#i know this would never happen because of allll the special cases

[kargaroc]

I know I can play a pmd randomizer but I wish they made a pmd game where you and partner can be whatever non-special pokemon you want to be, like the whole game is built with this in mind

[bbq-hawks-wings]

Chapter 316: BBQ is capable of critiquing BNHA and… Oh boy.

Let's start this off properly, Horikoshi's typical quality of writing has been diminishing in recent chapters, but this week it was so different that it didn't even feel like Horikoshi was the one who wrote it.

To be clear, I'm not blaming Horikoshi for the issues I'm about to bring up. The man is criminally overworked, usually doesn't even get the final say in what makes it in the final drafts, and even in his other rough patches he's still produced decent chapters that hold up amongst the grand scheme of things. This feels like something else is going on behind the scenes, and while I have my suspicions on who/what might be the culprit behind it, I choose not to share it at this time because if I name names some people might go off on a crusade, and that's not what I want.

I just want to be clear that I'm not blindly firing off shots in the dark, but despite my frustrations I want to wait to see if this gets resolved down the line, and while I do I can complain about the specific reasons this chapter left such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Buckle up, buttercups, because we got a lot of points to cover.

Where's the Gun?

Not a literal gun, but I mean Chekhov's Gun. It has always been a staple of Horikoshi's writing and the reason so many of his long-standing plot lines have paid off so well.

Chekhov's Gun is a writing principal that if you see a gun on the table in the first act of a play, it will be used in the murder that happens in act 2. Basically, the author should include details that are relevant to the story and not betray the audience by leading them in one direction and at the last minute pull the rug out from underneath them to go in another direction.

Horikoshi has done this to phenomenal success in the past. Just as one example, he dropped hints about Nomu being human experiments early in the series but held off explicitly stating it for a while. He hinted at the loss of Shirakumo in the main narrative and that he was important to Aizawa and Mic as well as approved it for Vigilantes so when it was revealed that Kurogiri was Shirakumo's body, not only did it narratively make sense but it also pulled in Eraserhead and Present Mic's emotional stakes into the battle with the Doctor, and then when Ujiko reveals he was after Aizawa's quirk the whole time it made the payoff for Mic punching him in the face all that much better and brings the weight of his crimes and the impact they have on the victims full circle.

That's 3 different guns paying off in the long run: the Nomu, Shirakumo, and both Mic and Eraserheads' personal arcs past the loss of their childhood friend and that they could finally finish processing their grief and avenge him in full righteous fury instead of chalking it all up to cruel chance.

He has left details, some particularly innocuously, in plot lines like the Touya Todoroki reveal, Hawks' backstory, Shigaraki's blood connection to Nana Shimura, even with Mr. Compress's backstory, and more. When re-read, these details become more obvious and usually leaves us with a greater sense of satisfaction in the plot knowing that twists and turns were not only planned, but built up to and hinted at for us to find so the payoff is that much better and it feels purposeful instead of just shock factor.

None of that happened this chapter.

Lady Nagant has zero business being in this plotline. She was never hinted about before this arc, and her existence does nothing to tell us about the plot moving forward or the world that they're trying to change. Nothing her existence provides actually has any bearing on the universe or tells us anything we don't already know. But that's not how she was presented.

In the beginning we're given a glimpse of her helping Overhaul escape from Tartarus. The focus on her was odd enough to begin with as a new character, and the fact that she didn't look like she fit the profile of someone who belonged in Tartarus was like a flashing neon sign saying, "Pay attention! This new character is important!!!" She then shows up later with Overhaul in hand to attack Deku out of the blue. We get her talking about how she thought Overhaul might be useful and her disillusions with Hero Society. We catch her mannerisms with eery similarity to Hawks only to find out immediately after she was a senior colleague in the HPSC. Never once to my knowledge has Hawks referred to any of his senior colleagues as a "senpai" - not even his fellow heroes - and when he catches her in midair, he uses the words, "Don't die on me, senpai!" as if she's near and dear to his heart.

The entire character arc is set up for her to have known about Hawks and grapple with her desire to help people and her fear of re-creating what she hated, and this also set up Hawks to be the successor who succeeded where she failed and helped bring her to a place where she could be a hero without guilt again. What actually happened?

They're strangers.

They have never actually met before, and while he seems to know a lot about her, she doesn't even seem to have any idea of who he was - at least as far as being another hero under the thumb of the HPSC. So ALLLL that setup, all that gesturing, and all of the potential themes that would be right at home in an arc like this goes completely out the window.

Her story doesn't tell us anything new. The HPSC bad. We knew that. They're not above throwing innocents under the bus to achieve that goal. We knew that. They preyed upon young hopefuls with powerful quirks with the intent to maintain the status quo. We knew that even if the fact that Hawks isn't the only one now makes more questions than answers. We know that these young heroes can never say no under threat of steep, life-shattering consequences. We knew that already.

So what does Lady Nagant even bring to the table?! The entire "you're just a puppet doing what you've been told" angle is a little tired and out of place in this point and time with actual anarchy in the streets (not to mention hypocritical considering she was a blind puppet following orders and offers zero actual solutions that supposedly fall in line with her heroic nature), and it could have been left to any number of other villain characters who could have executed on the theme better - you know, like Shigaraki who's justification this entire time has been, "hero society doesn't make people safe, it just makes them feel safe" from the moment of his inception.

So from that angle she's unnecessary.

Her presence messes with the continuity of the series as well. If Hawks is supposed to explicitly replace her, that would mean that he wasn't just a fluke find on the commission's part and grabbed to mold into their own special superweapon; and that also would mean that her killing of the former president was before he was discovered which should put her at least in her forties. If this isn't the case, and he was meant to simply replace her in a "special agent" case, that still begs the question of how many more gifted children the commission preyed upon and are still out there.

And maybe the worst kicker for me is that something stinks. The way the art in this chapter is presented, if you completely blanked out the speech bubbles, is the same setup I had before - Hawks reaches out to his former mentor and pulls her from the brink of despair with a moving message about why he never gave up hope in being a hero who could actually make a difference.

Again, this is not what we got. He claims he knows her, and it's implied to have been a deep, personal character witness; but at best he only knows about her from secondhand sources. Even his reasoning as to how he never lost hope doesn't vibe with his character.

We have gotten so many cool one-liners for Hawks, but there has always been a consistent tone and imagery with them.

"Those who can fly, should."

"I don't belong in a cage."

"I'm free of my shackles."

"Can I be a shining light, just like him?"

What we got was, "I'm an optimist to a fault" which was the wording the official release went with and was by far the best iteration I have seen, but even this falls short of being truly in character for him and answering her question properly.

@mikeana made an edit of the titular panels for us Hawks stans this week with dialogue we and a few other friends felt was more fitting not only with the imagery of the chapter itself but internally consistent with the specific expressions Hawks uses in his heartfelt, personal dialogue. I just tweaked it a little bit more to fit what I was going for in our original conversation.

Which brings me to another concern.

2. What's the point?

There was no use for Nagant in the series as she's been presented so far. But more than that, Hawks has no business in this fight to begin with. He literally did nothing to earn this emotional moment, and this should have been Deku's moment.

We were teased in an interview with Horikoshi that Hawks was going to get a special moment as an important end-game character as a "shining light" of hope for others to follow as well as promises for Ochako to have another moment in the spotlight to make a difference.

If this was Hawks' shining light moment, it wasn't necessary, and it does nothing to move the plot forward or develop characters in any true or believable way. It just happened because plot. This should have been Deku's victory through and through, and even he is the reason BOTH Hawks and Nagant made it out alive instead of painting the street below them.

Deku's victory was stolen from him, too. It sours the other promises made to us about other characters moving forward, as well, if this really was Hawks' "Shining Light" moment.

By the way, did you forget about Overhaul? Me too!!! What was the point of getting our hopes up about reintroducing this beloved character with the implications this was a major arc setup to have him scream about pops and then get detained with no clues about what's going to happen to him besides, "Say you're sorry to Eri, and you get to see pops"?!

All this posturing and clumsy narrative flailing only actually succeeded in getting Deku in front of AFO again for plot when we already know Mr. Potato Head could summon, show himself to, or find Deku at any time he wanted. But instead we get this time skip with a bunch of heroes completely mended walking into a big, spooky mansion for AFO to evil monologue at Deku for… *counts*

FOUR PAGES!!!

