smileviera

[draconym]

I'm starting to wonder if maybe Hanukkah is my favorite holiday.

[rosefyrefyre]

Hey Rose, aside from Chanukah, what are some other ways to show that Darcy is Jewish? Thank you!

So this depends on a few things, including how religious you think Darcy is.  Everything I’m saying applies to any character, btw, but I’m tailoring my responses to a young unmarried Jewish woman living in NYC with primarily non-Jewish friends, which - hey - I’ve got plenty of experience with!

Options include:

Holidays

Hanukkah (Chanukah is fine, transliteration from Hebrew is weird) is obviously a big one, but it’s not the only one.  

Darcy is very likely to know when certain holidays are.  The big ones are Shabbat, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, and Passover.  If she’s one step more observant, she’ll at least remember (if not observe) Sukkot, Sh’mini Atzeret, Simchat Torah, Purim, Shavuot, and Tisha B’Av.  She may or may not remember yahrzheits, Tu B’Shvat, Yom HaAtzmaut, and Yom HaShoah.  Unless you’re making her super religious, she is highly unlikely to pay attention to Rosh Chodesh (the start of the month), the ten days of repentance, Tzom Gedalia, the tenth of Tevet, the fast of Esther, and the 17th of Tamuz.

Technically, in Judaism, the major holidays are Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, and the shalosh regalim (three holidays) of Sukkot, Passover, and Shavuot, with everything else being a minor holiday, but that’s not really how it shakes out for modern American Jews of Darcy’s age - Hanukkah and Purim especially get elevated while Sukkot and Shavuot especially get lowered.

She will also observe American holidays.  Her family almost certainly has Thanksgiving traditions and she may have established traditions for Halloween, Christmas, New Year’s, and July 4th as well.  Halloween, Thanksgiving, and July 4th are celebrated like any other American family with the possible addition of keeping kosher - I’ll discuss those rules in the food section.  Christmas is often celebrated by going to a movie and eating Chinese food.  New Year’s is identical to other Americans.

So let’s talk the five big holidays in detail.  For dates and some more information, I strongly suggest this website, and if you have questions about what the options do, always feel free to ask.

You can debate all you want about whether Shabbat counts as a holiday, but it certainly counts as a holy day, so we’re including it.  Shabbat is the sabbath, and is traditionally celebrated by doing no work from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday.  (All Jewish days start at sundown and end at sundown.)  You light candles, say blessings over wine, handwashing, and bread, and have family meals, especially on Friday night, and services at synagogue are bigger than they are during the week.  Darcy may or may not have found a synagogue she likes in NYC, and she may or may not have attended one at home.  But she will think of Friday/Saturday as the sabbath, not Sunday.

Now, no work includes no electronics.  Darcy…does not strike me as the type to give those up for a day every week.  And honestly, unless she grew up either Orthodox or on the very far observant end of Conservative, she probably wouldn’t have growing up - I didn’t, for example, but my friend the rabbi’s daughter did, so when we played on Shabbat, we didn’t use electronics or money or any number of other things.  She still may have traditions she likes to follow.  I know that I don’t do the full Shabbat experience when I’m alone in my apartment, but if I’m home, I light candles on Friday night.  That’s one of my observances.  When I was a kid I went to synagogue every Saturday morning with my family; when I was in college I went to the college group every Friday night.  So even if Darcy doesn’t really observe it, she’ll still think of it as Shabbat.

Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur fall between September 4th and October 12th.  They’re the most likely days for Jews to go to synagogue.  You know how you get Christians who attend church only on Christmas and Easter?  Jews do that on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.  

Rosh Hashana is the Jewish new year, and is celebrated with round challahs, apples and honey (round foods symbolize the continuation of the year and the world - birth of the world - while honey is in honor of a sweet new year), synagogue, and family meals.  Darcy’s family likely has specific traditions - I see my mom’s brother and his kids every year for dinner during Rosh Hashana, as an example, and brisket and matzah ball soup always get served.  Darcy may or may not do much for Rosh Hashana, but as an example of a small thing, she might always eat an apple dipped in honey that day.

