#i just pray that she'll come back but my rational side keep telling me that she's probably dead

[kyojinofbraveos]

After 66 chapters, more than 5 years, Mr. Leonhardt finally made an appearance, this time we were able to get a full glance of him.

This was our first meeting with him.

Chapter 33.

After the basement reveal, first one, it didn’t took too much of an effort to figure out Annie’s father first wanted his daughter to be chosen as one of Warriors but then realized what he did was an awful, awful mistake after it was too late. So he asked his daughter one promise, that she’ll come back no matter what happens.

We thought he may be a Revolutionist, a kung-fu teacher and what else but he ended up being a an average looking sassy man that uses a walking stiff. 

Look how dissatisfied he looks when he sees Kalina and how the word “honor” is in commas. He is at Villi’s play because he is curious about what he is gonna reveal, not because he thinks this is an “honor” like Kalina does. 

He is quite sulk when Villi is telling the story of RBAM. 

Actually if you look at all his panels, the only time he is giving a different expression is that one panel he is talking about Annie. Like father like daughter, right?

Could it be that the only hope he’s holding onto is actually long gone or his daughter will be back to him and keep her promise?

[ssa-thotchnerr]

Don’t Let Me Drown

Anonymous asked:

maybe a Hotch angst with his daughter being kidnapped by unsub, and he decides to drown her because he knows that she’s afraid of water and can’t swim? Maybe no happy ending? Thank you so much!

word count: 2.2k words of pure ANGST

warnings: drowning, major character death, grief, angst to the max, sad!hotch, kinda shifty writing ngl

a/n: anon, you are EVIL! I love it though. Yeah, this is pretty sad cause Hotch is really sad 😭😭😭 anyway I feel like this is really shit so if yall could give some feedback, I would really appreciate it!

—

"Shut up!"

You winced as you were harshly hit over the head by your kidnapper. He slammed the back door of the van shut, causing you to flinch back in fear. He'd just tied your arms back, not wanting to risk you trying to scratch his eye out once more, since you'd nearly succeeded the first time over. You didn't care that you were full on crying, the kind of crying that shook your entire body painfully.

The kind of crying that suggested fear.

You didn't even remember what happened, one minute you were walking home from school, the next you were in some strangers van with your arms lashed behind your back painfully tight. He wasn't too bothered about you knowing his name of what he looked like, you knew what that meant. You knew why he didn't care about you knowing who he was, what he was going to do to anyone else he could get his hands on.

You knew he was gonna kill you.

The sheer thought made you whimper. You didn't want to die, not like this. Not in fear, not without saying goodbye to your dad, your little brother, your friends. You didn't want to be murdered, not be a case that JJ would be given one morning and be pinned up on a wall. Taking in a deep breath, you attempted to steady out your breathing, there was no way you were going down without at least trying to negotiate your way out of here.

"Please, let-let me go, I won't tell anyone, I-I promise," You said, looking up at the man as he slid the door of the van open. "You-you don't wanna do this." You tried your hardest not to stutter, but your nerves were at an all time high, you couldn't help it. He laughed as he reached forward and snatched you towards him, causing you to scream. "Let me go! Please!" You cried as he picked you up.

"Shut up, brat!" He snarled, throwing you onto the ground. Looking around, you realised you were at the lake near Quantico, meaning that if your dad and his team were working on this case already, you at least had a chance.

Right?

Pulling out your phone that he'd taken from your pocket, he grinned as he took a picture of you. You shook your head and let out an angry huff, your chest heaving with each and every breath you took. The Unsub smiled at you maliciously as he put your phone up to his ear.

"Poor baby, just wanting her daddy to come and save her, huh?" You sniffled as you looked up at him, an angry look on your face as your eyebrows were furrowed. "Well, how about I left you speak to your dad one more time, a final goodbye?" You felt your stomach drop.

Final goodbye?

You started to tug desperately at the rope lashing your arms to your side, fear overtaking your rational side as you realised where you were. You were by a river, you couldn't swim, and this guy appeared to know and have something against your dad.

"Hello, is this SSA Hotchner?"

