#i hope this is not too bad in grammar or smth because English is my second language

[williamverse]

There was a storm during my first journey to Dunwall. Thick dark clouds covering the skies, waves crushing into ship's sides. Standing on the ship's deck, I've witnessed something I'll never forget: a Leviathan, rising from the water's surface. It felt like for that spare moment the time had stopped. A giant whale-like creature cut through the water with his fins, glistening against the cloudy sky with his dark skin. Seagulls looked like nothing but countless specks floating around him. His powerful body was covered in countless scars with the sight of which I wondered: how many of them were left by other animals and how many - by humans? Beneath his skin - fat, powering his huge body. Hundreds of other whales were killed for that precious fat, later to be turned into whale oil, that would soon power one of the ships like the one I was boarding. But he was still alive, with his power still flowing through his body, only for him to use. How many nets has he torn? How many hooks had grappled his flesh and than torn out of it with a mighty tail's swing? How will he die: in whalers' hands, getting his flesh turned into food and his fat turned into fuel, or will he die of age, turning his body into a home for a new ecosystem? I saw his eyes, full of pain and hatred, but also of intelligence.

He had enough power to turn over the ship and drown everyone boarding it. But he didn't do that, diving back into the water and swimming away instead. Maybe, if he was trying to avenge himself and other whales, driven by hatred, he wouldn't be any better than humans? I didn't think about that back then, not how I think about it now, after all those years of trial my fate has set for me. In this realm I inherited Leviathan's philosophy.

[Excerpt from Lord-Protector's memoirs - by Corvo Attano]

[twopoppies]

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

[magic-marvin-protection-patrol]

the whole "taking Anti seriously" discourse that's happening, I mean, memeing doesn't mean we don't take him seriously, in fact, MAYBE WE TAKE HIM TOO SEROUSLY. Also a lot of people want Anti to stay evil as he is and I get it, I love it too but now I kind of feel bad being one of the people who still have a tiny hope for Good!Anti getting a redemption arc or smth. I just... smile at the idea of a happy ending and everyone getting along and I feel like hoping for that is somehow wrong now (1/2)

(2/2) I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm ranting, like I said I live the Evil Anti concept too and everyone who thinks it should stay this way has the right to think so of course!! I'm just... feeling a bit guilty about still imagining what a good-hearted Anti would be like and kind of hoping for it to happen for some reason and I needed to get this out and you're always so nice and sweet I just went straight to your blog. Again, sorry if this sounda like a rant, Ily. 

It’s alrighty sweetie! You are ok to express your views and opinions about Anti.

Ok, so I haven’t fully addressed myself my thoughts about this whole dilemma, which I found out very late today since I have been out of tumblr almost all day because of work and projects.

Ok so here I go:From what I understood from Jack, apparently Anti is been reference a bit too much on the channel and seems to have lost his “charm” (in terms of scary, etc.). He says it’s partly his fault because he reblogs posts about Anti memes and stuff. And that he is gonna have a small hiatus with Anti to then make a comeback with him to do something bigger to kill us all yeah thanks.

I see where you are coming from sweetie. From what I see, there are two sides about Anti, the ones that want Anti to remain evil and the other that wants him to have a redemption arc. Maybe there’s a middle ground, idk. Anyways, it’s completely ok for you and others to follow that redemption arc idea. We all have our own ideas for Anti that aren’t completely identical to Jack’s vision of Anti. We have to remember that Jack also tries to involve as many interpretations of Anti into what he does with him along with his own vague ideas. And even if they aren’t canon or disproven, it isn’t bad to still go along with them! I also understand Jack saying that maybe the memes might have gotten too far with Anti. In any case, don’t feel guilty about having that idea about Anti and don’t let anyone shut you down for it.

