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liviesjuno · 2 days ago

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Every Definitive Byler Proof Broken Down

starting with - season one

1) “Will’s homophobia”

it’s said a few times here and there throughout season one that Will is often treated as “the gay one” in the party. His own dad called him “queer” and a “f*g” and bullies at school call him “gay” and a “fairy”

2) “Mike treats Will going missing differently to everyone else” :

we see from the very start of the season that Mike treats Will differently to all his other friends. It’s established that their bond is different from the others. Will, unlike Dustin and Lucas, tells Mike immediately that the roll was a 7. it’s already set in stone that their bond is built on trust and that they’re closer. Mike also has every drawing Will’s ever made for him in a binder and on his wall.

even when Will was missing, it’s still brought up that Mike’s feelings towards Will are different than his feelings towards his other friends. He’s the only one in his friend group much more focused on finding Will, he even went as far as keeping a strange bald girl with powers just because she could help (aside from the fact he also kept el because she was on the run from bad men). His feelings towards Will aren’t hidden to everyone else, even his own mom sees it.

(also that cute scene from Mike seeing Will in hospital for the first time since he went missing and he rests his head on his heart)

season two

1) “Mike notices things about Will that others don’t”:

despite Mike being more sensitive and aware of Will since he went missing, we see Mike picking up on small things about Will.

2) “Mike is more affectionate and protective over Will than any of his other friends”:

whilst Will going missing has a role to play in this, it goes without saying that Mike is worlds more affectionate and protective of Will than any of his other friends. Such as holding his hand, wrapping his shoulder around him and making efforts to be closer to him in group scenarios.

3) “Crazy Together”:

after suffering another episode Mike take’s Will home (which actually ends up being Mike’s home). In a sweet little conversation where they both open up to each other (Will talks about his episodes and Mike talks about how he keeps seeing eleven) Mike turns to Will and says “I don’t know I feel like I��m going crazy” Will then responds “yeah, me too.” Mike smirks in a caring way and says “Well, if we’re both going crazy we’ll go crazy together, right?” Will turns his head, smiling “yeah. Crazy together.”

This is one of the most famous byler proofs to date.

4) “Will remembers who Mike is even when he is possessed”:

when Will is in hospital after suffering internal burning from being connected to the shadow monster, and the vines related to it being burned underground. He is asked by Owen’s if he remembers who Mike is as Will is suffering amnesia type symptoms. And he does! (Mike also gets really giddy after this lol)

5) “It was the best thing I’ve ever done”:

in an attempt to bring Will back to his normal state and keep him occupied whilst he taps away at morse code, Mike digs deep down and truly opens up about how he feels and his first memory of Will. He tells Will every intricate detailing of the first day that they met and tells him becoming his friend was the best thing he’d ever done.

6) “Mike is lonely without Will at the snowball”:

this is one of the smaller byler proofs but a proof nonetheless. In the last episode of season two, the whole party goes to the school winter dance called “the snowball”. In which a girl comes up to Will and asks him to dance, initially it seems Mike doesn’t care as he encourages Will to dance with the girl. But when Will is actually gone, Mike looks at him in parallel to Dustin looking at Max with Lucas. Part of him wishing he maybe didn’t encourage Will to go dance at all.

season three

1) “Mike is always with Will when he’s not with Eleven”:

in season three of stranger things, it kicks off (unfortunately) with Mike and El making out to some music. this seems to be one of the only things they ever do together. When they’re apart and when they break up due to Mike lying (because of hopper). Mike and Will are often the main pair, even when El and Mike were together, Will is usually standing next to them or next to Mike.

2 & 3) “Mike reacts differently to his break up with El and his fight with Will” & “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”:

this is a two in one because they’re linked:

in season three after El had enough with Mike’s bullshit and lies, she “dumps his ass”. Mike responds to this with the goofiest look on his face and spends all his time moping around, eating chips and being sexist.

Meanwhile after Mike’s fight with Will, he looks at Will leaving with a really emotional look on his face and bike’s to his house in the rain to apologise and then to Castle Byers when he wasn’t at home.

It’s important to note that Max said “he’ll come crawling back to you in no time begging for forgiveness” which is exactly what Mike did with Will, not with El.

Also Mike and El’s breakup was completely unserious. It was sunny, ice cream, people around, friends witnessing and Max and El laughing afterwards.

Mike and Will’s fight was private, in the rain, blue colours all around, heated and sad.

Speaking of their fight…

When Mike and Lucas make fun of Will’s campaign because they think turning 13 makes them too old for that stuff now. Will storms off (rightfully so) and starts to head home. Mike follows him, apologising and trying to reassure him that it’s a cool campaign but they’re just not in the mood right now. He then gets offended when Will says Mike is ruining their party, he says he’s destroying everything just so he can swap spit with some “stupid girl”. Mike then snaps in what people assume is internalised homophobia and projection and gives us the infamous line (this is also a hint into will being gay)

“El’s not stupid. It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”.

ouch.

4) “Mike and Will’s goodbye was much more intimate than Mike and El’s”:

at the end of season three, the Byers and El prepare to move to California after the “death” of El’s dad hopper.

When packing away a dnd set into the donation box, Mike stops Will and tells him as such. Will then tells him “I know, I’ll just use yours when I come back. I mean, if we still wanna play.” Mike then responds “yeah but, what if you wanna join another party” (oh poor Will has no idea how ironic this is) Will then responds with “not possible.” While smirking at Mike, Mike smiles back (of course) and then they have a very deep hug out front before Will leaves.

on the other hand…

Mike and El’s goodbye is very… awkward. It starts of sweet, Mike comes in and tells El that he’ll be calling her so much on Dustin’s cerebro and then they kinda talk about how much they both like gifts? ok. then El tells Mike she heard what he said about her and Mike pretends like he has no idea what she’s talking about. El then reminds Mike by telling him that she loves him too. Quick! Take a guess how Mike responds.

1) smiles

2) kisses her

3) “you do?” In a smiley way

4) stands awkwardly whilst she kisses him in front of an open closet (basic foreshadowing lmfao) and he doesn’t even kiss back. Then when she walks away, he stands there confused and staring at the ground.

…….

the answer is…. 4!! A totally normal way to respond to your feelings getting reciprocated. right?

Mike and El share a hug out front as well, and then Mike passionately looks at the Byers house whilst hoppers letter starts talking about not wanting things to change and that change is scary and then he rides his bike off into the distance. Well that totally wasn’t gay as fuck. Moving on.

season four (the gayest of them all)

1) “Will is painting a lot […] I’m sure there’s someone he likes”:

the season in present time, kicks off with El’s letter to Mike about life in California. It goes through things like Joyce having a new job, Jonathan smoking smelly plants 🍃 and… oh! what’s that? Will painting something for a girl, and he’s… been acting weird? there might be someone he likes? Oh this is terrifying news for Michael Queerler. anyways, the actual point of this letter is to give a hint to the audience that Will has a crush on someone, he’s making a painting for them and it’s supposed to be a girl but if you have basic media comprehension it’s for a boy. and that boy is Mike wheeler.

2) “Will gets his leg felt up by a girl’s foot and he gay panics”:

a very common and easy to spot hint of Will being gay is when Will is sitting in class and a girl pushes her foot over to Will’s leg and starts brushing it. She gives him a flirty look, but Will being gay, shuts her down and brings his leg further into himself and away from her.

3) “Mike’s airport “hug” with Will”:

I think this is one of the biggest proof for bylers. Mike’s awkward as fuck airport hug. When Mike arrives in California, dressed as a totally different version of himself. He kisses el, gives her some flowers and pretends to pay no attention to Will or that he even exists. Then when Will steps into the frame, Mike goes “oh. hey.” and….. shoulder taps him? your best friends of like 10 years and you shoulder tap him? okay Mike.

4) “Mike is jealous of Will and makes it a whole scene”:

following the awkward hug at the airport, Mike asks immediately after it what the rolled up painting in Will’s hand is. (As if he doesn’t know lmfao) Will tells him “nothing, it’s just this painting I’ve been working on” Mike then pretending to not give a single shit goes “cool.” And assumes Will has brung this painting for the girl he likes and that she might be meeting them here today. Mike then thinks his assumption becomes reality when El mentions the name Angela. Will then repeats “Angela?” Back to her and Mike gives Will a look. He thinks Angela is the girl Will must’ve made his painting for and he gets clingy with El after this, pretending to ignore Will.

speaking of…

5) “Mike pretends to ignore Will but actually proves he’s been paying attention the whole time”:

after the whole commotion of El getting bullied, Mike finding out the truth and trying to look for her. Mike doesn’t decide to get angry with El for lying.. no no he decided to turn his anger towards Will. He then accuses him of “sabotaging the whole day” as if his girlfriend didn’t just get bullied but ok. He then lists everything Will has been doing such as moping and barely talking.

6) “Mike’s gay ass taking everything Will says romantically in their rinkomania fight”:

After Mike gets angry with Will for being miserable and Will gets angry with Mike for being a third wheel, Mike then walks away and Will stops him in his tracks by asking about their friendship “well, what about us?”

Mike then turns around with a look of despair and says “what?”

Will then gets angry at Mike and basically says it’s ridiculous that Mike is mad Will didn’t talk to him as Mike made it super clear he isn’t interested in anything he has to say. It’s been a year (it’s barely been six months lol) and Mike has only called him a couple times, meanwhile El has a book of letters from him. Mike then snaps with “that’s because she’s my girlfriend Will” and Will responds, once again only talking about their friendship “and us?” Then Mike taking things romantically again says “we’re friends. WE’RE FRIENDS.” ….. who said you weren’t Micheal?

7) “Mike stuck by Will’s side as opposed to El’s even though they were in a fight and him and El weren’t (yet)”:

after their intensely gay fight where “in the closet” an original made song for the sound track starts playing. Mike and Will hear a scream, they turn around and see El standing over her bully now covered in blood. They run over to see more of what’s happened, and they are shocked to say the least. El stands there stunned at what she’s done, and Mike starts exclaiming “what did you do? What did you do?” Which triggers a lab flashback for El (what a healthy relationship). Mike is mad with El for some reason even though he’s literally seen her snap his bullies arm and snap people’s necks. And throughout this, he sticks with Will at Rinkomania while joining the turning heads that stare at El in fear and disgust as he stands next to Will, he leans next to and looks at Will in the van on the way home and he even suffers in silence during breakfast with Will. Even though… they’re in a fight? Ok.

8) “From, Mike”:

a day has passed since the incident at rinkomania and Mike has entered El’s room to clear things up. He tells El that she didn’t have to lie to him as he understands what it’s like to be bullied. El tells him he doesn’t understand that, she doesn’t belong and that he thinks she’s a monster. Mike argues he doesn’t and that he cares for her so much. El then argues that that’s all he does. “Care” for her, but he doesn’t love her anymore. Mike argues against this and says “who said that I didn’t” El says “you never say it” Mike argues “I say it.” And then El pulls up the receipts. She starts throwing each letter Mike has written whilst crying “From Mike, From Mike, From Mike” … and so on. Instead of Mike reassuring El that he does love her, he instead GASLIGHTS her and says that she’s being “ridiculous” and that she knows how he feels about her and that she shouldn’t allow these “mouth breathers” (El’s bullies which have nothing to do with this) to ruin their relationship. He then goes onto tell her everything he likes about her… which is…. Well, her powers. which she doesn’t even have anymore. He calls her a superhero and she says “not anymore.” Mike doesn’t even come up with a response for this.

9) “Looks like it’s gonna be up to us again.”:

a day later since Mike and El’s big fight and El is now off to quote “become a superhero again”. She writes this in a letter to Mike that says “From, El” (oh I love her so much, get his ass). Mike sits there staring at it before Will buts in telling him that staring at it won’t make it change. Mike then crumples up what could be El’s last letter to him and throws it in the trash… alright.

Mike then opens up to Will about their fight, how it felt like one of those fights you can’t come back from. He says that there’s something he should’ve said and if he said it maybe El would want him there with her but he… *sigh* “didn’t know what to say” 🧍🏼‍♀️okay. Will then reassures him that he’s going to see her again and whatever he didn’t say, he can say to her then. Mike doesn’t seem too pleased about this, but the conversation then moves forward. Will then goes onto talk about how it was “you guys” (Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Max & El… more so Mike lol) who saved him. Mike then says really flirty “looks like it’s gonna be up to us again” and Will responds also really flirty “it always is, isn’t it?” Then they share a super flirty laugh where they both can’t even contain their gayness.

10) “it’s Hawkins, it’s not the same without you.”:

after developing a plan to go find El. Mike, Jonathan and Will start packing for a road trip. In the middle of packing, Mike comes into Will’s bedroom and starts to apologise to him. He starts off with saying “thanks by the way..” to which Will says “for what?” Then Mike says “for knocking some sense into me, I was being a total self pitying idiot” and then Will says “I didn’t say it” very flirty to which Mike says “you didn’t have to” also very flirty (this is also a very important parallel to Mike and El’s fight where she says “you never say it” and Mike goes “I say it.”) He then starts bringing up the past couple of days, to which Will responds with “you don’t have to say anything.. I was being a total jerk to El, I deserve it”. (My selfless shayla I love you Will) Mike cuts him off “no.. no you didn’t deserve anything.” Will turns around, looking at Mike now listening and paying attention to what he has to say, and what he has to say is very important.

“listen, the truth is the last year.. has been weird. you know? and I mean, you know, Max and Lucas and Dustin they’re - they’re great… they’re great it’s just - - it’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you.”

so Mike thinks home isn’t the same without Will and once again proving he feels differently towards Will than his other friends.

“And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El and… I don’t know maybe I feel like I lost you or something. Does that make sense?”

okay, wrap it up. I’m gonna cry.

“I have no idea what’s gonna happen next. But… whatever it is, I think we should work together. I think it’ll be easier if we’re a team. Friends. Best friends.”

we all know what he really wanted to say… lol.

all this followed by a painfully flirty

“Cool.” By Will and another “Cool.” By Mike with a smiley up and down look. and…. *INTERRUPTION TROPE*

11) “The interruption trope”:

going back a couple proofs and forward some too, byler is constantly suffering from the interruption trope this season.

