#i literally disappeared right after you tagged me so this took so long 😭

[freensrcha]

tag game

rules: post your lock/home screen, the last song you listened to, and the last picture you saved!!

tagged by the lovely sof @ahxu-laowen (in love with your love wallpapers btw. blonde love supremacy)

lock screen is my doggos and i haven’t seen him in 4 months now. second is wife ms. sarocha again. what’s funny is people asked me if that was me (when i look nothing like that) or if that was my girlfriend (i wish).

SNOOZE has changed me as a person. i cannot listen without crying. last pic is random fruit i was eating

[otomes-and-tears]

Hi!!! I hope you're doing well!!! If it's alright with you, do you mind writing a one shot with Nevra's reaction where it turns out that Guardienne had been pregnant with his kid the whole time they were in the crystal? Like either she just found out and went to tell him because she felt it was only right, or he finds out by overhearing her talking to Ewe about being too scared to tell Nev? I saw a post a long while back where someone was like "could you imagine if Erika had been pregnant with Nevra, Ezarel, or Valkyon's kid while they were in the crystal" and my heart just broke 😔. Especially since Nevra and Erika have this whole "I literally feel like I took a nap, wdym u moved on" vs "i slept around to try and move on for the past 7 years but you're alive and now I'm in emotional shambles (but I love you still)" issue 😭

♦ an unsung melody (is mine for safekeeping) ♦

► tags/warnings: pregnancy, past character death.

► words: 1728

► a/n: Anon, I want you to know that the second I got this request, I screenshotted it and sent it to my friends because I was so excited to write about it.

We ended up brainstorming together, so this was particularly fun to write. I’m SO GLAD someone asked me to write smth about it. I just… Have THOUGHTS about this and the concept is so interesting to me I just… I needed to write it.

Before we get started, I do have a couple of disclaimers here:

First, while I did some research about pregnancy I have never been pregnant nor am I a doctor. Keep in mind that this is fanfiction and we’re talking about a half-aengel half-human hybrid who got stuck inside a magical crystal for seven years and didn’t age a day except for her hair getting longer and her vampire partner who kind of looks like Zuko.

So, if you’re looking for realistic representations of anything pregnancy then… You’re in the wrong place, buddy.

Second, This story takes place after the events of chapter 6 of A new era. Episodes 7 and 8 aren't canon in this universe.

And thirdly, this is going to be a multi-parter!

That's all the warnings i have to give out, i believe. I hope you enjoy it!

► Masterlist

I.

Erika’s life has been a mess lately.

That might as well be an understatement of the century. Between fighting murderous dragons to being trapped in a Crystal for seven years, there is a point in time where she started getting desensitized to all the weird things that happened in her life.

She could read familiar’s thoughts? That’s fine.

She was connected to Leiftan and was able to feel his emotions? Weirder things have happened.

The barrier between Earth and Eldarya was disappearing and the two worlds were quickly becoming one? This one was admittedly hard to swallow, but she didn’t find herself too surprised at the notion.

But then again, even with all the chaos, drama and strangeness that she seemed to attract, none of it prepared her for that moment:

‘‘You’re pregnant.’’

Ewelein said, bluntly. Erika was taken aback for a second, trying to process the words that came out of the nurse’s mouth and what it would mean to her.

She felt a weird sort of detachment from the announcement. It’s not like it was something she suspected, nor it was something she even thought possible at all. When she came to the infirmary after the Genkaku mission, all she expected from her obligatory check-up was a remark about how she didn’t come back hurt for once and to be congratulated by the return of her powers. Maybe be chided for not having enough iron in her system. But pregnancy? That was the last thing she ever expected to hear.

‘‘Excuse me, what?’’ Erika stared back at the nurse, eyes widening in horror. ‘‘How is that even possible? I know it’s annoying to mention it at this point, but you are aware that I was in a coma for seven years, right? I’ve only been awake for… What? Two months at this point? I’m not even used to having a body again. I haven’t been sleeping around much.’’

‘‘That’s why I asked for another blood sample. I thought it might’ve been an error, but all results came out positive. You are pregnant.’’

Ewelein held out the exams and mechanically explained how the exam worked. Erika wasn’t able to properly focus on her words, but she had the faint impression that Ewelein was doing it more for herself than for Erika’s sake, anyway.

‘‘There’s no way around it. Haven’t you been feeling symptoms? anything at all?’’

Erika thought about it well.

She hadn’t had her period since she woke up, but like a lot of other weird things she had been feeling lately, Erika chalked it up to being trapped inside of the Crystal for so long.

She didn’t have any use for her legs inside of the crystal, so she had to get used to walking again. She didn’t have to eat, so it took a while before she got used to the feeling of hunger and the sensation of eating.

Her body was in stasis, so when she regained function and started, you know, living again she figured that it would take some time before her reproductive organs started working like normal again. They were not a priority, after all, not when she was under the assumption that she wasn’t carrying a child.

The nausea she started feeling recently? She rationalised it as being the result of seasickness and grief.

After the initial shock and denial at Edgard’s sudden and brutal death, Erika felt as if she had experienced the whole spectre of human emotions in the span of a single, painfully long day.

