#i have a building of a whale fall that would b perfect for this

[theghostofwilburtheworm]

someone should mod giant isopods into minecraft, it would greatly enhance the experience of playing the game me thinks

[shayanyaan]

Two Eleven Super

“London is very human-scale,” I am quick to pitch for one of my favorite cities in the world. 

Her eyes widen and her face lights up. She nods her head vigorously and points her finger at me, in complete agreement. This is the moment in a conversation when one person articulates perfectly what the other person was thinking but couldn’t quite put into words. B and I have been explaining to each other how both of us are more comfortable living in cities where we can walk or take public transport.

“Oh gosh London, yes! Seeing a London trip on my schedule always fills me with immense warmth. Imagine being able to walk around a city slowly absorbing all that it has to offer, the sights, the sounds, the traditions.”

They say never meet your celebrity heroes because you’ll inevitably find something disappointing. I think the same applies to some of the great cities of the world. But both of us conclude hands down that London does not fall in this category. 

“Actually London is not even a celebrity. London is a reliable old friend. A friend that has not lost their sense of culture and tradition. The monuments, the churches ...”

“.....and the bridges across the Thames - each one steeped in history.” We are finishing each other's sentences now. “The railway stations. The tube - a subterranean metropolis beneath a metropolis. The Mind the Gap jokes.” 

“And what about the black cabs and then … and then the red double decker buses. Oh the red buses - what an icon! They say tourists take the tube but real Londoners take the bus.”

“Aha! You’re probably right. Flocks of pigeons on Trafalgar square, the shops on Oxford Street.”

“And you can’t forget the ever present murky skies, steady rain, rippled puddles, umbrella bearing pedestrians.”

“Of course you just had to mention the Great British weather!” A disapproving look is thrown. The entire body of humor surrounding the British weather is a road we agree not to go down. 

---

I continue to quiz B on some of the other cities that she thought would fit the human-scale bill. New York inevitably comes up as a place she has not only travelled to but lived in. I am glad she brought up New York. Now New York is not an old friend. New York is a person you know you shouldn’t fall for, but you do anyway. There is something about the pace and the madness that sets New York apart from the rest of the US. Something about the people, coming from all corners of the world. To make a living, or even half a living. American dream and all that. 

In New York you are acutely aware of the class divide that exists in society. New York is dirty. The subway is full of creaking old trains. New York has JFK and LaGuardia both of which are dismal at best and soul destroying at worst. Oh and Penn Station. Never has there been a more classic case of the mighty having fallen. A complete and utter hell hole out of some post apocalyptic world. 

But somehow it all works. Barely. And that is where New York absolutely has you. As you walk around the city, you peel back the layers and beneath all the flaws and scars, you will find a genuinely captivating person. A person that knows how to push your buttons and make you forget the pandemonium, if only for a split second. Through the dollar pizzas on the street corners. Through the sheer magic of Central Park and the museums. Through the Manhattan skyline; hands down the best skyline in the world. Standing next to the Hudson, under the Brooklyn Bridge, with Lady Liberty keeping a quiet watch from a distance, you will be powerless as New York sucks you in. One glittering high rise at a time. Dreamy eyed, you cannot help but stare in wonderment. Hundreds of floors, thousands of windows. What goes on inside? And the lights! Yes so many lights. What could be a better tribute to Tesla, Faraday and the like?

“In general, the east coast of the United States is on a much more human-scale. Relatively small states with trains taking you across borders within a couple of hours at the most.”

“Going west of maybe Illinois, they started drawing great big rectangles for states.”

“And then there’s Texas. Vast open skies in an almost revolting shade of blue. Just as vast are the expanses of highway, further than the eye could see, or care to see. Wide, long and monotonous. Not a single human-scale building in sight”

“And who the hell builds highways passing through the center of a city!? Makes going to get some milk feel like a great expedition to the other side of the world.”

More chuckles. 

Then a brief silence, during which I am suddenly reminded of where I am - in a lounge on the upper deck of an A380. A massive ship hurtling through the ether, pushing the speed of sound. A big TV screen near where I am standing silently glares back at me indicating that -50 degrees is but a mere 10 meters from where I am standing. Yet here we are, B and I, chatting like two friends catching up over coffee. 

But of course, we are not friends. Not even acquaintances. She is on the Emirates cabin crew. And I am just a passenger. 

---

Back at my seat, halfway through an episode of Chernobyl, I pause to stare out of the window. Beyond the wing, which seems to stretch out to eternity, a smudge of orange is forcing its way through the royal blue of the sky. I can hear the muffled yet reassuring boom from the four Rolls Royce engines. It is then that I realize that there is nothing about the A380 that is human-scale. There is nothing about the skies which she inhabits that is human-scale. I've travelled on the beloved Super dozens of times. Yet I continue to be amazed at the size and scale with which she operates. Devouring continents and swallowing oceans. Bringing the other side of the world just a little closer to home. 

A friend of mine often describes journeys on the A380 as the closest we can get to the long sea voyages on gigantic ocean liners in the 1930s. And he is right. Two decks with so much space to stretch out. Bars, lounges, showers - no expense spared in ensuring luxury. Imagine peering out of the window from your first class cabin on the Queen Mary and seeing nothing but vast open sea. Right now I am doing exactly the same. Only from 36000 feet above the Earth, and all I can see is the vast open sky. Far below, Moscow and St Petersburg slip behind us. Scandinavia and the Atlantic Ocean lie ahead. As we burn more fuel, over North America, we will eventually settle in the exclusive airspace of flight level 410. 