It happens during “looks like it’s gonna be up to us again” scene, the “it’s Hawkins it’s not the same without you” scene, the “what if they don’t like the truth” scene on the car and lastly at the end of the series during the “We will. We will.” Scene. WOW. that’s pretty gay. Why are you interrupting them duffers? What would they do if uninterrupted? Hm? Moving on…

12) “Mike protecting Will”:

this is a very quick byler proof, but during the shooting scene Mike immediately protects Will and puts his arm over him and makes sure to remain in front of him. cuties.

13) “The triple take”:

we all know the triple take, we all love the triple take. all you need is to see it and soak it all in.

well that wasn’t the least bit suspicious. lol.

14) “What if they don’t like the truth”:

after burying a dead man’s body together #couplegoals

Mike and Will take a second to rest on one of the cars with a couple of soda cans (this is a craaaazyyy parallel to jancy in season two by the way).

Mike starts yapping AGAIN about if he said something that he for some reason doesn’t know what it is that he should’ve said then he’d know where El is and he’d be there right now. Idk I’m bored of this too. Will (god bless his patient soul) starts comforting Mike AGAIN and starts opening up from his own emotions. He says “sometimes.. I think it’s just scary to open up like that. to say how you truly feel. Especially to people you care about the most. because what if- what if they don’t like the truth”. Mike nods (for some reason *wink*) even though he knows him saying “I love you” is the truth El wants to hear. but ok. Anyway, if you couldn’t tell this is one of many hints to Will being gay also.

15) “Mike holding the phone for Will”:

this isn’t necessarily a proof, but it’s cute that Mike was holding the phone for Will and allowed Will’s hand to hold his on top. I love them.

16) “The Van Scene”:

oh boy oh boy where to begin…

Not only does Mike use the good old Will voice (I was gonna put this in here as an official byler proof, but it’s more of just a fun detail) he is constantly staring at Will in ways you can’t get straight explanations for.

Obviously, in this scene Will gives his painting to Mike as a way to cheer him up after (yet again) talking about how shit his relationship with El is. yeah I bet even milevens were sick of it at this point.

Mike unravels the painting and Will stares, anxiously waiting for a positive response. Mike smiles widely and Will reciprocates proudly with a smile of his own. Mike looks up at him and asks “did you paint this” after exclaiming how amazing it is. Will responds “yeah- I mean.. El asked me to, she commissioned it basically she told me what to draw”. NO. NOOOOOO. this is where every byler in the world face palmed and cried for 10 days.

he then goes on to tell Mike about the painting and all his feelings for him while disguising them as El’s.

“anyway, my point is. See how you’re leading us here? You’re guiding the whole party. Inspiring us. That- that’s what you do. And see your coat of arms here? It’s a heart. And I know it’s sort of on the nose, but, that’s what holds this whole party together. Heart.” Will was so brave for this actually, what straight homie makes a painting for his friend and puts a whole heart on his person alone. okay.

he then goes on to describing his feelings, I changed them to what it would be like if he didn’t use El’s name.

“I mean, without heart we’d all fall apart. Even me, especially me. These past few months I’ve been so lost without you. It’s just I’m so different from other people and… when you’re - when you’re different. Sometimes… you feel like a mistake. but you make me feel like I’m not a mistake at all, like I’m better for being different and that gives me the courage to fight on. If I was mean to you or if I seemed like I was pushing you away it’s probably just because I’m scared of losing you just like you’re scared of losing her.” (I know that one hurt, but from Will’s pov he believes Mike feels nothing towards him.) “and - and if I was going to lose you I- I think I’d just rather get it over with quick, like ripping off a bandaid. So yeah, I need you Mike. And I always will.”

“yeah?” Mike responds.

“Yeah.” Will answers, and cries out the window. Holy fucking shit. The duffers need to be hunted with pitchforks for that one.

17) “Mike and El’s reunion”:

after finally finding El, Mike hops out the van and they share a (honestly I can’t even lie about this) very sweet reunion. Except…

Will is in the background, because apparently he just loves to linger in the background of every heartfelt mileven scene lmfao. Mike then looks at Will, looks at El, looks at Will and then looks at El again. It’s a very interesting scene to say the least and then El and Will have this adorable reunion #brothersistergoals

18) “El’s drawing”:

I have nothing to say other than how painfully set up this is lmfao.

19) “Will’s heart to heart with Jonathan”:

this is a nice little bonus of just proving to the painfully stupid general audience that Will is gay and that Jonathan will always be there to support him. Jonathan basically reassures him of that, and Will tells him he’ll always be there for him too.

it’s a really beautiful scene and it ends with a tearful hug from both ends. I’m gonna cry if Will comes out to him next season for real.

20) “Mike’s love confession to El”:

not only was Mike telling the biggest amount of horseshit in this “love confession” but it’s also one of the biggest byler proofs there is.

For some odd reason, Mike sat there telling El the exact opposite of what she wanted to hear by listing everything he loves about her… again… which is.. again.. her powers? Even though he loves her without her powers? He also proceeds to call her a superhero again but this time “my superhero”. Okay.

He also says his life started the day he found her in the woods (“that’s not will?” Lmfao) and he’s loved her ever since that day… even though he wanted to get rid of her that same night to focus on finding Will, only kept her because she was on the run from bad men and could help find Will, got mad and snapped when she couldn’t help find Will, forgave her again when she found him in the walkie talkie, stopped them from finding Will so their whole friend group fell out, Called her a weapon and then used her for finding Will again. But sure, yeah, you’ve loved her this whole time michael.

He also couldn’t spit out the words “I love you” until Will got his attention and told him “you’re the heart. You’re the heart!” (I also find it hilarious how neither Will or Jonathan knew that Mike couldn’t say “I love you” and they’re just sitting there watching Mike say all this shit as if it means something).

Will is also constantly in the background of this love confession, more specifically when Mike says “I love you”. Imagine if in every love confession the “third wheel” or the “other woman/man” in the love triangle was just casually in the background with another season to go and their feelings haven’t properly been brought to the table yet. that’s pretty suspicious if you ask me.

there’s also the fact it’s never brought up again, Mike and El don’t discuss it and they don’t have a heart to heart but you know who does….?

21) “We will. We will.”:

two days have passed since Mike’s ass love confession and the gang have arrived back in Hawkins. After visiting max in hospital (and Mike and Will sharing a hug through Lucas) they’re now helping El clean up hoppers cabin.

El walks past Will and Mike sassy-ly and slams the door behind her (well sort of, this cutie still leaves it open 3 inches I love her). Will asks if she’s spoken to Mike at all, but he says she hasn’t much. He did say that she was worried she wasn’t ready and that Dr. Brenner might have been right when he said that. He also proceeds to say he hopes 001 (vecna) is dead.

Will, being dramatic as always and forever the bearer of bad news says he’s not dead. He tells Mike that now that he’s here in Hawkins, he can feel him, that he’s still alive but he’s hurting. and that it’s strange knowing now who it was this whole time, and he still remembers what he thinks and how he thinks. and that he’s not going to stop. Ever. Not until he’s taken everything and everyone. He then tells Mike “we have to kill him.”

Mike then grabs his shoulder, gripping tightly

“And we will. We will.”

*skrrrttt* you guessed it. ANOTHER interruption trope.

22) “Mike and Will standing next to the canon couples of the show”:

we’ve reached the very last scene of stranger things season 4 and also the very last byler proof of this post. Mike, Will, Nancy, Jonathan, Hopper and Joyce are all standing on the hill while El stands in-front of them holding the flowers she loves decaying in her hands.

there’s A LOT of symbolism here. The fact the flowers El is holding are the ones Mike gave to her at the start of season 4 and now they’re crumbling away in her hands possibly symbolising her and Mike’s relationship.

And of course, the most obvious one, Jancy and Jopper standing next to Byler. You seriously cannot make this up, if this isn’t the most blatantly obvious and in your face foreshadowing I don’t know what is.

To not make byler canon after all THIS is insane.

Anyway, thank you for reading this whole yap session. I care for you… so much. lol but yeah please give this a like it took me FOREVER. and remember, byler is endgame.

#byler #mike wheeler #stranger things #bylerendgame #will byers #willandmike #anti mileven #bylerproof #theory #analysis #deep analysis #proof #ship #byleriscanon #bylerisnotfanservice #byler scene #byler brainrot

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rickyriddle · 2 days ago

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ShaunaHat Analysis

Hey there, I’ve been meaning to write an analysis for Shauna and Melissa’s relationship for a while, and after seeing the latest interview with Jenna Burgess, as well as reading a lot of takes I don’t personally agree with regarding their relationship or Melissa as a character. It made me want to give my own perspective on them and hopefully change some people’s minds regarding them.

For starters, I want to make it clear from the start that the point of this analysis isn’t to convince anything that it’s a good relationship, or make you enjoy them if you really don’t. I am very aware that Shauna/Melissa is a toxic relationship that evolved into outright abuse, and it’s totally fine to be uncomfortable with that. But what I wish to accomplish is to give some clarity as to why they are that way, individually and as a couple.

So, for this analysis, I’ll explore who Melissa and Shauna are as people and how it contributed to them starting a relationship. I want to delve into their individual motivation for dating each other, what they saw in each other, how it affected them and why it ultimately ended the way it did. Essentially, I’m looking to elucidate the when, why and how of their relationships. So please, bear with me.

I'd recommend checking out the two latest interviews Jenna Burgess did, since I'll be referencing them (and they are super interesting). The first one is by PopCultureWithPat and the other one is by kfunggg.

ps: this analysis is over 20k words, I might post it in separated parts that can work individually and if so, I’ll add the links to those posts here.

edit: the analysis is now on AO3 if you'd prefer to read it there

Introduction

First, I think establishing who Melissa is as a character would help explain how this relationship became a thing. As for now, we don’t know much about Melissa’s backstory. She was a character officially introduced in season 2 and became a more important character in season 3, when she started her relationship with Shauna. So what do we know about her character? She’s a high school student, possibly 17 years old as of season 3 (according to the actress), and she was part of the JV team as opposed to the Varsity team. We know she’s a lesbian, and it does play a role in her choices and behaviours, not just because of her sexual preferences but because there is a social context here. It’s the 90s, where homosexuality is still considered taboo, which the show does touch upon. We can assume that, as a gay teen, Melissa was possibly still closeted and may never have had a relationship with another girl before due to the stigma, or possibly not having admitted to herself that she likes girls. Those are speculations, but I’d argue they are very probable possibilities given the time period.

Melissa doesn’t seem to have many close friends outside of Gen, who is someone (if we agree with the actresses playing them) she only befriended after the crash. So it’s possible that before the crash, Melissa was more of a loner who kept to herself. And as a potentially closeted teen, it would make sense that she has a harder time making friends if she’s afraid to be outed and possibly ostracised.

What we’ve seen of her in season 2 is pretty minimal. She mostly only hangs out with Gen; they both keep to themselves, although Gen has other friends (like Mari and Akilah) whom she is seen hanging out with without Melissa. Gen and Melissa’s role in s2 was mostly that of the comedic relief duo, who had funny interactions. We don’t learn much about Melissa as a person, and she’s mostly there to contribute to the group dynamic.

As for her personality, she comes off as someone awkward, somewhat shy, unless she has someone who can back her up. She dared to be more outspoken when she was with Gen, and later when she was with Shauna. But more on that later.

I won’t take too much time describing Shauna since her character is very well established, so I’ll stick to the main points for this analysis. Shauna is someone with a lot of trauma, after losing Jackie and feeling responsible for her death and blaming herself, but she also had a lot of resentment towards Jackie. It’s clear that her feelings for Jackie were complex, a bit of love and hate, and she was never able to process those due to her tragic passing. She can never reconcile with Jackie, talk things through, because she died. And Jackie dying after a violent argument will forever leave Shauna haunted, by what she could have done differently, by the possibility that maybe they could have talked things through. But unfortunately, she will never have this opportunity, and she will remain tormented by that for as long as we have seen her. There is also the death of her baby that added to that trauma, both because it’s a very traumatic event on its own but because the baby was linked to Jackie. It’s because she slept with Jeff and ended up pregnant that they had that argument. I believe that for her, if she could have her baby, it would at least make Jackie’s death not in vain. Losing her baby could have been like losing Jackie again, because now her death served no purpose. I think this is why Shauna, after rescue, married Jeff. She didn’t love him. But Jackie died because she slept with him, so in her mind, this is the only way she has to not make her death in vain and atone for what she did. She’s essentially punishing herself due to her guilt for everything she did in the Wilderness, including her involvement in Jackie’s death.

And as a teen, that amount of trauma led to her behaviors in season 3. She feels alone and unappreciated after they picked Natalie as the leader instead of her. From her perspective, she was more deserving. She thinks she suffered the most, she was the one who did what the others couldn’t, which is to butcher Javi’s corpse so they wouldn’t starve to death. The fact she had to do that to a child after she lost her baby only contributed to her trauma, she had to cover her eyes so much it was distressing for her. So for her, it must have felt like a slap in the face to have Nat become the leader, simply because Lottie decided that it was the will of It (the Wilderness). So Shauna’s frustration at the beginning of season 3 is understandable to an extent, she feels unappreciated, she can’t connect with the others and their newfound devotion to the wilderness. Especially since this faith they build is capitalizing on her personal trauma. They made her dead baby into a mythical figure, Shauna isn’t allowed to grieve in peace; her trauma is constantly shoved into her face. So it’s understandable why she’d isolate herself from the rest of the group; this must be triggering for her. We do see her leave the ceremony as soon as her child is mentioned, and she had to go bury him somewhere else so she could keep a part of him to herself.

Did Melissa love Shauna? (Season 3, episode 1)

So, Shauna had a lot of reasonable anger and frustration at the beginning of season 3, and that led her to be isolated from the others with whom she no longer felt comfortable being with. Not that it excuse her more aggressive behaviors, but I think is understandable why she’d lash out like that given what she went through and how the others acted towards her and her trauma.

As for Melissa had the start of season 3, she does seem to be part of the overall group, she participated into the activities organized by their community and didn’t seem to have much of an issue with it. It meant be because she also started to believe in the Wilderness, or simply because she didn’t want to be excluded. And, it’s not like she had anything else to do, so as well just go along with what others do.

Now, let’s move to their first actual interaction in season 3. Shauna asked for Melissa’s help with the meat. For Shauna, it’s nothing special, Melissa just happened to be the closest person around. But for Melissa, it might mean something more, to have Shauna speak to her and acknowledge her presence.