I’m gonna go and share my own opinion about Anti to get that out of way too.I love bad guys, I absolutely love villains, especially really evil ones like Dark and Anti. especially well written and mysterious ones, like again, Dark and Anti. I always loved dark characters, criminal type movies and shows, mysteries and thrillers (horror depends because I can get too logical and completely destroy those movies aaaa). i’m not a theorist and I don’t like to share much of my ideas because shyness, anxiety, and I have had bad experiences when I had shared ideas before. But with Dark, and especially Anti, it has made me go out of this bubble and actually theorize even if i suck at it. I respect Mark and Jack so much for establishing such powerful and amazing character building with Dark and Anti. this is why I love them so much [Dark and Anti], their stories are amazing and we don’t have much to go on! Trust me, I will always fear Anti. Actually, afer the video “KILL JACKSEPTICEYE”, Anti just gives me anxiety, like real anxiety. Which sucks since it kind of ruins my experience when watching those videos, but damn he is scary to me. I want him [Anti] and other characters to not appear that constantly so that they don’t lose their “charm”, besides Jack’s channel is mainly a video game channel. I want them to be surprises all the time, so that I can stay hyped and all. I love the memes about the egos, of course, and I always took them seriously [the characters]. I never thought of them as jokes at some point, I mean, my friends sometimes forget that I’m talking about the same fandom [Jacksepticeye]! Now, remember when I mentioned about maybe there been a middle ground with Anti? Well now I think I am in that middle ground. I love the dark, pure evil, dangerous, and murderous Anti, but I also like the redemption type Anti, idk. But anyways, to end this long rant, I can’t wait to be surprised by Jack and Robin with Anti, and knowing them, each time they bring him back, it gets better and better. Imagine what a long hiatus could do to Anti :)?

Sorry for the long wait, it took me a while to collect my thoughts and write this out. Sorry if there are any grammar errors, I’m very tired to correct my already awful english. If any of you have questions, I’ll gladly answer them.

[mercurialsmile]

Why I don’t have a beta reader and don’t edit for shit

I’ve been asked this a number of times over the years so I’m gonna discuss why I no longer take beta readers on my works. 

1. Timing 

It takes me a long while to type up a chapter for a fic. Mental Illness TM and just Life TM in general like to kick my ass so the actual “me sitting down and actually working on ff” is a kinda small timeframe. It can take up to a month or a month and a half to actually finish a chapter. Then I would have to send it off to a beta, who could take up to three months or more to get it done. 

Almost every beta I have had took forever to actually finish editing my chapters. And yes, I do have long chapters. Not gonna lie. But if it takes someone three months to fix typos in a 5,000 word long chapter... that’s way too long. 

2. They drop off the face of the Earth 

Almost all the betas I’ve had (if not all of them) just... stopped. Didn’t ever get back to me with a completed chapter, never messaged me back. They just. Kinda stopped. And I could never get ahold of them again. And it’s frustrating as all hell. Of course, I’m not paying anyone to edit my shit. The fact that someone wants to volunteer is amazing in and of itself and I am very thankful for that fact. And I totally understand life getting in the way. But... at least tell me you can’t anymore? I’m not gonna get mad. Just tell me “hey I can’t beta for you anymore/right now because of x, y, and z” and that will give me peace of mind. I mean honestly. 

3. Poor betaing 

I’ve had a couple of really good betas in my past, but most my betas weren’t that great. Things still were wrong. No one corrected me on awful grammar mistakes I made. Of course, no one is perfect, but if a beta chapter looks exactly the same as the un-betaed chapter and the only difference is a “there” corrected to “their” and literally nothing else... then that’s a problem. Some of the betas I’ve had stretched the truth in telling me what they are good at and that’s a problem. 

4. Everything above is shit I’ve pulled 

Yeah, I used to do some spotty beta work a longass time ago. I was complete shit at it! I hate editing! I really do! (which is why I almost never edit my own work lmao) I didn’t read the full chapter, exaggerated at what I was good at, and at least for one person i was attempting to beta for I just kinda. Stopped messaging them. lmao. yeah kinda assholish of me to do. 

I don’t trust myself in betaing others at all, which is why I don’t beta. Because I know I fuck up. 

But listen. When you tell someone on the internet that you’re gonna fucking beta for them then actually do that. If you know that things might get busy for you, don’t beta. If you don’t think you can edit a 100,000 words + fanfic, don’t fucking beta for it. If you’re just shit at editing and think you can do so because you’re 13 and got an A on that creative writing english essay your teacher gave you.... then maybe you should wait till you got more experience under your belt. 

I’ve had a lot of criticism thrown my way due to my piss poor editing, like I don’t know. Guess what? I know there are a lot of typos in my shit! I know there’s a lot of mistakes! And I’ve seen this in other people’s stuff to. 