The Boeing 747 is a work of art. Sheer poetry. The Airbus A380 however, is a lesson in outsmarting the laws of Physics. It is an absolute whale of a plane that looks like it should never leave the surface of the Earth in the first place. But somehow it does, through the most languid and sluggish of take offs.  Once up at cruising altitude though, it is steady ship all the way to your destination. The ability to punch through the sky without even the faintest of trembles is simply unmatched. I continue to stare wistfully out of the window, thinking about how much I’ll miss the A380 when she’s gone. She’s right up there with the Concorde in that nothing like this will ever be built in my lifetime.  

---

Resting my head on one of the fluffiest pillows ever to have taken flight, I gaze at the roof of the cabin - tiny twinkling stars gently coaxing me to drift off into a deep sleep. And frankly, it is not hard to. The bed is completely flat and the mattress is more comfortable than the one I have at home. The blanket is ever so soft. The fake gold and wood around the windows is not something I’d furnish my home with, yet up here in the sky, it somehow adds to the coziness. From my own little cocoon, I can see neither the aisle nor other TV screens. Not a single window shade in the cabin is raised. I don’t remember the last time I fell asleep on a plane without an eye mask.  All I can hear are the engines whirling away, and the hushed sound of the air beating against the fuselage - no more than a relaxing white noise. 

In the moments between lying down and falling asleep, I am thinking about the countless journeys I’ve made with Emirates over the last two decades. Leaving home as often as I’ve had to, I’ve come to really treasure the sense of familiarity that an Emirates flight brings to me. I’ve never stopped to think about it before but there is a certain warmth and tenderness you feel when you have an old faithful travel companion to share your journeys with. And Emirates has been that companion for me, helping me wipe away the homesickness. Slowly at first, then all at once. The boarding music that says “Hello Tomorrow”. The inflight announcements that say “Tayaran Al Emarat”. The reassuring voice of Sir Tim Clark answering questions on the default podcast channel. The wavy curves on the cabin wallpaper. The cabin crew with their brown blazers and their red hats.  When choosing an airline to fly, it is hard to look past this comfort of familiarity resulting from a bond first formed unwittingly, many years ago. And strengthened over numerous journeys from one side of the planet to the other, including this one. Before I can process any more thoughts, I slip into a happy and peaceful sleep. We are probably somewhere over the North Atlantic. But in this moment, it hardly matters. 

---

Six hours have passed. B is on hand to wake me for dinner. It seems the crew has saved the best meal till the very end. Three courses this evening, starting with a chick-pea salad that doesn’t make you hate your life with its dreariness. I politely refuse the alcohol but ask for a piece of garlic bread on the side. Which is brought to me, warm, from a basket lined with cloth. The main course is served with the Jeera rice cooked in just the right amount of butter. The ratio of jeera to rice - perfect. The Rajma has the power to rival any dhaba in North India and along with it is a second curry made with melt-in-your-mouth soft paneer. Actual phulkas to go on the side, instead of pita. 

And if you're going to go full North Indian with your meal, you need some achaar. Which obviously is on my tray as well. Emirates just knows how to serve Indian food. If I had any doubts about this, they are well and truly shattered when B brings the dessert. Four of the finest pieces of Rasgulla. Sometimes you have a meal so sublime that you are moved to shedding a tear or two. This AVML has been one such. 

I call B over one last time to thank her for everything. She passes me a brownie, one very similar to those I’d been wolfing down earlier while talking to her in the lounge. This of course, brings the widest of smiles to my face. Not because I like brownies. But most certainly because of the fact that she had noticed. And remembered. The crew has been absolutely stellar on this flight. 

---

Business class. A crew that knows how to pronounce your ridiculously long last name. A crew that has time to engage in conversations with you. Meals served on crisp white table cloths. Meals that come in courses. Flat beds to stretch your legs. Flat beds to rest your weary soul. On a grueling ultra long haul flight across 10 time zones, almost anything that seeks to make you feel more earthly is highly appreciated. 

This has been Emirates Two Eleven Super - Dubai to Houston in just under seventeen hours, albeit the best seventeen hours of my life. 

[catsprobably]

New Fan

Request: can you write for James where his wife is giving birth to their second child, a baby boy this time, and Salomé's reaction meeting the baby?

AN: Wow this was very cute and I loved writing it. I’m very sorry for not posting anything for such a long time :/ I have an Emotional™️ fic planned for the future based off some of the requests you guys sent in, so watch out for that soon. Thanks for your support!

Warnings: EXTREME FLUFF, mentions of a miscarriage

Word Count: 1729

Your husband began to cook dinner, stirring the pot on the stove in the kitchen. You and James had been married just over a year before the two of you decided to try for a baby and after only a few months you found out you were expecting. But then there was the miscarriage. It broke your heart. And it took you and James a long time to heal from that. You had taken a break from trying. You weren’t ready to go through anything like that again. But it seems as though life had different plans.

Now you were almost 4 months pregnant. The doctor said you and the baby were in excellent health. You were terrified but the excitement you felt was beginning to overpower that. Both of you were excited, although James was overly excited after finding out it was a boy. The two of you still hadn’t picked out a name for the baby, however, but you weren’t stressed about it. You had plenty of time.

You were worried about telling Salomé. The two of you had bonded quickly when you started dating James and now she was like your own daughter. You loved her so much and you felt guilty for not telling her yet, but to be fair only James actually knew you were expecting. But now you decided it was time to tell her. You couldn’t hide your bump with oversized t-shirts anymore.

James and you had gotten her a shirt that said “Best Big Sister” and wrapped it for her to open. It was blue, her favorite color, with white, cursive lettering and cute little daisies.

“(Y/N)!” Salomé ran through the front door and straight over to you.

“Hi, sweetheart. Did you have fun at school today?”

She nodded excitedly and looked up at you with big brown eyes. James came through the kitchen opening with Salo’s present.

