#i know i havent written in a while i don't expect anyone to remember

[abluescarfonwaston]

Is my writing style actually that strange?

[rigelmejo]

So I haven't posted in a while. Little updates:

I finished arc 1 of Guardian in chinese again. So now I wont feel bad reading the book 1 english translation.

I took a break from chinese for a while then came back to read. And its interesting to me how much is stored like "2nd level down" in my memory. I don't recall words when trying to talk, after a long enough break. But I start reading, and my brain subvocalizes the hanzi and I can recall this Gist General Meaning of the words. Some words I recall their meaning and all, some just an overall general idea. But I havent forgotten much, nothing totally forgotten, and then most of the details of words come back within an hour or reading. Its surprising to me that reading chinese, memory wise, seems a LOT like reading french. I didnt expect it to be quite as similar a process. But it seems that remembering hanzi Words is as permanent as remembering french word stems/endings (or english ones). Reading skills have long staying power, and don't degrade much even with long breaks between usage. This is Excellent news. Since I don't have time to study much for the next several months, so I'm glad reading skills will stay as good as they are Or Improve if I read, without needing maintenance study. I'd like to improve my listening skill too, because being able to understand audiobooks would increase the chinese novels I could get through that I want to read (audiobooks would be faster than reading). But I dont have time yet for listening reading combo study, and time will tell if i do that activity WHEN and IF listening skills also gradually solidify then become reliable so one can study more sporadically and still see improvement.

My french skills are. Fascinating. I havent purposely studied in like over 5 years. I dont get that much French exposure (my google is in french but tbh google email and notifications do not use a big variety of words). But I've noticed a dramatic improvement in listening skills. My french reading skills have been fine for years. Theyre at a level where I can read like a high schooler: so i can read fiction for adults, but some words or literary devices go over my head and I have to just guess, the more in depth text analysis of themes might be a challenge, but just getting the story/information/most details is fine. I havent had to limit what i read in french in ages. Its just a matter of in french i feel like i did in high school where some fiction makes me "think hard" to grasp some points, versus english where i dont run into needing to Think Hard like that unless I'm reading something written pre-1800s. Anyway my point is: reading skills have been stable a while in french. Listening skills have markedly improved despite very little purposeful practice. I think I should probably start listening to podcasts or audiobooks some point soon. Through scattered listening to B1 and B2 comprehensible audio on youtube, and french shows, im to a point where if the audio has visual context i can follow everything going on and learn new words pretty easy. So now its just listening to french when i have no visuals to rely on, that's a struggle. I remember a few years back, i could not listen to french shows id just get confused, i needed the subtitles to follow anything. My ears mustve gotten used to french or just gotten used to Listening Better to things. Anyway, if i start trying and French Listening Only materials ill mention some progress.

Anyone have any french audiobooks or podcasts/fiction story podcasts they enjoy???

Japanese. also in a weird place. ToT. My biggest hurdle isnt even japanese: its being too chicken to challenge myself. I can play Yakuza Ishin in japanese and follow the main idea and objectives and main points in scenes. Yet i have NOT played more cause it feels Draining to grasp all that info from context and im lazy. I know if i watch a show in only japanese, with japanese subtitles, i know enough to grasp the main plot. But im lazy and its a LOT of effort to see the japanese subtitles and match new sounding words with kanji and try to remember the new pronunciation AND pay attention to the brand new plot. So i fall back onto english subs. I KNOW i can read japanese novels with a click dictionary, its just such SLOW reading, and if i just read while listening and Guess all unknown words its mentally exhausting even though its faster. I even have the easy peasy Glossika Japanese audio to listen to, but im still on lesson 36 because i have to Pay Full Attention when i listen to new lessons and im too lazy to listen with full attention ToT. I can watch lets plays in japanese, i understand them, but the effort of focusing is so much MORE than it would take if i just went to watch an english lets play where i can just hear in the background and follow it fine not even looking at it.

