#i know its probably not twitters fault because i get the same weird comment once a month and im p sure its the same person so 🤷

[galkyrie]

The uptick of wildly entitled asks is probably not due to Twitter refugees, but holy cow

[flopgoblins]

Ocelot Emperor

We emerge from the mists of Ireland - where we’re on retreat with next to no internet - to lay this offering at the feet of one of our favorite people and wish her a very happy birthday! @brazenbells we love you, thank you for two consecutive years of helping us write our boys, and for letting us throw them at your own.

Without further ado, the crossover smash the fans (us, mostly) have been clamoring for! Thanks, Ted. 

-

King Abran's throne was as vast and glorious as his kingdom. Made of teak, varnished until the wood seemed to glow with an inner fire, inlaid with gold and etched with scenes from myth and legend and the founding of his dynasty. 

And upon it, his wrists heavy with bangles, his fingers dripping rings, his eyes dark with kohl, lounged the crown prince, golden and glorious as a lion at rest. His eyes were lion-tawny too, and his neck was straight and proud, easily bearing the weight of the shining crown that rested upon his brow. 

“See,” said Matt, angling his phone so Nico could get a better look at himself. “You look way better in all this sparkly shit than I do.”

Nico slid off the throne with a gentle chinking and untangled the gold-ish polymer crown from his hair. Beneath the gilt, it was dark brown, but for the stark white streak Makeup had sprayed there two hours ago. “Yeah, the casting choices feel a little strange. I can see why everyone on Twitter was pulling up those fanart comps to complain about it. Still not as bad as the, uh - ”

“I know,” Matt said morosely, taking the crown back and putting it on wonky. “I don’t even tan.” They’d dyed his hair again but thankfully drawn the line at trying to make him any less pasty. Manufacturing sexual tension with someone who looks like a stretched out Oompa Loompa might be beyond even Nico’s prodigious talents. 

“I’m billed above you though. That’s progress.” Nico tried to get the crown to sit right but succeeded in tilting it drunkenly to the other side. “And, hey, it’s not every day you get a big-budget fantasy epic with a queer romance.”

“They cut out the incest. And most of the sex.” Around them, the studio walls yawned tall and green; the only solid things onset were them and the throne, and the throne was mostly resin. 

“There wasn’t that much sex in the book,” said Nico, who’d picked up the novel as soon as the casting call went out and gone through making characterization notes on every page. 

Matt, who’d read the first draft as it was posted on AO3, complete with thirteen chapters of kink that hadn’t made it into the published version, sniffed and forbore from commenting. Some hauteur was probably in keeping with playing Gael anyway. More in keeping with Tigris, though, which was further evidence Ted Nord couldn’t cast to save his life. 

“I mean, I love it, it’s a really interesting role, but I’m finding it hard to get to grips with,” Nico had said, on the first day of shooting. “Spending your whole life pretending to be being vain and shallow, because it’s not safe to be anything else. Wearing a mask so long you must start to wonder whether you’ve become it. What does that do to a person?”

“Dunno,” Matt had said. “Did you see Ray Lelacheur’s Vogue cover yet? Terrible shoes.”

Now that Nico had abandoned the regal warmth that had settled on him as if it was second nature while draped over the throne, he was stirring the pages of the script again, frowning at his lines. Tigris had been the most he’d had to stretch for a character to date, he’d told Matt, though he’d earnestly added he liked the character’s ‘chewiness.’ 

Matt, who’d struggled equally hard to locate the generosity of spirit and ease of power that was Gael, continued to think that Ted was just as bad at casting to type as he was to aesthetic. 

Nico tossed his white-streaked hair back from his forehead and dragged on his black velvet cloak. “Will you run this scene again with me? I keep not getting the timbre of his ambition right.” He mouthed a few lines, twisted a green gemstone on his finger, and cast an agonized, kohl-rimmed look at Matt. “How do I channel the appropriate volume of petulance, the feeling of a man deprived what by all rights should be his?”

Matt draped himself over his rightful throne, trying to arrange his limbs with the same boneless grace Nico had achieved so easily. “Remember when we were at that falafel truck last week and it took twenty minutes for your order to come and you started cursing god?”

“Suck my dick, Rose,” said Nico reflexively, but looked thoughtful.  

“Later,” murmured Matt, and closed his eyes to wait.

-

“Spy,” snarled the prince, rounding on his cousin. Tigris stood his ground, jaw set against the taller man’s fury, lip curling with defiant derision. “You intrude here, in my father’s house, not content to be left to your life of indulgent luxury, so desperate for attention -”

Tigris’s eyes flashed, enraged despite himself. “Attention? You think that is what I crave? Heavens forbid I seek a world beyond the gilded cage my uncle keeps me in, indulging me like a spoilt puppy and giving me just as much freedom. Attention? I would give my eyeteeth for less! If one could trade condescending oversight for actual knowledge of how our kingdom is run-”

“Our kingdom,” repeated Gael. He cocked his head to the side, curiosity warring with the outrage in his noble features. “You truly think it so, do you? But our father-”

“Uncle,” said Tigris, under his breath.

“Our uncle -”

“My uncle,” said Tigris helpfully. “Your father.”

“My - okay, your -” Matt stopped. “Gawd. This doesn’t work at all.”

“See? It doesn’t work half as well without the incest.” Nico flicked a gem-encrusted finger at Matt’s nose.

Matt wrinkled it and adjusted the hang of gold chains over his collarbones. “You say this like I’m the one who made the script changes. And for the record, Cindy was as cut up about it as you are.” Cindy, script doctor extraordinaire, had also lurked the story on AO3 as it sailed up the ‘Original Fiction’ rankings, and was as distressed as he was about the loss of the throne sex scene. “It’s not my fault transgressive familial kink hasn’t crossed over from the hets yet.”