Then, when Shauna made that very dark comment about Mari, she looked at Melissa, almost as if she was “challenging” her to say something. To tell her what she said was bad. Because that’s what Shauna came to expect from everyone, to be dismissed and viewed in a bad light. But much to her surprise, Melissa didn’t react badly to her comment. On the contrary, she seemingly agreed with Shauna’s distaste for Mari, even attempting a witty remark about how dumb Mari is. This did take Shauna aback, as she was probably not expecting that someone would agree with her. Shauna wasn’t really familiar with Melissa as a person, as she is a JV and a grade or two below her. She made a comment about Melissa, that she was surprised to see she does have a personality.

For Melissa, what was simply a constatation almost felt like a compliment. Shauna noticed her and acknowledged her. She looked flustered at first, then almost proud of herself. To me, it leaves me to believe that at that point, Melissa was already starting to harbour a crush on Shauna. What Shauna told her wasn’t actually nice, since it implies she never bothered to know anything about her until now. But to Melissa, this was as if her crush had finally acknowledged that she exists, and it made her happy. This is the kind of reaction I can only see for someone who did like the other person, and felt like they had finally succeeded at getting noticed by them.

Then came Akilah, trying to gift Shauna a handmade crown for the ceremony, since she was “it’s mother”. Even if, from Akilah’s perspective, what she was doing was kind, it was not how Shauna felt. And with reason. This crown symbolized the loss of her baby and how everyone appropriated her trauma for their personal gain, to make themselves feel better with their Wilderness belief. It wasn’t a gift to her, it was a reminder of what she lost and how even her loss couldn’t belong to her alone.

Melissa noticed Shauna’s discomfort after she slapped the crown to the ground, and Mel made the decision to step on it in front of Shauna. This was the first instance of Melissa doing something somewhat mean to someone (Akilah), by destroying something she put time into making. But why did Melissa do that? I think it was primarily to get Shauna’s attention. She doesn’t have anything against Akilah, and they both seem to be on relatively good terms. So it wasn’t animated by personal animosity towards Akilah. But Melissa saw that Shauna hated that crown and that it made her uncomfortable, so she thought by stepping on it, it would make Shauna acknowledge her even more. She wanted to show her that she was on her side. Shauna had already “praised” her once for saying something mean about Mari, someone Shauna dislikes, so she expected it to work again towards something else Shauna didn’t like.

I'm not sure if Shauna knew why Melissa did that (or cared), but she did look at her as she walked away, so I do think it left a certain impression on Shauna. With everyone being invasive regarding her baby, it might have felt good to see Melissa step on that crown. She might not have realized Melissa did it for her, I don't think Shauna could conceive that someone would take her side, but I still think it could have left a relatively good impression of Melissa on Shauna. Or at least, some curiosity. Something that could have helped later on the line with their relationship.

I’d say by that moment alone, it’s clear to me that by that point, Melissa already had a crush on Shauna. I can’t see why she would go out of her way to try find something witty to say to impress Shauna and then destroy the crown Shauna hated. Those are not actions that could have benefited Melissa personally; they were in response to what Shauna was saying or doing. This was the first time Shauna gave her attention, and Melissa was desperate to keep it going. Her crush had acknowledged her and nothing else mattered to her at that moment.

Season 2 retrospective

Now, let’s take a break from season 3 and ask the question: When did Melissa start to have feelings for Shauna? Let’s put aside that their romance was something that wasn’t planned ahead, since the show could retroactively decide Melissa loved Shauna way before season 3. So let’s only focus on what we can observe. Ever since season 3 began, a lot of people have noticed that Melissa was often standing close to Shauna during season 2. Speculation started that it might have been foreshadowing for their relationship in season 3, but as I said before, it wasn’t planned ahead. But, given they could retroactively say that Melissa did love Shauna in s2, it’s still fair to bring up those. In a recent interview with Jenna Burgess, she was asked about that, and we now finally have our answer as to why Melissa and Shauna were often seen together in season 2. The main reason was simply because Jenna chose to stand close to Shauna to ensure she’d get screentime. It makes sense that being close to the main character would increase her chances of being seen on screen. So it wasn’t a coincidence, but it wasn’t foreshadowing either. It was still an intentional choice by Jenna. But, she also gave another reason why she chose Shauna rather than another main character. She felt like Melissa was drawn to Shauna, because she could relate to her feeling of loneliness. This echoes my interpretation that Melissa was more of a loner. She does have Gen as a friend in season 2, but that’s it. Gen had other friends, and that could make Melissa feel lonely whenever they weren’t together. And that led her to feel a gravitational pull towards Shauna because they’re both lonely.

I do think Melissa’s feelings for Shauna started as sympathy at first. She felt bad for Shauna for what she went through, and it started her interest in her that later developed into having a crush on her. I think she was starting to have a certain interest in Shauna in s2, even if it wasn’t necessarily romantic yet. And maybe even attraction at some point. Jenna did say that there is a brutal side to Shauna that Melissa is very attracted to, so it’s possible that when Shauna became more aggressive (for example, when she beat up Lottie) that it sparked something in Melissa, she was already drawn to her but now she saw another side of Shauna, a side she found disturbingly alluring. That could explain why she said that line to Shauna, “now you give a shit about Lottie?”.

Maybe part of Melissa was still struggling to admit to herself that she felt that way towards Shauna when she beat up Lottie. She was confused as to why Shauna now cared about Lottie, and that confusion could have upset her and led her to say that line. The girl she thought she could relate to ended up being violent, and part of Melissa enjoyed that violence, and it scared her. Not of Shauna, but of herself. And there was perhaps a need to distance herself from Shauna in that moment. Gen had already expressed annoyance at Shauna, so Melissa felt more comfortable doing so, too. There’s also the fact that they were all worried about Lottie, so crush or not, it’s fair for Melissa to be upset at Shauna for nearly killing Lottie. We do see that despite that, Melissa is still seen close to Shauna later on, so it did not put an end to her interest in her.

But hey, that’s just my personal interpretation based on what we know of her in s3. This was probably not the intent in s2, and I think this was mostly just a throwaway line to further the plot more than something meant to inform us on Melissa as a character. Here's an interesting thread on Twitter about all the moments where Melissa is shown close to Shauna or reacting to her.

So, everything I said regarding season 2 and how Melissa could have already have feelings for Shauna is just speculation; nothing is confirmed here. Some people would rather headcanon that she already had a crush on Shauna before the crash. And you know what? That’s also a possibility. But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter when exactly Melissa started to have feelings for Shauna. We may never know. But what we do know is that she does have feelings for Shauna in s3. Even if she doesn’t have feelings for her in s2 or before, it doesn’t fundamentally affect their relationship in s3 and how I’ll be analyzing them. It just adds a bit of flavour to them. Let’s not forget that there was a timeskip between s2 and s3. Season 3 started at the summer solstice, so we skipped all of spring. That’s at least a three-month time skip. Plenty of time for Melissa to develop a genuine crush on Shauna if she didn’t have one already. But then, I’ll have to ask this question: how?

How did Melissa fall in love with Shauna? (s2 and s3 timeskip)

I believe we do have enough information in the text itself to make a reasonable assumption. We know Gen became the new hunter after Travis and was being trained by Nat. It would certainly take a lot of time for Nat to train Gen into becoming the competent hunter we see she become at the start of s3. Which means, Gen spending less time with Melissa. We know Gen is Melissa’s closest friend, which must have left her to feel pretty lonely whenever Gen left to go train with Nat or simply go hunt. That could explain two things I mentioned earlier. Melissa is participating more in the group, because she is herself starting to feel isolated so more likely to cling to whatever she can to not feel alone. At the start of s3 she does seem to get along with some of the other girls, notably Britt and Robin, so she does have people she could consider friends. But Gen still remains her closest friend and she probably misses her, even if they do share a hut there are still a lot of moments they aren’t together, contrasting with their time together in season 2 where they were almost always together.

I think this only strengthened what Melissa could have already felt towards Shauna, feeling drawn to her because they both felt lonely. And if Shauna was lonely in season 2, now she’s flat-out alone and isolated from the others, something Melissa can probably empathize with. I could see that during that timeskip, when she was alone, Melissa spent a lot of time observing Shauna, learning about her through a safe distance, and it developed into a feeling of limerence (that’s a word Jenna used to describe Melissa’s feelings towards Shauna in this article if you are interested). It’s a state of involuntary obsession with another person and an intense longing for someone, even if they don’t reciprocate. It’s not necessarily a feeling of love or lust, but it can feel like that and can develop into those. I think Melissa, in her feeling of loneliness, latched onto what she was feeling towards Shauna. This developed into a crush, even if it was fueled by this feeling of limerence more than simple love or lust.

The beginning of shaunahat (season 3, episode 2)

Now, let’s go back to what is actually happening in season 3. Their second actual interaction is when Melissa followed Shauna to the grave of her baby. This behaviour is starting to feel like stalking, she isn’t just observing Shauna from afar, she is following her around without her knowing. As mentioned earlier, limerance is obsessive by nature, she wanted to know more about Shauna, so she followed her and discovered something. The grave of her child. This was something private to Shauna that she didn’t want the other girls to know. Part of Melissa does feel sympathy for Shauna for what she went through, but I think she doesn’t fully grasp why Shauna wanted a place just for herself. So her decision to put flowers on the grave did come from a good intention; that’s what people usually do to pay respect to the dead. I don’t think Melissa really thinks too deeply about her actions here, in her mind, she was being kind to someone she likes.

But, from what I gathered from how Jenna described this action, yes it came from empathy, but part of Melissa was also curious to see how Shauna would react, so she hid instead of just leaving. She likes to observe Shauna, so seeing her reaction isn’t something she would have wanted to miss. She probably didn’t expect that Shauna would react this negatively, because I don’t think she realized how much Shauna was terrified of someone finding out where she buried her child. She might have assumed Shauna would be relieved to see that someone cared for her and her loss and was looking for a more positive reaction. This shows that at this point, Melissa’s understanding of Shauna is very shallow and this is more about how she feels about Shauna rather than how Shauna is feeling. It’s not ill-intentioned, but it’s very naive of her and shows a certain immaturity when it comes to romance.

Melissa got caught. She could have attempted to run but she didn’t think she was in any real danger. As I said, her understanding of Shauna is very shallow and she failed to see how panicked Shauna was to see her there. And Shauna at this point barely knows anything about Melissa, from all she knows, she’s part of the cult that keeps worshipping her dead baby. She’s right to be on edge and worried. She does feel threatened and attacked in a place where she’s vulnerable, where she just wants to be able to grieve her child in peace. So Melissa being there is akin to an invasion and perhaps even aggression to her, and Shauna feels right to go on the offensive.

Melissa definitely noticed how Shauna was starting to get more and more aggressive. She might not have understood exactly why, but she did try to defuse the situation. But as the awkward girl she is (and with “no game”, per Jenna’s words) she unintentionally made things worse. It did seem for a moment that Shauna might calm down when Melissa tried to assure her she wasn’t there for her baby, and started expressing how much sympathy she had for her and then showing her in compliments. All of those were desperate attempts to get on Shauna’s good side after upsetting her. Then Melissa started feeling a bit too bold when she thought she had managed to calm down Shauna and tried to express how she felt about Shauna in a clumsy way, telling her she “wasn’t scared of her”. For Melissa, this was meant as a compliment, a way for her to show Shauna she liked her and wanted to be around her, unlike the others. She was trying to show Shauna she wasn’t like them and she could trust her.

But of course, that’s not how Shauna interpreted it. She might have seemed to be calming down, she wasn’t. She was a ticking bomb, still very much on edge by having someone invading her personal space, someone getting involved yet again in her private trauma. I’m not sure if she was fully registering what Melissa was telling her or if she was too panicked to fully hear her. But then, when she heard Melissa say she wasn’t scared of her, this didn’t come off as a compliment to her. It was an insult. In her mind, Melissa was provoking her. Because that’s what she’s used to, to people insulting and provoking her, and disrespecting her feelings. And as the ticking bomb she was, she exploded at that moment. Melissa had given her a reason, in her mind, to attack. She was a menace that needed to be dealt with. So she threatened her at knife point to never speak of this, because to Shauna, this was what it was all about. Her child, her right to have a place just for herself. She did not care about anything else Melissa had to say. All she could see was that she was endangering the only remaining piece of her baby that she could claim for herself. And for that, Shauna was willing to threaten to kill Melissa to keep it a secret.

Then, the infamous kiss happened. Why did Melissa kiss Shauna? Two reasons were given by the actress. The main one being, she had a crush on Shauna. If Shauna was going to kill her, this was her only chance to express her feelings for her. She had nothing to lose so why not at least try? The other reason was self-preservation. In that moment, Melissa was terrified of dying. Shen wasn’t thinking clearly. She was desperate to survive, so she did something impulsive in the hope it could save her. She kissed Shauna. This was a split-second decision made by someone who was desperate, born both from her crush on Shauna and the fear of dying. If you are about to get killed, might as well do what you weren’t able to do before. It might be your last chance. Thankfully for Melissa, it worked. She did not get killed by Shauna.

Now, let’s switch to Shauna’s perspective. She’s angry, panicked, holding a knife to some girl’s throat, someone she barely knows. She’s not aware that Melissa has been harbouring those feelings for her. She is nothing more than a nuisance to her at that time. Until she suddenly launched to kiss her. This is probably the last thing Shauna expected would happen. We saw that she was shocked and confused, and it did diffused her anger.

Why did she kiss Melissa back? Well, for many reasons. If I go by Jenna’s words, Shauna was so broken at that time that she just went “huh, what the hell, sure”. If I go by Sophie’s words, after being kissed, Shauna realized that she was “kind of into it”. Both can be true. Shauna was at her lowest. She felt isolated and unappreciated by everyone, but suddenly there was this random girl who kissed her? Showed interest in her? Despite how she behaves, Shauna does feel lonely, she misses Jackie, and she misses having someone with her. And given it’s obvious Shauna had feelings for Jackie that went beyond friendship, something she will never have the chance to explore or even fully accept, having a girl make a move on her awakened something in her. This part of her she never fully acknowledged, her attraction to girls. It’s unclear what Shauna’s exact sexuality is, but we can assume she is indeed queer. And that kiss from Melissa made her feel something, something she liked, and she wanted to feel more of it. So she kissed her back.

