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paladin-andric · 5 years

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11 Questions Tag Game

Tagged by @corishadowfang! Thank you!

Rules: Answer the 11 questions and then make 11 of your own, then tag some people.

1: Is there a real-life location you’d like to base a story off of/in?

Would I?! Well, there’s the Byzantine Empire, modern day Greece and Turkey. Just look up some pictures of Constantinople and you could see why I’d love to have that sort of setting. I already have a story idea for it. An alt-history fantasy where the empire never fell, and mythical beasts invade Europe...

As for places I’ve already based a story off of...the entire continent of Deaco is full of nations based on real life places. The central region, the human Kingdom of Geralthin, is based off of medieval England (with better weather though!) which can be seen with such names like Henry, Elizabeth, Albert and Edward, along with the English feudal system of Earls, Dukes and Barons, along with “Shire” and “Bury” being included in some town and province names.

The Koutu Kingdom is lightly based on a blend of Gaelic cultures such as the Scottish and Irish, along with some Hellenic additions. Though their homeland is more plains than the Emerald Isle or the rough Highlands, their names reflect this. Domnall, Cuan, Conchobar...there’s also their pasttimes of the great Arena Marathon and other competitions of physical sport that draw on the Greek culture.

The Dacuni Tribes are heavily inspired by the Vikings. Their constant invasions to the south against every one of their neighbors, along with their constant use of battleaxe infantry should make that obvious. The wolfmen also share the similar “-nar”, “-vin”, “nir” at the end of a lot of their names. The tundra environment is similar as well, but I also just wanted an excuse for beautiful winter scenery and an aurora that lights up the sky.

The Pona Federation is a tribal republic that takes light inspiration from the Native Americans of North America. Light. I mostly just got the idea of their government from The Iroquois. The Pona are bipedal turtlefolk that live in a swampy marshland and mostly keep to themselves. I wanted some sort of republic among all the kingdoms of the world, so here they are! They develop into a modern, Constitutional Republic later down the timeline as well, one of the few places in the world that’s a bastion of freedom and liberty in a world full of autocrats and tyrants.

The Abinsil Kingdom is a subcontinent off the coast of Geralthin to the south that’s inspired by medieval Arabic kingdoms. The lizardfolk there are pious (for good reason), isolationist, and mystical. They have sects of holy warriors that guard the groves of saints, strange magic that bends reality around them, wardrakes instead of horses, and a minority of insectoids!

Finally there’s two places I haven’t really touched on, but are part of the world. The Qin Empire, a place based off medieval China (complete with eastern dragons that regularly patrol the skies), and the Republic of Salisca, based VERY heavily off of the United States (where humans have suffered at the hands of dragon-tyrants for millennia before gaining their independence).

2: What are some themes you haven’t used that you think would be fun to touch on?

I’ve touched on The Power of Friendship™ in Blackheart, but its strongest theme was that of determination and perseverance. Never give up! Fight the darkness! As long as you have a reason to believe, something to love, the corruption can never fully claim you!

Another theme I’d like to touch on is the blood of the covenant! The idea that bonds of friendship forged strong enough can be greater than even family! Themes of faith would be interesting too, a long and difficult journey where the hero questions their faith could have some really interesting and powerful results and messages.

3: What character have you created that’s the most like you? The least?

Gotta say Charles. While I’m not a winged, fire-breathing half-dragon wizard, our personalities are very similar. He’s shy, anxious, a bit of a nerd, but a good person and brave when he needs to be...really once you get past that whole dragon part we’re pretty much the same!

As for the least? Well...probably Razorwing. I mean, after what I just told you about Charles, Razorwing is a famous hero who’s always in the spotlight. He’s graceful, and skilled, and charismatic, and loved the world over...so you could see why I think he’s a far cry from me! He’s still a good person though, most characters in Blackheart are.

4: Are there any songs that really encompass what your WIP’s about?

Cold Rain and Snow

“What are we marching for?

What is this trial with our lives?

How will we win this war?

Who among will survive?”

5: Have you ever created unique races/monsters for a story? What are they?

There’s the stock dragons and kobolds, but aside from that I’ve strayed from typical fantasy, for the most part. No elves or dwarves for example. There’s the Koutu, a species of avian adventurers who revel in the unknown and make great company wherever they go.

There’s the wolfmen (Dacuni), though I’m sure there’s similar races in other media. They’re rough, gruff and prone to flying off the handle at the slightest provocation, but they’re ferociously loyal as well.

