#i like not thinking man but now im sfucking tired going too. when im cloxked in i turn all this off and i wish i could always be that way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seithr · 8 months

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unfortunately the allure of "at work i genuinely don't think that much and have no time or capacity to worry about home because i am fully mentally 'at work'" and "at work my family isnt there and i am not reminded of things happening in it by being asked about it by one of them or seeing them" and "at least i make money at work and am there often enough its a good amount and i feel useful lookibg at it" is really startibg to wear thin rifgt now

#i like not thinking i like being so caught in my sorting and doing a good job and helping people i dont feel the coldness settlibg in #i like not havibg sudden run ins i overthink later or being asked What Do You Think Haha in front of people id like to not air laundry to #people who respect me enough to wish well when im just a little bit not all there but dont want My Answer About It or My Assurance #i like not having to consider another job or parrttime searching again and scheduling both them at the same time #i like not thinking man but now im sfucking tired going too. when im cloxked in i turn all this off and i wish i could always be that way #helpful! im happy to help! im glad to. no worries no problem. thoughtful and useful and a joy if a little in need of guidance #the build up to therr. thinking about all of it alone on the way. always the sitting with it. the hours settling in #its wearing thin. something about it is. i think its only me. i wish i worked all the time so i wouldnt wind down back to all of this #everything here and reality going on and all the bad news and every bad memory and experience and incoming ache fffffuuck me man #im fine before anyone (noone) gets conc3rnened im just so tired. im so cold. nothing will come out. do i really need that as proof it hurts

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