#i know it's a weird notion

[uncanny-tranny]

It's weird how people paint "daddy issues" and even "mommy issues" as, like, a joke or a failure on part of the person who has those issues, rather than recognizing that daddy and mommy issues stem, for so many people, from abuse. What this all is is just abuse apologia, and nobody seems to either notice or maybe even care.

When somebody with daddy or mommy issues opens up about the "why," I can't ever seem to shake the fact that they tend to have gone through a ton of abuse and bullshit as a child. It's just crazy that other people would look at that and see a joke or a failure of the once-child who was abused.

[kicktwine]

miskellaneous

[electromelancholy]

DISCO 2022 FIC REC ROUNDUP

I read a lot of disco elysium fanfiction in 2022. Instead of letting this fact be my problem alone, I've complied a list of my 99 favourite works published (or completed or last updated) in the year 2022.

My intention with this was to celebrate the work we've done as a community writing over one thousand (!!) fics this year, to highlight some underappreciated works, and just to share my favourites.

Hope you enjoy and happy 2023!

[blujayonthewing]

well I just spent an hour digging through my own dnd notes and social media and also almost cried because I mentioned, in passing, something justin had said about one of his NPCs and he, completely lightheartedly, was like '?? I don't remember that at all. [I mean I'm not making it up?] I think you might be making it up 😏'

[chimeragirlpleopods]

sometimes i wonder if in a desperate self imposed race to one another people get into more fucked up stuff in a weird attempt to one up one another on whos the biggest freak of them all, and sometimes ethics get trampled on the way

i'm not sure whats with the desire to put in scale how much of a weirdo you are/are not if it seems you want to be the weirdest of them all, your special club of weird, if it starts seeping harm. it can never be just something you gotta flaunt how absolutely off it is compared to those instead. feeling of belonging, at its extreme, i suppose

[lucky-clover-gazette]

my most beloved ocs who started out in a gravity falls fanfic and ended up being the basis of my first novel turn ten years old today <3 i mean i was 14/they were 14 ten years ago, so now they’re 24 like me ig

[thesugarhole]

dont ask me why i decided to add color to this like a 5year old using crayons. my mind is an enigma. original + The Research(tm) summary under cut

[shopcat]

just thinking thoughts trying to articulate them but re: trans names and even "stereotypical" trans names i just think it's like. luckily it's died down for now at least on here or maybe i just follow people who aren't assholes but seriously what was with that whole era where people just made fun of people's names or tongue in cheek poked fun at each other with a little too much cruelty let alone done by CIS people... like that's so weird. like i do have what i'd call a Stereotypical Trans Name in that it's unusual and "weird" to other people and it's not even actually like, the most out there or individualistic thing ever it's just kind of an old timey name that isn't as popular anymore but i chose it specifically bc it was a "proper" name. and i STILL get shit for it like all the time. and it's just like. why do people CARE...

like. i know you can't make grand sweeping generalisations for a group of people as varied as every trans person on earth but for a lot of us i'd go ahead and say your name as a trans person and even just AS A PERSON... A HUMAN BEING is an important part of who you are and ties into your identity to a degree that differs from person to person. and for a trans person specifically can be one of the only things you have for... yourself, along with pronouns, especially in online spaces/if you're not out/if you are out but struggle for whatever reason to even be given the dignity of being called YOUR OWN NAME, etc. i'm not gonna harp on about that aspect forever bc i think we all know but it's just like, in the face of that annoying tiktok cunts making a list of "every transfem is called [blank] and every transmasc is called [blank]" and there being 6k comments talking about how stupid and unserious it all is is just NASTY. like man shut the fuck up 😭

i don't find it funny like 95% of the time i think it's just like mean ... i also know people could probably read this and be like shut up you're being annoying it's not that deep but like whatever man. i think it's basic decency to not make fun of people for something that's a part of who they are especially if that identity puts them at risk which to be real can affect pretty much everyone other than white cishet christians etc at FAR worse severity/cost and i think instilling the idea that "people's names are fair game" outside of actual tongue in cheek intercommunity good faith joking around is actually Bad. not that i'm actually comparing these things bc it's not 1:1 and has different levels but still i think it comes from the same like... source. the amount of times i've had people use my own name as if it's a gotcha in anon hate is actually astronomical and half of them don't even realise they're BEING literally transphobic is crazy. i mean i've joked about it and i don't take it that seriously but it's still like, transphobic and i hate these people it just also doesn't bother me because i'm a normal person who isn't actually insecure about it and who literally cares what someone's name is. and xfiles girls love me unintentional side effect.