Only to then give him the "I want YOU!" point over a pre-recorded message and the final nail in the coffin to me that something is off.

3. Ex-pu-LOOOO-SHUN!

It's become almost a game among friends to count how many explosions have happened since the end of the war arc - and specifically fake-out explosions. In the end of 311 we get All Might's car attacked via explosion and Deku cornered by Nagant only for All Might to be fine in the next chapter. In 315 Lady Nagant herself explodes in a blaze of glory to once again not be dead.

Gee! I wOnDeR if aLl the heroes were AcTuAlLy cornered and KiLlEd in that explosion in the mansion!

None of us do. They're fine. We're going to see it first thing next week. The shock has worn off, and it's repetitive and annoying at this point. There is no cliffhanger despite how the framing might try to tell you otherwise.

It's BAD WRITING.

The writing has been moving far too quickly and clumsily with no explanation in sight, and even character interactions are being cut short to the point of them being meaningless and empty.

This doesn't even feel like Horikoshi's bad writing. It feels like someone else is trying to call the shots and rushing him through these final bits of the series, and he's run out of things he's previously set up for months and months to reappear so someone is trying to get Dabi-reveal levels of attention with arcs and storylines that don't have the build-up to result in a satisfactory payoff.

4. At least it can get better... I hope.

Maybe those who share my suspicions or know what particular suspicions I have are with me in believing that this is a temporary disappointment and we haven't seen the last of the writing that's captivated me for years. I don't blame Horikoshi for these glaring faults that all came to a head in this chapter.

It CAN get better later, and I think it WILL- we just probably are going to have to wait for it. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the Hawks panels we got, maybe edit the last few chapters to be more in line with something more like the BNHA I know in a "fix it fic" fashion so I don't groan in anticipation of how long it might take us to get there.

See you all next week, hopefully on a much brighter note.

[barryallenis]

Candice did a rare podcast interview today and she did not hold back. SOMETHING happened on set in S1 that 1) turned her off from actually watching the show and 2) made her seriously consider quit. Basically without Jesse on set she would’ve quit a lot sooner

Hi there. I have not listened to it, outside of the short clip Candice posted on her insta story, no.

If that is the case that something happened on set in season 1 (which I believe she has hinted at before in past interviews as well if my memory is not playing tricks on me), that really fucking sucks. And I feel for her because I can barely imagine what it could have been like. Both for my lack of knowledge of what I view as the hellscape that is being in the public eye and working in that industry, but also specifically as a black women, which I cannot relate to. We already know how absolutely vile the public was to her from the very start, and it absolutely infuriates me that a large part of why she stayed (per the clip from instagram and several other interviews) was because of her fans. Because that tells me that, yet again, a black women feels the pressure to withstand so much bullshit because of what it means for ‘black representation’. A weight she should not have to bare nor feel she needs to. She wants to be an inspiration and barrier breaker so that those that come behind her have an easier time at … literally just playing a character on a television show. That’s what this women had to endure racism, hate and toxicity for. A fucking TV show. I respect her for doing it but it’s fucking bullshit that she had to.

ALLLL that being said. I will say, if she didn’t explicitly say WHAT happened (I’m assuming here she didn’t, based off what you said) I don’t think speculation is a great thing to add to the situation. Support definitely is. Sharing that you’re angry anyone or anything would make her feel this way, is. But diving deep into her personal life and timelines, creating narratives, and attacking people based on these theories is just a recipe for disaster. And clearly not what she want’s if she herself wasn’t specific.

We’ll never get all the pieces right. We can’t. We literally weren’t there. So speculation just muddles down the point it seems she’s trying to get across. She was treated poorly for no goddamn reason, and her fans should kick up a storm and be angry, but not to the point where it get’s so personal and assertively and specially speculative it blows back on her. Because it will. It’s her LIFE you’d be speculating about. A women who has said on several occasions she takes her privacy very seriously.

Not trying to say you are doing any of this, anon, sorry to be using your post to word vomit. I’ve gotten several messages regarding this podcast that I don’t plan on answer for many of the reasons listed above. I mean, me asserting any opinion about a piece of content I haven’t listened to is the definition of speculative imo (also just ignorant). So I was kind of using this to speak my peace. Most of this is based off previous knowledge, as well as just my general viewpoints around people and celebs and privacy, so if anything I’ve said was contradicted in her podcast, I own that.

[raccoonpoptart]

main six with a demigod mc

part two! nsfw ✨

warnings: mentions of sex (it is eros we’re talking about)

genderneutral!

this was requested by @swimmingtragedyobservation ! thank you :) i used this post as a reference, as well as this website. this ended up being super long so i had to edit it a lot 🍓 i think this will be a series now hehe also can you tell muriel is my favorite omg

In this, mc will be a child of Eros (love and sex). Children of eros tend to be very flirty, mischievous, and even sometimes cunning. they are very attractive, keeping a youthful look even as they get older. in some cases, children of eros are fiercely compassionate and loyal to those they care about. Some of their abilities include (only listing the ones that will be mentioned): emotional energy beam, shield of love, archery, relationship detector, feelings manipulation (will only be used in a positive way~). they can even create wings and fly for short periods of time. i like to think children of eros have an aura that radiates pure love.

Asra

you probably only flirted with him once and he was head over heels for you (without you even meaning for it to happen)

both of you have beautiful hair and skin, people tend to be very jealous of how soft and youthful you both always look

you two are ‪inseparable‬! always kissing, hugging, holding hands, etc. basically always touching in some way

once tried to prove how much he loved you, but you did him one better and used your love for him to create an energy beam and burned your names together inside a heart into a fallen tree

he cried

teases you by saying it’s surprising you didn’t use your powers to make him love you as much as he does because he loves you a LOT

constantly tells you how beautiful/handsome you are (let’s be honest, he’s always showering you with all kinds of compliments)

tries to play matchmaker for people with you (“mc, do you want to grab your bow and play cupid today~”)

asks you to use some of your energy to make love potions more potent 🌸 he LOVES love (you even help with sex potions or charms)

you help him with love readings for people when he does tarot

always so amazed whenever you’re able to create wings and calls you angel all the time because of it

you go with him on his trips whenever possible and you love flying with him! not too much because that’s a lot of magic and he would cry if you got hurt

he can sense when you’re close based on your aura and always gets so excited when he knows he’s going to see you

just for fun: i think you guys would make necklaces that glow when you think of each other for when he’s away

(you always have very passionate sex, maybe a little too often~ you both absolutely love being intimate when you’re alone and would use magic of some sorts in bed)

Nadia

always amazed at your beauty and makes sure to tell you how wonderful you look everyday

loves to give you beautiful clothing and make sure your hair is done, especially for important occasions

surprised when you tell her how old you are, cause she must admit she was weary about starting anything with you since you look much younger

she always gives you the nicest gifts like beautiful blankets, your favorite foods, body sprays, soaps, and more

when you told her you were a child of eros, she found it very interesting and asked if you had used your charm on her (“i’m only teasing! who wouldn’t fall in love with you, darling~”)

one of her favorite things is watching you interact with someone who was flirting, you immediately use your powers to make them lose all interest and walk away

loves when you make her room extra beautiful while she’s gone (her favorite flowers on the bed, using your magic to make it always smell like her favorite incense, etc)

finds it hilarious when you whisper about people’s relationships to her (“oh, i knew i sensed a spark between them! do you think any of our friends have been together?”)

adores how compassionate you are and loves to be taken care of by you (although she prefers to pamper you, she won’t pass up an oppurtunity to have your love wash over her)

loves when you leave her secret love letters for her around the palace, especially when you charm them and she can feel your love humming in her chest even if you’re away

she loves kisses on the forehead, on her hands, and shoulders

you never miss out on an oppurtunity to make a grand gesture of love for her! particularly likes when you recite poetry to her and give her flowers

at night you both love taking care of each other, starting with brushing hair, massages, venting, and especially getting her to relax in anyway (she is a countess with tons of responsibility after all)

(sex becomes a very passionate, and intimate thing for you two as well as something that helps heal nadia after particularly difficult days)

Julian

saw your wings once and has not stopped making the “did it hurt when you fell from heaven~” jokes