I am at a POINT in japanese where I CAN just learn by doing now! Which is huge! Its an incredibly useful milestone to be at! And makes future study, in the long run, much less daunting to plan as it can become just Do Stuff In Japanese to study. But since im at the beginning of this Comprehend Enough to Learn More from Context phase... learning new stuff from context still takes SO MUCH EFFORT. ITS SO DRAINING. Paying enough attention to comprehend things ive studied is exhausting, paying extra attention to new stuff and guessing what it means is draining and requires a Lot of focus. I know this is just how this stage goes but. Im so lazy.

What i need is something in japanese im SO interested in, that it drives me to engage with it even though I'm drained because im so Curious and Interested in understanding, so i push through until comprehending gets easier. Ideally, a game or show, something that plays so i am Forced to frequently proceed to the next sentence. Because with books and manga i will just stop and dwell on a paragraph for 2 hours and not learn much new stuff.

This stage is especially grating because im not in the stage with french or chinese anymore. I can listen to chinese shows in the background, check my phone while listening, not use the chinese subtitles, pay half attention while drawing. Chinese audiobooks require More attention, but i can listen to them walking or driving without subtitles/transcript and still follow the plot. With french Im to that same comfortable point with shows and youtube videos, not audio only stuff yet but i dont Engage with french audio only stuff. My point is Japanese is the only one where Im really feeling that INTENSE FOCUS drain whenever i try to engage with challenging new stuff in japanese. I dont feel an intense drain with chinese unless I read one of my harder reading level Print Novels or a higher vocab audio only material. I dont feel it with french unless Im doing it with audio only material. I feel the drain constantly with japanese.

[javisjeanjacket]

The Phantom Menace Drunk Re-Watch

A/N: y’all asked for more reviews and I am here to serve. :) also THE HORSE IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL CAN I GET A HELL YEAH YOU KNOW I HAD TO CELEBRATE SOMEHOW!!

I am already regretting re-watching this god awful movie but i can’t do maul dirty

there are spoilers for phantom menace in this list but like...its been out for 21 years. if you havent seen it yet what the fuck are you doing

Jesus christ this thing is 2 hours long fuck me

Starting the opening crawl off with a bunch of high brow political information was a BOLD move at best

Obi-Wan "I have a bad feeling about this." Kenobi

YESS OBI AND QUI FUCK EM UP BOIS

Okay okay wait so around 7 minutes into the movie they have a standoff with two droidekas and the droidekas are kicking their asses and so they escape and then somehow just zoom out of the frame?? like they don't walk they're just pulled by some kind of force??? 1999, man

Obi: "The negotiations were short" what a smug ass bitch i love it

"A communications interruption can only mean one thing-invasion" dude what the hell that can not be the case. have you checked the wifi router my guy

Oh fuck I forgot jar jar binks is in this movie get me another beer

also who plays jar jar?? becauseeee I just want to talk. why would you do this to us

That cheek blubbering shaking he does?? JAIL. I AM ABSOLUTELY PUTTING YOU UNDER ARREST STOP RIGHT NOW

Do you think the phantom menace was for the prequels what rise of skywalker was for the sequels in terms of disappointment in the theater

So fun fact about me I have a horrible fear of the ocean and water in general so this whole underwater sequence is literally making my skin crawl

Naboo is vaguely reminiscent of rivendell from lord of the rings I said what I said

While I do respect how much effort they put into the political side of this movie's plot I feel like it's kind of getting in the way tbh

HELL YEAH FIGHT SCENE IN THE HANGAR BAY

"hello boyos." Me trying to flirt

What makes me emo is knowing that R2 was there for literally everyone's adventures and he saw it all and he knows it all but he can't tell anyone :(

MAULLLLLL HELLO SIR ITS V NICE TO SEE YOU

Jar jar is the 8th circle of hell

How tall is Natalie Portman?? because standing next to Liam neeson she looks like she's about 3 feet 4 inches

