were more fleshed out. i dont even remember the flare girls names. i only know xerosic’s bc he was in the looker postgame. malva has fantastic potential as a villain because shes a FLARE EXECUTIVE that PROMOTES THEIR MAIN NETWORK and is ONE OF THE ELITE 4 and absolutely nothing is done with ANY of that in the actual game aside from her small bit in the postgame. i didnt even know she was the holocaster lady at first and didnt care until i scrolled bulbapedia out of boredom one day. its frustrating like theres a lot you can do with team flare and these characters in it and they can be such fantastic villains and yet. this is gamefreak we’re talking about.

[coalitiongirl]

ive been watching your scenes to rewatch and ive been crying at literally all of them. out of curoisity, what are your favourite ouat scenes? either sq or general? also side note, i love your latest fic, such an interesting premise. i get so scared every time someone says an order and emmas forced to comply, that scene with the trolls had me on edge. and the fact that cora must suspect something about emma now - im so scared but excited ahah :D have a nice day :)

OH I super dropped the ball on those omg, i have so many others!! but i haven’t been able to rewatch in a long time, it hard 😩

of course i LOVE almost every swan queen scene!! it’s hard for me to pick favorites because nearly every one pings something else inside me omfg. I don’t think there’s a single sq scene I couldn’t write an essay about WHOOPS. so lemme try to answer this with just some of my favorite non-sq scenes 😅

Emma in True North: hoo boy, this is probably in my scenes to rewatch but that scene on the road, MAN. there’s so much careful buildup with emma’s abandonment issues and how much she sees herself in nick and ava. and they have a chance she never does and dammit, she fights for them!! she fights for two kids just like her and they get their moment and jmo turns that realization into agony with sheer artistry in emma’s FACE in their final moment. god.

Regina in We Are Both: this was the episode that sold me on Regina! tbh i’d marathoned s1 as soon as they announced mulan was going to be in s2 so i hadn’t been focusing much on thinking before that?? and then suddenly there’s Regina, in all her rich and layered stories, and i fell hARD. the whole narrative of the episode- Regina resisting parental abuse until she becomes what she’s always feared to be free!! and that translating into her saying ‘no, this isn’t going to continue to the next generation. even if i lose the only thing that matters to me.’ do u ever stan!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE VERY WELL. END ME.

Emma in Firebird: listen. never follow ur idols to ur next fandom or you’ll suddenly realize they actually hate women and then get ‘’’muted’’’ for ‘’’yelling at her too much’’’ but jane espenson did a GOOD with the flashbacks in this one (present day still literal and figurative hell tho!!). The concept of Emma’s jacket as armor isn’t an original one, but the execution was honestly stellar. Emma forging this connection with an older hardened woman who can’t let go of the past either!! emma destroyed and remade into the lady we met on her twenty-eighth birthday. GOD. SHE FINDS HER DAUGHTER. and i gotta say, the vulnerable-tearful-young thing jmo was doing w emma in s5 didn’t work for me in terms of what present day was trying to convey, but it’s a perfect fit for that flashback, i WEPT.

Regina in Quite A Common Fairy: Lana OWNS the cave scene with Tink, god. The depth and breadth of emoTION. The episode and the narrative itself builds it up from episode one! because this regina on the road to redemption but finally giving us a glimpse into the emotional and mental state she was in as the young queen- she has all this rage and she’s SUSTAINED by it, it’s her only real truth and constant and she’s terrified of what might happen if she lets it go for even an instant and chooses hope instead. (Lana’s voice when Regina says she’s afraid that without rage she might just ‘—float away’ is something that has stayed with me for a long, long time.) REGINA PULLING OUT HER HEART TO MAKE A POINT. far from the last time she will, but how affecting!! god!!