Flirting Competitions. that’s all

played off his doubt when you told him you were a child of eros by saying something lame like “you’re so breath-taking, i should have expected you’d be not of this world”

you sometimes use your energy beam to draw little hearts for him on his desk (it reminds him to take care of himself when you’re not around)

your aura would get a little addicting for julian

practically melts anytime you touch him because he can just feel your love for him radiating off you

like nadia, he was surprised when you revealed your age because he was expecting you to be wayyy younger

always asks you to pick up on people’s love lives, trying to place bets on if two people have slept together or not (just for fun)

calls you his god/goddess/goddex (genderneutral version), angel, darling, my love and cupid for obvious reasons hehe

did someone say date night every night?? because you guys do <3 even if it’s just little things like sitting outside and looking at the stars together, you both love making time for each other

always kissing or holding each you in some way, he can’t help but feel some comfortable and safe when you’re around

‪definitely‬ reenacts dramatic love scenes with you allll the time

he never thought he deserved love before but now he’s with the literal epitome of love and now he can’t imagine a life without you (please treat him like a god and never hurt him omg)

sometimes gets insecure, and unsure of why someone so gorgeous and caring would love him

you always remind him he deserves love in all kinds of ways when words don’t work (love letters at work, making him charms that make him feel your love and comfort at all times, always pampering him because it’s easy for you to take care of others, etc)

(you guys probably have way too much sex too but it’s just so intoxicating and he lovesss feeling loved you absolutely love being able to show him you love him physically as well, and he’d do anything for you)

Muriel

you have to tone down the flirting a bit but you always make sure to compliment him! too much will make him do the windows xp shutdown noise

both of you make charms for each other, his are protective charms and yours are so he can still feel your aura (so he never feels alone again)

blushes so much every time you shower him with love and after a while he becomes comfortable with being super loving (it does take a long time if we’re being honest)

your aura is very intense for him at first but it eventually becomes something that he finds very comforting and can sense when you’re close

loves how you’re so loving with not only him, but with inanna and the other animals of the forest. your compassion never ceases to amaze him

at the beginning he would probably apologize a lot because you show him so much love so easily and it’s a bit harder for him but eventually realizes because it’s so easy for you, it’s not a burden, you just genuinely love pampering him

sometimes thinks he’s not doing enough but you almost cry every time he gives you a gift because you can feel how much love he put into it :(

even if you’re smaller than him he still loves when you spoon him and run your hands through his hair

making shields becomes so easy for you because of how much love you have for him and inanna but he still feels a bit bad when you use it (he wants to protect you but you slammed that uno reverse card down baby 🌸)

you burned a heart into his table to remind him he’s not alone anymore

you also used your energy beam to make a small inanna drawing on a rock and he loved it so much but all he said was “it’s nice” (you could tell he adored it)

his favorite thing is when you kiss his chest (where his heart is because i love being cheesy)

speaking of cheesy, whenever you hold him you alwayssss drag your finger in a heart shape on him (his favorite is when you do it on his palms or his back)

heart shaped EVERYTHING <3

(sex would always be very special, soft, and sensual because you both make sure to make the other feels as loved as possible)

Portia

absolutely stunned by how gorgeous you are

loves playing with your hair!! she always puts flowers behind your ears and kisses the crown of your head

once you told her, she started making everything heart shaped for you

you started to do the same for her because she almost cried the first time you did

would 100% make the “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” joke just because of your wings

pepi can always tell when you’re close so she alerts portia (cue the loud excited meowing)

love letters become a normal between you two, you always come home to find one slipped under the door (“i was just passing by, had to say hello to you, mc~”) and she always finds one somewhere in her cottage or somewhere you know she’ll find it

once you had pepi send one to her and at first she thought pepi wrote it till she read it then she cried

you guys hug each other ALL THE TIME and you make sure to kiss her cheeks every given chance!!! affection is a big thing for both of you

loves when you pamper her, which is good for you because you absolutely love showering her with love, affection, gifts, you name it (you even burned your names into a tree for her)

plants tons of flowers in her garden just for you!! (ex: flowers that are the same color as your eyes, hair, or your favorite color! she even plants your favorite flowers)

one of her favorite things is when you write love poems for her

whenever you spend the night, your aura would probably linger in her cottage for a while and she loves it so much especially when she misses you

because of that, you “accidentally” leave your clothes there a lot just for her to wear them :’)

(sex would most likely happen any chance you guys get because you’re both busy, but it’s always very heated and tender~)

Lucio

did not expect you to actually like his bad pickup lines

‪definitely‬ didn’t expect you to flirt back either and almost melted on the spot (but had to play it cool)

your intensity is so attractive to him but also so intimidating, he can’t help but be drawn to you

the fact that you love him makes him feel like a god (you find it adorable but make sure he doesn’t let it go overboard)

he would NEVER admit it but he’s jealous of how perfect you look effortlessly (based of the hairline joke asra has made, i’m sure he’d be super envious of your hair since it’s naturally full and beautiful)

does everything he can to show you he loves you just as much as you love him because your love and compassion inspires him to be a better person

ex: buys you everything you want, has paintings done for you, always gives you beautiful clothes and jewelry, has a room made in the palace just for your stuff (but you sleep in his room anyway), etc.

you love to show him how much you love him too, but in different ways! ex: massages, making him sweets, poems, drawings if you’re an artist, constantly telling him he’s doing great and that you love him, etc.

loves making grand gestures of love!! has parties dedicated to you, redoes the garden just for you, and has the entire colliseum redone to your liking (would even have it taken down if you asked)

this man is deeply in love with you

his favorite thing is when you kiss his cheek or his forehead and neck

you once used your energy beam to make an ice sculpture for him but he was devastated when it had eventually melted away

instead, you decided to make him a charmed stuffed animal of a goat (whenever he hugs it your aura washes over him)

he pretended to find it silly at first but he keeps it safely on his bed and hugs it whenever you’re gone

the only times you can get him to relax is when you take baths, or when you give him massages in bed and run your hands through his hair (he absolutely loves this especially when you kiss him tons and tell him how much you love him )

(sex would probably happen often, and it would go back and forth between him doing the most one time, to you doing the most another time. you both love being super intimate and you both love showing each other how much you adore the other)

requests are open!

this is so long oops! it was so fun because honestly with an eros!mc of course every character would feel loved ALL THE TIME! i love this lmao it’s such a cute concept i love love 🌸 i hope you enjoyed and feel free to add on to anything ✨ i love doing greek mythology themed things, so i think i will make this a series :) let me know which god or goddess i should do next! i was thinking aphrodite but maybe it would be too similar to this one. i’m not sure, but i have more ideas 🍓🍓🍓 thankyou

[just-some-random-blogger]

December Dates

Seventeen Summary: In the spirit of Christmas, boyfriend!svt is here to take you on a date. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, crackkkkkk, v many typos,etc.

R E Q U E S T

my friend: seventeen + cute

A/N: HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU HOS (jk) HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Also ashdiepl because im writing on a tab, i couldnt add any gifs so aksjemksksmsksksmskskdk alsO im so sorry i dont remember if the request is platonic or nah but kaksksksk this is what u get soz

-----

Alright

So no gifs

Imma just do a header real quick so u know wassap

S. Coups

Das better

hi header

I might delete u later if i get on a pc

But firsT seuNgcheEolL

*deep breath*

Ho u lucky enough to breath the same air he does

N now u are on aa date with him

WoWw

So bf!seungcheol is a cute lil snowflake

Which means he'll buy u an ugly ass Christmas sweater and matching gloves

THAT MATCHES THE ONES HE BOUGHT FOR HIMSELF OFC

then yall go out and play in the powdery snow outside

ImGine seungcheol grabbing yOuR hand 

cebAuse u a dumb loser that slips on nothing

Also warmth

pulling your scarf up a bit because he can tell you're getting cold

Then like a gentleman

will pUSH U INTO THE SNOW

AND START A FRICKIN SNOW WAR

HE'll hit ur dumb face he dont care

He'll maKe u wish u Stayed damn home

Rapid fire frikin snow granades man

Course iz all a bita fun

Then he'll let u win

Cause he does care Bout ur dumb Fce

Also he soft for u gross

Then once that's done he'll start laughing

Not because of post-snow ball fight adrenaline

But because he thinks himself so funny

When he busts a lung screaming "dO Ya wana biLd aSNOEMAN!!!!!"

AND THEN U decline and leave him in the snow

"YAAAAA WE HAVE TO BUILD A SNOWMAN THOUGH!" he'll laugh

U literally wana leave him and his annoying ass

U stomp away

He laughs and goes after u

His hot breath is visible 

and hits your ear when he comes up and wraps his arms around you from behind

U be like, "listen stupid, u corny af, lets break up"

Seungcheol would pout and kiss ur cheek, "nah, u still owe me hot choco. Break up with me after paying me back."