“Kink shmink, it totally shifts the dynamic.” Nico flapped his cloak emphatically. “Adopted cousins isn’t close to the same sort of layers of resentment and entitlement being a bastard half-brother would be.”

“Right,” said Matt, who’d definitely only re-read chapter 12 seven times for the entitlement, and not the way Tigris hissed ‘brother’ while bound to a bedpost. “The morality groups would lose their shit, though. Probably it was the right call.” It was impressive enough his agency had let him sign the role at all; he’d already rocked the boat enough asking if his casting was whitewashing.

“The morality groups are gonna lose their shit over the gay factor anyway,” said Nico stubbornly. “In for a penny...”

“What about the negative associations of homosexuality with sexual taboos?” 

“What about double standards?”

“Sure, it’s a double standard and it sucks, but you gotta start somewhere. It’s a story about being an outcast and fighting for scraps of dignity, fighting to be seen as human by people who want you to be less than that, and that’s gonna resonate with a lot of kids. You gotta lay the groundwork then fuck your brother.”

Nico raised an eyebrow and Matt shut up quickly; he, or rather his agency, had made a point of never letting him be drawn into these kinds of debates. “And I think compromise robs art of its power. What does the author think?” They both glanced across the set to where a woman in a peacock-print dress watched as Ted struggled to coral the child actors for the carnival scene. Her expression, behind her glasses, was unreadable. 

“Dunno.” Matt ran his hand through his hair. The dye had dried it out and he winced at the brittle, dead-grass feel of it. “Only time we spoke, we both tried to get each other’s autographs and it was really awkward. Bet she’d have some notes for you, though.”

“D’you know, Rose, that’s not a bad idea.” Once resolved, Nico was all action and he stood, script pages fluttering to the floor, velvet cloak swirling around his ankles. The jut of his jaw said that nothing short of poor falafel truck service would defeat him. 

“Ask her to show you the predicament bondage scene,” Matt told him helpfully. “There were some really important character beats in that, I thought.”

-

“You think you’re too good for me, don’t you?”

“What?” Matt looked up, taken completely off guard. He was stretched out in Nico’s window seat, deeply absorbed in a thinkpiece on why Kai Bourke would have been a better casting choice for Gael, and thoroughly agreeing with it. Seeing his boyfriend prowling towards him with a look of cold fury and a bare chest was enough to stop him mid-anonymous comment.

Nico stalked across the room towards him, the taut anger etched in every muscle creating a frayed grace that was almost violence. “That’s the worst of you, your highness. It’s not that you hate me. It’s not that you think less of me. It’s that you think nothing of me at all!”

Finally cottoning on, Matt swung his legs around and tried to remember his lines; it was hard, he truly couldn’t remember what part of the script this was. That in itself was unusual. Matt would hardly claim himself a natural thespian or even a diligent professional, but memorizing lines had been a skill drilled into him since he was eight years old and it was a tough habit to shake. Still, while Nico’s words - Tigris’s words - sounded vaguely familiar, he couldn’t for the life of him place them in Ted and Cindy’s script. 

“But I’m going to make certain you don’t forget me, brother,” whispered Nico, and that was just it, Matt realized. It wasn’t the script at all. It wasn’t even the book. It was the original.

“You read it?” he mouthed, as Nico’s hand wrapped around his wrist. 

“Shocked to learn I’m literate?” spat Nico, but favored him with the shadow of a wink. No shadow around his eyes this time, no gold woven into his hair, but he was more Tigris than he’d been on the soundstage. 

It was, simultaneously, extremely Nico. 

Matt tried, experimentally, to free his wrist and found he couldn’t. He shivered, feeling his pulse jump, knowing Nico could feel it too. “Was that an attempt to dig deeper into the artistic truth of the work, or to mine it for weird, kinky shit?” 

“Yes,” said Nico, bearing him down onto the cushions, beautiful and vengeful and careful not to knock Matt’s laptop off the seat.

-

One of the advantages of shooting a gay film with your boyfriend - one Arose had certainly never intended - was that when Nico turned, grabbed Matt by the lapels, and kissed him on the red carpet, everyone laughed and smiled and Matt knew the gossip mag headlines would be jokes about dedication to the craft and not shock sexuality scandals. His father probably wouldn’t- okay he’d definitely mind but it’d probably be a side note in a meeting about how to capitalize on the film’s success. 

And it was a success; some desperately hot sex aside, reading the story - the real story - had apparently been what Nico had needed to pull it together. All the pride and fear and desperate clawing longing of a tiger caged that had risen like a heat haze from Tigris’s story, and Nico had captured it, had reveled in it, and put it on the screen for all to see. 

Matt straightened his tie and winked to the paps - just a joke between bros, nothing queer here - and resolved to fuck Nico senseless in the restrooms after the premier. Nico laughed and stuck his tongue out. He’d left the white streak in his hair for the red carpet, as stark as the collar of his suit, and Matt had to say, it was growing on him. 

[lenezdansleruisseau]

All right, here are my thoughts about the last episode of BBC Les Mis ( I needed a couple of days to sort my ideas, but at last I'm ready)

So, first of all, the things that I liked:

the barricade sequence

I didn't think I would find myself typing this today, but yes, I really liked the barricade part. It was well paced, interesting and involving, it wasn't faithful to the brick word by word, but the sentiment and the message were both there and you could really feel it.

Also, I loved soooo much Enjolras interactions with Courf and Definitely Feuilly, but especially Courf.