“Hello, Princesa,” he said and she ran over to him, jumping into his open arms. He picked her up and spun her around before depositing her on a chair in the dining room. “Salo, (Y/N) and I wanted to give you something,” he handed her the box with the shiny green and white striped paper.

She tore into the paper and pulled the top off the box. She pulled out the shirt and furrowed her brows, reading the writing on the shirt.

“What does it say, Salo?”

“Best Big Sister? But I’m not a big sister,” she said in confusion. She looked at the two of you for clarification, and then noticed your hand on your swollen belly. Her eyes widened, “you’re going to have a baby?”

You nodded and she jumped up, wrapping her arms around you in a hug. “ So you’re excited to be a big sister?” You asked, pulling back to look at her face and smooth the curls away from her eyes. You felt James move to stand behind you and you gently lean back against him

“Yes!!! Is it a boy or a girl?”

“A boy.”

“Yay! Ohmygosh! I’m so excited!”

You felt James laugh behind you, and Salo pulled back and untangled herself from your arms. “He’ll be here in a few months. Do you want to see his room?” You had put his room across the hall from her room, hoping she wouldn’t protest. Salo nodded and you led her to the nursery.

The rest of the evening was spent answering her many questions (“where do babies come from?” utterly terrified James and you thought he was going to have an aneurism when she asked that). Eventually she calmed down and the two of you managed to convince her to go to sleep for the night.

And the next couple months passed in a blur, everything moving much quicker than you had anticipated. Everyday you felt more and more like a whale and you ankles and feet began to swell from the baby. Your back and breasts and feet and basically everything ached all. The. Time. After 8 and a half months, you were more than ready for this pregnancy to be done. You and James spent every minute of your free time preparing for the baby, painting the nursery, building the crib (Ikea was currently on your bad list) and reading every baby book you got your hands on.

Salo also helped prepare for the baby. She insisted on painting your toenails to cheer you up, because you definitely couldn’t reach your feet. She helped paint the nursery and she helped you back your overnight bag for in the hospital.

You particularly appreciated James and his extra attention. He was always mindful of what might be ailing you, he rubbed your feet when he knew you had been standing a lot during the day, and he massaged your shoulders when he saw you grimace and reach for them. He also cooked most of the meals, and catered to all the weird cravings you had. The two of you had been going to lamaze classes and you felt well prepared for this baby.

Until your water broke.

It was late, about 10 at night, when you felt the liquid running down your legs. You gasped at the feeling and James rushed into the kitchen where you had gone to get a snack for the two of you.

“Well, I guess we’re not watching a movie tonight.” He laughed at the annoyed expression on your face as you said that and pulled you into a hug.

“Hey, we don’t have to leave yet. Have you had any contractions? We don’t have to leave until they’re 7 minutes apart.”

You were about to tell him you hadn’t felt anything yet when your first contraction ripped through you, making you double over and clench your eyes shut for a moment before the pain faded and you straightened.

“Alright I guess I’ll start the stop watching to see how far apart they are.”

You nodded and began to waddle away to change out of your wet clothes.

You came back downstairs a few minutes later, in a loose maternity dress, just as another contraction began. After the pain faded you turned to James, “how long was that?”

“8 and a half minutes. We could leave now if you want. We do have to drop Salo off with Thiago.”

You nodded, “I’ll go get my bag and call him. Do you want to get Salo? I’ll meet you at the car.”

In 10 minutes you hobbled back down the steps with your bag in tow, having called Thiago to tell him you were coming. James’ Bayern teammate was more than excited to finally meet the newest FC Bayern fan.

You met James at the car and he took your bag and tossed it in the back, along with Salo’s. He started the car and drove the 15 minutes to Thiago’s house, who met you at the door and cradled a sleepy Salomé in one arm and her bag in the other and wished you luck before heading back inside.

James pulled back out onto the highway and another contraction, your sixth (you thought, although you had kind of lost count) started to tear through you. James saw your pained expression and grasped your hand tight in his, keeping you grounded and letting you know you weren’t alone in this.

When you got to the hospital they rushed you to delivery where you met your OB/GYN. After several long hours of labor, (you were cursing James half the time for putting you in this situation) you finally got hold your baby boy.

The nurse placed him into your arms and James came to stand next to you, placing an arm around your shoulders.

“He so… perfect,” you whispered as the baby cooed.

James was silent for a moment, taking in his son. “We still have to pick a name for him.”

“How about (B/N)?”

“I love it,” James said, kissing your forehead and resting his head next to yours.

It was early morning, about 8, so James figured Thiago and Salo would be awake by now, and he left you alone with (B/N), who was looking up at you with James’ big brown eyes. You held his tiny pink hand and made baby noises to your bundle of joy. After almost half an hour, James returned to your room and peaked his head in.

“Are you up for some visitors?”

You were tired but you didn’t think you could sleep anyway so you nodded and he opened the door and Thiago stepped in with Salo.

You gave them a tired smile. “Salo, do you want to meet your new brother (B/N)?”

She tentatively stepped towards you and you leaned towards her so she could see the baby.

“Do you want to hold him with Daddy’s help?” She nodded, not taking her eyes off her little brother. You handed your son to James, who sat on the chair near the bed. Salomé climbed up into his lap and he wrapped his arms around her and help the baby in front of her. You watched the two of them for a little, a small smile coming across your face.

“You’re exhausted, huh?” Thiago stood next to your bed, his arms crossed as he watched the others.

“Oh my god you have no idea,” you said with a small laugh.

“I can imagine,” he said with the hint of a smile, “hey, guys, why don’t we take this party outside so Mommy can get some rest?”