—

Hotch let out a frustrated sigh as your phone went to voicemail once more. He'd tried calling you about 7 times, and every time he tried, it rang out to voicemail. Hotch knew that your phone was always on, after all, you were a modern day teenager, didn't all of them have their phones on all the time?

"Still nothing?" Derek asked. Hotch shook his head as he looked up at his colleague, trying to hide the complete and under distress he was feeling at the moment. But Derek had been working with Hotch for years, and he knew his usually stoic boss better than Hotch thought he did. "Hey, it's alright. We'll get her home, Y/N's a smart kid." Derek assured him.

"I know she's a smart kid, but she's still a child, she'll be scared," Hotch said. As much as he didn't want to think about it, he knew there was a possibility you were already dead. He hated that he thought of that, that you died scared, possibly painfully. Hotch had never answered his phone quicker than when your name flashed up on the screen. "Y/N-" Hotch was prepared to ground you until you graduated high school just for worrying him so much.

"Hello, is this SSA Hotchner?"

That wasn't you.

"Where's Y/N?" Hotch asked, trying to keep his voice steady. Derek looked out to the bullpen, seeing that the whole team, Minus Rossi and Emily, was there, he signalled to Hotch, who nodded as Derek left him.

"You'll be able to find Y/N at Lake Ridge," He answered.

"Help me! Dad!" You were crying. Hotch couldn't help but to do the same thing, he stood up, he didn't want to feel like it was a hopeless situation anymore. The line went silent for a minute, making Hotch freeze on the spot.

There was a scream.

The line went dead.

-

It was cold.

So, so cold.

But you found that after a while, it wasn't cold anymore. It almost felt comforting, that if you went just that little bit deeper, you would be able to get warmer, and warmer, and warmer. And it became just that, so comforting in fact, you found that you were drifting away from consciousness.

This was it.

And that was it.

Hotch practically dove out of the car as Derek pulled up, running out and getting right into the lake. He knew you couldn't swim. Everything he did, went against everything he was told to do. Don't rush into things, make sure the coast is clear, all of that was not to be ignored, but given the circumstances, Hotch wasn't much caring about what the law said. Yes, he was an FBI agent, but he was your father first.

Dear God, he hoped he still was your father.

The team watched from the shore as Hotch disappeared under the water, all of their hearts practically beating out of their chests. You were the first BAU Baby, the female embodiment of your father, something that Hotch would endlessly brag to Haley about when she’d visit the BAU with you. You’d always listen to Reid list of facts that there was no way a child your age could understand, Penelope would always be aware of your presence before hand and have a plushie ready for you so she could keep her coined title of being your favourite. They'd watched you grow up to the 16 year old they knew and loved, and they were praying that the last time they saw you, wasn't the last that they saw you alive.

"I called an ambulance just as we left, it should be here soon," Spencer said, still keeping his eyes on where Hotch had disappeared. It was a tense atmosphere, and with every passing second, the outcome of the situation became more and more bleak. After what felt like hours, Hotch resurfaced with you, unconscious in his arms.

“Oh my God,” JJ whispered, looking around at the team to see their reactions. Everyone was simply in shock. Hotch waded through the water, placing you on the ground and kneeling beside you. The whole team rushed to your side, Reid at your neck to feel for a pulse.

His stomach dropped when he felt nothing.

“Damn it, Y/N, wake up,” Hotch said, starting compressions on your chest. JJ was holding your hand, Derek was waiting on the ambulance. They’d completely forgotten about the UnSub, they were hoping that you could make it out of this alive to tell them about your captor. You had to make it out of this, you’d lost too much in the past years, surely you’d be allowed to not lose your life too? Your dad switched to mouth to mouth, but nothing appeared to be working. “Come on, honey, don’t leave me.” Hotch was desperate, his voice breaking as he spoke. Everyone was starting to feel sick, it was like watching Hotch grieve over Haley all over again, just 10x worse this time around.

You were still a child.

Throughout everything your dad tried, you remained completely unresponsive. Hotch knew that you were gone, but he didn’t want to think about it.