"This is history." had me completely sobbing and when Courfeyrac shot the soldier who was going to kill Enjolras I felt my heart breaking.

E and R death was not the brick's death, but it felt right in the general atmosphere of this adaptation and for this characterization, so well done with that. Didn't cry, but still loved that a lot.

Oh, and Gavroche's death? Perfect. There was just a little bit I didn't approve of, but we'll get there later.

Javert’s suicide

Oh, gods! Thank you! It was great. Loved it. Javert is really one of my favorite characters and I was kind of sad about what they were doing to him in this adaptation (but I was also having fun so, you know), but I loved how they handled his death. And his jump didn't look completely ridiculous which is not easy, so kudos to David (maybe a little less crying?)

everything with Gillenormand and Nicolette

thank you Gillenormand to be the creepy old man you ought to be and thank you, Nicolette, for managing to do wonders with all the extra time they gave you, Marius' plotline wouldn't have been the same without you.

Valjean's death

It was good. this is what I have to say about it. It didn't move me that much, but I didn't hate it or even mildly disliked it, so I guess it was ok. Also, brick-wise was faithful enough.

Things I didn't like:

First of, a disclaimer: all the things I'm going to list now are things that I didn't like in the context of this adaptation which means that if I didn't like the choice they made but I felt it worked in the context it won't be here.

Sorry, Joseph, I swear you did great, it's not your fault

The first speech Enjolras gives in this episode, I didn't like it, I know a lot of people really enjoyed this part and I loved it too! Just not that speech, I thought it was flat and a little bit out of place if not even out of character. When I'll watch the episode again maybe I'll try to elaborate on this. 

The all Valjean freeing Javert sequence

It felt a bit forced and I don't think the Valjean of this series would have acted that way, he had no reason to free Javert, he may not have wanted to kill him, but surely he wouldn't have had any problem letting the revolutionaries kill him. He has no problem with murder as we're going to establish later on

Paris Special Greek Chorus Unit

I think it was pilferingapples (but I'm not sure)who talked about the police greek chorus that followed Javert when he went to find Valjean, that was weird and kind of useless. Didn't like that. In general, the fact that Javert has to spell everything out to Rivette who, let's state the obvious here, he's being an instrument to explain everything to the audience. I don't know if it was necessary but I would argue that the viewers are smart enough to understand without the character spelling everything out for them

 Marius, stop dreaming Cosette naked, please 

She's the allegory for Hope and a Brighter Future, show some respect.

Also, Marius, don't give money to the man who just said to you has the intention to start a slave trade in the US

The last scene. 

I have... so many Opinions about it. I saw a guy on twitter (i know I shouldn't have watched the twitter comments about the episode, I'm weak, I know) saying that it was a nice reference to the incipit of Les Mis and no, just no. It was not a reference to that. Did you want to reference that? You show an image of poor/abused/malnourished children in our days. A debatable choice, but at least it's an actual reference to the incipit. Plus, there is a reason why the incipit is at the incipit and not at the end of the novel: Hugo wanted Les Mis to be a message of hope and love and that last shot really wasn't any of that.

Especially in an adaptation that had not given all that space to politics or social problems that last scene seems a lot out of place.

I'm developing a theory about the theme of children and abused children specifically in this adaptation, though, which may redeem slightly (very, very slightly) that last scene, but it'll have his own post.

Now, the ??? things or things that confused me and left me with mixed feelings:

Gavroche's death

In general, I liked it. Gavroche's actor is great and he did a wonderful job, but the problem is the fact that they shifted the focus of his death on Marius going to retrieve his body so Valjean could change his mind and not try to kill him. I mean, they made it very clear and it's very wrong. First of all because Gavroche's death it's poignant in itself and it's important to maintain its significance in the context of Hugo's messages (but we already know that Davies didn't care a lot about those); secondly, how wrong is it that Valjean needs to see Marius risks his life to retrieve the dying body of a child to decide not to murder him? That really disturbed me on so many levels. Mixed feelings for this part.

Again, Valjean freeing Javert

I already said that in the context of this adaptation that scene had no sense, but also it was not good brick-wise. Especially Valjean firing the gun to scare Javert into going away instead of firing it to make believe the others that he actually killed him. My theory on this is that they wanted the keep the Valjean-fires-the-gun bit but with the fact that during that scene there was the fight going on outside no one would have noticed or cared for the sound of a shot, so they needed another reason and, like many other choices in this series, it felt wrong. Didn't hate this scene though, I just didn't understand why handling it this way.

Why is Valjean having guilt visions in the sewers?

I don't have very much to say about that. Didn't understand why was there. And it was a better tempest in a brain than the one in the episode where it should have actually have been the tempest in a brain. Again my question is why.

The fact that Thénardier claims it's all Valjean's fault if he's living like that

In this adaptation makes sense (still not true, but it makes sense that Thénardier would say that). Was that part necessary? Did it go in some direction? Why was in there? I have no idea.

Valjean snitching on himself before the wedding

Don't hate it. Just, why? Again I don't understand most of the choices they made in this episode. Surely I didn't like the "ahah I wanted to kill you, so funny, don't you think?". Of. Fucking. Course. He. Does. Not. Like. That.

Cosette being there for Thénardier's snitching

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this. There's a part of me that really liked it and honestly thought was an interesting change and another one which kept screaming all the time "How is Cosette going to forgive Marius for these lies?"

The jury is still out on this part and it'll probably remain out for a long time.

Valjean dying in Digne 

Why? They never mentioned that place once after the first episode. They didn't even mention the bishop all that much. And how did Cosette know about it? Did he tell her? Why? Wasn't he afraid of her discovering his past?

