#i just talk qnd talk and talk and take everything im good faith

[chaostudee]

movies, rafe cameron

pairing : female reader x rafe cameron summary : "cus baby this ain't like the movies". warnings : angst? pining? miscommunucation? words : 3.1k a/n ; i haven't posted in like a year and ik this is so shit but ye idk.

it was never as simple as just loving. you wished it could've been but with rafe nothing was certain. at the start that was what you liked about him but when he failed to show up time after time you began to question. question whether he deserved you.

a week later you found him in bed with one of your best friends. that hurt like hell but truthfully you weren't that shocked. you knew he was hiding something. you just chose not to acknowlege it. maybe that was a mistake.

the look on rafe's face was something that you were never forget. it was mixed with hurt and guilt. in that moment you had wondered had he ever loved you? had you ever loved him?

at times you were certain of that answer but how can you love someone who put through you through that much hurt?

rafe wasnt a good boyfriend. he was always late, sloppy. he ignored you when he was with his friends. he would brush off your touch. hell he sometimes could barely look at you.

okay maybe you hadn't been a saint throughout the relationship but you made more of an effort than him anyway.

now 1 year later you watch as his arms holds firmly around her waist. he smiles as she talks. he kisses her head. he whispers in her ear.

you can't help but scoff at the display. so much for hating pda. sarah rejoins you and sighs when she spots who your view is focused on.

"her name is victoria" sarah says as she takes a sip of her beer before continuing "they've been going out for about 6 months....".

you blow out air and slowly nod. it wasn't like you didn't expect this but six months?!?! like damn who hurt him?.

"you got to talk to him".

you scoff at sarah.

"what would i even say?". you fold your arms across your chest. you knew damn well that there was plenty you had to say to him.

"everything you need to say" she pauses "he hasn't been the same since you guys you know...-".

"don't give me that bullshit sarah". picking up your drink from the nearby dresser you take a sip.

"if he really cared he would've....he would've been there but he wasn't, and i am so sick qnd tired of you being on his side. i did nithing wrong."

sarah begins to speak but you don't wait to hear. you grab your beer and walk off. you need to get out of here. anywhere but here. as you manoeuvre your way through the crowd you miss your footing placement but before you meet with the ground a pair of arms hold you up.

"hey". you recognized that voice all too well. you pull away from his grasp and look upwards to see an awkward smile on his face.

"hey" you reply, as you fidget awkwardly with the sleeve of your dress. you hadn't seen or spoken to him in over a year and although there was plenty you wanted to say nothing came to mind.

he looked mostly the same except that he had grown out his hair a bit. that had been your suggestion. an ache in your stomach creeps in when you remember.

"you grew out your hair" you state.

he chuckles and lowers his head down before meeting your eyes. "yeah, yeah i did...."

he pauses for a moment and then his gaze hardens. he stuffs his hands in his jean pockets. "i'm sorry y/n, i-".

you stop him before he can continue. "im sorry too but we were done a long time ago, i've moved and you have clearly moved on aswell". you gesture towards victoria who waves a hand at rafe. rafe looks back at you. like really looks at you.

the same look that he gave you that faithful night. a look of hurt and guilt. and like that night you wanted nothing more than to strangle him but deep down you knew you could never really be fully mad at him.

:::

it had been a week since your awkward encounter with rafe and the conversation still lingered in the back of your mind.

every so often you couldn't help but admit that he looked just as handsome as ever.

"i know that look" sarah says as she rests her chin on her hand on the bed. you two had made up quickly as you usually did. fights were short lived with you two.

"what do you mean?" you ask as you throw another dress on the bed. the camerons were holding some fancy ass party tonight and sarah had given you the task of picking out your outfits.

"you know damn well, i know that you haven't stopped thinking about him since the party".

you chuckle and begin to fathom an excuse but sarah raises her eyebrows so instead you just nod and shake your head.

you turn away from her and begin flipping through the rack of ball gowns.

"you know he broke up with victoria"

this causes you to stop your fingers abrubtly.

