#i just wanna have the energy to properly be involved in the lives of the people i care about :( ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!

[tarjapearce]

Mama's Pick up Lines (Pt. 1)

Warning: Fluff, a bit of rizz ~

Summary: Mama looves rizzing up Miguel.

(In honor to Valentine's day a lil blurb jskjs)

If there was something that you loved, was watching Miguel a flustered or surprised mess. Mostly of the time he was the one that always provided the right amount of rizz to have your cheeks flustered or a trembling mess underneath him.

But this time, you were set into switching the roles. Sundays meant he'd spend the day at home, being a dad and a husband. Your perfect chance.

You'd grown to learn the sound of his heavy steps, and he approached, probably to serve another cup of coffee. As soon as he entered the room, you rushed to close the kitchen's curtains, leaving the space a bit darker, he quirked a brow at your sudden energy ourburst.

"Mi reina?"

"Hm?"

"You okay?"

He put the cup on the counter island, reaching for the coffee machine.

"Yeah... Just... These damned suns are too bright today."

"Suns?"

His brow knitted together in brief confusion, "There's only one sun, mi vida."

If something had him baiting, was inaccurate science facts. It ground his gears to no end. A total nerd through and through.

"No, no. I mean, one is outside" He blinked at your words, truly wondering if you were kidding or not

"And the other one is about to get himself some coffee."

It took a couple of seconds longer for it to click on his brain. You giggled at his speechless reaction, but his wide and unbelieving eyes and the bashful smile he gave said it all.

With a giggle you kissed his reddening cheek, letting the compliment to sink in properly.

-----

Miguel wasn't one for crafts or anything that involve glitter or intricately cut shapes. Hands too big for  the scissors. The living room's floor filled with paper and other material's leftovers.

And still, he would never say no to his kids. He was helping Benjamin to cut some things for a gift to one of his classmate's school birthday party

You entered the room, watching him.

"What are you doing?"

"Uh... wrapping this, apparently?."

"Oh, can I do that? I wanna wrap it."

He dropped the scissors in the coffee table, grateful that you were to save him of some stress. But to his surprise, your legs went around him, clinging on him and securing around his waist like you'd do in the privacy of your room and kissed him briefly while he was sitting on the couch

His brain froze for a moment, and he blinked as you removed your legs off him, an impish smirk on your face.

"Wha... What was that?"

"I asked if I could, so I wrapped it."

You ran away with a screech before hearing the hefty steps tailing after you. You were so in trouble.

----

Miguel was picking the vitamins for the kids in the monthly shop of them, He had Rosie secured to his chest within the pink baby carrier, bee shaped pacifier on her mouth, staring at everything that moved.

"I think..." he mumbled while taking another look at the list, "We've got them all."

Benjamin was helping Gabriella to pick the snacks in the other aisle.

"No, not all of them."

He frowned.

"What do you mean?, We've got complex B, Omega 3, your biotin, Iron, melatonin for us and the kids." He pointed at each bottle as he spoke

You shook your head. "I haven't had my vitamin D yet"

And oh boy... His face went through the five stages of grief in a couple of seconds, specially when you purposely bit your lip subtly. Cheeks flushed as another couple gave silent titters as they passed by you both. They had heard it all. He heaved a deep exhale and waved a warning finger to you, a deep shade of pink in his ears.

"Compórtate. O no te la doy." (Behave, or I won't give it to you)

----

Sometimes, you'd wake up earlier than everyone and would find him in the kitchen, brewing his coffee or chugging down his water bottle after running some laps around the block.

You'd get some cereal and waited for the kids to join. But you frowned and scrunched your nose at the taste of the cereal.

"You alright?" He sipped the coffee.

"No. This milk tastes weird."

His brow quirked, ready to see the carton for any expiration date

"That's why I rather yours."

He spat the gulp of coffee as you laughed silently to then smirk

"You ok, Papa?"

"Ya vas a ver." (You'll see.)

-----

"Miguel, mi amor, can you get me the salt please?"

You wiped Rosie's chin off the smeared puree, he turned around to grab the little square shaped salt container, and you seized the chance to take a soft hold of his chin and turn his head around to give him a deep smooch.

"Hey"

He blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat as Benjamin and Gabi jeered.

"Papa's got pink cheeks!" Benjamin teased, and Rosie gave a bubbly laugh

"See? till got it."

You definitely did.

[lastoneout]

Okay I'm finally sitting down to properly watch the PJO series so here's an episode-by-episode live blog I guess. (Fair warning, I haven't read the books since I was a teenager, I am a smidge of an apologist for the films, and my favorite adaptation so far has been the musical.)

Episode One:

All of the actors are doing a really good job, I especially like Sally.

The costume design for both the monsters and the humans is pretty killer. I want Percy's sweater.

I also love the little seaside cabin and want to live there!!!

This is such a mild gripe BUT as someone with dyslexia I wish there was a better way to visually depict it without like, doing the swapping letters thing cuz that's just not what it's actually like at all.

Gabe maybe feels a little too funny. Like I'm supposed to hate him and think it's justified that he deserves to be turned into stone at the end, this version of him is really.....toned down, and his banter with Percy and Sally was fun to watch. I should hate him, but really he just came across as unpleasant. Less abusive asshole and more "old married couple who share interests but can't communicate without shouting" you know?

Loved Grover's little "I'm 24 actually" lmao that was great.

Not a fan of Percy immediately recognizing the Minotaur within a millisecond of it appearing before the audience even got a good look at it. Like, I just sat there thinking "how can he even see it?" rather than feeling scared of a big monster barreling at them.

The action is uh....fine? Feels a little lackluster. Or kinda....divorced from the rest of the show weirdly?? Idk it makes me feel like I'm watching a movie of a movie if that makes sense?? But we'll see where they go with it. (I know banter during a fight isn't realistic and people make fun of Marvel for it, but like...it helps to have at least a little talking. We don't wanna be Man of Steel.)

I feel like there's been a few "slightly out of sync ADR" moments but they weren't too distracting.

Pacing into Sally saying goodbye felt a little long, kinda took the shock of her dying out of the scene, but the actress REALLY sold all the emotional beats so I'll forgive it.

I LOVE the credits sequence!!! Reminds me of the designs on that one box set of the books in a really cool way.

Episode Two:

Oh yes the ugly ass neon orange shirts are here bless!

FUCK YES THAT'S DIONYSUS BAYBEEE!! My ONLY note is that he def could have turned up the energy a little, but that's probably just bcs I love how loud and unpleasant he is in the musical and I also know how unhinged this actor can be.

Chiron is such a delight <3

I like the cabins too, way better than how I imagined them as a kid reading the books lol

Oh, I can see why the new fans fell for Luke so hard.

Grover assuming a human being squished would be like an old banana is very funny. Felt very book-humor in a good way.

Clarisse!!

Oh damn actual disabled half-bloods, very cool!

Minor but I can't actually tell what Percy did wrong with the bow? Weird editing I guess.

Aside from that I actually love a good "fuck up" montage, I honestly wish it were a little longer.

Probably doesn't matter but I don't get having them burn the food after they've started eating? I thought that was a before you sit down type thing.

Percy burning the blue candy to try to talk to his mom was sweet tho T_T

"real friends" hahahaha.....yeah.......about Luke.......

yay! hazing!

Oh I love Annabeth already >:D

Thalia.....is pronounced differently than I thought....?

(I'm sorry I'm too much of a fan of 'Tree on the Hill' for this exposition dump. That shit hits harder when coming from Grover.)

Percy giving Annabeth the "actually I suck and my self esteem is riding on this so like pls don't ask me to do anything hard T_T" talk is just, so good lmao

ofc he doesn't know what's going on Annabeth you didn't tell him anything

Okay the action is a lot better when it's between the actual characters and doesn't involve a 3D monster, though I still had trouble following all the hits Percy was taking.

Oooh I can see why people did so much art of Percy being claimed that was a good shot.

FUCK YEAH TELL HIM YOU'RE SALLY JACKSON'S SON

(I hope they kept the Oracle in the attic...)

Okay I have to go do some things and then I'll be back for more!

[yaraaltroreboot]

Top 10 Annoying Orange Videos

Some people don’t like Annoying Orange, but for those that do, I wanna make a top 10 of episodes. As far as I researched, besides the channel itself posting a top 10 of episodes based on views, I don’t think anyone actually posted a Top 10 of Orange episodes, and I honestly think it deserves it.

The show created by Dane Boedigheimer, which was intended to be a one episodes thing, grew up to become something beyong he or any of us could imagine. This show revolves, obviously, around the main character, its ways of annoying directly or indirectly other foods, objects and guest stars in the kitchen. Though sometimes a joke CAN be carried for far too long, there ARE some good episodes that show the potential of this webseries and I’d like to show you some of my favorites.

Now, there are various holiday themed episodes, like the Christmas and Halloween themed ones, and certain episodes from Shocktober and Ask Orange series, and of course MANY movie spoofs. These are not entering the list, sorry. I’ll be focusing on episodes that are not part of a series, are not technically spoofs, challenges, or asks to any character. Mostly pattern adventures in the kitchen, other locations and those I perosnally think that used the comedy better. 

NOPE, not using the first ever episode, it’s cheating!

10 - Close Encounters of the Annoying Kind

Yeah, despite the title it isn’t a spoof episode, but it does involve the main idea: Pear and Orange get abducted. By what? Greys? Xenomorphs? Predators? Nope, BROCCOLI! Alien Broccoli! And I’m really sure the short-lived Cartoon Netwrok show took notice of this episode and saw an opportunity there. Really, I do like most of the episodes in the show, so don’t you dare judging me.

Back to the episode, that’s basically it: Orange and Pear are in a spaceship, with alien broccoli planning to dissect them. I just question why Orange seems to LIKE Justin Bieber, but this episode IS from 2010, so it was before we knew who he really is. I also really like the Broccoli Leader voiced by Evan Ferrante aka NotTomCruise. This early episode has a simple premise, the jokes flow properly, it’s good. I really like it.

9 - The Amnesiac Orange

I was torn among this one and The Exploding Orange, but honestly, I think this one has a lot more funny potential. Basically Orange gets hit in the head by a canteloupe and forgets who he is. Then, an apple comes by and trick him into believing he’s an apple. That is brilliant, and a little mean. But then again, he IS an apple.

The casting is excellent, the memory loss scenario is used very well here, and for such a short story, we have quite a lot of laughs. I at least laughed very much at this one.

8 - ZOOM!!!

Another basic plot: Orange takes an energy drink. Just that has plenty of potential, like in the Family Guy episode New Kidney in Town’s beginning. The energy drink that gives the episode its name is voiced by Bobjenz, well known for the voice of Grapefruit. And it might be the pitch, which is actually something well handled by the webseries’ characters, but hearing Zoom’s voice and excitement at his first appearance brings a big smile to my face. 

Also, adding a bit of venting here, in early episodes, Pear’s a lot more patient with Orange. He’s annoyed like everyone, but he still handles it with patience Orange’s hyper boost. Later episodes show Pear as intelligent and often hysterical, and always trying to hard to be something he isn’t. Like, in his extreme challenge videos, he seems to care too much about what others think of him. This early episodes Pear has a good will, patience and doesn’t deny being Orange’s friend, even though he’s annoying. I miss this.

7 - The Fruitbowl!

Orange and Pear narrate to us a Superbowl game and Little Apple literally becomes a part of that game. In Brazil we have the World Cup transmissions, but boy, the Superbowl events sound and look awesome, from the games to the crowd and performances. Heck, Michael Jackson started this trend.

There are funny moments, great slapstick and everyone gets a moment to shine. Marshmallow’s cute show is short but any moment with them is so cute. Please don’t bring up the gender discussion, It was settled recently that they're non-binary. This is a very good episode in my book.

6 - Clam’s Casino

This particular one is among those I hit replay for. A clam and his associates bring up a Vegas-style casino to the kitchen and we watch the Kitchen Crew, as we expect, bet and lose all their money. It’s a cliché, but clichés work when they’re properly used. 

Brock Baker gave a great performance as Johnny Clam, and the jokes are well-written and portrayed. Certainly we’ll think twice before we gamble.

5 - Pickleback

I’m really confused about why people hate Nickelback. What happened? What did I miss? Anyway, this episode shows obviously a pickle version of the band brainwashing food to get pickled despite their song apparently being awful.

And Orange’s annoyance actually manage to save the day for once. This is quite refreshing and enjoyable to see: Orange helping his friends with what he can do. Another video on the replaying book.

4 - Fan Boy

At a certain point, we were and maybe still are all fanboys and fangirls, and when we get to meet our idols in person it’s like a dream come true. Imagine being a fan that’s a fan of the Annoying Orange? 