[fayeandknight]

In depth thoughts on today's outing at the Car and Truck Show. For context - it's an annual event held as a memorial for my cousin who died young in a tragic accident. So even without my disabilities it's an emotional event.

There were lots of people that Forte knows in an off duty capacity and in the beginning he did struggle with wanting to say hi. Staring at them with puppy dog eyes, wagging his tail, and inching forward to sniff people while he was in a down. Probably made harder for him because every single one of them greeted him directly, some crouched down, and lots of 'oh I wish I could pet you' and longing stares. I redirected with very basic obedience and chicken to help remind him of where his focus should be.

After about 30 minutes he stopped looking for attention from the people he's familiar with. I wish he'd have focused sooner but given the staggering amount of attention he received I think he did a good job. So many people came over to talk to or stare at him. I was asked lots of questions about him and his training. We were pointed out to people's kids/had kids sent over to us to say hi. And the majority of these people stood nearly on top of him, very close to me, while doing this.

Forte did a really good job of ignoring most of this and even offered auto blocking for about half of the interactions. He didn't get over aroused at the screaming and running kids, which is painful for me on a sensory level.

There was a live band playing, huge trucks of all sorts, engines being revved, food stands, and just so many people.

I did take him back to my car after about an hour to give him a small break. I took his gear off and let him potty, played a little tug with him, and let him roll around in the grass. During this one of my cousins just happened to be on his way in from the parking lot so I let Forte say hi. Forte poured on all the affection he hadn't gotten to dole out.

When we went back he was much more focused and calm. Which was good because I could feel myself getting more tired and less tolerant of people. After the third dead dog story with some guy looming over me while telling it I was feeling pretty worn out. Forte did alert to an hr spike (111) so I found a place to sit down and have him do DPT. Thankfully no one bothered us during this.

Once I was in the clear (hr below 100) I got a soft pretzel in the hopes it would make me feel better/more grounded. Forte held a settle at my side the whole time I was eating it, no begging at all.

Then a family friend of my mom's/aunts' spotted us and had lots of incredibly rude things to say about Forte and my "parading around a dog like that". I am proud of myself for remaining neutral in my responses. Forte alerted (hr 117) so I excused myself and went back to the quieter area for him to do DBT again.

After I was feeling better I rejoined the group (comprised mostly of my parents, aunt's, cousins, and their kids). While I was listening to the conversation it turned to a super triggering topic. I grabbed Forte's pull strap intending to use the braided texture to ground myself until I was steady enough to walk away. Forte apparently took it as a cue to get me out of there and brought me back to where we'd done DPT previously.

Once I was okay enough I said goodbye as I passed the group and headed back to the car.

I really have to acknowledge Forte's brilliance on this. We've only fairly recently been practicing FMP and the only light guiding he's done is find the car once we're already in the parking lot.

I've never asked him to lead me to a quiet spot before. But he patterned that my getting a certain level of distressed ended with us doing DPT in a specific spot and just acted upon it unprompted.

For all that I call him dinky and make jokes about him being not that smart, he does understand the core of his job and does his utmost to fulfill it. I am so grateful to have him in my life and am proud of him and our training. He's such a good dog and I appreciate himself so very much.

[lastparty]

</3

[anhedoniacity]

imagine sharing your draft writing or creative work and begging for external insight, but the only feedback anyone is able to muster is “p. dece.” this is what has happened to me in every single group editing/peer revision scenario from second grade until now

[spectralarrovv]

i think the jedi critique that pisses me off the most is the notion that the jedi were evil and uncaring for not upending slavery…

using qui-gon’s situation with anakin and his mom (and the entirety of the slave ring run by the hutts) shouldn’t be a criticism of the jedi, it’s about the republic. even at this time before the heart of the clone wars, the jedi are under the complete mercy of the republic. every action taken by a jedi must be a reflection of the will of the republic, which is not of fault of their own but of the corruption already buried from the presence and sway of the sith.

attempting to enact an upheaval of slavery in the outer rim from under the hutts would be against the political agenda of the senate and the chancellor and therefore is something the jedi have no power to do. even before palpatine is elected, the jedi are at the mercy of the republic.

the critique should not be on how the jedi’s actions are forced into a mold by the corruption of the senate, the fault lies in the way the jedi are extorted and used by the galaxys highest political power, which then continues on until the jedi’s devised genocide by that very same corrupt power.

yeah, the jedi not being able to enforce peace and freedom is fucked up, it betrays who they are to their core, and it’s all purposeful and enacted through the grip they’re caught in under the republic.

[vvanessaives]

no pairing in the world will ever serve as much cunt as a courier x benny one, i will die with this truth in my heart