Emma and Snow in S1: There are a few moments i’m thinking of (and i’m literally writing this on the treadmill so pls forgive the lack of episode names) and all of them are so stellar, god. The moment when Snow finds Emma living out of her car early on. Snow and Emma sitting at the table at the loft holding hands. Emma lying down next to a crying Snow. Snow yelling at Emma for being so selfish when she tries running off with Henry?? EMMA SHOWING UP AT MARY MARGARET’S DOOR SEARCHING FOR A ~PERSON~ AND MARY MARGARET SILENTLY LETTING HER IN. Snow and Emma work best in S1 in the silences and the fights, where they’re allowed to just care and be family, and I treasure each of those moments as much as they do.

Regina and Zelena in the Kansas: There’s a lot of effort put into this dynamic right near what seemed like the end, playing with how exactly Zelena perceives her happy ending to go- and then Regina strikes it all down by being different, by changing, by being someone Zelena hadn’t believed either of them capable of. And then Regina goes to Zelena’s cell and offers her!! sisterhood!! my god. i instantly fell in love with the dynamic in that moment and i’m forever pressed that the ‘it’s nice to have family in town’ line was cut. because you can tell that regina craves family and craves unmaking this second monster of her mother’s and zelena was going to TAKE that second chance and hey! this seems the perfect time to go off-message and

Belle in Family Business and Heroes and Villains: imma be honest, i like belle just fine in the early seasons but i have zero interest in rumbelle, which means a lot of fast-forwarding through her scenes. But these two scenes were ENCHANTING. Mirror Belle preying on Belle with the truth that she’s afraid to face! Emilie does such a fantastic job conveying so much cruelty in that scene, I was gaping and enthralled and hoping shattered sight was going to work exactly like that (and tbh props to ginny for doing a hella creepy snow at the start of Shattered Sight). And that town line scene!!! What a stunning, evocative scene. Belle reclaiming agency and taking action in such a 100% cold-blooded but necessary way!! that’s my ravenclaw babe!!!

Mulan and Aurora: I was young, and I Believed, and I Believed for a very long time. I am appalled at my naïveté too, don’t worry.

Regina in Enter the Dragon: LOOK it’s not about the leather but it’s a lil about the leather!!! I really appreciate both Regina in the past and present in this one and also how gay it is, and I’m most charmed by lil evil pep talking nugget Regina who just wants you to be the very best villain you can be! It’s such an artful melding of the exuberance of young!Regina and the delight in chaos of eq!Regina and i, for one, am a fan.

Emma (and Henry) in The Stranger/An Apple Red as Blood: my gOD. Okay I think one of the first times I cried while watching this show was in Emma’s desperate, hysterical denial to August about the curse. She’s so clearly hit rock bottom and she’s TERRIFIED of believing and it’s breaking her. SHE DIDNT ASK TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONES HAPPINESS. SHE DOESNT WANT IT. THAT IS CRAP!!!! i love her!! i love emma swan!!! i do!!!!! and then moving into the end of the next episode when she tells henry she’s leaving and just!! ‘henry! life isn’t a story!’ man this show had some incredible early work. sigh. emma kneeling in front of henry begging him to listen! my god.

Regina in the Cricket Game: so i’m leaving out all my fave sq moments which severely limits the number of regina and emma scenes i can talk about here but the flashbacks in this one SURE ARE SOMETHING. regina has hit rock bottom in this set and you feel it in every moment, in her REGRET THAT I HAVE NOT CAUSED MORE PAIN and frickin stABBING snow and that dark scene with the candle oh god. this is a regina who doesn’t think about looking back anymore but who doesn’t think about looking forward, either, and she’s terrifying. it reminds me a lot of the scene later this season in Welcome to Storybrooke where she takes out snow’s heart and ‘see? i can have everything’ but there are tears sliding down her face. regina in enraged despair is something to behold!!

Henry (and Emma and Regina) in Operation Mongoose: Henry doesn’t often get lengthy times to shine that aren’t about other characters, but he was literally a YA hero in the author’s universe! man! what a kid! and his scenes with bandit Regina are some of my all-time favorites, as is that heartstopping moment when he reaches the top of that tower and flings the door open and Emma KNOWS him. reader, i wept. i wept hard. talk about your earned moments!!!