Fan Boy’s behavior sort of remind us all of how we feel in this sort of environment. He even quotes the fan joke from an episode and how vintage things are. This episode works with what it has very nicely.

3 - Limes

Brad freakin’ Paisley! Really, Brad Paisley comes to the kitchen as a lime to cheer Orange up with a song. Musical episodes are always good, and Brad is really talented. This one reminds me a bit of Excess Cabbage, de in facto first episode of Annoying Orange I watched. So I hold it really dearly to my heart and added it to the replay book.

The song, the environment, the optimistic message, it’s a gem. I so reccomend this episode and this song.

2 - Cookie-DOH!

Everyone in the kitchen hides for Dane’s cooking something and when the oven gets open, a piece of cookie dough voice by Alexa Losey can’t wait to get in, and explains how she wants people to eat her, and the scenarios she often thought about. 

I relate to her with having big expectations and feeling very upset when none of them come true, and reality is a b-word with us. It’s a feeling we all got to deal with and maybe still have to. I call this one a relatable character and this episode a great one on my list.

Before taking a stab at our number one here are some Honorable Mentions:

Best Fiends Forever

Grapefruit moves into the kitchen and Orange and everyone else can’t even. And also a different side of one of our favorite foods.

The Leprechaun Trap

A clever parody of advertising, as you probably seen in SNL multiple times, and on many Youtube viral videos.

Bacon Invaders

Just having Harley from Epic Meal Time means we’re off to a great episode!

Annoying Marshmallow

Unlike Annoying Pear, I really like Marshmallow doing Orange’s job, and actually making everything great and enjoyable for everyone. Really, Marshie, you are the best!

The Land Beyond the Kitchen

A train ride to the title’s world and the promise of the best adventures ever.

1 - Magnet Madness

This is another on my replay book. Orange and his friends are witnesses of a situation between the fridge’s magnets, two of them voiced by Ross Everett and Eric Scwartz, later the voice of the Gaming Grape. I love bullying-dealing episodes of any media, and this one has great comedy, born from the simplest parts.

Yeah, Orange and the others are mostly aside, but they still are a part of that whole thing. This is a very funny, very good written, very interesting Annoying Orange episode. It might not be for some people, but any episode that shows a great way to deal with a bully is a fine one for me.

Do you agree with the list? What is your favorite Annoying Orange video?

[monstergirlstink]

Which animal crossing characters have the best girl stink?

Ooh this is a fun one. I mean first and foremost I gotta give it up for my girl Izzy

She's definitely rocking a cute little furry sheathe under that dress and it gets so fucking humid in that little island office with nothing but a fan to cool her down? You know she's fuming under that desk and is way too busy to properly clean herself out down there. I want a full time position under her desk slurping the scum out of her sheathe and sucking the stink off her puppernuts. She’s got so much pent up stress and I wanna slurp all of it off of her at the end of a long work day.

Sable Able's in a similar situation where she’s working super hard and never leaving her little sewing table so her fat balls are just marinating in their own stink. She’s so busy she might not even notice you while you’re guzzling her girlstink but she’s polite enough to thank you after she busts a fat load down your gullet. Over and over again. Maybe if you do a good job she might let her sister get involved (both of them!)

Gracie gives me huge “Old Gay” energy, like she’s got that air of sophistication that comes with a long life of destabilizing the establishment with her world-changing fashion designs. That means that she’s seen it all and yet she still can’t help but laugh when she sees your eyes go wide at the sight and smell of her long lady schlong when she frees it from those musty nylons. Make no mistake, all the perfume in the world can’t hide her strong, mature girlstink that’s been aged to perfection. You’ll never forget the feeling when she finishes on your face and calls you a good girl.

BONUS ROUND: VILLAGERS

People have been coming around on Hazel lately and I’m GLAD. She’s a top tier design from her cute buck teeth to her beautiful blush stickers, and I have nothing but respect for a girl who can rock those WOW BROWS. Plus I mean it might be a little obvious but a spunky little squirrel like her deserves some PHAT NUTS that are just sopping wet and waiting for a cute face to drape over. That track suit means she’s out there SWEATIN, and once you’re done sucking the steam off her sack she’s got a pair of pits that need desperate attention.

Tangy has a fat pair of naranjas and fuck anyone who says otherwise. I bet she could cum for hours with those overripe fruits dangling between her legs, and no doubt she’s got a hot steamy stream of tangy juice for anyone depraved enough to kneel down and let her loose that golden sunshine all over their face. She lives up to her name with some tart and tangy girlsmell that gets your mouth watering every time. She’s the best part of waking up.

Some people might not like Truffles. Those people are idiots. This pudgy porker has a chubby chode to match the rest of her body and you can bet her spunk slinger doesn’t stop at one or two fat loads sprayed all over your face. Plus the most important thing is that she’s more than eager to reciprocate all your hungry sniffing. That fat snorfer of hers is made to suck down girlsmell and while you’re getting drunk on her sweaty pork perfume she’ll be doing the same, snorting herself till she’s spunking on your face from the smell alone. She’s a girl who both loves AND supplies girlstink.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

"Making Him The Exception." Machete Sam X AFAB! Reader.

Okay! So! I love the movie Club Dread. It is this silly horror comedy that is kinda parodying slasher movies, and we watched it in the Boiler Lounge the other week and everyone was looking at Sam being like, “Why he kindaaaa-” and I joked about writing him a fic, and so, here it is! This is very much in the same vein of that fic I did for Steve The Kayak King. I don’t wanna fuck Sam personally but I love, love, love doing a fun silly joke fic on occasion! So let's get into this, I had so much fun doing it and I hope you like the ridiculousness. 

—

Rating. NSFW, Length. 3.2K. Machete Sam X AFAB! Reader. Warnings: Reckless Partying And Hook-up Culture. Jokes. Bantering. Teasing. Alcohol Consumption. Friends With Benefits. Sexually Forward Reader.

—

You were enjoying vacation on Coconut Pete’s Pleasure Island massively. Stupid games, hanging by the pool or on the beach, more food and more drink than any one college student could or should, reasonably consume. You met lots of great people on your trip too, you had no shortage of people to talk to, you found yourself talking with just about anybody.

First breakfast with a group of college kids from Tampa on spring break who were on the same soccer team. Next, then you could have lunch on the sand with some tourists from Europe who were weirdly into Pete’s music and saved up to come to his island getaway resort together, their suitcases half full of his entire discography on vinyl that they found in thrift shops across the pond. Last you then did dinner from the buffet with this couple who were on again off again, on while on vacation together, off when at their respective schools, the distance too much while the semesters happen so they simply break up until the next time they can be together in the same space for a reasonable amount of time. Weird but they seemed to really live it up when together at least. 

You however, were very glad you came here alone, able to just have time for you, soak up the tropical atmosphere and party hardy to your contentment. You normally worry a lot about other people, this trip was about being selfish, indulging yourself and what you want completely, no whim was ignored, no craving left unsatiated. 

Something that you hadn’t counted on was how friendly, helpful and damn fun the staff at this resort was, they were very involved and clearly good at what they did. You took some tennis lessons from Putman, did a cliff diving session with Juan, but the one person you kept running into was Sam, resident fun police, his entire job was to ensure people were having a good time. He clearly loved his work, an almost permanent smile on his face, playful demeanour and a mischievous look in his eyes, always flitting about, encouraging people to get into games, get out of their shells, talk to people, pairing couples up or to take a shot. He had a really positive excitable energy that was infectious. 

It took a while into your stay for you two to become properly introduced, mostly due to the fact you were already constantly out and about having fun, no need for him to step in. The night you first had a conversation it was in the dance club. You were catching your breath after a bout of dancing, leaning against the bar and he came up, gesturing to Lars with one hand, the other holding up his comically large water gun, “I need a refill.”

“You got it!” Came the call in response and then a bottle of tequila was thrust into his open and outstretched palm. You watched as the cap on the back tank of the gun was spun open, the lid on the bottle flicked off and then as he upended it to fill the toy meant for summer fun with 40%, silver, grade A, bad decision juice. Your eyebrows raised and you asked for the thumping beat of the techno-dancey music, “You’re putting tequila in that?”

His gaze flicked over to you, grin widening as he responded like it was obvious, he spoke loudly as he responded, “Yeah!”

“Why?” You ask and he shrugs, “Can you think of a more fun way to take a shot?”

You hum in consideration and offer up, "Jello shots?"

He scoffs as if offended, "Jello shots are the peak vehicle of alcoholic consumption and fun to you? What are we in? Seventh grade?"

He finished filling the gun up and gestured with it, "Vodka laden gelatin in disposable plastic tops this?"

The vigorous action of him pumping the gun to ready it to shoot makes you stifle a giggle, you say, “I dunno! I’ve never taken a shot via squirt gun before!”

There is that look again, pure mischief, he holds the gun up, braced against his shoulder, pointing it directly at you, he asks, “Do you want to?”

A laugh breaks out, you push off the bar turning to face him and put your hands on your hips, “Are you challenging me?”

He laughs too, throwing on a goofy country southern drawl that matches the cowboy hat he was sporting perfectly, he says, “Sure am partner.”

You continue the bit, “You positive you can make a shot like this?”

“Fastest fingers this side of the e-qau-tor.” He stretched out “equator” with his accent and you laugh harder, “Well shoot, gimmie all you got.”

Arms out and mouth open, you close your eyes and he takes the aforementioned shot, a long, honestly too long, stream of tequila right between your lips. The taste was so strong, the force of it more powerful than you anticipated, it burned, you almost gag, it overflows your mouth but you get a few swallows full before he stops. Your eyes crack back open, hand swipes over your chin, mopping up some of the alcohol. Your outfit feels more damp now and it isn't from the sweat you worked up on the dance floor, you are sure you reek of tequila, you take a deep breath and only sputter and cough once, an action he deems, "Impressive!" 

The thumbs up he gives puts the smile back on your face and he asks, "So? What's the verdict?"

"Fun! Very fucking fun. Better than a jello shot." You admitted, it was certainly more memorable if nothing else and he beams, "Told you!"

He did. Someone called out, "Hey Sammy! Hit me!" 

He turned when hearing the call, he pointed at them, "I'm coming for you!"

A look over his shoulder with an adjustment of that same ridiculous cowboy hat, "Duty calls. See you round-"

You fill in the blank, give him your name, he thanks you and then with a wave and you say, "See you later."

Off he goes, water gun at the ready, you turn back to the bar to order a palette cleanser to chase down the burn of the tequila and you hear the high pitched half scream from the other patron getting their fair share shot down their throat and Sam’s loud laughter. He’s a cool and funny guy, definitely worthy of the name of fun police you have decided. 

The next time you see Sam is when he is hosting a Luau night on the beach. You hear his voice behind you asking, “Cocktail?” 

You turn with a smile and are greeted with the sight of Sam clad in a button up tropical themed short sleeved shirt and a grass skirt over cargo shorts, a coconut bra thrown over top the shirt and a ludicrously large hat made out of woven dried grass you couldn’t help almost choking on your laughter. He was holding a tray that was filled with cocktails in halved pineapples, bright multi-coloured umbrellas sticking out along with crazy straws and those little plastic swords stuck with fruit. 

“Uh yeah sure.” You answer around another laugh as you reach out and pluck up one of the drinks and he asks, “What’s the matter?” 

One hand is on his waist, the other holding up the tray he cocks out his hip, the pose makes the laughter worse and you manage to get out, “Your outfit is killing me man.”

“What? You don’t like it?” He asks in a higher tone that only further adds to the comedy, both hands on the tray he sways back and forth before fully twirling showing off the movement of the skirt. 

“No, I like it a lot! It is very on brand.”

“And what is my brand?” He asks and you say with a nod, “Fun! It’s in your job title and everything right?”

“You got me there. Glad I am living up to my potential!” He concedes and you finally take a sip of your drink and holy shit it is really good, fruity and strong but not in an off putting way. You pull it back from your face and ask, “Wow! This is delicious, did you make it yourself?”

“I did! My own recipe believe it or not, sometimes fucking around behind the bar pays off.” He seemed to appreciate the compliment. “Well keep it up, you’re making it hard for me to want a drink made by anyone else.”

“Then don’t, come bug me whenever you are thirsty.” 

You take him up on the offer and thus you and Sam end up talking and spending way more time together. More conversations happen and one day, when he is on duty at the swim up bar at the pool, you were in your bathing suit, sitting on one of the stools that was in the water and chatting, “Hey Sammy?”

“Mmm?” He hums in acknowledgment, eyes flicking up briefly from his task of cutting up lemon wedges. 

“You like your job?” You ask, the curly straw sitting in your tiki mug resting on your lips. He smiles and says, “Yeah! I love my job. I love working here, what I do, the island is my home. I’m really happy here.” 

“Good! I’m glad!” You say, honestly and he asks, “Why do you wanna know?”