"Ew, why would i pay u back tho"

"Uh cause if you don't imma do thisss," then he proceeds to shove u into the snow again

"CHOI. SEUNG. CHEEOOOLLLLLLLLLLALAKAKAOKS!"

Ok well i have to cut this here first cos there are 12 boys left

Oh Hi hello u here back to ur regular programme

Jeonghan

Yiz

Unlike cheol

Dis ho not about to get cold 4 u uhm

Leave the cold for someone else

But get warm together

I mean

Wink wINKkkkk

Jk gtfo

This is a wholesome headcanon

Git warm he would gladly

So u know what dat means

CUddlEs

Imagine cuddling jeonghan

BoIii

It's da holidays

Which mean he bout to get dat $$$leep

Of course u dont mind that ur just sleeping in

Gurl if ya do

Let me stress out

If you mind sleeping in and cuddling with yoon jeong han

GUrL

Wathu doin????

AnYWAY

ITz u and him right

Ur in bed reading the novel he got u beforehand right

Look at u looking cute in knit sweater and glasses

EVEN IF U DONT NEED THEM THERE ARE GLZSSES

IM TRYING TO MAKE A SCENE HERE WORK WITH ME

it could be jeonghan's ur using it as a headband shhhh

So like ur sitting down

N beside u its jeonhan v slightly snoring

Right right right

Then ur like "man i want something to eat cause i've been sitting here reading all day"

But also ur always hungry

Cause who isnt tho lol

ANYWAY UR ABOUT TO STZND UP

but jeonghan like a needy ho is like noooooooooooodontgo

N ur like

aww wat a needy ho

"Jeonghan im just gonna get something to eat"

"Eat laterrr, i need u now"

He'll keep his eyes shut and shimmy over

Securing an arm on your  hip so u wont go

U roll ur eyes and put your book away on the cabinet next u

"Jeonghan ive literally been next to u since last night. I'm just gonna get something to eat, and 4 u 2!"

He'll flutter his eyes open only to close them and move even closer to place his head on ur lap

"I dont want toooooo"

U roll ur eyes again and shimmy out of his grip

But only to get into his arms and hide your face in his chest

"You're so needy," u note

"Says you who's tangling themselves on me"

"Touché"

Joshua

Okay

Get this

Joshua and gingerbread houses

He probably used to build one growing up

And he has just the person in mind he wants to rekindle the tradition with

Congrats u filthy animal

So he took the liberty of getting allll u and he would need

And so much more

Im talking chocolate bars

Shipped cream

Candy canes

Busicuits

Edible glitter

Gum drops

Shrek 1 2 3 4

Is there a four

Im too lazy to google it

And omg u so special to him he loves u so much

Screw u

He wants to share the love with the carats

So he vlives it all

And at first ur shy

Like what if the joshua stans come 4 u

Ok but in this story yall had already annouce ur relationship

AND EVERYONE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO BE COOL WITH IT FFS LET UR FAVES DATE WHOEVER THEY WANT ISTG

so

Joshua is like "noo don be shy they'll all love u"

(':

N ur like ok cos i love u sm

But not like the company sm tho *barfing noises*

So yall build a gingerbread house and do a whole ass tutorial about it

Except u dont

Cause yal are morons and could stop messing up or earing the ingredients along the way

Sorry honey ur morons i dont make the rules

"Stop eating the marshmallows!"

"U literally finished the bowl of mnms tho Joshua!"

"Uh no that was the gingerbread man,"

ANd then u all bicker like children because u are omfl

And it excalates

fooD FIGHT

U smear cream on joshuas face

He sprinkles sprinkles on ur head

U press graham crackers against either of his cheeks and ask him what he is

"A sexy graham sandwich"

"Ew no wrong answer," u reply

Can i just point out that that chocolate syrup stain is never coming off

*cough cough cough moron cough cough*

Jun

Imma bout to yeet

Junhui is also feeling nostalic

super soft super baby

And since he's probably feeling bit homesick somewhere in there

he thinks he can remedy it with a bit of chinese home cooking!!!

And whiney needy cuddles also yay

Moving on so

Will it be good?

Damn straight

itll be fikin delish

Will you try to to help him

Of course u gotta help ur man

But like duh

u have eyes

And seeing him all focus and busy and hot

Is really distracting

So like ur as useful as a broken button to him

He doesnt mind tho

He thinks ur cute

Also lovng the attnstion

But the thing about not helping

Not really

And being distracted by a cutie pie

Is that it's basicaly a disaster ending to happen so like

he's efficiently stirring up so hot stuff right

And ur like "man jun's some hot stuff"

And then BaaaaM

U knock over the damn chopping board with the knife and everything on it

Thank goodness the thing didn't chop through your foot of anything

And jun is like "oHMYGOSH DA HELL R U OK"

"... i- im sorry i knocked over ur potatoes"

"My poTaToeS! Listen rn im glad u didnt chop ur foot off"

Jun sighs and looks at the cubes of taters scattered on the floor

You frown, feeling useless

Both of u pick up ur mess

Jun puts down the kitchen utensils in hand

u picked up the last of the potatoes

"Hey we could always wash those, it's not like the floor is mud or anything, even then , potates came from mud"

"Yeah but im sorry, i wanst really helping in the first place"

Jun smirks, "nonsense! U were feeding my ego! That's enough for me!"

You snort and jun comforts u with a tight embrace

Hoshi

AlrighT fam

I thought of something pretty cute but pretty dumb for hoshi

He's like "imma do something super romantic for Christmas"

So he's like "wear something cute we gon do smth fun" @ u

So u do

U get a cute little red dress just for the occasion

And soonyoung his like "BRO MY GIRL SO SUPER CUTE"

And ur like a blushing mess cause he looks super excited with his big smile and cresent eyss

ahhh Hhh myHOSishiii fealzssmsmmsms

Anyway u think ur gonna go to some cute restaurant right

But hoshi brings u to the mall

To instead join the couples dancing contest

Soonyoung gets super nervouse at ur surprised reaction

He's like, "omg is this a super bad idea i thought it would be cute but like i guess not we dont have to go we could always just drop out"

You laugh and shake ur head, "no it's all good, but i mean like, we don't have a choregraphy, and im not like you who can just break it down."

Soonyoung lets out a breath and chuckles, "nah don't worry. It's not really a compation-competion, and regardless, they're going to show ius a choreo and the couple that best interprets wins a a romantic date for two, fit for a dancing king and queen"

And then u break into a big uwu

"Omg u are super romantic soonyoung"

He struts a pose and chuckles, "i mean, i try"

So you both participate in the contenst

Kinda zumba it out by folling the instructors

Soonyoung is helping you out with your form and explaining to you the steps

He gets a little competative so he doesn't really want to mess us

Up hearing you giggle when you do a s pin breaks his competative spirit

And all he really cares about is having a good time with you

Aleight

But admitedly

He was pretty annoyed when they annouced the winner

Were not the two off you

i mean you lot were the cutest it can gt

Who else could trump that

But then you both saw that the winners were 80 something yesr olds holding hand and looking at each other like the other was their world

and then soonyoung was like "okay valid"

You pout, "aww i hope we end up like that"

Soonyound and you turn to each other

He grins for ear to ear, "then lets go on a romantic date as well"

"I thought you'd never ask"

Wonwoo

LiNda

I hope you're ready for wonwoo 

Because i sure as hell am not 

So in case youre wondering 

Youre crazy I mean youre reading this arent you 

Prolly at midnight hi fam 

Again i dont make the rules 

Well just a btw Almost every 

Christmas tradition is pagan 

Like the tree 

The wreath 

And SANTA IS SO CREEPY YALL NEED TO GET UR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM 

SO MAYbe ur not all that crazy 

For not wanting to continue them on 

i mean sure u can give new meaning to things 

But you wanted none of that

 Which was whyyyy you decided to DIY the decorations to your entire house 

Nnd who else are you going to do that with other than your loving bb boyfriend wonwoo 

Wonwoo doesn't mind 

He thinks its cute 

Because it is a cute date idea 

Youtube tutorials 

Pinterest ideas and paper snowflakes and all 

Yeah 

so wonwoo is there cutting up some of the paper you folded 

You're glueing some popsicle sticks 

He's water coloring some designs in 

Youre pulling on the tape dispenser 

It's all going great 

"Jagiya... i don't want to sound mean but-"

 "They're all ugly as hell. I know Wonwoo." 