Getting a beta isn’t just. Twiddling your thumbs and messaging a whole bunch of people you stumble across on ffnet. nor is it making general posts on this hellsite and hoping someone is kind enough to help you. It’s... really fucking hard to find a beta. ESPECIALLY if you’re like me and write 150,000 word longfics that have 25+ chapters that are around 5,000 words long. That shit takes a while! 

Another big thing, least for me, is that I HATE editing chapter by chapter. I seriously do. In fact, a lot of advice tossed about tells you to not do that. Don’t get caught up on one chapter. Keep fucking going. Of course this applies to original stories that are probably your eyes only, but I apply that to ff as well. It’s why I barely did any editing of liaft when I wrote that (funfact: I just edited the 15th chapter) and the only reason why I edited the first 15 chapters of lial is because I thought they were awful and needed to be cleaned up/rewritten and just went ahead and edited them anyways. 

Another big thing, least with my fics... I do care about them. If I didn’t I would drop them. But if someone tells me “Oh, Lanx, you typed “its” instead of “it’s” in chapter 3 of liaft on the fifth paragraph from the bottom” or smth... I don’t care enough to fix that. Bc I am super lazy. And I already edited that chapter anyways in my mind so It Is Done and I am Not Messing With It. 

I write fics for fun and mainly for myself tbfh. And does it make me a bad writer to just. paste whatever I got online without editing? Maybe. But as I said before, I write because its a fun hobby. Know what I hate and find not fun? Editing. I find it to be a chore. I despise reading my own writing and I despise rereading something over and over again like that. it’s not fun, which is why I don’t edit.

Now, I’ll force myself to edit stuff when it seriously needs it. I will also edit my actual novels/novellas once I am completed with those. Because I actually do put more care into those then my ff or whatever mindless smut or random stupid drabbles I decide to post.

BUT that’s just me. I edit fics at a time, not chapters, and I am really bad at editing. Mostly because I hate my own writing and more than once I just go back and delete what I just wrote instead of actually. Editing it. 

Maybe once I get more practice in w my original novels/novellas I’ll try and attempt it more in my ff (lol) and my drabbles and oneshots (lm a o) but for now, I am not really focused on that at all. I’ll edit shit either if I feel I seriously need to before a story is complete (mainly if it has huge issues, like pacing ones, not because I wrote “feel” as “fell” again or vice versa) or once it’s completed. Not before. 

[taeslut]

stay with me in 2017

isnt that cute my title kind of rhymes but hello it is me again and this is more or less my (unofficial) 2nd appreciation post bc its a new year and i thought why not also pls ignore my lack of banner i decided to do this on a whim and i honestly cant wait for my photoshop to start up so (and this is in no order at all):

@hwangsae: my dude no need to worry about ur hermitting we understand and we are a ok just as long as you dont completely forget about us. thank you for helping 2016 be less shitty than it was and i treasure our shits n giggles in form time and english. youre always a riot to be with and its literally never boring with you and thanks for always making cheesecake with me; lets hope there are many more cheesecakes in the future (maybe even one where we use an actual cake tin), im sorry for encouraging a certain someone to talk to you to sort his shit out but no worries if he does anything else imma kick his skinny ass for u. i adore your art (bUT IM STILL RGHWJKDF U DIDNT LET ME KNOW I WAS ONLY THE 89TH AND 90TH NOTE) and i will continue to support you in your art and also whatever you decide to do in the future but i do really hope you join me in classics next year. i cant believe how lucky i am that i met you and we’ve maintained our friendship to this point and its gonnA BE SO FRICKIN GREAT WHEN WE GO TO BALL THIS YEAR IM SO HYPED and im so glad we can share moments like that together. i hope youre not too gutted about your math score bc u can always resit and at least you didnt fail which is always good. i have literally so many things i could say about u n our friendship like ur dispatch level photos of me and youre tendency to eat messily especially sushi but i have other ppl to write about too so i will keep this short and let u kno i appreciate u and love u very very much. youre my best friend and here’s to another (hopefully) great fucking year.