You tell him, “Just been thinking lately about how you are always so concerned with everyone else having fun, I was wondering, who is ensuring that YOU are having fun.”

How fucking sweet was that. He pauses cutting, he wasn’t expecting you to say this but he is quick on his feet and he says, “I got it handled don’t worry, if I am in charge of fun for the whole island that means I am in charge of my fun too.”

You stick your tongue out, “Boo! Bullshit, you need someone who can take some of that weight off your shoulders. You already worry about everyone’s happiness too often.” Something you could relate far too much to.

“Cuz it’s my job!” He exclaims with a gesture of the knife in one hand and you pile on, leaning closer over the bar, “But you need someone to look after you!” 

“What do you suggest I do in this case?” He asks, maintaining eye contact he leans closer too and you say, “I should be your fun buddy! Let me be the person making sure you are having a good time.”

“Have you ever thought that ensuring everyone else’s good time IS my good time?” He says and you scoff, “Okay even if you do love your work it is still work. Stop deflecting. Yes or no?”

“Okay, okay I can admit that maybe the idea has some appeal. But, again I don’t think it is needed!” You cut him off, “It’ll improve my experience and make sure I have the most fun possible! How about that?”

That makes him stop. Well shit, a loophole. You got him. He gives in, “Okay, if it will help you have fun then it’s my job to listen.”

He reaches out, he takes your hand not holding the knife and asks sincerely, “Be my fun buddy while you are here on vacation?”

“Yes I will! You won’t regret it Sam!” You tell him excitedly and he laughs, his hand falling away, “You are right, I am sure I won’t.” 

Sam is always so busy, constantly throwing himself into his work and activities and seemingly having a blast while doing it, there wasn’t any real opportunity for you to step in and try to make him have fun, just as he said earlier, he seemingly had it covered. Still you were not convinced, a nagging thought that something was off. 

You were watching him as he took a bungee cord and hooked it around two people, forcing them to be pressed together, chest to chest on the dance floor. You watch the body language, the eye contact, flushing skin, tentative touch and greetings, all instigated by him, a built in meet cute thanks to him. Sam was so good at that, you would see him set up people and consistently after he introduced them and put them in some situation where they had to talk, play a game or get to know each other? You’d see them hanging out long after whatever scenario he forced them into, you wondered just how many people have fucked on vacation here solely because of him. 

That’s it!

Hitting all at once you realise that Sam is always pairing up other people but you had never seen him with anyone. You’d see literally every other staff member hooking up with people, multiple people at once in some cases, whether fellow staff or guests but never Sam. You hadn’t hooked up with anyone yet yourself and that is the one thing you would say was missing from this vacation, this is how you could help him out. Besides, what is more fun than casual sex?

You made your move when he was in between tasks the following day, you caught him after doing the morning exercise salute and before breakfast was being served. You tapped on his shoulder after you caught up, “Heya Sammy!”

His head turned and he caught sight of you and said, “Oh! Hey! You having a good day so far?”

“It’s barely started Sam but so far? Yeah, I’m feeling good.” You admit with a shrug, you and he were walking and talking now. 

“I bet, you slept in, right? I missed you at the crab walk.” He teased and you said, “Went for an early swim, I still got some moving in, don’t worry.”

“Good! Being active is important, you know?” A good enough segue. “I couldn’t agree more, being active is important so I wanted to ask. How sexually active are you?”

That made him stop in his tracks. You stop too. He looked confused and then asked slowly, “I’m…I’m sorry?”

“I asked how sexually active are you?” 

“I. I don’t know how to respond, where is this coming from?” He asked and you started walking again, motioning for him to follow, “I was watching you the other day, thinking about it, being your designated fun buddy, and it seems you were right. You got a really good handle on having a lot of fun and a good time!”

“Uh-huhhh, but?” He starts and you cut in, “But, I noticed I never see you with anybody! Are you not hooking up with anyone? Are you like, against the idea of casual sex?”

“What? No! Not against it or anything I just-I get caught up in my work.” He started to defend himself and you cut him off, “Alright so I was right! You aren’t fucking anyone!”

“Christ! Not so fucking loud.” He looked around to make sure no one could overhear, visibly relaxing when he was sure no one had, “How do you think it would look if the fun police is too preoccupied getting everyone else laid to get any himself? It’s totally pathetic.” 

“So do you actually care about not getting any or just how it would look if other people knew?” You asked and he sighed, “I do care! I just get so wrapped up in everything else I don’t think of it often, alright?” 

“All your fellow staff members are getting it regularly so what is your excuse?”

His hands gesture as if it will hopefully make his point stronger, “Well I’m a lot better at my job than any of them so-”

“Really? Cuz I thought your job was all things fun? Isn’t no strings attached vacation fuck fests fun? Aren’t you supposed to lead by example?”

He stops again, a hand on your shoulder effectively stopping you too, “Where are you going with this? Did you stop me just to insult me for not getting any pussy or?”

“No! God, no! I stopped you to tell you that I have come up with a solution!” 

“Oh I am dying to hear this. Lay it out.” He insists and you say, “I’m suggesting as your fun buddy that you and I fuck.”

Jaw drops open slightly and brows knit together and he says, “What?”

“I said, we should fuck! It can be that totally casual fun, no risk or strings attached kind of fucking that this resort is known for.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asks and you say, “Seriously! I am gonna be going home in a week, so we can just let loose! I think it will be good for you.”

“From fun buddies to fuck buddies just like that-” He snaps his fingers for emphasis, “,huh? Just, turn it on and go?” 

“Exactly. I think it will wake up the ol libido, get you out of your slump and then you can fuck other guests after I leave cuz you will have the want to pursue, that craving and urge you will need to satisfy.” 

“Are you my or my dick’s fun buddy?” He asks and you laugh, “Both! Now c’mon, what do you say?”

“I say you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into this.” He says with a sigh, a hand running through his hair, he eyes you up and down before asking, “How do you know I would even be into such an arrangement?” 

“Sam. I have eyes. I’ve seen you staring when I’m in my bathing suit and I am sure you’ve seen me staring too.” Your eyes drop down before coming back up to meet his gaze, saying confidently, “Also you are embarrassingly hard in your cargo shorts right now during this conversation.” 

His eyes snap down too before he says with a nod, “Okay. Fair point.” 

“So! Good, glad we are in agreement, I’m going to get breakfast, I’ll meet up with you later and we can bang this out.” You clapped him on the shoulder and then stepped away with a grin, a wave over your shoulder as you walked towards the restaurant, “Try not to cream yourself thinking about me, alright? I want that load all for myself.”

He was left standing there dumbfounded. This was so much to deal with, you were so cool, he knew that, but you being so casual and confident, unbothered at the same time, concerned for him and so sexually forward, the mix of it is enough to make his head spin. How was he supposed to focus on work today?

As you walked towards getting some food you felt proud of yourself, excited for later on. You agree with the stance of fuck the police but you didn’t think you’d ever take it so literally, you wonder if he’d like that joke, he probably would roll his eyes and call it terrible but still laugh at it. As you are walking by the pool you glance down at the hot tub, the one where the glass sides of the jacuzzi show into the bar/nightclub area, visible from the dance floor and you know that is where it’s gotta happen. You can’t wait to show him just how long you can hold your breath underwater. 

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews By Nesha || The Purge Franchise

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to my experience with my Purge marathon this month, for October purposes. We could glide by the first one, since there is literally one Black woman in it and she’s there for like, a few minutes, or whatever. BUT. Since there were prominent Black female characters elsewhere in the franchise, I decided to just put all of my thoughts into one long post. (Only covered the movies 1-3, because that’s all I watched)

This essentially started whenever I saw this post that asked for POC thoughts on the representation in The Purge. I was already considering reviewing it, but that pretty much was like my little push. Then, I was in the comments or whatever, and just don’t think that I had the time at the moment to really state my thoughts in a comments section, particularly while I was only two movies in. Basically, long story short, if there is ever a story about POC, especially in stories where injustice is a major plot point - if there are characters of color, there need to be writers of color. If there are characters of color and no writers of color... Just know that them white people fucked it up. Sometimes it’s okay, because sometimes, they got a friend of color or something and have watched a few documentaries. Lol. Idk if this man who wrote this franchise know any Black people outside of work. 🤷🏾‍♀️

And the usual disclaimer, since we back OUTSIDE! You say you outside but you ain’t that outside. I’m outside of my fandoms in this department, and these things tend to bring the fandoms to me because I stepped foot in their things. Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now. If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

The Purge

I initially watched this movie whenever it first was out (more like whenever it was out of the theaters, so not at the very beginning of it’s existence, but pretty dang close). I watched it at my older sister’s house. I wasn’t interested in it. Whenever I heard the premise, I thought it sounded pretty dope, but then I saw Ethan Hawke, and so I was willing to pass. One thing I’ma do is pass on an Ethan Hawke movie without a second thought. So. I didn’t plan on watching it, but my sister put it on at her home one night and that’s her TV, so I wound up seeing the thing.

Wasn’t impressed with the movie, overall. It came out at a time where I was very invested and involved in Black activism and the movie read like someone who had read a few white liberal articles on politics and then made a lil’ movie about the horrors. It felt extremely tone deaf in some areas, and like the point it was trying to make was not being properly communicated. 

BUT THEN, I noted that many of the white people I knew personally felt very into it and I decided, “Oh, okay. It was meant for them. It was to communicate things that we already know to these people who have often always been able to live without having to know or think about these things. I’m including this interaction with someone in the fandom, on the post linked above, to clarify:

So. To me, this family read as conservative. They could be moderates. I definitely could see it. They put their flowers out to show that they support the purge, but then whenever it comes down to it, they don’t actually have it in them to support it in full. But. I feel like there are so many conservatives like this as well. 

I’m from Texas. Southeast Texas, to be exact. Right by the Gulf of Mexico, right by Louisiana. I have hella conservatives surrounding me who were “nice” people. They love their families, however that looked, and didn’t actually go out to klan rallies or anything, but they support law enforcement and make excuses for these “great institutions” in our nation, and in Texas. Now... They wouldn’t be likely to actually shoot me down dead without a second thought like the police would, but they would support the police force, despite them doing such things. This is how the main family reads, to me. 

The writer though? Felt like someone on the other side. The ones who will gladly raise awareness to help the less fortunate, but if they had to do even a step more than that, they would not have the energy. The story read like a person - who puts BLM in their profile, but doesn’t really even know any Black people, much less help them - telling a story about how maybe, under the right (or very wrong) circumstances, their white counterparts could see the light about humanity. 

I was glad to see that brotha survive, but beyond that, this was not a movie for me or mine. It isn’t a movie that outside of this marathon I will watch again either. Now, the second one, to me, was more empathetic.  It was like if the writer heard feedback and decided to clarify and expound on what message the story was giving, and opened up a doorway to a broader audience.

The Purge: Anarchy

We followed characters around who knew what was up and were just trying to do their best. Instead of following people who were part of the problem like we did in the first movie, we followed people who were more likely to be affected by those in power who were the problem. They even went so far as to cast leads who are biracial Black women as part of the ensemble that we take this journey with. 

Yes, like the first one, they’re still shown as targets of the problem, but they also are shown as survivors too, and while there is still an undertone of white saviorism, as there also was in the first movie, it isn’t a cut and dry white savior story. It is a group of people who need help through an impossible life in an unfair world, and how each of them does their best, not only to live, but to look out for their loved ones, and eventually each other. It is really the type of story that I would have wanted from a world like this, and I would have wanted evidence that there were people who could somehow make the best of it all. 

Nobody don’t do that like Black people. One of our main identifiers is how we make lemonade out of lemons, so there was good visuals in who they selected to follow through this story and I thought the end was BEAUTIFUL. To see the brotha done not only survived last time, but he done started working to give power to the powerless? Loved that for him. Loved that Our Good Sis nem made sure to have the man’s back who had theirs in the beginning. It was a well told story for such a horrifying state of things.

The Purge: Election Year

I don’t know what happened here...

This movie was not good. At the end of the day, I think that they needed Black people, preferably ones who know about community work, politics, and such to assist them in trying to write these characters.

They gave you more POC in this story... They gave you more access to the ones standing up to the corrupt power system. But, then they sort of sullied it with this idea that to rise up is to be as bad as those who LITERALLY use their power to eradicate you and have the means and malice to do it. 

White liberal knucka strikes again with a heavy hand in false equivalencies of an organization that had to be created in order to help and protect the most vulnerable people in these disgusting times with actual white supremacists. The white supremacists were a seen, real, force trying to eliminate the one person who wanted to make changes, from a place of power.

