#i keep forgetting things apparently cuz i thought i posted this but nope

[beardedhandstoadshark]

I need a new niche interest to obsess over and I’m not able to pick. Can you infodump about your own hyperfixations so I can adopt one of them?

Just to ask something here, because between the last ask about hyperfixations and this one I found out that’s actually strictly an adhd term, right? Cuz regardless of suspicions I kinda don’t really have an official diagnosis or anything, so answering this ask As Is seems a bit like indirectly pretending I do, which seems?? Kinda mean to lead you on like that?? So, yeah. Just wanted to clarify/apologize/make sure everything’s cool and comfy here

But anyways, infodumping! I mean, there’s the usual, the videogames, kirby, pokemon, Zelda, minecraft, etrian odyssey- but those are like half this blog anyways and minus the last one not very niche so I kinda doubt they’re gonna be interesting. Uhhhhhhh if the following isn‘t doing it for you please tell me and I‘ll try to find something else, but otherwise

DID YOU KNOW CUCUMBERS ARE CACTI!?

Well not really. But I’m growing some right now and a) their leaves a *gigantic* and b) they’re very fuzzy but also kinda rough because of their hairs, while their stems are full on prickly- I’m guessing it’s a safety mechanism because the cucumbers grow very close to the stems so it makes sense, but having tiny plant-glass shards in your hand still hurts lol. Also depending on the sort, the cucumbers themselves can also have actual spikes. Their flowers are really pretty, they’re big and yellow with 5 leaves, kinda remind me of hibiscuses without the middle thingy. There’s usually separated male and female flowers (unlike tomatoes or peppers) but some variations are bred to only produce female flowers that pollinate themselves, and when they need the male ones for their seeds they make the plants grow those by using silver-ions, which sounds kinda metal ngl (pun absolutely intended). Also their tendrils? Twines? Are super strong for how tiny they are compared to the plant, if they feel something climbable they really latch on to that and don’t let go. They’re actually touch sensitive, kinda like Venus fly traps. Not as instantaneous though lol, it does take a bit of time.

I’ve also got two begonias that I saved from getting thrown into the trash, and apparently their flowers are edible…?? They are really pretty though. And change colors depending on sunlight! They’re apparently supposed to be sitting in half-shadows but mine are taking the sunlight pretty well and turns out if they get a lot, the plant gets redder- not just the flowers but also the leaves and the stems! They’re also male-female separated, with the male ones having differently shaped leaves (and I think I also counted 5 instead of 4?) that’re on top of a capsule holding the seeds, which are microscopically small! You can barely see them and gotta "plant“ them by brushing them like super fine sand. Also apparently another way of growing new ones is by just. Breaking off a branch and sticking it in the mud? Which is?? Super weird??? Because these guys are very fleshy and on normal difficulty, while the only other plant I know you can clone like that is my bow hemps.

And those guys are basically indestructible. Like, normally that credit goes to cacti but those need light. Meanwhile my big guy‘s been hanging out in my no-light-after-11am-room all this time and doing great. They only need water once a week normally but I forgot yet because it’s been sitting in shadows this guys been groovin though 3 weeks. There’s even a tiny baby plant growing! They only grow a single flower per cluster so the main way of getting more is by either chopping said babies away from the mother cluster, or by chopping leaves horizontally so you get stripes, and sticking those in soil. Apparently it can take months until something grows, though. Also when you use this method with the sort that has yellow stripes on the side, it‘ll lose those stripes? Even though the leaf stripe (and therefore the genes) has that yellow in it? Couldn’t find why that happens yet, but it’s interesting. The only way to really screw up with them is either bugs in the soil (though they can tank those too to some degree), or getting too much. Nutrients, but mostly water. It’s better to use pots that‘re a bit tighter and also have holes underneath because the biggest threat is rot, either root or stem rot. That’s also why you shouldn’t give them (or any plants that grow in this circle form) water from above, because it’ll get stuck inside the center and cause rot. It’s better to fill something up with water and put the pot inside, that way you also don’t risk giving them too much water and having it soak your entire floor/desk/etc. Also pots with holes are just better in general because all flowers got the same "too much water = drowned roots“ problem. (Except for my begonias for some reason which frequently get their entire soil drowned and still grow like nothing - even though they’re supposed to take it especially bad?? Not complaining though, just confused)

And tomatoes are berries which makes a lot of sense if you think about it but also feels horribly wrong since they’re neither sweet nor sour

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Drunken Shenanigans

(First off, sorry that this isn’t broken up into parts. I don’t know. Maybe you guys prefer it in one long chunk anyway? Well whatever. I’m too lazy RN but let me know your preference maybe for future stories? Cuz like. Y’all know how long winded I am.)

---------------

FUCK OKAY JUST

FUCKING DO IT WEI YING

ENOUGH PUTTING OFF THINGS.

I want to tell things in order. Or as close as I can remember. But I’m gonna be honest. The fire fucked me up. And I know that each story brings me closer to having to talk about it. 

But I think I have to talk about it. 

So

Let’s see. Drunk Lan Zhan. 

I WANT to talk about that because in retrospect it was fucking hilarous. 

But I haven’t been able to because I’m just all sorts of fucked up right now. 

But I think a way to get me less fucked up is to just start unwinding the pieces.

And honestly, writing helped before so I think it’ll help now. 

It’s just that starting has been difficult. 

So I’m just gonna rip off the bandage. 

I’m just gonna start. 

------------------

So it was Friday. Fuck. Already a month ago?? Jesus I’m late. 

Okay A month ago today. Friday. 

Let me gather my thoughts. 

What was I doing? I think I was at home. Doesn’t really matter. 

I got a text from Lan Zhan. Not completely unusual, but I knew he’d had plans to meet his family earlier. I think I was surprised that he was texting me so early in the evening? I remember expecting to hear from him later..

Er.. no wait I think I was going to text him around 9. To at least check in on him and wish him a good night. But he texted me first. 

I’m scrolling back through my phone. What exactly did he text? I know it was like… wrong right away.

Oh yeah. It was my name 3 times in a row. Or almost. The first two times were mistyped. And then after he got it right he apologized for the misspellings. 

I asked him what was wrong and…. String of martini glass emojis? Oh man he was GONE already wasn’t he?

SO obviously I booked it over there. Remember going through a few different apps to figure out which company would get me there the fastest because I sure as shit wasn’t gonna leave him there alone.

Looking back maybe I should have called someone else? His brother could have gotten there faster. I think I didn’t want him to worry. I figured if this was the state that Lan Zhan was in after meeting with his uncle, then Lan Xichen probably wasn’t in the best state either. 

I should have checked up on him too but I didn’t. I was too worried about Lan Zhan. 

I really should have checked in on him.

Maybe it’s not too late? Who takes care of Lan Xichen when Lan Zhan is fucked up? 

Okay that’s not right. Fucked up isn’t right. Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan has issues, I know he does. After all he is, surprisingly enough, still human. But he manages them so much better than I do. 

I’m fucked up. Not him. 

So let’s rephrase. Who helps Lan Xichen when his little brother is also upset? I know he was, is?, dating Jin GuangYao? Though he doesn’t talk about it much. I’ve met the man in passing a couple times. Doesn’t seem the most comforting.

Though I guess there’s DaGe too. I remember he took pretty good care of him at my birthday. 

Is it wrong to want to make Lan Xichen split up with Jin Guangyao so that I can set him up with DaGe? I just think they’d be cute together. 

Ah not that I’m in any place to do that. See above; I’m fucked up. I should untangle my own love life before I try to poke holes in someone else’s. 

And… maybe I shouldn’t be talking about these things on my blog?

Ah fuck it. I’ve said more personal stuff here already and none of you know anyone I’m talking about anyway except Ghosty and… Idk. I trust Ghosty. 

Can’t help it. I just trust them. 

Anyway

Anywaaaaayyyyy where was I?

Fuck these tangents. Are they worse than before? Or have I always been like this? I should re-read my old posts but somehow I’m scared to. I don’t want to look at where I was right now. I feel like so much has happened… am I even that person?

I don’t know why looking back scares me. Probably old defense mechanisms. Probably why I can’t remember anything before I was 10 too. Mmm. I should look back. I don’t want to forget.

But I think I’m afraid that I’ll… I don’t know… Either miss or hate who I was. If I miss who I was what will I do? I can’t go back to it. You can’t go back to what you were. 

But if I hate who I was…. Well I hate who I am so I guess there isn’t much difference….

Shelf that.

Fuck. My complaining about going off on tangents became a tangent. 

Where Was I???

Okay. So I carted my ass over to Lan Zhan’s, thinking not for the first time that maybe I should just fucking learn how to drive???????????

But whatever. I got there pretty quick. 

I knocked on the door, heard some concerning bangs and then silence. 

Knocked again and called out his name. 

Think I heard him again… swearing????? But it was muffled so I can’t be sure. 

Shame.

Haha

So I decided to do what he told me to do before and just use my damn key. 

I mean… it’s not breaking and entering right? And besides. He texted me. That… meant he wanted to see me right? At the very least even if he didn’t it was for his sake. Totally not at all because I was curious what he’s like when he’s drunk. 

Nope. Not a factor. Purely just wanted to make sure he was okay. Absolutely innocent. 

(You know that’s a lie. I REALLY wanted to see what he’s like when he’s drunk. But I DID also want to make sure he was okay. So really, win win. Or… True neutral in intent? IDK but I think they cancel each other out.)

So I very carefully opened the door and peered inside to find…. An empty apartment. 

The lights were off in the entry way, but I could see something down the hall and around the corner. Turns out that he was in the living room with a lamp and a bit of a mess. 

He’d knocked over the bottle of wine when I knocked. Apparently I startled him? And then when I knocked again… ???

I’m not sure. 

But he was somehow tangled in his own pant legs? They were comfy pants and a bit flowy and his foot got stuck in the other leg? I don’t know how it happened and clearly neither did he. And he’d toppled over and… apparently had given up. 

So clearly my coming over was the correct call. 

(Sorry Lan Zhan. I know you’ll never read this and never know but… this was just too precious to keep to myself. I promise I won’t embarrass you TOO much but there needs to be a documentation of your drunken hijinks. SangSang please don’t tell him. ;w;)

So about this point. I decided that instead of helping him, I was going to call out to you guys to ask for help.

I don’t know why? I was panicking. 

So I posted Help. 

And then went to untangle him. 

Managed to fix his pants (don’t think too hard about that one) and get him sitting properly. He just kinda blinked slowly at me and kept silent the entire time. ????