Generally speaking, I liked the episode, but I think it suffered a lot from the other episodes' terrible characterization, pacing and lack of emotions. on the other side of the medal, some of the things I liked in this episode because I thought worked in this adaptation wouldn't have worked if the series wouldn't have done all those previous choices, so, who knows? The only thing I can say with certainty is that this series left me with a lot of unanswered questions.

[lizacstuff]

Anons 7x06

Lots of anons in my inbox, a few under the cut. The tone of most asks is not complimentary towards the season or episode, you have been warned. 

Anonymous said:Seems like there must not be a lot of Regina fans out there, despite the ER making a lot of noise. Demos held steady. 

I wouldn’t count those numbers before they’re hatched.  Sound like the show was preempted in certain markets (Boston, a huge DMA, for one) so the numbers should be adjusted for that when the nationals come out on Monday. Right now OUAT is getting credit for whatever replacement programming the affiliate put in it’s place. 

Anonymous said:I'm seeing that for some areas the episode got pushed back till early Saturday morning. Do they take into account when figuring out the ratings? I'm already seeing ERs complaining about it and saying if the ratings are bad that's the only reason why. 😒

See above. The overnights (today's ratings) include viewership for whatever aired in OUAT’s place.  Monday they should adjust to reflect more accurately how many people watched the actual episode. They are right, though, in it negatively impacting the live numbers. However, it shouldn't really impact the L+3 or L+7 numbers. 

Anonymous said:Is it bad that I laughed outloud when I saw that Regina gave everything Ivy she needed to cast her curse? Just like the time Regina pushed Lily too far and she turned into a dragon and endanger the town? Or the time she told Zelena to go after Hades and change him and refused to listen to anyone's concerns and everyone almost ended up trapped in Hell? I'm surprised the writer's still don't see the pattern like fans do.

Even without malicious intentions, she’s a disaster who ruins everyone’s lives. It’s bizarre that the writers continually follow the pattern, but never have Regina question her own judgement when she’s doing it. Whatever else happens, Regina makes emotional, unilateral decisions that usually end up biting other people in the ass. 

Anonymous said:Why would Regina stop henry for having a tlk with jacinda to break the curse? they don't have chemistry but they have been written as tl, at least make them kiss to destroy this stupid season one for all

Because Ivy did something, that Regina remembers, that will put the people that Regina “loves” in jeopardy if the curse is broken.  We don’t know who is in jeopardy or how. 

Anonymous said:So the reboot it's all Regina's fault? Why am I not surprised? Having Henry all for her and without snowing and captain swan, obviously a villain like her was behind this

Regina isn’t being purposefully villainous, but her stupid choices have landed them in this position.

Anonymous said:So regina thought she never adopted a child and its now forced to live with him not knowing her and can't break the curse?? Also her soulmate still dead and she is away from sb and her "family"&"friends"? Hahahahahaha karma is a beautiful thing!!! So she is alone and miserable and childless? Jefferson, snowing of the early seasons and the whole ef1 is laughing and partying

I suppose she is getting a little bit of karmic retribution, but I wouldn’t consider her knowing Henry is her adult son, and still being close to him even though he doesn't know, as quite the same thing as orphaning Emma and Snowing missing out on raising her or knowing her for 28 years.  

Anonymous said:Its weird since I thought Shoe Believer had an okay start in the beginning. It wasn't anywhere near CS or Snowing but they were still okay. With every episode they just feel more and more dull and forced.

I always thought it was forced, particularly in the pilot, but I thought it might grow as the season progressed. I’m not feeling it.  They are telling us it’s true love, not showing us.  Unlike CS, Snowing or RB where we saw those relationships develop over time, this feels completely unearned, and a TLK would be like  Zades or Red Warrior where it feels like complete out-of-nowhere nonsense.  CS had to go through multiple seasons of trials and tribulations, both proving they would go to the end of the world or time for one another, before the show would even whisper True Love at them.  The writers have lost their mojo when it comes to writing a love story.

Anonymous said:After this weeks episode I'm more thankful than ever that Regina is far away from Captain Swan and everyone in storybrooke. They don't need to suffer the consequences of someone who has failed as a queen and a mayor.

Honestly, it being canon that Regina and Rumple are out of Storybrooke, is the silver lining to S7.  

Anonymous said:I’m kind of confused , since 7x02 I’ve been trying to keep up with show . But I haven’t been paying that much attention ( I usually just put it on the tv while I’m on my computer or something, so it’s really just background noise ) but I do have a question, who is that hag in lady tremaine’s basement thing ? And also ..... can you list the people who are aware that there was a curse / who’s now awake . Cuz I can’t keep up

That’s the witch.  Right now I think the only characters awake are Ivy, Regina, and sometimes Alice when she isn’t on medication.  I could be wrong though, because my ability to stay focused during this show has not been great. 

Anonymous said:I stopped watching s7 after 7x02 but as someone who still watches it/keeps tabs on it do you know if the timeline is explained like now that Lucy is born and is 10 years old does that mean captain swan's child is around that age or is Emma still pregnant cause time moves differently?

They haven’t really answered that question yet as far as I know. My gut is that very little time has passed in Storybrooke and as we speak Captain Swan is preparing for their baby. But that’s my gut, not fact. 

Anonymous said:I'm so mad - this was the last drop for me with this show. I have been watching S7 for Colin (I'm a Nielsen family and my viewing does count for the ratings) but what they had Henry say last night was the last straw. Swan Believer and their amazing dynamic in season 1 was what kept me watching the show (until CS came along ) and to have to see the writers IGNORE what was once the backbone of the original show (Emma/Henry) to prop an abusive mother/son relationship is absolute bullshit.

cont - previous ask about Swan Believer. I feel sorry for Colin and for the cast and crew, but from now on I will not be watching the show anymore. Nothing about it excites me/makes me happy. It feels like a chore. And these writers do NOT deserve to get renewed nor to get anymore chances to ruin their own canon of what was once a beautiful show.