The Pona, the turtle-men of the East, were made from scratch. I wanted a calm, wise and otherworldly species that had the potential for interesting settings and circumstances (a tribal council sitting around a fire, surrounded by massive trees that go up hundreds of feet and block out the sky, anyone?)

The Ssalik of the Abinsil Kingdom are lizardmen, though not really based on any of other media. They’re friendly with humans and have their own things going on (the mystic magic, the drakes and dragons roaming their deserts...)

The half-dragons take that “dragonblood” thing and take it to the next level, the people taking on the forms of dragons because of it. They’re the size of humans and stand upright, but otherwise look just like dragons. Due to the transformation of body and mind, they have quick wits and an affinity for magic. As such, they make great sorcerers and paladins, and tend to be more accepted in academies and churches as a result.

Pseudodragons didn’t originally exist in the world. They were created, in universe, artificially by a powerful sorcerer. They’re tiny dragons the size of people that have natural urges to do good and help humanity. They love fruits and typically settle in human villages to help the villagers in their day-to-day jobs and activities. They’re near-universally selfless and kind.

The Qin...well, imagine the half-dragons, but use eastern dragons instead of european dragons as the base. They have long, flowing bodies, fins, whiskers, and no wings.

6: What’s your favorite book?

Probably The Outsiders. I can’t say I relate to the characters...but I feel for them, you know?

7: Traditional heroes or anti-heroes?

Traditional! I love classical heroes who always try to do the right thing! I think the edgy dark hero has gotten overused to the point that classical heroes are making a comeback in popularity, and I’m glad to see it. In Blackheart, most are traditional heroes. Paul or “Crux” is the closest to an anti-hero considering his background, but in the city of demons, there’s not much chance for anyone to be anything but heroic.

8: What is your favorite character from any piece of media?

Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series. A legendary hero of uncomparable skill that has somehow pulled through some of the most hopeless of situations, went rogue in an effort to save the world from Metal Gears, and has suffered and struggled against way more than he deserved to.

9: What is an AU of your WIP you think would be fun to explore?

Modern fantasy. There’s just something about fantasy races having guns and using cellphones...

10: Where do you get your inspiration from?

Demon’s Souls. The colorless fog and ruined Boletaria being so close to the black fog and ruined Palethorn are pretty obvious giveaways. Also D&D, as all the dragons, priests, holy magic and kobolds might make clear.

11: What is something you love about your WIP?

The ending. It, uh...kinda ruined me while I was writing it. I’m absolutely in love with the characters, too.

Now for my questions! (Mostly just an excuse to hear some worldbuilding!)

1: What’s your favorite genre and why?

2: Unusual themes or plot points that are important in your story? (Music or cooking, for example)

3: Which two characters are the most polar opposites? What is their relationship in the story?

4: Prophecy vs. Defying fate? Which do you think makes for a better story?

5: Which character are you most proud of, for any reason?

6: If your story could be told in any other sort of media, what would it be? How would you like it made?

7: Which part of your world is the most interesting, in your opinion? Location, lore, whatever really drew you into making it.

8: How much do your experiences color the world or characters of your story? Is it born of a worldview you either have or something you wish reality was closer to?

9: What government system does the setting follow? If it’s an international journey, how are the nations different from each other?

10: What role does culture play in the world? Where did you get the idea for such traditions and pasttimes?

11: How do you like your villains and heroes? How do they think and act most of the time?

Tagging @oceanwriter, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @elliewritesfantasy, @caffienefuelsmywriting and @lady-redshield-writes!

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, 2018 (dir. Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)

Nominated for: Best Original Song, Best Costume Design, Best Adapted Screenplay

SPOILER ALERT THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD ME HEARTIES BE YE WARNED

wowee what a cool film!! i went into this not knowing much about it except it was directed by the Coen brothers (directors of Fargo and The Big Lebowski) which set real high expectations for me. these guys are real masters of storytelling and what immediately come to mind when i think of movies that know how to effectively use dark humor. i also love the kinds of stories they tell in general, how they take subjects and settings that seem kinda mundane and just give them this little extra spark.