Like okay looking at his face you’d never know the guy was trashed. But the guy was TRASHED. 

I asked him how much he’d had and he just held up a finger. 

One.

One what??

A glass? A bottle? A keg?

I looked over at the jug that had tipped over and tried to gauge how much he’d had. I don’t know if the bottle had been full or not when he started. I don’t think I’d left any half-empty? But he may have shared with another guest? I wouldn’t have been surprised if he kept some on hand for SangSang too. Not just me. It’s good wine.

Well either way. With how much was now spilled on the table and floor, and how much was in the bottle… I’m guessing… he had no idea and was bullshitting me how much he’d had. 

So there’s that. 

He had enough alcohol for one drunk. Got it. 

Well didn’t matter. Either way he was sloshed. I suppose this is karma (I know that’s not how karma works) for when I got drunk off my ass in front of him before. Ah well. 

You know… speaking of karma…. Like what kind of fucked up karma do I have? Like I must have just been a DEMON in my previous life. What the fuck did I do? Massacre a ton of people? Raise the dead? FUCK. Well whatever I did. Thanks a lot past life me. You’re a DICK.

Anyway.

I went to get a cloth to mop up the mess. While I was wiping everything down he disappeared.

I posted on my blog again because I have shit priorities, and then went to find him. 

He was in the kitchen. After turning on every single light. His head was completely in the fridge. 

I called out to him, because what the fuck? And he stood up and blinked at me again. Except now he was holding a package of skinless chicken breast??? For some reason?????

Why did he even have that Probably was planning to make it for me the next day since that was our Saturdate. He doesn’t eat much meat so it wouldn’t make sense for him to have so much. 

But okay

Like

He just held it out to me and said my name. 

???????

Just.. standing in the kitchen with ALL the lights on with the fridge hanging open offering me skinless chicken breast in its neat little vacuum sealed packaging. 

So uh…  Like what do you do with that?

I asked him what he was doing and he just pushed the package at me, asking if it was good? 

I mean they looked fine. Lan Zhan always buys good stuff. And this stuff was clearly bought fresh and then wrapped up by himself. He’s got a vacuum sealer thing. So like it’s not even stuff from the grocery store? He probably got it from a humane butcher. Because he does his research on EVERYTHING. 

So like… yeah?? They were good? And I like chicken. 

So I just kinda nodded and said yeah they’re good. And so he pushed the meat at me again and said it was all for me? 

So um.. I don’t know if he was asking me to cook it? I asked him if he wanted me to cook it and he looked confused. 

And fair. I mean I was confused too. No one wants me to cook. Everyone always complains. They just don’t appreciate the culinary genius that is me. 

But Lan Zhan looked at me, then the chicken, and seemed to be in the deepest thought. 

“Let’s put this in the fridge and we can eat it tomorrow, yeah?” I suggested, trying to take the meat from him and edge to the fridge at the same time. 

Apparently this was incorrect as he yanked it away from me and started towards the stove?????

I got to him just in time to stop him from turning it on. 

Like okay Lan Zhan is an amazing chef. And he’s got a NICE kitchen. But the stove is a gas one. You know the one with open flame? And like 

THe man had just dumped have a container of Emperor’s Smile on himself???

Like fuck. So I think I screamed. 

Because Fuck. No. Lan Zhan was NOT going to cook for me while drunk off his ass. 

I remember lunging at him and like pulling all the knobs off of the stove so he couldn’t turn it on. He glared at me with this.. this …. POUT. omg it was adorable. 

But NOT adorable enough for me to give him back the stove knobs. He tried to grab them but I put them in my pocket.

And then he tried to grab them again which is danger zone no no for SO MANY REASONS ;asldkfjsa;lkfaslkfjsd;lkfjas;dkfj;lafkjk

So I took his hands 

And put on my best most adorable pleading expression and asked him to please let us have it tomorrow? Because I really wanted to eat it tomorrow. He stared at me again, binked, then slowly nodded and put the chicken… in the cupboard. 

So I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie or something instead. He didn’t answer (How is drunk Lan Zhan even more quiet than sober Lan Zhan? How is it possible?) but he didn’t like protest or anything. 

So I asked him if he wanted to pick something out and I’d come in in just a minute for him to surprise me with whatever he selected. 

He nodded at that. Mumbled something that sounded like “for Wei Ying.” or something and stumbled off. 

I took a moment to breathe and update the blog again before putting the chicken in the fridge. Contemplated hiding the knives and stove knobs somewhere where Lan Zhan couldn’t get to them, but that seemed a bit much. So I put the knobs back on and went to see what Lan Zhan was doing. 

He was….

Drinking….

More….

Again.

So I updated my blog again????? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Well I did stop him again.  I grabbed the bottle and just took it. Downed the whole jar so that he couldn’t have any more. 

Maybe not the best option? But I had eaten dinner for once and I’m actually not a lightweight. (That one time was a fluke. Like it seriously was) so it was fine. Not like I was driving home anyway.

And besides maybe it’d help me get on his level? IDK. It was stupid but then so am I. And it was just a shame to dump it all out so down the hatch it went. 

It was at this point that I realized that Lan Zhan was still wearing the clothes he’d spilled all over. I suggested he go change into something clean. He seemed to find logic in this and stumbled off to his room.

Did NOT shut the door but that’s okay. It was down the hall and I couldn’t really… SEE anything unless I went further into the hall myself. 

Tempting but I was a good boy and resisted. 

Thats when things got quiet… too quiet (see post I’d made about it being quiet). 

I went to go check on him to find that he was stripped to his boxers, with his pants around his ankles. He was looking in his closet, probably trying to find out what suit to wear???

But when I entered he stumbled back, slammed the door shut and toppled feet over head to the floor!!

Man he’s jumpy when he’s drunk. 

I helped him to rights and was actually so distracted that I didn’t realize that he was practically naked for like 2 whole seconds!!

(I’m pretty sure Lan Zhan isn’t a mortal, no matter what I said earlier in this very post about him being a human. No human being has the right to be that fucking cut??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

It is NOT fair. 

FUck. )

WELL being a responsible and reasonable adult (lol) I decided I would help this drunk toddler of a man get dressed. I dug through his pajama drawer and pulled out something soft and fluffy. Hoped that it’d be more appealing to him if it was super super comfy. Started to hand it to him, but then figured fuck it. Probably better to just do it myself. 

Managed to keep my eyes and hands to myself as I helped him. Very proud.

He let me do this without complaint. He was very good. He lifted his arms up when I told him to and his legs. Ended up putting my face WAY too close to his hips but I looked at the wall the entire time so it was fine.

Fine. It was fine. We’re fine. I’m fine. It’s fine. 

Fuck I’m a mess. 

Okay what happened next. He was good. Sat like a good boy. Got him dressed (thank you A-Yuan for giving me practice? Did not think this was a life skill i’d be needing now that you’re growing up and can do your own buttons but guess life likes to throw them curve balls. Either way. A-Yuan m’boy. I owe you a solid.)

(Also do NOT miss changing your diaper. Fuck) 

ANyway

NO TANGENTS. (that’s a lie. There will be more tangents. Whatever.)

SO Lan Zhan was dressed like a human again. Somehow even drunk of his ass he looks like some sort of adonis. Not fair.

Uh.

Oh yeah. I got up and was gonna step away and he grabbed me. 

Not like hard? But really firm. Grabbed my arm and said “no.”

No what? No to the pajamas? No to the bunny slippers? No????

I asked him what he was saying no to and he just said no again and pulled me closer. 

“Lan Zhan Lan Zhan” I chided, “You’re being unreasonable. I got you all dressed and you were being so good but now I try to get up and you say no and stop me? What are you wanting? Do you not like these pajamas? Do you want me to dress you in something else?”

I remembered him looking at the closet and decided to be a little shit. I was gonna pretend I was gonna grab one if his suits to dress him in that instead. (No way I was going through that effort. Just wanted to prove a point that the PJ’s were much more comfy.)”

“Alright. Why don’t we change into something else? I know you like wearing suits. Or well, /I/ like when you wear suits. So let’s go get one.”

He started to relax his grip and I got up again, but then 2 steps to the closet he seemed to panic and grabbed me again. 

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and sat back down on the bed with me mostly in his lap?????

Okay Trying to keep myself pure here. I’m a good boy. Who was not going to take advantage of my best friend while he was drunk off his ass.  Good boy. Think of ANYTHING else but being in his lap. 

And of course. THis meant. I had to run my mouth. 

“OH? So you DON’T want a suit? Well then you should just be happy in those pajamas. As nice as you look in a suit I think they’re much more comfortable. The pajamas that is. Unless you’d rather be naked. But that--”

Anddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

He covered my mouth. 

I tried to twist to look at him but he wouldn’t let me. 

I tried to protest against his hand but he wouldn’t let go. 

So I examined my options and decided the only course was to lick him.

So I did. 

Because I have had a brother and that always got me out when Jiang Cheng actually managed to pin me.

Worked like a charm this time too. Lan Zhan dropped me like I was made of fire. 

Maybe I should have been offended???? But I was too busy laughing. 

He stared at his hand in what had to be horror. I calmed down enough to offer to wipe it off for him but he just pulled it in to his chest protectively. 

“Oh come one. I’m not gonna lick it again! I said wipe it off! Clean it. Fuck I’ll wash ‘em with soap if you want. Dear goodness it’s not like I’ve got fucking cooties or something.”

He stared at his hand again and pouted, seemingly not sure what he wanted to do. 

I reached out gently again and he pulled away again.  Clearly not down for touching anymore. 

So I huffed and said fine. 

“You just go to bed or something then. I’ll leave you alone if you’re just gonna get all grumpy at me.”

So I started to leave. And he tried to grab me again???????????????????????????????????

Does he want to be touched or not? Or maybe he just wanted to do the touching now that I look back on it.

Well at the time I just kinda leapt out of the way and complained he wasn’t being fair changing his mind about what he wanted every 2 seconds. Quite unreasonable.

And somehow….

This ended with us chasing each other around the house??? 

Admittedly that part’s a bit of a blur. It started with him chasing me and then somehow we switched and I ended up chasing him?

Oh yeah. I think I thought he was going back to the kitchen or something and I panicked and tackled him onto the couch. That’s when I sat on him to keep him there and posted about it again while I caught my breath. 

He just let himself lay face down on the couch, his face pressed into the pillow completely. Both a blessing and a curse because I don’t know what I was thinking at the time. I dont’ know what I would have done if he’d pouted at me again. Licked him again?? But a curse because that meant all I had to focus on was how thicc his ass was. Like I was sitting on it. 