Describing it as a chore is pretty spot on. I understand you wanting to watch for Colin (especially as a Nielsen household) but you gotta do what’s right for you.  That line seemed completely unnecessary. There were a lot of ways they could have had a nice mother/son moment without going there. 

Anonymous said:I just saw a gifset of Regina waking up from the curse. So that's really the reaction she chose to go with? She really hasn't seemed to grasp the subtleties of acting, has she?

No, she has not. However, I have to say that Lana’s acting as Roni in Hyperion Heights this episode was the least of the episode’s problems. 

Anonymous said:Did you see any of Lana's answers to her fans on Twitter? Besides laughing at the idea of her wanting to do a remake of Silence of the Lambs and play Clarice, when she was asked what she's learned from Bex she said that red heads have more fun than blondes. I imagine in this situation you answer these questions quickly and don't contemplate on your answers, but wow did that seem like a dig. And if you look through the comments all of her rabid fans seemed to think so too and were loving it.

I thought a more accurate tweet would have been  “Red heads kiss my ass better than blondes."  ‘Cause Bex has had her lips permanently affixed to her ass for years now, just the way Lana likes it. 

Anonymous said:I'm indifferent about Wish Hook, and I wouldn't mind if his daughter was Alice and they got a storyline together, but they got nowhere in this episode? And going by the promo, the mess of the wish realm strikes again as Wish Hook was realm-traveling apparently. How did a non-wish Rapunzel from a separate realm come across someone who didn't exist until present-day 6x10? This is unexplainable.

Do we know that Rapunzel is from a separate realm and not from the Wish Realm?  It would be unbelievable to think that WishHook left the WISHAU before it was created with EQ’s “wish” in 6x10.  I think looking for any sort of logic or even in-universe fairy tale logic to make sense of anything to do with the WishRealm, including WishHook, is an exercise in futility.

It simply doesn’t make sense, and each episodes they change the rules to accommodate anything they want to do.  Of course I think it’s nonsense, but I’d still rather this and have CS safely tucked away from this ridiculous season, than have them using the real Hook this season.  Because honestly I don’t care about the integrity of the storytelling in S7, I only care about CS. (though that doesn’t stop me from poking fun at it.)

Anonymous said:I honestly was not one bit surprised when Colin said he was still under contract this season, but at the same time I do believe he enjoys playing this character and I'm sure he feels loyal to the show, it has been his big break. But I have to believe with the storylines and the material he's given, if not already, then by the end of filming he'll probably be in the same mind frame as Bobby. 100% only there for a paycheck. I just hope his agent is actively seeking better opportunities for him.

We really don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling, but low ratings have got to affect things on set in some way, so it sucks if he’s in any kind of stressful environment.  Even if it’s just them getting pressured to send out scripted PR tweets for each episode. On the upside, other than 7x02, he’s been in these eps so rarely, that I’d guess he’s not working more than 1-2 days per episode, which probably means a lot of time that he can be home with his family and newborn.  It might be a blessing for them right now. As I said we can’t know, but I just wish the best for him and his future career.

Anonymous said:Was there something wrong with the Rogers' scenes? I thought they were pretty decent, especially his interactions with Alice.

To all my anons wanting to know about Rogers scenes, you’ll have to come off anon if you want to chat about it. 

[dragonlands]

hannigram - an abusive relationship?

Spoiler alert: it’s not. (But it kind of is. I’ll go in depth about that in a moment.)

I wrote this for a conversation I had in twitter, and thought I wouldn’t need to post it here, but since I saw yet another person claiming that hannigram is abusive I thought I’d post this.

People use the term abusive about relationships that are unhealthy (in their opinion), as evindence for why it should not be shipped/supported. The correct definition of abuse is:

“Treating badly or injurously, mistreating, especially psysically.”

And of relationship abuse it is:

“A pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern of control.”

So according to this it is abusive, I get it. They both try to kill each other multiple times, they manipulate and lead each other on. They don’t sexually abuse each other though, which at least in my opinion is the worst sort of abuse and I couldn’t ship a couple who did that to one another.

The other thing in this description that doesn’t quite match Hannigram is “abuse tends to escalate over time – it is always a part of larger pattern of control”. The mental abuse between them is at it’s worst in S1 where Hannibal manipulates Will into believing he’s a killer - but this is not to show his power over him, it is simply the only way Hannibal can bring Will into his life. Hannibal has after the first half of S2 been ready to drop the manipulation and violence between them as soon as Will does. And I haven’t seen anyone blame Will of being the main abuser, even though it could be argued that it’s solely his fault that the abuse continues.

The reason why Hannigram doesn’t fit the normal description of abuse is because their relationship is meant to be read as symbolic, not as a literal ideal of love. It’s fiction, and it should be treated as such. Fiction is great, because we can explore possibilities and relationships etc. that aren’t possible in real life. Thankfully the majority in this fandom are really intelligent and understand this, and only few people have failed at understanding what the shoe is about. That group still exists, and that’s why I felt the need to post this

What I believe the antis actually mean when they say it’s abusive is not just that it is violent and manipulative, but that “It’s an abuser/abused relationship, Hannibal is evil and Will is innocent, their relationship won’t work and does more bad than good for both of them, or at least for Will”.