so is this newest film just as good as their other work??? well id say yeah for sure!!! it reminds me a lot of a film they did shortly after The Big Lebowski called O Brother, Where Art Thou?, because theyre both period pieces AND because they both feature a myriad of eclectic and interesting characters. the one thing that makes The Ballad of Buster Scruggs really stand out from their other films however is the fact that this is actually an anthology made up of six different stories, all set during the same time period in The Wild West. its also worth mentioning that this movie was made to premiere on Netflix, which is something ive started to see more and more as the streaming platform becomes the new go-to source of media content. its very exciting to see such prolific directors go the Netflix route and have great success with it, because it means that the platform really is capable of creating high-quality movies and TV shows and working with big-name talent. im sure the big hollywood production companies are all quaking in their lil booties cause this means big BIG changes are on the horizon

ok so ive reviewed anthology series before, notably Black Mirror, and with those reviews i ranked the short stories in order of least to most favorite. so i guess in this case ill do the same, although its hard to really rank these cause i truly enjoyed all of them in different ways. there was one however that didnt really tickle my fancy much, which was “Near Algodones”. this one stars james franco as a bank robber who seems to have met his match in a fiery (probably crazy) bank teller. he gets caught and hung from a tree by the town’s sheriff, but nearly manages to escape death when a Native American tribe swoops in and kills the sheriff and his crew. james franco is saved by a cattle driver, only to be caught again by the next town’s sheriff for allegedly trying to hawk the cattle (which was not the case at all). right before they kick the chair out from under him at the hanging, he sees a beautiful woman in blue, who at first smiles at him but then looks unnerved as he stares back at her.

i think with this one the ending really didnt do much for me, i kinda didnt get it. i did understand the whole irony behind surviving punishment for a crime he DID commit but getting hanged for a crime he never committed, and the bank teller was pretty hilarious, but everything else about the segment was just ok. james franco didnt really blow me away (he never really does but thats besides the point), the rest of the performances were fine, and the story just kinda zipped on through. maybe ill give this one another watch to see if the ending makes any more sense to me, or if theres any sense to be made from it at all

next up for me would be “The Gal Who Got Rattled”, and this segment i have mixed feelings over. its about this brother and sister who set out on the Oregon trail so that the brother can get his sister to marry his business partner in Oregon. the sister seems like a kind of wishy-washy, subdued character who just kinda goes along with whatever her brother says without giving much of her own opinion. i gotta give credit to zoe kazan (who starred in The Big Sick) cause she does a great job with this character, totally spot-on performance. ok so turns out the brother is a fucken HORRIBLE businessman who screws up all his business deals all the time, and he tragically dies like two days into being on the oregon trail. he has this annoying-ass dog that barks all the time and everyone else on the caravan is sick of it, so when the brother dies the sister just lets one of the trail leaders put it down. turns out the sister like did not like her brother at all but was always too afraid to say anything. now getting back to the bad businessman thing, apparently he had promised the helper boy that is helping move their covered wagon a large sum of money, half of it halfway through the journey and the rest when they get to oregon. problem is, the sister doesnt have the money, so it was either left in the brothers pocket when he was buried or there wasnt actually any money at all and he lied, y’know, like a bad businessman does. the trail leader who put the annoying dog down offers to help her, and the two start to get close. so now its like a pseudo love story thing. except it ends pretty tragically (the sister dies its a long story and pretty ironic just watch it if u wanna know)

so uuuhhhhh this one was long as shit, like a lot longer than the other segments when it didnt really need to be??? like it just kept going and going, and again the ending didnt really make up for how long it was. i really liked zoe kazan in this, but otherwise nothing to write home about.

number four on my list would have to go to “All Gold Canyon”, which basically just follows the story of a gold miner in the mountains trying to get that money honey. this segment is the simplest one out of the bunch, but i gotta say its absolutely gorgeous. what beautiful scenery and cinematography. it provides a nice contrast to our disheveled, run-down gold miner who is just tearing up the beautiful grassy fields trying to get to this gold. there seems to be a theme in this one of man’s relationship to nature, and how the gold miner does put in effort to respect it but still takes advantage of it for his own benefit. and i guess theres a broader theme of greed, or the ruthless and endless pursuit of wealth which can drive people to do crazy and desperate things. i definitely really enjoyed this one, especially the gold miner character played by tom waits. but otherwise it didnt stand out as much to me as the other segments im gonna talk about

