#i just love the idea of ray and lily coloring together ok

[anniebibananie]

love your ray and heather story! i don't know if you're accepting prompts, but would you write something about heather finding out about ray running into the fire for her?? I just need that SCENE

thank you! i'm so happy you enjoyed i wish i could leave you my love.

also ty for the prompt it's been a while but i do love writing prompts so here you goooooo

[side note: wyattnash on ao3 (if someone knows their tumblr lmk) also wrote a oneshot for this premise: Blame it on the Flame]

my heather & ray playlist for listening as u read

***

It's been two months since Panic ended. As much as Panic ever ends for someone who has played it, or for Carp where Panic sometimes feels like its secret beating heart. The one thing that keeps the youth of this town alert, alive, aching for bigger and better things.

Panic may be dumb, but sometimes Heather thinks it's the one thing that reminds them all they have any say at all in their own lives.

"Heather! You dropped this," comes a voice from behind her, and Heather turns. Drew is holding out the pack of crayons she'd just bought from the pharmacy, which clearly fell from between her arms. "Seems important," he says with a kind smile.

"Thanks, Drew." Heather sighs as she reaches out and takes the pack, stacking it back into the crook of her arm with the toilet paper rolls and bottle of ibuprofen she'd just purchased.

Lily is out of crayons, and Heather can't forget the expressive hope in her eyes when she'd asked for more. Her and Ray had started drawing together on afternoons when he was over, and Heather wasn't going to be a contributing factor in ending that wholesome activity. Something they both seemed to enjoy.

"Lily would be sad if her and Ray couldn't work on the town map they've spent the last week drawing together. I've never seen either of them so focused on anything." She puffs out a breath.

It came as a surprise at first to see Ray so tender with Lily, so receptive, until Heather thought about it and realized maybe it wasn't a surprise at all. Ray, at his core, is a sweet person who simply had built a million protective shells around it. That's what kind people who live in the dirt were forced to do. Heather got it.

Drew's eyebrows quirk up. "You and Ray going well then?"

"Hm?" Heather tilts her head. She knows what he's asking, but Heather isn't ready to spill her guts on the sidewalk to Drew. Even if she likes Drew.

Because what her and Ray have has grown into something tender, too. Something she holds so closely and dearly to her chest that sometimes she's afraid if she holds it in the palm of her hand someone might grab it away, tear it before she can stop them.

Drew rolls his eyes. "You're not tricking anyone. He's such an asshole sometimes, but when we all saw him run into Graybill's house after you? I've never heard anyone scream someone's name like that. Dude was so into you even then."

Her eyebrows scrunch, meeting in the middle. "Graybill's house? What are you talking about?"

Now Drew is the one confused. "No one ever told you? As soon as we realized you and Natalie were missing he ran straight back into the fire. I can't believe no one mentioned it."

The conversation fades quickly after that, Heather making some passing remark, and the two saying goodbye companionably. But Heather can't stop thinking about it. The image of Ray running straight into the fire, calling her name, trying to save her from danger.

That was after she'd upset him. Even then he cared. Which isn't really a surprise, either, she supposes, but it does something to her heart. Makes it tighter, the fondness tightening something wicked in her chest. The inescapable feeling she has for him even more irrevocable.

***

She returns home to find Ray and Lily already in place. Heather ditches the toilet paper and other odds and ends into a nearby chair, tossing the crayons onto the coffee table they're circled around.

Ray looks up at her with a smile, dimple on display, that makes a smile of her own grow across her features.

"Thank you, Heather!" Lily sings, and Heather shoots a look her way before going to kiss the top of her head.

"Course, bug." She pauses to look at the map. They've made good progress. It has streets and houses drawn out but also little things. A book colored by the library. A pair of scissors by the hairdressers and a little heart Heather knows Lily must have drawn for their mom, even now. "Ray? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Ooo," Lily jokes, though her head remains dipped forward in concentration.

Ray holds out his hand, and Heather releases a huff of breath as she pulls him up to standing. He kisses her briefly, hands still connected between them, and she rolls her eyes.

They make their way to the kitchen, where Heather gets a pot of water boiling for dinner before turning around and kicking her foot at his leg.

He tilts his head, crowding closer to her. "What's that for, Nill? Gonna reprimand me?"

She crosses her arms, mostly because she wants to maintain some distance while she says what comes next. Ray can be too persuasive when he closes in, making her forget words she wants to say.

"You ran into the fire at Graybill's." It's not a question because they both know the answer.

She watches his face, and there's that wrecked look again he'd given her after she asked about the words he said on the bridge. Like she's seen a part of him he hadn't actually anticipated anyone getting a glimpse of, and he dips his head. It comes to rest on her shoulder for a second before he pulls back.

"How'd you find out?"

"Not telling." Her lips twist into something between a smirk and a smile. "You don't get to get hurt because of me, okay? That's not love."

He hums, clearly not agreeing, and Heather is mad at him almost. The fact that he believes his life to be more disposable than hers, but she supposes she's honored, too. That Ray would be willing to do that for her and not seek thanks, not even needing her to know it.

"My only regret is I couldn't save you." He shakes his head, looking out the window over the kitchen for a minute instead of at her. "But you didn't need me, hey? Did it all on your own like the badass you are."

"I am a badass," she agrees. He turns his head back with a laugh, and he flows like water when she pulls him in by the belt loops to kiss her. "Thank you, but you don't do that again, okay?"

"Panic is over, remember? No more opportunities to throw myself into the flames for Heather Nill."

Which isn't an agreement, and Heather thinks it's wrong anyways because Panic is never over for them. Panic is a game they're alway playing, trying to keep themselves calm to get through all of the challenges Carp throws at them.

But she loves him. She really does, and she thinks she'd probably do the same if she had to. The way she'd gotten behind the wheel for Lily. The way she'd jumped from a cliff for freedom. She would do a lot for the people she loves.

"You're an idiot," she reminds him, words meant to be sharp but coming out fragile anyways.

His smile is radiant. "Yours, though," and he kisses her again against the counter.

Yes, she thinks. You are.