#i knew itd be long i needed a little recharge

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

Minami anon x5 YEAH FOR REAL to everything….. The way Majima treats his men is very. Hrm. I saw a good essay about it before regarding how Majima after going through the abuse he's faced only Knows / understands how to project that same sentiment with the most obvious example being Nishida who has almost like a looney tunes esque dynamic with him. And how that later goes on to talk about Majima associating Minami who is extremely clearly trying to emulate him with Sagawa + Shimano which led to like the disconnect in their relationship. Idk if ive tldlred that very well but yeah. It was very Majima centric though which makes me wish it talked abt more how Minami views the situation because again I do very much think it’s just a case of Minami wanted to do Somebody and he ultra latched onto the first person he saw that was That. Very like duckling following the leader. He most likely has no idea what the hell baggage Majima has and just continues viewing this act he's put on in such a glamourised revered light. The Cycle Of hell continues and continues forever. I feel like you could even make an argument Abt the like never wanting to accept defeat thing as another emulation of Majima who like very famously Just Keeps Trucking Along and Never Lets Up. Also so real about the tidbit abt the junior leader like it really just feels like something they made up out of the blue but it’s fine it’s just his now……. I agree that Minami very much does not give me like patriarch vibes I feel like nothing about him screams a person who wants to *the* most important- Its why I word it as like Minami wants to be SOMEBODY, but not the somebody who has all of the responsibilities and the stress that comes with being in the super hardcore major leagues- again, going back, a very sort of Immature or Young person kind of attitude to have. Also okay I thought it was both kinda hilarious and sad How the guys in the karaoke scene didnt want to be there 😭😭😭 really just feels like they were Dragged along because “why not” / because Minami is seemingly more carefree about things. I'd love to see him interact w just like the normal ppl of kamurocho or if he like worked at the construction site with his fellow coworkers like are they immediately put off or find him annoyingly pleasant enough. Idk if i have anythin to say abt it but i also LOVE ur tags and the idea of Minami putting himself through hell willingly to be as strong as majima garghghgghghg….. also its okay if ur actually sick for real like w a cold I hope u get better soon !!! Ironically i also have a minor cold so JWJJDJDEJ

we are so back......... you and me anon... we are both sick in the exact same ways (brainrot included)

I looooove the terrible recycling dynamic of abuse from Majima to his men and that sounds really evil but i mean like. its an extremely interesting and Real Thing to portray (completely on accident!) and explore. and i can't even act like i'd be better if i were him sometimes. i know damn well his boys are incompetent (everyone on earth is) and/or pains in the ass (definitely Aratani, probably Minami, but he dont mean it) and physical violence is part of their way of life in this fictionalised mega-gang. in a twisted way violence is more than just that, it's the solution to everything, it's the crux of everything, it's care for those who need to be able to stick up for themselves to survive and it's also a burden by way of Fighting Game Protagonist Syndrome. at the end of the day the abuse is still abuse, but you see some interesting perspectives with this kind of framework in that world..... including folks who'd enthusiastically participate in the looney-tunes Slapsticked role, like my take on Minami. Nishida too, but i don't think he's enthusiastic, just begrudgingly accepting of things...

i know the EXACT post youre talking about and i completely understand being Majima-focused in these kinds of rants cause he's the one with all the interesting shit going on and yknow. canonical character depth...... i try my best to not get sidetracked but Majima intrigues me as much as the people around him.... they made him and his relationships both fun and fascinating. to keep it Minami ways you'd probably be saying some real no-shit-sherlock shit "wow that's so tragic for him" or you'd get into HC and made up shit territory, like me ^_^ teehee

Speaking of Aratani, i think he's a good example of someone who actually wants the patriarch seat. the pursuit of power is like his whole deal. Gets considerable focus and text(dialogue) acknowledgement. Minami's whole deal is being goofy, he just also so happens to have considerable power both physically and in the yakuza hierarchy..... bullshit as his role may very well be......... and it's only barely noticed. the pros of being a joke i spose. he's treated, and acts, too nonchalant to give me the impression of gunning for the top. with the existence of other Majimagumi men like Aratani to compare, that just exasperates it for me. he wants to be cool, and that's all

and yknow what..... the fun thing is...... is that Majima gets stories told about him. they get told all over. so much so that resident under-rock-dweller Kiryu hears about them. Minami doesn't know shit from fuck about his boss but i bet he eats those stories the fuck up. true or not, Majima's prowess speaks volumes on it's own... he's the Boss for a Reason..... stories get told about people who Matter. he'd totally be all over that. Wanna Be Somebodyism is terminal and it's got him by the balls. too bad he's not destined to be anybody more than a side character in this series!

oh well..... that's what i'm here for. side characters come get your heads smacked hands kissed and existence acknowledged, possibly all three if you're silly enough

[deeeelightfuldee]

survey by lateralligator

energizer battery

What brings you joy (what lights up your life)? benny, my nephews/niece, laughing with mom, sleepless in seattle & bobs burgers, thunderstorms, Christmas time, a good book, comfy pjs, good food, board games

If you had endless energy and stamina, how would you spend your days? I would probably be jazzed about working out (looooool) and would get up at like 5 am and do all the things.