Enter the White Savior Trope that they were flirting with last movie, and amplify that bitch. This movie was so damn annoying with the thought of this white woman being the only hope that the people had, when the brotha had been tearing through the Purge purists’ shit for years. (He finally got him a name this movie too). But, my point is. There is no better way for you to get me to roll my eyes and smack my teeth than to try to paint some white as the only hope, and in THIS particular story, it’s especially heinous, because there was already some hope in the niggas evening the field a little bit by exterminating some of the high profile people and hitting their fancy events.

What this movie did was that, and even worse, they shoved down my THROAT that these negros with guns were just as bad, and somebody in there had the audacity to have the main negro say at one point, “Now, I love Black people, but I’m not letting you shoot these good white folks. These our white folks” while those people were in the process of trying to thwart an operation that could eliminate one of the worst of the purge pushers who had ALREADY tried to kill them PERSONALLY! WHY??? WHO BUT SOME HONKEY OR SOME COON WOULD WRITE THAT AND BE SERIOUS??????????? 

HUGE. STEP. DOWN. From the trust that they built with me as a Black viewer in the previous movie. I thought perhaps that there might be another increase in awareness and quality, like there was between the first and second movies. There was not. Not for my Black ass. I didn’t even watch it in one sitting, and was ready to end my trek through the franchise. I was that irritated by the complete and utter audacity, in a universe like this, in a situation like this for THAT. What SHOULD have happened, if it wasn’t some white nonsense, was everybody shoulda told that white lady what the brotha was tryna tell her and get the white people to sit down and shut up and get out the way, because come 7:00, THEY were gonna fucking be safe again! EVEN IF this white bitch is the only fucking hope in this universe, what she was gon’ do? Wave a wand and make it so? 

These people were supposed to just wait for you to have the right pieces in order to possibly help them, when they KNOW FOR SURE, one of they problems can end, right now today, by blowing this dude brains out? GOOFY. This is goofy. This was the height of too white for me to personally enjoy. Especially because people who tend to say shit like, “Then, you’re no better than them” usually haven’t gone through nothing. This hoe went through the purge. Shit killed her whole family. She was almost assassinated TONIGHT, multiple times, and the minute. THE VERY MINUTE she realized that these people who HELPED HER were going after her opponent, her main focus was how SHE couldn’t win like that. BITCH, THIS IS THESE PEOPLE’S LIVES. FUCK YOUR WIN.

AND, WHO THE FUCK PUT THIS LADY IN CHARGE??? They already have an entire operation that they had to do with not one spec of help from the great white hope, and they have been doing there best and helping people. They have been about it, while she has spoken about it. And then suddenly, folk all gather to crowd and protect her and why is everybody in this movie priority to protect her? This is not my ministry. Hated it, for all of that. Some other POC might have liked it, oh no baby, not my Black ass. I was cussing all they asses out through them shenanigans. Fuckin’ up the church’s money.

“This is no longer an assassination. It’s a rescue mission.” IT COULD BE BOTH! UGH. HATE THIS GODDAMN BULLSHIT. “We can’t be like them.” YOUR LIFE LITERALLY IS NOT GOING TO BE SHIT TOMORROW, LADY, FUCK YOU! And she’s like... getting in his way as they’re tryna move out, talking through him through the door when he has this decision to make. Quite frankly, I think she’s a piece of shit specifically for getting in the way of this group killing that man. She’s just the “lesser of two evils,” who STILL does not have these people’s best interests at heart, and it is not clear if the writer knew this or actually believed in her policies. Judging from the way this story has always read as white liberal bullshit, I think it’s a writer issue, and not that her character is this way on purpose.

AND THEY KILL MY NIGGA! They gave us the optics of the main Black character getting gunned down by Nazis. And the one white hero whose entire mission this movie is to save the white woman is the one we get to see defeat the main Nazi. Who, as I said, had just killed the longest running Black character in the franchise, who only even got a name THIS movie, even though it’s his third appearance in the franchise. The other main negro jump in front of the white woman to give us the Sacrificial Negro Trope that I had a sneaky suspicion would occur in this movie. I just didn’t know which one they was gon’ do it too. But I knew. I felt it in my spirit that this was the type of writer who would employ that representation. Girl, fuck this movie. No lol. 

The first hour and a quarter are tolerable, then it just shits itself. I actually went to try to see if there was some shuckin’ & jivin’ ass nigga behind the scenes that for whatever made them think this was okay, but nope - white people were responsible, and it SHOWS. Powered through the last half hour on principle. Don’t know if I wanna continue. There are so many horrific things that I can watch that I will probably love out there.

Not only was this the worst movie in the franchise, but this is one of the worst movies that I have seen recently. I’d advise the Black people with interests similar to mine not to waste your time. I would punch this man in his face for writing this movie, if I could. Whew. Well, niggas and friends... idk if Auntie Nesha will be finishing this franchise, but even if I do, at MOST, I’d do a “Nesha Watches” and liveblog it. This shit got my equilibrium fucked up. 

[ksouul]

Today marks a year since I first met Erika. It poured today. In order to properly heal, you can’t focus on it. So I joins a free online college course on Understanding Plants. I’m in the very same room you texted me that it’s important to always be learning. How you told me to tell you what new thing I’ve learned later on in the day.

I dont think you’re a bad person. I’m also confused with how your mom never knew about what id told her but, I’m confused because it’s none of my business. It’s interesting the kind of reputation a person masks and morphs themselves into in front of you to hide the truth. Also have been avoiding my problems with

I’m just so focused on alchemizing what I’m focusing on that this phase of my life doesn’t feel necessary to dwell into my feelings or observe and oscillate in my experiences as i usually do. I’ve been doing that in the last 3 and a half years. Who I allowed myself to become in my love for someone I perceived as my soulmate turned me into a monster I want no part of for the rest of my life. I only have one. Talk about afterlife or multiverses but in this life, my one life that I am most certain of, I will create the most of it.

I can go through certain phases long enough until I hate it and that’s just how i’m wired. I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Sometimes I can be tolerable and sometimes that isn’t what’s needed. My focus is shifting to choosing a different dialogue. To flowing with the nature of time and what’s being offered to me at this moment and utilizing all the tools I have available to me despite time.

I miss you. If we are binary stars, I can’t wait to hear and feel what you have to say about the things I’m learning. Are you watching? Have you ever left? I hope you made it safely to the other side love. What would you say? What would our friendship be like and would we be in love? How many times would we have walked the bridge together and how much would you have helped me to tackle the material things I still have yet to learn? How much would I know about you and what would it be that my body holds memory of you? I wish you were still here I wish you never left. I wish I had spent more time giving you my attention when I had yours. Have I learned all it is the universe has tried to teach me with this happening? Was it a butterfly effect, were you meant to actually go? What more do I have to learn and know about you leaving this way? About your chapter in my life? So many questions and not enough energy or desire to figure it out. But I pray the Lord knows I’m holding out open space for it to be revealed to me in my abounded grace. To be another day a part of humanity in which I have not yet found peace in leaving yet. I wanna live to see the revolution in my very open eyes and am I wrong for wishing you had enough to wait too? You’re at peace with everything that’s happened you say so maybe that doesn’t involve what you know of in this wretched world. I wish just one more time I could hold you and talk to you. I just wanna talk to you.

[krpgossipgirl]

Some of you guys seriously lack critical thinking skills and it's actually concerning. The whole thing about the paradigm admins and members being racist was blown way out of proportion. Mind you, this is something that happened way back in January too, so don't act like we don't know who the anons behind those submissions are. As someone who wasn't part of the conversation but has witnessed this go down first-hand, I'm genuinely confused as to what the problem here is. "A group of writers" complains to the admins about a conversation that made them uncomfortable > The admins immediately reach out to everybody involved in private to get each side of the story as they were not present when this happened > They clear the situation/misunderstanding so, logically? There's nothing left for the admins to do. The only reason this blew up is that the writers were probably upset with the fact that there was no public execution of the people accused. My question is: what do you care about how people run THEIR roleplays. And how does someone speaking up about their personal experience as a person of color make them an admin; I fail to understand the connection. Likewise, it does not make sense to stamp the accused people off as admin besties just because none of them got beheaded. I love how we are out here making all of these assumptions when (1) none of the "group of writers" were present when this conversation happened (2) they seemingly don't even know the muns. Like has it ever crossed your mind that the muns themselves could be people of color? Not that they'd have to, I don't know, send you their personal IDs or something to verify that. And if you were present, you would have known that the conversation was not about race, but about men's entitlement towards women. This was not about race as voiced out by more than one person. Despite the mess that was created and left for the admins to clean up by the very group of writers who then left, the admins did their very best to handle the situation as best and transparently as possible. You're not content with how someone runs their roleplay? Leave. It's that simple. Roleplay is supposed to be fun; don't ruin this for everybody else just because YOU don't agree with a particular sentiment. This is a place where muns and muses are supposedly above the age of 19, but the behavior speaks otherwise. Admins don't invest so much time and energy into their roleplays for people to bash them for every inconvenience. Mind you, some of which are way out of their control. You lot fail to realize that admins are real people with real lives. Managing roleplays does not equal signing up for a babysitter job. P.S to whoever said that black people are not allowed to join in on conversations that concern fellow people of color? If you wanna paraphrase, at least do it properly. Made yourself look really fucking stupid with that statement and the new set of screenshots that were provided just proved that. Not sure how you understood "a black women living in fear of [real] racism" as "get out of here, sincerely as a black person, i've experienced true racism and ur opinion is invalid" because that does not translate to black people having more rights to talk about (any) race, nor does that statement say only black people experience racism. If anything your ignorance is incredibly painful to even take apart, but sure. Paradigm's got it bad. Anyway, stay freaky.

[hollyhomburg]

(Vent post) What I’m really tired of right now is my mom making choices about her life style and then expecting me to just? Compensate for the time and effort involved? She has all these things about being environmentally conscious when they’re really just...not, because she wants to feel like a good person

Like I hate using the wood burning stove to heat our house when we have perfectly good electric heating- it makes a ton of mess, litterally our house is just so filthy because she doesn’t take her shoes off and Its gotten to the point where I just refuse to clean. I wear slippers in the house and take them off in the doorway of my room so that my space stays as clean as possible but Most of the dirt gets tracked up from the downstairs and from the fire, the dust and stuff too- and It takes a lot of time and constant tending to keep the house warm, I can feel it in my lungs too.

I end up getting it lit in the morning because she doesn’t have time too, I also bring in all the wood from outside which takes like hours each week and she’s always getting on me for not stacking it or not bringing enough in for it to dry properly- all of which is extra work that I don’t have the energy for. And in her mind she’s “sticking it to the oil and gas companies” but it’s me doing the labour for it and I’m so, fucking, tired.

I want to be able to switch the heat on like everyone else without being bitched at that it’s too expensive, if she has enough money to pay 80 for an gram of weed once a week we’ve got enough to heat our fucking house. She has no right to make me feel guilty.

There are countless other things I handle for her because she wants things to be a certain way, the chickens which I do 90% of the work for, the laundry which she has this like- vendetta about not putting on the drier because it’s “bad for the environment” even though we specifically got a high efficiency washer drier that litterally uses as much energy as charging your laptop and only uses like 1/3 the amount of water- and like- well that’s fine if she wants to put the effort into hanging out her clothes and waiting 2-3 days for them to dry in our musty ass house but I’m going to dry my clothes and reclaim my time.

My point is I do so much work around the house, so so so much work to appease her when there is an easier way to do things, and she guilt trips me every step of the way. I try to throw out rotten food and she takes it out of the garbage because “we can compost it” well then deal with it or get it off the counter, I could go on and on

and I get that I live here- but I am her child- she chose to create me and honestly I would have chosen not to exist if I’d been given the choice but I’m not her partner, and I feel like she’s kinda forcing me into that roll both emotionally and otherwise.

Tonight I kinda got snippy with her because she was like “do you wanna to clean the kitchen or do the fire” and I was like “well neither where my choice and I didn’t eat the food so I’m going to bed” and she got all upset with me but like look, it’s unfair of her to expect me to compensate for her ideals, I will compensate for her needs, but not if those are the needs of her ego.

[shijiujun]

[END 2020] My Top 9 Danmei Novel Picks of the Year

As a part of my Round Up post for the year, here’s my pick of favourite danmei novels, that I’ve read! This is sort of an accompaniment to my previous danmei rec list over HERE, so there may be one or two overlaps, but I’ve read WAY MORE after that and am prepared to like give more options here 

Note: There should be English translations for all via novel updates if you do a search of the English name, but I don’t think most of them are completed.

If you wanna see my full reading and queue list (it’s all in Chinese tho, for my own records), it’s here.

I’m leaving out the usual MXTX and Priest ones, because they’re already good and we all know that and there’re many carrds and posts dedicated to them.

I am also a sucker for fainting but smart men, and not too overly angsty/complicated storylines, just putting it out there first, which is why I haven’t read a lot of some of the ones on my queue list.