“Hotch,” He looked up at his colleagues, who were all looking at him with sympathy. None of them wanted to say anything, it would make everything real, make it hurt ten times worse. To Hotch, it felt like being dragged kicking and screaming into a nightmare, as he sat there, his oldest daughters body in his arms. Up until now, he had praying that he wouldn’t be planning another funeral, no, not for you. He didn’t want to be thinking about what he would be saying to everyone coming to the aforementioned funeral, about how he would have to use the past tense while speaking about you.

Hotch finally broke down.

JJ, Spencer and Derek left Hotch for a bit, this wasn’t exactly their time to be grieving. They hadn’t just lost their child, killed by their worst fear. To make things worse?

The ambulances arrived.

-

No one could say that they were particularly surprised when the unit chief stepped back for a bit. They all understood, how could they not? They didn’t even want to think about how Hotch was feeling, how he was dealing with the silence that now on,y came with a one child household. Everyone had went to your funeral, it was the first time anyone had seen Hotch since that day. Everyone had taken turns at going to check on him, and right now it was Emily and Derek’s turn.

“Hey,” Emily said, smiling sympathetically at Hotch as the front door opened. Hotch smiled back, both Emily and Derek knew that it was a fake smile, but the gesture was appreciated. “How are things?” She asked him.

“Alright, I guess,” Hotch answered vaguely. “Me and Jack cleared out some stuff from her room, he took her record player and all of her vinyls, he’d been begging for them for years,” He said, a real, genuine smile coming to his face.

“That’s good, man,” Derek said. “Is there anything you wanna talk about?” Derek asked. Hotch shook his head. It still hurt to talk about you, it was still too deep of a wound to mention. The thought he found himself mulling over often was what did he say if people asked him about his kids? He would surely have to mention you, right?

The only thing he could conjure up was; “I lost my daughter, but I have a son.”

He lost his daughter.

It hurt.

It really fucking hurt.

-

Later that night, Hotch had left Jack alone downstairs for a few hours while he finished some stuff in your room. Once coming downstairs, he paused as he saw you on the screen of the TV. He recognised the video, it was your 5th birthday party, Jack being only a baby at the time. Jack was still young, but old enough the know what had had happened to his older sister.

“Hey, what’s this?” Hotch asked. Jack paused it and looked up at his dad, wiping the tears away from his eyes. Hotch had noticed that Jack hadn’t cried yet, and he knew that different people grieved differently. He knew from experience.

“I found it, it had her name on it and I just wanted to see her again,” Jack said, trying his hardest to keep back the sob that was aching to escape. Hotch sensed this was coming, he knew his son.

“It’s alright to cry, Jack, she is-was your sister, you’re allowed to be upset,” Hotch said, the correction hurting more than the previous ones did. Jack shook his head, and the dam broke, he burst into tears. Hotch put his arm around Jack, pulling him close as he finally broke down. “I know it hurts.” He assured him.

“I just miss her,” Jack whispered, wiping his eyes.

“I know, I miss her too.”

—

Taglist

@snarky--starky @averyhotchner @snowangle1994 @pepperonysmcu @yeojiins @mollbt

[hellishmess]

40: The Wake of Understanding

March 6,2019 2:00 am

[Aspen]

Ana's face rests against the door frame. Puffs of breath can be seen against the glass.

Tonight went way sideways. She saw everything now. The side of us that I didn't want her to know.

She must be terrified, disgusted.

"She's going to hate me." I mutter.

"She's no stranger to death." Shay said, "She will not hate you."

I knew what he meant. Ana told me she’d killed someone in self defense. A man that tried to break into her house and rob her. She was a wreck even just reliving the memory for me.

"This is different. We sought out and killed them. She took life in self defense."

He didn't respond then.

"She will understand that they were void," Maeve added in.

Easy for them to say.

I breath in, watching as darkness speeds by us. If she decides that she can't be with me...

The thought dies. I want to wake her up and apologize. Tell her that I'll do whatever she says to make it up to her.

Can this even be made up?

The thought scared me still. Air stuck in my throat; muscles balled up.

