#i knew i shouldn't have capped myself off at 3 of these bc now i want to make more lol

[banamaak]

when my life was nothing more than the tick tock of the wall clock, i knew i must, i must, i must love insanely. 

— azadeh heidari (3/?) 

i. heiran (2009) dir. shalizeh arefpour // ii. through heaven’s eyes, brian stokes mitchell // iii. gabbeh (1996) dir. mohsen makhmalbaf // iv. divan i shams, rumi // v. iftar (breaking fast) (2020) dir. mike mosallam // vi. reddit thread by user beezle // vii. the breadwinner (2017) dir. nora twomey // viii. adonis, beginnings of the body, ends of the sea, trans. khaled mattawa // ix. about elly (2009) dir. asghar farhadi // x. the gift, hafez // xi. window, forugh farrokhzad 

[slimschance]

Sunday - 26/05/24

9:00am

feeling full so i might just not eat till dinner/tomorrow 👍 my dad questioned me on why i don't want breakfast though ermm

anyway! my uncles finally replied so i might just be doing the ≈12k step walk . 1 issue, my nans off to hospital tomorrow so we're all visiting her, but the times might run over

just sat on my arse currently, watching memeulous. fun

12:14am(?)

just broke my "fast", it was only meant to be till 1am but my greedy arse broke it at 12 with 3 peanut M&M's... the fast was what, 18.5 hours? people who skip breakfast and have early dinners do that daily, thats nothing. fuck that

anyway, am watching hollyoaks, dave is in a beyond fucked situation

6:42pm

just ate chinese, i feel both full and guilty 👍 though i felt faint at one point earlier so at least im eating,, but still. the food was lush but i didn't get to enjoy it cos i was so worried about the cals since the foodsplace doesn't say em, then, the cals seemed low for takeaway so i added some oil to my tracker

anyway, no walk today as there was a storm, we'll do it tomorrow, and i visited my nan. familys so important for me so i'm glad i could make it. i watched a bit of lorax since that was on TV, apparently it's ≈11 years old now? yikes

still... no exercise is terrible ffs. glad i'll have the home to myself most daytime so i can do as much exercise as i need!

now i'm in bed chewing gum, i should exercise but my mind keeps telling me no because i just ate and the springs in my bed are both noisy and painful to my hands and back. when family's home i can only exercise on my bed. anyway, i don't think i'm gonna eat anymore today, i really shouldn't, so here's the log

although i didn't set any goals today, i did go way under my cals! (limit 650, capped at 715) i partly think it's bc i didn't have a strict number and rather just the thought to "keep it low", but skipping breakfast helped times ten for sure, i think i might do that every day this week holiday + then every other day each week - excluding exams, since i need the food then.

oh! some good news, all my so...? spray just arrived, and i just opened my sylvanian family toy from earlier in the week, so i'll show my fave perfume-body mist combo and my cute sylvanian x

look at her arms bro, shes so funny so i love her

for some reason the quality's dodge, my bad! i actually think its the shitty lighting but nevermind.

anyway

SO...? Pink Grapefruit body mist and Calvin Klein (ck) IN2U match so nicely, i found this out accidentally when using my (then) new favourite grapefruit spray with mum's perfume. i knew my juicy couture daily perfume didn't match the grapefruit spray so i'd be wasting the JC if i used it. so after a few days of stealing mum's i realised IN2U matched so nicely! i continued to use it and continued to notice it matching well, few days on i decide to search the scent profile, and it has grapefruit in it! thats why they paired well. so since, thats one of my go to combos.

also, if i ever want to smell pure edible, i use coconut body butter, vanilla oil on my blazer collar, either vanilla or coconut body mist, and a perfume with vanilla. makes me wanna bite into myself but also makes me soo sweaty legged if i apply too much butter, i need to use some sort of applicator i'm just lazy 😅 might just buy a coconut body milk instead and skip the hassle of the oily layer left with body butter

11:54pm

i've been scrolling online forums and making character diets for a few hours now. gonna sleep