By the end of the boat journey, she was exhausted. Both physically, due to the strain that the overuse of her powers caused and psychological, due to the emotional rollercoaster she was put through.

A little nausea was to be expected, right?

It only now hit her that she went through quite a couple of fights while carrying a child, was hit and overused her powers. The fact that they were still alive astounded her.

‘‘You haven’t answered my question.’’

‘‘So, when two people like each other very much, they—’’

‘‘I know where babies come from, clearly. I just mean, how is that possible when the last time I’ve been with someone was so long ago?’’

‘‘We did discuss what might’ve happened to your body when you were trapped, didn’t we? I think that your pregnancy confirms that your body was in a state of stasis during the whole time you were there. The second you got out, all the normal functions went back to what they used to be the second you made the sacrifice… But… that’s just a hypothesis. We can’t really erase the possibility of this being--’’

‘‘The Crystal?’’

The thought horrified her.

If having to deal with this being thrown in her face wasn’t bad enough, there was the possibility of it not being the result of a passionate goodbye between lovers, but the result of the Crystal meddling with her life, again.

It seemed strange, even for her already unbelievable circumstances, but considering everything that she went through, she couldn’t exactly discard that theory.

Ewelein, who was bound by duty and still kept herself professional despite the absurdity of the situation, ran through all the options that Erika had at her disposal at the moment.

She was kind and gentle when explaining to Erika what to expect from her pregnancy, and held her hand during the entire explanation, as a way to show comfort. She offered to bring to her a book on the subject, and deliver it to her bedroom discreetly, which was promptly accepted, and assured her that she wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Huang Hua until Erika had calmed down and made her decision.

As a friend, she suggested that it might be a good idea for Erika to contact the father (and even offered to do it on her behalf if necessary) which was declined.

As much as Erika was dreading the conversation that they would have, she knew that she needed to tell Nevra herself.

But how could she even begin to explain what happened to him when only recently he started warming up to her again?

Nevra would never be cruel enough to completely abandon them, and Erika just knew that he would be doting and kind to their child, as he was with all those within his care. But, at the same time, she was afraid of being faced with rejection. It’s not like she could demand a relationship after so long, and forcing it on him using their child as an excuse just seemed downright evil.

She couldn’t sacrifice his freedom like this.

That’s why, in a moment of pure desperation, Erika chose to ignore her plight and avoid him as much as she possibly could.

It tore her up inside, but what else was she supposed to do?

Yeah, she could sense all the disappointed looks that Ewelein shot her, but true to her word, she didn’t say a word. Not when she delivered the book to Erika’s room that night, not a week later when Erika visited the infirmary after being accidentally cut by Mathieu’s sword during fighting lessons and not two weeks later when they went to the beach on Ewelein’s day off.

She diligently scheduled Erika’s next visit, and Erika knew that she couldn’t exactly pretend like nothing was happening anymore.

‘‘At least you have been eating well.’’

Ewelein read through her exam results. Nodding in approval. While she hadn’t said anything directly, she had sent Karuto a detailed list of foods that Erika should consume and avoid, and increased her portions. Eating has been difficult since she woke up, as she couldn’t even stomach certain foods without feeling sick, but it got easier after they were able to narrow down her menu to things that she could tolerate.

The downside is that now Erika was sure that Karuto knew, or at least suspected that something was up. He never said anything, though, which Erika was incredibly grateful for.

‘‘But you know that stress isn’t good for you, right? I mean, in general.’’

‘‘Ewelein, sweetheart, when have I not been stressed?’’

She smiled, though the attempt at a joke wasn’t well-received.

‘‘I’m serious. If you intend on keeping this baby you need to start taking care of yourself. That means sleeping normal hours, eating well, not getting in danger and not getting stressed out.’’

As much as she wanted to argue, she knew perfectly well that Ewelein was right and that she was trying to look out for her, and that’s exactly why it was so frustrating.

It was easy to ask Erika to sleep normal hours or to not be stressed, but every single time Erika closed her eyes she found herself thinking about how Edgard’s throat had been slit. About his blood tinting the snow red.

She found herself wondering if that could be her, in the near future.

Would she be lucky enough to come back, if she were to die again? If she did, would her baby come back too?

She found herself longing for Nevra and his comforting words, then remembering how quick he was to act coldly towards her when she awoke.

He was being nice now, but would he revert back to his coldness once she told him about their child? Would he hate her? Would he send her away? Would he call her a liar? Would he—

She was hyperventilating.

She felt someone gently, but firmly, hold her hand and lead them away from her hair. She noticed, distantly, pain on her scalp.

She must’ve been pulling on it again.

Ewelein told her to take deep breaths, so she did until she calmed herself enough to fully get back to the present time.

She had been spacing out a lot more than she used to, but it probably wasn’t another pregnancy symptom.

Erika stayed in the infirmary for way longer than she expected to once she left for her check-up. Ewelein apologises for pushing her and gives advice, but Erika couldn’t for the life of her remember what it was.

The only thing in her mind was the sudden, concrete realisation that there would be no escaping from her fate:

She would have to tell him, no matter how much it terrified her.

If not for herself, for the sake of her child.