James and Salo looked up from the baby and James’ eyes fell on you, a look of guilt and sympathy crossing his face. “That’s a great idea, uncle Thiago. Can you take the baby for a second?” He handed (B/N) over to Thiago and Thiago and Salo made their way to the door. James leaned down next to you and kissed you on the forehead. “We’ll be back in a bit. Get some rest. I love you.”

You smiled and pulled him down for a quick kiss on the lips, the taste of coffee lingered on your tongue from his lips. “Thank you. I love you too.” James turned and joined Thiago and Salomé and you collapsed back onto the pillows, closing your eyes and falling into an exhausted but peaceful sleep.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

The Most Pointless Character in Sonichu

Taffy here. This was a post I made for the Kiwi Farms forum on the most pointless character in Sonichu in late October 2017, and I took up the challenge to prove every single character has no point. This was kind of my beta version of what would become Taffy’s Annotated Sonichu, so I thought it would be worth reprinting here (also I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get more CWCDefense or GitM up, I’ve been really sick for the past two weeks and I’m just now trying to get back in the swing of things).

Chris's comic persona and fursona are pointless because he could have just lived vicariously through Sonichu and not have an in-comic presence.

Sonichu himself became pointless after Chris took over as main character but was already pretty pointless since really Chris could have just written a straight Sonic fanfic with Sonic as the lead in the first place. Besides the occasional electric attack and the complete lack of an original personality he's basically Sonic.

That said, all the characters ripped wholesale from Sonic or Pokémon (Sonic himself, Perfect Chaos, Robotnik, Giovanni) are pretty pointless as they were dropped not long in as Sonichu grew to have its own canon with its own crazy cast of characters.

In addition, any character ripped wholesale from any other franchise (Beavis & Butthead, Bugs Bunny, Meg Griffin) exist solely for "fan service", or rather fan disservice.

Rosechu is extremely pointless, all she does is A) be a token girl, B) prove Sonichu is STRAIGHT, and C) occasionally face rape someone. That said The Incredible Lioness is probably the closest we get to a real character with a point, rivaled only by the Voltorb that kills Simonla. They have simple purposes (to brutally maim and murder) and they do them to a T.

Kel is pointless since Rosechu could have just been Chris's Pokémon to begin with and she didn't need to exist as a middleman.

For that matter, any character best known for being a Moon Pal (Bill the Scientist, Metal Sonichu, Yawning Squirtle) or just as a meme in general (Inos), while being great for laughs, are all pretty irrelevant background characters.

Reldnahc Notsew Niatsirhc exists solely for Chris to physically obliterate his sexual insecurity.

Any Jerkop or Manajerk exists solely for Chris to vent his frustrations with real people who were just doing their jobs. Same goes for Hanna.

Blake is too inconsistent to have a point to existing. He was a pointless villain-of-the-week at first and then he was a pointless supporting character.

Sarah Hammer and Wes Iseli are particularly pointless because Chris' relationship with Sarah was already waning when he wrote Sonichu 2. Since the reincarnation plot point was dropped not long after, you can honestly skip Sonichu 2 entirely and not miss anything.

Mary Lee Walsh, while being awesome, is like the jerkops and manajerks just there essentially as a comic book voodoo doll. Maybe the point of her was to show that Chris can in fact write an interesting and badass female character? We'll never know.

Count Graduon is pretty redundant with Mary, power wise. Other than to vent frustrations with his graduation he's really pointless.

All of the Chaotic Combo are basically team filler filling out some elements that the rest of the team lacks. Specifically:

Wild Sonichu doesn't really have a personality. He's pretty redundant with Sonichu himself, other than, of course, we need a green Sonichu. The one thing that possibly could have made him interesting, the struggles of being a single father, are really rushed over so Chris can get back to the murder spree. His only notable father-daughter bonding experience was drilling a man to death.

Bubbles Rosechu, aside from being the token blue Sonichu/water type, finds one Sonichu ball and then returns to being a moron.

Angelica Rosechu, although I imagine her original purpose was to be a pacifist voice of reason and a token religious character, well, that got thrown out the window pretty quickly. The things that differentiate her from Bubbles besides their powers are few and far between.

Punchy Sonichu is just the token red character and the token Asian. Seriously I don't even know what "fighting type" means. In fact, why not make him fire type? It's the one element missing from the Chaotic Combo (Bubbles is water, Wild is earth, Angelica is air, Magi-Chan is ether/heart/mind, no one's fire!) (Note 26/11/18: I now know Fighting-Type is a type of Pokémon, but nevertheless “Fighting-Type is one of the weirder types. The Pokémon types are elements, supernatural creatures... and martial arts. And yes, the Fighting-Type icons in the series are red while Fire-Type is orange, but from a team balance perspective fire would have made sense).

Magi-Chan, especially after being paired off with Silvana taking away his sole unique trait of not being driven around by his penis, is just Chris's round the clock surveillance system.

Boulder Dropping Whale would have been useful if he actually killed Bubbles's mother but since he failed he's just a great meme.

Why does Flame the Sunbird even exist? He's literally just Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie and his role could have easily been filled by Wild or Bubbles or anyone because that stupid Sunstone doesn't even matter, except it does make everything grow like Norma, whoever she is. Norma is the most relevant character in that whole issue. (Note 26/11/18: Yes, I named Nadine’s mom after this typo.)

Again, Darkbind and Zelina are crimes against nature. (Note from an earlier repost): I am referring to a previous post complaining that Darkbind and Zelina were the combinations of not two but four franchises (Sonic, Pokémon, Zelda & Darkwing Duck) and came off as clunky because of it.)

Crystal the sister is especially irrelevant now that Chris is a girl (why not make her a trans man to mirror Chris' own transition? Oh wait JERKS.), but she was always redundant with Rosechu and Chris himself.