Wonwoo gives an apologetic look. 

For a moment u two dont speak 

And then you both brust into laughter 

"Aww whatever, lez stick em on!" 

And do you get your badly painted slowflakes 

Your wolf drawing 

"That's a wolf?" 

"Duh what else would it be wonwoo?" 

The letters that spelled merry chrsitmas 

And the doodle cutouts of the seventeen members 

in personalized ugly sweaters 

And placed them all over the place 

You look around basking in the glory of ur craft 

Its all very colorful 

And crafty 

And looking like a child made it 

Then like an imbecile 

U break into laughter 

"It looks like a kindergartener's classroom" 

U end up roasting yourself 

Making fun of your sloppy handwork 

And wonwoo watches u 

with adoring eyes

 "I almost forgot," wonwoo speaks up and pulls out a piece of paper 

You recive it from him and break into a smile 

"Is this us?" 

Wonwoo snorts, "no its jeonghan hyung in a dress holding my hand sweetheart"

For a moment u believe him

But then he breaks out into laughter

Woozi

Boi imma fite u

Christmas carols

Okay idek why i ended up so serious with wonwoo

But listennup

Im not about to maypke it crackier

so back to christmas carols

Dis boi is about to serande you with a christmas themed love song

So its around 8pm at night

Jihoon has is guitar

and ur just chilling right

and ur on ur phone letting him do his thing

but then from the floor he was sat on

he turns to you on the couch

And pats ur leg

"Yo i just finished my song u wann hesr"

You squeak and jump of the couch next to him

"Duh dummy!"

And he starts singing

He's talking about stars and warmth

He's spittin fire about the smell of hot choco

The  he's talking sbout how lame joshua's gingerbread house was

Next thing you know ur  crying

because omg that ginger bread houseWAS UGLY

also jihoooooooooooooon just serenaded you

Dont u just

Then jihoon catches you and panicks

"You okay? Why are you cryin?!"

"HowDARS YOU ASK ME THAT LISTEN UP U JUST SAID SOME SWEET WORDS TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!"

JIHOON CALms down

But u crybaby cant stop crying

and of course jihoon panicks again

So he starts singing some other Christmas song

And then u start crying about poor rudolf

And remember regina george

But then eventually you calm down

And decide to nuzzle up against jihoon who replaced his guitar with you in his arms

Then us fall asleep with him sweetly singing about the spirit of Christmas

DK

 Liz gittit

Of course this ray of light just wants to give off energy to the world 

And since he 

And u u forgetful ass 

Forgot to go shopping for presents 

You decided to go on a dec 24th shopping trip! 

Hurrah! 

But it was too eady for u two 

Like wtf 

Gift giving Is suuch and easy task 

And shoping a day before Christmas 

pshhhhhhh 

Its a heartbeat

 "Whoever gets the best gifts gets for the best price gets to boss the other around until new year," seokmin grins 

You knit your brows deeply at his words 

And wonder what the hell he has in plan for him to think of doing something so ensnaring 

So being the smarter one in the relationship 

"Uh no??" 

Seokmin was like "ok then the other has to do whatever the other says for the entirety of Christmas" 

"???? Whyyyyy?" 

"Because its not challengeing or fun if there isn't any condition" "Ugh fine" 

So the two of you zip around looking for the best gifts you could get 

You try to stay away from the people doing their last minute shopping 

Seokmin doesnt dare go in between an old lady mouthing of another customer 

Tbh its super stressful 

wtf 

what kind of date is this 

Only morons would do this wtf 

Both of you got shoved constantly 

There wasnt really much space to move around 

And there wasnt really anything to choose from 

But hey guess what 

Seokmin found some really cool gifts 

"Daheck did u get that shirt?" 

"Isle five. There were a bunch of people grabbing some stuff and this fell to the ground and so i picked it up and thought it was pretty cool"

You on the other hand got like ok gifts 

I mean theyre not bad

 But da hell did dk get a frikin eeyore onesie idek 

It was no contest.  

Seokmin defo won 

"Yisss so i win therefor u have to make me some Christmas cookies tomorrow" 

"U ho did u really just make me suffer through that so you could ask me to make cookies 4 u???" 

"Yes but we really didn have gifts tho." 

U roll ur eyes 

Seokmin's face falls, "r... r u like mad @ me?" 

"Uhhhhhhhhhh" 

You knit your brows at him but release a smile when u see his nervous look 

"No babo. Im jusy tired, lezgo back home" 

He sighs and nods, kissing your cheeks 

"Dont worry baby, ill carry all of this back home" 

Which he does 

And when u get back 

He says he forgot something in the car

then comes bzck 

And then forcefully turns u around 

Ur about to protest

But the you realize he's putting on a silver necklace on u 

"Yahhhh seokminie, u shouldnt have. Where you even get this"

"I bought it a while back, duh" he chuckles then kisses you on the cheek 

"Merry christmas jagi" 

Mingyu  

You are a genius for getting boyfriend like mingyu 

uh and super lucky like fu-- 

BUT TODAY 

Ur extra glad that mingyu is 10ft tall 

Because ur going to be decorating your very own tree 

Wow 

You bought he prettiest glass ornamnets

 and the sparkliest streamers 

"I have a vision," u explain 

Mingyu nods in understanding 

U and him lift the tree into the living room 

And then u start decorating the tree from the bottom up 

Its all rly chill

 You lot are chatting about whatever 

He's tellling you about ur tour n stuff 

U put on some Christmas tunes for flare 

And then u stand up from the floor and boogey with each other 

Yall shake ur butts 

and go around the tree wrapping it in tinself 

Mingyu steals one of the ornaments from u

 and u try to take it back from him like the genius u are 

Except hes holding it over his head 

N u cant for the life of u reach his hand up there 

So u step on his foot 

And punch his stomach 

And he bends down in reaction 

In pain

Soz

He was asking for it

U steal the decor back 

Then he proceeds to chase u around because aparently ur the bully 

*instert pikachu meme here* 

N then u get back towork 

Or i mean take a break 

And u eat a bunch of holiday special junk 

And then u get back to work 

"ok nows for the star" 

U hand him the star because its the entire point of his existance

getting that star up ther 

with his longass arms 

He turns to u "u dont wanna put it" 

BOI 

u suck in a breath 

"I cant frIKICN REACH IT U LIL" 

He give a face, "there are ways" 

"My go-- just put the AHHHHHHH"

AND THEN THE NEXT THING U KNOW

 Hes crouching down pulling ur legs on his shoulders 

"MINGYU PUT ME DOWN" you say, about to rip of his face 

Mostly because u have nothi to hold onto

but he stands 

with u on his shoulders

and walks to the tree 

"Put the damn thing on before u fall!!" 

Wow its ur fault again

And screaming u put the star on 

And mingyu putz u down 

"Okay that was stressful" 

U punch him in the gut again 

The8  

Minghao is super tired 

But super looking forward to spending time with u 

So u defintely go on a date 

But its of the lazy movie watch variety

Im talking all the chesey romance movies 

Set in december 

that has like mistletoe kisses 

And snow scenes 

And also those holiday specials

 For catroons 

And non cartoons 

Even the one with arnold swartzimacallit 

You pull out the laptop 

And get on netflix 

There's popcorn on 

And hot tea 

Or whatever the hell 

Its all just very warm 

and u and minghao are wrapped together in a warm blanket 

Ur nestled in between is legs and ur super warm and cozy and im so soft bleh 

"Oh oh, u should see this part, its my fav--" 

But u stop uourself when u turn and see minghao fell asleep

 U coo and let him obvi 

taking unflattering pictures duh 

But also cute ones because 

#couplegoals 

He doesn't sleep through all the movies though 

You end up watching non christmas themed films too 

Like toy story4 

OKAY I CRIED AT THE ENDING 

PIXAR IS REALLY COMING FOR MY WIG 

"You look really cute cuddled up against me" he'll randomly blurt 

U feel ur cheeks brun at that 

but no he cant have that 

"I thought i was always cute" 

He chuckles and groans as he hugs u tightly 

U laugh at his reaction 

"Of course you're always cute" 

"Ok but the teddy bear u got me is actually cuter" 

"Nononono, the teddy is cute but uuu are cuter" 

"Were u always this gross?" 