What mental or physical space do you go when you want to recharge or relax? drives on my own with music on the radio and windows down. 

When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? What happened? oof.man it has been some time. everyone is so sad lately. 

bellyache | butterflies What disgusts you? | What makes you feel repulsed? spiders, those who sexually assault, those who physically abuse, those who mentally abuse, manipulators, liars, that feeling when you know your world is about to crash and you can’t stop it

How do you want to be treated/cared for when you are physically ill? OOOOO i love this. I love being checked up on (send me texts) and I love not having to worry about making food. When I was in horrible clusters during a relationship I would often just want to snuggle up next to my (then)bf and watch movies and play games 

How do you cope with physical and/or mental hardship? typically I just work through it on my own. 

Did you have/use a comfort object as a child (do you continue to have one)? I had a blankie that I loved so much and a doll.

carbon monoxide detector | fire extinguisher How do you know/what are the clues that you are at verge of a breakdown? hmm. when I stop feeling shocked/upset. when I first found out about kile back months ago, my big breakdown came from when I was just like numb.

When was the last time you said something you regret? What did you say? ummm, i am unsure

How do you let go when you know it is time? im dealing with that tonight actually. I have been talking to kile lately because hes going through some really horrible things and he has meant so much so me for so long and when you love someone like that, you want to do anything to see them OK. but every single day its like I’m realizing how much this is destroying me. He is nothing like the guy I knew and he is totally oblivious to how different things are and how he talks to me now. I am legitimately wrecking myself to try and separate my feelings from him and talking makes it so hard and then tonight it was just such a huge reminder that he is not the person I knew for so long. He doesn’t talk to me tenderly, he has these HUGE opinions on things that are so different from the Kile I knew.. idk. its not my kile anymore. I’m finally realizing that things between us have officially died. so now im letting go, but mourning over the relationship i used to have with him. I swear it feels like im making that closeness up.

If you could describe CALM as a place, what features would it have? itd be a room with big windows that are cracked open and curtains blowing in the breeze of a thunderstorm rolling in. it’d be a big comfy couch and blankets and pillows and a good movie or book. It’d be a sleeping dog and cat lounging about the room and a fire in the fireplace. 

faulty door handle | baby blanket What does it mean for you to open up to another human being? holy cow its a big frickn deal. I wish I wasnt this closed off. its something I want to work on. I can count literally on 3 fingers the number of people I’ve ever truly opened up to and that fact alone makes me want to crumble. 

When was the last time you fell asleep on someone else's shoulder? i would love to do that but I have never.

Who makes you feel unconditionally loved, no strings attached? um. hm.

How do you know when you love someone (any kind of love)? when I’m in love I get this like.. feeling that comes over me that is like wow, he means so much to me and I want to do what I can to make his life better. Its like the feeling when I can picture a life with that person. its when I feel safe

moonlight | lightning bugs | the end (lights out) What do you tend to get carried away with? talking about neuro

Describe the last dream you can recall having. Kile’s parents called me up because he was in the hospital after being in an accident and he had really extensive injuries and was refusing to take care of himself. they said he kept asking for me but was too stubborn to contact me (psh). and so I flew out there and then to make a very long detailed story short, I basically became his caretaker until he was able to handle it again.

Where do you want to end up (physically living, mentally feeling)? on a plot of land with beautiful trees and grass and animals and a nice porch, sitting next to a man I love and watching our kiddos. I want to remain happy.

Do you believe we have souls; do you believe in a life after death? yes and yes.

When was the last time you felt that the stars had aligned in your favor? goodness. umm probably finding out I had the credits for 2 degrees instead of 1

Can you identify any of the constellations in the sky? the big and little dippers

What are your hopes for tomorrow? that ill get to play board games and have a good homecooked meal and that I’ll finally get the box I need to pack up all my kile things :( so sad but so necessary. 

Who do you hope to be ten years from now? In what ways the same or different? I want to remain kind and loving and I want to be better about letting people in and allowing love.