Sailor Megtune - why didn't he just draw Megan herself? We know he's okay drawing her.

Megagi - Already kinda redundant with Megtune and she really had no reason to exist after Chris & Megan had that falling out.

Jamsta and Lolisa speak for themselves at their uselessness. I mean, they are just bit characters anyway. But as someone else mentioned before their radio station is particularly shitty.

Patti-Chan, while her story is cute, just exists as a way for Chris to hold on to his beloved pet and not fully cope with her loss.

Allison Amber, although being one of the better characters, wouldn't need to exist if Chris would just do some work for once. That said if the point of her character was to be an audience surrogate (I mean, until she shoots a man in cold blood) then for once Chris succeeded.

Bionic the Hedgehog as previously mentioned is just there for the sake of having an orange Sonichu, even though he isn't one.

All of the specific characters of Chris's "real life" "sweethearts" (Pandahalo, Blanca, Ivy) as well as their OCs (Jiggliami, Blazebob & Chloe, Layla Flaafy) are pointless because they all just disappear almost immediately after they're introduced after Chris finds out they were a troll or they "died".

Likewise any rendition of one of Chris' real life trolls (Jason Kendrick Howell, Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Alec, Evan, Sean & Mao) are again just there as pen-and-paper voodoo dolls for Chris to take out his frustrations on. The trolls in particular almost work against Chris' point in including them because no matter how much Chris paints himself as the hero his violent murder sprees always end with him looking like the villain. (Justice for the Asperpedia Four!)

Beel is just Satan and a secretary for the 4-cent-garbage building. Pretty pointless.

Zapina is just there as a token "cute" character.

Simonla is just Wild's token sweetheart and then later the lynchpin Chris needed to justify executing his enemies.

Silvana, while another fairly interesting character, is just a villain-of-the-week with an added dose of Chris's sexual insecurity.

Sarah & Rita Jackarass - These two are both stupid minor characters, but why on Earth did there need to be two of them?

GodJesus exists solely to heap praise onto our beloved autist.

Those stupid Samurai Pizza Transformers are stupid. I hate them so much. I hope they burn in the Earth's lava core.

Sonichu & Rosechu's children are initially just there to be cloyingly cute and then once they're grown to be Chris's LGBT mouthpieces, forgetting that we won't listen to anything they say because we already hate them. Of special pointlessness is Cerah, because while Robbie is the most punchable he's at least the focus character of a lot of the newer stuff (even though we hated him as a Sonee, we hated him as a Sonichu, and we'll hate him as a Rosechu), and Christine is vapid she gives credence to the idea that Magi-Chan is giving it to Rosechu behind Sonichu's back which is way more interesting than canon. Cerah does jack squat besides be a lesbian.

The Asperchu cameos are just there for Chris to try to force Alec to give him what he wants and the Basement Rosechus are just there to slander Alec's name.

Sandy is particularly irrelevant since Simonla's back, she was never anything more than a replacement goldfish for her.

Kevin the Jew - I knew it! I knew it all along! Peppermint Patty is a boy!

Bananasaurus - Don't listen to your Patreon backers Chris.

Lastly, Russel & Cynthia are just there to fill the Sonee/Rosee void left when Cera Christine & Robbie evolved, a void no one in particular wanted filled.

Edited (27/10/17) to include all the MLP characters and Chris's ponysona - We hate them and we want Sonichu back. 

[mitchbeck]