Anakin's first words to Padme: "are you an angel?" 🥺🥺 Oh-

Watto's neck beard makes me increeeeedibly uncomfortable

Also why doesnt Jedi mind control work on toyardarians?? I have questions

Jesus christ sebulba is terrifying

OBI'S CAPE IN THE WIND SO MAJESTIC I LOVE IT

Okay so at 38:38 into the movie r2 is going into Ani's bedroom and there's a wood carving that looks exactly like Maz Kanata??? 👀👀👀

🥺🥺🥺 3PO and R2 meeting for the first time!!!

Not jar jar eating his food from his plate like a fucking dog please just kill me

Qui-Gon: "I don't know there's just something about this boy." Me about literally anythinf with a pulse and floppy brown hair

C-3PO: "You know, I find that Jar Jar creature to be a little odd." Lol SAME

What is wild to me is that ani's midichlorian count is dummy thicc but it's not talked about enough to be something I remember

MAUL HAS ENTERED THE SCENE THE MAN IS HERE EVERYONE BATTON DOWN THE HATCHES

Qui-Gon to Watto: "Patience, my blue friend." Sksksksk Qui-Gon please

Wait wait wait one of the pod racer announcers is played by one of the guys who was on Whose Line is it Anyway? I just realized! What an amazing show I miss it everyday

That animal farting in jar jar's face lol he deserves it

Also lol why is sebulba so mean to Anakin?? Anakin is like 9 years old. Sebulba is definitely full grown. grow up you fucking loser

I've reached that point in my drinking adventure that I am get very tired so fingers crossed that I don't fall asleep 🤞🏻

Watching this pod race sequence as a child is part of the reason I have so much anxiety now

"Skywalker's spinning out of control!" Lol same

Anakin ate that race tbh

Has anyone written qui gon x shmii content?? because he just put a hand on her shoulder and 👀👀 I am thönking

MAUL V QUI FIGHT SCENE LETS GOO

Listen LISTEN Anakin is like what 9 or 10 in this movie and Padme is ?? 15? 16? No dude. No giving of a necklace and saying "I care for you" absolutely not. JAIL

Palpatine is so good at emotionally manipulating people he must drive a Honda Accord and his favorite movie must be Clockwork Orange

MACE WINDU I SEE YOUUUU YEEHAW

The reveal of Padme as queen doesn't make any sense. Like why?? You could have just waited until it was absolutely necessary bro no need for a dramatic entrace

Anakin too baby to be in battle

Wait is this movie the Star Wars version of the classic man vs technology?? because I'm thinking about the gungans which are very like organic and versus the droids

Also the gungans shield didn't stop the droids from just straight up walking through so like what the fuck is the point guys

YASSSS Maul and Obi and Qui-Gon here we go!!

Seeing maul bust out the double edged lightsaber really made me tingle when I was a young lass

This maul fight is incredibly extra but what else do you expect from the Star Wars franchise

Qui-Gon meditating while waiting for the barrier to fight Maul is absolutely too much

Yay!! the evil donut blows up

IN CONCLUSION

I did fall asleep towards the end there I'm not gonna lie, but ya know, we've all seen this movie before, so.

it was just as horrible as i remembered it but like....i did enjoy falling in and out of sleep as it played in the background so that counts for something right??

[katrielles]

so i wrote this thing and it was going to be part of something else but im too lazy to ever finish it so it’s. a one-shot now i guess.

anyways here it is pls take into account i havent written anything in years and that english isnt my first language lmao ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It was a cold night out in Stansbury. A thin fog crept through the small town, hanging somewhere below the clouds and above people's heads. The Ascot house, slightly away from the rest of the town, was silent and mostly dark, except for a dim light pouring out from a single window in one of the upper floors. Most servants had been dismissed by that time, and the long hallways and rooms felt too big, too empty.