SPEAKING OF WHICH heres number three!! “The Mortal Remains” is right up my alley, and has some more mythical elements to it than the other segments ive talked about so far. so we have a wagon full of passengers all going to this hotel for various reasons, and its a really diverse cast of characters: we have the older wife of a prolific religious lecturer, a rich Frenchman, a trapper, a foppish Englishman, and a cheery laid-back Irishman, the last two seeming to be companions of some sort. they all get on the topic of the true nature of mankind, and the three characters opposite of the strange pair all have something different to say. the trapper believes that all people are inherently the same, with the same basic needs. the older woman disagrees and insists that there are two kinds of people, upright and sinning. and then the Frenchman says that both of them are wrong, that human existence is much more complicated and nuanced than that; no one persons life is exactly the same as another’s. and then we have the Englishman and the Irishman, who turn out to be bounty hunters of some sort (is heavily alluded that they are grim reaper-type figures). they explain their method of completing their kills, and talk about how they enjoy watching their victims “try to make sense of it all” in their death throes. these two clearly have a much more cold and sinister idea of the nature of mankind, and the rest become very unsettled all the way to the hotel. no one else even dares to step out of the carriage while the bounty hunters drag their latest victim through the front entrance and up the stairs.

oh man this segment was great! i think the reason its third on my list is cause i really wish there was more to it, like if the Coen brothers spent more time on this one instead of “The Gal Who Got Rattled” it would be perfect. Jonjo O’Neill and Brendan Gleeson as the bounty hunters were so enthralling, and i loved watching them play off of each other. hell, i couldve had a whole movie featuring those two. and the screenwriting really shines in this segment too. this segment almost feels like a fable or something, which is really fitting for the time period. makes me wonder if they had based it off of an actual fable. but anyway yeah this ones awesome!

i had a hard time choosing between “The Mortal Remains” and this next segment for second place cause i liked them both equally, but in the end “Meal Ticket” gets #2 purely because of the utterly fantastic performance by Harry Melling, who plays a quadriplegic actor in a traveling show run by liam neesons character, an irish traveling entertainer. the story itself is really simple, we just see this disabled actor be carted from one town to the next, doing the same stage show which is basically just him reciting famous prose throughout the ages. meanwhile liam neeson is trying to get as much money as he can out of the audience members. he doesnt interact much with harry melling outside of feeding him and helping him piss and get dressed. u get the sense that he doesnt really see his disabled actor as an actual person, but more of an entertaining object or a pet. and this becomes even more apparent when the irishman gets some competition from another traveling entertainer who has a chicken that can do math. he sees this chicken getting more money than him, so he buys it off of the other guy and takes it with him. and finally, the poor limbless actor is literally and figuratively tossed aside for the next best thing.

man oh man what a great segment! harry melling blew me away with his performance, the fact that he was able to get such a nuanced range of emotion out of the few lines he was given (basically he had to recite the same shit over and over again) was so impressive to me. and his non-verbal communication was really solid too. liam neeson did really well in his role too. and again the story itself is really great, simple but effective and really gets the point across without having to beat the audience over the head with its message. OH YEAH ITS REAL GOOD LOVE IT

and finally we have my #1 pick, which i think the directors knew this was the best one out of the bunch too cause its the first segment as well as the title of the whole movie. “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” has that signature Coen brothers wit and dark humor that i love, it plays off of typical Western movie tropes and is very tongue-in-cheek and i ate that shit up. tim blake nelson as the titular buster is just so fucken perfect for this role, he really shines in this and its kind of a shame that its one of the shorter segments cause it really is the best one and he knocks it out of the park. we got some great music in this segment too, which is where that Best Original Song nom comes in. this one also has some strong fable-y vibes to it, like this story could be amongst the likes of American folklore like Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed. i wont get much into the plot of this one but i highly recommend watching it, even if you dont wanna see the rest of the segments.

the segments fit together pretty well overall, although the tone of each of them differs slightly the fact that the setting and time period are the same is enough to firmly knit all these stories together. its a really unique idea for a movie, and is so far the best attempt at an anthology movie that ive ever seen purely because the stories really all make sense together and play off of each other well. in other anthology movies ive seen like The ABC’s of Death the segments usually dont have much at all to do with each other, except that they all fall in the same genre. so overall id say give this a watch, especially if ur a Coen brothers fan, cause theres some real good stuff in here.

well thats all i got for now cowboys!! i watched Roma the other day and CRIED REAL HARD so get ready for me to kiss that movies ass in a review that should be done in the next few days. until then go uuhhhhhh lasso a cow or something. chew some tobaccy. fondle a barmaids titties. die of dysentery. y’know just old west things~

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jeannette-marshall-optioneerjm · 6 years

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Nagging moms raise more successful girls!