Emma as Dark Swan: posture! clothing! positioning! voice work! dark swan was a revelation i’m still rightfully bitter about, because she was EVERYTHING in those early episodes. the way she caressed snow’s face in first episode of 5a. the faux-innocent with the calculating eyes on the ship with whats-his-name. every interaction with henry where she was trying to be a PERSON. the way she moved! the way she felt more reptilian than human! i wanted to know everything about her!! (then i did and quit the show lol) honestly some of jmo’s best acting to date, i’m forever in awe.

That Still Small Voice: look, this is an episode about a cricket and it remains one of my favorite quality ouat episodes. Archie sells it best as an adult influenced by his past without quite knowing it, and Archie and Henry make for a really engaging dynamic in here. There is nothing about Archie’s professional behavior that doesn’t make me want to scream but this remains a very, very good episode.

Emma in Sympathy for the De Vil/Lily: okay this is cheating a little because so much of this is also Regina but!! Emma individually shines in this narrative and throughout 4b. From the moment she finds out about what her parents had done, you can watch it slowly draining a part of her?? yes her eyes got redder but there was also this kind of apathy about EVERYTHING. And tbh the Cruella episode is pretty awesome on its own (I love the slow revelation that Cru is the villain, what a stellar execution of a fave trope) but WHEN EMMA KILLS HER. In the exact moment that Cruella says ‘heroes don’t kill’. that’s what pushes emma over the edge!! and then emma ready to kill again the next episode because she feels like she’s sliding into an abyss, i couldn’t BREATHE. emma is incredible when the narrative lets her be angry, and i wanted So Much More. Speaking of which, Emma getting angrier and angrier and almost losing it in The Snow Queen was more of that anger!! i am HUNGRY for it.

Regina and Snow in The Evil Queen: This episode is messy af but damn did my heart skip a beat when a hooded hero saves Regina and tears off her hood and it’s SNOW. This episode does so much of what makes Snow/Regina so fascinating and frustrating, both in the present and the past. Their interactions in the woods moved me! changed me! and Regina had already crossed the point of no return but oh man, oh man, the way they’d almost gotten somewhere for a minute there.

Regina and Henry in Save Henry: A classic, a work of art, and I’ve said so much about it in the past that I’m exhausted just thinking about expressing it all again now. But what a STORY of an evil queen who falls in love with a little boy. What a narrative!! The promo pictures from this episode came out when I was sitting in the hospital for a checkup while I was expecting my daughter, and I was tearing up and the nurses thought it was about the ultrasound. I’M NOT PROUD. This is a love story!!! And it culminates again in A Curious Thing, by the way, which put another ten years on my life, an Epic !

Emma and Henry in New York City Serenade: boy was this a journey, but I was absolutely spellbound omg. This was a love song to a fantasy but it’s a fantasy that never unmakes Emma– she’s afraid of commitment and happiness and everything permanent in her life that isn’t Henry, but she’s still going to take that leap despite herself. It’s a wonderful character study that captures Emma’s essence in a new world, with a new past.

Snow in The Miller’s Daughter: Snow is at her best when the show isn’t painting her with rose-colored glasses and we get to see her darker side, and I don’t think she ever gets quite as dark in the first three seasons as she is when she’s standing there, smiling earnestly at Regina as she tells her that the key to Cora loving Regina is in the poisoned heart she holds. My god. It’s so incredibly cold-blooded and vile, and it’s absolutely the kind of manipulative pragmatism that suits Snow best. I am enthralled and horrified.