Hershel quite enjoyed the silence from the spacious back garden. Randall himself didn't appreciate silence all that much; his definition of "enjoying nature" involved expeditions and adventures and constant action. Hershel preferred a cup of tea and a nice book, but Randall couldn't get his head around the appeal of such slow-paced, quiet activities. Hershel was surprised he hadn't dug holes through the entire garden in search for some hidden treasure, or simply out of boredom.

Now, however, Randall was mostly still and silent, lying face up on the grass. He kept sneaking gazes at his friend from between his absent-minded stares at the starry sky.

"... Though it's not known where the alleged ruins are located," Hershel read quietly, eyes barely focusing on the words in the book on his lap.

Randall yawned. He was being kept awake merely by force of will and afternoon coffee. Although he could barely process Hershel's words through the fog in his mind, his voice was soothing. He quite enjoyed to hear him read.

Hershel yawned in reply. "How about we continue tomorrow?" he offered, rubbing one eye.

He'd rather Hershel kept reading, but he knew his friend was tired, so he offered his most convincing, "Great idea," and closed his eyes for just a moment.

Hershel lay down on the grass beside his best friend, book cast aside. It was cold and slightly uncomfortable, but in his half-asleep state, he barely noticed. They had spent the entire afternoon (as well as a great deal of the night) reading archaeology and mystery books. When Randall had become too sleepy to read, Hershel would read aloud, until they both became too tired even for that. Books littered the grass around the two boys in disorderly piles.

Hershel gazed at the sky above. Through the thin fog, the stars shone brightly. That was another thing he fancied about Randall's home; it was far enough from other buildings in town to avoid most light pollution. The starry sky was a breathtaking view, one not many had the opportunity to enjoy like this.

"Hersh?" Randall's voice cut through his thoughts like a knife.

"Yes?" he replied, turning his head to face him. His arms were spread out, one hand almost touching Randall's, something the young man was painfully aware of.

The distance between them fueled Randall's heart with a nervousness he was certain would turn into a fire. He knew he went too close to others at times without noticing at first, but there was something different about others initiating it. It made him too aware of himself for his own good.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" He glared at the night sky, as if blaming the distant stars for the thoughts plaguing him. You're being so obvious, Randall, he scolded himself. Talking usually helped divert him from his own upsetting thoughts, but this time he was doing a terrible job at it. The fog clogging his mind with sleepiness wasn’t helping much either.

Hershel breathed in sharply, and Randall immediately felt embarrassed. As no answer came, Randall suspected for a few seconds that he would pretend to be asleep to avoid his question.

"No, not really," came an answer that sounded more like a question. Randall relaxed, if just a little. Truth be told, he wasn't surprised by his words. He didn't fully understand why he'd asked at all. Hershel, in turn, was becoming more anxious each passing second. "Why the sudden question?"

"Hmm... I don't know. Just came to mind, I suppose." He chuckled and scratched his face. Was his nervousness too obvious?

"Have you?"

Randall finally turned to face him, propping himself on one elbow. "What do you think?" he said with a smirk and a dare in his eyes. The opportunity to tease his friend distracted him from other, slightly more concerning thoughts. The fog in his mind thinned.

"I'd guess... You have?", he ventured with half a smile and knitted eyebrows. Randall could swear he looked worried half the time. His eyebrows almost seemed glued into a permanent frown.

Randall laughed lightly. "Nah. Never have." He watched in amusement as Hershel's eyebrows shot up, beady eyes widening slightly. Randall’s smile widened in turn. "Surprised?"

Hershel smiled back sheepishly. "I don't know, you just seem like the type of person to grow attached to others easily. And people tend to like you a lot too."

"That's flattering."

"Besides, you are a bit impulsive and excitable."

Randall pouted. "That's not flattering."

"I hadn't really thought about it before," he said, his last word turning into a yawn that he covered with the back of his hand. He was barely keeping his eyes open.

"What? Too boring for old Hershel?"