CANTLON'S CORNER: VINNI LETTIERI PLAYS BIG PIECE OF WOLF PACK PLAYOFF RUN

Vinni Lettieri BY: Gerry Cantlon, Howlings CROMWELL, CT - Prior to his departure for the AHL All-Star Classic in Ontario, California Vinni Lettieri was in a good spot as the final 22 games of the regular season. The last stretch commences in a home and home divisional pair of games with Springfield starting Friday at 7:15 pm at the XL Center. Lettieri returns along with teammate Joey Keane and head coach Kris Knoblauch as part of Atlantic Division winners of the 2020 AHL All-Star Classics. Lettieri popped in two goals the first came on a breakaway 2:13 into the first period for the Atlantic Division squad. The second was vintage Vinni off wing slapshot on a cross-ice feed from Providence’s Jack Studnicka 26 seconds into the action against the North Division. Then Joey Keane scored the next goal a little over two minutes later en route to a 5-2 win. He would also add an assist on the night. Now that all festivities are over Lettieri gets back to the task at hand. Practice is the key to his growth and progress. A few weeks ago in Cromwell, he and Keane spent a half hour or so taking extra shots and in one sequence hit the post three times in a row and he tossed his stick up in the air in baton tossing fashion. “That was one day because it's every day. To get better you have to do it every day. Joey and I do it a half-hour or so and it's important because it helps me to know where I am now and where I wanna go, work every day. It's always good to work with someone on those one-timers and Joey has been really good at it. Our powerplay has to improve, so we put in the extra time.” He has admitted his season was a slower start than he would have liked, but on and off-ice work has helped his game improve. “I have watched videos that have given me of Artemi Panarin (Rangers), ex-CT Whale Jonathan Marchessault (Las Vegas) and David Pasternak, (Boston the NHL’s leading goals scorer). It's learning how to hold onto the puck to make a better shot just not shooting randomly. So it's just one thing that changes everything it’s a combination of things. It's not a pattern that I see its learning each game is different. Using the coaches and all the other resources plus my teammates have helped make me a better all-around player,” remarked Lettieri. Panarin, the Rangers leading scorer and who has a high-end skill set is not a bad guy to pattern some of your game after. “Watching how he holds the puck in preparing for a shot is something, it's one of the little things of the game you learn. Pasternak’s shoots so well from any area he’s at its amazing. Marchessault, he seems to be everywhere and he is really dynamic and has great acceleration,” said Lettieri showing his keen scouting skills. Over the roller coaster past few weeks haven’t left Lettieri having seen the valley of the last two seasons. “For the better part of the year we have played the same way and stuck to our game plan and it’s a long season nothing is perfect. Yes, we could have played better in some ways, but overall I like this group and think more often than not will come out on top,” As they prepare for a weekend with Springfield a year ago same building he was adamant about making the playoffs three days the captain was traded and the team never recovered. This is obviously a very different group. “We certainly want it, but that is always important that we have to focus and continue to grow and get better and those things will take care of themselves.” AHL NEWS -Two pieces of new AHL arena news coming out of the AHL All-Star Classic. The San Jose City Council Tuesday night approved the expansion of the Solar4 American Ice Center that will become the new home of the AHL San Jose Barracuda. The arena located in central San Jose 3.6 miles about from the SAP Center aka Shark Tank where the Sharks and their AHL affiliate have shared the building for the past five years since the creation of the AHL Pacific Division. The upgrade slated to start this April that will see the complex go from four to six sheets of ice including a 4,200 seat competition arena that is to be completed by April 2022. The arena sits on a 21.2-acre site that also includes Excite Ballpark, home to the high, Class A eight-team California League San Jose Giants. The building has been the only secondary off-site training facility for the Sharks and Barracuda. The facility is also home to the collegiate varsity club hockey squad, the San Jose State Spartans (ACHA Division-2) and local high school hockey. This new facility combined with the AHL coming 32nd team, the expansion Palm Springs, CA team the affiliate for the expansion NHL Seattle team further solidifies the western growth of hockey both NHL, AHL and soon collegiately. -The West will also be solidified by the announcement from outgoing AHL President and CEO Dave Andrews that the Vegas Golden Knights are actively seeking to buy a current AHL team and move them to the Las Vegas area. The arena would be in nearby Paradise called, the Orleans Arena that was home to the ECHL Las Vegas Wranglers from 2003-20014. The building is 7,773 seats- a perfect AHL size building but would have to undergo a serious overhaul of its operating systems to be ready by the fall of 2020. Now, which team would they purchase? The most likely candidate could be Rockford whose arrangement with the Chicago Black Hawks ends after this season. In that scenario, the Golden Knights would purchase Rockford and then move the team to Las Vegas. Meanwhile, the Golden Knights have the Chicago Wolves as their farm team would vacate that arrangement. That could allow the Black Hawks to skate into an arrangement as the Wolves' new parent team. The Wolves are one of the few independently owned teams left in the league in which 19 of the 32 teams are NHL O & O (owned and operated) and is one of the best attended and promoted teams in the league. When Wolves were firstborn in the old IHL under its present owner Don Levin the two were arch enemies. 20 plus years have passed. Rocky Wirtz, not his father Bill is running the team I can see a marriage being formed with the Black Hawks. There are some other possibilities, but Andrews's comments at the State of the AHL press conference made it clear it was more of a matter of when--not if--the AHL would be in the Las Vegas area. “I think that at some point there will be an (AHL) team in Vegas, or (the Golden Knights) will own a team, but would have to happen pretty soon.”  Andrews remarked who is as cautious as NHL President Gary Bettman is regarding announcements or speculations about team transfers, relocations or disbanding. NOTES: -Wolf Pack GM and Trumbull native, Chris Drury added another piece to his executive resume as he was named to the GM post of Team USA that will play in early May at the World Championships in Zurich, Switzerland. -Now that the NHL and AHL All-Star breaks have concluded temporary roster moves for that time period have ended and movement has begun once again. Goalie Adam Huska who went 1-1 with a 1.53 GAA win and Lewis Zerter-Gossage who scored his first ECHL in his two games were returned from Portland officially Monday. Maine’s goalie Francois Brassard in a paper transaction was released from his PTO with the Wolf Pack. Conversely, officially recalled on Wednesday by the Rangers was goalie Igor Shesterkin, but I don’t think this is the last time we will see him. If Alexander Georgiev is not traded by the NHL Trade deadline (February 24th) he would likely be returned by then. The Rangers could keep him in New York till their officially eliminated from playoff contention presently the Rangers are in the seventh spot for the wild card 10 points back. Expect Shesterkin to be here when the Wolf Pack start the Calder Cup playoffs and with Igor, the Wolf Pack’s chances for a long run are significantly improved. -Other notables from the AHL All-Star Classic were two former Quinnipiac Bobcats Sam Anas (Iowa) with two goals and Brogan Rafferty (Utica) with a goal and an assist. Ex-Pack and Sound Tiger Matt Ford (Grand Rapids) scored twice. -Lias Andersson’s suspension was officially lifted and was formally reassigned to HV 71 (Sweden-SHL) for the rest of the season. -Ex-Wolf Pack Dale Weise was recalled back to Montreal from Laval, Jarred Tinordi son ex-New Haven Nighthawk Mark Tinordi was recalled by Nashville from Milwaukee, Jansen Harkins, son of former Whaler Todd Harkins was recalled to Winnipeg from Manitoba and Max Jones, son of former New Haven Nighthawk/Senators Brad Jones goes from San Diego to Anaheim. -Goalie Callum Booth (Salisbury Prep) was assigned to Atlanta (ECHL) by Charlotte. -Former UCONN Husky, Karl El-Mir was sent from Indy (ECHL) as the future consideration of a trade made last week with Greenville (ECHL). -Ex-Sound Tiger John Persson signs a deal with Brynas IF (Sweden-SHL) for the rest of the season and for 2020-21 leaving SaiPa (Finland-FEL) who were having a poor season. -Ex-Sound Tiger assistant coach Matt Bertani is an assistant coach with Team South Korea at the IIHF U-20 Division II Group B tournament being held in Gangnueng South Korea till February 3rd. -We'll be seeing a goalie named Stauber a few times over the next few years. Jaxon Stauber, son of the former Wolf Pack and Nighthawk netminder, Robb Stauber has made a commitment to Providence College (HE) next year 2020-21. The 6’3 undrafted netminder played one game with Minnesota- State Mankato Mavericks (WCHA) before suddenly returning to Sioux Falls (USHL) for this season who are the defending USHL Clark Cup champions, where he was the playoff MVP last season. Father Robb just completed his AHL honorary captain duties at the AHL All-Star Classic in Ontario, California at the Toyota Center, Sunday and Monday. -Easton Armstrong, son ex-Pack great Derek Armstrong played his first two WHL with Regina picking up a one shot on goal. Read the full article