This wasn't a fight. It's not like I forgot her birthday. I killed someone in front of her.

"Just take it one step at a time," Shay said. "She either will understand or she won't. Either way she can't tear herself away from us."

I scoff and bang my head against the window. "You're really bad at giving comforting advice."

"I'm told the effort is what counts."

I look to Maeve, "Quit lying to the vampire. It does no one any good."

She laughs, "If he tries to create a support group I'll cut him down then."

"Whatever," I huff. We're almost to my place. Quiet falls around us. My building was in view.

"I'm hungry." She says, rubbing her stomach.

"Better clean those wounds before you think about cooking anything."

Her middle finger shoots up without her even looking back. "I wouldn't have had these problems if you'd have pulled your weight."

"Fuck off. You handled them fine. I had Ana to look after."

"We're all lucky Ronan wasn't at this camp. Or we'd all be in a shit load of trouble."

She was right about that. With Lewick’s intell, we were drawing closer and closer to Ronan, and, by God, I pray that Ana is far away when we catch him.

Shay slides to a stop in the front of my building. I inhale and glance at Ana. She's still fogging up the window. I reach to nudge her, "Ana?"

"Im up," she says, her voice cold.

My gut twists at the tone in her voice.

Without a word, she gets out. With her arms wrapped around her, she walks up to my door.

I pause beside Maeve's door, unsure of how to handle this.

"It's going to be okay. Just be patient. " Maeve encouraged me forward.

My bottom lip's pressed between my teeth. "Thanks."

Climbing up the stairs towards Ana was hard. Dread drug me down and my stomach only twisted harder as I neared my door. Ana didn't turn to look at me when I opened it.

I locked it behind us, turning to see Ana with her bags in hand. She flings the bedroom door open, slinging open the drawers full of her clothes.

"Ana." I brush her arm to stop her.

She yanks away from me. "Don't touch me!"

I flinch back, giving her space while she continues to throw her things in there.

My mind starts to spin. My fear was right. I hold my hands up in peace. "Ana please."

"No," she shakes her head furiously. "I can't do this right now."

"I told you you weren’t ready. I warned you."

Ana whirls around, her eyes red from held back tears. "You're right. I should have listened to you. But I didn't and now I have to live with the understanding that my girlfriend is a killer. That my friends are killers."

I wince at the animosity of her words. "They were bad guys." I tried to reason with her. "Apart of Ronan’s crew. They weren't good people and they probably killed people themselves."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?! Dog eat dog bullshit," She hisses.

I can feel her pushing me away, see the fear in the back of her eyes. Panic rises up and clouds my judgement.

"Yes!" My voice raises and frustration flushes my body. I make a wide gesture with my hands. "The whole world's a better place without assholes like that and with them gone it's just less man power Ronan has."

"A killer of bad men is still a killer." Ana stops, practically freezes solid as she stares at me. The look in her eye turns my blood cold. "Aspen, you slaughtered those men effortlessly."

Her voice rises to the point where she's yelling, "With a flick of your wrist you killed a man, and then even without your magic, you managed to slit the throat of another right before stabbing him through the temple."

My mouths frozen shut. I can't think of anything to say. What can make this better?

Nothing comes to my rescue.

"I saw the darkness that you own and it scares the shit out of me." Ana blinks like she's clearing the memory away. "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Please, Ana! I'd never hurt you. You know that. You know me.”

"I don't know that anymore! I'm just now meeting this part of you!"

I step towards her. "An-"

She takes two steps back. Her arm extended to keep me at bay. "No. Don't come near me."

I stare at her hand. Hurt and angry, I snap out. "I told you. I fucking told you, but you were relentless! I tried to warn you because I knew you wouldn't understand."

"What is there to understand?!" Ana cries looking at me as if she wants to be able to.

She corrects herself, "How can I understand? How am I supposed to rationalize what I just saw? How am I supposed to live knowing that my girlfriend can kill with the same amount of effort it takes me to fold laundry?!"

Swept up in her own emotions, Ana takes a step closer to me. Her tearful eyes pin mine, and my heart breaks even further.