If the kiss for Melissa was a way to express her feelings for Shauna, it wasn’t the same for Shauna. At that point, Shauna couldn’t care less about Melissa. She is merely a vessel for her own feelings. The kiss wasn’t romantic to her, it was feral, hungry, and dominating. We can see the contract in how they hold each other. Melissa has her hands on Shauna’s waist, a more loving gesture, and she’s fully leaning into the kiss. Meanwhile, Shauna kept the knife to her throat, establishing dominance and control in the situation. She did not care what Melissa was thinking, she cared about what she wanted, and at that moment she was craving the feeling this kiss was giving her. She didn’t let go of the knife because she needed to stay in control and have the power. After feeling so exposed and in a vulnerable state when Melissa found the grave, this was her way to reclaim control of the situation by dominating her in the kiss while craving something she wanted at that moment.

As we can see, this kiss was something completely unexpected for both of them. I know some people think Melissa specifically went after Shauna to gain power and protection, but that’s inconsistent with what we have seen so far. She couldn’t have predicted how Shauna would react to her. That and as mentioned before, Shauna is very isolated and considered unstable by the others; she’s not the best pick if you are after power and protection. If anything, Melissa put herself in more danger by pursuing Shauna. She had no reason to even pursue power and protection at that point. They were relatively safe; her best friend Gen was the new hunter, working directly under their leader Nat, and Melissa seemed to get along with most of the group at that point. She was in a comfy situation where there was no reason for her to go after Shauna- unless she actually had feelings for her.

That brings me to my next point. Did Melissa actually love Shauna? It’s a loaded question that even Jenna struggled to answer. It’s undeniable that Melissa, at the very least, had a crush on Shauna and strong feelings for her that she would call love. According to Jenna, in Melissa’s mind, she and Shauna were the love story of her life. Now, you might bring up the fact that adult Melissa claimed that she never loved Shauna, and to that I would reply “why are you believing anything this woman is saying?”. I’d rather keep the 25 years later stuff for later, but I’ll just clarify for this section. It’s possible adult Melissa is either lying or is in denial. After all, 25 years have passed and people’s perception can change. When asked about this, Jenna had something interesting to say. That what you believe to be love as a 17 years old might differ from a 42 years old. After 25 years, Melissa can have reflected on that and decided, as a grown woman, that it wasn’t love. But it doesn’t change the fact that currently, for the teen Melissa, what she feels is love and it’s what informs her actions throughout the teen timeline. She wasn’t using Shauna, her primary goal wasn’t to get power or safety for herself, it was to get with Shauna. At least, for now it’s her main goal. More on that later.

After the kiss (season 3, episode 3)

Let’s skip after the kiss. The next time we see Shauna and Melissa together is when Melissa followed Shauna around and found her writing in her journal, which Shauna called “stalking”. The way both of them acted is interesting. Shauna at first showed a lack of interest, barely looking at Melissa and still writing in her diary. The kiss hasn’t affected her the same way it did Melissa. For Shauna, it might have been a one-time thing, something she can brush off because she doesn’t actually care about Melissa at that time. I’d say there’s a high chance if Melissa didn’t approach her again, Shauna would have moved on. Shauna has too much on her mind to put too much thought into this.

But for Melissa, the kiss meant a lot. It felt like perhaps there was a chance Shauna could reciprocate her feelings, so she approached her as such. She was nervous, shy, awkward, clearly came with a prepared speech in mind, she might have rehearsed in her head a few times. But when Shauna spoke first, it threw off Melissa, who had something she had planned to say. Instead of replying to what Shauna accused her of (stalking), Melissa still went with what she originally planned to say, coming off as very nervous and awkward. Her outfit is also worth noting. Other than in winter, where characters would just wear as many layers as possible to keep themselves warm, Melissa is never seen wearing a skirt in season 3. This is the first time she has worn one. She also took the time to braid her hair. It was as if she were dressing up to “impress” Shauna. Trying to look her best to go see her crush. Because to her, the kiss was romantic, and she had hope that there could be something between them now. She was imagining they could just have a talk about what happened and maybe start a relationship.

She was not expecting to be met with complete indifference. Melissa was clearly shocked and upset by Shauna seemingly not caring. And probably hurt too. Perhaps it wasn’t the first time she kissed a girl only to be ignored after, and have the other girl act as if it never happened, due to the 90s homophobia. So Melissa turned around, probably feeling dumb to have hoped in the first place… but then Shauna called her and told her she could stay- if she wanted.

Why the change of heart from Shauna? I think if Melissa never approached her again, Shauna might have moved on, yes. But since Melissa did come back and let it be known she was still interested, part of Shauna wanted to know why. Shauna is at a point where she can’t fathom someone wanting to be with her. She feels like everyone turns their back on her, but then there’s this girl who’s relatively unknown to her, who is showing interest in her. I don’t think Shauna had an interest in Melissa, but she had an interest in why Melissa was interested in her. It was curiosity at best. So she gave Melissa a choice, if she wanted to stay, instead of making the decision herself. And Melissa did stay.

Of course, Melissa would want to stay. Her crush allowed her to be near her. To her, it was an opportunity, and she could still hope Shauna would reciprocate her interest. But she just sat down, silent, probably too shy and nervous to actually say something. This led Shauna to ask her if she’s going to turn out to be “fucking boring”. Melissa probably didn’t know what to reply to that, so instead she just smiled awkwardly, then her gaze on Shauna looked loving. She truly was heartstruck by her. And for the rare time this season, Shauna smiled (well, smirked). She looked up and down Melissa like it was the first time she actually took the time to appraise her. First she noticed Melissa did have a personality, and now she noticed what she looked like. Judging by her expression, Shauna did like what she saw. It might not have been an actual attraction at that point, but Melissa’s appearance was deemed okay for Shauna at that moment.

There are a few tidbits in the rest of this episode that are interesting. One of them is technically a deleted scene. After Mari had come back and revealed Ben was still out there, Shauna asks, “Anyone that wants to come with me?” which, according to Jenna, Melissa raised her hand and said “Me!” while pushing through the others. It’s a shame it got cut because not only does it sound funny, it shows how eager Melissa was to get on Shauna’s good side. Though that might be why it was cut, to leave this development for episode 4. Either way, at the end of the episode, when they found Van, Akilah and Shauna unconscious because of the gas, Melissa was standing next to Shauna and looked very concerned for her. It’s not really visible in the episode itself, but you can see it in some of the stills. If anything, that furthered my point that she does care for Shauna.

The Courtship (season 3, episode 4)

Alright, episode 4 is where Melissa’s infatuation with Shauna starts to show signs of being a bit more insidious. This isn’t just a simple crush anymore, Melissa actually has hope she can be with Shauna at this point. Shauna hasn’t fully reciprocated yet, but didn’t push away Melissa. She even told her she hopes she won’t turn out to be boring, something I’m sure Melissa took to heart. Shauna gave her a challenge, a condition for her if she wants to be worthy of her. It enboldened her and led her to more extreme actions. And this whole episode, especially the trial, was Melissa trying to impress Shauna, to show her she won’t be boring, that she can count on her and that she has her back. She wants Shauna to like her and view her as useful, as someone she needs and is worthy to be by her side. And that’s not just how I feel about that, that’s also what Jenna said. That the trial was Melissa’s “stage” and she was putting on a performance to impress Shauna. The crazy eyes she was giving were on purpose. Essentially, she’s trying to show her that she can match her freak.

This episode is when Melissa started to take more questionable actions on behalf of Shauna. I don’t think she knew for sure that Ben burned down the cabin, but she did not care. What mattered to her was that Shauna wanted him to be guilty, and she was going to do anything she could to ensure that, for Shauna. Her infatuation with Shauna started to negatively affect others, it came at the detriment of the people around her. First there is Gen, who is Melissa’s closest friend, who Melissa pressured into voting guilty. Gen clearly was not comfortable with that and felt bad for doing so. But she was being pressured by both Melissa and Shauna. Mel put her in a tough position where she had to choose between standing up with Nat, whom she respects, or doing what Melissa wanted. It’s not the worst thing someone can do, but it’s still bad to pressure someone who is supposed to be your friend and who is clearly uncomfortable to do something like that.

It shows Melissa is willing to use her own friends to further her goal, which is to be with Shauna. Then the other person who was hurt by Melissa’s desire to be with Shauna was Ben, who ended up being voted guilty, even though he was most likely innocent. She contributed to getting a man the death sentence because she was in love with Shauna. This is how sinister her infatuation with Shauna had become. It wasn’t just an innocent crush anymore, but something that could be hurtful to others. Not that I think Melissa was viewing it that way or was intentionally being hurtful, in her mind, all she was doing was supporting the girl she loves and maybe getting her to like her back. It’s a lack of concern for how her actions affect others because she’s too focused on one thing: Shauna.

Another interesting detail in that episode is how much Melissa is shown looking at Shauna during the trial. She looked very on edge when Shauna was questioned by Misty and Taissa. But the more interesting detail is when Ben is doing his speech. Most of them, including Shauna, are listening to him, some of them feeling moved by what he is saying. Melissa is not focusing on Ben, she is looking at Shauna. As I said earlier, Melissa's priority is Shauna, and everything else, including Ben, is secondary to her at the moment. I think she was trying to see how Ben's speech was affecting Shauna, to decide how she should feel about it, too. As Jenna said, this was a performance for her to impress Shauna. And she did a fantastic job portraying how everything she was doing was about Shauna and how this was her main focus.

As for Shauna, after intimidating the jury into voting guilty, she got a taste of what she views as power. And I think so did Melissa. I said earlier Melissa didn’t seek power from Shauna, but I do believe after this episode, she got a taste of power, or rather the power she saw in Shauna. This added to her attraction to her. This gave her a rush to see what she helped Shauna accomplish. This got so much into her head that she dared to express that to Shauna, whom she suspects desires power, with such confidence she’s usually lacking around her. And I think at this moment, Shauna did start to see something in Melissa. Someone who perhaps can actually understand what she desires, and can support her. And that led to this strange hand-holding they did, Shauna giving Melissa a little treat for her help, something to keep her loyal to her. Kind of like giving a treat to a dog after they were good. But I don’t think Shauna was ready yet to go further; this was just a little something to keep Melissa interested in her, but her heart wasn’t there yet. And that’s something we see in the next episode.

Speaking of heart, I want you to pay attention to the feather on Melissa's shirt. Jenna was asked about that on Instagram, and she said Melissa sewed it there herself on her shirt for "formality". It's on her left side, where her heart is. Not that it's important for this episode itself, but this will be once I reach episode 7. So keep that detail in mind.

When the Ship sailed (season 3, episode 5)

Then comes episode 5, where Melissa is still supporting whatever Shauna is proposing. Burning Ben alive? Sure, why not, whatever you want, babe. Except Shauna feels a bit put off by how enthusiastic Melissa is to go along with what she wants. Maybe part of her starts to feel a little bit suspicious. It’s echoed when they have a discussion later. Shauna is in disbelief that Melissa could like her. I think she doesn’t believe anyone could like the person she has become. Despite how aggressive Shauna has become by that point, she is still self-aware that her actions are not making her particularly likable, and she’s dealing with a lot of self-loathing. Especially due to her guilt regarding what happened to Jackie.

We can see that the trial and the hand-holding gave more confidence to Melissa. It kept her going now that she has more hope for a relationship. We don’t know exactly when she started to work on the sheath, but this was definitely a well-thought-out gift. Something she knew could be useful for Shauna. Something she put a lot of time and care into making. She even put the initial “S” on it and wrapped it up to make it look pretty.

Not going to lie, I initially did not recognize that it was a sheath, so I thought Melissa was giving Shauna some wilderness bouquet. But my point is, this was a nice, personalized gift for someone she loves. And in itself, it was a cute and thoughtful gesture. Now, we could talk about the symbolism of it. Melissa is making a sheath for the knife that Shauna nearly killed her with. A subtle way to show how she’s enabling her violent side. But also, how Melissa believes she can contain said violent side. It’s as if she believes she can be the sheath to Shauna’s knife, that just like those two items, they “fit” together. There’s also an intimate connotation regarding a sheath and (usually) a sword, replaced here by a knife. That’s all to say, it is both a genuine gift but also carries a darker meaning regarding their relationship.

Let’s go back to the scene itself. Melissa once again followed Shauna and tried to engage in a conversation with her. Shauna isn’t in the mood for company and signals to Melissa that she wants to be left alone. Unlike last time, Mel doesn’t take it too personally as she has come to have a better understanding of Shauna and knows she isn’t being rejected. She still wants to give her the gift she made for her and started to walk away. When Shauna saw the gift, she was shocked. She couldn’t believe someone who put time and effort into making her something. She even asked why Melissa even liked her. She doesn’t even like herself so why would someone else do? I do think she’s still suspicious of Melissa’s intention, given Shauna’s paranoid nature and inability to think she’s worthy of being loved.

At this point, Melissa had learned more about Shauna and how to interact with her. She knows she shouldn’t just say what she thinks Shauna needs to hear, but what she wants to hear. This is the part that caused some issues among certain people, when Melissa said that Jackie “treated Shauna like shit”. Obviously, the truth is far more nuanced than that. We know as viewers that Jackie did care for Shauna. But does Melissa know? She wasn’t privy to the personal moments between Jackie and Shauna or their individual thoughts. All she knows of them is what she could observe. She most likely based her opinion of how Jackie and Jeff treated Shauna on their last argument, because that’s what would have impacted her the most. Also, Melissa’s goal is to date Shauna, so of course she’s going to badmouth these two. It’s nothing personal against them, she probably didn’t really know them. But she knows that’s what Shauna wants to hear. She wants to believe she was being victimized, so she feels less guilty about this. Melissa is validating Shauna’s feelings, regardless if they are right or wrong. In a way, it was manipulative of Melissa to do that. Then she complimented Shauna’s “bad parts”, because she knows it’s probably something Shauna is complexed about. But Melissa wants her to know she loves those parts of her, that she’s not afraid of her, that she embraces every part of her. Despite the manipulation, she does want Shauna to know she does like her. And that gift was her way to show her love for her. This does seem to have an effect on Shauna as she even thanks Melissa for the gift, even smiling at her, and the latter promptly leaves to give Shauna the space she needed.