I love going to Google to look for an image, usually mid-way through, while writing a blog. Ironically, the more productive I feel in real life, the better the writing seems to become. If looking at the stats on meanderingABOUT and YUPPYdom are a strong indication. Finding the perfect image to compliment the point I want to emphasis, often buried in all the other stuff I write. I might start out with a strong title and then start writing. However, once the image has been chosen, there is a strong likelihood that the title will change along with it. I could spend hours looking at Pinterest art and photographic splendor: there is a LOT of talent out there in the universe. Thankfulness I may be slightly off the mark in my thankfulness blog to commemorate our Canadian Thanksgiving this year earlier in October [ usually, it fall around the third week of October, or so I thought ]. I’m sure my brother is thankful every October. That is when he married his love of his life, his wife. He was kinda private about relationships from what I remember growing up. He is affectionately stereotyped as the Baby Boomer Older Sibling or BBOS (yes, somewhat bossy, but typically laid back unless you touched one of his record albums and left a speck of dust, he’d punch you in the arm). Not anywhere else. Just the arm. Thankfully, it never happened very often. In fact, once was quite enough.

Ironically, growing up in the 1960s was not all about being groovy and surrounded by peace and love. From what I recall, corporal punishment was outlawed just before me. Happy to note, such an adventure to the principal’s office for the strap is not among the repertoire of experiences I have had. Yes, the innocent aura of my tribe of 1961 friends and classmates. Yes, the worst year in history according to demographic specialists who authored “Boom Bust or Echo”. Light reading for a 25 year old to be sure. That would have been in 1986. A self-confessed YUPPY of a bygone era, overshadowed by Millennial entitlement, a product of our generous and forgiving parenting style where we tried to reason, take away “privileges” the worst punishment these hipsters had to endure. That, and our endless nagging or demanding Mom. That REMINDS ME!! One of my daughters texted me with a link to the following: “Study: Girls with nagging moms grow up to be more successful”

READ: Nagging moms …. LINK

YES, this is the same one who gave me the PINK SLIP a couple of weeks ago. One minute I’m driving her crazy and the next, I’m her hero. The best story of nagging happened when she was at the enlightened age of 13. As a January baby, beginning school at 3 because I recognized that she had a very inquisitive mind and knowledge student. I was trying to think of a gift for my son, who would have been 16 at Christmas. That’s when you start to realize that gifts are not masses of stuff but one perfectly thought out gift that connects with the age appropriateness of a boy starting the difficult journey of becoming a man. Not something too boyish, it was getting to be a real bore buying a video game or a video console every year. It was also expensive and not quite memorable. In steps my daughter, where we’re about to embark in the biggest mother-daughter battle of our respective generations. Setting the tone for the next 15 to 20 years. She suggests that I get him two tickets to this concert in February just in and around his birthday. Brilliant! Now I had not even thought of that! Probably because it was not uncommon for me to take them and pals to the Glenbow Museum in Calgary [when I did have to pay for entrance, having years ago been their advertising representative, attending free openings, general meetings, shareholder meetings, artist presentations, launching shows]. They all had been to live performances with me from The Nutcracker to Phantom of the Opera to The Wiz on Broadway in New York, NY. So I did buy those two tickets as my lovely offspring suggested. Son was just “meh” over the present. He didn’t even appear interested with his sister’s first pay-as-you-go cell phone [ one of the reasons she turned into a math whiz I’m sure, from learning to subtract backwards on declining minutes of coolness ]. Well, as it happens. The daughter had actually wanted to go to said concert. She was 9/10 convinced that her brother would reward her thoughtfulness for coming up with the idea, that he would ask her to go with him. As the date of the concert started to draw closer, her hints were replaced by out-and-out-demands that he take her to the concert. As the most perfect brother would, he just didn’t respond. The more she squawked, the less he noticed.