And it is a COMFY perch. Gotta say. Like fuck. This man is perfect in every way. 

NOT. THE. POINT.

KEEP MIND. AWAY FROM THAT. YOU DON’T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW. ESPECIALLY THINKING ABOUT THINGS THIS WAY WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO BE SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED AS HIM AGAIN TONIGHT. 

(DON’T @ ME WE JUST SHARE A BED. OKAY? IT MAKES US BOTH FEEL BETTER AND IT’S FINE. IT’S FINE. WE’RE FINE. I’M FINE. IT’S FINE. I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THAT MORE LATER BUT JUST.. IT’S FINE OKAY? IT’S FINE. TRUST ME. COMPLETELY NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT IT. IT’S OKAY TO CUDDLE YOUR BROS. I MEAN IT’S A BIT COMPLICATED SEEING AS I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT WE BOTH AGREED THAT THE KISS MEANT NOTHING SO WE’RE FINE. 

FUCK.. okay I’ll get back to this in a minute because I made myself cry again. 

Hold on. 

Okay I’m back. And I’m actually fine now. Just a little bit of heartache. It flares up if I think about it so I just don’t think about it. 

So sometimes when it sneaks up on me like that it just causes a little bit of a panic. We’re fine though. It’s passed and we’re fine. 

Where was I? Where was I…. um… oh yeah. Sitting on that juicy ass--- um.. Sitting on Lan Zhan to keep him on the couch where it was safe and cushioned. 

It worked for a bit. But apparently only because he wanted it to. 

Somehow I forgot that the man can bench a fucking truck? So he just did a push up with me on his back while on the couch (Have you tried to do pushups on a cushioned surface? Please do not do this. Make sure you exercise on sturdy, solid surfaces or you will roll your wrists or something and I will not be held responsible for unsafe workout practices.)

SO Lan Zhan just pushed both of us up and I tumbled right off like I was made of fucking feathers. 

No idea what he was planning to do. 

At first he seemed worried about me because I tumbled. Which I think broke his train of thought away from what he’d originally planned? Or did he even have a plan to begin with? 

FUck who knows. Not me!

Well anyway

I had a bold stroke of genius. Because how does Lan Zhan get me to stay put?

So I told him to sit and wait because I had a surprise for him and that I’d be really sad if he didn’t do it. 

So he immediately assumed the lotus position and closed his eyes. Coulda been a fucking statue. 

I stared for a second but then remembered he was drunk as FUCK and I had no time. So I rushed off and grabbed Bichen and Suibian so I could dump ‘em in his lap. 

Fucking worked like a charm. Suibian didn’t stay too long because she always prefers my lap (aaaaaaaaaaaah my heart) but Bichen will always stay put when plopped on Lan Zhan’s lap. (I feel ya, li’l buddy. If I could get away with it I’d live there too).

Told him that he needed to be nice and calm for the bunnies and he nodded so seriously. He started to pet Bichen so carefully it was so sweet. The little bun flopped over right away. She loves her Lan Zhan so much. (Same)

Decided to try and get him to talk to me once he’d been quiet for a little while. I asked him what started all this anyway. 

At first he said that he wanted to learn to be more tolerant to alcohol so that he could drink with me

Which is so fucking sweet but does not explain why he went so hard into it. 

And I knew he’d seen his uncle earlier that day. So I pressed. 

I won’t tell you all that he told me. But yeah. Family is complicated man. 

But that part of the story.. That’s his story. I’m not sure if he even wants ME to know about it, so I’m definitely not telling you guys. Sorry. But please try to understand. 

We talked for a long while and eventually he ended up falling asleep. I very carefully moved the bunnies to their pen, then picked him up and carried him off to bed too. 

There’s something surreal about princess carrying Lan Zhan. Not gonna lie. 

I wasn’t willing to leave him alone in case he woke up again so I just climbed into bed with him. Wrapped him up in my arms to make sure I’d wake up if he tried to leave (hopefully).

But he slept through the night. 

It wasn’t until morning that he lurched out of bed and booked it to the bathroom. Poor guy.

I will never try to get him to drink again. With mornings that awful it’s just not worth it. Though admittedly he’d probably do okay if he just didn’t drink as MUCH as he did. Make I’ll get him a Mikes Hard? I know from talking to him since then that the wanting to be able to share a drink with me was genuine even if it wasn’t the only reason he was drinking. So maybe we can ease him into it. I mean Mikes hards are so weak that they may as well be virgin drinks so that should be safe? 

I’ll talk to him about it later. 

Anyway. I took care of him all morning and he was so miserable. (Even got to carry him again. He was so worn out he barely protested). 

I brought him back to bed with some aspirin and some water. I should have made him drink some the previous night but I guess with how crazy that night was maybe I can be forgiven for that at least. 

I gave him some kisses on his face because at that point it was our thing??? (Because… what were we??? Well now we’re back to just friends I think. After… after the kiss that meant nothing.)

Fuck.

Okay don’t think about it. We were… we were something… but now we’re just friends. And that’s just… how it is. Because i fucked up. Because of course I fucked up. 

I let him take a nap and watched something trashy on TV. Eventually he shlumped out of bed (as much as Lan Zhan ever schlumps which is not a lot) and crashed onto the couch next to me. 

We talked some more and he tried to apologize to me. I wasn’t gonna hear it. I got a bit of a more sober re-telling of the reason he was drinking and I did my part to listen. 

Despite how much I talk, I can actually listen if the occasion calls for it! Surprising, I know. 

We went to bed again eventually after watching more garbage TV together. 

And uh.. Yeah…

That’s the adventures of Drunk Lan Zhan. 

Sorry I know some of the details are probably wrong. It’s been a while and a lot happened. But yeah. That’s more or less it. 

[airanke]

I can't remember, but i think it was you who said you were changing Wows storyline (not that I blame you lol) but I'm curious what it is? I'm mostly writing excerpts for my characters during Legion and I've been thinking a bit on what they'll be up to during Bfa. I'm debating changing some things to fit my version of bfa lol

Yes, it WAS PROBABLY ME.

I’m changing it specifically for Amita’s “canon” story (Lascivious Ophidian, as I’ve named it). She follows WoW storyline pretty closely up until the beginning of Legion.

Umm because I’m long winded, I’ll put it all under the cut!

[Pre-post Edit]: Also I’m really sorry, I JUST finished typing it all and uh. It’s long. Ahahahah;;;;

Some of my points below are subject to change but I’ll give you the gist of the differing things that happen in Lascivious Ophidian vs. Canon WoW.

Vol’jin and Varian not dying (now, I know Varian dying is important to Anduin’s development, but you don’t need to kill a parental figure to push forward a child. BNHA is a very good example of not needing to KILL the mentor to push forward the student, same can be applicable to Anduin and Varian). Sylvanas actually uses her quick reflexes and her experience as the previous ranger general of Quel’thalas to fire an arrow at the fel guard before it can stab Vol’jin (also I won’t go into how BS it was that he died of Fel Poisoning, but I won’t do that here LOL). If Blizzard wants to write “strong women”, they can start with actually having them use their skills to help their allies (cuz don’t get me started on how Jaina just disappears from the Alliance cinematic along with Mekkatorque so that Blizz can milk the whole Genn / Varian scene).

Quickly following this, Varian and Vol’jin fight the Fel Reaver together while Sylv / Jaina more or less team up to evacuate all Horde / Alliance fighters. Some ofc refuse to leave their High King / Warchief, and both women also provide long range support. Baine has to carry Thrall off battle because Thrall is completely spent. Eventually Vol’jin and Varian take down the Fel Reaver, but not before both of Vol’jin’s tusks break (he loses one to some trash mob that he needs to dodge with little time to think about it - the other he loses because Varian notices that Vol’jin is now off-balance with one tusk missing and listen, Vol’jin has big tusks, bigger than how I draw them, so he’s off-center because of that. This leads to Varian running toward Vol’jin with a hand out, Vol’jin nicks his tusk and in a moment of absolute trust, Vol’jin lowers his head enough to let Varian grab, and snap his tusk. And then kill something with it. Because that’s badass).

Varian unfortunately gets either his spine broken or knocked out (haven’t decided yet) and Vol’jin has to carry him to safety because he’s down for the count, and right before Gul’dan can Do Some Bad Shit the Aspects show up with a large force of dragons. Gul’dan nopes the fuck out. Khadgar manages to make it over to and teleport the remaining people to safety (not sure what entirely happens to Amita during this yet, I originally had her scripted to throw her all into making a wall of roots and get left behind, but I already have a plot similar to that with her disappearing for three years and Vol’jin Will Not Lose Her Again so… that’s still up in the air. She’s present during Broken Shore, though).

Then, instead of leaving cuz she’s Angery at the Horde, Jaina instead recognizes that she still has trauma / pain from what the Horde did to Theramore, and then Dalaran (kinda sorta) during Garrosh’s reign. So she leaves Dalaran to Khadgar because she’s like “y’know what, I can’t bring myself to trust the entire Horde again yet, if you want them in Dalaran, then I can’t be here, in Dalaran. I still need time to heal” something like that. Everyone is understanding of this and doesn’t try to make her stay, and Amita does what she can to help her BFF find some solitude. Something along those lines. Cuz y’know Jaina’s anger and distrust toward the Horde is still valid and understandable, but Blizz REALLY needs to do better with nuance instead of having characters Rage Quit every ten seconds.

Most of Legion stuff otherwise is normal, with the whole class hall thing (the Dreamgrove, in Amita’s case), Genn still pursues Sylvanas into Stormheim but instead of destroying her chance to enslave Eyir, Vol’jin pulls a hard stop on that plan. She rage-vents at Vol’jin about it and he claps back that she never actually asked him if she could go off on this little personal mission of hers, and so robs Genn of the closure he needs in regards to Liam’s death (this is important for another plot point I have further down). Vol’jin promises that he’ll help her find a way to sustain her people through more natural means (l i t e r a l l y). So Vol’jin and Sylv have a pretty strong bond, and also because Sylv actually follows the development Blizz was giving her up until Teldrassil happened, which was her developing past her obsession with keeping ONLY the Forsaken alive (re: “we are the Forsaken, we will slaughter anyone who stands in our way”), and starts to care about the Horde and wanting to keep the Horde alive (which was still hinted at until, y’know, recent shit which I don’t understand).

Argus related stuff is pretty much the same.