[lliinnkk]

Love And Laughter - Dinner With A Skeleton

"Wow! Amazing! I-I wish I could d-draw like you!" Alphys exclaimed, staring in awe at the sight. "If you stick around long enough, you may even get to see the finished product as it's being made!" beamed Kirsty. "As much as I'd love Alphys to stay, she better not be too long; me and Kirsty are going-" Frisk said. Kirsty intervened at once, informing her that "it's not 'me and Kirsty'. It's Kirsty and I." "... Yeah. Right. Kirsty and I are going for dinner at the MTT Resort." "Yeah, I'm gettin' kinda bored, sitting around, watching Mettaton. Let's go home, Alphys. I'm gettin' hungry!" Undyne moaned, pulling her lizard lover out of the house. "Oh. I guess I don't really have a choice. B-bye, Kirsty! I hope I s-see you again soon!" Alphys yelled. "Bye, Alphys! Bye, Undyne!" shouted Kirsty, waving goodbye as the door closed with a bang.

"Alright, Ms Kirsty Poppy, we better get ready, 'cause we're not just going for dinner at the Mettaton Resort; we're going with Papyrus and Sans." said Frisk, pulling Kirsty onto her feet. "Oh, cool. I like Papyrus. He's really nice." smiled the girl, letting down her hair and brushing it thoroughly. "I'm glad you like him. You'll probably like Sans, too. He's real funny." the almost teen grinned. "Really? Cool! I like funny people." Kirsty commented. "Well, in that case, let's not waste time talking!"

Soon enough, the humans were in a more formal state, ready for dinner with skeletons. They smelled like lovely lavender, owned two sets each of pearly white gnashers and and had low, tied-back, brown hair.

Frisk took Kirsty through the snow, past several houses, to a nearby river. Hovering on the water was a small boat, just big enough for five people, and on it sat a hooded figure, who spoke, "Tralala. Where to today, humans?" "Hotlands, please." Frisk said, sitting on the boat with Kirsty. "Tralala. Hotlands it is then." the figure replied. The boat took off at a satisfactory speed, right away. "Hotlands?" asked Kirsty. "Yeah. There's the Ruins (where humans fall), Snowdin (where we live), Waterfall (where Undyne lives), Hotlands (where the MTT Resort is) and Tori's Castle (where the queen lives, of course). Hotlands is, obviously, very hot - so you might wanna take off that massive coat - and there lava - try not to fall in." Frisk explained, taking off Kirsty's winter coat. "Alright. Sounds fun."

Soft, tepid waves slowed to a stop as the boat ride shortly ended. Frisk and Kirsty climbed out and thanked the figure kindly. The abrupt change in atmosphere caught Kirsty off guard. She had gone from being so cold that her breath came out in great clouds of smoke like a dragon, shivering as she took each step and watching as she turned into Kirsty The Red-nosed Human to being so hot that she had the sudden urge to strip off completely - which she would have, had there not've been people strolling along the sweltering streets. Kirsty now started to sweat and she took off her GEEK jacket, tying it around her waist.

"Haha!" laughed Frisk. "I told you it was hot!" "I don't think I like this heat." the teen chuckled. "I hope it's not this hot in the resort." "Oh, nah. They're kind enough to have air conditioning." Frisk clarified, giggling happily as her friend breathed a sigh of relief.

The two of them walked along the rocky path, chatting about people and places, dodging the bursts and bubbles of lava that the pools shot at them, making their way towards the hotel - a large, blue building, which read 'MTT' above the glass door. Unprecedented changes in the air became frequent to Kirsty; she made a mental not to always expect the unexpected. The cool breeze from Snowdin had followed her to the resort like a dog to it's caring owner and this fact lifted their spirits (and their coats onto the trustworthy coat hanger near the entrance). Wet from the overflowing Mettaton fountain, the floor they danced over was a perfect, brilliant gold. The only thing terrible about the place was the staff; an orange cat cashier could be seen stealing money from the till, not even trying to be subtle or secretive about it.

Frisk took Kirsty to him, asking if he'd seen two skeletons pass through. He replied with, "Yeah. A tall one and a short one. You with them, little buddy?" "Yeah, we are. Thanks, BP." said Frisk, dragging Kirsty away. "Any time, little buddy." he nodded. "'BP'?" asked the teen. "It stands for Burger Pants. That's what everybody calls 'im. Don't ask why." Frisk chortled. "Well, what's his real name?" "Er... Dunno."