Neal and Emma and Henry and Gold in Manhattan: This is one of those really cool scenes where even though I don’t particularly care for half the characters within it, everyone acted the hell out of it and it’s so GOOD. There’s so much tension and you’re holding your breath through the squabbling, and then Henry shows up and you KNOW. You know what’s going to happen and you’re terrified for Emma and it’s so visceral, right up until the instant when Neal demands Henry’s age and Henry shouts ELEVEN and my god, my god. What a reveal. What a scene.

There are more!! so many scenes and moments i’ve loved over the years. Emma and young!Lily! Snowing in Snow Falls! Anna of Arendale!! Snow and Emma in Lost Girl!! Ruby in Red Handed! The David/Emma dragon fight in A Land Without Magic! Regina tearing out that heart in The Doctor and meeting Daniel again?? Regina and her father in hell. all of Hat Trick. i think twenty is a good place to stop, but hoo boy, when this show was good, it was GOOD. alas.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

either it was a case of a) ignoring obvious context clues or b) forgetting outright statements in the books or most likely c) both, but i didnt Get that lucius malfoy had been the like head death eater pre-voldemorts quasideath. it makes sense obviously but it makes everything even more ironic? poetic? whatever that basically voldemorts handling of the malfoys was one of the most dumbassed things he did, both by complete accident/coincidence/luck and by voldemorts own crappy choices which make it infinitely easier to off him like i hadnt really thought about it in an organized fashion before knowing that lucius used to be #1 but i guess that just made it more beautiful or something. because its in part all great and heartwarming and stuff that the good choices of good people doing their best does lead to direct successes, but its also great when things that arent supposed to be important or even relevant come into play and small undignified things end up being as crucial as the more grand and dramatic stuff. plus, dumbledore is representing the Man With A Long Con Plan, and he sucks. whereas harry is always just playing by ear and doing all the real work out here anyways it all also makes sense why draco malfoy remains so prominent throughout the series, even in say, book 4, where he truly does nothing impactful save tell harry he sucks and be transfigured into a ferret by a death eater. he's in the top ten characters per mention re: the series as a whole, and even stays in the top twenty chars by mention in dh, where he's hardly even around. i know this from trivia games. and he's like the first hogwarts peer harry meets, right. but the point is despite being introduced as a rival who seems to be heading towards simply being a nuisance, his tangential arc is not only important even when he's only being an annoying dumbass but also voldemort's own bullshit causing his own demise like firstly, it was useful that lucius malfoy was Death Eater Man The First because he essentially raised his child in a cult in an attempt to pretty much clone himself, which sort of worked until like, book 6. which, a fun fact if you overlook these kinds of connect-the-dots clues in the books like i do, means it makes sense why draco made an attempt to befriend harry in the first place and why that attempt was so blindingly crappy: that pre-voldemorts return, former death eaters thought harry potter might turn out to be the next mega evil wizard, so it was probably a lucius-endorsed maneuver, what with it being repeatedly established that lucius's strategy in things is to associate himself with powerful people and try to gain influence and protection that way. but when harry was like fuck off with that, draco realized that harry was just an sjw, even though technically antagonizing hp was not lucius-endorsed. and the cult thing comes into play both in the worst friendship offering of all time and in draco wanting to knock harry down a peg at all times, in that not only was draco brought up on the belief of wide concepts like wizpremacy and blood purity and a voldemort renaissance would be amazing and death eaters are the best, but also the concept that as a pureblood and a malfoy they had an elitism that would be recognized anywhere, so not only should harry have been interested in befriending him and recognizing him as top quality but so should the whole god damn school, neither of which happened, so he takes it all out on harry on account of being jealous and a little shit but maybe that self-appointed rivalry wouldve died down if harry hadn't also been drawn into the pettiness of it all, thank god for it, because it is a) vital to murdering voldemort and b) pretty funny sometimes, when thats the context of the situation, on account of draco's role fluctuating between harmless annoyance to actual threat/antagonist even within the same books. e.g. how in poa, he's sort of indirectly causing real problems via hippogriff executions, but at the same time the part where he shows up and has snape make