Like I said earlier, it’s not a healthy relationship and it’s not one that I literally want for myself or for anyone I care about - but it’s not unbalanced. At least when we reach the end of third season they are certainly equals, there’s no denying it. I understand that some people don’t ship it because it’s too far from an ideal realtionship, and that’s okay, but hating on it and denying the fact that they’re equals who both choose each other in the end is just plain ignorant.

Will has always been alone, always been different. His relationship with Hannibal gets so close so fast because Hannibal is the first person who actually sees him. I’m gonna quote a Hannigram fic here because I think it described their relationship so well. (Will to Hannibal:) “You always wanted me to be the best version of myself when no one else accepted me for what I already was.” Just like Hannibal let Will see him, Will also let Hannibal see him. Hannibal didn’t “make an innocent puppy become a murderer”, he helped him to become what he already had the potential for.

If the antis and/or deniers have only seen season one, I need to admit that I understand them. Will did kind of seem like an innocent dog loving introvert back then if you didn’t pay much attention to details (like how coldly he treats the parents of the missing girl, how he isn’t afraid of human contact but despises it, how his humor is so dark that it often shocks his colleagues and friends and so on. I could make a post about this, if anyone is interested about that let me know). The first season is about Hannibal manipulating everyone into thinking Will is a killer, experimenting on Will and he does seem like a coldhearted psychopath there.

In season two we see Will gaining more power back, him manipulating and even seducing Hannibal. He isn’t afraid to kill a man in the progress, he eats people with Hannibal almost flirtatiously. This is not what an “innocent” man would do, or even what innocent man physically could do. The darkness inside him is becoming more clear, and even he himself admits that even though he wants to, he can’t hate Hannibal.

Will (to Peter): “I envy your hate. Makes it much easier when you know how to feel.”

He still betrays Hannibal in mizumono (even though he does call him at the last minute to warn him). Before I always though it was just because Will was still trying to cling to some sort of morality, but after Hugh’s comments it is obvious that Will was also afraid Hannibal didn’t and/or couldn’t love him the way he loved him, and so he thought it would be dangerous for him to run away with him and trust Hannibal with his life and wellbeing. Here is what Hugh said:

“I think Will has probably in some way never conceived the possibility that Hannibal could be in love. I mean, he’s got such a black heart. The awareness that they have this connection is something Will knows and is probably in some way profoundly ashamed of, and is also, you know, he keeps coming back to and actually kinda fills him with joy as well. But I don’t think he’d ever give it the name love, because I don’t think he’d ever associate love with Hannibal. – He’s never thought of Hannibal as being capable of love. Because like most of us, he probably had love put off on a kind of pedestal, as an idea, a more perfect thing, as he made the awful realisation: ‘Oh crap, maybe this thing I’m feeling is like love.‘”

I think it is clear to everybody at this point that Hannibal loves Will. His love, though, isn’t your typical “murderer obsessed with a beautiful and innocent woman (obviously man in this case)”. Hannibal loves Will because they understand each other, because they share a way of seeing the world, but also because they have interesting conversations and because they share the same sense of himor and have fun together. In a way, it’s just normal love, just deeper and richer since neither of them has ever had a change to explore that kind of love with anyone else before.

So to conclude: if you take it literally, yes, it is abusive, but that doesn’t make it wrong to ship it, by Hannibal standards at least. (The whole show is a little fucked up so if you can’t live with that why are you here?) Also, it has been abusive until this point only because they (well, mostly Will) have still struggled to accept their feelings for each other. Hannibal has only physically hurt Will if he has betrayed his trust or tried to hurt him first. Personally I don’t believe Hannibal would ever hurt Will again if they were to be a real couple. He also stopped the mindgames and manipulation as early as when Will got out of prison, knowing what he was. And Will has hurt and betrayed Hannibal mostly because of the reasons I stated earlier, because he thought it was the only way to save himself. If they stopped their game of cat and mouse (a game of cat and mouse where the roles change from time to time, or maybe even better description would be a game of cat and cat like Bryan called it) I wholeheartedly believe that they could live in a relationship where neither of them abuses the other.

Like Bryan once said, the core of their relationship is that:

“They had imagined they were unique before they saw each other. Obviously it took Will longer to appreciate that because he didn’t quite realize what he was dealing with in Hannibal, but Hannibal sees it instantly. It’s two people who have never been - I mean Will probably wears it heavier - but still, essentially alone in the world and then see some kind of, maybe not mirror image but the other side of their coin.”

And like Hugh said:

“In a sense the two of them have been wandering the Earth, totally isolated, because they have such a specific and elevated mentality. Not identical, but it is as if not only are you the greatest chess player on the planet, you’re actually the only person on the planet that can play chess. And then suddenly you walk into a roon one day and there’s a guy playing chess. I think that’s how they feel about each other.”

If you leave out the murder and cannibalism and manipulation, Hannigram is about two people who are different than anyone else finding love in each other. Their relationship evolves slowly from friends to lovers, and even though they try to move on neither of them can because they share something so intimate. So in its own, weird and symbolic way, i think Hannibal and Will’s relationship is build on a much better base and is possibly even healthier than many other ships and canon couples out there.

[little-goose]

Okay, so I’ve put it off for a long time, because I just needed to wait or not think about it or what have you, but I am going to briefly chronicle my 2016 as the personal hell year for roommates. Just so I have it down somewhere.

So let’s start at the tail end of 2015. I was a few months into my college program with Disney, settling in and making plans for staying on once the internship was done, when the news that my current roommate was planning to move home to finish school. So around late November/early December i was very much like a passenger on a sinking ship, scrambling for a lifeboat. It didn’t matter if it was the nicest, or had the best people, it could’ve had a hole from which we had to keep bailing out water, but it would’ve been something.