Sargeras still stabs Azeroth, and so there’s Azerite everywhere, and Vol’jin is entirely unamused by Gallywix because the Azerite shows Vol’jin a vision that Bwonsamdi has shown him before, so he just shrugs it off, because Vol’jin doesn’t care about becoming the ultimate legendary saviour all-powerful all-mighty whatever the fuck. Silithus is pretty similar but after some ACTUAL TALKING, Vol’jin and Anduin agree to split who harvests Azerite from where so that Horde miners aren’t being killed and Alliance troops aren’t being killed in retaliation (Vol’jin sends Sylv to “deal with” the problem at first, and then has a chat with Anduin to p much show Anduin that “every action has a reaction, did you really expect me to loaf around while you killed my miners?”) Yeah. Learning moment yay.

As for BfA, instead of Teldrassil being burned down by Sylvanas (because she obvs CAN’T do that since Vol’jin is warchief and he would fucking never), Genn is the one behind it. So Sylv WANTS to march on Teldrassil because she doesn’t believe the peace between the Alliance and Horde will last. Vol’jin, while agreeing that it would, in fact, be smart to attack Teldrassil, tells Sylv “no, we can make this work. Sure, peace might not last forever, but so long as I’m in charge, I can make it work. We’ll start with Ashenvale. We’ll start with having our druids restore what we’ve taken”. Sylv eventually agrees that this is a good idea, so then stuff between the Horde and the Nelves is a bit better.

Now, I haven’t ironed out EXACTLY how I get to Genn making the decision to burn down Teldrassil, but he’s very consumed by his anger toward Sylvanas (re: him not getting his chance to ruin HER chance at getting a future for her people because Vol’jin both ruins that chance and proposes an alternative - more or less leading into Forsaken learning druidic magic so that they can use plantlife to sustain and heal their bodies, and we get the orcs of Draenor, so there are other rituals that can be put in place of… FUCKING VALKYR. Please note this is also something else that I’m still working on, but I find it frustrating that we just always forget that the Horde has druids and shamans and there are other ways to preserve the Forsaken than the Blight. Because perhaps Sylv is just going to have to make due with what she has, and IDK ACTUALLY TALK TO HER PEOPLE AND GIVE THEM A CHOICE AND SHIT. Sylv is p much driven by fear of death when you think about it LMAO).

Anyway, Genn burns down Teldrassil but also does it in such a way that the Nelves still blame the Horde. Malfurion has an inkling that Vol’jin wasn’t behind it because he / Sylv / Saurfang show up when they get wind that this is happening and apparently it was Horde troops and the LOOK VOL’JIN WOULD GIVE SYLVANAS AND THE PANIC IN HER FACE LMAO anyway, Genn had made the mistake of capturing a druid, who quickly escaped Worgen eyes and went right to the Dreamgrove, and then immediately went to Amita to tell her what was happening, so Amita immediately goes to Darnassus and starts evacuating people and basically she barely manages to escape in her dragon form and Sylv and her Forsaken pull Amita and a lot of the civillians out of the water yaddyadda fun stuff.

Sylv immediately knows that Genn did this because he wanted an excuse for the Alliance to march on the Undercity, and yeah, kinda goes from there with Undercity plot, and Vol’jin allows Sylv to use the last of the Blight to Blight the Undercity, because there’s no way Sylv will let the Alliance take away her people’s home from them, esp not since they WERE the humans who had lived and died there.

Anyway, my BfA stuff is still kind of a mess becuase while I absolutely loathe Genn’s guts, I don’t want his decision to burn Teldrassil to be on a whim, or to seem non-tactical (personally I thought it would be interesting if Teldrassil was an inside job because then it would be taking away the Horde’s chance to turn it into a Horde stronghold, kind of like how I interpreted Sylv’s choice to Blight the Undercity as her taking away the Alliance’s chance to turn UC into an Alliance stronghold, y’know?)

ALTERNATIVELY I CAN ALWAYS THROW THE TWILIGHT’S HAMMER IN THERE BECAUSE I WANT TO GIVE THEM MORE PROMINENCE ANYWAY BECAUSE BLIZZ ALWAYS FORGETS ABOUT THEIR OTHER VILLAIN FACTIONS IN FAVOR OF RED VS BLUE FOR SOME REASON THAT I DON’T UNDERSTAND and I already have an incredibly high ranking Twilight’s Hammer lady in the works, she’s v horny and frisky all the time but she will destroy you make no mistake.

Cuz then Genn could just try to pin it on the Horde anyway, and like… what you gonna’ do bout that, it’s a fire, it will burn all the evidence anyway. Genn’s word against Vol’jin’s. Depending on who you talk to, will depend on who they’re more inclined to believe, no?

I’d go into more but it’s SO MUCH, so I’ll just list a few other things (this is only Horde side related because I STILL haven’t finished Alliance side, my apologies):

Shadra does not die.

Rezan does not die, but is out of commission for a while, therefore still allowing Zul to take over the city.

Mythrax is killed before he can destroy the third seal.

Rastakhan does not die in the Raid on Dazar’alor, for multiple reasons I won’t go into.

He does however step down as king so that he can mentor his daughter, and because he’s ready to let himself die if that ends up being the case.

Katherine and Rastakhan may or may not have a few years together before Rasta finally dies peacefully.

Probably some other things that I forgot, but before anyone comes after me about “reversing” these deaths, listen. From a story only standpoint, they are pointless. In regards to Shadra in particular, the ONLY REASON she even dies is because we, as the player character, cannot attack Yazma. You can bet your entire ass that Amita would go charging down there and bite off Yazma’s head (which is foreshadowed earlier in Amita’s story after Vol’dun stuff but I don’t want to spoil EVERYTHING haha!).

However, these deaths make some sense in regards to the way that Blizzard has plotted their dungeons / raids. They need Yazma to be empowered for a dungeon, just like they need Rezan to die for that same dungeon. Mythrax needs to break the third seal and live for the Uldir raid. Rastakhan needs to take on a deal with Bwonsamdi because there’s a whole death plot aspect thing in BfA and so Bwonsamdi needs to be in that position of power.

For Amita’s story, however, these deaths hold no merit, they DON’T need to happen. Technically you don’t need them to happen in game either, but I digress, I understand the decision that Blizzard made in regards to them even though I obviously strongly disagree with these decisions. 

That’s kind of all I’ve got for now. I need to finish Alliance stuff because Amita DOES spend a lot of time on Kul Tiras as Jaina’s support, because Jaina just needs her BFF there to lean on, since going back to a family that thinks you were the cause behind your father’s death is not easy my dude.

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 4: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

Stinger

S: Any time that we do these recordings my sense of humor is like a 12 year old child's.

O: [Laughter]

[Intro Music Plays]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode-by-episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon! I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: Today we're going to be talking about episode number 4: Transport to Oblivion. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah.

O: So last time- if you'll remember, uh, we finished the pilot for the original Transformers cartoon which involved them leaving Cybertron, falling asleep on Earth for 4 million years, waking up and Decepticon-Autobot shenanigans.

S: Yeah.

O: Welp, all that stuff, forget everything you just learned, because almost none of that matters now. Ah, you know how the Autobots were leaving at the end of the pilot? They were going to go back to Cybertron?

S: And revitalize it?  Yeah, that didn't happen.

O: It's not going to happen. They're just going to be chilling on Earth for the time being. So, you know, we open up back at the Ark: Cliffjumper is seeing things. And by things, we mean Decepticons.

S: Yep, and this is why you don't look into the sun kids. Meanwhile, Ironhide's kind of topless again. I mean honestly his paint job kind of looks like he's wearing a halter top so, that doesn't really help. [Laughter]

O: It- it keeps fluctuating but we're pretty sure he's supposed to be red on top but he keeps popping up grey, periodically, so eh?

S: Yeah.

O: Anyway, Cliffjumper, uh, shoots an unfriendly rock, which falls down and nearly takes out Optimus and Ironhide, and then Ironhide--- so, so you know, Cliffjumper’s like, “Ahh-- I thought it was a Decepticon,” And Ironhide’s like, “The Decepticons are gone for good.” He says last words-ingly.

S: Says Ironhide last words-ingly.

O: Thankfully, Optimus seems to have learned his lesson from the Pilot and is, you know, kind of like, “Umm, not so sure.”

S: He's- lets- basically like let's be cautious about this.

O: Right, you know the smart thing.

S: Yeah. And meanwhile Megatron preens about fooling the Autobots.

O: And fooling them good.

S: Um--hmm, and I think we see, like, this really fantastic underwater city that the Decepticons have built in the meantime.

O: So, I think it's, it's like the remains of their ship.

S: Well, it's built around the remains of their ship.

O: Or something.  Anyway, they've done a lot of work and, as I previously stated, uh, in the last episode Soundwave was able, clearly, to bring the ship down without completely destroying it cuz they're using it as their base.

S: Yeah, and, honestly, the Decepticons just seem like they're a hell of a lot more handy at building things than the Autobots.

O: Ehhh--Except Wheeljack, Maybe?  Ehhh--

S: Yeah.

O: Back on Cybertron we see Shockwave again, who's chilling as his gun.

S: He's shooting randomly at something? It kind of looks like he’s shooting at the ground and then he transforms, and part of him just sort of nopes out screen right. When he transforms into robot mode and it's like, is it a monocle- is it a monocle for his gun? And then he just kind of drags himself into the other room and there's a really great tired walk, which is relevant to an upcoming point.

O: [Laughs] So, apparently for the past, oh, four million years Shockwave has been trying to call Megatron.

S: Yep. Talk about needy.

O: And, you know, so he tries again only this time Megatron's, you know, actually awake. So Megs is like, “Holy fuck, you're still alive.” [Laughter]

S: And, and it-it's like home phones you.

O: [Laughter] Uh, Megs has many titles, uh, we find out during this conversation- one of which is, future ruler of the universe. Self-proclaimed, clearly.

S: And Shockwave is basically dying of starvation, this is the relevant point.

O: I guess most of Cybertron is, I think is what you said?

S: Yeah, the implication or maybe it's just a very wide-ranging headcanon is that sometime after the Autobot and Decepticon leadership left Cybertron that basically Cybertron itself, or whoever was in charge of it- so Shockwave, I guess, started shutting everyone down in order to conserve energy because the planet’s not orbiting a sun or anything. It's just flying through space with no power source, so...

O: Regardless, uh, we find out that the Decepticons are almost done with their shiny new space Bridge. uh, basically so they can shuffle back and forth from Earth to Cybertron.

S: Yep.

O: Uh, we get the return of Soundwave creeping on humans. This time with 90% more rock and roll.