Seungkwan 

Okay 

before u tell me these are getting worse and worse every passing member 

i would first like to say i know 

and  that seungkwan bought u a cute dress for Christmas 

and took u to a fancy restaurant 

Ok ur welcome 

But like even if it werent fancy 

U'd still like it 

cause holy guacamole 

imagine holding seungkwans hand as u walk around

Jsut being so head over heels

and super in love with the cutie

Groooossss 

LinDA 

The feeling is mutual for him when he's around u 

so he stops mid conversations 

just to take ur pic 

Its kinda annoyig 

but kinda cute 

"Hey unknow hansol told me about-- what are u doing"

 "No go on, im just talking ur picture"

 Literally the bst hype man alive 

Will make take dozen upon dozen photos of u 

And will make u pose for aethetics 

He will go on making sure everyone knows u da hottest ho in the place 

n ur like "seungkwan stfu u embarrassssing meee" 

And then oml  

Some moron tries to hit on u 

and seungkwan sqwares up ready to hit a fool 

would he actually do it i mean 

Like 

prolly Not 

but then again he looked really mad 

So u calm him down 

and u go bzck home 

And the cuddles 

"Baby girl im sorry if i embarrassed u"

 "Nah itz chill i mean i know u have good intentions"

U smile and he takes another candid phto of u

"Broooooo!!"

 "Im donnnr. Now hows about we get rid of that dress" 

Vernon  

okay im willing to guess hansol loves drinking hot chocolate in the winter

So he's like 

"Lets do a hot choco review" 

And buys 897 types of hot choco 

Or like ten 

wtf eight hundres pluss is too much 

So ur like okay i like hot choco 

and then he pulls out his phone and does a vlive 

"No i am not jealous of joshua hyungs vlive with his gf" 

Yall make like ten cups of hot choco 

and is chaotic 

Idek how u could get injured 

But hey 

It wasnt even the hot water invovled 

but the wrapping of the choco powder 

"Technical difficulties hansol is a big moron" 

U get him a bandaid

"Ya! I am not" 

Yall start reviewing anyway 

*insert try guys eugenes voice* 

Im rihght

 Ur wong 

Shut up 

After trying the first onw 

Ur like wow dis is good 

the second was even better 

The third one u hold

then u realized there were eight more cups 

And that u made so

much 

so u were like "omf there is too much "

then u debated whether or not calling seventeen to drink the rest 

But then hansol was like "ther isnt enough for themm"

Then ur like 

"okay whatabout making a super hotchoco" 

n vernon was like 

???? 

"THATS THE BEST IDEA UVE EVVER HAD" 

SO YALL GET A BIGASS POT 

MIX THE REST IN 

REALIZE U HAVENT RATED THE other cups

 Shrug it off 

and get a cup of the hot choco mix 

"Tastes like corn" 

"Bish dafaq" 

Dino 

Yikes 

so 

Chan is a dumb ho 

and got himself sick at Christmas so 

nononoono thats a no to any cute date ideas 

and its just you and him staying at home 

U personally dont mind 

but hes like "awww but i had so many ideas"

 but obvi U cant risk him getting any sicker than he already is 

So you stay home and take care of him 

and all he can do is complain about everything 

about the cold 

his runny nose 

The lack of taste of the food

 His head ache 

The fact his bed is hot 

And that fact that u have to take care of him 

And treat him like a baby 

"I am not a baby" 

"Listen up, u are always gonna be my baby" 

"Not u toooooo najsjsjjs" 

You make him some hot cocoa 

And hes like "im not drinking that if u call me baby again" 

"Babybabybabybabybaby" 

Ugghgg "If you keep doing that im not going to give u the gift i gotchu" 

"Well das on u" 

And then u end up going ona glaring contest 

Chan ends up giving it to u anyway 

"i hope u choke on it" he grumbles with insencerity 

U coo when u see that its a handwritten letter 

And then u end up crying because hes super soft

N ur super soft

And gahhh u love him so much

 Chan pats ur back because he doesnt want to get u sick if he hugs u  

U sniffle and wipe ur eyes 

"Who's the baby now, cry baby" 

You snarl and pinch his side 

And now i say

This was probably hecking bzd but i hope u enjoyed 

merry CHRISTMAS 

ITS MY FABORITE HOLiDAY 

TAKE CARE Of urselves mwaah

Support me on ko-fi

[iluvmyogblog]

Roommates, Routines and Best Friends

A/N: So to be completely honest with you guys, i have written several versions of this part and am still so conflicted. I hope this comes out great, and i hope u guys love it n fall apart n ALLLL that good stuff. btw doesnt sebby look like a fuckinggggggg dream.........

Summary: (AU) being roommates with the infamous womanizer Bucky Barnes is tough, especially when all he does is bring home different girls every night and complain about you and your choice of men. masterlist.

Words: 2768

Warning(s): language, always!!!

Roommates, Routines and Best Friends : Today A Month Ago

Today marks exactly a month since you met Steve. A month since that stupidly amazing party Bucky dragged you to. You and Steve decided to be cheesy and celebrate today. Bucky protested, saying that it was so annoying when new couples did that. But you and Steve weren’t a couple. Not yet. It’s only been a month! You’re not one to jump into a relationship so quickly, especially after the whole Sam thing. You were still a little scared to put yourself out there. You would always have long talks about that with Bucky. Always. And he’d always know exactly what to say. Always.

You were walking to the kitchen when you see Bucky also walking out of his room. You flash him a quick smile. That smile was enough to make Bucky’s heart jump out of his chest. “Good morning, doll.”

“Good morning, Buck,” you nearly whispered. You were so tired. Your energy was drained from you, your hair was a mess and you had bags under your eyes. You were excited about seeing Steve today but the part of you that wants to climb back into bed hopes that he gets busy all of a sudden. 

“Woah, don’t you look dapper this morning,” Bucky chuckles and pours you a glass of orange juice as he watches you slump into a chair. You don’t say anything, you just put your head down and groan. Bucky sighs softly and walks over to you, sliding the orange juice into your hand. The tip of his fingers brush against the palm of your hand. You feel him start to ruffle your hair, tangling it even more. You groan again, ignoring how good it felt. 

Bucky continues to look at you. He continues to play with your hair. He starts to imagine what it would be like if you two were more than friends. If you two were more than just roommates. If you two shared the same bed. “Hey Buck, can you carry me to my bed. I’m too tired to be awake right now, I don’t even know why I got up,” you mumble. Bucky nods and you feel his arms swoop you up. You wrap your arms around his neck, resting your head on his chest as he carries you back to your room. You soon feel yourself being put down on fluffy comforters that smell like Bucky. 

“My bed is more comfortable than yours,” you hear Bucky whisper as he tucked you in. He wasn’t wrong. His sheets were always washed and switched out- because of you know, his special lady guests. You nod and snuggle deeper into the sheets, grabbing a pillow and snuggling up to that as well. You open one eye and watch Bucky walk across his room and close the curtains. You smiled softly at that notion. Before you two began to even stand each other, you had always complained about how dark his room was. ‘And for crying out loud, open your curtains. Don’t be so depressing all the damn time, Bucky.’ you would say. 

“Hey, (y/n). Can I ask you something,” Bucky questioned. Sitting up, you watch the dark haired man look at you shyly. You knit your eyebrows in concern, partly confused as well. He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth and slowly sits at the edge of his bed. To the both of you, it felt like the room was closing in. You weren’t sure what it could be nor were you sure how you would answer the question. 

“Of course, Buck,” you gently say as you rest your hand on his shoulder.

“What did you mean by what you said a while back? About the party? And me going with you... like on a date? What did you mean?”

The redness on your cheeks start to show, your stomach tangling in knots. You should’ve seen this coming. You should’ve known he’d bring it up. You just shouldn’t have said anything. You gulp and look at your hands. “I just- I.. I don’t know Bucky. For some strange reason I just thought for a second that you had asked me out on a date. You know? I mean I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, I’m not confessing any feelings... cause there’s none. I just thought it was a date. You know how weird I get when guys ask me to hang out with them.”

“But it’s us, doll. What’s there to be weird about? You know I wouldn’t be grossed out or anything.. I mean, maybe a little,” he teased, brightening the mood. He sees how tense your shoulders are. He needed to lighten the mood. He just put you on the spot. You weren’t used to that. The remark worked, and you laughed. Relaxing yourself a bit more.