Yom Kippur is the day of atonement, and it is the holiest day in the Jewish calendar.  There are two major fast days (Yom Kippur and Tisha B’Av) and five minor fast days (Tzom Gedalia, the tenth of Tevet, Ta’anit Esther, the fast of the first born, and the 17th of Tamuz) in the Jewish calendar, but if a Jew does only one of them, it’s this one.  And by the way, the definition of a Jewish fast is no food AND no water - in a major fast, from sundown to sundown, while a minor fast lasts from sunup to sundown.  I personally only observe the one, while my stepfather, who’s a step more religious than I am, observes the two major.  You have to be either very observant or Orthodox to do the minors, in my experience.

Yom Kippur will likely also have food traditions - in my family, we eat a very simple meal (chicken, plain noodles, and broccoli) before the holiday, and bagels and lox to break the fast.  When the fast ends depends on your observance level - technically it’s sundown, but less observant Jews will push it earlier.  If you are under the age of 13 or have a medical condition (including pregnancy or nursing) you are not expected to do a full fast, though you may be expected to give something up - no sweets, for example.  Kids generally slowly get used to it over a period of years, and fully fast for the first time when they’re in their teens.

Hanukkah you already know some about, but I can reiterate a bit here.  It falls between November 27th and January 2nd, though usually it’s mostly in December.  The tradition is foods fried in oil - which especially means latkes (potato pancakes).  Darcy will have opinions on if latkes are better with applesauce or sour cream (applesauce is better, imo).  Sufganiyot (jelly donuts) and gelt (chocolate coins) are also common.  Darcy may or may not have her own menorah (I can’t remember if I brought one to college, but I have one in my apartment for sure) and may or may not light it every night.  There’s also the dreidel game, which is kind of boring if you’re not a kid or playing with kids, so unless Darcy is trying to share traditions with the Avengers, she likely won’t play it and probably won’t even own a dreidel.

Passover, which can fall between March 25th and May 1st (usually April), is the big family home holiday.  To celebrate, you do a seder (a ceremonial meal with a whole bunch of steps and telling the story and stuff) on both the first and second nights (unless you’re in Israel but let’s not get into that complication).  There will be a lot of blessings, telling the story of Passover (in English or Hebrew), discussion of the same points that people argue over every single freaking year (I’m looking at you, four children), a very large meal with a lot of specific foods, and singing.  Lots of singing.  Probably offkey singing.

If Darcy’s going to go back to her parents for one holiday, this is the likely one, unless she’s got a specific reason to go home for the others.  

The other thing about Passover is it lasts eight days, and it has extra food rules.  On top of the usual rules of keeping kosher (I’ll discuss those in a bit), you don’t eat bread or anything made with leavening (cookies, cakes, etc.).  A lot of Jews also don’t eat kitniyot - corn, legumes (including soy, beans, peas, and peanuts), or rice, but that’s shifting - not eating them is becoming less common.  Darcy may or may not keep kosher for Passover at all, and she may or may not keep it the whole holiday.  But if she hosts a seder or attends a seder, it WILL be kosher for Passover even if it’s not regular kosher (I have a friend whose family has been known to serve shrimp at their seders but they’d never even consider serving bread).

Traditional Passover foods include: wine (lots and lots and lots of wine), green vegetables (often parsley/celery) dipped in salt water, matzah, maror (horseradish), charoset (a yummy dish made of apples, walnuts, and wine or grape juice mixed together - a lot of people include cinnamon and some go for more exotic varieties), and hard boiled eggs.  Lamb used to be common but it’s less common now, and what meat her family eats could be any number of things - but they likely have one thing they do every year, if not more than one.  My family always does turkey for one meal, my brother-in-law’s family always does brisket.  Matzah ball soup is likely.

Darcy may or may not attend a seder while in NYC, but if she doesn’t, she’ll probably feel the lack.  In some ways, this is the central ritual of Judaism.