S: And then the magical race changing man because someone got their color notes mixed up. He goes from, uh, black in the first scene, to white in the second, and then it's back to black. Everyone, like, all of the blue collar workers in here, all have the same sort of outfit that Spike and Sparkplug wear. So, they must be fashion trendsetters or something.

O: [Laughter]

S: I mean, I know it's just a really simple design. Going logically, as far as the animation goes.

O: Right, right, but yeah.  So basically Soundwave has infiltrated a solar energy plant, uh, and transforms out of, uh, his boombox mode and releases Laserbeak, um, which today is Operation: Destruction. He's used that one before right? He's just reusing them now, he's just reusing them!

S: He is, he is and then blasting through a window shutter? Enter the Decepticons, the rest of the Decepticons. Cuz, I mean, this obviously isn't a door because it has a freaking lip.

O: Yeah, it's really strange I was looking at it and it looked kind of like a garage door but it wasn't because there, it wasn't flush to the ground. It was very strange.

S: Um-hmm, um-hmm.

O: Also, it begs the question- if they were just going to blast in anyway, what did Soundwave going in as a boombox really do?

S: Social engineering, I don't know--we've got that post.

O: The only thing I can think of, is maybe he'd been there for a while and was spying on them buu-- I just don't know like, he--oh who knows.  Anyway, moving on. We cut to Spike in Jazz.

S: They're in traffic and Spike’s not using a seatbelt.

O: Actually! We looked this up. Seat belt laws didn't start becoming commonplace in the US until the 80s or the early 90’s, depending on the state so when this was made that was actually probably pretty normal and, I don't know about you but when I was a kid I remember all the, ”Wear a seat-belt,” stuff, and I know some of it is still out there but I feel like there's less of it maybe?

S: Um--hmm, cuz it's pretty normalized now, and also going from- apparently something that I heard about the new Mystery Skulls thing- is they might have just decided they didn't want to, you know, animate seatbelts.

O: I'm-- okay, that's a fair statement.

S: It's a possibility, but it's probably, it's more likely, you know that it wasn't you know--

O: Culturally, a thing.

S: Yeah.  Um--hmm.

O: So anyway, Jazz is trying to destroy a child's eardrum, apparently, with the power of really loud music and Spike in the front seat.

S: Yep, and remember he's 14. I still, I still can't believe that he's actually 14.

O: It's okay, Officer, my car is driving me!

S: Um--hmm, um-hmm. Oh, and he kind of nearly throws Spike through the windshield when, basically he has to slow down really, really fast. Like, there's three inches between him and the car in front of him.

O: Yeah, Jazz is a very exact driver. Basically they hit a traffic jam, uh, and something is clearly causing chaos within the city and then Jazz does a totally illegal u-turn and zooms back to the Ark.  Uh, so, apparently the city’s losing power due to Decepticon shenanigans at the solar plant.

S: You think they'd, you know, build their own so-- you know solar plant somewhere in the ocean, where no one would know. And I mean oh, God, these guys are so handy and apparently they can't do that.

O: Well, it's just like, why would you want to tell the Autobots you're still alive? [Laughter] This- this is the part I'm confused about.

S: Obviously this is to facilitate robot flirting AKA punching.

O: Obviously. Um, so, you know once they figure this out, Prime’s like, “Oh, fuck. Megatron's still alive.”

S: And he sounds oddly breathless about it too, so going back to the robot flirting.

O: Robot flirting yeah. And we get another toy roll call, this time with more Gears bullying the Bee. Alternatively, Gears is just kind of a dick.

S: Yeah, yeah.

O: Ah, Soundwave is gathering dat Energon with his patented cubes again.

S: Yep, and the Autobots burst through a skylight.

O: Why is that even there?

S: Obviously for natural light, and I mean Ratchets leading the charge? Like okay...

O: Oh, sure put your medic out front, oh, it's fine.

S: He likes kicking people.

O: [Laughter]

S: Obviously, he's had to take out his aggression on, you know, the glass first.

O: [Laughter] Okay, so you're telling me someone pissed off Ratchet, shoved him to the front of the line and said, “Get them,” to--about the Decepticons.

S: Hey, I wouldn't--

O: I'd watch that.

S: I wouldn't expect anything less from the Autobots, some of them do weird stuff.

O:They do. So, uh, we get into the fight proper and Cliffjumper, the maniac- if you remember, tries to take on Megatron by himself. Aah, Cliffjumper, literally, only comes up to Megatron's waist.

S: It looks, hmm, bad.

O: Anyway!

S: The placement...

O: Cliffjumper punches Megatron in the nads.

S: [Laughter]

O: Oh, sure now we get a new sound effect *CLANG*! Megatron's Nads are that badass apparently, they don't get the bonk sound effect.

S: [Laughter] Bonk! [Specs precedes to completely lose it]

O: I think you mean clank.

S: Clang! [still losing it] Okay, I am calm.

O: [Laughter] Okay, so, ah, Cliffjumper gets his ass handed to him via Megatron. So we get more Cybertronian flirting with Megatron and Optimus Prime. Basically they're punching each other again.

S: And then the Seekers escape with Energon and so, they’re basically just holding the energon to their tummies and they transform and it goes away.

O: [Laughter] It goes in their tummies. Anyway, Megatron gets a competent handler today, hello Soundwave.

S: Yep, yep. [Laughter] And Ironhide takes a hit for Prime.

O: “I used to be a war hero, then I took a fusion cannon to the chest!” Back at base, Ratchet is repairing him.

S: Ratchets’ patented tender loving care as he shuts off Ironhide’s voice box with, you know, a button?

O: Apparently that exists and good man.

S: It's like a button in his torso or something? And he's just like,”Don’t you sass me!”

O: [Laughter] Nobody sasses Ratchet, they'll regret it.

S: Umm-hm.  And then Bumblebee is sent out to scout out the Decepticons’ plans.

O: And he takes Spike, like Spike comes up to him and says, “Hey, can I come with you?” And Bumblebee’s like, “Sure, why not?” And I'm like, why? WHY? Leave the squishy at home!

S: And they, like, he just sort of goes off roading.

O: Randomly!

S: In exactly the right place to find the Decepticons.

O: Okay. Can we pause for a moment and ask ourselves, why is the Autobots Recon guy BRIGHT YELLOW!?!

S: Well, I guess Mirage, Mr. Invisible, is indisposed at the moment, and Jazz could have also done it considering he's the head of Special Ops, at least in this universe.

O: But no we send the bright yellow, freaking Volkswagen bug.  Anyway, so they go into, they call it a river bed but it--

S: It's, no, that's not a riverbed, that's either a giant canyon or a weird-ass giant culvert, not a riverbed.

O: Yeah it doesn't look like a river bed. Decepticons are testing their Spacebridge to Cybertron. Uh, the test fails- S: -and then Starscream mouths off again!

O: Must be Tuesday. So apparently, uh, the test failed. Uh, but having a driver for the space Bridge vehicle will fix everything.

S:Why? I mean do you need some sort of consciousness to direct the Spacebridge?

O: I think their implication was someone would be driving the space vehicle but I really don't feel like, they are later, you know, which is weird.

S: They're just- Considering what happens with Megatron, he's not driving shit.

O: [Laughter] No. But Bumblebee and Spike are like, “Oh shit, that's Decepticons,” and they attempt to escape, badly. Uh, falling into the canyon with the Decepticons.

S: So the thing is, um, they- they get up close to the edge of the culvert and they look down and are like, “Oh shit, no, we got to leave,” and then Bumblebee just, freaking stands up and tries to transform and then they like--

O: And then they slide down.

S: And the thing is, he tries to transform in direct view the Decepticons and it's just like- what the hell?

O: Yeah, you couldn't go like 10 ft back from the edge where they, maybe, wouldn't have seen you or something?.

S: Yeah, and they just-- he slides down the edge of this freaking culvert.

O: I know it's like, floomph!  De- deposited right in the Decepticons laps basically.

S: Yeah, right at Megatron's feet and then, they're volun-told they're going to be Spacebridge volunteers. I still like volun-told.

O: I do too.

S: Shockwave informs Megatron it'll take 3000 Astro seconds until they can use the Spacebridge again.

O: What the fuck is an astro second?

S: I don't know, I mean, I think I tried doing math to figure out how many, like, minutes 3000 seconds was.

O: I want to say like, okay assuming it's a second, it's like 50 minutes or something?

S: Something like that which seems like it's a really long time--

O: And why would you count in seconds?

S: I don't know, they're dumb robots. I love them but they're dumb.

O: Anyway, so like they get shoved into the--the, uh, Spacebridge vehicle and somehow they escape, by Bumblebee transforming in the vehicle and they kind of bust out and I don't even, uh--why--urgh, it's just. Madness, is what it is. It's Madness.

S: Yeah.

O: They're running away and then Bee turns into a car and somehow Spike is keeping with Bee who is in car mode.

S: And I know a human can outrun a horse over a short distance but, not a car not something that can go like 60 miles per hour after 4 seconds, geez.

O: Operation: Capture, as Soundwave sends out Ravage to chase after these two idiots. Hello, Ravage, my beautiful son.

S: And then Spike trips.

O: Shocker.  Ah, Bee attempts an escape

S: The environment animation in the sequence is surprisingly good. Frankly, I want to know how much mon--moolah they spent on that.

O: [Laughter]  Or why. The why is the biggest question to me.

S: Yeah, seeing as it's a weird decision to animate this background because I don't think they do it again?

O: I don't think they do it very often if they do it later, so. Bumblebee hides in a cave, this fails because he climbs out and pops out right in front of Starscream and Megatron and then they hold him down and Megatron uses his brain sucking chest tentacle to alter Bumblebees’ memories. You heard me.

S: This might be some sort of, like, weird future reference to the Robo Smasher, but probably not, probably not.

O: I'm just saying, there was a tentacle involved.

S: Yep, and this is a grand scheme by the Decepticons to lure the Autobots into a trap.

O: This works.

S: At some point Sparkplug declares that Spike is not going to Robo Summer Camp AKA Cybertron. Never mind that his life is already basically robot summer camp, sooo...

O: All robots all the time.

S: Pretty much!

O: So, Prime is, somewhat apprehensive about going into a random cave but Bumblebee is apparently, “Never wrong, Prime,” according to Ironhide. Uh, and then lo and behold the Decepticons attack.

S: And wreak havoc upon this delicate cave ecosystem.

O: Okay, there's a lot to unpack in this scene, so let's go down some of the greatest hits. [clears throat]  1) Jazz is apparently excellent at baseball, as he home runs a laser blast back at Starscream with a stalagmite we- 2) we regret to inform you the new Ratchet toy comes with a handy bird capture net, which he captures Laserbeak with.