“You’re the worst, James.” He chuckles and playfully nudges you. You nudge him back, which just causes him to just push you a little harder. The two of you were laughing, honestly kind of forgetting how thick the air was a few seconds ago. You let yourself fall back onto his sheets, staring up at the ceiling as you cross your hands on your stomach. Bucky shifts and props himself up on his elbow, looking at you. You tug on your bottom lip, thinking about the party again. You hated that you read signs wrong. You weren’t too dapper about social cues. “So, quick question. Did you take that blonde chick home?”

He stays quiet for a few seconds, staring at you. Watching your smirk disappear once you notice he’s been quiet for far too long. He watches you turn your head to him, eyes meeting his. He shakes his head, “no. Honestly, I just said I got laid. I don’t know why. I lied to you.”

You prop yourself up on your elbows and watch him. His brown hair a beautiful mess on top of his head. His stupid eyes burning holes through you with that dumb twinkle he always has in them. His perfectly sculpted arms that complimented every shirt he wore. “Why,” you whisper, completely confused. You truthfully didn’t know that he was even capable of lying to you. He also thought you’d see right through him when he lied. And honestly, you would’ve if it hadn’t been for Steve. Steve, the charming guy you met at the party. Steve who left his friends to drink a glass of champagne with you. 

“Do you know what happened? When I left to get you a drink?” You shake your head and wait for him to continue. He breaks eye contact and looks at his hands. He starts to fiddle with them. He did that when he was nervous. You would always grab his hands when he did that, just in case he needed comfort. Which he always did. He was a baby, in a way. He loved affection. Probably why he couldn’t sleep more than three nights alone. “As soon as I left your side, I got a text from a friend. Well, from Steve.” Pause. Looks up at you, then quickly back to his hands. “Steve says, ‘tell me she said yes’. Steve was the one who persuaded me to ask a certain girl out.”

“Wait, who?” Your heart was racing. You began to think that he actually did ask you out. And you had totally ditched him for Steve.

“Um, I- I never told you about her. But I worked with her. She’s really badass, you know? Plus she’s really really h-”

“I get the picture.”

Bucky nods, “right. Well she said she was busy. So obviously that’s a no. I wasn’t gonna go. But Mr. Stark insisted that I do.”

He pauses and watches you. You were trying to piece the puzzle together while staring at your feet.  “So.. I was a back up plan?” You tried to hide the obvious sting with a slight nudge and a smirk. Bucky saw right through that.

“No, doll. Don’t say that. I had a good time,” he says. You nod, feeling his fingers tug the hemline of your shirt. “I text Steve back. Told him I was at the party with someone better, cooler. And prettier, way prettier.” You laugh and shake your head, ignoring his attempts to win you back. “And Steve wanted to meet up. He was with a friend also. His friend was meeting up with his girlfriend and Steve wanted to drink a beer with me. He didn’t wanna be alone, you know? But I told him I was here with someone. He said alright, went on his own, I went to get you that drink you wanted. Then that girl-”

“The blonde bimbo that was basically undressing you with her eye-”

“She had a boyfriend, (y/n). He was standing right next to her. They wanted to know what drink I ordered. Said it looked fancy,” Bucky interrupts. You felt dumb. You felt embarrassed. Shocked.

You let out a breathless laugh, staring at the ceiling now. “It’s the cherries and olives. Always pick the right garnishes,” you whisper. 

“Then I saw you with Steve..,” he trails off, causing you to look at him. “You looked good. Standing next to him. Like you two were made for each other. Then you laughed, and I swear, I knew right there... I knew that it wasn’t a date.”

“Bucky, what are you trying to say?”

You’re now sitting up, staring straight into his eyes. Heart pounding out of his chest. The truth was that when you walked out of your room wearing nice jeans and a really complimenting blouse, with your hair falling perfectly down your back and your eyelashes coated with the perfect amount of mascara- he knew that he was glad that he got rejected that night. The way the dim lights brightened your smile, and the way a champagne glass looked in your hand. It was driving him crazy. The fact that he walked into a party like that with you by his side made everything that much better. He didn’t expect Steve to be there. He didn’t care. That was until he saw the look in your eyes when they’d meet Steve’s blue ones. “I’m trying to say that... it was the best unintentional date I have ever had. Even if it was just for a few minutes,” he says, adding a faint smile at the end. He knew you were happy. He knew this would make you feel bad, but he had to just clear the air. You suck in a quick dose of air, blinking away those stupid butterflies and smile lightly, nodding. “Can I ask you another question?”

“Sure, Bucky.” 

“If you thought it was a date, you said yes. Why?”

Now it was your turn to get flustered. You felt your palms start to sweat. You shrugged. “I don’t know, Buck. It’s you. For a second, I saw you as the Bucky who brings home girls at two in the morning,” you nervously laugh. You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know what Bucky wanted to hear. You didn’t want to say the wrong things.

“Oh, okay. Makes sense.” He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. You don’t either. “You wanted to come home with me?” he asks. You can hear his words drenched in that smirk of his.

“Oh my god, Bucky.”

“Kidding. In the end, you come home to me anyways.”

You felt those dumb butterflies. You changed the subject to the first thing that pops into your head. “By the way, who was the girl that rejected you?”

His cheeks turn red and he laughs, looking down. “Really, doll? We’re gonna talk about this?”

“Well of course. I gotta know who turned down your charm!”

He groans and throws himself back onto his bed, covering his face with his hands. He lets out a huff and slides his hands down his face. “ Way to change the subject,” he sighs, “she’s Starks’ Secretary, or maybe she got promoted? Not sure anymore. Her names Natalia- Natasha, actually. That’s what everyone calls her.”

“Natasha?”

He nods. “Yeah, she has this crazy, re-”

“Red hair.”

Bucky nods again and looks at you. “Yeah! You know her?”

You stare blankly ahead of you and smile, nodding. You chuckle softly, shaking your head now. “Yeah,” you croak, “I mean, kind of?”

Bucky whispers your name, breaking you out of whatever trance you were in. He’s sitting right next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder with a look of sympathy. A look of hurt equaled to yours. “She’s the one?” 

You nod again. “She’s always the one, Buck.”

“You never told me her name. (Y/n), there’s nothing going on betwe-”

“Bucky, it’s completely okay if you like her. I truly don’t mind- that’s, if you like her that’s okay.”

He repeats your name, stopping you from rambling on. “Shut up, doll. I’m not interested.. anymore. Like at all.” You smile and look up at him, scanning his face. Of course Bucky would like her. Of course she’d catch his attention. She catches everyone’s attention. “Hey, Sam’s an asshole. Don’t think about him. You’re going out with Steve. Steve’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. I promise. He won’t hurt you, doll. Especially not on my watch.”

“You always know what to say, James. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he gives you that stupid look again. The one where it looks like his chest is hurting, like his heart is crying. Like he regrets something, misses, longs for something. But you don’t know what. “Go get ready. You got that cheesy date with Steve. Remember? Or did laying in my bed make you wanna stay here forever?”

“Bucky, shut up,” you playfully push him as you get off his bed. You had honestly completely forgot about the date with Steve. It felt like a hundred hours that you were there with Bucky, which it was only two. You threw a pillow that was on the floor at him and he catches it, of course. He had quick reflexes. Too quick. Nothing went past him. And you liked that.

“Tell your boyfriend to text me back. He left me on read,” Bucky shouts as you walk out his door, “bestest best friend ever,” he mumbles. You giggle and take a mental note. ‘Tell Steve to text his boyfriend’.

Bucky got up and shut his door. Like he always is before you go out with Steve, Bucky was sad. He was bummed again. If he had just been upfront and asked you out on a real date, or if he had went up to you and Steve instead of darting out of there as soon as possible. He started to think about the party again. He started thinking about what you had told him before you even knew Steve existed.

“Okay. I’ll set it up right now, doll. Any guy you want, you’ll get.”

“You want me to choose?”

“That’s exactly what I want you to do.”

“And you’ll get them to come talk to me?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Bucky, I don’t wanna play.”

“Oh, come on. Look at that guy. He has a beard. You like beards.”

“Too long. Plus, I don’t even know him. Besides, you have a beard too.”

“How about my ex boss?”

“Tony? He’s married!”

“Him?”

“No.” This went on for a few minutes. You crossing off guys, making faces every time Bucky would point someone out.