I’d like to comment on Melissa’s outfit. Other than the fact I personally find it atrocious, Melissa’s choice to wear a vest is interesting. It’s not a practical choice, it’s summer after all, and she’s clearly not cold given she only wears a t-shirt and shorts. People have pointed out that wearing that vest might have been a way to emulate Jackie’s fashion style, so it could have been part of Melissa’s strategy to impress Shauna. Just like I think she dressed to impress Shauna in episode 3, I think she might have done so too here. And hey, I guess it worked in the end.

Fast forward to the end of the episode, where things took a dark turn. Shauna has been charged with cutting Ben’s Achilles to ensure he can’t escape. Now, a lot of people misunderstood that scene as something Shauna decided to do on her own. It wasn’t. This was a group decision; Shauna was merely assigned that task. Shauna decided to bring Melissa with her. As I said earlier, Shauna was still suspicious of her, and we know Shauna doesn’t really trust people anymore. So she decided to use this as an opportunity to test Melissa’s devotion to her. Melissa may say she likes her, that she accepts her “bad parts”, she may give her gifts, but can she truly be trusted? To what extent is she willing to go for Shauna? That’s what she decided to test by making Melissa do the cutting. At first Melissa refused, which is a reasonable reaction. Most people would feel aversion at the idea of hurting someone else. But then Shauna was now the one being manipulative, using Melissa’s own words against her, telling her she also needs to embrace her “bad parts”. Then, desperate for Shauna’s approval, Melissa did as she was told with some hesitation. I don’t think she enjoyed hurting Ben in itself, but she did enjoy seeing that it pleased Shauna.

On Shauna’s side, she had her answer. She could, to a certain degree, trust Melissa. She had proven her loyalty to her. Shauna had found a companion who could actually stand by her side and accept her for who she was now, including her bad parts. Shauna decided that Melissa had passed her test and made their relationship official to everyone by holding her bloody hand, symbolizing how she shares the blame with her for what they did to Ben. Melissa was willing to dirty her hands for her, so Shauna showed she wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty either. They were now linked by the blood they spilled together and showed it to everyone. Then Shauna dragged Melissa to her hut, officially accepting her as her partner for everyone to see, or even publicly “claiming” her. Melissa seemed surprised at first. Not only did she look like she was somewhat dissociating after cutting Ben, as the thrill was starting to drop and she was realizing what she had done, but then Shauna publicly held her hand, the hand that was covered in blood. She had finally gotten what she wanted, at a bloody price. It was a lot for her to handle and process.

Then, before entering Shauna’s hut, we see her turn around, but it’s unclear exactly what that meant. It seemed like she might have been looking at Van or Gen specifically, given their position in that scene, or just the group as a whole. I personally think she wanted them to know she was now dating Shauna. Not necessarily to be smug or brag about it, but because this was something she had been hoping for a while now, and she finally succeeded. She was proud of herself and wanted people to see what she had accomplished. She needed for it to feel real and to be acknowledged by the others. As for what happened in the hut after that… the show leaves it to our imagination (and the fanfic writers, bless them).

Shauna and Melissa’s relationship so far (analysis intermission)

Alright, I’m halfway through the season now, and since we reached the point where they are officially dating, it’s time to discuss why they are together. As in, what they see in each other and what they gain from that relationship.

Let’s start with Melissa. This one might be easier since we know she loves Shauna, so that’s the main reason why she wants to be in a relationship with her. I mentioned earlier that she was drawn to her due to relating to her loneliness, but she was also attracted to her brutal sides, to her “bad parts”. But a lot of people wondered why Melissa would want to be in a relationship with someone she knows is violent and could be dangerous to her, going as far as to blame her when Shauna inevitably does abuse her. More on that later, since this will be touched upon once I’m talking about episode 9. For now, let’s focus on why Melissa wants to stay in that relationship.

At the beginning of this analysis, I talked about Melissa as a character and this is when this is going to be relevant. She’s a gay teenager in the 90s who most likely never had the chance to have an actual relationship with another girl. They are currently stuck in a situation where they don’t know if they will survive. They don’t have the luxury to think about the future, or even hope to have a future beyond the wilderness. So for someone like Melissa, who ended up kissing Shauna by pure chance and then starting a relationship with her, this is probably not something she’d want to let go of. From her perspective, someone like Shauna would normally be considered “out of league” if it wasn’t for their current situation. So of course Melissa is going to grab that opportunity with both hands. She wants to experience being in a relationship with a girl she loves at least once in her life, because she doesn’t know if she will ever get the chance again. Both because she doesn’t know if she will survive the wilderness, but because even if she does and gets rescued, this is the 90s. Society isn’t particularly accepting of gay people. The series itself took the time to show that the fear of homophobia was strong enough that Taissa didn’t want to be rescued. So it’s a fair assumption that part of Melissa knows that if they do get rescued, she won’t have the same freedom anymore to date a girl. Dating Shauna might feel like her only chance to experience that in her life, so she doesn’t want to let go of this opportunity. I can also draw a parallel to Jackie in season 1 not wanting to die a virgin so she decided to have sex with Travis. Similarly, Melissa wants to experience a relationship, she wants to experience love, sex, all of it, in case she might never have the chance to do so again. Also, what else is there to do in the wilderness? Might as well enjoy the present moment.

We could add that at this point, she probably does seek a bit of power and protection from Shauna, now that she is finally in her good graces. "People are willing to do messed up things just to see another day" as she said herself. She wants to survive. She feels safer being on Shauna’s side now that she’s her girlfriend. So I’d say, the reason why Melissa stayed with Shauna for so long is a mixture of genuine love and attraction for her, the fear she might never get the chance to experience a relationship again, and for protection.

As for Shauna, why is she with Melissa? First, I need to dismantle two misconceptions. Unlike popular belief, Melissa is not a replacement for Jackie. No one can replace Jackie in Shauna’s eyes. But make no mistake, this is still very much about Jackie. Shauna/Melissa is meant to be a reversal of Jackie/Shauna. Melissa isn’t replacing Jackie because Shauna is. Or at least, Shauna is emulating this twisted version of Jackie she made in her mind. Which means Melissa is actually replacing Shauna- or rather, the person Shauna used to be when Jackie was still alive. This is something Sophie Nélisse mentioned, that Shauna can see her past self in Melissa. Shauna wants to be the Jackie for once, and have her own Shauna who follows her around and who she feels she can control, because that’s how she felt with Jackie. Her relationship with Melissa is yet another way to cope with her complex feelings regarding Jackie, the love and hate she feels towards her, her unadmitted attraction to her, her unassumed queerness as a whole.

The second misconception is that Shauna doesn’t like Melissa. I think she does and we are shown in the series that she does. Of course, what she feels towards Melissa will never compare to what she felt for Jackie. I don’t think Shauna can love anyone more than she loved Jackie. But, it doesn’t mean she didn’t have some feelings towards Melissa. Maybe not genuine romantic love, but at least a certain fondness for her, and did like having her by her side. If Shauna didn’t like Melissa, she wouldn’t probably not tolerate her presence the way she does. She wouldn’t have threatened Mari to take care of her after she got hurt. She wouldn’t have tried to reconcile with Melissa after she was upset over the arrow incident and she wouldn’t have been this mad when Melissa tried to leave her later. In her own ways, Shauna showed that she did like and care about Melissa. Accepting that doesn’t remove the love she has for Jackie, it doesn’t take anything away from Jackie and Shauna’s relationship. If anything, it strengthens it.

Shauna likes Melissa for what she brings to her. She allows her to be in a relationship where she is the one in control, she makes Shauna feel powerful. She loves having someone who is beneath her and whom she has power over. Melissa also validates her feelings, help her cope with the guilt she feels over Jackie’s death. Also, as much as Shauna isolated herself from the rest of the group, it doesn’t mean she likes to be alone. She does miss Jackie. Melissa might not be a replacement for Jackie specifically, her presence still fills a void in Shauna. She has someone to share a bed with again, someone who can bring her some form of comfort, and satisfy a need for intimacy. And same for Melissa, what else is there to do when you are stuck in the wilderness? Melissa has always proven her devotion to her, so she might as well take what she’s being offered. She has nothing to lose and all to gain from someone who is this giving towards her. And all of this is why she’s with Melissa. For the power, the comfort, the gratification it brings her. But part of her did come to like and care for Melissa beyond that, and I’ll touch upon that later.

The Calm before the Storm (season 3, episodes 6 and 7)

Alright, let’s move to episode 6. It has been months now that Shauna and Melissa have been dating. And judging by how casually Melissa can hug Shauna from behind and Shauna accepting this gesture of affection (in public, no less), it’s safe to assume they did have a relatively peaceful relationship so far. Melissa used to be so careful whenever she interacted with Shauna before, so for her to be able to do that so casually means it has become something she’s used to do with Shauna. They are close enough for PDA. It’s unclear if Shauna likes that, but she at least tolerates it. If she hated it, she wouldn’t allow Melissa to do that.

Interesting point to note, Taissa noticed that Shauna seemed “better” since she’s dating Melissa. Of course, Shauna isn’t actually “better” on a deeper level, but Melissa’s presence at the very least helps, even if it’s just making Shauna less aggressive in general. Enough for Taissa to consider that Shauna seems “better”. And Melissa does seem satisfied with that relationship, maybe even a bit proud. Not much is shown of them for the rest of the episode, but Melissa is quick to turn against Nat after she kills Ben, possibly because she knows this is what Shauna wants, showing that she’s still acting like her loyal lapdog. Nat being shunned by the group benefits her as it would allow Shauna to take over. Ultimately, it was Lottie who crowned Shauna their new queen, but it was something Melissa was looking forward to. She is seen later during the feast with Shauna, clearly enjoying the new position her girlfriend got.

Then we move to episode 7, when the group is discovered by some outsiders. After Lottie kills one of them, they have to chase the other two. If you pay attention, Melissa is actually one of those who reacted the fastest. She was all the way in the back and sprinted to go catch them (watch this clip to see what I mean). I think it’s possible she was this eager to catch them because she wanted to impress Shauna. She felt a bit too confident, emboldened by her relationship with Shauna. Her rushing the fastest might be why Kodiak decided to shoot her specifically. As Jenna said, she “simped too much to the sun”. So it would make sense that her infatuation with Shauna could have led to her getting injured. Either way, after being shot, Melissa’s first reaction is to call for Shauna, asking her not to leave her. A normal request one would make if they are injured and in pain, to ask for their significant other to stay with them. It might have been unreasonable for Melissa to expect Shauna to stay, but it’s not unrealistic for her to ask that. She was hurt, in pain and scared for her life.

Shauna ultimately didn’t stay, but it doesn’t mean she didn’t care or wasn’t worried for Melissa. She did threaten to kill Mari if she let Melissa die, which does show she did care. But the way Shauna shows she cares is with violence, because she’s the type who resorts to violence to get what she wants. She was also willing to kill Hannah, not only because she was a potential witness, but because of what Kodi did to Melissa. Once again, showing she cares with violence. The only reason she spared Hannah is because she promised medical supplies, showing once again that Shauna did care enough about Melissa to value having those supplies. In Shauna’s head, what she did was right. She made sure someone would take care of Melissa, she chased after the people who hurt her girlfriend, and she managed to bring one of them back as well as medical supplies.

But from Melissa’s perspective, Shauna had abandoned her when she needed her the most. Melissa probably rarely ever asks anything from Shauna other than being her girlfriend. This is a relationship where Melissa is the one who gives the most. And she was fine with that, until the moment she actually needed something from Shauna. By leaving, Shauna showed her that when she actually does need something from her, she won’t get it. Melissa spent the entire night in pain, with an arrow stuck in her shoulder, scared that she might die. She wanted her girlfriend by her side at that moment, and she couldn’t get Shauna to even do that for her. The look she gave Shauna when she came back speaks for itself. For the first time, Melissa couldn’t overlook the red flags. She realized Shauna’s “bad parts” we bad for her too. This incident was the first push to break her rose-tinted glasses. She realized Shauna wouldn’t be there for her when she actually needed it, that she can’t protect her from harm, and she started to doubt Shauna even liked her.

I love how Jenna compared this to the myth of Cupid's two arrows, where one arrow can make you fall in love, while the other makes you fall out of love. Interestingly, Melissa got shot on the right side, the opposite of where her heart is. And in episode 4, she wore a feather on the left side of her shirt (yeah, that's why I told you to remember that detail). Not only could it have been a foreshadowing of her getting shot, but represents one of the arrows. Melissa, in that episode, was desperately trying to impress Shauna, she was still madly in love with her. And she wore that feather on her left side, where her heart is, symbolizing how she was falling more in love with Shauna after the trial. And she is the one who sewed that feather there, symbolizing she chose to pursue her love for Shauna. Then, the actual arrow she got shot with in her right side symbolizes Melissa "falling out" of love, or rather, realizing this love wasn't good for her.

The beginning of the End (season 3, episode 8)

We continue to see the resentment Melissa feels towards Shauna now in episode 8. She openly scoffs at Shauna when Hannah mistakes her for their captain. Melissa eventually expressed that frustration to Shauna once they were in their hut. Shauna is quick to dismiss Melissa’s anger as if it’s not a big deal. I was surprised at first about how Melissa was so upfront about being angry with Shauna, especially with Shauna’s reaction being “what’s your problem this time”. This does seem to imply it’s not the first time Melissa has had an issue with Shauna. That perhaps their relationship wasn’t as “peaceful” as it seemed in episode 6. They had moments before where they disagreed and perhaps even got into arguments. I think Melissa had accumulated a lot of frustration towards Shauna in these past few months, that she was shoving deep down inside of her because she was desperate to stay with Shauna, or was making justification for Shauna because of the sympathy she had for what she went through. But after the arrow incident, that frustration finally exploded with the loud "YOU" she told Shauna when she asked what her problem was.

It does feel like a huge red flag for me that Shauna reacted so dismissively to Melissa saying “I can’t wait to be away from you, even rolling her eyes in annoyance. As if it’s not something that she should be worried about. I think Shauna is used to having Melissa being sometimes upset at her, so to her this is nothing new. And given how very much still in love we saw Melissa being with Shauna in episode 6, it probably always ended up the same way. With Melissa forgiving Shauna for whatever she had done to her. So Shauna attempted to smooth-talk her, trying to appease her like she probably did the other time Melissa was upset at her. Shauna expected that this would be no different this time.