S: What does he even with it the rest of the time?

O: Captures patients?

S: I guess. [3)] And then bonk! The return of Bonk.

O: [Laughter] And 4) Megatron summons a buzzsaw from his hand, which he then shoots at Optimus Prime, naturally the only thing this does is it frees Prime from a tiny rock that was holding him captive and, last but not least [5)], Shockwave calls Megatron at an inopportune time to tell him his space bridge is ready.

S: Actually we could probably use this amount of time to calculate the amount of-- how long freaking astro seconds are.

O: Well, no, we can't because like, presumably we-we weren't with them the entire time--

S: Ohh...dammit, yeah.  Dammit. [sigh]

O: Uh, Megatron orders a retreat and Starscream says, “Starscream Retreat? Never!” Lying to himself and to the audience. In order to trap the Autobots in the cave Starscream assists Megatron in getting his rocks off to block the entrance. You heard me.

S: [Snickers] And the Autobots regroup and blast out of the cave except the rocks go in towards the cave- towards them instead of out. [sigh]  They had to save money somewhere.

O: After that like, amazing, uh, uh, environment animation. They're like, “Okay, just screw the rocks, man.”

S: And then Ratchet notices Bumblebees’ memories have been tampered with because part of Bumblebees chest armor is askew, or something. Soo, uh--

O: Ohhh, bad touch.

S: Yeah and I don't know he sort of shoots the stupid little laser beam--

O: He's like, “Oh yeah, there seems to be some tampering going on here.” Thanks Ratch.

S: And like fixes it and Bumblebee remembers the correct location of the Spacebridge.

O: Um,  so back at the Spacebridge, uh, now Shockwaves talking about minutes instead of Astro seconds, who explained Earth time to him?.

S: Maybe Thundercracker did? I don't know. Maybe one of the cassettes, maybe Ravage got on the horn?

O: [Laughter] Ravage is just like, “Listen, counting them in seconds is dumb.” Anyway, Spike is shoved back into the Spacebridge vehicle and they strap him in this time.

S: Aah, yes someone finally invented a freaking safety harness in this silly show and it's the Decepticons.

O: [Laughter]

S: The Autobots arrived and another fight breaks out.

O: This is the third freaking fight in a 20-minute cartoon.

S: Yep.

O: So, then, Ironhide almost shoots Spike, and Optimus actually does, but not before weirdly adjusting the barrel of his gun.

S: Like all camera lens. You know like one of those fancy macro lenses or something?

O: Yeah, like the ones that you twist and they go in or out.

S: Yeah because it's like he twisted and it--

O: And the front of the gun kind of does that--very strange.

S: Umm-hmm.

O: Anyway, Optimus Prime shoots the straps off Spike, allowing him to escape, being caught by Bee. Megatron enters the Spacebridge in an attempt to salvage the Energon shipment and gets caught up in the whirlwind created by the Spacebridge.

S: Merry go Megatron! That's honestly the first damn thing I thought of when we-- when we got to this bit.

O: Basically he's been picked up by the vortex and is getting like you know--

S: Whirled around--

O: In a circle and goes through the space Bridge.

S: Yep.

O: And he disappears. So um, Starscream proclaims himself the leader of the Decepticons.

S: And is followed by his exact duplicate.

O: The return of Mini-Me!

S: Twice the Starscream, double the Screech.

O: Truly Megatron's worst nightmare--nightmare has finally been realized.

S: Oh, and so apparently there's a thing where there's the Unicron singularity where like, Unicron, Primus, and the Thirteen Primes or whatever are a all, like, a universal constant. The death of Unicron causes like, all of these dumb animation errors and that's why they're there.

O: No! No!

S: I think it's so dumb-- apparently that's something that is, it's- it came from some sort of official source but take it as you will, I ignore it because I think it's silly.

O: Yep, oh, that's too silly even for me.  And I like most of the shit these idiots get up to. So, uh, Starscream orders of retreat. Now about what he said earlier, about never retreating.

S: Yep.  Oh hypocrisy Starscream-

O: You can't lead ant-oids!  

S: -It knows no bounds.

O: Clearly. So the Autobots celebrating defeating Megatron, for good. Mercifully, Optimus isn't so sure this time, so somebody learned something--

S: And--

O: Megatron's fine! He's just chilling on Cybertron. He'll get his revenge.

S: Like, Shockwave sounded happy when you showed up and yeah, as Megatron swears his revenge his eyes glow menacingly red.

O: Of course they do, because he's a Decepticon. All right, join us next time for the Transformers episode 5: Roll For It. In which case, we will get to see, uh, Ravage kidnapping a boy in a wheelchair and the introduction of Jet Judo.

S: Yep, it's a fan favorite in many many fanfics years later.

O: Also Soundwave reading a, like, teenagers mind. It's weird.

S: Yeah.

O: So, Spec's, what are our fanfics for the day?

S: Okay first up we have “Undercover” by Tirya King. It's in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated T, and it's General, so there aren't any pairings. Characters: Bumblebee and the G1 cast. In summary, “Sometimes it's not always the quiet ones. Sometimes it's the lovable cute one. Sometimes the least likely can be the most dangerous.” And our theme for this recommendation is Bumblebee being sneaky because--

O: He was attempting to be sneaky in the episode, he kind of failed, but he was attempting it.

S: Yeah, yeah. And so this one is a one shot because I figured I should keep track of whether it's One-Shots, complete, or an in-progress thing that's probably not going to be completed.

O: Ohh, that's a good idea.

S: So, yeah, our next one is “Insomnia” by KoiLungfish, based on the G1 cartoon continuity, it's rated T for teens, it's Gen so again no pairings, and our character for this one is Shockwave. “Shockwaves isolation on Cybertron is driving him insane.” This one's kind of a little, little darker, but ah, so our theme or character for this one is Shockwave and it's a One-Shot.

S: And then our next one is “Worlds Away” by WaywardInsecticon. It's part of the G1 cartoon continuity comic, K+, Gen, no pairings. So the characters? Well it focuses on the Decepticons and there's a few OCS, original characters. So, in summary, “Cybertron, the symbol of the Decepticon cause, is on a collision course with a star. There's a heavy con bias due to the characters involved just as a warning.” So this one, it's been a--quite a long time since I read this one but it's one that I enjoyed and it's part of a series's, actually but you can read it on its own. And part of the reason I included this one was Spacebridge shenanigans, with a “?.” But, it's basically about saving Cybertron which seems relevant to basically what's going on on Cybertron right now. And starving.

O: Fair enough.

S: But it's also complete, and it's one of Wayward’s older works so it’s- I think it's good? But your mileage may vary. And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check out our Tumblr at Afterspark-podcast[.]Tumblr[.]com for any additional information show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @Aftersparkpod, all one word, and SoundCloud and YouTube at Afterspark Podcast. Till next time.

O: This is been Afterspark Podcast.

S:Toodles!

[tanyatakaishi]

Innocent Games: the rewrite

Without a world to save, petty drama and circumstances have forced a rift between the digidestined. That is until they find themselves in a world shaped solely by their memories, without their partners, where the only monsters to face are themselves. I’m doing it. I’m posting the rewrite. I put it on A03 and after a lot of thought I decided to delete all the old chapters on ff.net. I replaced them with the rewritten version and will be reposting the entire thing over the next few months. You can read it here. Or, you can read on tumblr below. I hope to gain some new readers and have some of my favorite peeps return. :)  Post 02, ignoring the epilogue, pretending tri don’t exist. Rated M for language, upcoming violence and sexual innuendo. Dub ‘cuz dub.

Innocent Games

I've seen worlds.

Before I knew that others existed, before I was torn from mine and forced to save another. Before the Digital World, I was sure they existed.

As a child, my mind teemed with magical places: a world where I could fly, another where I constantly wore a suit of armor (even in the tub) and got everywhere by riding a horse. In one, everything was blue. So blue that I couldn't tell the earth from the sky from the ocean from myself. But my favorite world was the one formed by fading memories: where my brother and I still shared a tiny room and I didn't do much but cry. I remember it in pieces: the legos spread across the floor, Matt's foot in my face when I snuck into his bed and turned in the night, the way we'd run to shut the door when our parents kissed, pretending like we hated it.

I sometimes wonder about the world Oikawa brought us to. If there were a way to get back there, if all those worlds could exist in a world like that.

I used to wonder if I was the only one who wondered.

Now that I'm here, I don't wonder at all.

....

Chapter One Black Hole

...

i need u

The words had been sitting mockingly on his phone for more than an hour, waiting for a response.  Matt frowned, finally left with nothing to do but answer. His college essay sat on his brother's desk, covered with comments in red pen (too poetic, too vague, this should be a semi-colon not a comma) all written in skewed pillars of scratchy scrawl. His eyes slipped sideways, across piles of books and crumpled paper to the disheveled bed. An arm slumped over TK's face, but his knees were pointing toward the ceiling and every now and then he had to readjust his feet to keep them there. Patamon had curled into a nest of blankets by his side, long furry ears masking his face. Matt turned back to his phone and hammered out a line with his fingers. Hanging with my brother tonight.

bring him with

Is your sister coming?

no excuses

Matt could think of a hundred. Nope

i thought blondes had more fun  ¬_¬

With a verbal groan, Matt's fingers found the bridge of his nose. Tai's name blurred across the screen of his mobile. He set the phone face down and fiddled with a box of cigarettes nestled in his pocket, fingertips dancing along the few that remained.

“Better leave them there,” TK mumbled into his mattress. “Mom's gonna flip when she finds out you're smoking.” He lifted his head and Patamon squirmed in his sleep. “Who are you texting?”

Matt pulled out a cigarette anyway, letting it linger against his lips. “Tai.”

“You're not going to light that in here...”

“I'm going outside.”

“Better brace yourself. An hour lecture. Minimum.” TK watched as Matt stood. “You didn't tell her about Sora yet, did you?”

The cigarette bent between Matt's teeth.

“Make that two hours,” said TK.

come on! Mimis back. i told her every1 would be there b a friend and act suprised

With a sigh, Matt closed the balcony door behind him. His phone went off again.

man up. u cant avoid Sora 4ever

I'm not Matt stopped typing and his thumb jabbed into the backspace button, erasing his words. He shoved the phone in his pocket and lit his cigarette.

…

your gonna come cuz im irresitable

Does your phone not have spell check?

its not smart

Sora bit back a smile and rolled her eyes.

“Are you sexting?”