“What ab-”

“No, I’m absolutely a hundred and ten percent serious, Bucky. Out of every one in this expensive ass house party, I’d still choose to go home with you.”

“Like you have a choice,” he chuckles, leaning in to you as he tries to speak over all the other conversations. 

“Choice or not, I’d still go home with you, James.” Your words made him weak. They made him weaker than he’s ever been. His legs felt like jello when he saw the look in your eyes. It wasn’t alcohol, he hadn’t got you a drink yet. It was happiness. True happiness. Him making you get this look. He wanted to kiss you right there. He really did. But like he always does, he got scared. He got scared, so instead of kissing you, he asked if you wanted a drink.

A stupid drink. ‘What the hell was wrong with me’ Bucky thought to himself. He knew that if it wasn’t Steve, he would be fighting for you. He would be wrapping his arms around you right now, making you want to stay in bed with him. But it’s Steve. And Steve always gets what he wants.

•••

again, if i 4got tags, lmk ❗️❗️

this was a tough 1, it gets better I PROMISE. but aside from that, i wanted to know if you guys would be interested in like.... writing a chapter?? like any kind of chapter you guys want. I JUST REALLY WANNA SEE WHAT KIND OF DIRECTION YOU GUYS WANNA TAKE IT IN!!!!

so we kind of got a sense as to what happened with Sammy boy... hmm.. ❗️

tags : @coal000 @goldenstateof@cherrywinedarling@justahappylilblog@faakelanadelrey@juicyqueenlme @ourdreamsrealized@boyzines@bornfortherainydays @fightmeandmy100fandoms@deadpoolgirl23@bethanyv10 @ilovethings-somuch @spidey-linquentimagines@lilypalmer1987 @gravity-9-8@vivianbabz@imeannooffensebabybut @queendade  @irepeldirt@petals-overdaisies @warishaadnan @sweetmockingbird@loki7ms@chickennacho1 @dakotacheyennee@starkxpotts@sighscassidyy @jellzu @krockszz@lowkeysebbychuckennuggets1213 @wowbarnes @eccentric-impulsesdugan365 @frackinawesomeninja @cosmetologynerd@straight–on-til-morning @sophiealiice @barnes-and-noble-girl@satans-knitting-club @grosskyjaja @xunicornwhovianx@evetheplum@cravingmustard @raventt5-bb @dedicated-fangirl-forever@sarahp879 @fandomlover03 @bands-and-shietz@wintersoldierbarnes @keepyoureyesopenwide @i-am-moody-yes-i-am @fandoms-will-collide @xcyber-queenx​ @ly--canthrope​ @kimskew​ @mala-firebringer​ @crazyjam-pot

[thedesperatehousehusband]

The People in our Italian Neighborhood

Hello, Hello, Hello! Or should I say Buon Giorno! Yes, that’s what I’ll say. It’s been several weeks since my last post because we have been on holiday in Italia. It was simply amazing. We saw an amazing amount of art and drank a considerable amount of beer, wine, coffee plus food, glorious, food! I’ll post on the food later but today is about some of the characters we encountered. We always see people who leave a mark and become permanent fixtures on our vacation. Some of these characters stay around for a long, long time. We named a flight attendant on our flight to Hawaii. Her name was Tiki Huti and that is a name that still exists in our repertoire today. That trip was in 2006. So when we come up with good ones, they stay with us.

These are the people in our Italian neighborhood:

1.       Alabama Shakes (This one is admittedly very, very mean so bear that in mind): There was a couple sitting across the aisle from the us on the plane to Rome. The man was about 100 and the woman was about 95. The poor man was shaking so much that he couldn’t open his silverware packet, his butter, his salad, his creamer. His wife offered no assistance. How on earth is this is feeble couple going to get around Europe? Europe is not for the addled or those lacking the ability to walk. The streets are all cobblestone and uneven. Elevators are not prevalent. Escalators are few and far between. This is why we’re doing this shit now because when I’m super old, I won’t be able to walk up 467 stairs (yes, that is an exact number) to the top of the cupola within the Duomo at Santa Maria dei Fiori.

2.       Rock Moves: This was another couple on the plane. They were a hot steaming mess. She had a half-shaved head and a half-pink Mohawk. He had a mullet. They were in all black from head to toe. He had a flashlight hooked to his pants. It felt like they were under the impression that there was going to be a concert on the plane and that they were part of the crew. Maybe KISS was performing in Italy somewhere. Maybe KISS is still a thing in Italy.

3.       High & Tight: For several nights, we stayed at an amazing Westin in Florence. It was top notch and overrun with Americans. One of whom was an old hag who had had a TON of work done but was keeping it high and tight in her Lululemon outfits and her morning workouts. She came to the breakfast in her workout wear in a full face. Maybe she was looking for a rich man to sweep her off her feet. Who knows? Who cares?

4.       Italo Hipsters: This is a broad group but there are SO.MANY.HIPSTERS in Italy. The beards. The tats. The sneakers. The skinny jeans. The cigarettes, my god, the cigarettes. Italy remains a smoke ‘em if you got ‘em country. You enjoy a coffee on the outdoor patio and enjoy a cigarette while you sit on a deck at a café.

5.       Beta Carotene: This one is very special. A week ago Sunday we were in Florence and we happened upon the Piazza Santo Spirito. It’s a hopping plaza with a million cafes and bars and restaurants. We went for apperitivo, which is essentially happy hour but with more substantial food, at a placed called Volume. Every place sets up there apperitivo differently. At this one they had it set up on the bar. And this woman, who didn’t look or seem COMPLETELY nuts just partially, sat at the bar in front of the buffet. But she didn’t eat anything but carrots. She sucked down all the carrots. I was hoping she’d ask for more but she didn’t.

6.       Il Fiasco della Essenziale: We went to a restaurant while in Florence called Essenziale. There was a couple that was very noticeably American. He had quite the gut, which is a very much a telltale sign. She had on leather pants that were two sizes too small. The sausage was bursting from the casing. She had on a lace top. I don’t understand lace tops. She was very clearly tipsy. They stayed way longer than the staff wanted. They were a hot steaming strip mall loving American hot mess.

7.       12 Gals from Austria: We encountered a gaggle of slightly older gals at a bar. They were all of a certain age and draped in their country’s version of Chico’s. They were totally fun and having a good time. They ordered wine and prosecco. Then they got rowdy for a certain song. And that song was “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head”. They sang all the words. I would have been surprised if they were singing along to Flo Rida. But an old Burt Bacharach song? Not so much.

8.       Rock Star Luisa: I have to give credit to Kelly for this name. She went to law school with someone she called Rock Star Lisa. We saw the Italian equivalent. Just rough and tumble. Looks like she’s got on allll the leopard print that the store had to offer. Never missing a KISS concert. Ever. Maybe she knows Rock Moves.

9.       Brokedown Hag Mountain: The train and train stations are very similar to airports. The great equalizer. Where we’re all on level playing ground. At the mercy of the airline or whatever. There’s always a crazy person who looks like he/she couldn’t find the garbage can let alone how to find a train station, get on the right train and get to their destination. There are just want too many people on this planet who are ill equipped for life.

10.   And finally……..La Donna degli Formaggi: We went to an enoteca called Le Volpi e L’Uvo. It came highly recommended. It was a nice wine bar but it wasn’t all that. It didn’t stand out or blow us away. The wine was good. But then we encountered a true character. Which is probably not the reason that people recommended it to us but nonetheless it turned out to be a delightful experience all because of a nutty lady. We sat at the bar and ordered two glasses of wine. There was a woman sitting alone and she was sipping a glass. She then ordered something to eat and it turned out to be a cheese plate. The plate seemed to include a pound of cheese and this kooky chick ate that cheese like she had never eaten food before. She was ravenous. The first three cheese varieties were sucked down in about 30 seconds. The fourth cheese is when it got wild. She took the first bite of the first cheese and exclaimed “MAMMA MIA!” It seems too easy and a complete stereotype but if the shoe fits…..then she had another bite and looked up towards the sky and nearly shouted “MADONNA!” And not the pop singer of “Material Girl” fame but the blessed mother. I guess it’s no different than being at a restaurant and saying “Oh My God” but there’s still something hilarious about it. She was truly experiencing something in the way of an out of body experience. With cheese. I like cheese but do I like that much?

So that’s that. These are our new favorite friends. They made our trip even more enjoyable because it gave us something to laugh about together. Which is important. It’s important to laugh.

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