I’m not going to go hardcore into the minor holidays, but we do need to discuss yahrzheits.  Those are basically death anniversaries.  If a close family member (defined as a parent, sibling, spouse, or child) dies, a Jew is required to say a specific prayer (kadish) for them for a period of time (30 days for spouse/sibling/child, 11 months for a parent - yes I mean 11, not 12, and it’s Hebrew months, not English), and on five days of every year for the rest of their lives.  Those five days are the yahrzheit (Hebrew anniversary of the death), Yom Kippur, Sh’mini Atzeret, the eighth day of Passover, and the second day of Shavuot.  Darcy will almost certainly not do this for most family members, including grandparents.  But if she had a sibling or parent die (spouse and child are unlikely in most fics), she may for them.  I do for my dad - I at least say kaddish for my dad on these days, even if I don’t make it to synagogue, though I try to get to synagogue.  Technically you’re only supposed to say kaddish in a minyan (group of ten Jewish adults, men only if you’re Orthodox but screw that, I count women too and so do Reform and Conservative Judaism), but I’d rather say it improperly than not say it at all.  

Food

On to food!

Darcy may or may not keep kosher, and honestly, unless she’s really observant, it’s highly unlikely for her to keep fully kosher.  

Main rules of keeping kosher:

No mixing meat and milk (some people extend this to waiting after meat before eating milk, because they mix in your stomach) (birds and mammals count as meat, fish counts as parve aka neither meat nor milk, yes I know it’s contradictory and confusing)

Only fish with fins and scales (no shellfish, no eel, no shark, you can debate swordfish because it has scales in some stages but not others)

Only mammals that chew their cud AND have cloven hooves (generally this means beef, lamb, venison are all fine, but pork definitely isn’t and neither are less commonly eaten mammals)

Even if it’s a kosher animal, it must have been killed kosherly and be certified

All food must be certified kosher

Darcy is not likely to keep all of these rules (that last one…no).  Darcy may not keep any of these rules, but she also may keep some.  There are layers within this.  I, for example, don’t eat unkosher animals (no pork or shrimp) but am not super careful about checking at restaurants (I’m sure I’ve had a hot dog with pork in it before).  I also eat kosher animals (chicken, beef) that have been killed in unkosher ways, but not on my dishes, which are kosher.  I don’t mix meat and milk directly (no cheese on my burgers) but am not super careful when eating out (I don’t check that a bun has no milk before eating it with my burger) and definitely don’t wait between meat and milk.  

Darcy may have grown up not keeping kosher at all and chosen to stay that way, or may have chosen to go more kosher (my mom did).  She also may have grown up keeping completely kosher and chosen to stay that way, or may have tossed it entirely (my sister grew up completely kosher at home and now eats anything).  She also may have started in the middle and moved in any direction.

A note for this: kosher meat is expensive.  Seriously.  Kosher restaurants are even more so.  Kosher for Passover restaurants are practically highway robbery.

Either way, Darcy’s family food traditions may lean American or Jewish, and a lot of that will depend on where you put her growing up.  But food is an integral part of Jewish life (there’s a joke that every Jewish holiday boils down to “they tried to kill us, they failed, let’s eat”, which is an exaggeration, though not much of one), so this is an easy place to put stuff.  Give her a love for bagels and lox.  Have her make brisket on holidays.  Say it’s not a real Shabbat without a challah.  Give her a taste for gefilte fish.  Have her insist on matzah ball soup at certain times of the year.  Make matzah brei a comfort food.

Not quite food but related: the main blessing before meals is the motzi, which is what you say over bread.  Darcy probably doesn’t say this at any point other than a Shabbat dinner.  There’s also benching, which is grace after meals.  Darcy may or may not do this at family meals and big meals, but she’s unlikely to do it after every meal, especially when she’s on her own.

Other Jewish Life

Darcy is almost certainly not Orthodox, based purely on her appearance in the films.  Basically?  She’s wearing pants.  Orthodox women do not wear pants, and generally wear skirts that cover their knees and shirts that cover their elbows.  Some Orthodox women cover their hair after marriage, ranging from headscarfs to wigs (their husband can see their hair and other women and children can, but not other adult men).  This is unlikely to be the case for Darcy.