Except this time it was different. Melissa didn’t have to tolerate Shauna’s behavior. Because unlike the other times, she now had the hope of being rescued, she had hope for a future outside the wilderness. She still had feelings for Shauna, but if they got rescued, there was no guarantee Shauna would still be with her. After all, Shauna left her behind when she actually needed her. So for Melissa, if she had to end things with Shauna, or at least finally express her frustration with her girlfriend, now was the time. At least she wouldn’t be losing everything.

Shauna did look taken aback to see Melissa was upset about the arrow thing. She genuinely thought she did the right thing. For a split second, maybe Shauna did consider that perhaps she had been wrong. But this is Shauna we are talking about. She isn’t the type to admit being wrong. So she changed her tactic, telling Melissa to “believe what she wants”, pushing the responsibility on her, making Melissa doubt herself. Then Shauna opted for something she knows works on Melissa: violence. She told Melissa she might kill Kodiak for her. And this does seem to work, showing that despite her frustration with Shauna, part of her still likes her violent side, and finds the idea that her girlfriend would kill for her appealing. If she was starting to think Shauna might not like her, this probably makes her feel like she does. Their relationship has been built with violence, from their first kiss being a knife point to Shauna finally dating her after she injured Ben. So part of her might associate violence with love. Then Shauna tells her to “stop being a bitch” and hands her her hat, which seems to have sealed the deal with Melissa forgiving Shauna. Calling her a bitch might have been something playful between them, but this could also be a warning. Something Shauna tells her when Melissa is crossing a line and she wants her to behave.

Melissa’s demeanour changes afterward, asking Shauna what she wants to do once they get rescued. I think part of her wanted to see if Shauna had any intention to stay with her outside the wilderness. When she noticed that Shauna was zoning out, her first instinct was to ask her if she would bring the sheath she had made for her with her, since it symbolizes their relationship. I think Melissa rambling so much about what she wanted to do was her being nervous, because she was uncertain about her relationship with Shauna once they got rescued and was seeking reassurance. She needed to know she was right for forgiving Shauna this time and that all of this was worth it. Handing her her sheath is a way to see if Shauna is still interested in their relationship, “bring it home” with her could symbolize “bringing our relationship home” too. At that time Shauna was having an existential crisis, because she can’t imagine herself going back home without Jackie. She absentmindedly took the sheath, her hand shaking. Melissa smiles when Shauna takes the sheath, so I think part of her wanted to believe this meant their relationship was still salvageable and it was worth it for her to still put up with Shauna. It’s also interesting to note that they both handed each other an item. Shauna handed Melissa her hat, which she knows Melissa is attached to, while Melissa handed Shauna her sheath, which she hopes Shauna has an attachment to.

The Breakup (season 3, episode 9)

Now we move to episode 9, where Shauna has decided that they won’t leave after all. We see that at first, Melissa is part of “Team Crazy” (those who don’t want to leave). It’s obvious that Melissa does want to get rescued and she’s there mostly because Shauna is part of that team. She still wants to be with Shauna and might hope that staying is only temporary, given that’s what Taissa said. Shauna acted somewhat rudely to Melissa during the Team Crazy meeting, showing that she is taking for granted that Melissa won’t leave her. After she forgave her for the arrow incident, Shauna fell back into her old habit. She’s also starting to grow more and more paranoid regarding “Team Rescue”, thinking that they are plotting against her. So that makes her more snappy, even towards her girlfriend.

Then we reached the infamous breakup scene. Let’s start from the beginning. Melissa is charged with watching over the hostages, which include Hannah. This is a scene that showed that despite some questionable and even reprehensible behaviors Melissa showed throughout the season (especially when it came to Shauna), she is capable of genuine compassion, immediately showing sympathy to Hannah when she learned she had a daughter. It makes sense for Melissa to be particularly empathetic to this, given this is something she strongly felt towards Shauna too, she felt bad for her regarding the loss of her child. An interesting comment Melissa made while she was bonding with Hannah is about “horny teenage girls”. I think it’s fair to assume it’s about her and Shauna. Van was right, they really were living in “fun huts”. More seriously, this is just a confirmation that Shauna and Melissa were sexually active (and a lot if it’s enough for Mel to call them horny), but being intimate was already heavily implied at the end of episode 5.

Moving on to the more heavy aspect of this scene. Shauna caught Melissa laughing with Hannah and it set her off. Melissa could tell something was wrong and immediately went after Shauna to check on her. She was worried but she also failed to realize how serious this was for Shauna. But why was Shauna so upset? For multiple reasons I'd say. First, she was starting to be more and more paranoid, so seeing her girlfriend, who was also her biggest and most loyal ally, bonding with their hostage, someone who represented potential rescue, felt like a threat to Shauna. She was already on edge because of Team Rescue, so this just worsened her growing paranoia. There might also be some jealousy at play, to see her girlfriend seemingly having a good time with not only another woman, but someone Shauna isn’t familiar with, as well as someone Shauna views as a threat.

Shauna isn’t wrong to be suspicious of Hannah. She is right to be worried about her trying to manipulate Melissa, because that’s what Hannah was doing. We know as viewers that Hannah was lying, she doesn’t have custody of her child, so she was trying to make Melissa feel sympathy for her- and it worked. But I wouldn’t fault Melissa for falling for it, as she did so because she was being empathetic.

When Melissa first joined Shauna in the hut she seemed relatively calm. This is probably not the first time she had to deal with an upset Shauna, where she had to calm her down through talking and trying to appease her. Melissa probably thought this was going to be just like all these other times. But this was different, for the same reason it was different in the previous episode when Melissa was upset at Shauna, and that is because rescue is now an option. Just as rescue provided Melissa with some hope, it had the opposite impact on Shauna and re-ignited her trauma. Melissa failed to realize that, and it led to her unintentionally making things worse. Melissa tried to appeal to Shauna by mentioning that Hannah had a daughter, which she might have thought would work since Shauna knows how it feels to lose a child. She thought perhaps this was something Shauna could relate to and help her understand why she felt bad for Hannah.

But of course, it had the opposite effect. Shauna got upset because Melissa’s compassion didn’t feel unique to her anymore. Melissa being able to sympathize with a stranger over something Shauna considered was a lie made her sympathy for her feel less special, like something she’d give to anyone. Not only did it cheapen Melissa’s compassion for her in her eyes, the fact she was convinced Hannah was lying made her view Melissa with contempt for falling for it. It’s not just naive, it’s stupidity in her eyes, and also hurtful. Shauna felt hurt by Melissa’s words, so she had to hurt her back because this is the only way she knows how to express her pain now.

So she berated Melissa, belittled her, told her how stupid she thought she was. Perhaps this wasn’t the first time Shauna snapped at Melissa that way, and in different circumstances, Melissa would have just taken it. Maybe that’s what Shauna expected to happen. Melissa realized she was being naive for trusting Hannah and agreeing with Shauna as she usually does. But the situation was different. Rescue was an option now. Melissa didn’t have to tolerate Shauna’s abuse anymore. She finally reached her limit and decided to stand up for herself, feeling genuinely hurt by how Shauna was treating her over something she didn’t view as wrong.

The way Melissa storms out of the hut is similar to how Jackie stormed out of the cabin. She even grabbed a blue blanket on her way out. I think this contributed to how erratic Shauna’s behaviors were. Her very violent reaction to Melissa trying to leave has many causes. First, she didn’t like to lose control over her. In the current situation, where Shauna was already feeling like she was losing control over the group, this only exacerbated it. Especially coming from Melissa, someone who has always been so devoted to her. And doing so in public, no less. Shauna was desperately grasping at any power she could still hold among the group and towards Melissa. But also, part of her was scared she was going to lose Melissa, someone she had grown to care about. Shauna had already lost people she cared about. Telling Melissa that “no one gave a shit about you until me” was cruel, but it was also her way to tell Melissa that she did “give a shit” about her. She’s just unable to express it in a healthy way, so she has to resort to violence to express it. There’s also a bit of projection here, as Shauna did feel like she was “nothing” when she was with Jackie, thinking that she was making her invisible. Since Melissa acts as a proxy for herself, she is projection how Jackie made her feel onto her. This might also be a bit of a meta comment, given Melissa as a character became more prominent thanks to her relationship with Shauna.

As for Melissa, her reaction is what you’d expect from someone being verbally attacked by her girlfriend. She is hurt and being publicly berated by Shauna, so she reacts to that abuse by lashing out, calling Shauna “nuts” because to her, that’s how Shauna was behaving. She was acting so violently towards her over something Melissa didn’t consider wrong. Melissa specifically looking at the other girls to tell them “you are right, she is nuts” led me to believe they did try in the past to reason with Melissa, to try to make her see that Shauna wasn’t good for her. And at this moment, Melissa finally realized that they were right. The rose-tinted glasses had finally shattered, and she could see the red flags and decided she had had enough. This relationship was not worth it.

For Shauna, getting called “nuts” especially publicly, just aggravated her feeling that everyone was treating her as crazy. This is when she finally resorted to threatening Melissa with a gun, because she felt like her authority was being threatened. For Melissa to publicly call her nuts was a threat to Shauna’s fragile sense of control over the group. And for Melissa to dare her to shoot her was an even bigger threat. Something Shauna felt like she couldn’t let her get away with, for the sake of preserving the amount of power she still held.

I don’t think Melissa thought Shauna would actually shoot her, and I don’t think Shauna actually wanted to kill Melissa. But they were both so angry and upset. Melissa was angry enough that she was willing to challenge Shauna, her anger taking over her reason. It's not like it was the first time Shauna threatened her with a weapon. She had to show Shauna she wasn’t scared of her and wouldn’t back down anymore when she mistreats her. Now, for Shauna, if she wanted Melissa dead, from their distance, I think she wouldn’t have missed. I think she missed on purpose, but she missed better than she anticipated and got so close to hitting Melissa with the bullet.

Melissa’s reaction is interesting. For a moment, she definitely thought she had been shot and might die. It’s normal in a situation where you fear for your life to wet yourself. But this wasn’t just that for Melissa. It was also a trauma response. Let’s not forget that Melissa had recently been shot and nearly died. This incident with the arrow was definitely traumatizing for her, with the pain and the fear of dying, which lasted an entire night. So it’s reasonable to think getting shot at again, by her girlfriend, no less, was triggering for her. The way Melissa froze afterward. She was so in shock she couldn’t move, or even try to cover herself, or even cry. She could barely react to what was happening. She was shutting down. Van had to pull the blanket out of her hand so she could cover her with it, then help her move. It was truly a scene hard to watch and Jenna’s performance here was phenomenal.

Shauna might not have anticipated she’d come this close to hit Melissa, and she probably did intend to miss, but this went better than she expected. She managed to avoid actually killing Melissa while also asserting control over her for everyone to see, a twisted way for her to hold on to her power in the group. She might not have killed Melissa, or even physically hurt her, she did have an impact on her body. She made her wet herself in front of everyone. And Shauna did enjoy it. She smirked when she saw the effect she had on Melissa. She got some twisted gratification at humiliating her in front of everyone, something that temporarily made Shauna feel powerful again as she so desperately needed to.

Before I move on from this scene, I would like to address some takes I have seen online that I have issues with. First of all, there is no justification for being abused, even if Melissa put herself in that situation. I shouldn’t have to explain why this is victim blaming and extremely wrong to do so. But from what I saw online after episode 9 aired, it looks like I actually do have to. This is why I took the time to explain why Melissa decided to date Shauna and stay with her despite knowing she could be dangerous and violent. But I don’t think she needs a reason for doing so. People can make mistakes, they can make terrible decisions, they can act stupid, it does not mean they deserve to be abused or that they are to blame. Ultimately, the blame is on the abuser. We can discuss how Melissa contributed to the situation that led to her getting abused without saying she “deserved” it. Especially given that what started the argument was her showing compassion to Hannah. Not that Melissa would have deserved it if it wasn’t the case, but if there is one moment where she definitely did not deserve to be hurt, that’d be this one.

Secondly, no, Melissa was not being hypocritical for telling Shauna “why can’t you just be a nice person”. Naive, yes, but not hypocritical. I’m referring to when Melissa told Shauna that what she liked about her was that she “wasn’t afraid of her bad parts anymore”. Her saying that to Shauna did not mean she wanted her to be a bad person, or that she only liked her “bad parts”. It meant she liked her as a whole, including the bad parts. This was not her asking to be mistreated. In that moment, Melissa felt hurt, asking her girlfriend why she can’t be nice seems like a reasonable request one would make while being abused. This does not make her a hypocrite. It does make her quite naive to have expected Shauna to be nice, but Melissa being quite naive, especially when it comes to love, and her relationship to Shauna is a core aspect of her character, so nothing to be surprised of.

Now with that out of the way, let’s move on to the rest of the episode. Shauna is seen later alone in the hut she used to share with Melissa for months, looking at the empty spot in the bed where Melissa used to lie with her. This scene reminded me of when Shauna is seen sleeping alone in the first episode of season 2, lying next to the empty spot Jackie used to sleep in. It’s clear that part of Shauna regrets what happened with Melissa. The pleasure she got from humiliating her publicly was only ephemeral, and now she’s forced to face the consequences of her action and once again feel alone. This shows us that she did care for Melissa, but Shauna caring about someone never stopped her from hurting them. After all, she did hurt Jackie, the person she loved the most. And it’s not in Shauna’s nature to admit being wrong and apologize. So she is left to brood alone in her hut, missing the comfort she used to have when she shared it with Melissa, knowing that once again her action led her to lose someone she cared about. And this might be why we see Shauna later play with Hannah’s hair, as some sort of comfort, since this is like a “trophy” she got from hunting down Hannah. This helps her feel in control again and powerful, the only comfort she has left.

As for Melissa, it appears that she is done with Shauna and is fully on board with Team Rescue. She goes back to Gen’s hut, declaring “Fuck Shauna”. Since she had no hope of salvaging that relationship, all the hope she had left was getting rescued and getting away from Shauna. Unfortunately for them, their plan to escape was foiled by Shauna. I was surprised that Melissa didn’t go back to Shauna after this, thinking that perhaps without the hope for rescue, she’d go back to Shauna out of fear or for protection. But I think having a friend like Gen, who always had her back, helped her. It’s common for victims of abuse to go back to their abuser, but having a friend who was there for her probably helped Melissa not follow that pattern. At least, for this season.