It was time to go to war. It was time to get everyone on her side of the army to help convince her brother that she was the most logical and OBVIOUS partner. He didn’t agree. I respected his decision, reinforcing that choice every time she peeped up. The day of the concert also happened to be when I was going to compete in a Toastmasters’ International Contest by giving a speech. I was nervous already, about to step off the cliff of my comfort zone and compete. Dressed to the nines to work I went that day. Thinking back as one of the most disastrous days as a mother. Like any army general, I had the battalion organized with the support and help of the Master Sgt, my mother, and her side kick, my father. I would pick up the one daughter at home with my son, then drop her off at my parents, who would pick up the youngest daughter from her soccer game, which I had arranged carpooling with another soccer mom. My parents would feed the girls and my son would eat garbage at the concert and be content after I drove him there with his buddy. Like any well-intentioned-mother, I had clearance from work to leave at four o’clock to “prepare for my contest” that evening. I was already trying to think of ways I could bow out gracefully without showing the stage fright I was hit with! Happily practicing and rehearsing out loud as I joined the commute home: not appearing as though I were singing like all the other gals in the various lanes, nope. I was looking like I was talking to myself!

SOURCE: Getty Images

Being a single mother of three, perfection was my decree: the better a job I do at being a parent than their dad, the happier they would be. No, no yelling. While a locked jaw clenching my teeth was usually the best sign for the troops to run for cover: it never looked good and appeared more foreboding than any disciplinary measures handed out. When I arrived home, not one girl was missing but both! Huh? Oh, look a note from the articulate writer who confessed to having swiped her brother’s concert tickets and gone to it with her best friend, Stephanie. {Ironic how both girls best friends when they were 13 were both named Stephanie – I ignored any red flags with the 2nd daughter that I shouldn’t have!} Now that I think of it, I wonder if I ever did save that note. With butterflies, sunshine and flowers surrounding the words, she begged for forgiveness and understanding on how much SHE wanted to go to the concert. How mean her brother WAS for not agreeing to take her, she couldn’t stop herself and her best friend from going. Fear not, she knows what she is doing and will text when she is safely settled into the seats so I won’t worry about her! I aptly stepped into the role of psycho [which a daughter has accused her mother of on more than one occasion]. OMGosh, the competition. Everything was choreographed and timed to perfection like carefully laid out dominoes [which I never mastered for real]. Now I had to call my mom to tell her that I wouldn’t be dropping off the one daughter, but that didn’t mean that all other plans were in play: they still needed to pick up the younger daughter at her soccer game at precisely 7:30 p.m. Of course, I had to wait for her to come to the entrance of her seniors building after riding the elevator down.

SOURCE: Allan Sanders

That was fine because like any fierce general faced with combat, I was barking on the phone to the Stephanie mother, who was proudly informing me that she had done her part of the carpooling to the concert since her daughter was so graciously invited to share with mine, apparently, picking them up when it was over after my competition! My competition! Less than an hour and a half. Fat chance for rehearsal before the stage. Hey, I couldn’t make it! I had to retrieve my daughter from the concert. I was going to teach her a lesson.

Don’t mess with the mom Everyone knows this. Wisdom about staying away from Grizzly bear mothers with her cubs is common knowledge! Unfortunately for daughter, she wasn’t aware of doing anything wrong. She had left me a note, made carpooling arrangements, all without interfering with the original plan. She had a phone! Imagine me texting from the pulled over spot I was at [setting the appropriate example, important at all times, as though children and grandparents have CCTV capabilities that weren’t even installed, or not yet, or were they? Ensuring mannerly conduct complimenting the polished, professional suit I was in that said: “I mean business!” Back in that early dawn of the new Millennium of the early 2000s, it likely was a Blackberry, the clear badge of honor most YUPPIES grasped and carried, or hooked on our waists with the blazer casually tucked aside, like a police firearm, the Blackberry. No professional parent of an honorable upbringing child would NOT have a Blackberry! Also, we didn’t have SMART PHONES where we could thumb or swipe maps and itineraries with merely a flick! We were thumb champions, children of the 60s, Yuppies of the 80s! I did my best to appear “calm” in my text to said daughter to ask her where she was, trying to appear casual, avoiding betraying at all costs, the combination of rage and panic: my baby is at a concert without parental attendance! Surely, they would ask for ID or notice that the name on the ticket was in her brother’s name? You ask? Well, back then, they were not email confirmations with all the pertinent information like NAME of purchaser, concert seat, which could have easily have been printed out again under any circumstances! Imagine the parking at the Calgary Saddle Dome. Darn, I couldn’t just pull up as a drop off, I had to pay for parking, look for parking, park, then hoof it to the entrance. Heaven and mercy. At least the son has a remarkable memory! He recalled an approximate location of the seats, which he observed where pretty amazing, now that he thought of not having them anymore. The rebellious daughter had not responded to my text. The nerve!