-------

1. 一剑霜寒 | A Sword of Frost by 语笑阑珊

Summary: Jing Yan Ran is the Emperor’s brother and wields military power in the novel, and it starts with an object being stolen from the palace. Jing Yan Ran has to retrieve the item secretly, and so enlists the help of Feng Yu Sect’s Sect Master, Yun Yi Feng, who heads the martial arts world’s one and only information trading post. Yun Yi Feng does not deal in business that involves any royalty, but Jing Yan Ran offers him something he cannot refuse - the Blood Red Lingzhi, a rare and mystical herb that is rumoured to be able to treat his life-threatening condition. 

Yun Yi Feng was used by his shifu when he was younger to test out all kinds of poisons and cures, and since then, his body flushes dangerously hot and cold frequently, with bouts of severe coughing fits in between. Throughout the first mission where he spends time with Jing Yan Ran searching for the stolen object, he allows Jing Yan Ran to take care of him, and they fall in LURVE pretty much like 10 chapters in.

Of course, they have to uncover a plot and conspiracy against their enemies who are plotting to dethrone the Emperor, and also reveal the secrets of Yun Yi Feng’s birth.

My Thoughts: AN ABSOLUTE FAVE AND GEM, I’d say this is my favourite danmei novel ever. This is both hilarious and tears-inducing, to be honest, because for most of the novel YYF knows he doesn’t have long to live and so in the beginning he knows of his own feelings for JYR and JYR also shows him that he loves him, but he is unable to officially reciprocate because he knows his body is like weakening day by day. Halfway through the fear that he’s literally about to die as they are JUST about to find the cure is real, and damn I cried so much at that. Some highlights:

YYF falls asleep very easily in baths and everywhere actually, and pretty much within the first 10 chapters he gets used to JYR carrying him around (even naked from the bath, he’s like oh well, okay cool) and taking care of him, and JYR ALWAYS makes sure he is warm and toasty under his cape

YYF LOVESSSS RICHES, PLAYING THE ZITHER AND COOKING - He’s good at gathering the first one, but he FUCKING SUCKS AS THE LAST TWO - It’s so funny because he’s so beautiful and handsome right, and when he sits down at the zither everyone is like OH DAMN WHAT A DREAM- and then he plays, and everyone’s fantasies is shattered, he’s ABYSMAL at it, and the same goes for cooking

JYR doesn’t actually have the Blood Red Lingzhi, and throughout the first arc, he feels SO DAMN GUILTY because YYF even carved out a pendant that looks like what he thinks the herb looks like, and like carries it with him everywhere LMAO

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

2. 高能二维码 | High Energy QR Code by 青色羽翼

Summary: CEO Xing Ye’s brother Xing Shuo has just passed away at the age of 24, and nothing will make him believe that Xing Shuo died of natural causes despite autopsies and experts telling him that he really died simply of a heart failure. Xing Ye, who has impeccable memory, suddenly recalls the last time he saw Xing Shuo. His brother called out to him just before Xing Ye left for a business trip, and looked as if he had something to say, but ended up just wishing him a safe trip.

At that moment, there was a QR code on Xing Shuo’s phone, and the phone screen was strangely turned out towards Xing Ye, and Xing Ye, with his incredibly high IQ and memory, realizes that Xing Shuo wanted him to see the QR code. Quickly, he reproduces the QR code by pen and then scans it, and finds himself in a game world.

There he meets a narcissistic but also cute mirror which can speak, and finds out later that his name is Lu Ming Ze. Xing Ye’s mission is to clear the game missions in each round that is set by the black and white cubic game system, a system that continuously tempts its players into giving in to committing sins such as killing someone else, stealing and other things. He soon realizes that if he cannot stay on a path clear of these sins, he will never be able to triumph over the game system and return Lu Ming Ze back to his body in the real world. 

At the same time, he gains new teammates and friends for life, and also finds out what role his brother played in this game. 

My Thoughts: MY GOD I LOVE THIS. I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED READING THIS YESTERDAY, and honestly it’s one of my faves. I don’t like game systems very often (I’ve read three others so far, and this, and KOD are the only ones I’ve liked) but this one is *chef’s kiss*. So LMZ was born like with a really handsome face, like SUPER HANDSOME, and that’s why he’s like a harmless narcissist that cannot bear to look at ugly things LMAO, but he’s not spoilt, he makes sure that Xing Ye stays true to himself, and help him keep his head clear. 

THE ONLY THING ABOUT THIS FRICKIN NOVEL IS THAT LU MING ZE STAYS A MIRROR, LIKE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MIRRORS, in the first TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS. I KID YOU NOT. I FRICKIN KID YOU NOT. I swear I was sooo touched starved at the end of the novel, because they couldn’t even kiss?!! Like Xing Ye kisses the mirror, and then uses his thumbs to like hi-five mini LMZ in the mirror back, they can’t even hug. Do you know how empty my arms felt when I read this book?!! And my arms have never been filled!!!!!!

I really like this one because each game world is set up in such a brilliant way, but it’s not so unnecessarily complex that you literally don’t know what the fuck is going on. Xing Ye’s intelligence as he outmanoeuvres every single one of his enemies and convinces his would-be loyal teammates to trust him is so satisfying, world after world, victory after victory.

Humour is also absolutely ON POINT. A lot of it is centred on Xing Ye getting caught in the real world kissing his handheld mirror (LMZ) by LMZ’s parents (who cannot see him in the mirror) and LMZ’s parents going like ???!!!!!!!! 

Available: Novel Online | Physical Novel is coming out on 10 Dec (freebies are, you guessed it, a mirror)

3. 妻为上 | The Wife is First by 绿野千鹤

Summary: This is set in a historical setting where men can marry other men, but it’s usually reserved for sons who were not borne by the official main first wife of the patriarch of the family, i.e. a son born by a concubine in a family may be forced to marry a man to keep him from being able to become the next family’s patriarch for example. This is because any family’s next leader needs to be able to have children with a wife who married in as a zheng shi (lawful wife), and not a ce shi (second wife) or any other concubines/mistresses etc. Most of these men who marry other men have to take them as their zheng shi and lawful spouse in a sense, and the same goes for the royal family.

The story starts with third prince Jing Shao, who was forced to marry Mu Han Zhang, a Marquis’ second son, by the Empress and Emperor, thereby officially and effectively cutting him out of the race for the throne. He’s mocked by the public as everyone knows what this means, and for the next 10 years, he neglects Mu Han Zhang, blaming him for his predicament, and deliberately showers his three other concubines with affection in front of him, but 10 years later, when Jing Shao is accused of treason, everyone leaves him except for Mu Han Zhang. They are chased to the edge of the cliff by soldiers, and Mu Han Zhang dies in his arms having taken an arrow meant for him earlier, and Jing Shao jumps off the cliff with his dead body, and promises that if there’s a next life, he will do everything Han Zhang says, and love him.

He wakes up immediately on the night of his marriage with Han Zhang, and realizes that he’s been given a second chance to make everything right. Han Zhang is definitely afraid of him, humiliated and angry when he first wakes up after how rough Jing Shao was with him earlier on their wedding night, and he has no memories of their past life. Jing Shao then sets to SHOWER HAN ZHANG with affection, love and basically everything, because he realized that this is the only person who stayed by his side until the end, and then he falls in love with Han Zhang properly this time, and also deals with every single person who maligned and schemed against him in his previous life, with Han Zhang by his side.

My Thoughts: OKAY BEFORE YALL GO INTO THE ‘WIFE’ terminology discourse and everything, in this case they do use the term ‘wife’ literally, and it’s a position, that while men frequently fall into (there are a lot of male ‘wives’ in this story), is also used to cut off like sons from inheriting the family and the fortune, and even titles. Male ‘wives’ aren’t looked down upon in this setting, in fact, Han Zhang gets a lot of leeway as one, and in his case he was also able to rise up the ranks to be an actual official later on, but the sad thing comes from sons who are most of the time forced to marry a male ‘wife’ for whatever reason, and then they are neglected as the son goes and find concubines, women he actually wants to sleep with - this is sad af yall. I don’t know, on one hand, yay for equality in marriage in this setting, but on the other hand like, damn, must you use same-sex marriage like that argh.

ANYWAY THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVES TOO?!!! I mean, especially when Jing Shao literally just goes into doting mode 200% and Han Zhang is totally like wtf why is he so nice to me is he scheming or something? And then he realizes that Jing Shao is really, really gentle towards him despite his reputation as a cruel, dark military commander, and Jing Shao always smiles at him. In any situation, especially in the beginning, when Han Zhang thought Jing Shao would not stand with him, Jing Shao literally just protects him no matter what, gives him everything, and cries, I love it. 

Especially because Han Zhang is the son of a concubine and he was bullied a lot in the Mu family, and the official Lady Mu married him off to Jing Shao in hopes that he would be unhappy for the rest of his life, and I suppose that came true in the first life, but in the second, Han Zhang gets all the love, respect and support he never got before in this family with Jing Shao and that makes me WEEP.

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Kuaikan

4. 死亡万花筒 Kaleidoscope of Death by 西子绪

OOOH I intro-ed KOD here in my previous rec list. Still one of my faves and all-time re-reads, especially under the covers in the dark hehehe.

5. 你的距离 | Your Distance by 公子优 

Summary: Ting Shuang is a student at a German university, and has this handsome professor Bai Chang Yi who he swears kind of hates him. He’s just broken up with his longtime boyfriend, and then goes on this dating app that matches a profile with him based on distance. The app can also show the matched profile’s distance from him once they enter the same area, and Ting Shuang starts chatting with this Chinese guy on the app, who he finds out later, is 36 years old, 187cm in height and wears glasses. 

The guy is a little aloof and cool, very mature in his replies on the app, and somehow Bai Chang Yi finds out who he is later, as Ting Shuang starts complaining to him about his professor to Bai Chang Yi. Instead of getting angry and offended, BCY is pretty much amused and finds Ting Shuang cute. A few days later Ting Shuang finally realizes who it is he’s been texting, and after getting past the initial embarrassment and fear, they start dating for real, and they really fall in love!!!!! 

My Thoughts: This is sweet and also hilarious af, if you need to like satisfy your sweet tooth, this is definitely one for you. It’s really funny because Bai Chang Yi runs in the same circles as Ting Shuang’s dad, who he’s estranged from because the dad doesn’t want to recognize a son who is gay, and then BCY convinces him later in the funniest of ways, and there’s a small subplot at the end in which Ting Shuang is pretty cool, and yep, short and sweet! BCY in the manhua is handsome af too guys ;-;

Available: Novel Online, Audio Drama on Maoer FM and Manhua on Bilibili, 

6. 神木挠不尽 The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post by 绿野千鹤

Summary: Mo Tian Liao, a weapons forger and master who ruled the Demon Tribe, was hunted down and killed by other righteous sects in the region when he managed to forge an incredibly destructive weapon that could end the world. Before he died, he placed the only thing he loved, a white cat, into a hole in the tree behind him to protect it. The only thing he was grateful for was that he did not create a blood pact with the cat, Xiao Mao, because if he had done so, when he died, Xiao Mao would have died along with him as well.

Right before he dies, unbeknownst to him, Xiao Mao who is no simple demonic cat, wraps part of his consciousness around Mo Tian Liao, and MTL’s spirit ends up floating about for 300 years, until he finds a suitable time to return with a body made out of a special tree and its wood. The first thing he does, of course, is to find his white cat, but he’s poor, and the body he has isn’t powerful, so he joins Wo Yun Sect, the only sect that did not hunt him down that day hundreds of years ago.

There, he is chosen by Qing Tong shizun to be his direct disciple, much to the astonishment of other shizuns in the sect, and Qing Tong’s shixiongs. MTL has never seen a person as beautiful and gorgeous as his shizun, and if only he could find that cat (who’s actually his shizun, who recognizes him and protects him, even if MTL doesn’t actually need much protection).

My Thoughts: This was hilarious as well, and so romantic?!!! Qing Tong/Xiao Mao waited for MTL to come back, and the moment he came back, Qing Tong was there ready to grab him, and then before he went to sleep that night, Qing Tong thought to himself, “I’ve gotten my person back, I can sleep well now” and AHHHHH at this point they weren’t even like a couple yet? MTL ‘kidnapped’ Qing Tong when he was a young demon cat by accident because he likes pretty things (like his shizun lmao) and Qing Tong is attached to him because MTL never forced a blood pact on him, and gave him everything he wanted as a younger cat before MTL died. Gosh, a mirror in #2 and then a cat now with this one. XD

Available: Novel Online

7. 破云 | Breaking the Clouds by 淮上

Summary: Three years ago, Captain Jiang Ting and his team of the Narcotics division perished in an explosion due to a wrong call of his, and he returns three years later under a new identity ready to deal with the people who set him and his team up. He’s caught in what seems to be a simple murder case almost immediately and meets Yan Xie, who’s Vice Captain and in charge of this case. Yan Xie realizes who Jiang Ting is shortly after, and begins to unravel the huge mystery surrounding the events of three years ago, and falls in love with Jiang Ting along the way as well.

