#i jsut have a bad headache rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goodbyeuniverseee · 5 years

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good god okay i so so so desperately need this self therapy right now because this shit is haunting my dreams and days are passing slowly but NOT in a good way.

problem: like. the real problem. the HEART of the problem. = you feel like X doesn’t care about you/ thinks you’re too clingy/ is mad at you???? but that doesn’t make sense so it’s you something’s wrong with you solutions: - just ignore this and live life and try to forget about it because you gotta learn to live with this you’ve gotten over a lot of anxieties this is just another one you have to get over and surely once you get distracted and go about your own life it’ll be fine right --> problem with this is that it HASN’T WORKED so far and every since Y your days have been significantly dread and anxiety filled okay. you’re not the same. it’s always in the back of your mind - try to prompt something. if you get a response then it’ll quell your nervousness probably>???? normally i’d just say be direct but bitch you tried that once and it felt too soon too fast way way way too open this is like.. MESSY you. and messy you does not need to show herself so soon. ok. ok. but i need to prepare for.. okay problem here is this could make it worse. possibly. fuck. fuck okay i need to prepare. you need to prepare.

plans for possible outcomes of solution two

- nothing changes aka you get stabbed in the gut and cry even more because you’re brain is shit like that. BUT BUT BUT this fucking thing right now isn’t stopping so it’s either stay stuck or take a gamble and yes get s h a t t e r e d OR - you get something and your worries are GONE and skin is CLEAR and you can stop crying and just do you. but okay just in case fuck okay before you plan are you really gonna go through with this when you could avoid even more hrt hrt even tho X doesnt mean to hrt hrt you but it is but hhfhhhgjhjhjjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjjjsjsjsjsjsjs ok yes because you know this is the only fucking way to quell this brewing storm rn okay. is it? YES you’re dreaming about it oh my god. you’re dreaming about it and getting headaches you’re obviously affected by this shit. but it’s so easy to not do anything. but then nothing’s gonna improve.????? oksy fuck it do it just do it.

- do that. then finish this entry. then binding of isaac + some marina and therapeutic singing. then if you still have energy, boogiepop. and if you can’t sleep then good omens.

okay that’s done nwo you really jsut need to prepo for if it gets worse - SELF HELP. okay. this doesn’t say anything about you. you are not a bad person. you are not unlikeable. people just go through their own shit. but at the same time take this as a sign to stop being so dependent. said this so many times before i know but, take it as god telling you to keep focussing on finding happiness within yourself and the things that YOU do and the people who are already in your life and will stay with you. treasure that and treasure them. THIS? this is just a side thing. it’s a possibility. possibilities. but it’s not everything and it’s the idea that appeals to you so much and your need to be liked by everyone and/or feel like you have power. okay? you are okay and you don’t need X to define you. keep it casual. keep it nice and casual. don’t jump head first and end up bashing your skull in and piercing your chest. alright. go enjoy your time out and take nice pictures and sing some songs and read and just find happiness in yourself.

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