#i have suchh a weird relationship with weight i have just realized this recently
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My body will be like *takes 6 months to gain 1 kg* *loses it in 2 days*
#i have suchh a weird relationship with weight i have just realized this recently#my mother used to call me fat when i was young even though I've been underweight like forever#mostly jokingly because i am a snack enjoyer. but also not jokingly. a topic for another time#but i really internalized that#when i was living with my roommate who had a weighing scale i was in constant constant dread#like if i went from 45 to 45.9 I'd sweat and go like oh god i am fat oh god i am fat i won't eat for a week#but also i hate when people try to show concern about my weight#like it feels so invasive#and my friends who have seen me eat know i eat a whole ass meal even bigger than men#so it's not like im unhealthy i eat my veggies i eat my fruits#my body doesn't like gaining weight#and admittedly i prefer thar#but not my fault#recently my poor nerves...#they have made eating very hard i am deeply anxious
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