My Thoughts: Okay out of the FOUR crime/detective/thriller danmei novels I’ve read, the poyun and tunhai (below) series is the one that MIRRORS actual narcotics division and undercovers the best. It has the complexity and depth of the drugs/narcotics world, and both this one and its sequel focuses a lot on the position of an undercover and mole. I liked this one a lot because there are SOOOO many twists especially in the last arc, like you honestly won’t see any of them coming until it hits you? And Yan Xie is such a confident, rich-ass narcissist, and he keeps asking Jiang Ting if he can “just touch” him ONCE lmao, he’s thick-skinned af, but that’s why he and Jiang Ting are so compatible ;-;.

Available: Novel Online, Novel Print, Audio Drama and Manhua on Bilibili

8. 吞海 | Swallowing the Sea by 淮上

Summary: Sequel to Po Yun. Yu Wu is a young-looking new detective under Captain Bu Chong Hua’s narcotics team. Bu Chong Hua is Yan Xie’s cousin by actual relation, but brother in relationship because BCH’s parents died early and Yan Xie’s parents have been taking care of him mostly. He cannot stand Yu Wu, who seems to want to coast through at work and keep to a 9-5 work schedule. 

It’s only after an altercation and Yu Wu dumping his nonchalant facade to snarl at BCH that he realizes that YW is actually more interesting and mysterious than he thought, and he begins to try to get close to him, understand him. It turns out that Yu Wu is a famous undercover who nearly died a year ago during an operation, and due to various reasons, he was assigned to BCH’s team by higher ups so he can peacefully live the rest of his life out there. However, his past catches up with him quickly, and his enemies turning up forces him to rely on BCH. 

With BCH, Yu Wu’s resentment of having to be an undercover in the past and being so easily discarded by his team’s leaders, and of him being forced to be in the shadows while others can announce their achievements to the world, is slowly erased, because BCH sees him, knows him, and understands him more than anyone else.

My Thoughts: I actually liked this one better than the first one - Yu Wu is such a pouty, angry little thing?! And for good reason (there’s a bit of cannibalism in the book, not by choice when he was younger and in a poor village in Cambodia, where some militants forced survivors in the village to eat the meat of boiled corpses of other villagers, so YW is a vegetarian, like if he eats meat he gets really sick) and the twists here are even more amazing?! BCH really, really, devotes himself to YW the moment he realizes how much he likes him, doing a 180 degree turn. Instead of Yan Xie’s flamboyance, BCH is much steadier, grouchy, like an old uncle, but also looks at things even more clearly than Yan Xie does sometimes. Yu Wu is understandably bitter about what he had to go through, and BCH is the ONLY person who can calm him down, whom he listens to, which I LOVE. Some highlights:

Yu Wu grew up in a poor village and thus loves money, and he fights in underground betting rings to earn more money - The stash of hidden money he collects I think is half for his escape money, but if he happens to never need it, his dream is to donate the money to his village so they can open up a school there - ANYWAY because Yan Xie’s parents, and technically BCH’s ‘parents’ are soooooo rich right, Yan Xie’s mom shows her approval to her son-in-laws (Jiang Ting first, then Yu Wu), by giving them winter pants. It’s kind of like inside warmers, and usually meant for older ladies to wear LOLOL so Yu Wu was like staring at the pants when he finally got them and looked soooo reluctant until Jiang Ting told him it costs $6,000 AND HE WAS LIKE :333333 okie

He acts a lot like a kid?!! He likes eating like some snack but it’s really unhealthy for him, and BCH the mother hen keeps catching him in weird places like the toilet, where he’s hiding from BCH so he can eat his fave snack?! And the whole police station knows not to give YW what he wants in terms of snacks and smokes because once BCH finds out, he makes life very difficult for them HAHAHAHA

9. 穿成反派如何活命 | How to Survive as A Villain by 伊依以翼

Summary: Rich and handsome CEO Xiao Yu An finds out he has a terminal illness (cancer), and dies while he’s reading this online novel, where a king mistreats the crown prince from a neighbouring state which sent him over as hostage after losing a war, and ends up being killed by the crown prince years later (SVSSS much?!). He wakes up AS THE KING, and afraid of dying, he immediately goes about befriending the prince, Yan He Qing. Yan He Qing falls in love with Xiao Yu An while being his friend/hostage/bodyguard, and Xiao Yu An tries to avoid all the deaths he read in the book, while making sure Yan He Qing manages to find his three/four wives, including Xiao Yu An’s sister.

Of course, because Xiao Yu An showed him warmth and kindness, Yan He Qing ends up falling for him instead, and Xiao Yu An is an absolute oblivious idiot because he REALLY doesn’t realize until much later. Yan He Qing ends up declaring war on Xiao Yu An’s kingdom because he is duty bound to do so, but doesn’t hurt Xiao Yu An, wanting to keep him by his side, but YHQ’s scheming uncle drives a wedge between them, and XYA leaves, breaking YHQ’s heart.

They meet again a few years later, where XYA is training to be a physician in a small village and chances upon a severely injured YHQ. There, he realizes that it was all a misunderstanding, and that YHQ actually LIKES, LIKES him, but before they can enjoy this short period of happiness, disaster strikes again.

My Thoughts: THIS WAS really enjoyable, and with the manhua visuals, it is *chef’s kiss*. I think this transmigration version actually delved into the part where XYA is unable to change everything, and if he saves one person, someone else is destined to die, and that moral dilemma devastates him a lot. In this novel he actually transmigrates TWICE, once into the king’s body, and the second time into a neighbouring state’s prince/king’s body, who looks exactly like his modern self after. YHQ is real sweet to him istg, and I like that the epilogues are SUPER EXTENSIVE, including an arc where YHQ and XYA transmigrate back to the real world and everyone who died is alive and close to them, and gets their happy ending ;-;

Available: Novel Online and Manhua on Bilibili

[2-cute-4-school]

𝘕𝘊𝘛 𝘋𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴

requested by the lovely @m4rshm4llow​ (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

Mark Lee

i think mark is quite good with children too when he’s not frozen in awkwardness

but i wouldn’t trust with him alone with a kid for too long tbh

like i see him as someone who could probably entertain a kid for a couple of hours succesfully but taking care of them?? yeah no (˵¯͒ བ¯͒˵)

so let’s say he had to tag along with you to babysit because he didn’t want to waste any time he could spend with you *let my boy receive his love*

but he’s not thaaaat excited he just hopes that the kid will get K.O.-ed early in the night so he could have some alone time with you( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).... TO CUDDLE ya nasties

so when you arrive at your cousin’s house and you come in

he surely DIDN’T expect a kid to literally throw himself onto you and cling to your legs while chanting your name o(*^▽^*)o

the only way you can get him to detach so you can walk is if you pick him up in your arms

“y/n, who’s he?” mark just stares at the chubby finger pointed at him and produces an *HIGHLY AWKWARD* smile like (*′☉.̫☉)

“oh this is mark, my boyfriend”

*silence* “ew”

now hold on rewind

did a kid just ‘ew’ at mark (｡☉︵ ಠ╬)

and then he had THE AUDACITY to cling to your neck while rambling about his new robot toy and mark had to THIRDWHEEL the entire night

now he’s sure you have superpowers how could you tame that!!??!?! even haechan could be considered mild in comparison to... this ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

he’s pouty the entire evening while you play and take care of the newly spawned devil in town who HOGS your attention the entire time

so when he finally runs out of energy a bit later than mark would have hoped for, he’s quick to envelop you in his arms and drag you into a well deserved cuddle session ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

“what took you so looong?”

“sorry sorry, i had to look under his man for boogeyman”

“pffft i think boogeyman is the one looking under his bed for that kid”

but he does melt when he remembers the way your eyes sparkled as the child giggled excitedly on your lap while imagining himself in the picture too (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

Huang Renjun

renjun as we all know is just a bit short tempered so i’m not sure where he stands in his relationship with kids 눈_눈

but also he brings up his younger cousins quite often and he seems very fond of them whenever he talks about them

so i guess he likes kids but like good kids ya know Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

so let’s say you’re shopping in like one of those bigger supermarkets

and you hear cries

your mother instincts literally GO OFF LIKE CRAZY

renjun doesn’t even have the time to blink before you’re dragging him in the direction of the noise with such precision you might as well have a radar at this point ᕕ༼✿•̀︿•́༽ᕗ

turns out a little girl was lost between the tall aisles

renjun is a lil bewildered cause what is he supposed to do? not like he’s tall enough to see other the aisles in his dreams maybe

but you seem to know EXACTLY what to do as you crouch down in front of the girl and speak to her so gently not even renjun can hear properly

and then as if nothing happened she stops crying

just like that so renjun decides to try his luck too o｜◕ˇ▽ˇ◕｜ツ

“come on, let’s go find mommy and daddy”

and lemme tell ya the little girl sprung into your arms and clung to you with everything she had as she mumbled into your neck

“i only wanna go with miss” (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

his eye twitched a lil ngl （；¬＿¬)

and that’s how you end up taking a stroll to the announcement desk with a whole child gripping onto your hand

renjun would have never imagined his grocery run to turn into this

he only wanted some damn carrots not a frickin child ಠ╭╮ಠ

thankfully it didn’t take long for the parents to run over and thank you for returning their child safely but there was only one problem left

getting her to let go of you

that was a whole ass dramatic goodbye

poor renjun was left exhausted after this he gave up any grocery run he intended to do and dragged you home pronto (ﾉTдT)ﾉ

he admires you so much for how you handled the situation and how you seemed to be so natural and in your element he can only think of how great of a mother you will be in the future with his beside you hopefully

Lee Jeno

one word, his greatest asset: PATIENCE

i see jeno as a man of patience which is more than just helpful when it comes to handling children ❀.(*´◡`*)❀.

he’s also volunteered in all these programs that involved children and he did really well if you ask me soooo he’s a good ally to have (︶.̮︶✽)

and you really REALLY want to volunteer together at one of those like emergency centres for children or something

and who is he to deny his love? he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, you’re too cute in his eyes so he lets you get your way anyway

so before you step inside one of the caretakers gives you some advice

warns you that the new kid, a little girl still in primary school, is still very closed off and wary of everyone

but as you step inside the kids get drawn to you like moths to a flame, swarming around you and asking you questions while dragging you in the living room to play with them

jeno just trails behind, watching the entire commotion with his soft eye smile as he understands (◍•ᴗ•◍)

he knows that you just have a way with people, he’s been in the same position mesmerized by you, it’s one of the reasons he loves you so much and seeing you so purely happy surrounded by children

MELTED HIM ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

eventually you drag him into the happy circle too and he seems to fit in just right by your side with giggling children everywhere around you

he ends up using his muscly arms ᕙ[ ˵ ͡’ ω ͡’ ˵ ]ᕗ as swings

“hey!! i’m stronger than you!!! let’s have a fight!!!!”

you just giggle as you colour some pictures with a few kids but stare at your boyfriend from the corner of your eye

jeno is so simply happy and comfortable he doesn’t even notice when you disappear from the crowd at first

but when he does his eyes search wildly for you like a lost puppy Σ(ﾟﾛ､ﾟ;)

but then he spots you

curled up on a small couch in the corner of the room, deep in conversation with the new girl whose eyes seemed just a little brighter as you clutched her hand in yours warmly ｡ﾟ.(*´◡` )

and jeno just realises again

you’re just working your charm once again and once again jeno falls for you for the nth time, deeper than the last time and lighter than the next

Lee Donghyuck

this manchild right here smh ୧༼◔益◔୧ ༽

now don’t get me wrong i’m pretty sure he’s decent at least with children

given he has two younger siblings and he often talks about hanging out with his little brother also have you seen that vid with the little girl?? the was he talked to her ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

buuuut BUT he’s also DYING like a fish out of water without attention

so when he invites you to tag along to his hangout with his lil bro

he didn’t expect TO BE THE ONE THIRDWHEELING!!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)

you keep feeding and pampering his brother who basks in your full attention half because he loves it half because he loves the annoyed look on hyuck’s face

“babe i want some kimchi too” (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

“oh!!! sure, i’m sorry for hoarding it all”

and as hyuck awaits with his eyes closed and his mouth open with a pleased smile

you plop a bowl of kimchi in front of him and turn back to his brother as he tugs on the sleeve of your shirt

hyuck, muttering to himself: ‘i should have left you home, you lil brat, both of you traitors!!!!!’ (ノTДT)ノ ┻┻

he pouts and sighs dramatically with crossed arms the entire night while watching you interact oh so sweetly with his little brother

but he can’t deny the warm feeling of fondness swarming is his chest seeing you get along so well with his family and being so genuinely happy when you’re with kids

still complains to you when he gets you alone

“i can’t believe you love my brother more than me!!! ME, YOUR SWEET LOVELY CUTIE BOYFRIEND!!!” ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

“first of all, i wouldn’t stretch it that far-” “how is that stretching-?!??!”