Hershel sat up. If he lay down for another second, there was no guarantee he wouldn't fall asleep immediately. He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't— It's not a pressing matter."

Randall sat up as well, one leg crossed over the other, and brushed the grass off his hair. Hershel hadn't bothered to. His fluffy hair was as messy as ever. Randall had always really wanted to run his hand through his hair. The closest he had come to that was hiding things in it (which always resulted in a confused and slightly annoyed Hershel).

"And you don't ever wonder what it's like?" he said, scooting closer without noticing. Hershel was more than used to his friend's apparent obliviousness of others' personal space; but although he knew to expect it, it would still make him a little nervous. No one was as comfortable around Hershel and as physically affectionate as Randall was. It was nice, he thought, but different to what it was like with everyone else.

"Not really." He absently reached out to take Randall's glasses and tried them on. Randall blinked and cocked his head to the side, but made no attempt to retrieve them. Hershel gasped, noticing everything looked exactly the same. "You don't need these!"

Randall chuckled, holding his stomach, while Hershel frowned at him. "Of course I don’t!"

Once he was over his initial confusion, Hershel started laughing too. Of course. Randall was... Randall enough to wear glasses for aesthetic purposes only.

And then it happened.

Randall felt so light, like everything was right with the world. It was only him and Hershel in the quiet garden, blanketed by a thin fog and crowned by stars, and it felt like it was them the stars shone for. And it was cold and Hershel looked cute, wearing his glasses and staring with his brow furrowed and then laughing, and there were dried leaves in his tangled hair and Randall was itching to reach out and pick them out of his hair, and they were so close and Randall was so sleepy and happy and—

Randall was sure he had started it, though he couldn't remember doing it. One second he was laughing with Hershel, and the next he had leaned in and was closer than he'd ever been to his friend's face.

Their foreheads bumped and he thought for sure that whatever the mysterious source of his courage was, it would flee that instant and he'd freeze, or that Hershel would pull back, or that he'd suddenly wake up from a very strange dream. But he leaned in and pressed his lips against his friend's, and his heart skipped a beat and it was still happening. His nose brushed against Hershel's cheek and Hershel tilted his head slightly. Randall closed his eyes, raised one hand and rested it on his cheek.

His lips were soft and tasted like coffee, and Randall distantly thought he probably tasted like coffee as well. His heartbeat was too loud and overwhelming, effectively drowning the usual noises of the garden and the forest behind it. He didn't know what to do with himself. He opened his eyes. Closed them again. Changed his mind and ran his hand through Hershel's hair (finally). Hershel smelled like a library, he noticed, of books and dust and old wood; of comfort and stability and warmth. Hershel shakily raised his hand to Randall's cheek, and it was warm and soft. Any unsteadiness and uneasiness Hershel carried with him were gone from his gentle grasp. The world spun around them, but Randall couldn’t care less. The fog in his mind had cleared, and he felt as if the sun itself were shining from inside him, burning his heart and his lungs and under his skin.

But, of course, it didn’t last.

Of course, things weren’t going to go so nicely for him.

Of course.

He had barely registered the sound of footsteps on the back of his mind when something hauled him from behind. A confusing blur replaced his view for a few straining seconds, the collar of his shirt almost choking him from the strength of what dragged it. He was pulled to his feet and now faced a familiar man.

His father.

Saying he looked angry would have been an understatement; he was breathing heavily, one hand balled into a fist and the other clenched around the fabric of his shirt, face a concerning shade of red. "What's the meaning of this?" he barked.

How could Randall think he'd get away with this?

He turned to Hershel, who lay stunned on the grass, with shaky shoulders and fidgety hands. "Get. Out," he managed through clenched teeth. The boy stood up, as fast as he'd ever seen him, shot Randall a worried look and half-ran, half-walked awkwardly to the door.

Randall would later get the scolding of his life.

And neither of them would ever talk about it again.