"what?"

sarah smirks. "ye i know and i mean he wasn't even upset...."

"really...?" you ask and you can't even smother the smirk on your face. "why.....?".

sarah laughs. "i didn't think you were that stupid y/n".

your heart races at her words. could you really be the reason why rafe broke it off with victoria.

:::

you had chosen to wear an emerald green dress from sarah's wardrobe along with matching heels.

you nervously checked your watch as you waited for your parents at the front of the house. your father helped your mother out of the car and behind them came your brother and his girlfriend.

you were beyond nervous at this point. you began to fix your hair once again as your heart raced at the thought of seeing him.

your brother pressed the doorbell and beside you, you felt a comforting hand on your shoulder. your mother understood and you smiled at her in gratitude.

the door opened swiftly after the bell rang out. ward cameron welcomed everyone with a smile and an embrace. you were last to be welcomed and after standing there awakwardly ward smiled and pulled you in for a hug.

after ward closed the door behind you and you watched as your mother was catching up with rose. you spotted sarah beside wheezie but you were looking for somebody familiar.

"rafe" called ward. the sound of his name made you anxious. moments later he walked in. once you saw him you swear your breath caught in your throat.

he wore a navy suit, no tie and his hair was all messy. god he had never looked better. he began to walk over but his footsteps slowed when he saw you.

of course he knew you were coming tonight but he hadn't expected you to be this beautiful. your dress was hugging your curves in just the right places and your hair was pulled back, which you rarely had it, so rafe could see your features. and god those dimples would be the death of him.

"so um....ill leave you two to talk" says ward as he walks off to join his wife in discussion with your parents.

"you look-"

"i like-"

you both laugh as you interrupt eachothers sentences. his smile brought butterflies to your stomach. you had missed that smile.

"you first" you prompt.

he nods and looks you up and down. you can't help but blush. you missed when he looked at you like that. you missed a lot about him.

"you look incredible" he says truthfully. you smile at him. "you don't look too bad yourself cameron".

he smiles. you smile. he looks at you. you look back.

"do you want to talk outside?". the words come out of your mouth before you register what you are saying.

he looks surprised but then nods.

:::

your legs dangle in the water at the edge of the pool. rafe hands you a beer as he sits down beside you.

"i dont even know why i asked you to come out here" you chuckle before taking a swig of your beer.

"yes you do".

you turn to look at him. "yes you do" he repeats.

his eyes falter down to your lips then back up to your eyeline. if it wasn't for your inner conscience you would've kissed him.

instead you stood up quickly and shook your head at him.

"no no no no" you mumble, shaking your head as you speak.

rafe stands up and raises his hand as he nears you.

"no rafe you can't do that".

"do what?"

you scoff. "act like you can just kiss me and everything will be okay, it doesn't work like that".

"hell you cheated on me with my bestfriend and what now you want me back?".

there was silence then but the voices from inside the house. rafe was looking shamefully at his feet.

he couldn't even own up to his actions.

"fuck this". you pick up your heels and make a run for it. part of you was hoping he would chase you or call out your name but he didn't. he had wanted to but what would he even say?

there was no apology big enough for what he had done to you. perhaps you were better off without him.

:::

alone with a glass of wine was not how you had expected the evening to end. well you were with sarah earlier but she had disappeared a few minutes ago.

you hear someone call your name so you turn around. your heart sinks when you realize it is not him but your mother beckoning you to leave.

setting down your glass you take a look around just incase but no one. you sigh and head over to your mother and take her arm. she rubs your arm soothingly as you make your way over to the car.

as you open the door of the car you hear a shout.

"y/n wait!".

you hesitate before getting into the vehicle. there he was his hair disheleved and a distraught look on his face.

part of you wanted to get into the car and drive off but you know all too well what you were going to do.

"what do you want?" you ask bluntly. you decided you couldn't give him the satisfaction that you wanted him.

"you y/n". "i want you". he says as he moves closer so that there are but inches between you.