Her whole face flushed. “Omigod, no. Mimi.”

Noodles flopped in front of Sora's nose when Mimi pointed a pair of chopsticks at her. “You look like you're playing coy. Is it Matt?” Mimi grinned and the yakisoba retreated, sliding behind her pink lips with a loud slurp.

“Playing coy?”

Mimi spoke with one cheek full. “Pretending you don't like the sexting.”

“I am not sexting.”

“You and Matt don't sext?”

Sora put her phone down. “No! What if someone read it?”

“Who doesn't enjoy some steamy literature once in a while?”

“My mother.”

“She doesn't like Matt?”

“She doesn't like sexting,” Sora hissed. She hid her face behind her hand when an old couple was seated in the booth beside them. “You did hear me when I said we broke up, right?”

“I'd rather live in denial.” Mimi pouted when Sora glared. “Whyyyy? You guys are so cute together.”

That was true, she guessed. Every picture of them was gorgeous. Matt was perpetually handsome, even when he was at his worst. Did he have a worst, really? His frown practically oozed sex. That definitely wasn't his worst: the brooding crease by his cheekbones and narrowed frosty gaze. His smile certainly wasn't. It was bright and charming, even when he was all awkward and embarrassed and his cheeks burst into rosy splotches.

Sora closed her eyes when her phone chimed with a new message. “I don't know,” she said. “Maybe that's why.”

“Because you guys are cute...?”

“Because we...” A piece of chicken was speared through by her chopstick. “Because we're perfect together.” Sora concentrated on wrapping a single noodle around it. She swore she could hear Mimi's jaw drop.

“Well, that's stupid.”

Sora looked up and found Mimi's mouth had puckered, like she tasted something sour. Her eyes narrowed and Sora's narrowed right back. “Thanks.”

“Explain.”

Sora groaned. “It feels like we're always trying too hard. We never fight.” She sighed when Mimi raised her brows. “I mean about us. Our relationship. Shouldn't we fight about us sometimes?”

“You broke up with Matt because you guys don't fight about your relationship?”

“You're making it sound stupid.”

“I'm just repeating what you said.”

Sora flicked a straw wrapper at her and it barely fluttered. “I tried once. To fight with him. About the band. I acted like I was jealous of it, even though I wasn't.” She laughed and Mimi took another big bite of yakisoba. “He just looked at me, you know, like he was trying to get me and then he asked if he should quit.”

“Seriously?”

“Dead serious. He wasn't even mad. He said it didn't matter. Like music didn't matter more than me.”

“That's really sweet.”

“It's not. It's uncomfortable.” Sora poked at her food and everything seemed to rush out of her in one breath. “I'm always uncomfortable. When its just us, I get... he makes me nervous – my stomach hurts, sometimes I can't even breathe.”

“Sounds like a crush.”

“It's exactly like a crush.” Sora frowned. “For four years.”

Mimi swallowed another bite of noodles and stared at her, hard. “You broke up with Matt because you've had a crush on him for four years.”

“I just want to be friends again. I want to sit in a room with him while he plays guitar and not feel like I have to sing his praises. I want to work on a sketch without him telling me how beautiful it is. I want him to forget our anniversary. I want him to do something wrong.” Sora's eyes sunk to her uneaten meal and found a notification on her phone.

“You want someone less perfect.”

Nodding, Sora checked her messages. “I guess.”

sora you dissapoint me. i left u the perfect opening and u blew it. so u coming 2 the party or what?

“Do you want to go to this party Tai's bugging me about?” Sora asked.

Mimi beamed. “Who do you think convinced him to go?”

….

emergency meeting

“I call bullshit,” Davis grumbled.

The pew pew pew of the arcade shooter quieted when Yolei stopped her relentless button mashing to raise a brow at him. It shot up like a question mark beneath her lenses, glaring with the countless lights of electronics. “What?”

Leaning against the side of an old pinball machine, Davis lifted his phone so she could see the text on his screen.

Ken took out another couple zombies before racking up his arcade gun. Davis huffed when Ken's name outranked his in the high scores.

Pushing hair behind his ear, Ken pulled his cell from his back pocket. “I have the same text.”

Yolei hung up the gun she'd still been holding and grinned devilishly when her name climbed to the top of the screen. She flipped open her phone. “He sent it to all of us.

“It's bullshit,” Davis spat. “Guaranteed. Mimi's in town, scheming. She probably stole his phone.”

“It does say emergency,” said Ken.

“Wait. No, Davis is right. I think he's bluffing.” She pulled a crumpled piece of paper from her purse and attempted to smooth it. “Apparently Tai's class is lacking in graphic designers. I think someone did this in Paint. God awful.”

She held up a flyer covered in ridiculously drawn confetti and written entirely in Comic Sans. “The seniors are throwing a graduation party.”

Ken looked at his phone again. “Why would Tai invite underclassmen?”

“Because it's Tai,” said Yolei. “He likes attention.”

Davis frowned. “He's going to beat me up.”

“Oh please, he messaged all of us.”

“I'm not going,” said Davis. Bullshit, he typed.

u got me emergency party

And then a second later, dont worry, im not gonna beat u up

Davis leaned forward, peering suspiciously around the corner to find a bunch of elementary kids gathered around the latest version of DDR. No Tai. He held up a finger when Yolei tried to talk to him. Thanks, he wrote. It took him a while to hammer out the next line. Kari gonna be there? I need to talk to her.

maybe not

“What is that supposed to mean?” asked Yolei.

Davis flinched and shrugged his shoulder into her chin, nudging her away. “Stop reading my texts.”

“You were about to show it to me anyway.”

True, but he wasn't about to admit it.  “Mind your own business.”

“Please, your business is everyone's business.”

“No it's not.” Davis looked to Ken for back up and was let down by a shrug. “Shut up.”

“I didn't say anything,” said Ken.

Davis huffed and showed Ken his phone. “What is this supposed to mean?”

“I think he's being purposefully elusive.”

“So that I come? Or I don't? Maybe he forgot to leave me out of the message.”

“I doubt that,” said Ken.

“He knows it takes two to tango,” said Yolei.

“There was no tango-ing,” Davis snapped, trying not to sound disappointed. “We had a moment.”

“With your tongues. While she was dating TK.”

Davis reached into his hair to fiddle with his goggles before he remembered they were missing. He could still picture them, nestled in Kari's hair. He crossed his arms. “I know, I know. I'm an asshole.”

“You just weren't thinking,” said Ken.  If it had come from someone else, Davis would've taken it as an insult, but Ken did this thing with his voice that was eerily soothing.

“Was that Kari's excuse?” Yolei's eyes went all squinty, the same way they did whenever she took off her glasses. Davis sorta wanted to steal them so she always looked that stupid.

“It was a moment,” he repeated.

She was already ignoring him, fingernails clicking against buttons as she hammered out her own texts at breakneck speed.

Davis pouted at Ken and returned to Tai's message. It must have taken him a good five minutes to write back, because Ken was already winning against the next round of computer zombies.  Tell her to come. I'll be good. You can even chaperone us.

His phone gave a pleasant chirp in return.

as if u had a choice

Davis started to respond when Yolei's voice squealed, “Oh! We're doing makeovers at Sora's!”

“We?” he asked.

“For the party. With Mimi. The girls,” Yolei said. Before Davis could open his mouth again, she looked up from her phone to glare at him. “Kari's not coming.”

He frowned. “Crap.”

Ken gave him a small smile. “Whack-a-mole?”

“How'd ya guess?”

…

emergency meeting

Green eyes scanned the words through thin metal bars. Ripping off his glove, Cody typed a quick reply. Where?

His fingers tapped impatiently on the end of a shinai while he waited for a response. “Sorry, sensei.”

Removing his helmet, Chikara Hida gave a wave of dismissal and kicked back a swig of prune juice. His white beard came back glistening around a smile, wrinkles kissing the corners of his cheeks. “How is the Digital World these days?”

“Peaceful.” Cody pulled off his own helmet and pushed strands of damp hair from his eyes. He looked over his shoulder to where Upamon was happily playing with his own mini shinai, his oversized ears swinging it around with strange precision. Cody's attention turned back to his phone and it felt suddenly heavy in his hand. “It's been a long time since we've had a meeting.”

“We haven't seen anyone since I've been back,” complained Upamon, suddenly dropping his weapon. He bounced across the dojo floor and flew into Cody's back, forcing him forward. “Are we having a meeting?”

“Sounds like it.” His phone chimed and he peered down at the new message.

Bullshit, it said. A tiny avatar bursting with burgundy hair appeared beside it. Davis was grinning behind his goggles and shooting up what he must have thought was some sort of American gang sign.

Cody squinted at his phone, watching as Tai and Davis messaged back and forth.

“Is everything all right?” his grandfather asked.

“False alarm,” Cody answered flatly. He gave Upamon's head an affectionate pat and typed out a quick message of his own.

Davis, you're in a group text.

His phone chimed again.

Fuck

…

Ba-ding.

Ba-ding. Ba-ding.

Ba-ding.

The phone slid under a pillow and a body slid under the sheets, further and further until it was just a ball at the foot of the bed. It gave a pitiful moan. “Please stop.”

A door creaked open. “You could turn it off.”

The lump shook, a pathetic vibrating that only ended when the smoothly tucked corners of the the comforter were yanked out from under the mattress, uncovering it.

Susumu Kamiya sat on the bed and gave his daughter's hair a rub. Chestnut strands stuck in every direction, clinging to the sheets.

Kari pulled the covers back over her head. “I messed everything up,” she moaned, wiping damp cheeks into her mattress. “Even Tai's mad at me.”

“He's not mad at you, honey. He's just brothering.” Susumu laughed, just a little snort of appreciation at his own humor. “You know, like mothering, but he's your broth—”

“Got it, Dad,” Kari moaned.

“Anyway, you didn't mess everything up. You're in high school, Kari. This isn't time for a serious relationship anyway.”

“You mean any relationship.”

“That's my girl.”

Ba-ding.

Susumu's hand reached and slipped under her pillow. He started scrolling through her messages.

Kari peeked from under the covers. “Dad!”

“You don't want to read that. Or that.” He stretched his arm away from her grabbing hand. “Protecting my daughter's virtue is my dadly duty. Please.”

Kari found her nose smushed under his palm. “Stop looking at my—”

“Definitely not that. Wow. I'm gonna have a talk with his mother about that language. Oh here.” Susumu released her face and handed her the phone. A row of texts had appeared, all accompanied by a grinning picture of Mimi Tachikawa, who (courtesy some good trick photography) seemed to be sporting Lady Liberty's crown.