A girl who worked in the same restaurant as me knew my situation but continuously never offered me a spot, instead telling me how she’d been apartment hunting with a few other girls and hoped I’d find something. 

For now, let’s call her Vacation Bible School (henceforth; VBS) because that was very much her. She didn’t know I was bisexual and within 10 minutes of meeting her I knew I couldn’t tell her that, which was fine, I’m very used to that now. However, she was very critical of the fact that I, as a 24 year old, drank socially. She would occasionally make comments like, “well if anyone here has done drugs, it might’ve been you.” In the way of someone who is trying to make a joke of it, but is 100% judging you for that. She also asked, first if I was Christian and when I said that I was agnostic, immediately asked if I went to church. Gonna let you think about answer number one for a minute, VBS. She also saw me bring some alcohol into the house and because it was more than one bottle of wine, told our roommates that she was worried that I was an alcoholic.

Anyways, we were friendly enough and I asked if she wouldn’t mind throwing my name out to any of the CPs also staying on after our internship ended on the 2nd of January. She said she would. 

Who I found was a girl I did not know well, and didn’t particularly care for, because my first conversation with her included the classic, “Well, with d*sney, assume a guy is gay until proven straight.” But again, I was on a sinking ship, and I figured I could just live amicably enough and not talk about anything except the weather and Harry Potter. Let’s just call her M. 

Problem is, in Southern California, you can’t afford to have less than 2 or 3 roommates in a 2 bedroom apartment, working for somewhere like Disney. So I still needed something else.

In comes VBS, halfway through December saying two girls dropped out of her living plans (why didn’t you notice, past Julia?) at the same time and she wanted me to fill those spots. 

Long story short, I ended up in an apartment with VBS, M, and another girl from my restaurant I didn’t know, who was Batshit™ Crazy (BS). Due to an error on VBS’ part, because she INSISTED on being the primary name on the lease, we lost our 2 bedroom for the first month, and we were four people in a one bedroom. For one month, until another 2 bed was available. 

We move in and oh boy wasn’t that fun. Because I was the only one who had furniture from living more or less on my own in Washington, I had a small uhaul brought down. Which is fair, since most of the furniture was stuff that we needed and did not have to buy. 

Right off the bat, VBS was telling other people “can you believe she brought a uhaul for all her stuff? all our furniture is either her or BS’ I feel like I can’t use it.” As a side note, I was determined to make that situation as easy as possible, and enthusiastically (stupidly) said I was happy to share pretty much all my stuff with them. In retaliation, VBS personally allotted us spaces in all the closets and cupboards we had, when we weren’t home one day.

Our first month is nearing its end and me and BS have been getting along better once we find some similar interest and briefly talk about changing our rooming situation when we move, since we get along a little better. Plus, she had a loft bed and I had a queen, so practicality dictated this made the most sense. 

And surprise, it did because 2 bedroom apartments in SoCal are TINY. So BS and I agree to speak to our respective planned roommates (VBS-BS, Me-M) about this. I send M a text briefly explaining the space situation and I would like to find time to talk in person, before we move to hash it out.

She chooses not to reply. And to also not speak to me for the next 3 days. We sat in a room with all four of us, and I was just not there to her. I thought it was weird but didn’t press it then.

Cut to the day before move-in. We get the go ahead to move in a day early because of my renter’s insurance (I was the only one with it, since it was only necessary for one, and I already had a plan that I could easily change). At which point, M and VBS finally deign to talk to me about the situation. They wait for BS to take a load of stuff across the complex before approaching me to say that they think it was a, “shitty, passive-agressive thing to do,” and I had a chickenshit way of approaching my problems and that wasn’t a conversation to have over text (I didn’t, of course). And apparently, BS is in no way to blame or involved in this, she just keeps saying she wants to move in. Doesn’t support me, or deny me but still moves both of our things into the same room. We stop for maybe an hour and a half to have this conversation between me, M, and VBS in which I am tired from moving, I want to just have a room in which my bed isn’t pressed against my roommate’s and a person I can stand talking to. 

M finally lets it go, but only after she claims the “master” bedroom for herself and VBS, and grudgingly lets go of extra storage space for herself as compensation. 

The next move in day, M decides that the day we’ve all set aside to finish moving is the day she needs to go on a tinder date, and leaves around noon, expecting us to move her things into her apartment for her. We all leave it there, with her new keys and go to a movie. Come home that night to a facebook post about fake people and real friends. Because you know, we didn’t move her shit while she went on a date.

From February to maybe June, the most she and I interact is when she gives me her share of bills which I pay (consistently a few days late).

The trouble there, stems from BS and VBS. I was comfortably going along assuming how great it was that I made a friend like BS, who I knew well and could share things with. (Turns out she consistently posted about me on twitter for pretty much the whole year). The worst was probably in late april, when I think I subconsciously realized how much stress my living situation was beginning to cause me but couldn’t put a voice to, because I had a full breakdown on my floor and she came in to “help me out” and I ended up opening up to her, stupidly assuming I could trust this girl.

And why shouldn’t I? While we were still on speaking terms (circa march 2016) she was telling me how awful VBS really was. How she’d lied to BS that M and I were such great friends and wanted to live with them. How I was some alcoholic party kid who was so sarcastic and rude. I mean, she was so wrong, I was a good friend. And my traumatized ass, who can count all my healthy relationships on one hand, was weak to someone going “I love this girl” when I said something funny. Who laughed at my jokes and brought me starbucks at work. I genuinely wanted to believe that this girl and I could be friends for a long time.