“i’m sorry i’m sorry, my sweet lovely cutie boyfriend, i just missed him, he’s so cute and i haven’t seen him in so long and he seems to grow so fast every time we meet” (oꆤ︵ꆤo)

NOW hyuck is real soft how can he be mad at you when you’re THIS ADORABLE AFSKSGDFSAF-

hyuck just presses a sweet smooch to your temple and mutters

“he only acts that cute with you, he’s a devil at home”

“sheesh, i wonder who he takes after” *pointed look* (￢ε￢　)

Na Jaemin

my man here will most likely compete with YOU for the CHILD’S attention

it’s like GAME OVER for him if a child rejects him ε-(≖д≖﹆)

he’s never gonna get over this betrayal from both sides

so let’s say he takes you with him when he offers to babysit a cousin or neighbour idk you get where i’m getting at

and he’s already ‘play buddies’ with him as jaemin likes to put it (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)

and you’re slightly acquitanced with him from a previous visit to jaemin’s house when you coincidentally met

so when jaemin opens the door and announces his presence LOUDLY, the little boy doesn’t waste A SECOND to waddle in the hallway and meet you both ლ(＾ω＾ლ)

and jaemin crouches to meet him midway and-

and he *swooshes* past jaemin and into your open arms while giggling

jaemin, a lonely man in the middle of a hallway: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

the entire day, your boyfriend tries to steal the kid’s attention or bribe him over with sweets or toys

now you’re wondering who the real brat is

is salty about the UTTER rejection but also can’t help but watch you both so fondly with a proud hopefully in future for real fatherly smile (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

“are you practicing, y/n?”

“pardon?”

“practice, are you practicing?”

“for...?” ∑（´△｀○）

“ya know” *wiggles eyebrows* “taking care of our future children”

“learn how to control your own brat at home read jisung first and THEN we can talk, jaemama”

jaemin can’t believe this low blow, how could you after everything he’s done: cooking for you, taking you on bike rides even though he was the one who wanted to, even buying pads!!! or even worse!!!!! STRAWBERRY YOGHURT!!!!!! ∑(ﾟ台ﾟlll

he’s still pouty as you all put on an animation and snuggle a blanket

but then!!!! you fall asleep with the little boy in your embrace

and jaemin!!!!! just!!! CAN’T!!! stay mad!!!!!! cause you’re both just SO absolutely irrevocably CUTE!!!!!! ♡( ૢ⁼̴̤̆ ꇴ ⁼̴̤̆ ૢ)~ෆ♡

so he just HAS TO lay a *meaningful* smooch on your forehead as he sleepily moves closer to you both, one arm wrapping loosely around you while the other caresses the child’s head, lulling the both of them to sleep his protecc instincts kicked in y’all

Zhong Chenle

he has already expressed his wish to have a family someday since he wants to live the same happiness his brother does with his own family

which i think is ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS

and we all know he’s WHIPPED for his nephew ˞♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ)

but unfortunately

that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s good with children yet

let me give you a context over here

so he’s left alone for a short while with his baby nephew which shouldn’t be too bad since technically chenle is an adult at least legally okay??

and right things are all good until BABY STARTS TO CRY i’m talking about the actual baby here although chenle might cry too at this point

and chenle just PANICS when he realises that just shushing won’t work and whacking a hand over his mouth *cough* like he does to jisung *cough* isn’t an option (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

but thankfully, you’re there!!!!!!

“may i?” you ask chenle as you stretch out your arms in his direction

chenle has never passed over anything faster in his entire life џ(ºДºџ)

so when you coddle the baby in your arms and just gently bounce him a little he just settles down so cutely and most important QUIETLY as he stares up at you with curious eyes, small fingers curling up around a necklace swung around your neck or just the fabric of your shirt

chenle is all like (๑•́o•̀๑)!!

HOW DID YOU JUST DO THAT!!!!

and he watches with eyes even more curious than his nephew’s eyes as the baby slowly dozes off peacefully in your arms (꒡ ω ꒡ )zzz

it just hits him just how natural the scene looks

he approaches carefully once he’s sure his nephew fell asleep and lays a gentle hand on your head as he peers down at the cute chubby baby face

“you’re a life saver, how did you even manage to do that?” ◎ܫ◎

“you know, i have to take care of you all the time so-”

he flicks your forehead faster than you can finish that sentence

way to ruin a moment (oT-T)

but *SIKEEE* the baby fusses a little as soon as you frown and chenle immediately freaks out

he showers the spot on your forehead with kisses and his nephew settles down once again as you smile at him proudly ໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७

chenle rolls his eyes as if he doesn’t wish for this scene to become familiar to him sometime in the future

Park Jisung

this chick is still a baby who barely hatched

so he’s still in CONSTANT WONDER of the world ༼ つ ◕o◕ ༽つ

and in this episode of ‘jisung the explorer’ he’s discovering... ACTUAL babies

so you were on a date at the local mall when you met with a family friend of your mom’s who was struggling with her fussy baby girl in a carrier while trying to shop for some baby products

so you offer to watch over the girl until her mom finishes up (•́⌄•́๑)૭✧

but just as you’re about to attach the baby carrier to yourself, an old woman asks for directions around the shop

so you pass the baby to jisung for literally a minute to show the lady the way └(>ω<。)┐

and jisung is HIGHKEY PANICKED

he holds the baby by the underarms at arms length and obviously she doesn’t enjoy that and just starts wailing in the middle of the shop

and people just... stare (,Ծ_Ծ,)

and jisung is all like ‘IT’S NOT MINE!!!!! AND I’M NOT STEALING OR MISTREATING IT EITHER!!!!!!’

the moment you’re back in his sight, he’s THRUSTING that tiny loud bald creature in your arms it’s a child jisung ║ * ರ Ĺ̯ ರ * ║

and he expects for you to panic too but right away

the baby quietens down as you cuddle her close to your chest and coo softly in a hushed baby voice

and she plays with your shirt while you glare at your boyfriend (눈_눈)

“y/n, you sorcerer, how did you just shut it off?”

“i didn’t ‘shut it off’, she’s a baby not a tape recorder”

“oh REALLY, i couldn’t tell the difference for a moment there”

you just might consider returning jisung and keeping the baby（ ಠωಠ）

he watches in wonder as you entertain the baby for the next few minutes until her mother comes back

and he swears his heart skips a beat when he sees your smile widen with tenderness once you get a small giggle out of the baby (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*)

he supposes maybe she isn’t so bad since she makes you so happy

even though she was louder than even chenle which is an accomplishment at this point

and when jisung notices your slight pout once you gave the baby back and parted ways he makes sure to shower your face in kisses until you regain the same smile that made him fall so deep in love with you

[kaiswritingcorner]

Dating Dean Winchester Headcanons

Just a short little headcanon of what I think it’s like dating the best Winchester brother

Being deans s/o wouldn’t be easy, alright? Boy seems like the he’d love you to hell and back, and don’t get me wrong he would….but he also doesn’t do….feelings? Well? So sometimes trying to get him to emote with anything other than sarcasm and sass (outside of sleep time) can be a challenge. He is a ‘show you rather than tell you’ kinda man.

He’s ✨mentally spicy✨, okay? So patience is key. He’ll have his off days, he’ll be more quiet than usual. He’ll be standoffish, distant, cold even.

Dean Winchester is a man broken by time that never got the chance to be put back together properly. He just grabbed all the pieces he could and went about his day. So he has his moments where the bad just comes out and consumes his everything and that’s okay. You’ll be there for him when he comes back to you, and he knows that.

Dean can also super caring, especially after a long and rough case. So he does small things for you when he returned to let you know he still loves and appreciates everything you do for him. All the patience you have for him while he’s away and through all the long distance.

Some examples being cleaning your house for you on a rough day from work; buying you your favorite food or drink items for a surprise movie night; bringing you lunch to work when he has the time just so he can see you smile.

Night time tho, that’s a different story entirely. When you two are in bed, Dean becomes a much more clingy and loving person. He can’t sleep properly unless he has you wrapped around him. Legs intertangled, arms around one another, face either smothered into your chest or neck or hair. It can be on the couch, the bed, the floor if neither of you have the energy to move from the tackle you probably did when he came home after a hunt, whatever. Dean Winchester becomes to softest, cuddliest man alive when he’s tired, at night, home with you. Then and ONLY then is he a man that can be vulnerable and weak and small with you.

He absolutely shows you off to all his friends. Sam is sick of it, but he laughs and smiles at his brother who he knows deserves this. Castiel is nothing but happy to see Dean in a loving and healthy relationship for once in his life. He deserves it after all the hell he’s been through his whole life. Bobby won’t admit it but when he sees dean talk about you or worry about you or even just show pictures of you two on some trip you took, it brings him an unimaginable amount of joy to see him…a boy he treated as his own son, so happy and at peace with someone. Especially since dean never thought he’d ever get this.

He understands that he can never reveal all the details of his job to you, doesn’t wanna worry you or get you involved. He promised you one night in your sleep, that he’d beat his way through hell to end all this shit so he can finally just be home with you for the rest of his miserable existence. He vowed to stay alive just so he can keep you safe and give you the life you deserve. To have him by your side as your living husband, maybe even as a father to your children. (whether that biological, fur babies, or adopted) it’s a vow he will never reveal out loud to you.

Being with Dean Winchester is a challenge that is rewarding, hard, and worth all the shit because at the end of the day you both love each other more than anything you could think of in this world. Despite all the risks to your lives, the monsters that haunt you both, the demons and the war between heaven and hell, it is worth it because you will have each other’s backs through it all.

[purplecatdad]

Rarepair Week “First Kiss”

Part of the RDR Events Rarepair Week!

Prompt: First Kiss

Arthur/Kieran | Teens and Up | Canon-Divergence | CW Shot wounds

Arthur isn’t part of the VDL Gang in this one, he is just some outcast who some day runs into a skittish young man with a bad wound and decides to help him! 

AO3 Link will follow. 

Kieran knew that she shouldn’t have trusted them. He knew that, after all, the van der Linde gang wasn’t all much different from the O’Driscolls. And that they absolutely would kill them the moment they had no need for him anymore. 

He still cursed himself as he was riding Branwen, hard and fast through the shrubs, making his way through Cumberland Forest to the general direction of the Grizzlies, up north where he hoped for safety. He was terrified of the animals there but he hoped that he’d be able to lose the gang there.

“Come on, girl. I know you can do it”, he whispered to Branwen, pressing his legs into her sides to push her forwards even though he knew that she was running for her life as well.

A shot went off that grazed her shoulder, both Kieran and Branwen crying out. He couldn’t lose this horse, not after everything they went through. Another shot and this time Kieran felt blinding pain through his leg. He cried out, felt the blood seeping down through the fabric of his shirt but he grabbed the reins tighter. No matter how much blood he’d lose, he had to get away from Dutch’s boys before they could catch up to them. 

He just passed Fort Wallace when he heard the train whistling, announcing it’s arrival at the nearby station. Luckily, Kieran knew the area since he had camped up here with his former gang before so he pushed Branwen forward towards Baccus station, up the mountains. This was his chance, if he could only get the train between himself and his pursuers he might live to see another day. 

They were galloping up towards the station, the train rushing towards them. Kieran pushed Branwen to keep running forward. He heard how they passed the train tracks, the train dangerously close. He heard Bill curse loudly behind him as the train rushed over the tracks right after Kieran had passed them. He still made Branwen run, still as fast just to get some more distance between them. The train came to a halt, stopping for the few passengers that would leave at the station and Kieran prayed to whoever would hear it that the gang wouldn’t try to get around the train. 

As he passed the Donner Falls, the rushing of the water drowning out any other sound he dared to slow down Branwen, sitting down heavily in the saddle and leaning back. He looked behind himself, scanning the area for any possible threat … but there was none. He sighed gently, slumping down in the saddle and gently scratching Branwen’s neck. “We did it, girl …” he said and gently nudged her forward. Even though he had lost them, he knew that he couldn’t just stay here. He needed a proper camp, some place to rest up, to take care of his wounds.

Branwen was breathing hard, her walk now painstakingly slow but he didn’t have the energy to make her move faster. His vision got blurry, his mind started spinning. He looked over at his leg again, the blood dripping out of the wound. He knew that he should cover it up, but … His vision went black and all he heard was a “You alright there, mister?!” before he lost consciousness. 