The End? (season 3, episode 10)

Then we move on to episode 10. I admit, when I first saw the preview, I fully assumed that Shauna and Melissa would be back together. My reasoning at that time was that Melissa was wearing Shauna’s shirt (as well as her blanket?), while Shauna was seen still using the sheath Melissa had gifted her. But after seeing the episode I can see I was wrong with my assumption. It’s not uncommon for the characters to share clothes, and there can be many reasons why Melissa ended up with that shirt. I think this was more of a symbolic choice, since Shauna was wearing this shirt when she nearly killed Melissa, and Melissa also tries to kill Shauna while wearing that shirt. It might also be a power move from her, to wear the clothes Shauna had when she shot her. As for Shauna, the sheath was a gift and it’s reasonable for her to have kept it, given it’s useful to her. It might show she still has some attachment to Melissa, or perhaps some hope that they could go back together. She is seen gripping the strap, a visual representation of perhaps clinging to that hope. We don’t know exactly how much time passed between episodes 9 and 10, but it was long enough for Melissa to no longer need to wear a sling. I wouldn’t be surprised if Shauna kept thinking that Melissa would come back to her, both because she misses her and because she overestimated how much power she still had over her. That might be why she kept the sheath, in case Melissa would come back, or to show her she was still interested in getting back with her, since the sheath does represent their relationship. But of course, Shauna wouldn’t be the one to take the first step, and she certainly wouldn’t go to apologize, so it didn’t happen.

I have seen an interesting analysis of their clothes in a video, where their aesthetics were mirroring each other. As in, Melissa was dressed like Shauna, while Shauna’s aesthetic resembled Melissa’s. There is also the fact that Shauna decided to wear a hat mask, while Melissa is wearing the bunny mask Shauna wore in episode 7. Even their masks mirror each other. There is also an association with bunnies and Jackie, so both of them wearing that same mask is a way to show that their relationship is connected to Jackie. More about the mirroring later once I reach the adult timeline.

After their livestock died and Lottie mentioned how they needed to sacrifice something precious, it seemed like Shauna turned to look at Melissa, perhaps hesitating for a moment, until ultimately agreeing to the hunt. What Shauna didn’t know was that this was a scheme in order to kill her. I saw a lot of confusion online regarding that plan, so let me explain what went down. Nat, Van and Misty (and later Hannah) had their own separate plan to help Nat escape with the SAG phone so she could call for rescue. But they had nothing to do with orchestrating the hunt. This was actually Melissa, Mari, Gen and Akilah’s plan. They poisoned the livestock to push for a hunt, and killed Shauna during it. Some scenes explaining the plan in more detail were cut from the episode, but according to Gen’s actress (Vanessa Prasad), Melissa is the one who came up with the plan. This shows how much Melissa still resents Shauna for what she did to her, enough that she wants her dead. While Shauna was perhaps hoping Melissa would come back to her, the latter was planning her downfall. I think it’s possible that the other reason why Melissa suggested killing Shauna is out of guilt. After all, she did play a role in enabling Shauna and pushing her towards wanting power. Part of her might think that Shauna being their leader is her fault, as well as missing their chance for rescue. Not only is she angry at Shauna, she also feels guilty for how things turned out and this is her way to try to fix things.

Again, according to Vanessa, Melissa originally wanted to be the one to kill Shauna, but they chose Mari instead. They probably thought Melissa might still have some feelings for Shauna and wouldn’t be able to go through with it (and they were right). Mari does seem like the better. Unfortunately for them, she ended up pulling the Queen of Hearts card, so Melissa had to sub for her. Interestingly, there is a still for this episode that shows Melissa looking quite distressed during the draw. We don’t actually see this shot in the episode, but it’s possible that this is Melissa’s reaction to Mari pulling the card, since she knows she now will have to kill Shauna, and part of her knows she might not be able to do it. Despite Mari no longer being able to kill Shauna, they kept the plan going, with Gen making sure Shauna would be alone as she lured Taissa away.

Then Melissa successfully ambushed Shauna and started strangling her. Shauna didn’t know at first that it was Melissa who attacked her, so she fought back, and seemingly stopped struggling when she removed the mask and saw that it was Melissa. She did try to reason with her once the horn was blown, because it meant the hunt was over. But as Melissa said, it wasn’t over for her. She still had a mission to accomplish, and she was still angry at Shauna.

It seemed part of Shauna was accepting that fate. She was no longer fighting back. Perhaps part of her thought she deserved it, or that Melissa was in the right for wanting her dead. Shauna has been depressed for so long that part of her might be welcoming death, and dying by Melissa’s hand might have felt like a fitting death. After all, Shauna projects herself onto her, and Shauna is trying to emulate Jackie. Shauna considers that she killed Jackie, so Melissa killing her reinforces the dynamic she desperately wanted to recreate with her. According to Sophie, there’s also the fact Shauna reached such a low point that she thinks she has nothing to lose, she isn’t scared of death anymore. This is about the thrill of the game and taking things to the extreme, even if it results in her own death.

We progressively saw Melissa’s resolution fading as she strangled Shauna. At first, she looked angry and determined to go through with it, but her expression slowly changed to show shock and horror as she realized that she was about to kill Shauna. Shauna wasn’t even fighting back anymore and at this point in time, Melissa didn’t have what it takes to kill someone. Despite the resentment she had towards Shauna, deep down, she still had some feelings for her and didn’t want her to die. She knows why Shauna is the way she is, and feels guilty for enabling her bad parts. So part of her might think Shauna didn’t deserve to die because she considered herself just as guilty as her for the way she turned out. She might have thought Shauna not fighting back meant she wanted to die, and given the empathy Melissa always had for her, this reawakened the sympathy she once had for her. There’s also the fact that she must have realized that Mari was dead, and the guilt of knowing that it was her plan that led to her death.

According to Jenna, the way she interpreted it was about how Melissa was in a struggle for power. Her crush on Shauna might not have started because she was seeking power, once she got a taste of power by being with Shauna she took a liking for it and started encouraging Shauna to seek power. The actress said that in that moment, Melissa realized that she had the power to kill Shauna and it frightened her. It was too much for her. She did not want that kind of power. She was having so many different emotions at that moment and started feeling overwhelmed, so she couldn’t go through with it. At this moment, Melissa rejected her bad parts.

Shauna’s reaction to this attempted murder was interesting. I firmly believed that if anyone else had tried that with her, she would have struck back. But she did not attack Melissa afterward, even if she could. Instead, she told her “I knew you’d turn out to be boring”, a recall to their conversation in episode 3. This was a cruel remark to make to Melissa. Sophie’s opinion on this line was that Shauna wants people to feel as bad as she feels about herself, so anyone not being as cruel as she is upsets her. So Melissa not going through with killing her disappointed her. I also think part of Shauna might be annoyed that the only reason she is still alive is because Melissa decided to spare her life. There might be some projection too, given Shauna also failed to kill Melissa in the previous episode. Just like Melissa was dealing with a lot of conflicting emotions while she was attempting to kill her, so is Shauna after Melissa decided to spare her. Shauna leaves afterward, leaving Melissa to roll over, reeling from what she had almost done.

The last time we saw them interact in the teen timeline is when Shauna put on her Antler Queen outfit. Melissa is seen putting a lock of Mari’s hair on her costume. The show took the time to linger on Melissa’s face and her looking at Shauna at that moment. It’s unclear what the expression Melissa had on her face was, given she was wearing the bunny mask. Jenna was asked about what that look meant in an interview, and she said that it was a look of guilt. She felt guilty about Mari’s dying, but also because she feels responsible for Shauna turning out that way. She did want Shauna to become their leader before, she pushed her into that direction. But not like that. Not at that cost. So she felt guilty, because part of her knew she had a role to play in this. Jenna also said that the look was like she was kneeling to Shauna and telling her “you won”. She not only feels guilty, she feels defeated. Her plan to kill Shauna failed, and now she was forced to face the consequences of her actions, with not only failing to kill Shauna but playing a part in enabling her into becoming the Antler Queen.

As we know, both Shauna and Melissa survived into adulthood, their story as teenagers might not be over. We will have to see what season 4 has in store for them. I do believe their relationship isn’t over. For Shauna to still think Melissa might be in love with her 25 years later and for Melissa to send that tape to Shauna, I believe we haven’t seen the last of them. I wouldn’t say I expect them to get back together romantically, but I’m expecting something, especially if that ties in with the adult timeline. I expect something darker that would explain why adult Melissa feels significantly more twisted than teen Melissa. I’m definitely looking forward whatever season 4 will bring to their relationship.

Adult timeline

I know I already covered episodes 8 and 9 but I deliberately left out the adult timeline parts so I could talk about it as a whole after so I can keep things in chronological order. We are still missing a lot of context between the teen and adult timelines regarding Melissa, but we do know some details. First, she’s one of the official survivors. She felt like she wasn’t “one of them” after rescue, meaning she didn’t feel like she belonged with the other survivors. And, according to her, she was scared of Shauna. When asked why she faked her own death, those last two points are the reason she gave. That’s why I feel like there must have been something that happened between these two post-rescue, and Melissa got scared for her safety and didn’t feel like she could count on the others. Shauna going back with Jeff might also have contributed to her decision to fake her own death. Melissa also said “a lot's happened in the last 25 years” so I get the feeling she faked her death shortly after rescue. Then the rest of her life as “Kelly” is relatively unknown, other than she managed to track down Hannah’s daughter (Alex), stalked her for years until they officially met, fell in love, get married and had a child together. So far, this is probably the most messed up thing Melissa did.

Now, let’s take a look at what we saw in season 3. Adult Melissa actually had two cameos in episode 1, one where she is seen looking at Shauna with Taissa and Van at the restaurant after Nat’s funeral, then later at the end outside of Shauna’s house, leaving the tape in an envelop that Callie picked up. There was a note inside where Melissa revealed to Shauna that she is alive and apologized for letting her think she was dead, explaining what the tape was about and ask her to forgive herself. Unfortunately, the note fell when Callie opened the envelope so Shauna couldn’t have that explanation. There is also a scene in episode 2 that might have been Melissa. When Shauna was at the restaurant with Jeff and the Joels, there was a woman in the bathroom with her that left the phone with the ringtone “Queen of Heart” before closing the lights. Later, when Shauna called the restaurant, she had the confirmation that it was a woman who came back to pick up the phone, and Shauna asked for a physical description of her. We don’t hear if she got a description, but in the next episode, Shauna’s prime suspect for the phone prank was Misty. So I feel perhaps she was told the woman was blonde without much other details. More on that later.

Melissa is officially mentioned for the first time in the adult timeline in episode 7. It’s mentioned that her and Gen got close to Hannah when they are discussing who could have smuggled the tape back from the Wilderness, but also that they are both apparently death. Now, I’ll spare you with the crashout I felt when that scene happened, and with the preview for the next episode showing Hilary Swank with obvious blue contacts, I knew that Melissa had faked her death. To be fair, it was obvious since episode 2 that she would play adult Melissa, but I digress. When Van mentioned that Melissa is dead, it focused on Shauna’s expression. Before episode 8 aired, my assumption was that Shauna knew Melissa wasn’t dead, so they showed her react suspiciously when her apparent death was mentioned. But given Shauna didn’t seem to know Melissa was alive in episode 8, it was most likely just Shauna being surprised to hear her ex’s name after so long, ex that she thought was dead. Then stuff happened and Shauna ended up driving alone to Alex’s house, thinking she was the one who sent the tape.

Fast forward to episode 8, Shauna spent the night in her car outside Alex’s house. She sneaked inside in the morning and quickly had to hide in a pantry when Alex shows up. She is with her young daughter and is later joined by her wife “Kelly”, who is none other than Melissa, alive and well. There is a lot of symbolism in this scene. First, we have Shauna hiding in a “closet”, while watching her ex-girlfriend with her wife and child. A life perhaps part of Shauna could have desired when she was younger. But there is also the fact Shauna can represent the skeleton in Melissa’s closet, the thing she is hiding from her wife. About her true identity and what she did to her mother in the wilderness. Also, I must mentioned, when Hilary Swank showed up on my screen wearing the backward hat I literally screamed. It was one thing being convinced she’d be adult Melissa, actually seeing her (with the hat, no less) did something for my brain chemistry. Anyway.

After her wife and child left, Melissa spotted that there was someone hiding in her pantry and immediately went on the offensive, holding a knife and threatening her. She didn’t seem to know it was Shauna and wasn’t afraid of the potential home invader. She had experienced much worse in her life. Shauna seems frustrated, probably because she has fully processed what Melissa had done. She faked her own death and left her to believe she was dead all along, and was now married to the daughter of a woman they killed. So she came out from the pantry, also holding a knife, ready to confront her ex about that. I would like to point out it’s somewhat similar to their scene at the end of episode 2. Melissa was the one hiding while Shauna asked her to show herself while holding a knife. Here, it’s the opposite, with Shauna hiding and Melissa doing the threatening first.

First, I’d like to address Melissa claiming she didn’t love Shauna and never did. I touched upon that a little at the beginning but wanted to elaborate once I reached the adult timeline. I don’t think we can trust most of what adult Melissa claims, no matter how convincing she sounds. This isn’t the same girl we knew as a teenager, she has been living a lie for decades and is probably an excellent liar now. It doesn’t mean everything she said is a lie, but it should be taken with a grain of salt. It’s possible she is lying here to Shauna, perhaps because she is ashamed of herself for ever loving Shauna, or to get a raise out of her. She could also just be in denial that she was in love with her. As I mentioned earlier, Jenna’s take on that, that what you consider love as a 17 years old might be different than when you are 42. She does think that teen Melissa was (or at least, thought) she was in love with Shauna (going as far as to say she thought it was the love story of her life- and might be), but adult Melissa could no longer consider what she felt for Shauna was love. And both can be right, as the definition of love can be subjective. Teen Melissa viewed it as love, while adult Melissa might consider that it was an obsession, or as Jenna called it, limerence.