But around late April, early May, I suddenly was not on speaking terms with any of my roommates. No warning, one morning BS and VBS were gone, and BS had blocked me on all forms of social media. It was only once I’d logged out of twitter and wandered to her account that I’d seen all the things she’d been saying. 

This continues through summer, while at the same time drama was starting at work (that’s a whole different can of worms tbh but what a story that is too). When I realized that my roommate situation wasn’t great, a group of kids (R2P2) kind of welcomed me into our group, where they didn’t welcome VBS. And again I felt so relieved that I was making friends. And in reality, they are all a lot younger (19-20) than me and I can’t fault them for how things went. But they came over one night when I was seriously frightened by a text BS sent me about “want to tell me about how all of our restaurant thinks we’re the worst roommates ever when i get home?” And they took me out when she came home and stayed over night in our living room. Politely and quietly. We left before anyone was up, and halfway through breakfast with them, I get a text saying that I wasn’t allowed guests unless my roommates were told beforehand and approved of them coming. Not entirely unreasonable, until you consider that it’s not the courteous heads-up she wanted, but the ability to flat out say “no you can’t.”

I spent a week sleeping on my friends couches because the stress of being at home when people slammed doors to let you know they were there, moving your shit, waking you up when they decided you’d had enough sleep (even though you work til 3 am some nights), and never knowing when they’ll break their vow of silence to tell you what shit you were doing wrong, was too much. 

Then they stopped paying me their shares of bills in July. Until the remote for my television in the living room disappeared for a day and a half. Not misplaced. Gone. 

It was brought back when I told them the internet password. They still hadn’t paid me.

But not to worry, almost every day I woke up to notes on the fridge or notes that would fall out of cupboards when opened, letting us all know about who shouldn’t touch what and how much everyone should clean. Because, of course, M wouldn’t want us to be passive-agressive about things.

It took a group text to get them to do so. And my telling them that I can remove privileges to my possessions when necessary. Even so, I began to notice things of mine were getting misplaced and when I’d ask BS, assuming she didn’t flat out ignore me, she didn’t know. Of course she didn’t. Til I found some of my stuff in her drawers. I didn’t ask.

On the morning of my birthday, I wake up next to a card from BS, which took a whole page to say she didn’t know why we grew apart, but she thought it might have been a little bit her fault and she wanted to make amends. And clearly she did a great job. Her bandaid birthday present to me was a sheet of cat stickers.

And somehow we returned to a tentative talking situation and I clung to it because it was better than finally admitting that I had signed a 13 month lease with the Bitches of East End, and I was only halfway through. She didn’t unblock me–where else would she complain about me—but she definitely talked to me to complain about our roommates. Apparently she could only stay friends with VBS for 3½ months. She was a big fan of throwing the first stone, then letting other people take over so she could seem like the nice, reasonable one. Idiot Julia didn’t catch on quick.

But I did finally realize that I needed to get out. I started looking for new apartments, but I couldn’t post anything on a roommate facebook page where VBS and M were members, because I didn’t want to say anything about leaving until I knew I had a safety net. It was a lot of hunching over apartments.com listings like they were porn, from september to december.

All while peppered with continuous notes from M and BS, though the latter, she promised, was not directed at me. By november at least BS and VBS started paying me for bills again, though never paid me back the months they just elected to ignore my presence. M, however, wrote me a letter in which she detailed why she did not have to pay me for either renters insurance or back months of internet. She even did the (incorrect) math, to show me how much I should be charging her, not that she ever paid me more than a third of it. When I agreed to let her out of paying for the last few months, in which I never gave her the password again, VBS insisted I still charge her, because it was unreasonable to split a payment between three of us. So she tried to get out of paying again. In the end, internet won out for her.

Turns out though, in January, no one felt the need to communicate their living plans, so M tried to keep our current apartment without telling us, which she couldn’t without our approval, VBS was going to leave early to move home, and BS wanted to keep our apartment too. Nothing like having your landlords comment on the drama in your apartment every time you try to pick your mail up. I also don’t recommend hearing about your roommate’s moving plans from your landlord first. 

The good news is I did find a place to live, and a friend of mine was ready and willing to move down two states to live with me, the only tricky bit was moving out. 

Mostly because VBS moved out a week early, and opted to not do any cleaning or repairs before she left. She also left with one of our keys, and expected us to help her pay the fine. Cute. 

In the end, I was the last one to officially leave, because I had to move essentially all my stuff out and into a uhaul by myself, after a friend left after an hour of help. And then move it to storage for a week. But because of this, they left me with a kitchen and living room full of odds and ends garbage to throw out and clean. Despite the fact that they still had a day to come back and finalize it all.

And while there were plenty of awful conversations, texts, and notes in between this, I made it out, with most of my stuff. They did damage some things, including a mug I’d had for years and a tablecloth I’d inherited from my Oma, and I still find small things missing now and then. But I made it out. And I live with an amazing friend. 

The downside is, of course, after having been in survival mode for essentially 14 months, and finally being in a safe place, the depressive episode hit hard and fast. And even that I wanted to deny, because it didn’t feel fair that I finally had a good thing going and now my depression was back. But it was, and still is, and I’m finally working on that. The good news is unlike last time, it didn’t take a year and a half for me to recognize it for what it was and try and get help again. 

So, if you read all that, I hope it clears up some of my vague posts from the last year, some of my absences or weird tags. I feel bad that I did have friends reach out and offer support, but I just couldn’t say it at the time. And I want to blanket thank you all those people, several of which are on here, who tried to support me as best I could, even when I downplayed how I was feeling. It’s been months and it’s only now that I wanted to face it in its entirety and realize I wasn’t overreacting, and I wasn’t always in the wrong. 

Sometimes, it really isn’t you, it’s them.