#i havent finished any paintings as of right meow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mollydollyjournals · 3 years

Text

What to do. Executive dysfunction is strong. I'm starting therapy next Friday not tomorrow, which is annoying because getting to tomorrow is difficult enough let alone next week. Also I have some social stuff happening next weekend so in terms of stuff to break up the time and keep me going, I really could have done with something this week and I wont need anything else next week. But that's life I guess. Just like buses.

Today though. Now. I still don't know. My giant old man cat is asleep next to me. I want to get him out of the room so I can smoke but I dont want to disturb him. And my cats are about all the physical contact I get these days. Sometimes when I kick him out he brings a toy mouse to my bedroom door then sits there meowing until I let him back in. He already has abandonment issues from a previous owner. We really are alike.

I started watching Crash Course on youtube again and I'm partway through the psychology playlist. Unsurprisingly I skipped ahead after a point so I could go straight to mental disorders. I could keep going through that but I guess it depends on whether I want to think about all that stuff in abstract. I could watch the AI series. Learn about AI somewhere else. Or cybernetics. Look into studying it for real, but that feels pointless knowing I cant actually commit to a study program right now. Finish the K drama I'm watching. Start another one. Rewatch Avatar, again. Rewatch Berserk, again. Practise drawing. Paint something, probably digitally since I cba to deal with cleaning up real paints. Watch any of the movies that have been on my watch list forever since I dont remember the last time I watched a movie. Evangelion 3+1, The Fall, the last season of Vikings since I havent watched that. Try to find something to read that'll hold my interest. More memoirs? I wish Nagata Kabi had more stuff out. Write my own? Pointless if it's not to be published and read. Might as well vent my bits and pieces here and in my sketchpads like usual.

I need to do multiple things at once as well. Draw and watch, something like that. Draw and play music? Is that enough to stop me thinking? Fuck knows. I hate my brain.

0 notes