I think Shauna did feel betrayed by Melissa faking her own death, and that’d explain her more hostile behavior towards her. We don’t know the exact circumstances of Melissa fake suicide, but for Shauna, having another person she did care about die, especially if she feels like it was her fault, must have been awful. She already had so much guilt, and it might have pushed her further into wanting to “atone” by building a life with Jeff, a man she didn’t love and married out of guilt. So knowing that all this time not only Melissa was alive but also married to Alex must have felt like a gut punch. All that extra guilt was for nothing. And for Melissa to brag about how her life is supposedly wonderful and that she loves her wife and child just added insult to injury. Melissa is seemingly succeeding at what Shauna failed, to have a happy marriage with a spouse she loves and a kid she likes. So her frustration with Melissa is understandable, especially since she rightfully called out Melissa for living a lie. For how fucked up it is for her to be with Alex. To her, Melissa doesn’t get to have a happy life, because she didn’t. And because that happy life is built on a lie and at the expense of Shauna, who had to live with the guilt of thinking perhaps Melissa committed suicide because of her. And as she rightfully pointed out, even if Melissa did love Alex, Alex doesn’t know who she truly is. How can she truly be happy in a life where she can’t be herself? Shauna knows Melissa can’t actually be this happy, because she too, built a life around her guilt, and she is miserable.

That’s bringing me to my next point, why Melissa sent the tape to Shauna. According to her, it was so she could move on, and she thought the tape would allow Shauna to do the same. Shauna doesn’t believe her since she hasn’t seen the note. We do get to see the note in the next episode, which seems to imply Melissa was telling the truth, but I still have my doubts. I think part of Melissa was tired of living a lie. Tired of not being able to be herself. She missed her old self. I don’t think she disliked her wife and child, but deep down, she knew they wouldn’t love her if they knew who she truly was. And this is definitely a stressful way to live. Deep down, I think Melissa knew what she did was messed up, but she went so far that it didn’t seem like she could go back. She was married to Alex now, and they even had a child. She felt guilty for deceiving Alex, and didn’t think she deserved the “happy” life she built with her. The nightmares she mentioned are a manifestation of that guilt, and how tired she is of living that lie. She could have sent that tape to any of the survivors, someone she knew wouldn’t have reacted violently to it, but she chose the worst person to whom to send it: Shauna. Even in the show, you have Taissa pointing out how stupid it was, because there was no way that Shauna wouldn’t have try to track her down, even if she had read the note. Melissa wanted Shauna to come after her, because it would give her a convenient excuse to leave her current life behind. She was pushing the responsibility on Shauna to destroy her life instead of doing it herself. I also think that she was essentially leaving her fate in Shauna’s hands. If Shauna read that note and decided to not go after her, it would be as if she is “forgiven” for living that lie and allowed to be happy. If even Shauna decides to let it go, then perhaps she could, too. But as we saw, fate had other plans for Melissa.

A misunderstanding I have often seen online is that Melissa was actually doing better, and had put the past behind her. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Melissa isn’t doing “better”; she is just as traumatized and messed up as the other survivors. From marrying the daughter of a woman she contributed to killing after stalking her for years and sending an incriminating tape to Shauna of all people, it’s clear Melissa is neither doing better or had moved on from her past. Melissa might claim she has changed, going as far as to fake her own death and live under a new identity, she is still the same Melissa. Her still wearing a backward hat to me is a visual representation of that. It’s not uncommon for survivors to cling to an item linked to their trauma, and the hat could symbolize that. An interesting detail about the hat Melissa is wearing in the adult timeline is that it features a penguin. It might not be important, but penguins are known for mating for life, so it might have been there to symbolize that she never was over Shauna.

I do think Melissa was lying about the phone. We do know that some of Shauna’s accusations towards Melissa were wrong. She didn’t kill Lottie, she didn’t cut her brake, she did not lock her in a freezer. We have an explanation now for all these incidents. But the phone one is still sketchy. I think Melissa lied about that because after getting accused of so many messed-up things she didn’t actually do, it wasn’t in her best interest to admit to that one. Shauna was already on edge and thinking she was out to kill her, so admitting to anything would have made things worst. Also, given how the scene where Shauna asked about the woman who picked up the phone was intertwined with the kiss in the teen timeline, I just cannot believe this wasn’t Melissa. The song “Queen of Hearts” being the ringtone is too much of a coincidence, especially when the lyrics describe their relationship perfectly. Melissa claiming it’s normal to have that as a ringtone is suspicious, as I don’t think it’d be that common. The light being closed right after is also suspicious, so I don’t think this was just a random person who happened to forget her phone, who happened to have a song that perfectly captures their relationship. This had to be deliberated. And as I mentioned earlier, Shauna might have been given a minimal description of the woman, only about the color of her hair, hence why she first accused Misty. A blonde woman left that phone there, and unless proven otherwise, I firmly believe it was Melissa.

Why would Melissa leave that phone? I think part of her was frustrated that Shauna didn’t do anything with the tape and the note she left her. She was expecting Shauna to come after her and she didn’t know that Shauna never got them. So she had to poke the bear. She didn’t like to be ignored by Shauna. She didn’t want to accept Shauna could just have moved on and decided to actually “forgive” her. She had to give a bit more incentive for Shauna to come after her, and she knew triggering her paranoia would do the trick. Melissa might have admitted to Shauna about the phone incident if it wasn’t for Shauna accusing her of trying to kill her and of having killed Lottie, because that was never Melissa’s intention. She had to deny leaving the phone. She underestimated Shauna once again and how far her paranoia would take her. She wanted Shauna to come after her, but she didn’t want Shauna to think she was trying to kill her. So it was easier to just deny all the accusations Shauna threw at her.

Shauna’s frustration reached a dangerous point when Melissa called her out. Telling her how she is lying about Callie loving her, about Shauna’s self-destructive nature, about how she is miserable and wants everyone to be as miserable as her. All of this was true, but it also felt like projections. Melissa is also being self-destructive, getting herself into a situation that she knows is wrong, by marrying Alex and setting herself up for a life where she cannot be truly happy. And what is more self-destructive than sending that tape to Shauna of all people? It’s very ironic for adult Melissa to project like that on Shauna, given that’s essentially what teen Shauna did to her. When Melissa tried to grab Shauna’s knife, the latter reacted quickly and dislocated her shoulder, and a short fight ensued, where they both got some good hits on the other. But unfortunately for Melissa, with one arm handicapped (might be a call back to the whole arrow situation), she is ultimately overpowered by Shauna, who decides to take a bite of her arm, and try to force her to eat it or else she’d tell the truth to her family.

I think Shauna did that because she desperately needed to take back control of the situation. Melissa had read her like a book, and this made Shauna feel vulnerable. She had to show Melissa she could still have power over her. And what better way to do so than biting her and forcing her to eat her own flesh. Cannibalism has always been part of their story, and it’s a way to assert dominance over her, similar to when Shauna ate Jackie’s ear.

This scene continues in episode 9, where Melissa lets Shauna put the piece of her own flesh in her mouth. Shauna smirked at that sight, demonstrating she was enjoying this. She always enjoyed having power over Melissa. The latter chewed on it slowly, possibly because she knew that and wanted Shauna distracted enough to plan her escape. She ended up not actually eating her flesh and spitting it on Shauna’s face. Shauna tried to grab her by the hair, ripping some of it, and it seemed to have distracted her for a few seconds. We do know Shauna seems to have a thing for hair- especially women’s.

When Melissa managed to get in her car, Shauna asked her to open the door, almost as if she expected Melissa to actually listen to her. Perhaps an old habit of when Melissa used to be obedient to her. But of course, Melissa didn’t listen to her and drove away. She is seen smiling after all, showing that she did enjoy this. She missed that thrill. But unfortunately for her, her car was out of gas, and she ended up being captured by the remaining survivor and dragged back to her house.

Shauna looked relieved to see they brought Melissa back with them, then eager to tie her up. Shauna is still accusing Melissa of everything that happened to her lately, trying to convince the other survivors. This is when Misty admits she was behind the freezer incident and firmly believes Melissa is innocent, as she still thinks Shauna killed Lottie. She leaves the house, and they actually do end up tying up Melissa. Shauna and Melissa had an interesting back and forth where they tried to convince the others that they aren’t the problem or the craziest one among the two. Taissa and Van seemed to agree at first with Melissa when Adam was brought up, realizing that this was a similar situation, one where Shauna dragged them into her own mess. However, Shauna managed to push back the heat on Melissa by revealing she married Alex. It worked as Taissa and Van ultimately sided with Shauna. They discuss what they are going to do with Melissa, and it seems like both Taissa and Van think there aren’t many “options”, aka they will probably need to kill her. Interestingly, Shauna is the one who told them to wait and let her think, so it seems like Shauna didn’t want to kill Melissa. Part of her might still care about her.

Melissa ultimately manages to escape, killing Van in the process, showing that she wasn’t as innocent as she claimed. I think there are many reasons why Melissa killed Van, but this isn’t really the analysis for that. But if I have to tie it to shaunahat, I’d say perhaps Melissa has some trauma regarding not killing Shauna when she had the chance, because of what could have happened later. We know a lot of other characters in the teen timeline are going to die, and Melissa might feel responsible for those, thinking it could have been avoided if she had killed Shauna. So if put back in a situation where she has the chance to kill someone, especially when her life was at risk (Van did try to kill her first, and the group made it very clear it was their intention), she did it. There is also Shauna calling her “boring” over not killing her, so perhaps this was her twisted way to prove to Shauna she was wrong. Hopefully, this will be explored more in season 4. When Shauna comes back to the house, she keeps calling for Melissa, like she was hoping she’d not only still be there, but would listen to her. I think that reaction to Melissa’s disappearance was interesting and might indicate Shauna still cares for her.

Unfortunately, Melissa doesn’t appear in episode 10, but she is mentioned twice as Shauna’s ex-girlfriend, which Shauna did not deny. At least it does confirm that what they had in the wilderness was an actual relationship, they were dating, they were officially girlfriends. I’m mostly mentioning that because it was a point of contention at some point online. Shauna did find the note Melissa left her, and it’s after reading the part about “forgiving herself” that she snapped, destroying the letter while thinking about the people she had hurt (the bunny, Adam, Callie, and then Melissa) and started crying. While it’s not entirely about Melissa, it’s her words that triggered that reaction, and she was among the people she thought about while crying. I think it does speak about the impact Melissa had on Shauna, and still can. Then it’s what causes Shauna to start writing her “journals” again, starting to reconnect with who she used to be in the wilderness, the Antler Queen who was partially enabled by Melissa.

Something interesting in the adult timeline is that Melissa is written to be a mirror of Shauna. That’s what the writers for these episodes said. Just like Shauna, she married someone out of guilt, someone connected to a person she feels responsible for the death of. She is living a married life with a child in the suburbs, just like Shauna, and was given a minivan specifically to emphasize the resemblance. Both women are secretly miserable in their respective life, both missing the thrill they had as teenagers. They are both self-destructive and can’t move on from their past. Another point is that the writers mentioned that Melissa only “go bad” once she was forced to ate her own flesh, like it triggered something in her. Before that she was still clinging to her Kelly persona, trying to convince herself she had changed, but after that incident, like a sleeper agent, the real Melissa was back, finally shattering the facade she desperately clung to.

My expectation for season 4 regarding the adult timeline is for Shauna and Melissa to get back together in some way. I think this is what the show is hinting at. With Taissa and Misty seemingly teaming up to take down Shauna, we might see her team up with Melissa out of necessity, and that could lead them to rekindle their relationship. Melissa is possibly on the run after killing Van, even if the body wasn’t found. She can’t go back home, and Shauna is now alone in her house, so that seems like the perfect setup for Melissa to stay with her. We know Hilary Swank will be a series regular if the show is renewed, so I’m looking forward to what’s in store for adult shaunahat.

Conclusion

Now we have reached the conclusion for this analysis. I mentioned at the beginning that shaunahat as a couple was mutually toxic and I stand by it. Even if her intention wasn’t malicious, Melissa did enable the worst in Shauna, she validated her feelings and desire for power, both because she was infatuated with Shauna and desired to be with her, and for her own benefit. Shauna also had a negative impact on Melissa, I wouldn’t say she “corrupted” her, but she did awaken some darker tendencies in her. This wasn’t a relationship born out of mutual love, but due to the circumstances they were in and out of convenience. They both felt lonely and had nothing to lose, so this relationship was there to satisfy their personal desires. Melissa wanted love, she also used Shauna to feel safe. Shauna wanted control over someone and some form of comfort. It was a mutually beneficial relationship for two people stuck in the Wilderness with no hope of going home… until it wasn’t. I do think the arrow incident started the falling out of their relationship, but the potential for rescue is what sealed the deal. They no longer wanted the same thing, they no longer benefited from that relationship. Melissa still liked Shauna, and Shauna had come to care about her, but it wasn’t enough. That’s why I believe they might go back together in the adult timeline, because they are both at a point where they need each other. They are both in trouble and could benefit from one another. This is what their relationship is essentially built on, how they can use each other for their own benefit. And I don’t think they’d introduce that relationship in the teen timeline and have Melissa as a survivor if they didn’t want to explore more of it in the adult timeline.

As to why I made this analysis, I wanted to elaborate on this relationship since I think there is a lot of misunderstanding about it, give my own perspective on their scenes together, and maybe change some people’s views of them. I personally love this ship both because I love Melissa as a character, and because I like these kinds of dynamics. I can relate to toxic and abusive relationships because I personally experienced those, hence why I have a personal attachment to Melissa as a character. I did say that shaunahat were a toxic couple, but it was also abusive, on Shauna’s side. And I like how the show portrays that toxicity and abuse. Melissa is a victim of abuse, but she isn’t portrayed as a “perfect” victim who did nothing wrong. She is also a flawed person who did bad stuff, and put herself in a situation where she ended up being abused. It doesn’t mean she deserved that, as I mentioned before, but it’s refreshing to see, and it’s something I think a lot of people can relate to. And as for Shauna, despite being an abuser in that situation, she isn’t written to be evil. We know why she is that way, and we can still sympathize with her without justifying her actions. I also think Melissa, despite some people not liking her as a character, really contributed to the plot and helped drive it, both in teen and adult timelines. So far her role was mostly to further Shauna’s arc, and I do wish she would continue to do so while also having her own character arc in the next season. I think Jenna Burgess was fantastic in the role and I hope she will have her role expanded upon in the next season, especially since they plan to make Hilary Swank a series regular.

Phew, finally over. Over 20k words! This is definitely the longest analysis I have ever written. What can I say, I am very passionate about this relationship and hope to see more of them in season 4. Thank you all if you managed to reach the end, and please let me know your thoughts, I love to discuss both shaunahat and Melissa as a character with people!

#yellowjackets #shauna shipman #shauna sadecki #melissa hat #melissa yellowjackets #analysis #theory #shaunahat #shauna x melissa #ship manifesto

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