--

Kieran woke up to the smell of something cooking on a campfire. It made his stomach growl loudly before he could even open his eyes properly and he heard a low rumble of a man chuckling close to him. 

“Least yer still hungry.” He heard a stranger’s voice as he slowly sat up, blinking as he took in his surroundings. He was surrounded by trees, the early morning sun just rising above the horizon in the distance. A small campfire was lit next to the lean-to tent he was now sitting in, a man crouching next to it as he stirred around in the pot. 

The stranger was impressively large, broad shoulders, some scruff on his face, an old leather hat on top of his head. He looked rough, like a man that was used to living outside but when he looked over at Kieran there was a smile on his face and his eyes seemed kind and friendly. “Name’s Arthur. Found yer bleeding out on your horse, fixed yer up, didn’t want you dying on me. Breakfast’s almost ready.”

Kieran stared at him for a moment, not used to kindness like this. “Where’s my horse?” he blurted out, not interested in making conversation now. “Is she alright?” 

The other man chuckled softly at that and motioned towards a closeby tree, where three horses were standing. An impressively tall, black dappled thoroughbred standing next to an arabian with a brindled coat, unlike anything Kieran had ever seen. And right next to them was his horse. “Branwen!” He called out, got up and ran towards her. Halfway there his vision got dark again and he almost stumbled into her. 

“Woha there”, suddenly the stranger was standing close to him as well, steading him with a hand on his arm, his grip firm but gentle. “You lost a lotta blood, make sure to rest some b’fore you start runnin’ like that.”

Kieran closed his eyes until the world stopped spinning, blushing slightly as he realized how close the handsome stranger actually was to him. He excused himself as he got out of his grip and focused back on Branwen. “She got shot, I-” as he stroked down her neck towards her shoulder he realized that her wound had been tended to. Surprised, he looked up at Arthur who just shrugged gently. 

“I know a thing or two ‘bout horses. Took care of her wound .. but she’ll be alright.”

Kieran stared at him for a moment, then looked at Branwen before he looked back to the pot of stew on the fire. “Why… why would you do all this … for a stranger? What’s in it for you?” He had never met anybody who would just do something out of goodwill for a person they didn’t actually know. 

Arthur shook his head, an amused smile on his lips. “Ain’t nothin’ in for me, ‘s far ‘s I know. But helpin’ folk.. ‘s the righ thing to do ‘s all. Now, let’s get some good into ya.”

So they sat down around the campire together. Arthur served them both some stew, made with rabbit and some wild carrots. Kieran had to hold himself back not to gobble it all down within seconds after being starved out by the van der Linde gang. Arthur seemed to notice how hungry he was because he immediately refilled Kieran’s bowl after he had finished the first one.  

“So, why’d you get shot?” Arthur asked eventually as Kieran was halfway done with his second server. “Pissed off the wrong fellar?” Kieran thought about it for a moment. He knew that mentioning a gang could seem a bit too threatening. He didn’t want to risk Arthur sending him away again if he learned that he had been hunted down by some outlaws … that he used to be a part of. But he also felt bad keeping it from him. What if they actually found him here, O’Driscolls or Dutch’s boys? 

“... It’s a long story. But something like that, yeah. I was … they had tied me up for a while, got away though. Don’t think they followed me, though. I ain’t important enough for that.”

“Shit. Ya wanna talk to the law?”

Kieran looked up at him, shaking his head. “No … no, better not. I ain’t … well …”, he wasn’t even sure if the local law would know his name, he never played a big role in any gang that he was running with. But it was still not a good idea to get the law involved. What would Arthur think of that, though? 

“‘s alright. I ain’t exactly friendly with the law either”, Arthur assured him and set his bowl aside. “Feel free to stick around, I don’t mind a little company.”

Kieran watched him for a moment, wondering if Arthur actually meant what he said or if he was just saying it to be polite. To him, Arthur didn’t seem like the kind of man who just said something to be polite, though. And so he smiled and gave him a little nod. “I’d love to.”

--

And so they spent the next weeks together. Arthur told him about the Arabian he had caught. “Stripey”, as he called the young stallion just for the time being. Apparently there were two brothers down by Rhodes who’d give a good price for a horse like that, even without papers. So Arthur usually caught wild horses, the pretty ones that looked fast and strong. He was good with horses as he had worked on a ranch for a good part of his life and therefore had an easy time taming them. 

Arthur had said that he didn’t like the word “breaking” because it wasn’t what he did. He explained to Kieran that horses wanted to trust and follow anyway, that it was in their nature. That people didn’t have to break their will in order for them to do what they wanted. And Kieran couldn’t agree more. He told Arthur about Branwen and that he never trusted anybody more than his horse. He told him about how he had found her as a young mare, kind and sweet but about to be put down for a simple injury on her leg as she wasn’t able to “make money” like this. Back then Kieran had pleaded with the owner to please let her go, that he would take her for free even if she couldn’t walk properly so the farmer didn’t have to waste a bullet on her. But the man had just laughed at him and sent him away. So Kieran had done what every reasonable horse lover would do - he had stolen Branwen away the next night and vanished with her. 

When Kieran was done with his story Arthur had smiled at him in sympathy. It was something they could bond over - their passion and love for horses. And even if they looked fairly different, they had a lot of things in common. Both of them were never able to settle down anywhere. Chased away, running from the law, not belonging to anybody. But it made them belong together and so Kieran decided to run with him and help him train the horses. 

Arthur was one of the kindest men Kieran had ever met - sure, he didn’t talk much and got a little loud when he drank (which he always did after they sold a horse) but he never insulted him, never made fun of him for being a little jumpy at times. He even took his time to teach Kieran how to read and write after Kieran had admired him for his pretty handwriting one day and admitted that he couldn’t read any of it. 

Kieran caught himself staring at Arthur now and then as well. When he was concentrating on a task, cleaning his hunting rifle or speaking softly to one of the horses. Arthur was a beautiful man with the most amazing voice that Kieran has ever heard and blue eyes with the prettiest speckles of green when the sun hit them just right. Kieran had known that he fancied men but the longer he spent his time with Arthur the more he realized that falling in love with one was even a possibility. He didn’t just admire him for his body, didn’t just desire him … he just enjoyed his company and being with him in the simplest way. He didn’t dare confess anything to him, though. He knew what people did with men like him. And while Arthur was kind and caring, Kieran didn’t know what he thought about “queers”. So Kieran kept quiet and just stuck to his way of admiring him from a distance.  

--

After they had sold Stripey they had made their way up north again because Arthur had heard that there was another Arabian up by Lake Isabella. A white one this time and it really sparked both of their interests. Kieran knew that it meant coming back to Valentine because it was the logical stop before the hike up north but Arthur promised him that he was a good shot and that he’d keep him safe (which made Kieran blush) so they did it. 

Luckily they didn’t meet any of the van der Linde gang on their way through town or up the mountain. It was quite the hike and Kieran wondered if it was really worth the trip but when Arthur told him to join him up in his tent at night to keep each other warm with their body heat he stopped wondering about it and just agreed that yes, it was a fantastic idea to get up into the snow together. 

When they finally found said horse Kieran was in awe. She was a beauty, her fur so white that they both almost hadn’t noticed her in the snow. Arthur called her Snowdrop. She was a piece of work though, wild at heart and not very trusty. Arthur even wondered if she had ever been mistreated by a person before because she was so skittish in the beginning but she didn’t bare any scars that indicated it. 

They chose a different path down the mountain this time as Arthur had some “business” to attend in Strawberry. At first, Kieran was happy about it. He had been around the area before and had always found it rather pretty. But when they had made camp at the foot of Mount Shann everything changed. 

“Oh, ain’t that good ol’ Kieran Duffy!” he heard coming from a line of trees. The sun already vanished so it was hard to see, especially after tending to the fire but Kieran recognized the voice immediately. It was the voice of Carter Jenkins, one of those who had always loved to bully him during his time at the O’Driscolls.  

“Carter!”, Kieran yelled as he jumped up. “J-just leave us be! No need to shoot!”, he said as he saw the weapons in his and his companion’s hands. He wasn’t alone, in fact he was with 3 other people, all of whom Kieran recognized from his time with his former gang. Oh, this wasn’t good. 

“Hmm, you know if you give us all your money and the horses … I might consider it. Though I’m sure Colm would love to see you himself. You know that he prefers to kill the traitors himself.”

Kieran’s eyes widened but before anybody could say anything else, Arthur had pulled out his gun and shot Carter right into his face. All eyes where on him for a second before the other two raised their guns at Arthur and shot. Kieran yelled out his name and tried to get between him and the others but he was too slow to get between them in time.

Arthur went down but so did the other three men. Kieran stared at them in surprise for a split second. Arthur had always told him that he was a good shot and Kieran had believed him. But three people, right through the heart in the matter of only a few seconds? 

The thud of Arthur’s body hitting the ground pulled Kieran out of his thoughts and he crouched down next to Arthur to inspect his wounds. two of them were just minor graze wounds but one had shot right through his shoulder, blood seeping out of the wound and Arthur groaning loudly. 

“Oh shit, oh shit .. Arthur! Stay with me!” Kieran said to him with his voice full of panic and distress. He didn’t know what to do so he just took off his shirt and pressed it down on the wound to stop the bleeding. 

“Ain’t .. goin’ nowhere …”, Arthur moaned softly. “Just … gotta shut the wound …”, he said, slowly opening his eyes and looking up at Kieran. “Can you do that? Just .. some gunpowder and fire .. should do it …” Arthur’s eyes squeezed shut again, most likely from the pain.

“Gunpowder .. yes I ..”, frantically he looked around until he saw Arthur’s revolver in the dirt. He let go of his blood soaked shirt, got to the gun and pulled out one of the bullets. He had seen this way of shutting a wound once before. It wasn’t pretty and he knew that it hurt - but it was quicker than shutting it with a needle and threat. And the things he needed were far more available right now. 

After he had ripped open the shirt around the wound he pried open the bullet with his teeth, poured the gunpowder into the wound and lit it on fire with a small, burning stick from the campfire. He jumped when the gunpowder caught fire, his nose full of the smell of Arthur’s burning flesh he had to gag as Arthur yelled out in pain before going still. 

“Arthur?!” He waited for a response but there was nothing. For a few seconds he feared the worst but then he focused and realized that Arthur’s chest was still rising and falling. He was breathing. Alive. Shock had probably knocked him out, he had seen it before in people he had fought with side by side. He just had to keep him warm and protected during the night and then hopefully he would be awake the next morning. 

So he set to work. He carefully dragged Arthur into the tent and put all the blankets that they had on top of him before he dug out a grave for the dead O’Driscolls. He knew that he didn’t have to but it felt wrong to just leave them lying outside. It was the right thing to do. And while Kieran knew that he wasn’t the greatest of men, he wanted to be honorable.

When he was done with the quick burial he went back into the tent. It had been a rather cool day during this early summer and the floor wasn’t the driest so he worried about Arthur. For a moment he hesitated but then he shut the tent as securely as he could and slipped under the blanket with Arthur. He hoped that Arthur would understand it the next morning - that he only did this to keep his body temperature up, to make sure that he would recover from the shot. 

Kieran clung to Arthur that night, hugging him to make sure that he’d notice any shift or change in the other man. He prayed to whichever god would listen that Arthur would make it. He couldn’t lose him. Couldn’t lose the only human companion he ever trusted or cared about. Arthur had shown him kindness when nobody else would and had protected him from the monsters of his past, in more than just one sense. It wasn’t fair that he was the one lying in a tent with a shot wound. It should’ve been Kieran. But it seemed like yet another cruel joke of fate that it wasn’t him who had gotten hit. Just another good thing that might be taken from him. “You gotta make it…”, Kieran whispered as he got even closer to Arthur, listening to his weak breath and closing his eyes. “You will survive. You have to.”

Eventually he drifted off into a light sleep. Worry and adrenaline had worn him out so much that he was just too exhausted to stay awake, even if he knew that he should’ve. He still slept restless, dreams of the past and a dark future creeping up on him and keeping him worried all night, even in his sleep. He finally found rst in the early morning hours, awake but happy that Arthur was still breathing, still warm next to him. 

Another hour passed and Arthur slowly stirred awake. Kieran sat up right away, looking down at the handsome man. He was beautiful like this. And when Arthur looked up at him, a smile on his face, Kierasn couldn’t help himself. “You’re alive”, he whispered before he bent down and kissed Arthur’s lips. Gentle and careful, but also full of joy to see the other alive. Shocked, he realized what he had done and pulled away, now staring down at Arthur who looked at him in confusion. “I- I’m sorry … I didn’t .. I … uh …”

Arthur’s features softened and he chuckled gently. “Nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout. Was wonderin’ when you’d finally do it”, he said and pulled Kieran down for another kiss.