The restaurant had a stage at one wall and a multitude of round tables in a range of sizes. Neat tablecloths were thrown onto them, cutlery set out tidily, chairs tucked in, a single candle on every surface - 'This is certainly a place worth admiring.' thought Kirsty. "There they are!" Frisk pointed out. What with there being only a few people in the room and the monsters in question were having trouble with not standing out, there was really no need to point them out, 'but, whatever floats your boat, I guess.' shrugged Kirsty. "Hey, Papyrus! Hey, Sans!" There, right in front of the stage, sitting next to each other at a table for four, was Papyrus and his brother, Sans.

Papyrus was still in his 'battle body' - a red scarf, red gloves and red boots - a kind of formal outfit. His brother, on the other hand, was quite the opposite - everything-wise, apart from the fact that they're both skeletons, of course. Sans was short and wore a blue hoodie, a white sweater, a pair of black and white, striped shorts and sneakers. He leaned back in his chair, half-asleep, while Papyrus sat politely upright.

When they heard the humans coming, Papyrus waved excitedly. Sans lifted an eyelid, then the other. His eyes - if he had any - widened. "Papyrus," he whispered. "you said she was pretty, but I had no idea she was this...beautiful." "She is, isn't she? Quite a pretty picture." Papyrus nodded in agreement.

The humans took their seats at the table, Kirsty shuffling the cutlery about until she saw it fit her liking. She looked Sans up and down, deciding that he was just another person to add to the Crowd Of Gawping People. "Hello, humans!" grinned Papyrus. "I was wondering when you were going to come." "Sorry if we were late." Frisk apologised. "Actually, I think it was just that they were a bit early." explained Kirsty. "Ah." said Frisk. "Well, in that case, not sorry." "Oh... Um... I didn't... Okay." Kirsty stammered. "Hehe. It's okay. It was a joke, yeah?" said Frisk. "Uh... Yeah." replied Kirsty.

"So, anyway, Kirsty, this is Sans. Sans, this is Kirsty. She's the newest human, but you probably already knew that. Go ahead, Kirsty, shake his hand." urged Frisk, grinning at the skeleton. Sans offered the girl his hand, but she was quick enough to uncover the prank, pointing out a hidden whoopie cushion. "Heh. You're pretty observant, huh?" he laughed, stuffing the failed joke in his pocket and properly shaking her hand, forgetting to let go. "Thanks... Can I have my hand back now?" asked Kirsty, shyly. His grip was firm, yet kind. She almost enjoyed it. "What...? Er... Oh. Yeah, sure." Sans let go, faintly blushing. "Sans!" Papyrus hissed. "Don't embarrass yourself in front of the human! At least try to make a good first impression!" Sans shrugged, staring at his hand.

"Yeah, Sans is pretty good at the jokes. Do you know any good ones?" asked Frisk. "Um... Knock knock." said Kirsty. "Oh, God! Please, don't!" cried Papyrus. "Who's there?" Sans asked, ignoring Papyrus' begging. "To." Kirsty replied. "To who?" "No, it's 'to whom', actually." Frisk and Sans chuckled; Papyrus rolled his eyes, scowling. "That was a good one!" Frisk cheered. "I'm not as good at telling jokes as Sans is. Why don't you tell one?" "Uh... Erm... I..." stuttered Sans, at a loss for words.

However, before he could say anything, his younger brother called to a waiter and ordered the staff to surprise them. He said, crossing his arms, that he "just had to put an end to the disgusting topic", as it was making him more and more uncomfortable.

Papyrus and Frisk then began talking non-stop about food and the cooking lessons with Undyne. Apparently, Undyne and Frisk - but mostly Undyne - had set her whole house ablaze when they were cooking spaghetti together (turns out, the final product wasn't actually half bad). She then had to live with Papyrus and Sans until her house was put back together again. They had a lot of fun. At this point, Kirsty chose to switch off again. She allowed herself to daydream as she waited for an MTT Meal. The imaginative cogs in her brain whirred into motion, running as quick as a nice cube in Hell.

The images of future sleepovers with her future besties, Alphys and Frisk, roamed the vast complexity of her mind. They attacked each other with playful pillow fights, toyed with subjects not to be messed about with, roasted marshmallows over the fire in the lounge, played truth or dare, and talked about cute boys (or girls) they took an interest in, all whilst having a whale of a time - and whales do make some noise, so, of course, they did too. Bang! Slam! Boom! Clap! No one got rest on the nights they spent together (not even them). Was there any better way to have a sleepover with your possible BFFs? Ah, yes! Movies! Now this was a practically perfect party. And, if it wasn't, Kirsty was filled with perseverance to make sure it was.

As her mind wandered, so did her eyes - they, themselves, seemed to have a mind of their own. They drifted about the room, travelling from the ceiling to the floor, from the cutlery to the door, and from one person to the other. Soon, Kirsty found herself staring blankly at Sans, who sat opposite her, staring back. It felt as if they were having a staring contest, but neither really cared for winning. They stayed like this for almost a minute, before Kirsty managed to shake herself out of the magic spell, without stopping to wonder if their moment meant anything.

Frisk found Kirsty sitting on the cream sofa, looking into the fire in her pyjamas. The evening had gone smoothly. The food was delicious and she hadn't spoken much, but how could she when others kept babbling about somewhat unrelated subjects? Sans held her hand on the way to Snowdin, but she no one ever thought anything of it. Papyrus and Frisk held hands, so why couldn't they? Her hair was freely falling down her shoulders, her fringe persistent to veil her sleepy, emerald green eyes. She hugged her knees, mesmerised by the dancing flames, letting out a tired yawn as Frisk sat beside her.

"So, what do you think?" asked the twelve year old. "Of the Underground, I mean." "Good." Kirsty replied. "I'll explore it tomorrow. It seems interesting, all these different places. I bet there'll be different people there... They're all really different...really confident...not afraid to be who they are... That's my favourite part..."

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