@gooseapartment: even tho u have dubbed me with less than ideal nicknames i am nevertheless grateful for your friendship (s/n: i typed out grateful as greatful at first and i stared at it like this isnt right and i had to stare at it for 5 minutes before i understood). even tho i FUCKING HATED AS MATHS ARUHRGJWUGHI you made it more bearable and easier to understand with your chinese lessons. im sososo happy you have gotten into kpop this year as i have yet another friend i can yell with. even though your jokes are lame and i never laugh at your puns, i still appreciate you so so much and idk how id survive in chem without you next to me (especially considering the people we sit with aside from sophia). our conversations are diverse and never really boring and i love hearing about your sunflowers and other plants and your art and drawings and plans for a yt channel and your art blog that u havent posted on and your different jisoos (how is that going btw). i honestly wouldnt have survived in china without you and thank you so much for keeping in contact with me n using wechat bc china hates google n fb. you are such an incredibly strong and inspiring person and i hope you have the best time on camp (even tho u have less than ideal ppl to do it with LOL). i really really hope you come to ball this year because it wouldnt be the same without :((( thanks for being a part of my life for the past 3 years and lets make it a great 4th

@yixmg: its amazing how we have become so close in such a short amount of time and i am so grateful to have met you and gotten the chance to talk to you and realise that no u r quite different from what i thought but in a good way and thank you for putting up with me for basically the whole year last year with me n serena constantly coming over and thank you for listening to me n my problems n my bitching abt certain people. youre hilarious and one of my favourite people to hang around and i frickin love your vines so much i am sad for you that vine closed down :(((( i hope you dont stop making vines even tho u said u might or take up something like filmography or smth idk but you are so talented and i am jealous. its sad we wont be in the same classics class but i wish you luck with your subjects next year (as is a bitch). ur constant love and support for yixing is so cute and admirable (especially bc i am a slut who changes ults every other day) and i love how rapline is rapline and also (current) exom. it makes me happy how whenever we hang out it always involves food and i hope we can go to sura again and study @ the library and hopefully find a spot this time. i am in a constant state of jealousy at the amount of boys u get dang i wish i couldve walked under cherry blossoms w jshaw :((( i love how hardworking you are and im sososo lucky that i got to be one of your friends. i also used ur pen u gave me for math mocks in my eoy exams and ya girl got an a in english so i also have that to thank you for. lets hope we have many more food outings this year along w korean n chinese movies. thanks for being a part of my life and for making 2016 less shitty for me bay-hope :))))

@pixelatedphysiognomy: hoe thanks for all the hoe posts this past year and extra thanks for the dog posts they are one of the few constants in my sad life and i appreciate them very much. i love how i can tell u abt things that made me angry and you will also get angry. i forgot how the whole hoe things started but i am glad it happened because i dont think we really had the awkward first stages of friendship (but correct me if im wrong lol ) i enjoy talking to u about cartoons and the conversations where we exchange “hoe” for days is something i hold dear to my heart. even tho juniors are annoying u are one of the few (ie 3) that i wouldnt mind being friends with. maybe this year ill join the chess club and become chess grandmaster n if i really wanted to get into the role i know a guy to get some of the good shit. thank you for being a part of my 2016 and i hope you stay for the future years for more than just my licence. also i hope 2017 is the year u come to terms with your hoeing.

@yueu: i didnt know which one to tag so i am tagging the newest one. you are one of the cutest people i know and i love ur out of nowhere questions without any context. thank you for being my awkward bean friend this year and i hope we can become closer in the coming year. i love your art so much and you are so talented and i hope you never stop making art and become famous so i can be Famous By Association. you, much like my only other y10 friends, have become such a big and important part of my life considering the short amount of time we’ve known each other and im so grateful to have a friend like you in my life. i hope we can have a great 2017 together and u get all the bread in the world

@seokjinhoney: i havent talked to u in aaaages omg and i know you are on hiatus but thank you so much for being a part of my life. it was so cool to meet someone like you online and its crazy to find out we’re in the same country and meeting you was so frickin cool. youre such a lovely person and i hope we have more time to talk this year

@hmuhansol: rylee u r one of the coolest people i have met this year. even tho its only been like a few months since we started talking we’re already p close considering we were strangers before. i think its so cool how interest you are in maths n science and i hope everything with your school goes well and u get your job witht he fancy name i have 0 capability of remembering bc i am Dumb As Heck. i hope my package arrives soon and i hope you like it even tho it isnt much but i hope we get closer in 2017 and we can laugh even more abt the memeability of svt

ofc there are more people and im sorry if ive forgotten anyone ive also gotten close to this year but these r my top picks n bffs also excuse me for being sappy n my bad grammar and spelling

i hope everyone has the best 2017 and also for trump to be impeached