ron and harry do his potion for him is a little hilarious. i think ron hit him in the face with a crocodile heart in CoS, maybe. potions is where its all happening. but anyways, the point is that harry kind of drags draco along in remaining relevant because theyre both dumb as hell, and immature. like, draco's relevant in the first book because all the little things are more relevant to harry then and he's presumably not happy about once again being hated for no good reason. and in the second one, the trio think draco is the heir of slytherin for a while. he has the buckbeak thing in the third book, in goblet of fire he's really just there in the background being annoying, unhelpful, racist, etc, as per usual but its all so unimportant i barely remember half of what he's even doing in that book. but anyways, like with the other books, despite being outstripped as a real "threat" in harry's world by that point, its still important he's relevant in the fifth book as well, because he's obviously important in the sixth but in a way that started in the fifth book, which means by extension its a way that started in books 1-4 as well because in book 5, even though for once he has some mild direct form of power besides the really powerful yet indirect factor of having a rich dad involved in politics, malfoy still doesnt really manage much. until he manages the fairly major victory of raiding dumbledores army. which didnt turn out to be important since they got out of that tight spot, but it was important because it introduced draco to the room of requirement the 6th book is like, its funny that the reason harry suspected malfoy so much besides seeing a sort of suspicious conversation or two, is mostly just that he's got a grudge against him and also is wondering why draco seems to have gotten a hobby besides annoying him all the time, which is funny because its just accurate. and also relies on their history in all the previous books. but what was really up was that, again, voldemort was ruining everything for himself. on account of deciding to make an example of the malfoys as a way of punishing lucius for totally botching the dept of mysteries thing. like, thats great and all, but it kind of backfires in the whole death-eater-cult thing draco had going on in that he was seeing evidence that being a death eater actually was the worst and everyone was jerks, and that the guy he was modeling himself after was now the lowest amongst them, and voldemorts a dick and his return is actually shitty, and again that they arent seen as The Best for being malfoys, and things arent The Best because voldemorts back, but instead it is bullshit and theyre considered the worst for being malfoys. and the whole Cult Teaching Style really backfires in that sense since when parts of it get disproved to someone the whole thing is now liable to collapse too. and his execution mission was Useful in a load of ways. including that besides the regular voldemort stress there was the stress of malfoy figuring out he wasn't actually up for murder re: katie bell and ron almost dying in the crossfire. which you'd think he mightve thought of before voldemort returned with all his murder agenda, but maybe he really did just assume he'd make a great stone cold killer. presumably there wasnt a lot of thinking shit through about taking on the whole mission in the first place anyways, then the room of requirement is important because he needs it to actually succeed, which apparently none of the masterminds behind the whole thing (voldemort, dumbledore, snape) accounted for. and that whole deal on the astronomy tower just did the important stuff of a) proving to draco that he can't actually kill anyone and b) showing harry that draco disarmed dumbledore, for the whole elder wand business and then the other reason that voldemort inadvertently turned the malfoys against him was that, by sending their son off to die while simultaneously antagonizing them at all times, of course he made the situation such that by the 7th book even bullshit lucius is really mostly interested in their family making it out alive, which as per usual means doing whatever it takes with whoevers on top to do so. total #malfoys, ttly slytherin. but anyways? honestly? there were such infinitely better ways to use the fact that the malfoy family actually gave a shit about each other besides "you did this wrong so i'll kill your kid as punishment." on account of that just gives them reason to resent voldemort, would have left them with a lot less to lose should draco have actually died (did voldemort expect dumbledore to actually kill a 16-yr old who was one of his students or something? he sucks but hes a lot more passive in his negligence towards his student body), it was a waste of draco's potential use on account of he was clearly not only more competent than voldemort expected but also? he had been raised from birth to think voldemort was the best and his rule would be the best and being a death eater would be the best. and voldemort not only threw away a would-be useful death eater