“You should go have fun with the girls,” Susumu said. “Get out of the house.”

Kari looked up from her phone and frowned. “Stop fathering me.”

“Too late.” He patted her knee with a boyish grin. “Did that a long time ago.”

….

im here. ur mom made dinner. its delish

“Mmmmm, Mrs. Izumi,” Tai mumbled through a mouthful of dumplings, “dese are amadin'.” He grabbed another between his fingers and offered it to Joe, who sat awkwardly beside him, knees knocking into the Izumi's coffee table.

Joe peered over his glasses at the food, moist in Tai's palm. “Let's leave some for Izzy.”

Shrugging, Tai popped it in to join the others. The bedroom door opened.

“Iddy!” Tai swallowed. “Can I have your mom?”

Izzy's eyes, dark and lined with heavy shadows, flickered to the kitchen where his mother was putting together another plate. His attention turned back to Tai who seemed to be waiting for a serious answer. “No.”

“I have some fresh bok choy and garlic,” Mrs. Izumi said, carrying a tray into the living room. The smell preceded her and Tai's mouth started to water.

“Trade?”

Izzy ignored him and turned his attention to Joe. “I'm going to make an educated guess and conclude the emergency's a farce.”

“This is why I don't add you to group texts,” Tai grumbled. “You ruin all the fun.”

Mrs. Izumi set the bok choy on the table and Tai quickly snatched some up with his chopsticks, thanking her through a loud slurp. “Would you boys like anything to drink?” she asked.

“Could I take my dinner in my room?”

“Oh, well, of course, Izzy, but,” Mrs. Izumi seemed to hesitate, her hands wringing together, “don't you want to take a break?”

“I want to show them what I've been working on,” he said, rubbing a tired eye. “I'll go to bed after that.”

“No way, emergency meeting, Izzy.”

Izzy set his eyebrows until they looked like a big bushy V and Tai grimaced.

“Is everything all right?”

“Everything's fine, Mom. Don't worry.”

“Okay, I'll just put this all on a tray for you. Tai, Joe, are you staying for—”

“No,” Izzy said. “They have a party to go to.” He pulled open his door, motioning for them to step inside.

“Aw man,” Tai moaned, slumping into Izzy's office chair. His neck craned backwards, making it seem as if his large mop of hair was weighing him down. “Killjoy, that's what you are. I coulda boxed that up and taken it home for later. Do you know how hard it is to get a good meal at my house?”

Izzy pushed the chair so that it rolled away from his desk, Tai flopping with it. An array of screens were running in black and white, with code so tiny that Tai had squint his eyes to make out any of it.

“So what's got you too busy to make it to my graduation party? This is like a once in a lifetime opportunity, Izzy.”

“No one went to mine,” interjected Joe, stretching his legs as he sat on Izzy's bed. “Including me.”

“Wrong.” Tai snapped his fingers. “I went to yours.”

Izzy tapped a couple of lines into the screen, his dark eyes running back and forth to double check his work. He looked haggard. His red hair was long again, sticking out in every direction in greasy clumps. Tai was about to ask when he'd last thought to take a shower when he spoke up.

“I'm replicating the data that existed in the world MaloMyotismon brought Davis's team into.”

Tai sat up straight and used his feet to roll the chair forward. His eyes danced over the screens. “You mean Whoop-ass Wishing World?”

“That's what you named it?” Joe asked.

Tai gave a shrug. “Davis did. Made sense.”

“WWW.” Izzy's top lip curled with a hint of amusement, fingers still flying across the keys. “Because of it's connection to the Digital World, I've actually managed to extract a quantitative code that could potentially give us the power to create tangible spaces with the images in our brains: memories, dreams...”

Joe gave a heavy swallow. “You're kidding.”

“Not at all,” groaned a voice beside his rear.

Joe jumped, literally taking off across the room with a hand clutched over his breast when Tentomon appeared from under the covers.

“He's been working on it all night,” Tentomon moaned, green digital eyes flickering sleepily. “And all day. And the night before that and the night before that...”

“So what you're saying is”—Tai gave a big grin and rolled up, bumping the back of the chair into Izzy's legs—“he needs a break. A party perhaps?”

Izzy was already shaking his head. “I'm not going, Tai. Do you have any idea what a breakthrough like this could mean? We can dream up”—he started to look a bit manic— “endless possibilities. This could mean a world of unlimited resources... we can literally create an entire world of unlimited resources.”

“You must have weird dreams.”

“He has no time for dreams,” yawned Tentomon. “Never sleeps.”

“Izzy, Izzy, Izzy,” Tai tsked. He stood and threw an arm around his shoulders. “You gotta know when to quit. This isn't healthy, is it, Joe?”

Joe was already busy picking up an assortment of empty tea bottles from the floor. “I hope you're drinking water.”

Izzy lifted his shadow-rimmed eyes to Tai's, squinting. “Breakthrough.”

“Is this why you missed my soccer game Friday?” Tai pouted when Izzy gave a shrug. “You wound me.”

A knock disturbed them and Mrs. Izumi slowly opened the door with a tray of food in her arms. There was enough for all of them even though they weren't staying. “It's so nice to see you boys,” she said when Izzy quickly turned back to his screen. “It's been too long.”

Tai deflated. “College applications, ugh.”

In truth, they were only half the problem. It had been more than six months since he had attempted to get the group together.  The older they got, the more complicated everything seemed to get. School was a given, relationships were just, ugh, drama... heck, even soccer was crazy. A quarter of the team was stressing over college scouts. Tai was over it. He hated complicated – the stress, everything--it was easier to avoid it.

“Just wait until you're in college,” groaned Joe. “I don't even know why I'm here.”

“Easy.” Tai grinned. “Me.”

Mrs. Izumi smiled. “I can't believe how much you've all grown.” She set the tray down and the fingers on her hand twitched, just behind her son's red hair. It lowered suddenly when Izzy began to plug in another line of a code and Tai noticed the way her smile stretched when her eyes filled with tears.

Joe must have noticed too, because he started fumbling with his armful of empty bottles and excused himself, bolting out of the room to throw them into the recycling bin.

Izzy immediately stopped typing and turned to her. “I can't speak for Tai, but I'd deduce my growth has a lot to do with your incredible cooking.” He rubbed one tired eye and forced a grateful smile.

“Please speak for me,” Tai said, swiping yet another dumpling. He internally breathed a sigh of relief when Mrs. Izumi's face lit up, tears shining.

“I really appreciate it,” Izzy continued. Pink welled into his cheeks when she kept smiling. “Thanks, Mom.”

Her voice came out sweet and strangled. “You're welcome, sweetheart. You boys let me know if there is anything else I can get you.” The door closed after Tai caught her wiping her eyes.

He turned to Izzy. There was a brief moment unspoken between them, a concern Tai wasn't sure how to voice: What's going on? Why is your mom crying? Are you okay?

Izzy turned back to his screen and Tentomon buzzed into the side of his leg, a not so subtle nudge. He leaned down to grab a dumpling from his partner's outstretched claw.

“I'll call you when I've reached a stopping point,” Izzy said before taking a bite. His mouse clicked once, twice, and then he reached backwards without looking and rolled the office chair back in front of the desk. He took a seat and clicked again.

“Okay, I get it.” Tai shoveled a mound of food into his palm for the road. “You're on a roll. Breakthrough. Yeah, call me when you decide to be cool again.”

“A breakthrough that could theoretically save the world.”

“Meh. Already did that. Literally.” Tai put one last dumpling on his pile. “You make sure he gets a shower later, eh Tentomon?”

Izzy frowned while Tentomon gave an obedient salute.

Tai's fingers danced by his head in a weak imitation of Medusa's snakes. “Your hair, Izzy, geez. Shower! Water, food... life!” He tore into the dough with his teeth and spoke through a mouthful of pork. “You know Mimi's gonna be there, right?”

There was another light flush in Izzy's cheeks and Tai felt triumphant.

“Tell her I said hello,” Izzy mumbled before taking his own bite of food. “How long is she in town?”

“A week, I think.” Tai gave a shrug and headed for the door. “Life,” he hissed, backing out of the room. “La-iiife.” He could have sworn he saw Izzy start to laugh, just the slightest shake of his shoulders.

Joe almost ran into his back. “Where are you going?”

Tai popped another piece of food into his mouth. “To da pardy.”

“What, that's it? You aren't going to drag him out by the collar and call him a pansy?”

“Nope.”

Joe glared through his lenses. “Yet it's perfectly acceptable to do to me?”

“Can't do it to Izzy.” Tai slapped him between the shoulders of his collared shirt, hard. “He's got a backbone.”

…

The screen had gone blurry long before he finally quit. Izzy's face lowered onto the keyboard, crushing keys. Blank lines entered beneath the cursor until there was nothing left but black. It took a minute before he realized he'd fallen asleep.

Izzy peeled his sticky cheek from the back of his hand and robotically erased the lines until he was back to a screen full of code. He rubbed his eyes but the numbers wouldn't focus. Yawning, he saved his work and rolled his chair backwards.

“Shower,” he mumbled, still hearing Tai's voice chiming cheerfully in his ear.

It had been a long time since Tai had been by.

Maybe it just felt long. Time didn't pass normally when he was working. Obsessing, Tentomon would say worriedly from his usual position on his bed. The digimon spent the rest of his time in the kitchen with his mom, worrying. Izzy cast a look over his shoulder as he trudged tiredly to the hall, catching the digimon snoring beneath the covers. Guilt crawled into his belly and he slowly closed the door behind him.

Izzy tried to shake it off. It would be over soon. The program was complete. It was riddled with bugs, a million different glitches that he couldn't seem to figure out, but the essence was there. The power to create, just waiting for his fingertips.

Turning on the water seemed mundane, infinitesimal in comparison to everything he could be doing. Necessary only because he was, unfortunately, still very human.

Izzy stared at himself in the mirror, his red hair was greasy and wild from endless frustrated tugs and long enough that it looked a miniature version of Tai's gravity defying mane. He attempted to smooth it and it stuck to his scalp in kinky waves. He gave himself a small sniff and his nose crinkled with disgust.

Sighing, he stripped and stepped into the shower. Code danced across his closed eyes, burnt permanently into his retinas, while the screen in his room slowly ate it away.

Inside his computer, the numbers collapsed. Code slipped from all sides of the monitor, funneling to the center of the screen. The whole room flashed, a distortion of a pixels, just a glimpse into the world beyond. Then everything went silent.

Months of work lost and in its wake, a black hole, just waiting for something else to come close.