I likely gained attention while driving and parking waving my arms and raising eyes to the heavens when telling my buddy, Maddy, what I was in the midst of: a crisis of massive proportions! She graciously offered to let the folks know that I would not be able to compete due to an unforeseen family emergency! [ How many hear that and think: “she chickened out”? ] Well I was thinking about it, but now I had no choice! I marched up to the security guard at the entrance attracting some attention for wearing a beautiful navy pant suit, perfectly coiffed hair, aesthetically polished nails and tasteful complimenting accessories and matching shoes with purse! After explaining my situation: that my daughter had taken her brother’s present and come to the concert without my permission or knowledge and I needed to lock in parenting strategy 101: grab daughter and eject from the concert. A motley crew we must have appeared: my five feet zero executive pace, clicking pumps with a purpose in mind. Accompanied by the security guard who was a big foot Chibawka with less hair, appearing more like a bodyguard. By then, I was pretty accustomed to flipping eyeballs and raised brows.

Let’s call him George. While escorting me to the office at the opposite of the building, he asked me for a description of said daughter in case we miraculously crossed paths with the offender. Only kids born in the 90s remember “EMO” which was the opposite of whatever their parents may have happened to look like: lots of very dark circles around eyes, fashionable hardly ever! Black clothes: black jean jacket, black jeans, black t-shirt, with died pitch black hair. Maybe carrying her pay-as-you-go flip phone for peers to notice, they were more than happening by being at said concert. George didn’t slow his pace after ingesting the description any decent mother would recall what her child looked like for Pete’s sake [ nobody says: “Pete’s sake” anymore, you notice?]. He empathetically observed and commented that she would fit right in since she looked like every other concert goer we were speeding past.

