#i have aphantasia if you couldnt tell already
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I set out to develop an oc trying to figure out how to make a green color palette interesting when I don't vibe with how it'd look on armor (im sorry boba fett...) & messing with character creator picrews suddenly lead to a gold and white palette and now she's a yellow character instead of green. The pipeline
#“why do you make things hard for yourself” BECAUSE I CANT STOP COLOR CODING MY CHARACTERS I KNOW I HATE IT TOO#this one in particular is a botanist/planetologist so like. yes nature. very much nature. solarpunk#but also a mandalorian. and her armor design FRUSTRATES ME. yes you guessed it. because of COLOR#hhbbhhhhhbh im struggling with this oc for five years now. five years#at this point im like a 90% sure she's an air sign. particularly aquarius#she just does not want to take shape and stick with one thing#“i could go with gold and green-- no wait thats mcu loki. dont like that”#i have aphantasia if you couldnt tell already#also she has hair like rogue from x-men so you can imagine brown and white hair contradict EVERYTHING it doesnt look good with ggreen😭#i hate this girl. just be something already im begging#shai.txt
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wait i might have actually lucid dreamed. wait.
so i was having this dream and it started at work. after a bit I began to notice something where the furniture wasnt right, like two coffee machines or my literal own personal wardrobe just. standing there. then, somehow they said it was friday evening, which isnt possible since i KNOW i have important irl stuff then. So i was trying to figure out if i was correct in the incorrectness. i started telling the supervisors that this wasnt correct and that the dates are wrong (not really the best decision in hindsight i think). they were looking at me like i was stupid and insane, so i just tried to wake up. which actually worked. wth.
#during the furniture realization i tried to make levi come in for. reasons :). but that didnt work.#i only really tried to manipulate it at that moment i think. after that it all became too hectic unfortunately =w=pp#i couldnt actually controle anything i think. maybe that takes practise/time. i wont even know if/when it happens agian. i'll see.#i dont have a mind eye; if i try to imagine an apple or whetever i can think about it but it doesnt form an image. if you get that.#aphantasia. if your familiar with that#thats what makes me scared bc. maybe i just cannot change the dream due to my lack of visualisation. no matter how hard i try.#i have never actually tried to lucid dream so this is a fucking suprise.#it feels SO real i thought i was going irl insane bc. maybe i just took my wardrobe to work or something idk??#maybe i just didnt go to my own graduation??#i was already crazy bc the 'workload' i was given was actually WAY to much for just me.#sillyposting#WILD to experience. let me tell you#i can also recall everything very well (which i rarely can). idk if thats bc of the lucidness or bc i just woke up...#... during the dreamcycle-segment that makes remembering easier.#maybe its a combo where i was able to wake up thanks to the lucidness + it being in the remembering part of the cycle#idk =w=b
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