Her lip trembles as she chokes out her next thought. "How can I let you touch me with the exact same hands you used to kill that man? If you can tell me how I'm supposed to do that then I'll stay."

I bite down on my lip. I couldn't think of anything to make this any better. My hands twitched to wipe away her tears, brush her hair back behind her ears, but the knowledge that she'd flinch away holds me back.

Instead, frustration brought my hand through my own hair, trying to control the anger that rose to protect my hurt feelings.

"Exactly." Ana mutters, returning to throwing her clothes in her bags.

"I'm sorry," The words are ripped out of my chest in a plea. "Ana, I'm sorry. Let me make this up to you? I'll do anything. Don’t do this. Please."

She snaps up at me, "This isn't something you can just make up! I can't just forget this. Don't you understand that?"

"No! I don't understand that. Just like you don't get why we had to do what we did."

"Murder is never necessary."

"Oh so what you did wasn't necessary?" The retort was out of my mouth before I knew it.

The air catches in my throat, turning solid.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"I can't believe you just said that." Ana gasps.

“I'm sorry." I rush out, "I didn't mean it. It just slipped out and I was trying to get you to understand that-"

Ana turns into the bathroom. "Just don't. Don't say another word. I'm leaving."

"Where will you go? It's dangerous out there and it's late. You can't leave." I say, watching as she shoves her shampoo and conditioner on top of all her clothes.

Ana zipped her bags with force, "Are you going to forcefully keep me here?"

I shake my head. "You know I would never do anything against your will."

"Then I'm leaving." Grabbing her bag, she heads for the door.

"Ana! At least let me escort you to wherever."

"Why? So all the other killers will know I'm already the victim of another fucking murderer?"

I stop. It's another stab. I can't fight with her anymore. "I can't see you get hurt."

"And I can't see you." Ana shoots back, her face a wobbly mask of disgust.

I retreat back into myself. Anger rises to stay, protecting the sensitive feelings that threaten to rip me apart.

"Then leave," I grit out through clenched teeth. "If I'm so disgusting and evil to you, leave. You'll see. The Otherworld is even worse than the human one and sooner or later your going to experience it first hand."

Ana swings the door open. With one foot already outside, she pauses. "I've already experienced it."

I don't get another word in. The slam of my front door signals the end of the night.

My mind tries to process everything. I stand in the middle of my living room, fuming and huffing as my eyes burn holes through the door. Foolish hope flickers through my head, thinking she'll come back. Hoping that I'll think of something to say so I can chase after her and try and convince her to stay.

Neither happen. Instead a tide of hurt and anger swallows me whole.

"Fuck!" I scream, over turning my coffee table. Things scatter and I fling off my shoes. My fingers brush against the sheaths of my blades.

I throw the one I used tonight, sinking it deep into a wooden beam in the kitchen.

Unbuckling the rest of them and letting them clang to the floor, I strip and head for the shower.

Tuning the knob to blast the hot water, I step in. Cold water takes my breath away, stinging against my skin, but I hold my body still, suppressing shivers as I think back to Ana's disgrace of me.

The water started to turn hot, continuing to heat up until it scalds my shoulders. I see the blood that stained my hands. It flakes off and runs down my tub, tinting the water pink.

Ana saw the blood. The hands of a killer.

I scrub my body vigorously, trying to feel clean. The fight left me writhing with emotion and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I wanted to spit at the fact that I wasn't upset about the kills. I was upset at how Ana perceives me. She's disgusted of me, scared of me and whatever darkness she saw.

I hold my face under the water, closing my eyes to see the look on her face when I tried to touch her.

I bang my fist against the tile and shut off the shower.

Her words and the stupid things I said, replay in my head.

A numbness settles in my chest, amidst all the other emotions. Disgust for myself starts to color the void, and I let myself sit in it.

Maybe I deserve this. This pain and unhappiness for being such a bastard. This is my punishment for taking life like I have.

Slipping on a tank top, I find the booze in my kitchen and take it to bed with me.

The bottle replaces Ana.

I sneer at the cruel thought and take a swig, culling out the torturous feelings.