Just as we were approaching the will-call booth to begin closing in on the culprit, I did get a text back [she probably remembered the number one rule she was nagged about when she got her pay-as-you-go-phone: “always answer the mother, no matter what you are doing, even if on the toilet and asking her to hang on so she could wash her hands”). My daughter’s text calmly advised that I should not worry as she is in her seats, safe. The concert was about to begin. She’ll let me know when it is close to ending so I can swing by and pick them up out front. They were so advanced technologically at the time: all I had to do was provide the attendants with my DEBIT CARD [note: single mother as stated previously. CREDIT CARDs go better being part of a couple]. My ID was used to verify that I should be a very irate parent. They were able to verify that the seats were claimed with the tickets. The speed in response was amazing! The other security guards were starting to form a circle around me as I waited for the seat details and escort to pick up my daughter. Trying not to be rude [texting while conversing was unheard of “back then”], I texted to inform daughter that I was in the building, she was going to be surrounded by security guards and her name was going to be said out loud by the act’s lead singer, telling her that she should meet her mother at the concourse! Never humiliate a child unless you want revenge She gasped and said that she was on the floor, no longer in her seats, so I wouldn’t be able to find her. By now, I was furiously texting to demand that she give herself up and come out, it wasn’t going to end well for her if she didn’t. Smarty pants response was that the concert was just starting and she’d be coming out when it was done. My response was less composed when I told her to watch for all the guards’ flashlights going up and down the aisle. We knew where the seats were. She could meet me or we could come and get her. When caught in an argument with an adolescent child, name calling, threats don’t work. The show down was set at the replacement for the Corral in Calgary, the Saddle Dome. The stadium was blacked out with the exception of George and I carefully avoiding taking a tumble, with a flashlight guiding him and his hulk blinding me. She wasn’t there! We went back to the concourse as my thumbs were warmed up and I reminded her she should be hearing her name any second before the band started. Embarrassment is revenge a parent should enforce. At 13, being singled out among peers at such a big coolness event with the mention of having a mother, was a disaster worth considering. She gave herself up. There was only so much she was prepared to do. She walked up to me with Stephanie so casually, as if it was a well thought out planned meeting. “You’re coming with me” George boomed as he grabbed their arms as he started to firmly walk them to someplace he had in mind. There was no rehearsal on what we would do when they finally gave themselves up. I was curious somewhat on where we were going, but too puffed up with pride for accosting the culprits: I was victorious. I had won. I had found the stubborn so and so. Every stadium has a jail for wayward tweens and teens, originally intended for drunks and obnoxious folks waiting for a trip to downtown. George took them into the jail I caught a glimpse of a grey room, more like an arena dressing room without any bars. George politely asked me to wait outside I’m sure my look of astonishment wasn’t lost on the girls, who may have decided at that precise moment that the fun was done. They were catching heat of the shocking kind! After what seemed like a very long time, remembering that everything had been a blur since sailing out of work to glide into my wonderfully planned organizational masterpiece of pulling off being in three places at once. George came out and whispered to me: ” I really think ‘we’ got them. What would you like me to do? Scare them?” Masterfully calm parenting was out the window. I exclaimed: “YES! Make her pay. She deserves to do the time!” After promising to come out in a few moments, George hailed another enforcer, motioning another Big Foot Chibawka to join me and wait for a few, he needed help escorting a couple of young girls out of the building. True to character, the young darling was miffed and annoyed by the time she reappeared. Declaring to all within hearing (a wide area) directed to George and complaining to me that a big deal was being made out of nothing. “Nothing?” boomed George, supported by a scowl from his associate. “Were you not in possession of stolen tickets?” he asked. “Stolen!?!” she responded. They were her brother’s tickets and they were NOT stolen she declared, indignantly. “Young lady, did you pay for those tickets?” She immediately glared at me to provide support. I was quite intimidated by the turn of events and remained quiet. [Not my strongest suit.] George then turned, all 6 or 7 foot of over 200 lbs, quite easily two of me or my daughter and I combined and asked me: “Ma’am would you like me to take this young lady down to the police station for them to do an inquiry on stolen property?” I gulped and blushed as concert stragglers were being entertained by this scene, suggesting that perhaps that wasn’t necessary if she was prepared to come home with me then and at the same time drop her friend off home on the way. The longest mile You’ve seen in the movies where the police escort or bailiff escorts the criminal to jail or to court. In our case, it was two imposing figures flanking all three of us as they walked with us to the nearest exit. George asked if we needed assistance to our vehicle and I assured him it wasn’t far and we were good to go. As I turned to lead the girls to the car, George winked at me. Oh the shame, embarrassment was the rant the whole drive home, while her friend was frozen in fear to what she may expect when she got home where her mother was waiting. She had ignored her mother’s frantic calls and text messages as well. After allowing my wayward daughter to exhaust herself from crying and bemoaning how she was going to be the laughing stock when “everyone” heard that her mother had come down to the stadium and hauled her out, narrowly avoiding jail time. Things were pretty quiet by the time we got home. Her younger sister perched and ready with her grandmother waiting to hear how her heroine, older sister, rebelled and got caught. Per normal, the brother had escaped to his corner of the house, where he often went to when he wanted to avoid “the drama” of the girls. The daughter dutifully brushed her teeth and went to bed without a peep. Fresh the next day, off to school she went to face the music from her peers. Respectful, polite and chipper as though what had unfolded the night before was a dream or conjured imagination of events. Of course, by the time I got home that evening, I had no steam left. Yet my daughter wasn’t apologetic or acting like anything had happened. After dinner, wash up and after less fuss than usual for what time it was to go to bed [not having the “wait till your father hears this” refrain available as a single mother]. When all was quiet, kids settled and snug in their beds, my daughter crept downstairs to check in and see whether I was gritting my teeth still. She approached me quietly and then said that she understood what had happened and how things happened the way they did. She said that I became a hero to all parents who had heard that I hadn’t done what they would have done: wait at home until they got home before going on the offensive. I was a hero because I went out of my way to prove that she was wrong. She then chipper-like confessed that she hadn’t been embarrassed at all. In fact, she was a hero for being so rebellious by going to the concert alone. Sigh. That was one of the first struggle over power between my daughter and me. The never ending saga of being the nagging mother, trying to teach right from wrong, good manners and bad. Like the happy moral of the story that she optimistically revealed of two champions: a mother and a daughter, each forging their way toward circumstances that required a stand off. Apparently, both equally glorious. After a pink slip and the silent treatment, I did reach out and we had a Facetime conversation last weekend. Lovingly mother and daughter as though it was all par for the course. She then texted me a note about an artist that I had unveiled a recognized woman who became famous in the 80s when she passed away, sending her pieces to appreciate in value. Validating that such was the case. Then the text and article about how nagging moms raise more successful girls: from a daughter skyrocketing in her own right as an emerging artist, scholarships, grants and the Dean’s list earned solely on her own.

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jeannette-marshall-optioneerjm · 6 years

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Nagging moms raise more successful girls!

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SOURCE: Allan Sanders

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