to die but also basically disillusioned draco of all his ideas about what life w voldemort around was like. and then theres the fact that, since voldemort knew lucius and narcissa cared enough about draco to suffer at his death, why wouldn't he have instead essentially used draco as a hostage to have their motivation be centered around that rather than gaining or maintaining status. its not like there were that many powerful death eaters at his disposal. i mean, narcissa is probably on the level of the best of them yet her abilities are really never called upon. like, she was ready to kill or die for draco, when she gave draco her wand it meant both she and lucius didnt have a wand at that point but she wasnt fucking around. and voldemort considered draco throwaway anyways and thought the best card he could play was to kill him? when he was that valuable to such powerful people? okay pal, sure. i mean probably he really didnt realize the extent to which the malfoys (particularly narcissa lbr, the saving grace of moms theme) actually cared about draco as their kid and not just like family honor shit or whatever, since thats a theme with him and then of course, besides voldemorts wasted opportunities there, draco's whole suicide-mission-that-actually-worked-out came into play when the trio gets caught by death eaters in dh and brought to his house and draco doesn't narc harry over to voldemort. on account of its fairly established to him by that point that he's not about killing anyone, even if it would moreso redeem his family to turn him in or be kind of anti-voldemort not to. this is useful when a) it means voldemort doesnt show up and murder harry a few times and b) it means harry's also alive to bust out and get some wands from draco. which he would also need for the elder wand business and which he would recognize as a crucial advantage because he'd witnessed draco disarm dumbledore because voldemort was a dumbass and gave him that mission and he could do it via the room of requirement which he found because of antagonizing harry during year 5 because of the longstanding feud he and harry had maintained ever since the hogwarts express ride before year 1 when their interaction stemmed from draco's dad being a major death eater player and then anyways despite kind of getting in harrys way again in the room of requirement which is a whole bit that feels almost nostalgic in that situation, with the battle being elsewhere and the broomsticks and everyone just taking a moment in the hall afterwards to be like jesus christ i need a gatorade. but it was useful in harry saving draco from dying then, which was funny with ron's line about if we die for them i'll kill you, but yknow harrys spontaneous heroics and neither him nor malfoy being interested in the other actually dying or anything. and then them saving malfoy again from some random death eater, which was an even more optional life saving maneuver. technically harry couldve lied i guess, but it was relevant when his life depended on telling narcissa that draco was alive in hogwarts as far as he knew. i dont think he realized why she was asking and what the effects of his answer would be until after he'd actually done so, so i guess its not as though he had the chance to weigh the option of lying anyways. plus, all that spontaneous heroics stuff and harry not being a particularly good liar and the thing that i cant remember if its canon or inferred theory that narcissa is a really good occlumens/legilimens, whereas harry is bullshit at that. but anyways, what was really important there was The Theme, aka that moms keep saving the world via the sake of their kids. and for that to happen in a literary sense draco had to be alive, even though maybe the intent wouldve counted, who knows, whatever anyways and then of course its relevant again when harry doesnt kill voldemort with his own twin wand even though that would be the dramatic and strategic thing to do, but with a wand he happened to snatch on improv of some rando bullshit student in his year who voldemort tried to have killed off because he's a wipe and terrible at everything, which is also how the horcruxes thing played out. and he keeps underestimating everyones mom. and thats how draco despite seeming largely useless for most of the series winds up being so useful he's mentioned in the final confrontation with voldemort right up to the point of harry actually killing voldemort. and its all because of death eaterdom doing itself in and voldemort doing himself in too and because draco and harry happened to have a mutual stubborn pettiness going on, but not so much so that they were going to let the other get killed. what with them being 17 and everyone having some god damn sense, particularly malfoy with his sense-gaining experience of the year prior and the whole not being twelve factor tldr the themes are: harrys spontaneous heroics, voldemorts self-destructive lack of comprehension of Love, your mom, and being a petty shithead and having a few ridiculous happenstantial encounters are whats important