#i literally did not readover this so im so very sorry if bits are incomprehensible

[hopefullyababe]

so ive been listening to the penumbra podcast

this is a very long and rambly post so bewarned

i just finished the first season and

ohhhh my heart hurts so badly

juno and peter nureyev are IN LOVE but they CANT BE TOGETHER and it HURTS SO BAD

all while juno was narrating about how much he wanted to go off w peter nureyev i was just waiting for the moment when he said "but i cant" and it was SOUL CRUSHING when he did even though i KNEW he couldnt because his life is on mars man and hes so tied to his city and i just knew he wouldnt be able to leave but GOD it hurt

and hearing peters little "juno-" as he left was devastating

and im so so afraid that peter nureyev doesnt come back because he said he wouldnt come back to mars and

i just already miss him so so much and im so scared he wont come back :(

it feels like all my organs have been removed individually, blended up and poured back into my body

anyway- great show! highly recommend. :)

but its not all bad emotions- not at all

i love all the characters so much and juno steel is just so coooolllll

but even though he is Very Cool i can kinda tell under that hes just a little bit of a loser (i still love him though)

ive always loved detective stories and cop shows and stuff like that so i just love him so much

and hes always got a one liner for every situation and hes just so so sassy and i love him

have i mentioned i love him

and its just the COOLEST THING that he LIVES ON MARS

like!!!!! hes just out there!!!!!! in space!!!!

and i could listen to him talk about his city for hours man

when he talks about it i can feel everything ukno? its a little bit rough around the edges but it feels like home when he talks about it

like i can see the red sand and the floating mansions and feel the heat and the air and the culture and the way he talks about it id wanna protect it too ukno?

thats really cheezy now im writing it down but GOSH its the emotion i feel

and peter nureyev is also Very Cool but a little more fluid about it

like with juno it feels like his charisma is learned but with peter nureyev it feels like he was born with it

it seems like itd be very difficult to feel so authentic while living several different lies at once but MAN this dude pulls it off

and in my head hes got a bit of that wacky cecil palmer fashion but quite a bit more understated

it doesnt make sense with his job but it just makes me happy

my favorite story so far was the train from nowhere

its sooooooo cooooolllllll >^<!!

i just loved all the high stakes jumping around they did and their chemistry is just *CHEFS KISS* exquisite

my favorite part was the poker game because i just LOVE the way they cut together the lines!!

and the music in the background and the frantic narration had me on the EDGE OF MY NONEXISTANT SEAT(i was in bed :/)

like i could SEE the jazzy montage playing out so clearly

thats something i just LOVE about this show-- that somehow it just makes me SEE THINGS

like so so CLEARLY

like with tma and wtnv i see all the events in my head but i guess with tpp its the first time the aesthetic has really got me ukno?

like esspecially w train from nowhere bc this might not be completely accurate but in my head when they were playing the card game i imagined it was a biiig room with partially glass walls overlooking a bit of a hill where you could see the sun start to set as the game went on to show the passage of time and theyre in the corner

i might end up drawing it because it just appeared in my mind and i thought it was so so coooolll(even though i made it up but ukno self love and all that) but i dont think id do it justice /:(

anyway i love peter nureyev with my entire heart and i will die a slow painful death if he doesnt come back :)

im also really excited to see where they go with the second citadel

that story didnt really grab me the same way juno did (ive never really been one for fantasy or old timey knights and kings and such) but im still very interested to see what happens

i like the two “knights” and sir caroline is just <33333 and the janus beast is very entertaining

so im excited to see where that goes

anyway i really like it so far :) sorry for the longass post i just had alot on my mind after s1 and wanted to put it somewhere. gonna start the second season riiight after this post :))!