#i have born male characters with large breasts. some others just 'pass' as women naturally (traps imo) (they're my ocs so it's fine)

[aph-estonia]

healing means being so confused on how to deal with the ocs you made while being so deeply mentally ill. i would scrap them but now i'm too emotionally attached to them

[simplyoriginalcharacters]

Shoji Daichi

Basic Information:

Shoji, who is given the nicknames Ji (from his honorary brothers) and Daichi (from one of his honorary sisters, though this is only used for a while), is a sixteen year old male. He is unsure of sexual/romantic orientation, but definitely has a preference for guys, but also feels attraction toward females - he has not had time to test these out. Born during April, he had no occupation.

Associations:

His alignment is neutral good, and has no affiliations with groups or organisations other than his friends.

Relationships:

His entire family has regrettably passed, but he has an honorary family, with no parents but with siblings. One of these people is a possible love interest. He has two honorary older sisters, Mio Emi (of nineteen years) and Chiruka (of sixteen years, and she has no known surname), an honorary older brother, Isamu Sosa (of seventeen years), who is also a possible love interest, an honorary younger sister, Ayumi Hiraki (of fifteen years) and an honorary younger brother, Kitani Tadiyuki (of fourteen years). His honorary brothers are also his best friends, having known them for a long time. When asked about his relationship status, Shoji will insist he’s single, but it’s most likely complicated. He has a good, strong, platonic relationship with the girls in a sisterly fashion.

Appearance:

Shoji is 6'1, and is thin. His skin is pale, he has waist-length, blue hair that is lighter than artic blue, narrow admiral blue eyes and, inherited from his family, naturally feminine features, such as his chest being slightly larger to give off the impression he has breasts, his voice somewhat feminine and the texture and length of his hair being associated with females. He has long, narrow eyebrows, slender lips, thin limbs with a slight curve on his elbows and knees and under his thighs, slightly curvy hips and slender fingers, his nails slightly longer than average.

Personality:

Quiet, calm, dangerously protective, chill, sort of possessive and stubborn are a handful of Shoji’s traits - he knows when to hold his tongue, but his protective side goes to the extent of self-destruction. He wishes to survive as of now, but his long term ambition is to own and run a coffee shop (this possibly stems from his love of coffee, drinking it being a hobby). He tends to avoid sleep, as his motto is ‘Sleep is for the weak’ and, on top of drinking coffee, he likes to stay up late. He is motivated by his honorary family, and the lives of his actual family. He has a talent in running, and is skilled at protecting his two honorary brothers.

Notes:

Shoji, though not easily embarrassed, will get flustered and defensive if someone calls attention to his obsessive love and addiction to coffee, but his source of pride comes from something pretty basic - praise. His role model is his uncle, despite the other’s life being lost, and that ties in with his secret - he betrayed his family, and that betrayal caused them to later lose their lives. His most influential memory is most likely meeting Isamu and Kitani - and his crush… it’s complicated.

(He is from an anime that I once dreamt up and developed with my friends, thus the odd hair colour and Japanese names.)

Hello! I’m Kim, and I’ll be reviewing your profile. Since you don’t list any specific concerns, I’ll start from the top and work through the sections in order.

I’m not familiar with Japanese nickname conventions, but I’m a little curious where his nicknames came from. Also, how does he feel about the respective nicknames, and how does he respond when people who don’t usually use them call him either nickname? For his romantic and sexual orientation, it’s more than fine that he isn’t sure exactly what his preferences are, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that a person doesn’t need to test out their orientation to know that they’re attracted to people of certain genders.

For his associations, I don’t know much about his background or the world in which he lives, but usually people who work or go to school are affiliated with some sort of organization or group, just by virtue of humans being a very social species. Also, it’s good to know that his alignment is neutral good as a starting point, but I would encourage you to think more fully about how that manifests in his character, and the limits of this alignment.

As for his relationships, I’m not sure of the backstory behind his family passing other than what you say later in the profile, but how close was he to the family that died? How have their deaths affected him and his current relationships? Did the members of his honorary family know his family that died? Also, how do the people in his honorary family support themselves? They’re still of the age that they’d likely be in school, so how do they take care of themselves, and do the things that they do to survive put a strain on their relationships? More generally, how does he act in each relationship, and how is he different from relationship to relationship? While people have some consistencies that exist no matter whom they’re with, there are always mannerisms that they’ll try to avoid or topics that they won’t breach depending on the person—and, conversely, things and topics that they’ll feel comfortable enough to bring up.

For his appearance, I’m a little confused when you say “naturally feminine features,” since women have a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and appearances. What do you mean by him having a larger chest? When I first read it, I thought you meant he was barrel-chested, which is a trait anyone can have, and it’s not indicative of any specific gender. Do you mean he has large pectoral muscles which give off the impression of him having breasts? Since he’s slim, he probably wouldn’t have the fat reserves in the fat cells in his chest to give off the impression of having breasts. Also, I’m confused by your description of him having a feminine voice and feminine hair texture and length. Women aren’t a monolith, so a little more specific description would be helpful in being able to picture Shoji.

Because I don’t know much about his backstory, I can’t give much informed critique on his personality. However, I’m curious about his motivations. What does they motivate him to do within the story, and why? Do the deaths of his birth family have a direct connection to what he’s doing now? I don’t know how they died, so I don’t quite have a grasp on what this means to him and the extent to which it shapes his behavior. I’m also a little surprised that the deaths of his family aren’t an influential memory for him. As for his uncle, does his uncle know that Shoji sees him as a role model? How have the deaths of their other family members affected their relationship? The situation as a whole seems a lot more nuanced and complicated than what’s given in the profile. How does his uncle feel about Shoji’s betrayal? And how does the guilt of indirectly killing his family affect Shoji? 

As a quick aside, I know that you need to differentiate between families somehow, but the implication of your current word choice is that people who are not members of one’s birth family are not really their family, which isn’t true. Family is about more than blood relations.

My final note is about his source of pride. I know a lot of pride can come from external praise, but for Shoji, what is the praise for? And to what extent is he proud of what he’s able to do intrinsically?

If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask. Best of luck writing!

Yours, Kim