When in college, Darcy probably at least knew about, even if she didn’t belong to, Culver’s Hillel - its Jewish student organization.  They would’ve done at least the major holidays and some of the minor ones (Purim’s a popular one, considering it’s pretty much dressing up in costumes, eating hamantashen [triangle cookies filled with various yummy things but mainly fruit jelly stuff], drinking [you are literally supposed to get drunk], and listening to people read the megillah [which takes about an hour] and booing whenever Haman’s name is mentioned - it’s like if you smushed Halloween and St. Patrick’s Day into one holiday).  They may have had a latke-hamantashen debate, which is always fun.  They probably did at least some Shabbat dinners, if not every week.

It’s a lot harder to find a Jewish community as an unmarried twenty-something with no kids, but synagogues in NYC are focusing on that age group more than they used to, so Darcy may or may not have attended some events.  She probably doesn’t actually belong to a synagogue unless she actually goes every week, but she also may have one or two she’s likely to go to when she does go.

When she goes, she may or may not wear a kippah (yarmulke) or a tallit (prayer shawl).  As a woman, neither is required, but I know a lot of modern women who prefer to when they pray.  She will likely dress a little more conservatively for synagogue than she would otherwise (be more likely to wear a skirt, for example).

Darcy probably at least went to synagogue occasionally as a kid, and may have had some level of Jewish education.  This can range from once a week (if she’s Reform) to three times a week (common in Conservative) to going to a day school (also common in Conservative but even more so in Orthodox, takes the place of regular school, teaches both regular subjects and Jewish ones).  The last is more common in certain areas of the country, and may not be at all accessible in others.  If she went to day school, she’ll read and speak at least some Hebrew (fluency is unlikely unless she went all the way through high school), but if she didn’t and just went to Hebrew school, she’ll have less - but she’ll still know some words and be able to at least read the letters.

She also may or may not have attended a Jewish sleepaway camp, where you go for either one or two months.  Those are more likely to be kosher, and even the less observant ones usually do at least Friday night or Saturday morning services for the whole camp every week.

Darcy may or may not have a mezuzah on her apartment door.  It’s a small scroll you hang on the doorframe - you’re supposed to do it in every room, but a lot of people only do one for the house/apartment.  They come in all sorts of fun shapes/colors.

She may have attended Jewish weddings and may want certain customs in her own wedding (assuming you want to write one).  There are a ton of these and if you want more details, you can ask, but the traditions range from breaking a glass to a specific unveiling to being lifted on chairs to benching after the meal.  And there are tons more.  It all depends on what the couple does.

If she’s attended a family funeral, it’s likely been Jewish, and included customs from shiva (sitting and mourning for seven days) to specific prayers to ways of burial.  If it’s a close relative, she may occasionally visit the grave (I go to Dad’s once a year, Mom goes two or three times a year, but I only visit my grandparents’ graves when I happen to be in Cleveland).  Ask me for more details if you want to include a Jewish funeral or grave visit.

Names!  Darcy is not a traditionally Jewish name, but she may be named after someone.  In Judaism, you only name after people who are already dead, but multiple people may be named after the same dead person - my father’s cousins include Phillip, Phyllis, Francine, Francine, and Frances, who are all named after their grandmother Feiga.  But the two Francines are not named after each other.  Darcy could be named after a David, for example.  She may also have a middle name that’s more directly after someone, or have a meaning associated with it.  Her Hebrew name may sound like her English name, but it may also be totally unrelated (i.e. it could be Dara or Dina or it could be Tzipporah or Ayelet) and that might be after someone even if the English isn’t.  If she’s named after someone (which is likely even in a tangential sense), she will know who she is named after (my five year old niece and nephew can tell you that his middle name is Abraham after mommy’s daddy and her middle name is Evandra after grandpa’s daddy Eugene).

As you may have noticed, I’ve used a bunch of Hebrew/Yiddish words in this post.  This is also likely how Darcy will refer to certain things - she’ll go to a seder, not a Passover meal, though she might explain it to a non-Jew after she automatically says the Hebrew word.  

In conclusion, there are a lot of options, depending on how observant you want to make both her and her family, and they range quite a bit!  So feel free to use any of these or ask if something else would be plausible!