"you shoudl"ve thought about that before cheating on me" you reply shoving him back.

he grunts softly and runs a hand through his hair."fuck i know it was wrong i know i know. you dont know how sorry i am for doing it. im going to regret it for the rest of my life if it means i cant have you."

"please y/n. please." he looks down at you his eyes kept firmly on your lips. you licked your lips but refused to close the gap between you.

"fuck y/n what else can i do?". he places his hands on your waist, you glare at him but don't say anything. he slowly sinks to his knees, his head resting at your feet.

"god your so beautiful, i dont know how i can live knowing that you'll never be mine again please-"

you pull him up practically yanking him up from the ground. "if you say please one more time i swear to god ill fucking kill you".

he smirks at you. "what?" you say angrily.

"that was hot".

your cheeks go red and this time you don't even hesitate or think. you pull him closer placing your hand on his cheek. his lips meet yours and everything else melts away. its like your first kiss all over again. the spark is still there and the butterflies you had the night.

you can hear someone cheering who can only be your mother. you can't help but smile through the kiss.

nothing was decided yet but it didn't matter. at this moment in time rafe cameron was yours and only yours. his lips were on yours. his heart was yours.

and that was all that counted.

[loveinlilies]

So upon further thinking about the canon lore and the conflict of creationism narratives, I think it's safe to assume we can say that abyss msgic is the opposing force to celestia's powers? With the characters referenced to be from the abyss, and their powers it's no wonder that Celestis fears the abyss so much. Sure the Fatui and the Tsaritsa are militarizing (which I interpret as terrible being a military kid) but that is nothing in comparison to losing godly powers (or rather the use of religon as validity) to human advancement and drive.

From the Human ability v God standpoint of the narrative I absolutely can't wait to find out if that's where they're going with it. So far the abyss somewhat lies in the dark, with only small events and no world ending ones yet (which I guess is good for run time sake). The abyss herald is sure to give some info but... I can say for sure that real world events (maybe involving abyss and genetic remodeling) will play in during future updates, and mayhaps Mihoyo is planning that? I'm even more excited by it's real world relevance, though I do hope they show ways to advance issues irl in the process (but that's my thing, Mihoyo are the creators).

From what we've seen of the abyss related characters (ie: their motifs) it makes absolutely perfect sense why they'd choose to actively fight the god related power narrative!

Kaeya's people died with no interruption, qnd he gained a vision by losing everything. He has no regard for the excuses of religious and religon in human affairs, and extensively doesn't believe in the gods all encompassing abilities. His character is based off of becoming cold in response to loss, and it makes him an AMAZING asset for this story use. Imo especially currently, because I keep seeing more skepticism of the excuses for abuse in poc countries related to religion I am personally glad they chose him to represent it (especially because of wars and the relevancy to making them test faith). Not glad he plays into a racist troupe, but it's used to warn, those who actively oversexulize him are taking part in the literal racist narrative again...

Another character with these motifs is Albedo. Who through both art and science has learned to create anything he imagines. His mind is ever expansive, to the point where he forfeits emitting to some point for protection (of others). He learned how to literally create life from his master, so he has the innate ability to debunk creation myths. This is a BIG thing for me as being in the deep south of America... people tend to use religion for a lot of things with reasoning of creationism, and this is an aspect that can really mess with those who believe in willfully ignorant thinking.

Dainsleif's prophetic tellings might be able to keep us from a goal Celestia has (possibly to kill us). Which could really throw any narrative for a spin. Just like tarot card reading/astrological symbolism and tracking, words have power, and for those who have knowledge of how it effects people (especially in Dainsleif's case where we theorize he's like Paimon for Aether) he could very much so change any outcome in the future...

You can see it as father son and spirit too in some capacity, but I don't necessarily want to write that one out as I haven't done research yet. I just really wanted to write this out and talk about it on here since I love theorizing with people (and I'm a theory nerd). I especially love how they're using the characters to advance it so far, I have very high hopes!

Ps. Mihoyo Ily in depth thinking sm I am crying

MIHOYO PLEASE IM LOSING MY MIND THE DETAIL 🙏✨